Well, this has been a long time coming. But the past couple weeks have been such a whirlwind of wonderful, I honestly didn’t know where to start. So, I’m just gonna lay it out there:

You know that shiny new job I wanted for Christmas?

Well…

I GOT IT.

As of January 3rd, 2011, I will no longer spend 40 hours a week at a “job”.

I will be spending it at a CAREER.

Specifically, a career in social media. All the hours spent with my many, many, many, MANY extracurriculars have finally paid off. No longer will my passions and my profession be separate- I will be doing what I’m good at, what I truly enjoy… and getting paid in cold hard cash.

(heyooooooooooo)

And I know that NONE of it would have happened without the internet. Without the web, the job wouldn’t exist. The connections wouldn’t have been made. I wouldn’t have figured out what I want to do with my life.

So God bless you, Al Gore. And more importantly, every single one of YOU who sent me a job link or forwarded my resume or put a shout out on the Tweet or FB or even just listened to me vent on Gchat all day long… or over a beer (or seven).

I don’t know what else to say. It feels like all the pieces have fallen into place, and at just the right time. I know this job won’t be easy- I wouldn’t want it if it weren’t a challenge- but I’m so READY to take it on. I can’t wait to start the new year fresh, with the professional finally matching the personal.

And to all of you who are out there looking… I offer you these words of inspiration and wisdom:

(image credit nataliedee)

Have a scrumptious and sparkle-filled holiday, everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mama said share.

(Apologies for the above. It was simply too horrendous NOT to share.)

Well now, it’s just not like me to let a holiday go by without a celebration of sorts. Especially a holiday that means we don’t have to go to work on a Monday. BLAM!

So Thursday, Sept. 2nd (so you peoples heading out of town have no excuse), come on down to the Sign of the Whale to celebrate our day of freedom from Labor and hopefully, the end to this hellish summer weather.

Specials include $2 domestics, $2 rails, and $4 sweet tea vodka drinks (just for us, because we’re special and the SotW people are freaking awesome).

So make sure to come on out and wear your best AMERICAN!!!

Love,

LiLu & Liz

CLICK THE PRETTY BUTTON TO RSVP (and then tweet to share!):

Steal the pretty button to share with your peoples:

<a href="http://twtvite.com/americuhhh" target="_blank"><img src="http://i556.photobucket.com/albums/ss5/Livitluvit/labor-day.gif" border="0" alt="AMERICUH FTW HH" /></a>






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Mama said share.

I can’t believe we’re almost there, but it’s true… on Thursday, MTV will announce their picks for 4 of the final 5 to go on to the final challenges in NYC! Then on Friday, the voting (have you done that yet?!? Get on it! And tell a friend!) … will determine the fifth contestant to move on. We’re so close!

My challenge today is to Interview a Celebrity, at 4:45 pm… I’ll find out two hours beforehand who it is, so follow me on Twitter to find out! And if you want to suggest a question YOU would ask someone famous, I’d be more than glad to hear it in the comments.

Also make sure you check out the interview I did with Patrick of We Love DC. It has ALL the info about the competition, with plenty of juice about yours truly.

Finally, a huge thanks to FamousDC for pimping me at the TOP of their blog all week! I’m feeling the District love, and I like it. I LIKE IT A LOT.

Thank you SO much for going through this with me, guys… we’re so close! New Yawk Citay baby- I can taste it!!!

Mama said share.

Well, okay. That’s not EXACTLY what they said… but it’s how I’m taking it.

My love of Aziz knows no bounds. He IS the show Parks & Rec (step aside, The Office, there’s a new kid in town), his stand up is ridiculous, and he hosted with the mosted at MTV’s Movie Awards last month.

When tickets for his show here in DC in September (SO CLOSE!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!) went on sale, I bought SIX faster than a Delorean can travel through time. Or something.

I mean, seriously. Resistance is futile, ladeeeeeeeeeeez:

See to believe:

Excuse me… I just lizzed myself.

Okay, SO! Here’s what I need you to do to help me win this challenge by getting the coolest celeb follower around town:

Tweet the following, (or get creative if you want!) Let’s blow up my brown hero’s timeline so that HE can’t resist following ME!!!!

@azizansari – Will you be @LivitLuvit’s Kanye West and follow her on Twitter? Help her become the first @MTVTJ!

You guys have been AMAZING, and we’re almost there… we can do this!!!!

UPDATE: WE DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But our work’s not done! The more the better, so get on the tweet and tell YOUR favorite celeb why they should follow me! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Mama said share.

Hey! Have you tweeted today yet? (If you don’t know what this is about, please to clicky here!)

Follow @LivitLuvit, my favorite contestant in the @MTVTJ search for MTV’s first Twitter Jockey! #zyncmtvtj

(Feel free to modify, the above suggestion is just for your copy & paste convenience. Cause I’m good like that.)

Update: I just found out voting will start on July 7th, and it will be via Facebook. (I know, the irony…) Anyway! You will only get to have to vote once, so make sure we’re Facebook friends and I’ll send ya a reminder! WOOT!!!

And now back to our regular programming…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last week, bored in an airport with only my laptop to entertain myself, I of course turned to you, the interwebs, to keep me company. And as always, you did not fail me.

With one simple question, my internet life flashed before my eyes.

And hot DAMN if y’all didn’t rally.

Without further ado, I present to you…

A History of The Internet via Viral Videos We Loved

The Hamster Dance! (click through for the song)

Alien Singing I Will Survive!

The “Oogachaka” Dancing Baby

“Fat Kid Singing Numa Numa Yei”

Banned Commerical – “Blind Date”

“Star Wars Kid”

“Chocolate Rain” by Tay Zonday

“Sneezing Baby Panda”

“Chinese Backstreet Boys”

“Shoes… OMG, Shoes!”

Will Ferrell’s “The Landlord”

(Apparently, the munchkin is Jeremy Piven’s niece! Um, awesome?? Thanks lbluca77!)

Ahhh, how they take me back. Happy Friday, lovebugs!!!

Update: I’m totally adding more with your suggestions, so bring ‘em on!






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Mama said share.

Last week, I glanced at my wordpress dashboard and something caught my eye.

Posts: 493

Wait. What? That must be counting, like, 100 drafts, right??

Nope. It is true, my friends. Today marks the day I have poisoned the interwebs with my drivel Five. Hundred. Times.

After I got over the initial shock, it dawned on me that something clearly must to be done in order to celebrate this ridiculous and entirely self-asborbed milestone.

A BLOG ROAST!!!!!!!!!!

After all, I spend so much time on here making fun of MYSELF… let’s give you all a chance for once, eh?

So a few of my closest friends and bloggy cohorts have given us these Roasty Tidbits so we can have a big old laugh at all things LiLu.

Thank you so much, each and every one of you who wrote something below, all of you who comment around these parts, every last one of you who reads. This place has become one of my favorites in the world, and it’s truly all because of YOU.

Here’s to another (God help us) 500…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roast! Roast! Roast!

Let’s All Make Fun of LiLu!

(If only we had Christopher Walken to MC.)

Let’s kick it off…

brad:

“Things I know you know I know you know (aka FACTS):

I don’t like cats, but I’m cool with Axe Murderer and Murray. So, obviously, they’re not actually cats. And I’d appreciate it if you and B stopped with the lies and just admitted that you found a pair of growth-stunted dogs that are fluent in purring.

Don’t worry: you will never be a cat lady. But if I’m reading the Washington Post 10 years from now and see that you and B are basically the Angelina and Brad of growth-stunted-dogs-pawned-off-as-cats, traveling country to country, adopting animals with identity crises, let’s just say I won’t be surprised.

You dance like Forrest Gump with the leg braces on.

I don’t like food that has been seasoned with poop. But even though I ate at the housewarming when you fought the beast and were elbow deep in your toilet’s exit hole before you made the food, I never once thought about not going back. So either I’m a broken, broken man, or you are worth risking some surprise fiber in the chili.

Congratulations.”

Lexa:

“Lilu once made me go see Year One…where they eat feces. That is all.”

cavy:

“From bathroom humor, crazy boy stories, and a love of both alcohol and karaoke (preferably in combination with each other), I can honestly say that you are one of the most unique people I’ve ever encountered.  And by unique, I mean very similar to me.

In honor of your 500th, I’m placing this fantasy in your hands.  Use it well.”

Lizzy:

“In our year of friendship, Lilu has given me a lot. A vibrator. A virtual, and then real, shoulder to cry on. A badass new website. Hours of inappropriate laughter. So, I love her…but I’m going to have to expose her. You guys think she’s all funny funny cat lady with the cute boyfriend, but before that? Lilu was a FASHION blogger. (The crowd shudders) Yes, people. Go back to the archives. I dare you. Almost every post ended with some shoe porn. So I’m here to say, bring back the mother effing shoes, hooker.”

Moog:

“LiLu and B – so in love you always want to tell them to “GET A ROOM.” Then you realize that they actually DO have a room but it’s full of stupid fucking cats.

LiLu is like the blogger I aspire to be: funny, friendly, and has a vagina. I love vaginas. SO jealous. But then, if I had one, I wouldn’t have time to blog. You know, with all the masturbating and sticking vegetables in it and stuff.

LiLu has been like the sister I never had. I guess that makes B the brother I never had. Which makes me picturing them having sex like some weird Kentucky home movie. Especially with me in the middle. FYI, B is packing and doesn’t like to lube up when he goes backdoor. I wish I never had a brother.”

lacochran:

“Congratulations to the only chick I know who works to make you feel comfortable while she shares details about blow jobs. Shine on you crazy diamond. Love ya!”

Marie:

“She loves hard – especially her man – and lives life to the fullest – especially in bed.

You give her specific instructions for how to make and drink a certain type of extremely strong alcohol. But since she’s already had too much firefly, she’s downed the entire beverage in mid-explanation.

LiLu, my dear, you are a wonderful and unique individual. Let’s keep it that way shall we?”

Maxie:

“Thank god the 20sb Award LiLu won for “blogger I’d most like to get a drink with” was phrased in the singular form. The girl can’t stay up past 10:00 to save her life, let alone to have 2.”

Narm:

“LiLu is to blogging what beastiality is to internet porn. She is funny and shocking but I also have to delete my history before Mom finds out.

500 posts – and at least four of them didn’t have a TWSS joke! It’s like they just come naturally (TWSS).

Thanks to the “TMI Thursday” series it is quicker to just ask bloggers where they HAVEN’T shit themselves. It has turned the internet into one big menstruation play-by-play. Are you there, God, it’s me, THE ENTIRE FUCKING INTERNET.

Congrats on 500 posts!”

Shoebox Dweller:

“Once upon a time, a broken hearted woman wrote a message, slipped it into a bottle, and set it gently upon the water. Giving voice to her grief made her feel better, and so she continued writing, setting the words free.

Day after day, she watched the bottles drift away, destination unknown.

One day, she woke up and was amazed to find a bottle washed up on shore. She nervously unrolled the message, and read the words:

“I hear you. You are stronger and braver than you know, and I hear you.”

Words can make us laugh, sometimes so hard that we think we will burst. Words can make us cry, for our own sorrows and those of others we have never met.

Words bring people together who would otherwise never meet, for reasons of geography or age or any other divisive reason.

It’s been an honour to be a part of your life, your home, and most of all, to be part of the incredible community that you have created. Your creativity and humour brings people together, and that is a rare gift indeed.”

Jenn:

“When I first met LiLu at #pbtuna back in October, I was all nervous and intimidated and scared and “what if she hates me?!” I mean, come on people. The girl writes about poop at least once a week. What if I was too white bread because I kept my bowel movements to myself? Can you really blame someone for that sort of discretion?

Well kids, I’m going to let you in on a little top secret state secret. That girl who writes about farts and named her cat Axe Murderer? SHE’S A TOTAL SOFTIE.

That’s right. Total softie. Have you read her archives from when she first met B? (*cough* I’m a stalker *cough*). She’s quite lovable, this one.

Unless you’re a freak in a bar who won’t stop talking to her or her friends, in which case you should brace yourself because all that shit she keeps talking about? It’s coming straight for your face.”

Alexa:

“four words: penis shaped ice luge. i love you girl, and congrats on making it to 500! being the blog rockstar that you are, you’ll be hitting 1,000 before we know it. xoxo”

That Kind of Girl:

“One of the most incredible things about Lilu is how hard she works to make sure she individually welcomes every single person to the internet. Girlfriend’s such a comment whore she has to wear latex gloves when she types. Who among us hasn’t wondered how she has the friggin’ time to be a patron saint of and treasured friend to bloggers everywhere?

Pro tip: she saves time by forcing B to generate half of her posts. Can’t you just see him, locked in the bathroom, one cat duct-taped to each arm while Lilu force feeds him tequila and laxatives. “Come on, baby, next Thursday’s post won’t write itself. Give me two more cat jokes and one poop story, then we can negotiate your couch privileges…”

Completely worth it, Lilu (and hang in there, B — keep saying shiz, lest she feed you to Axie!). We love your blog, dude, and we love you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***This idea inspired by my dear friend Katherine’s genius post a year ago- thanks for letting my blatantly steal it. XOXO***






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Mama said share.

Is a 20SB Bootleg award.

Or six.

I found out today, and am completely and totally honored that, I’m (for the first time!) a “finalist” nominee for the following 20SB “award” categories…

Funniest Blogger (I’m going to hope this is “with”, not “at”… but we all know the truth)

Best Commenter (cause I heart you twerps)

Least Likely To Be “Marked As Read” (awww, love that!)

Blogger I’d Share A Drink With (I will admit… much like Charlie, I am fun to drink with)

Most Awkward Blogger (no surprise here. Love it.)

And last, but oh-so-NOT-least…

Best. Freaking. Female. BLOGGER!!!!!

ROCK.

So, look, guys. I know this is just a weebit shameless. But, if you do for some reason think that maybe I would be worthy of one (or all- yes, I am totes greedy like that) of these awards I’ve been put up for, please go vote here!

Or just click this...

It would make my day. Or at least my hour. And you could even, like, tweet this, if you wanted to. Who knows… maybe your finger will just slip on that cute little blue “t” icon down there. That’s it… the one right under this post.

Anyhoo, no matter what happens, thank you so much for the nods in the first place… I am truly flattered!

LOVE YOUR FACES.

Mama said share.