This post is sponsored by Official Streetwear Shop

When I was in the magical land of Bloggers in Sin City last month, our fearless leader Nicole put together the most ridiculous swag bags for us all (emphasis on ridiculous, as they were full of hair tinsel, condoms, panties, and more).

There were a lot of treats in that bag, but you all know I am first and foremost a sucker for anything delicious, so one of my favorites was without a doubt the custom-iced cookie from Bitter Baking Co. Now, the cookie was good – real good – but it’s the company I fell in love with, and here’s why:

Happy Birthday, Asshat

Glad we're getting hitched, we could use some new stuff.

I hear prostitution is recession proof.

I'm thrilled you're going to be gay in public.

Happy Birthday. It's awesome you're still trying.

I wanted to apologize about the sex.

No one thinks you're a slut, lots of people have herpes.

Please enjoy this gift that you cannot sell for drug money.

They just… GET ME.

And from what I know about my readers, they get you, too. So I was stoked when they offered up a batch of cookies of YOUR choice for a giveaway. You can choose from their Snarky Cookies, mix cookie themes, or make your own (including custom photo cookies). So yeah, it’s pretty much just plain awesome.

Comment with your favorite cookie from their site, or an IDEA for a hilarious cookie below to enter! Tweet or share this post on Facebook for an extra entry (please comment that you’ve done so).

Winner will be chosen randomly on Tuesday, July 5, so check back then. Anyone in the US or Canada can enter. Woot!

Mama said share.

Save 66% on an Us Weekly subscription with no auto renewal.

Now, I can dress myself. Rather well, I might add. BUT.

I am, like most of the female population, one of those girls who never has anything to wear. I can barely get into my walk-in closet thanks to all the crap in there, and this is still the case. I buy pieces that I love, but have trouble turning them into outfits. It takes me twenty minutes just to pick my clothes in the morning, and I generally go through five outfits before I find something I don’t hate.

This should not be the case.

So when I saw the opportunity to have a “strategic shopping” session with Kaarin Moore of Closet Caucus that promised to help me sort through my wardrobe woes, I was curious. And after I googled a bit, I decided that she sounded legit (and just lovely to boot), so why not give it a shot?

(She’s also on Twitter, which automatically makes me like any company about 50% more.)

Before our session, she asked me a zillion questions about my style, personality, and what I liked to do. (Me: “Does ‘mimosas’ count as a hobby?”) So when we met up in Georgetown last week, she already had a solid idea of where I was coming from and what I needed to accomplish. We spent a while discussing what I had in my wardrobe already (thereby determining which staples we were on the hunt for that day), and discussing strategies for optimizing my closet as a whole, so that my pieces would all easily fit together and I’d never be left struggling with that WHAT TO WEAR?! question again.

Next, we hit the streets. First, I needed the perfect Little Black Dress, as I hate the 10 or so already in my closet. About five minutes later, we walked out of White House Black Market with an absolutely perfect, high quality, flattering LBD. You’ll probably see it on me at the next happy hour, so get ready, y’all.

After that, JEANS. We headed into Levi’s (Her: “Levi’s has been doing great things lately…” Me: “I don’t care what the label says, as long as they make my ass look good.”) and headed upstairs… to see 4,294 pairs of jeans. I trembled in fear, while Kaarin marched me to a dressing room and returned in five minutes with three pairs.

The first fit well, but wasn’t quite IT.

The second was so perfect, I didn’t even try on the third.

Yes, that’s right. Homegirl found my Cinderella Jeans in TWO. TRIES.

We hit a few other stores where I found some perfect summer dresses for my weddings and conferences I have this summer, a couple adorable cardis, and more. The whole time I was completely comfortable – shopping with Kaarin was honestly more like shopping with a BFF who really knew her shit. (I didn’t hold back – she got the full Rachael… and she didn’t bat an eye. This chick? Is cool.)

The one thing I couldn’t find was the perfect black blazer. A few hours after our session, Kaarin emailed me a link to the exact kind we’d been looking for.

She also sent me an invite to ideeli.com, which, after looking around there, means my wallet is in a LOT of trouble. (If you want an invite, let me know in the comments. I’ll make it happen.)

Now, I know this whole thing sounds like she paid me tons of money to write it.

She didn’t. Not a cent. But after telling a few of my besties about it, they all said they’d be interested in something like this, so I wanted to share. (She’ll also come over to your house and clean out your closet for you, which will probably be my next purchase…)

Anyway, the only thing I’m getting out of this writeup is a 10% discount for you:

Closet Caucus is a fashion and wardrobe consulting company located in Washington, DC. Stylist Kaarin Moore was inspired to start her own business when she found herself becoming the go-to shopping companion for her friends and their friends. Kaarin has a passion for helping clients, from those who are body conscious to clients who are completely uninhibited.

So go forth and fix your wardrobes, ladies. And do it under the guiding hand of Kaarin Moore. (Cinderella jeans. TWO TRIES. You just can’t beat that.)

Mama said share.

*drumrolllllllllllllll*

And the winner of ONE YEAR’S SUPPLY of Lean Pockets is….

THAT KIND OF GIRL!!!!!!!!!!

Congrats, lady friend. And no, your Lean Pocket full disclosure was not for naught. (See what I did there??)

I’ll put you in touch with my people and we will get your your 185 boxes of cheesy-oozy goodness in no time!

Mama said share.

If you peek at my left sidebar, you’ll notice a lot of pretty buttons linking to, as I like to call them, “Lovely Stuff ‘n Things”. These are shops that I know and love and am honored to have as sponsors. In light of the holiday season, I thought we might take a closer look…

Santastitch

Among other things, Santastitch specializes in absolutely adorable homemade gloves (I like the fingerless ones for easy smartphone access) and cheeky cross-stitch quotes that I want, well, ALL of. (There’s even some from the infamous Sue Sylvester in there…)

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3crows

Next up, Sara Pulver’s adorable shop of “Whimsical, Fun and Funny Animal Paintings and Prints”! YES, PLEASE. This undeniably adorable-with-a-dark-twist shop has dozens of creations ready to purchase, OR Sara can make your very own custom painting. If your mother is as obsessed with her dog as mine is, it may just be the perfect extra thoughtful gift this Christmas. Check it:

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SwirlyGarden

Meena’s hand-painted glassware took my breath away the first time I saw it. How do you not fall in love with someone whose favorite materials are “Anything that can get messy”?  I mean, just LOOK as this stuff:

SWOON.

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per:cent

As if Kat’s adorable handcrafted jewelry (made from vintage materials, fabric, stone and found objects) wasn’t reason enough to surprise someone with a piece from her shop this holiday, she also donates 20% of her profits to the Sierra Student Coalition, an amazing youth run environmental organization. She’s a fellow blogger as well, so check out her there after you’ve picked out your favorites from her shop, like these…

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PuppyDogsNPolkaDots

Every time I take my iPad out in front of someone new, they squeal. Know why? Because its case looks like this:

I KNOW. This lovely shop features adorable handmade cases for eReaders, iPads, iPods, phones, cameras, and more, as well as a zillion adorable fobs that I basically want all of. They worked with me to create the exact case I wanted, from fabric to patterns to monogramming, and they’d be happy to do the same for you.

They’ve got so much freaking cute stuff in their shop I could never do it justice here- so please click through and check it out for yourself- but here’s a sampling of my favorites:

For the Twitter addict:

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simply – bags

This mom ‘n pop operation of monogrammed tote bags is one of my favorites. Whether you’re looking for a laptop, diaper or beach bag, they have every style you could ever want, from animal print to bold and fun to classic and chic. They even have WINE bags- um, love. Here’s a few of my faves:

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Finally, my friend Jess has a request for you, on behalf of her and her recently-deployed best friend, Alex:

“The site “Let’s Say Thanks” allows people to have cards sent with a personal message to deployed soldiers. It takes less than five minutes, but it means the world to the soldiers recieving them. In 10 short days, Alex will be one of the deployed on a 365 tour in Afghanistan. Thank you, very much, from the both of us.”

Please take just a few minutes from your day to remind a soldier abroad how grateful we are for what they do for us. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to be across the world away from their families and loved ones over the holidays, but we can hopefully put a smile of their faces with a card of thanks. Do it. DO IT.

And happy freaking holidays, y’all.

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Want to see your shop/blog/etc. on my sidebar? Click here for more info.

Mama said share.

via Filmdrunk

Mama said share.

(Sad that there’s no smaller size, but you can also view it here)

Also, are you going to be in Boston tomorrow? Yes? SWEET. Then I will see you here for too many margaritas!

Mama said share.

Heyo! My favorite new sponsor, What’s The Deal, has offered to do a giveaway here in this old place every now and then with a gift certificate to one of their ongoing deals. To this I say: ROCK ON, soul train. 

So deal the first! Is a $25 GC to Momo’s Sports Bar on U Street. B and I watched a bunch of the World Cup games there, and I absolutely love this place. It’s totally laid back, and we had fantastic service on one of their craziest days. Excellent. 

*cue Monty Burns fingers* 

Onward! There are three ways to enter the random.org drawing: 

1. Sign up to get the Daily Deal to your email 

2. Follow What’s The Deal on the tweet 

3. “Like” them on the ‘Book 

Do one, two, or all three- and leave me a comment telling me you’ve done so. A comment for each entry, please! 

And just in case you don’t win, you can sign up to get a reminder when this deal ($10 for a $25 GC to Momo’s) is ending. Winner announced tomorrow, 9/1, at noon eastern time. 

Do it. Do it. 

Update: And the winner is…

Congrats, chica! I’ll put you in touch with the WTD people and get that GC over to you, stat. Woot!

Mama said share.

Which is why @LexaLemmy is one of my most favoritest people in the world, forever and always amen.

Oh, Marcel! How I want to hug you (gently)!! And maybe buy you some rollerskates. Smooches.

Sidebar: I’m also over here today, but it’s a bit emo. Probably better to stick with Marcel the Shell with Shoes On.

Mama said share.

Hey! Have you tweeted today yet? (If you don’t know what this is about, please to clicky here!)

Follow @LivitLuvit, my favorite contestant in the @MTVTJ search for MTV’s first Twitter Jockey! #zyncmtvtj

(Feel free to modify, the above suggestion is just for your copy & paste convenience. Cause I’m good like that.)

And now back to our regular programming…

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Growing up, I spent my high school years working in a TGI Friday’s in Suburbia, Massachusetts.

I am a complete an utter cornball, but… they were some of the best years of my life.

The friends I made while working there are the ones I see when I go back home. They’re the ones I call when life falls to pieces around me, or when something so amazing happens I have to share it with the world (cough cough MTV cough). Being older than I, they taught me about the facts of life in ALL capacities, and more importantly, snuck me into bars underage watched over me like big brothers and sisters.

There is quite literally NOTHING like working in a restaurant. The, ahem, environment there is unlike any place on earth. You know that movie “Waiting“? … Let’s just say it’s like that, times a thousand.

(And if you haven’t seen it, please people, take this very, very important message away…

Don’t fuck with the people who handle your food!!!!!!!!!!)

Anyhoo.

You BOND with these people in a way you never knew was possible. I imagine it’s kind of like going to war. A very pussified war, to be sure, but you know what I mean… you’re in it together, no matter what the jagoffs (be it customer, manager or cook) throw your way.

And how do you get through it, day after day? JOKES. Jokes, my friend… with a healthy dose of (friendly) sexual harrassment.

One of our running themes was the theory of The Three Types of Dude. It goes like this…

The overall personality of a guy falls into one of three categories:

1. Panache: a grand or strikingly bold manner; showy; conspicuously dashing.
2. Mojo: charisma; sex appeal; personal magnetism.
3. Je ne sais quoi: having that certain “I don’t know what”… but damn if it ain’t good.

Now, a guy can certainly overlap a bit. He can be “mostly mojo, with just a hint of panache,” or “je ne sais quoi, with a streak of mojo.” But in general, nearly every (sexy) man on the planet can be clearly identified as predominantly having one of the three characteristics.

Let me show you it.

Josh Holloway

Mojo. Pure, unadulterated mojo. I think this is true of most hot Southern boys…

Ryan Reynolds

Super panache. Panache coming out his pores. Panache for DAYS.

Will Smith

An unlikely half and half mix of panache and mojo.
Oh, how our Fresh Prince has grown!

Don Dra- I mean, John Hamm

A purebred of je ne sais quoi. He needs nothing else to get the job done.
(The job being our panties = creamed.)

Alexander Skarsgard

Mojo, mojo, and more mojo. Pure goddamn MOJO… with a sneaky hint of panache when he wants to throw it in there.
(Tyra must have taught him how to smile with his eyes.)

Taye Diggs

Mojo with a side dish of je ne sais quoi.
How can you be that sexy AND that sweet??

Brad Pitt

Panache… with a very healthy dose of mojo. Wink for us, baby.

The Cloon

Oh, George. You are truly the ultimate in je ne sais quoi, but truth be told…
you have it all.

Sigh. Well, I just made MY Thursday better, anyway.

Who am I missing, and what would they be?

Also, gentleman: I challenge you to come up with a similar system for the ladies. Would it just be “cute, sexy, pretty”? You can do better than that…

Update! My friend Emil has risen to the challenge… what do you think, ladies?? Did he get us?

Yes, this is an ad. Mama is poor, yo:

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Mama said share.

Raise your hand if you’re going to Chipotle for lunch after watching this…

Happy Friday, bumpkins!

Mama said share.