Today, I’m off to see my GBF from college I have seen ONCE since we gradumated in ot six. He lives in West Hollywood, but is in NYC because his company is shooting a movie and he’s a baller like that.

To say I am a wee bit excited would be the understatement of the year.

Tommy, I lub your face and I can’t wait to have another man fondle my boobs for the first time in over a year. B already gave you clearance.

SEE YOU IN SIX HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I’ll be on the ‘berry, so if you’re in the area, shoot me a tweet or an email! Woot!

Mama said share.

(Did you get to ask B a question yesterday? About me, us, his balls, footballs- anything! Just head this way…you have til Fri-dee!)

So, today is sort of a little somethin… it’s my 300th post. That’s right, folks, I have annoyed y’all with my writings, musings and atrocities in this corner THREE HUNDRED TIMES. Instead of writing some big recap, (since yesterday’s was sort of a collection of my least proud moments anyway, and what’s better than that?), we’re going to play a game.

It’s called:

Guess WTF Is Going On In This Video Footage From Our Trip to NYC.

I’d explain the rules, but… yeah.

The prize for guessing correctly, you may ask? Well, you have your choice. I will take a picture OR make a video using only your direction- have me dress like an idiot, serenade you, try to dance to a hip hop song- and I will send it your way to post as you see fit. The only thing I ask is that we leave the whole nudity thing out of it, as I know someone in my home who would probably not approve.

(The kittens, of course. They don’t need to see their mama whoring it up.)

All right, chillens… and awayyyyyyy we go!

(Youtube link here.)

Have at it!

Update: I’ll give y’all a hint for bonus points… there is a movie playing in the background. If anyone can guess what it is along with what’s happening, you win HARDCORE.

Second Update: Whoever gets the most specific (correctly), first, will win. Woot!

Final Update: Winner will be announced Friday!

Mama said share.

(A real recap may or may not be coming tomorrow. Today, my liver has locked me in a hellish and headachey prison of my own making, due to two straight weeks of complete and utter debauchery. Therefore, today’s post will be short, sweet, and visual… but magnificent, nonetheless.)

So you may recall a few weekends ago when I discovered the amazingness that is Stephen Colbert’s music video from the cobwebs of 1986. If not, I will grace it with your presence now (watch carefully. This is vewwy important…)

The sweet ass dance moves, the “Friends fist bump FU,” the hair-band hair, the GUYLINER… it is GOLD, pure gold. Of course I had to show it to my dancing partner in crime, Maxie, and obviously her heart ached with a fiery, burning love for it just as mine did. So much so, in fact, that upon our arrival to the Big Apple on Saturday, the first thing we did was break it down to Mr. Colbert’s original creation of audible wonderment.

As you will see, we took our mission very seriously. Our camera woman, Lemmonex, did NOT, as you will be able to tell from her unsolicited laughtrack… although apparently we did make her “wet,” which is basically our goal at all times with all things we do.

Without further ado, please enjoy our rendition of “Charlene (I’m Right Behind You.)” Um, also, please make it through to the end for our version of his ‘dancing.’ You won’t be sorry.

(Youtube link here, if it’s choppy.)

Mr. Colbert, I hope we did your performance even the teensiest bit of justice, but I suspect our obvious unadulterated adoration might make up for what we lack in talent.

We’re here all week, people. In fact, we’re here all life. It’s what we do.

(Sidenote: I do just have to say that meeting my darling Cavy this weekend- i.e. drinking heavily, bootay dancing, and being spooned by her all night- exceeded even my highest expectations. Prepare to endure many more humpings in the future, my dear. You are officially on my list of People to Smother With Love, Tenderness, and Karaoke Serenadings. You freaking rawk.

As for the rest of you hookers, Lemmonex, Deutlich, and Maxie… I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you, and I have *definitely* never had that much fun during 8 hours in the CAR, nevermind the rest of the time. I love you, girls. Truly, I do. Wherever we’re heading next better put their big-girl panties on in anticipation…)

Mama said share.