So, you may have heard about this little “awards show” that’s happening on Sunday. I’m not allowed to mention it by name for top secret legal reasons I don’t understand (see sponsored note below), but I’m pretty sure y’all know the one I mean. The one about all the TV shows, with the prizes that are shiny orbs, and most importantly, they brought one of my favorite Brits BACK to host again after he brutally trashed nearly all of America’s Hollywood royalty last year. Which, let’s be honest, I thoroughly enjoyed every second of.

So this year, I plan on backing Ricky up with some cutting witticisms of my own on the tweets, with the help of my three new sassy gay roommates. WATCH OUT.

Why? Because Lean Pockets is hosting a Twitter party for their Live Famously Sweepstakes during the show this year, which means that myself and a bunch of other lovely ladies will all be live tweeting the awards, AND giving away free swag to you all to boot. Each of us will be raffling off a Live Famously swag bag full of all sorts of lovely, shiny things (most notably a $50 spa gift card, what what!)

Even cooler, the #LiveFamously Twitter party is merely a taste of the actual Sweepstakes, which are being hosted by one Perez Hilton and involves a grand prize of a trip to Tinseltown to hang out with him. (NBD.)

The winner and a BFF will be flown to LA to, quite literally, “live like a celeb” for a day. This involves ridiculously fun things like a swanky hotel stay, car service, a $1k shopping spree, a $250 spa experience, and a special concert experience, all hosted by Perez. Imagine how much celeb dirt you’d hear? Answer: ALL OF IT.

The promotion goes until March 31, so you have plenty of time to win one of their daily prizes as well – just head over to their Facebook page for all the deets.

And don’t forget to hang with me at the Twitter party (PANTS OFF DANCE OFF!!! – you know, since we’ll all be at home on our couches in our adult onesies, amiright?) starting this Sunday, 7pm ET! There will be snark and snark and FREE STUFF (and more snark) galore.

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FYI! This post (and my pending tweets on Sunday) are sponsored by Nestlé/Lean Pockets. Yes, they totally gave me money for this, but all opinions are very much my own, as is the sass they come with.

Mama said share.

It’s Friday, and that warrants a little fun. Free = fun, and cute undies = fun, so the two of them together?

Super duper deliciously fun.

If you haven’t heard of pull-in, I’m about to edumacate you. They’re a underwear/swim/clothing store in NYC that makes stuff so cool, it’d be what the Spice Girls wore if they were still hip today. (Or Marky Mark, for the men folk.)

Oh. Sorry, Mark.

It’s funky, sporty, sexy, with a bit of a Threadless vibe to it – but not nearly as emo.

{Click to see Ladies}

{Click to see Men’s}

To enter, all you have to do is tweet the following:

Need some new undies? RT & follow @pullin_us & @rachaelgk to win $80 of #pullin underwear! http://bit.ly/qxVihs #giveaway

Everyone (18+ and in the US, sorry Canucks!) who tweets will automatically be entered for the contest (now through 11:59pm on Saturday, July 16th). Winner will be notified via the @pullin_us Twitter handle. Boys will win two pairs of boxers/briefs etc., and girls will win a matching top & bottom set (both valued at $80).

So that’s it! Go forth and get you some new sexy underthings for the weekend. (Rawwwwwr.)

Mama said share.

Visit Scrubs Gallery for great prices on scrubs.

Vodka… lemonade. Amiright??

[source]

You know I am. So, how do we make it happen?

Well, first you have someone email you and say, “Hey blogger, we were wondering if you’d like to review one of our products…”

And you be all, “Thanks, I’m not really into reviewing stuff right now, I’m very busy and important.”

So then they say, “Oh, okay, I’ll just send this FREE BOTTLE OF CHERRY VODKA to someone else then!”

And then YOU go “ZOMG, please excuse my evil twin sister who just said that, because YES and also PLEASE.”

Then a week later this bad boy shows up on your doorstep:

And you’re all, “Heyooooo party in a glass FTW!!”

So, I let my dormant inner bartender takeover. As it’s been 928 degrees here in DC all week (give or take), I couldn’t think of anything more refreshing than some cherry (vodka) lemonade. And because I am a giver, and also because the people who sent me this lovely vodka would like me to, I’m going to share it with you.

Probably The Most Refreshing Drink Ever Recipe

Fill pint glass with ice. Add:

• 2.5 oz of Pucker Cherry Vodka
• 1 squeezed fresh lime
• 1 squeezed lemon wedge
• 2 strawberries cut into fourths or so
• 5 oz lemonade (pink or yellow – I like yellow so the sour contrasts with the sweet)

Shake well, then pour directly into face. (Also be 21. I feel like I should probably throw that in here somewhere.)

I didn’t have any on hand, but I think a couple sprigs of mint in this would be phenomenal too.

Got any other ideas for this delicious stuff? I still have half a bottle… (best one gets to drink it with me)!

P.S. I set up a fancy new profesh site over at rachaelgking.com. Would love your two cents on the design, content, all that jazz, as I’m still tweaking to make it perfect! If you’re interested in social media opines and general digital marketing info, feel free to subscribe too.

Mama said share.

*drumrolllllllllllllll*

And the winner of ONE YEAR’S SUPPLY of Lean Pockets is….

THAT KIND OF GIRL!!!!!!!!!!

Congrats, lady friend. And no, your Lean Pocket full disclosure was not for naught. (See what I did there??)

I’ll put you in touch with my people and we will get your your 185 boxes of cheesy-oozy goodness in no time!

Mama said share.

***Update: Contest is closed! Winner announced here***

Lean Pockets!!!

*cue Jim Gaffigan* “hoooooooooot POCKETS”

Like a few of my favorite gals (and guy) across the blogosphere, I was recently given the opportunity to throw a “Wrapped in Goodness” party to showcase the Lean Pockets new Culinary Creations to some of my besties. They not only provided the grub (in delicious Pocket form), they also gave each of us our very own Snuggie, provided a gift card for “party supplies” (read: LOTS O BOXED WINE), and oodles of coupons for free Lean Pockets for my guests.

Seeing as this party was a triple win from the start, it really couldn’t have been a better night. I asked all the ladies to bring their favorite chick flick and themselves, preferably in PJs- and nothing more. B disappeared to a friend’s house for the evening and the girls’ night kicked off promptly.

(Now, trust when I say that, even though it’s been a while since I was a single gal, the stereotype of the convenient “for one” meal + Snuggie was not lost on me. To this I say, who cares? Free food/booze/blankets with sleeves, all of which are things I individually adore! But, just so you know I’m not completely oblivious. You guys know me better than that.)

Delicious Snuggies forrrrrr meeeeeeeeeeee (us), I *guess*

Bubbles and carbs FTW!!!

Just in case you weren't excited yet. And yes, my shirt *does* say "purrito".

This is what's called a "fancy table". Just FYI.

You can tell exactly how lazy I am by the fact that I bought cute “winter” cups to disguise the fact that they weren’t actually wine glasses, meaning I wouldn’t ACTUALLY have to do dishes. Whatevs. That snowman is way cute!

A Q&A game they sent us. Answer to whether my friends are veggie paninis or corndogs: Everyone in my life is a corndog. Duh.

Getting Snuggilicious with it.

Ain't no party like a Maxie party.

I love my friends.

Even our crazy can't scare away the ferocious Murray.

SNUGGIE PHOTO BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!

Once everyone had settled in and warmed themselves with Snuggies and boxed wine and kitty faces, it was time to stuff our faces, like any respectable ladies’ night in:

Finally time to dig in...

Going... going... NOM.

The Lean Pockets lasted approximately 2.6 seconds before I had to put a second (and third) batch in the oven. We were especially fans of the Garlic Chicken White Pizza (well, actually, ALL the pizza varieties), and I had bought a couple sausage, egg & cheese pockets for my trip to NYC in the morning with Maxie and Cara that were surprisingly breakfast-sandwich-y delicious.

Cliff Raven 2009 Malbec and 2010 Torrontes

We were also fortunate enough to have  some samplings from Cliff Raven Wine- the malbec was spicy and delicious, while the torrontes was crisp and refreshing. (Thanks so much, @CliffRavenWine!!!)

While my guests certainly lucked out in the Snuggie and free food/booze department, fret not, dear reader, for you too can experience the convenience and nom-ity that is the Lean Pocket… for a YEAR. For free.

What WHAT?!?!!?

Simply by liking this post on Facebook right under my disclaimer below (and leaving a comment to tell me you’ve done so), you’ll be entered in a drawing to win a full year’s supply of Lean Pockets. You can get extra entries by tweeting this post, by liking Lean Pockets on Facebook, and by following them on Twitter (all separate comments, please.)

Basically, with the click of a mouse, you can make it rain cheese and chicken and Lean Pocket pizza up in your face ALL. 2011. LONG.

And that? Is all Imma say about that.

Contest ends at 11:59 pm on Tuesday, December 21. Winner announced at 10 am ET on Wednesday, December 22.

Disclaimer: I was totally provided with Lean Pockets for the night (and coupons for my guests), Snuggies, and gift cards both for party supplies and as a host thank-you. Despite this, y’all know opinions are my own. Boo yah.

Mama said share.

You know how sometimes after that fourth beer, people will accidentally say something that reinforces a known stereotype, and at first everyone gasps in horror (if strangers are around- I mean, what?), but then someone goes “Well, stereotypes exist for a reason, after all,” and at some point in history that became an entirely valid argument for being just a little bit racist or bigoty or whatever your judgment of choice is?

Well, I would like to extend this same courtesy to clichés.

Look, clichés exist for the same reason we’ve decided to consider all Jews funny, and all Latinos passionate lovers with pimped out Civics, and all white people as horrible dancers (unless an 80′s beat is involved and The Sprinkler is a bona fide dance move).

Partly because it’s just plain funnier that way… but most of all, it’s EASY.

Think about it. You go to a new place for the first time, you don’t know what the hell to do. So, you go dance on the piano key steps of FAO Schwarz, or have dinner on top of the Space Needle, or visit the Kendall Jackson winery in Napa, or lead a parade through the streets of Chicago singing “Twist and Shout”.

Wait, maybe not that last one.

My point is, what’s so wrong with these things? Just because millions of people do them every year, we’re supposed to look down on them? It’s so WAY TOTALLY COOLER to come home and brag about how you got off the beaten path and found this local bar with a local band playing and and drank the local beer the local bartender recommended and got to talk with the local people, man!

Well, you know what? You were probably annoying the hell out of them, and they all made fun of you as soon as you walked out the door.

(Really, you can’t blame them. You *were* wearing a scrunchie.)

All I know is that when I’m in Vegas in nine days, we will take a totally cheesy picture in front of the Bellagio fountain. We will scream “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, except herpes!!!” about eleventy billion times, and someone will most likely get married by an Elvis impersonator.

And that’s? Okay.

It’s okay to go out in Adams Morgan and end up at a Jumbo Slice every once in a while. Hell, ride a segway around Penn Quarter, for all I care. Do whatever makes you happy! Life is too damn short to not see the ball drop in Times Square or show your boobs at the Mardi Gras, just because zillions of people have done it before.

Because after all, is there ANYTHING more cliché than some hipster or otherwise pretentious d-bag saying, “Oh, that is so cliché” *condescending hand wave*  ?

I think not.

Bee tee dubs, a very special lady is going to war with a very assholey brain tumor today. Please head over and wish her the best of luck in her fight against Wallace!!!!!

Mama said share.

(Sidebar: As long as I’m doing reviews, the apartment is sorely in need of some new and fantastic bar stools before we throw our next shindig, and this site is totally tempting me…)

So, this weekend I was lucky enough to get some free stuff. When is that ever a bad thing?

Answer: When it’s an STD.

Zing!!!!!!

Anyhoo.

First up, a lovely lady from Glasses USA asked if I’d like a free pair of eyeglasses. (They also have prescription glasses, and their prices seem pretty darn reasonable to me.)

My answer?

I went with the Michele Burgandy eyeglass frames, mostly because the name reminded me of Anchor Man but also because they are kind of awesome, no? They even inspired my new Twitter profile pic!

Yeah… so… that happened. Moving on!

(Oh, and just in case you can’t see what I’m reading…)

Yes, that is Glamourpuss, by the genius people from KittyWigs. Anytime y’all want to send me something to “review,” I am GAME, ya hear me?

Next up, another lovely lady was wondering if I’d like to try some magical new skin lotion from Skin MD. (Okay, she didn’t say magical, but it is snOMG here and I am SCOTCH-IRISH, people. Just imagine what my hands look like right about now. Any sort of lotion is magic to me at this point.)

At first touch I was skeptical, as it seemed a little runny. I tend to like the super thick, almost-impossible-to-spread cremes and lotions. But it quickly absorbed and seems to be doing its job quite nicely, thankyouverymuch. If you want to try it, their store locator can help you find some near you.

And finally… well, yesterday was Valentine’s Day! So of course I got free stuff, aka presents!

The man?

HE KNOWS ME.

That’s right, my friends. He got me a completely badass giraffe computer bag for the new Mac…

And six pounds of ketchup.

Klassy.

(The cats approved.)

Trouble, I tell ya. With a capital “T” and that rhymes with “P” and that stands for Pussy!

Oh, is that not how it goes?

Happy Monday, chickadees.

Mama said share.

This WYR Wednesday brought to you by my listening to Wale’s “Center of Attention“… on the treadmill. Because that’s where I do my best only thinking.

What? I'm gangsta.

And also, because I’m actually curious what you would answer.

So, Would You Rather…

1. Receive a million dollars $300 thousand (you were all choosing this one- too easy!) absolutely free and clear, but know you will never, ever be famous in your lifetime… for anything?

2. Receive zero financial gain for it, but become famous for something awesome, like an Olympic medal or curing cancer. (Let’s assume in this scenario, for some reason curing cancer did not give you any cash money. You didn’t do something awesome and give it to orphans or anything, you just never got any money for it.)

3. Be filthy rich AND famous, but you have no control over what your fame is for. Like, you could be the Cloon… or you could be Octomom. You don’t know til it happens.

vs.

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***By the way, don’t forget to put this Friday’s Happy Hour on your calendar! Vapiano’s in Dupont! Woot!***






Yes, this is an ad. Mama is poor, yo:

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Mama said share.

So, you may have noticed that I’ve added some very shiny new buttons over on the sidebar recently. Over there, under the title “Pretty, Pretty Things I Wouldn’t Kick Out of Bed For Eating Crackers”… yeah, that’s the one!

Anyhoodle, these lovely stores represent all things that I find shiny and fun… jewelry, photography, sex toys…

Well, see for yourself. The holidays are lurking, after all!

Click the shop buttons to check out their purty stuffs and things!

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Alex ”recycles vintage and resale jewelry into fresh and {new} pieces”… and they are absolutely beautiful. Fun, flirty, and overall divine…

See?

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Rachel’s stuff is so classic and chic… I just want it all to be mine. How bad ass is this?

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Tanya, the artist of Aardvark Silver, also offers you guys a discount: “Livit Luvit in the coupon code box will get you 25% off from now until Dec 31st! Hurry as all items are One Of A Kind. Shipping is by registered Air Mail and takes up to 2 weeks so make sure to order earlier rather than later so it gets there in time! You can use the coupon as often as you would like.”

Gor-jus…

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I want to NOM this ring in the face. Right in its pretty, pretty vibrant blue face. Beth Cyr’s shop is FULL of gorgeous gems like these…

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I have a special place in my heart for this shop, and not just because she sent me a totally bad ass steampunk necklace that I absolutely adore. DRYAN327′s gorgeous things include “Vintage Charms, Pendants, Lockets & Steampunk”… emphasis on the steampunk, peoples. I mean, how freaking cool is this??

I KNOW.

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Jess is a Chicago-based jewelry artist, and I truly mean it when I say her stuff is breathtaking. Chic and classic, you’ve got to see it to understand…

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Here’s the blurb from Diva Loves Silver’s gorgeous shop… “Welcome to Diva Loves Silver! We feature UNIQUE and ONE OF A KIND silver jewelry: flower bracelets and flower pendants, as well as keepsake pendants and other animal-featured pendants, just to name a few of our high-quality, unique design of silver jewelry. We also feature lovely dangle earrings and stud earrings, along with silver necklaces to complement your profile.”

Oh, how I want that wee elephant to be mine…

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This store is so damn FUN it’s ridiculous. They’re the cutest little hats you ever did see, and just in time for Fall…

WANT!

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If you don’t know Diana’s photography, you must be blind, because it’s everywhere in the blogosphere… and with good reason.

Here’s my favorite print, which is hanging on my fridge at home right now:

But I’m also especially partial to this one:

No idea why…

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And last but not least, the ADORAMABLE vintage store Some Like It Vintage. Hands off, ladies (and Ben). This bad boy is MINE.

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Disclaimer: Yes, these fabulous people/shops/etc. gave me some “incentive”- heh, heh- to post their buttons. BUT I sought them out and inquired with them, specifically because I love their stuff, so consider this endorsement whole-hearted, my friends!

Happy shopping!

Mama said share.

Last Friday, I had the grave misfortune of attending… dum dum dum… a “Work and Time Management” seminar. You see, I work at one of those huge, incredibly bureaucratic companies where, come Annual Review time, you’d better have some concrete thingamabobs to put on that form that represent trying to better oneself.

I know, I know. Total BS. But whatevs, mama needs a raise. So I’m playing the game, see?

The seminar was from 9 to 5, aka alllllllllllllllllllllllllll goddamn day. So I knew going in it would either be a great thing (i.e. an easy day off work), or complete and utter torture.

I grabbed a coffee and a seat with a few ladies I recognized from my department. I immediately noticed the four “drawing boards” strategically placed at the corners of the room, just screaming “WE ENCOURAGE ACTIVE PARICIPATION!!!”

And the sense of dread set in.

Sure enough, at 9 sharp, a rotund woman in a pants suit that did nothing for her gathered herself at the front of the room, and clapped her hands together sharply.

“Goooooooooood morning!!!”

It was all I could do not to shout “VIETNAM!” at the top of my lungs. The room gave her a half-hearted, “I haven’t had my coffee yet” bedraggled response.

I already knew what was coming.

“I know it’s morning, but you can do better than that!!! It’s FRIIIIIIIIIIday!”

Seriously, lady? SERIOUSLY? That line hasn’t been funny for the past two decades… and I’m willing to bet, neither have you.

She spent the rest of the day giggling at us like Mrs. Butterworth on happy pills while choking on corporate buzzword after buzzword.

“Urgency versus importance!” “Stressful work environments!” “Time management tips & tricks!”

At 10:40, I finally managed to escape long enough to tweet my despair…

“In a seminar w/ teacher Mary Fucking Sunshine. I honestly do not get how one can be so full of PEP and GLEE and STEREOTYPICAL CATCH PHRASES.”

I was just waiting for her to refer to us as her “special people”, a la Billy Madison.

But the most annoying part of it all? It actually wasn’t her. It was the dumbass robots around me who bought every last bit of it, hook line and sinker. The sympathetic nods as people sob-storied about working til 9pm, eating lunch at their desks, even having insomnia from getting up at 3am to handle correspondence with our Asia and Pacific branch.

Um… WHAT? Why??? We’re all assistants. I know what you get paid. Why on earth would you do that to yourself in a dead end job? Didn’t anyone ever teach you to keep the bar low??

After a couple hours of talking about our feeeeeelings, Mary pulls out her handy dandy self-developed “Time Management Matrix” tool, outlining the four categories ‘tasks’ should be labeled as in order to identify their priority in our “work plans”. Whatever, right? Let’s just get this over wi-

And then someone actually tried to ARGUE with Mary that the categories were wrong.

<Insert world’s biggest, huffiest sigh of agitated disbelief here.>

Do you really think the lady who MADE THIS UP is going to say, “Oh hey, glorified secretary, you’re right! I’ve been going about this wrong for 15 years! How silly of me to have been teaching this all over the world!”

It’s a good thing there weren’t any sharp objects in that room. I think I would have been the first person to off another human being with a stapler.

OOOOOOOooooo. I just got the email to complete my evaluation of said course…

This? Should be fun.

*evil cackle*

Mama said share.