Today, the 2010 Emmy nominations were announced.  This year was better than most, with “Friday Night Lights” at least being recognized for its outstanding cast (I am convinced that Tami and Eric Taylor are an actual married couple coaching football in Texas.  They are that good.)

The world's most perfect couple. Take note.

Some general thoughts:

While “Lost” may have been a life changing experience for you, I just haven’t gotten into it (yet).  At some lonely point in my life I’m sure I’ll devote a month to watching the entire series and then self-flagellate for ever daring to speak ill of “The Gospel According to J.J.”  Sorry, y’all. This is one hatch I’m just not going down.

Saturday Night Live should never receive an award for anything.  However, Betty White was nominated for her appearance on the show – I’ll allow it.

Likewise, “Two and A Half Men” should be immediately canceled and Charlie Sheen should be locked up so he can’t do any more damage. Oh, wait- isn’t that happening? Furthermore, I have a visceral dislike for anything on CBS.  However, I do enjoy their “CSI: Ghost Whisper – LA.”

While I wasn’t initially in love with “Treme” (I know it is unfair to compare it to the Wire, but it was somewhat underwhelming) some of the acting in the show was undeniably amazing. Bunk, I love you, man.

Also, if I saw the “Best Actor in a Comedy” noms five years ago they may have made sense.  Today, not so much.  I get it, Tony Shalhoub, Larry David and this Jim Parsons character are neurotic- it’s gotten old.  And let’s face facts, The Office is no longer funny (with the exception of Andy Bernard, and that’s partially because I hear the Tiger Song in my head every time he’s on screen).

I’ve never seen “The Good Wife.”  I don’t plan to.

Sidebar: Alec Baldwin, you are a golden god.

DRAMA SERIES

“Breaking Bad” (AMC)
“Dexter” (Showtime)
“The Good Wife” (CBS) – Friday Night Lights (FX)
“Lost” (ABC)
“Mad Men” (AMC)
“True Blood” (HBO)

COMEDY SERIES
“Curb Your Enthusiasm” (HBO) – Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX)
“Glee” (Fox)
“Modern Family” (ABC)
“Nurse Jackie” (Showtime) – Party Down (Starz)
“The Office” (NBC) – Parks & Recreation (NBC)
“30 Rock” (NBC)

ACTOR IN A COMEDY

Jim Parsons – “Big Bang Theory” — Charlie Day (Charlie)“Always Sunny in Philadelphia)
Larry David – “Curb Your Enthusiasm” — Adam Scott (Henry)“Party Down”
Matthew Morrison – “Glee” – Danny McBride (Kenny ‘Fuckin’ Powers) “Eastbound & Down”
Tony Shalhoub – “Monk” — Joel McHale (Jeff Winger) “Community”
Steve Carell – “The Office” — David Dukovny (Hank Moody) “Californication”
Alec Baldwin – “30 Rock”

ACTOR IN A DRAMA

Bryan Cranston – “Breaking Bad”
Michael C. Hall – “Dexter”
Kyle Chandler – “Friday Night Lights”
Hugh Laurie – “House” — Ron Pearlman “Sons of Anarchy”
Matthew Fox – “Lost” — Clarke Peters (Albert Lambreaux) “Treme”
Jon Hamm – “Mad Men”

(This one’s a tie. Kyle has my head but Jon has my loins, I mean heart.)

ACTRESS IN A COMEDY

Lea Michele – “Glee”
Julia Louis-Dreyfus – “Old Christine” – Insert anyone but her. The glory days, they are behind you.
Edie Falco – “Nurse Jackie”
Amy Poehler – “Parks And Recreation”
Tina Fey – “30 Rock”
Toni Collette – “United States Of Tara”

ACTRESS IN A DRAMA

Kyra Sedgwick – “The Closer” – Katey Sagal (Gemma Teller) “Sons of Anarchy”
Glenn Close – “Damages”
Connie Britton – “Friday Night Lights”
Julianna Margulies – “The Good Wife” – Melissa Leo (Toni Bernette)“Treme”
Mariska Hargitay – “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” – Khandi Alexander “Treme”
January Jones – “Mad Men” –  Elizabeth Moss (Peggy) “Mad Men”

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY

Chris Colfer – “Glee”
Neil Patrick Harris – “How I Met Your Mother”
Jesse Tyler Ferguson – “Modern Family”
Eric Stonestreet – “Modern Family”
Ty Burrell – “Modern Family”

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA

Aaron Paul – “Breaking Bad”
Martin Short – “Damages” – Alexander Skarsgard “True Blood” (Oh god YES)
Terry O’Quinn – “Lost” – Walton Goggins (Boyd) “Justified”
Michael Emerson – “Lost” – John Noble (Walter) “Fringe”
John Slattery – “Mad Men”
Andre Braugher – “Men Of A Certain Age” — Zach Gilford (Matt Saracen) “Friday Night Lights”

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY

Jane Lynch – “Glee”
Julie Bowen – “Modern Family”
Sofia Vergara – “Modern Family”
Kristen Wiig – “Saturday Night Live” – SNL must never win an award.
Jane Krakowski – “30 Rock”
Holland Taylor – “Two And A Half Men” – (Charlie Sheen and that stupid fat kid embody everything that is wrong with America)

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA

Sharon Gless – “Burn Notice”
Rose Byrne – “Damages” – Kim Dickens (Jeanette Desautel) “Treme”
Archie Panjabi – “The Good Wife”
Christine Baranski – “The Good Wife”
Christina Hendricks – “Mad Men”
Elisabeth Moss – “Mad Men”

VARIETY, MUSIC, OR COMEDY SERIES

“The Colbert Report” (Comedy Central)
“The Daily Show With Jon Stewart” (Comedy Central)
“Real Time With Bill Maher” (HBO)
“Saturday Night Live” (NBC) – Anything but SNL
“The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC) – just to stick it to Leno, that dick.






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Mama said share.

You, um, may notice something new about my page. Namely, that freaky countdown at the top right, where my dorky little face used to be.

That’s right, folks. I am THAT excited for the new season of True Blood. Judge if you must.

But when HBO announced they were coming out with a vampire show, no one was more skeptical than I.

(Which is odd, considering how obsessed I was with Christopher Pike’s “The Last Vampire” series as a tween.)

But it just seemed so cliche, what with the craziness surrounding the oh-so-immature Twilight series and movies. (Not that they aren’t enjoyable- I like some bloody teenager angst as much as the next person. But come on… no one actually thinks it’s a quality production, right?)

And I get it. Eternal life, the undead, remarkable power, the stories we’ve grown up with… no matter who you are, the teeniest part of your soul HAS to think, “Well… these myths must have come from somewhere…” Vampire stories hold for us an incredible combination of fear and lust; the allure is not so hard to understand, really.

But still, I was skeptical.

And then I saw the opening credits.

And skeptical became intrigued.

Frankly, I’ve never seen such a deliciously haunting introduction… I’ve never quite so much enjoyed the sensation of my skin crawling.

And so I thought, “Blood, sex, and HBO, huh? This might be worth a shot.”

And it is fucking SEXY.

The lead actor, Stephen Moyer, is freaking goddamn amazing. In fact, they ALL are. There is not a single character that annoys me; I am constantly re-deciding who my favorite is. There is raw and honest homosexuality, a powerful portrayal of bigotry that could mirror any issue we struggle with today, and Jimmy James. There is the loss of innocence, of virginity, and of morality.

Most of all, there is love that, as Richard The Seeker would say, “transcends all barriers.” (It’s less corny if he says it and not me. No? Shuttup.)

My point is, don’t write this show off in your mind by associating it with Twilight.

These vampires don’t fucking glitter.

(And after all, these are the people who brought us Kenny Powers, no?)

June 14th… who’s bringing the popcorn?

Extra garlic, please.

Mama said share.

Last night the lovely PQ asked, “How was your weekend?”

Simple question, right?

And seeing as it was a three day weekend for me, it should have been freaking marvelous. Instead, it was a goddamn (Easter’s over, right? I can say that now? HA- like I ever stopped! Got you!) roller coaster ride. A glass case of emotion, if you will.

Poor Baxter. This is why we don’t throw burritos out of moving vehicles, people.

B and I spent a deliciously lazy Friday on the couch = wonderful…

Until my brand new computer got the mother effing Conficker worm, because SOMEONE (me) was too lazy to download some FREE freaking antivirus software when she got it a week ago. SOMEONE ELSE (me) also decided to ignore Windows when it tried to “update” said computer, which would probably have prevented the worm as well since Microsoft has known about it for six months. But nooooo, SOMEONE (me) is a freaking idiot and decided not to do any of that and so spent hours downloading the “fix-it” program to her old, barely-working laptop, which she then put on a memory stick, which she THEN had to transfer to the new….

Okay, boring. But you get the point. Lots of owie and anguish for both my head… and my heart. My new computer is my baby and it took me one week to poison her.

I should definitely have kids. Or maybe a plant.

Despite that, we had an a-maz-ing Friday Happy Hour that night (best group ever- you guys seriously rock, and thanks for coming!!!) and my boobs looked great. Who said that? Well, they did.

So that was le awesome, until the next morning when I woke up at 5 am. For the third morning in a row. For reals, peops, this insomnia shiz is killing me. In three days I had a total of like ten hours of sleep. All Saturday I tried to nap, but I’ve never been much of a napper, even with booze, I mean relaxation to help me out.

That evening, B and I attended a fan-fucking-tastic Easter dinner (on Saturday, because we make the rules around here, baby Jesus) with Lemmonex, her Cindarella, and a gaggle of gay men that made my heart warm. I had a blast, but unfortunately I was a freaking zombie on account of NEVER SLEEPING (wait, maybe I’m a vampire? HAWT) and if I was entertaining at all it’s probably because I fell asleep facefirst into the dill butter.

That’s what she said.

That night, I chugged half a bottle of Nyquil and slept like a baby until 10am. So Sunday should have been blissful, right? I was all reborn and shit after that, just like Jeebus.

(*Honk honk*- that’s the bus to hell. I’m driving it.)

I was feeling so damn spiffy I decided to finally do my taxes. And I was feeling all proactive and good about myself (SHUT UP, LAST YEAR I DID THEM ON APRIL 15TH), that is, until I finished.

And owed Uncle Sam $1,000 pieces of my soul.

Or dollars. Either way, NOT GOOD.

So after I cried and attempted to sell my everlasting soul to the devil (for the nineteenth time- he’s not having it anymore), I made an appointment at H&R today and tried to wash away the pain with large doses of cheap champagne.

Also, I did this. Which is probably the thing I am the most proud of accomplishing in the past six months.

Maybe I should work harder at my real job.

Finally, this was my second Sunday with no Eastbound and Down, and even though BWP and I still shout our declarations of love at him on Twitter on the reg, it’s just not the same. I miss you, Kenny. *throws panties* And I would take a shitload of Valtrex for you.

What?

Sigh. At least a fantabulous trip to Charleston is on the horizon. Kbo, please to have a KEG of Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka waiting for me at the airport on Thursday. Kthxbai.

Mama said share.