***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!

Steal this button and put it in your post just by copying and pasting the html code in the box below, or just link back to the hub with this link, so your readers can read ALLLLLLL the TMI glory, and I’ll make sure to link to you.***

<a href="http://www.livitluvit.com/category/tmi-thursday" target="_blank"><img src="http://i556.photobucket.com/albums/ss5/Livitluvit/tmithursday.jpg" border="0" alt="TMI Thursday" /></a>

Now get ready, my darlings, for the ever popular, yet gravely feared, TMI THURSDAYS…

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So. You perhaps may remember that I went to visit my GBF Thomas in NYC a few months ago.

I did not blog this then, because I thought perhaps I’d gotten away with it and he hadn’t seen me. Win!

Except, then I went out to LA to surprise him for his birthday.

And, over a perfectly drunken brunch, it was disclosed to me that he had totally seen me, and possibly even (lovingly) mocked me, and, well, ain’t no point in keeping it under wraps anymore!

The scene:

We started out drinking tall boy PBRs in the Village at, oh, noon? We moved from bar to bar to Five Guys to his apartment for a boozy Rachel Zoe marathon to bar to club to bar, drinking all the while.

Little known fact about me: I am old. No, seriously. I may love to drink with friends, but we have to start EARLY because I inevitably crash at 11pm. Not kidding. My body just goes all, BEDTIME!!!! ZOMG WHY ARE YOU VERTICAL RIGHT NOW?!? FIND A CAB IMMEDIATELY AND GET US OUT OF HEEEERE!!!!

Also? I can no longer take shots. At all. Even a little. (Maxie, for the love of the 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus, please accept this statement. I am begging you.)

ANYHOO. It’s now 2:30am and my soul is dying slowly as Thomas drags me into yet another fabulous gay bar. At this point, I may love him dearly, but we’ve been drinking for 3,214 hours and BED. GIVE IT TO ME NOW. IN THE FACE.

We pull up to the bar and I hear my darling dear say,

“Two beers… and two shots of tequila, please!”

My stinkiest of eyes did nothing to deter him and his desire to relive our nostalgic Chapel Thrill-tequila-drinking ways.

And I’m a fucking trooper, y’all. So I downed it.

But, you know how sometimes your body just flat out rejects the idea of something? You know… physically.

So it was like that, and that damn shot of tequila was sitting in my throat and I knew I had less than 30 seconds to decide WHERE to direct the imminent ejection.

My options were grim. The bar was wall to wall gay boys, with no possible passage to a probably occupied unisex bathroom. My beer was full, leaving no room for excess fluid and obviously, I was incapable of drinking any of it to make room. And, of course, there was the matter of discretion to consider.

With the clock ticking down (I’m like the Jack Bauer of puking), I covertly sloshed a fair amount of my beer onto a nearby counter, “took a sip”- AKA expelled the tequila impatiently resting in my gullet, and set what looked like a full beer once again on the counter.

I can only hope no one mistook it for their own drink.

But, um… at least it was Patrón?

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Other awesomely bad TMIs this week…

Virgin alert! Chelsea Talks Smalk’s TMI Thursday; Strippers and such. Sorry Dad.

Cheddar’s TMI Thursday: Dating Tips

confessor69′s TMI Thursday: If Flubbery Isn’t a Word, It Should Be

The Solitary Panda’s Free Massage

Sebastian’s Harry Potter soundboard, with a hint of slash fan fiction

Living Wicked’s TMIThursday: A Hole Surprise

P’s TMI THURSDAY: THE ONE WITH THE NOTE . . .

Adam L’s TMI Thursday: The Joys of Running Part II: The Fire Between Your Legs

Beverly’s TMI Thursday: How I Dented My Derriere

Just Linda’s I like YOU, Internet, because YOU know I’m just joking…

Sean’s TMI Thursday: Winter-1 Sean-0

Another virgin! grilledcheeseandketchup’s TMI Thurday #1: Ireland

MiMi’s Did you know…TMI edition

Dani’s TMI Thursday: hey lady, your vanilla is showing…

Lisa’s TMI Thursday: Taking a Break from the Serious

Lucy’s TMI Thursday: The Mistress

Heather’s TMI Thursdays: The Thong Song

Jeney’s TMI Thursday: One Girl, One Cup (Not like you would think…)

ClevelandPoet’s TMI THURSDAY: When coughs attack

Agy Talks’ TMI Thursday: Deperate Guys looking for Girls

Jane Marie’s TMI Thursday: Things no one tells you about labor and delivery.

Vixations’ TMI QUESTION TIME!

City Girl’s My PSA: Buy the Turbo 8

amber murphy’s TMI Thursday: in which i won’t tell you about that.

ClaireMontgomeryMD’s tmi thursday: fecal matter kills

Simply “T”s TMI Thursday: Twins, Basil. Twins.

Dominick Bonny’s TMI Thursday: The tale of the tesicle

Today, I’m off to see my GBF from college I have seen ONCE since we gradumated in ot six. He lives in West Hollywood, but is in NYC because his company is shooting a movie and he’s a baller like that.

To say I am a wee bit excited would be the understatement of the year.

Tommy, I lub your face and I can’t wait to have another man fondle my boobs for the first time in over a year. B already gave you clearance.

SEE YOU IN SIX HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I’ll be on the ‘berry, so if you’re in the area, shoot me a tweet or an email! Woot!

(Did you get to ask B a question yesterday? About me, us, his balls, footballs- anything! Just head this way…you have til Fri-dee!)

So, today is sort of a little somethin… it’s my 300th post. That’s right, folks, I have annoyed y’all with my writings, musings and atrocities in this corner THREE HUNDRED TIMES. Instead of writing some big recap, (since yesterday’s was sort of a collection of my least proud moments anyway, and what’s better than that?), we’re going to play a game.

It’s called:

Guess WTF Is Going On In This Video Footage From Our Trip to NYC.

I’d explain the rules, but… yeah.

The prize for guessing correctly, you may ask? Well, you have your choice. I will take a picture OR make a video using only your direction- have me dress like an idiot, serenade you, try to dance to a hip hop song- and I will send it your way to post as you see fit. The only thing I ask is that we leave the whole nudity thing out of it, as I know someone in my home who would probably not approve.

(The kittens, of course. They don’t need to see their mama whoring it up.)

All right, chillens… and awayyyyyyy we go!

(Youtube link here.)

Have at it!

Update: I’ll give y’all a hint for bonus points… there is a movie playing in the background. If anyone can guess what it is along with what’s happening, you win HARDCORE.

Second Update: Whoever gets the most specific (correctly), first, will win. Woot!

Final Update: Winner will be announced Friday!

(A real recap may or may not be coming tomorrow. Today, my liver has locked me in a hellish and headachey prison of my own making, due to two straight weeks of complete and utter debauchery. Therefore, today’s post will be short, sweet, and visual… but magnificent, nonetheless.)

So you may recall a few weekends ago when I discovered the amazingness that is Stephen Colbert’s music video from the cobwebs of 1986. If not, I will grace it with your presence now (watch carefully. This is vewwy important…)

The sweet ass dance moves, the “Friends fist bump FU,” the hair-band hair, the GUYLINER… it is GOLD, pure gold. Of course I had to show it to my dancing partner in crime, Maxie, and obviously her heart ached with a fiery, burning love for it just as mine did. So much so, in fact, that upon our arrival to the Big Apple on Saturday, the first thing we did was break it down to Mr. Colbert’s original creation of audible wonderment.

As you will see, we took our mission very seriously. Our camera woman, Lemmonex, did NOT, as you will be able to tell from her unsolicited laughtrack… although apparently we did make her “wet,” which is basically our goal at all times with all things we do.

Without further ado, please enjoy our rendition of “Charlene (I’m Right Behind You.)” Um, also, please make it through to the end for our version of his ‘dancing.’ You won’t be sorry.

(Youtube link here, if it’s choppy.)

Mr. Colbert, I hope we did your performance even the teensiest bit of justice, but I suspect our obvious unadulterated adoration might make up for what we lack in talent.

We’re here all week, people. In fact, we’re here all life. It’s what we do.

(Sidenote: I do just have to say that meeting my darling Cavy this weekend- i.e. drinking heavily, bootay dancing, and being spooned by her all night- exceeded even my highest expectations. Prepare to endure many more humpings in the future, my dear. You are officially on my list of People to Smother With Love, Tenderness, and Karaoke Serenadings. You freaking rawk.

As for the rest of you hookers, Lemmonex, Deutlich, and Maxie… I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you, and I have *definitely* never had that much fun during 8 hours in the CAR, nevermind the rest of the time. I love you, girls. Truly, I do. Wherever we’re heading next better put their big-girl panties on in anticipation…)