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And now back to our regular programming…

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Growing up, I spent my high school years working in a TGI Friday’s in Suburbia, Massachusetts.

I am a complete an utter cornball, but… they were some of the best years of my life.

The friends I made while working there are the ones I see when I go back home. They’re the ones I call when life falls to pieces around me, or when something so amazing happens I have to share it with the world (cough cough MTV cough). Being older than I, they taught me about the facts of life in ALL capacities, and more importantly, snuck me into bars underage watched over me like big brothers and sisters.

There is quite literally NOTHING like working in a restaurant. The, ahem, environment there is unlike any place on earth. You know that movie “Waiting“? … Let’s just say it’s like that, times a thousand.

(And if you haven’t seen it, please people, take this very, very important message away…

Don’t fuck with the people who handle your food!!!!!!!!!!)

Anyhoo.

You BOND with these people in a way you never knew was possible. I imagine it’s kind of like going to war. A very pussified war, to be sure, but you know what I mean… you’re in it together, no matter what the jagoffs (be it customer, manager or cook) throw your way.

And how do you get through it, day after day? JOKES. Jokes, my friend… with a healthy dose of (friendly) sexual harrassment.

One of our running themes was the theory of The Three Types of Dude. It goes like this…

The overall personality of a guy falls into one of three categories:

1. Panache: a grand or strikingly bold manner; showy; conspicuously dashing.
2. Mojo: charisma; sex appeal; personal magnetism.
3. Je ne sais quoi: having that certain “I don’t know what”… but damn if it ain’t good.

Now, a guy can certainly overlap a bit. He can be “mostly mojo, with just a hint of panache,” or “je ne sais quoi, with a streak of mojo.” But in general, nearly every (sexy) man on the planet can be clearly identified as predominantly having one of the three characteristics.

Let me show you it.

Josh Holloway

Mojo. Pure, unadulterated mojo. I think this is true of most hot Southern boys…

Ryan Reynolds

Super panache. Panache coming out his pores. Panache for DAYS.

Will Smith

An unlikely half and half mix of panache and mojo.
Oh, how our Fresh Prince has grown!

Don Dra- I mean, John Hamm

A purebred of je ne sais quoi. He needs nothing else to get the job done.
(The job being our panties = creamed.)

Alexander Skarsgard

Mojo, mojo, and more mojo. Pure goddamn MOJO… with a sneaky hint of panache when he wants to throw it in there.
(Tyra must have taught him how to smile with his eyes.)

Taye Diggs

Mojo with a side dish of je ne sais quoi.
How can you be that sexy AND that sweet??

Brad Pitt

Panache… with a very healthy dose of mojo. Wink for us, baby.

The Cloon

Oh, George. You are truly the ultimate in je ne sais quoi, but truth be told…
you have it all.

Sigh. Well, I just made MY Thursday better, anyway.

Who am I missing, and what would they be?

Also, gentleman: I challenge you to come up with a similar system for the ladies. Would it just be “cute, sexy, pretty”? You can do better than that…

Update! My friend Emil has risen to the challenge… what do you think, ladies?? Did he get us?

***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!

Steal this button and put it in your post just by copying and pasting the html code in the box below, or just link back to the hub with this link, so your readers can read ALLLLLLL the TMI glory, and I’ll make sure to link to you.***

<a href="http://www.livitluvit.com/category/tmi-thursday" target="_blank"><img src="http://i556.photobucket.com/albums/ss5/Livitluvit/tmithursday.jpg" border="0" alt="TMI Thursday" /></a>

Now get ready, my darlings, for the ever popular, yet gravely feared, TMI THURSDAYS…

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Last weekend, B and a friend headed to the Leesburg outlets while I met the girls for brunch.

“Buy me something!” I yelled, as I left our apartment in search of bacon and champagne.

I know. I’m subtle like that.

A few hours later, we reconvened at home, where the proud little five year old in him showed me his shiny new toys; a lovely suit, a new tie, etc. And then…

“I got you something too!” He beamed, and tossed a bag onto the bed. I scampered over and tore it open, to find what seemed to be a pair of running shorts.

“Oh, thanks babe! You remembered I need new running stuff!” I shook them open and held them up to see what they were like.

And quickly realized that something was wrong. Very, very wrong. As in, too-much-material and no-leg-holes wrong.

“Um… did you just buy me a skort?” I asked accusingly, and immediately twittered.

It turned out to not be a skort, but a “running skirt” with underoo netting, which my running pro friend Kbo assured me was all the rage now in Charleston. So I packed it up the next morning, intending to give it a try at my lunch hour workout.

Noon rolled around and I begrudgingly headed down to the gym. I suited up in my workout attire, skirt and all.

It was (bulky) fuscia with running stripes… and I looked absolutely ridiculous.

But when has that ever stopped me from anything before?

Now, I’ve worked out enough where I know you’re better off using the restroom beforehand, rather than experiencing the need during. So, I popped into a stall, and delighted with the easy-access design of the skirt for the first time, I whipped it up, and, ahem, began to, ah,well… tinkle, if you will.

(Most of you probably won’t.)

Immediately, I felt that something was very, very wrong. And also my thighs were  kind of hot. And not in a good way.

I looked down, and realized that while the skirt did indeed flip up easily for accessibility…

The underwear netting beneath it certainly did not.

Awk.

Ward.

Sigh. All I can say is, if anyone asks me when the last time I peed my pants was, I’m totally going to lie… because I was NOT wearing pants. I was wearing a goddamn running skort that can go get the freaking swine flu, for all I care.

So THERE!

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Were you expecting a “Post Secret” TMI Thursday? Well, I need more entries! You can use the top secret anonymous email account to send it in (Gmail, username tmithursday, password tmit1234), and send them to me at heylivitluvit at gmail dot com. I suggest the free photo editing website Fotoflexer to make it super duper easy.

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Other awesomely bad TMIs this week…

That Kind of Girl’s TKOG Who <3s sluts and hula hoops (TMI Thursday!)

LivingWicked’s TMIThursday: Eye Will Try Anything … Once.

spleen’s The ass is out of the bag. (TMI Thursday)

P’s TMI THURSDAY : AND THIS WEEK, TMI STANDS FOR . . .

Carissa Jade’s TMI: Vlog- I love deers and peeing

Sebastian’s Penises are not as great as you might think

Griffin’s TMI Thursday: When my phone decides to become a Fish

Just Another Momma’s TMI Thursday – Out Of Which End?

shine’s TMI Thursday – No, but really…this happened.

Daffy’s TMI Thursday: Jose Cuervo and Cookies

Lucy’s TMI Thursday:This is so wrong and yet so funny!

Travis’ TMI Thursday: Yes, I Have Balls That Can Write…

saratogajean’s Usually this would CLEAR a room

Mary’s TMIT: Kitchen Mishap

Dani’s TMI Thursday: There are some shames that cannot be washed away by cheap beer…

Hillbilly Duhn’s TMI Thursday – Anything you can do I can do better!

Lisa’s TMI Thursday: Uterus in Revolt

lnicole’s TMI Thursdays: I Hate Showering

Tricia’s TMIT: Up Close and Personal

Carol’s TMI Thursday

Insomniac Lolita’s TMI Thursday : Can I Get a “Chivas”?

Jeff’s i am a highly trained computer technician

the iNDefatigable mjenks’ TMI Thursday: The Shaking of the Bed

ClevelandPoet’s Jimi’s pussy twofer or TMI Thursday

Ms.Terri’s Guess what, cigarette butt? Mr. Sister is here!

amber murphy’s TMI Thursday: peel the onion

Dual Mom’s TMI Thursday – Cougars On The Prowl

Joshua’s TMI Thursday: Full Of It

JewliaGoulia’s TMI Thursday – 1st Edition

Wendy’s TMI Thursday: I guess I’m just that approachable, even when naked from the waist down. Wait, that came out wrong.

the ikss’ tit for tat

lebombed1’s And she’s in charge of impressionable young minds…

For this “Shiz My Friends Say,” I will be highlighting the Gchats I’ve had recently with Miss Lemmonex and Miss (soon-to-be-Mrs.) Maxie. Mostly because we chat for 7.5 hours every work day, and when you have absolutely no lines you won’t cross, well… things get interesting. (Past SMFS here, past Shiz My Boyfriend Says here.)

Let me show you it.

me: On Friday 
   I am not leaving my couch for anything
   I’m going to set up a beer cooler and a bed pan
   Yell “It’s open!” to the delivery guy
   Not apologize for the lack of bra
   And just bask in it
Lexa: hahah
   please do
   you can twitter me and maxie
me: Oh I will
   I’ll twit pic the hell out of it
Lexa: just not the bed pan pls
me: Oh it’s gonna be there
    But I’ll try to keep it out of the pic
   Just for you
Lexa: thats friendship

Maxie: I can’t wait till you see my makeup
   My eyeliner is out of control
me: hahaha
   i haven’t shaved since wednesday morning
   my vag is out of control
   tmi?
Maxie: Haha never
   I cut my taint shaving last night
me: okay cavy

Lexa: my mom calls nipples ditters
   its weird
   i just thought of that
 me: HAHAHA
 Lexa: i remember being like 12
   when she said it
    i was wearing a white unitardy shirt
 me: it’s like a hoo-ha
 Lexa: lexa, i can see your ditters
 me: omg.
 Lexa: EWWW
 me: i just died. DIED.
 Lexa: i am loling
 me: hahahaha
 Lexa: dittterrrr
  AGH
 me: now i keep thinking of little mosquito bite nipples
   and then i feel like a pedophile
   THANKS LEX

Maxie: i just answered the phone and it was the governor
   random
 me: hahaha
 Maxie: i didn’t know they used phones
 me: i know
   don’t they have “people” for that
 Maxie: exactly
  he must be in the bathroom or something
 me: haha
  the kids don’t drop themselves off at the pool
  actually, he probably has people for that too
 Maxie: or he just gets a colonic every day
 me: exactly
  that way he doesn’t have to push
  and can play sudoku at the same time
 Maxie: i’d miss the pushing

me: http://steammeupkid.blogspot.com/2009/09/connecting-with-your-blog-readers-alt.html
  she is seriously one of my favorite funny bloggers
 Lexa: lemme look
   fuck you
   i loled
  you are gonna get my ass fired
 me: hahaha why
  oh
  “raped”
  right
 Lexa: ha
 me: details.

Happy Humpday, my lovelies. Consider this your public service announcement to not say “rape” at work.

Well, unless someone’s raping you.

Then I’m pretty sure it’s okay. You better check with HR.

Oh, Joaquin, your music career’s never going to take off with that image. (Right… THAT’S what’s stopping you in your hip-hop endeavor.)

Anyhoosits, I was of course entirely humiliated and wasted no time hacking the beaver’s dam off. (Gettit?) A shitty way to get there, but ultimately? Full of win.

Other awesomely bad TMI Thursdays…

Jill Pilgrim on mylittlebecky’s “Jill Pilgrim Will Grab Your Penis, And Other Truths About Life.” (tmit) by jill! eeee!

Living Wicked’s TMIThursday: Choose Your Own Adventure: Poo-ban Legend

Kylie’s My Very First TMI Thursday!

the iNDefatigable mjenks’ TMI Thursday: I Can Feel It, Coming in the Air at Night. Oh No.

*PinkNic*’s TMI Thursday: Who Let the Cows Out?

Stephanie’s TMI Thursday: Green Eggs and Ham? I don’t think so!

ikss’ i think the honeymoon is over

The Love Goddess’ TMI THURSDAYS: BUTT LOVE (NSFW)

Vittoria’s TMI Thursday: the Costa Rican Chronicles

Just A Girl’s TMI Thursday: The Time I DIDN’T Poop

The Demigoddess’ TMI Thursdays: Why Pubic Hair is Evil and My Awesomely Scandalous SMS Ringtone

Taylor’s TMI Thursday: I’m Still A Lady

BigSis’ TMI Thursday: The Grand Canyon, huh?

Witchypoo on Kelley’s Guest Biatch: Witchypoo – Arseholey Naming Conventions

Spleen’s TMI Thursday: I fell asleep while writing. And then sold the notes.

Mb’s “This shit’s so crazy, I couldn’t even make it up.”

Maxie’s TMI Thursday: This is too horrible for a title <— WARNING: WORST TMIT EVER. LIKE, OFFICIALLY AND SHIT.

Sean’s TMI Thursday: Back to Basics

GingerMandy’s TMI Thursday: I am not a hooker.

justjp’s Never trust a sheep farmer

Lil’ Woman’s She Knows Me To Well…

ClaireMontgomeryMD’s tmi thursday: asked and answered

shine’s TMI Thursday – Gas Pump Fail

Jimmy’s A Roll Of The Dice

Floreta’s TMI Thursday: Vlog Edition

Zan’s A TMI Thursday Two-fer

EricaNicole’s TMI Thursday: Party hearty girl!

shine’s TMI Thursday – In which I accidentally walked in on a donkey show.

Ms. Terri’s My First “TMI” Thursday Post, aka Even the “curable” ones are never really *gone*

Jill Pilgrim’s Its A TMIT Treasure Hunt, A Very Awkward Treasure Hunt

Jeney’s TMI Thursday – Exposing Myself

Lucy’s POSSESSED! That’s my Defense!!!

bing’s TMI Thursday: Marilyn’s golden shower

verybadcat’s TMI Thursday: Don’t Stand So Close To Me

jeluttrull’s TMI Thursday: Vaginal Cream Works for Anything…

Hillbilly Princess’ TMI Thursday–Something To Be Proud Of

And a lovely TMI quote from The Maiden Metallurgist, who is letting me publish this against her will because all things TMIT-y make her squeamish:

“There is absolutely no way that you can tell a group of old-man steel workers that you have to stop what you are all doing RIGHT NOW, right this second so you can run and change your tampon.”

So very, VERY true.

(Originally posted as a guest post for a 20SB Blog Swap Day…)

Well, hello there! It’s 20SB BLOG SWAP DAY! Which is why you’re stuck here, reading me, LiLu of Livit, Luvit. But don’t worry, I plan on keeping y’all entertained.

You see, I have a little problem I’d like to share with y’all.

My darling and ever-patient boyfriend, B, and I have been very happy since we met last June, fell insanely in love in about two weeks, and were living together by the end of August in downtown Washington, DC. (I actually wrote about the night we met the day after it happened, which is kind of cool now looking back, if you want to read it here.)

Were (are) we crazy? Most definitely.

Has it been anything short of perfect? Absolutely not.

Okay, then, now we’re all up to speed. Glad to meetcha!

[pic]

Blissfully happy, right? Cutish, and all that? Sure. Whatevs. Not the point.

The point IS, while everything is basically hunky dory peach keen and all that, we do have one problem.

*Whispers*… You know… with THE SEX!!!

You see, my darling boy… well, he is a morning-sexer. He’s ready for a romp first thing in the morning NOMATTERWHAT. If we drank a bottle of tequila apiece the night before, it would not stop this man from trying to put his P in my V the very first moment he is conscious.

Which is flattering and all, it’s just, well…

NO.

My babymaker wants absolutely zero, as in NO PART OF a peen until she has had a few solid hours to adjust to the idea. In fact, she cannot imagine anything worse within the first hour of waking up (factoring in that I am mostly talking about the weekends here, which means I am usually HUNG over).

And I sympathize, I do… I understand that he usually wakes up, ahem, “ready to go”. (Gettit? GETTIT? I’m talking about MORNING WOOD! Tee hee!) But that doesn’t change the fact that Sexy Time generally, to me, sounds like the Worst Idea Ever In The Whole World until, oh, about noon. Then, all of a sudden, my mini-LiLu is all, “Hey, you know what’d be a good idea? That thing we do sometimes, you know, we’ll call it ‘dancing.’ Lemme get some of that.”

Which should be fine and dandy, right? Except by then, B has generally gotten into ESPNing or Xboxing and he’s all, “Whoa, where was this four hours ago? I’m not your sex monkey!” And I’m all “YES YOU ARE! Take off your pants!” But it’s too late and just like that, we’ve missed the precious window.

The Window of Sexin’.

Bet you didn’t see that coming.

So now we both watch the clock steadily on Saturdays and Sundays and joke about 12:30 as “the witching hour”…

If you text me round then on a weekend, you best be prepared to wait.

Cause, you know, we’re probably Having the Sex.

And now you know waaaay too much about us! Le awesome. So come over to my place, say, tomorrow for the infamous TMI Thursday, and share something about yourself!