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While watching Project Runway last night, I couldn’t help but admire Heidi Klum for the zillionth time. She’s just drop dead gorgeous – and without being scary skinny. (The gossip mags have shown her working out all over NYC lately – lady? It’s paying off.)

Her career is off the charts, even as she’s creeping up on her 40s – and it ain’t easy for a model to make the transition off the runway to something else lucrative and not sad or trivial. Her kids are impossibly adorable, and she and Seal seem to be one of the few celebrity couples who have a truly healthy marriage – and are still nuts about each other to boot.

Well, aren't you two just vomitously cute?

And the worst part is: she’s so darn sweet that jealous as I am, I can’t even hate her. In fact, I utterly adore her.

WTF, Klum?

(Disclaimer: I’m in no way saying these are the things (career, love, kids) that every person should want. But as they seem to be what she wanted, I think it’s fair to say she has an exceptionally well-rounded life, and has successfully managed the balance between career and family, which I think we can agree is award-worthy all on its own.)

Anyway! I was thinking of all this… but then I checked myself before I wrecked myself, because my eyes are a lovely green, but my ‘tude doesn’t need to match them. And more importantly, I remembered this little nugget: nothing’s ever as perfect as it seems. I’m sure there are certain aspects Heidi hates about her job, something that Seal constantly does that drive her nuts, mundane or annoying things she wishes she could change about her day to day life.

And it occurred to me that I might even seem the same way, were someone looking in through the windowpane into the sunshiney breakfast nook area of my own life. Since landing the job I worked so hard for in January, things have certainly fallen into place in a way they never have before. I have the career, the incredible friends, the lover, and the kids (even if they are four-legged). Sure, I’m not a world famous or fabulously rich supermodel… but at the end of the day, my biggest problem is the 10 pounds I’d kill to lose and how to manage my hair in this disgusting DC summer humidity. It’s a good place to be, to put it mildly.

And even now, I sit here, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

How effed is that? Finally everything falls into place, so I sit here, poised, preparing for the next valley to follow this peak. Rather than sitting back and enjoying everything I’ve made for myself, I’m counting down the minutes until something horrible happens. I know it’s crazy, and probably more than a little unhealthy, but I can’t help it.

Do you do this? Does Heidi? How do you shut your brain up and make it smell the f#^%*#@ing roses?

Mama said share.

Daniel “Diggy” Simmons… is cooler than you.

Look, I mean that in the best way possible. He probably wouldn’t even want me to say that, that’s how cool he is. But you’ve just gotta face facts.

His sneaker line comes out in a month. He dresses better than anyone I know. His second mixtape, ‘Airborne’, drops on July 29th. He’s already been nominated for MTV’s “Hottest Breakthrough MC of 2010″ for his first and other works. Works supported by the likes of Kanye and Nas.

And he’s 15 years old.

picture: @diggy_simmons's twitter background

And believe me, after talking to him for just ten minutes, it doesn’t have anything to do with his father’s success, other than the fact that he was raised in a musical environment and supported by his family to become the driven, friendly, humble, gracious, and ambitious person that he is.

Diggy’s got “it”… you know what I mean. That thing where you just know that someone will be able to accomplish whatever they want to in life, and they’re going to make you love them while they do it.

I’ve transcribed the interview here for those of you reading at work, etc., but try to listen to the audio if you can. Writing can’t capture this kid’s personality.

Okay, y’all, bear with me at the beginning… YES I WAS NERVOUS. Jerks.

L: As a blogger and prospective Twitter Jockey for MTV, one of my favorite things about you is definitely how engaged you are with your fans on the internet. And I hear you’re pretty tight with Justin Bieber, who’s also really active online. What do you think about the way social media now allows artists to connect with their public?

D: I think it’s great, because a lot of the time, I mean, you look at- shoot- years back, the only real source for even hip hop, was just like, allhiphop.com, and now you’ve got all these blogs and ways to get involved you know, as the news occurs. Before it was just radio, which is hard, and now with Facebook, Twitter- you can be like your own publisher.

L: Absolutely, and you can have a real conversation with your fans, actually talk to them.

Oh yeah, I answer and tweet back my fans, DM them, and different things, so I think it’s great, especially when I can interact with the people that go hard for me. It’s mind-boggling to me that somebody like, takes out their day, for me. So it’s great.

L: The very first thing Twitter said when I told them I was interviewing you was: “Ask him about fashion!” You’ve become something of a style icon, and your posts about fashion on your blog are so inspiring. I know you’ve started your own sneaker line, “Chivalrous Culture”, releasing the first shoes this fall, is that right?

D: Yes, the shoes are coming out this fall, like around August/September- it’s going great.

L: So what’s your next move in the fashion world?

D: I wouldn’t mind doing some collaborations, you know, with different brands that I like. And obviously, one day, you know I already have it in mind- I’m always thinking- a clothing brand I’d like to do of mine.

L: And I can’t wait to see it. So, I read that you used Garage Band and a MacBook to produce your first tracks, which I LOVE, and you’ve said in an interview that you want fans to recognize you for your lyrics, rather than mistaking you for a “bubblegum, kiddie-bop” rapper. It seems like you really know what’s important to you as an artist- there’s no tricks, just a real person with real talent. Where does that confidence, that drive, come from?

D: I mean, I don’t know, a lot of people always ask “What is that ambition, what is it in you that’s made you always know what you wanted to do?” I mean, I don’t know. I think it’s just something that me just being young- from sketching when I was like, in the third grade, to having a sneaker line now, you know, always knowing what I wanted and what was the intention.

L: Speaking of that drive, your second mixtape, ‘Airborne’ is going to drop on July 29, 2010. How has it evolved from your first one, ‘The First Flight’? What’s different? [Get a taste of 'Airborne' here.]

D: All across the board. Lyrically, the production- it’s just bigger, it’s very album-esque.

(Aaaand my TWO cameras somehow both cut out for a minute, so make sure you go give it a listen. You won’t be sorry.)

L: You’re one of MTV’s candidates for “Hottest Breakthrough MC of 2010″. You’ve been around the music industry all your life, but only in it yourself less than a year- this be quite a ride. How did you feel when you first heard that?

D: When I first heard it… I was in the car on my way to a photo shoot, and I saw it, you know, the other names pop up, and I’m just happy to be next to these dudes that have been on the grind, and, you know, shoot- it’s just been like, a happy year for me! And it’s great to be next to people who’ve been on the grind for years. It’s only been half a year- you know, the grind- so I’ve been going hard.

L: A lot of people recognize you, I’m sure, from Run’s House, and have preconceived notions about who you are, but through the internet you’ve had the opportunity to connect with them about your point of view on all different issues- music, fashion, pop culture- and you know, has that allowed you to say, “Hey, I’m not just that 10 year old kid from a TV show, I’ve got my own identity.” How has that allowed you to separate yourself from your family, and your brother, who I’m sure you’ve been compared to?

D: Of course it’s harder, but that’s, you know, that’s something you do right here, in interviews, and through your music. You let people know, “Hey, this is just me, I’m here by myself, I’m grinding on my own.” And, you know, that’s just really how you let people know that- of course there’s gonna be the people that doubt you at first, cause there are tons of people that go, “Oh, he’s a rapper now?” Because of course there are a lot of people that are aspiring producers, and on every corner there’s an aspiring rapper, so of course to some people it must be annoying. But the people that have been supporting me, just, you know, thank you.

L: Press was buzzing after your Atlantic deal [for The First Flight] that [older brother] JoJo was jealous. We both know that’s crazy, there’s only love in the Simmons family. But is there a chance the two of you might collaborate in the future?

D: Oh, yeah, for sure. It could most definitely happen, I mean, we have done tracks a while ago that we probably wouldn’t put out, because I’ve progressed since, but, shoot, it could most definitely happen.

L: Maybe we could get the whole family in there?

D: [laughing] I don’t know about that, maybe on some ad libs or something!

Make sure to check out Diggy’s blog, Life of the Jet Setter, for sneak peeks at ‘Airborne’ as well as his fresh perspective on music, fashion and more.

You can follow him on twitter @diggy_simmons, and you can download his first mixtape, ‘The First Flight’, right here.

This kid’s going up fast… you don’t want to miss it.

Mama said share.

Last Friday, we had a little whine ‘n cheese party for a colleague who’s retiring. Which is nice and all, if you’re into forced smalltalk with a group of lawyers who constantly ask a) when you’re going to law school (never?); b) when you’re getting married; and c) what did you do last weekend so they can live vicariously through you.

But seeing as it was FRIDAY!!!!! and we’d been given permission to leave at 2 pm for the holiday weekend, I listened to the head honcho give his speech, bobbed my head knowingly at the appropriate moments, and then made like a tree back to my office cubicle wide open desk in the middle of a room where every single person can see my shit.

Hmm. I really need to stop looking at stuffonmycat.com.

Anyhoodle, I had work to finish, and hot damn if I was gonna be in the building even a minute after 2. (I am nothing if not a dedicated employee. …Dedicated to getting the fuck out of as soon as possible, that is.)

People were filtering in and out from the party while I worked, but I was as one-track-minded as a 13 year old boy watching Basic Instinct for the first time.

It was 1:53 and the clock was ticking down. Jack Bauer had nothing on me as I furiously printed, copied, emailed, and TPS-reported my way towards the deadline.

As I began the requisite preparations for my departure (starting with the change to flipflops under the desk, and working my way up to the more obvious “I’m OUTTAAAAAAAAAA HERE!!!!! turning off of the computer), my nostrils were very suddenly assaulted by an extremely pungent odor. The scent of a sweaty man’s gym socks punched me in the face, while an eau de Jersey Turnpike gave me a one-two uppercut to the nose.

Dazed and confused (FAH Q!), I quickly looked down at myself in horror. Was it even possible for a human being to smell that way?? I hadn’t worked out, I’d showered that morning, I have no history with any sort of BO (no, this does NOT count)… in fact, I’d NEVER smelled anything so horrible emanating from any living creature (well, other than kitten diarrhea) in my life.

Just as I was devising an emergency plan of action to get down to the office gym showers jump out the window out of pure mortification, I happened to glance over at the table to my right, aka our office’s “dumping ground” for all things edible, be it holiday treats, party leftovers, etc.

Sitting there, with those wavy lines in the air literally enamating from the source, was a plate of the moldiest, stinkiest cheese this side of the Atlantic.

(Gotta give the Frenchies their due. I’m sure they’ve come up with something smellier. But I never, ever want to meet it.)

After I wept tears of relief that I was not to be the new poster child for Smelly Kids Anonymous, I grabbed my bag and checked out a whopping five minutes early. I figured I’d earned it.

Though thankfully, there were no battle wounds odors to prove it.

Mama said share.

I had a bit of an adventure yesterday.

I met a new friend for a perfectly lovely lunch, and will hopefully be building a website for her campaign next month. (Speaking of which, did you see my sugarplum Jess’ awesome new online portfolio I made for her yet? Didja? DO IT! And then hire her!)

Anyhoo. While I am rocking my new healthy diet ‘n exercise lifestyle (blech), I couldn’t turn down the sample of homemade potato chips the bartender brought over for us. Trust me, it would have been a sin to waste those puppies.

About a half an hour after getting back to my desk, I was talking to a colleague when I started choking…

and felt my throat start to close up.

Now, I have never been allergic to a thing in my life. Maybe some sniffles in the Spring, but an actual hives/itching/choking sort of allergy? Never. So, I was a wee bit terrified.

We’re fortunate enough to have a clinic at my job, so when the half-closed throat sensation didn’t go away, I headed over.

After waiting for a half an hour and not dying, I decided perhaps I had developed a very sudden and severe case of strep, rather than a life-threatening allergy. A clearly inexperienced but very sweet nurse finally called me in and took my vitals.

“It’s a good thing you came in!” She said. “I’ve seen strep cases come on so suddenly.” She took blood pressure, temperature, felt my glands, peered down my throat and in my ears, but couldn’t see anything noticeably wrong, so she called in the wizened old nurse practitioner to give me a look.

“It’s just very strange,” I was saying. “I haven’t had strep in years, and I’ve never been allergic to a thing in my life!”

“Well, our bodies change, dear,” Inexperienced-Yet-Sweet Nurse patted my hand, as her veteran colleague entered the room. Without looking up from my folder, this was the first thing she said:

“So, did you have anything sharp at lunch today? Potato chips, perhaps?”

I blinked. “Um, I did, actually… OHHHHhhhhhhhhhh.” I began laughing as the truth sunk in.

“I cut myself on a potato chip, didn’t I?”

She peered down my throat.

“Looks that way. Here. Have a swig of Maalox and drink some fluids. I think you’ll pull through this one.”

Tail between my legs, I slunk out of the clinic and back to my desk, where I had to share my diagnosis with my colleague.

“Apparently, this whole “extreme workout” thing is getting out of hand. Even the way I EAT is extreme now… I don’t even chew!”

Sigh.

And now, to distract you from my idiocy, I give you…

Taylor Lautner looks like a llama.

Sorry, Maxie. But he really, really does.

 Happy Tuesday. Eat safely out there, kiddos… only you can prevent potato-chip throat injuries.

Mama said share.

Last week, I glanced at my wordpress dashboard and something caught my eye.

Posts: 493

Wait. What? That must be counting, like, 100 drafts, right??

Nope. It is true, my friends. Today marks the day I have poisoned the interwebs with my drivel Five. Hundred. Times.

After I got over the initial shock, it dawned on me that something clearly must to be done in order to celebrate this ridiculous and entirely self-asborbed milestone.

A BLOG ROAST!!!!!!!!!!

After all, I spend so much time on here making fun of MYSELF… let’s give you all a chance for once, eh?

So a few of my closest friends and bloggy cohorts have given us these Roasty Tidbits so we can have a big old laugh at all things LiLu.

Thank you so much, each and every one of you who wrote something below, all of you who comment around these parts, every last one of you who reads. This place has become one of my favorites in the world, and it’s truly all because of YOU.

Here’s to another (God help us) 500…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roast! Roast! Roast!

Let’s All Make Fun of LiLu!

(If only we had Christopher Walken to MC.)

Let’s kick it off…

brad:

“Things I know you know I know you know (aka FACTS):

I don’t like cats, but I’m cool with Axe Murderer and Murray. So, obviously, they’re not actually cats. And I’d appreciate it if you and B stopped with the lies and just admitted that you found a pair of growth-stunted dogs that are fluent in purring.

Don’t worry: you will never be a cat lady. But if I’m reading the Washington Post 10 years from now and see that you and B are basically the Angelina and Brad of growth-stunted-dogs-pawned-off-as-cats, traveling country to country, adopting animals with identity crises, let’s just say I won’t be surprised.

You dance like Forrest Gump with the leg braces on.

I don’t like food that has been seasoned with poop. But even though I ate at the housewarming when you fought the beast and were elbow deep in your toilet’s exit hole before you made the food, I never once thought about not going back. So either I’m a broken, broken man, or you are worth risking some surprise fiber in the chili.

Congratulations.”

Lexa:

“Lilu once made me go see Year One…where they eat feces. That is all.”

cavy:

“From bathroom humor, crazy boy stories, and a love of both alcohol and karaoke (preferably in combination with each other), I can honestly say that you are one of the most unique people I’ve ever encountered.  And by unique, I mean very similar to me.

In honor of your 500th, I’m placing this fantasy in your hands.  Use it well.”

Lizzy:

“In our year of friendship, Lilu has given me a lot. A vibrator. A virtual, and then real, shoulder to cry on. A badass new website. Hours of inappropriate laughter. So, I love her…but I’m going to have to expose her. You guys think she’s all funny funny cat lady with the cute boyfriend, but before that? Lilu was a FASHION blogger. (The crowd shudders) Yes, people. Go back to the archives. I dare you. Almost every post ended with some shoe porn. So I’m here to say, bring back the mother effing shoes, hooker.”

Moog:

“LiLu and B – so in love you always want to tell them to “GET A ROOM.” Then you realize that they actually DO have a room but it’s full of stupid fucking cats.

LiLu is like the blogger I aspire to be: funny, friendly, and has a vagina. I love vaginas. SO jealous. But then, if I had one, I wouldn’t have time to blog. You know, with all the masturbating and sticking vegetables in it and stuff.

LiLu has been like the sister I never had. I guess that makes B the brother I never had. Which makes me picturing them having sex like some weird Kentucky home movie. Especially with me in the middle. FYI, B is packing and doesn’t like to lube up when he goes backdoor. I wish I never had a brother.”

lacochran:

“Congratulations to the only chick I know who works to make you feel comfortable while she shares details about blow jobs. Shine on you crazy diamond. Love ya!”

Marie:

“She loves hard – especially her man – and lives life to the fullest – especially in bed.

You give her specific instructions for how to make and drink a certain type of extremely strong alcohol. But since she’s already had too much firefly, she’s downed the entire beverage in mid-explanation.

LiLu, my dear, you are a wonderful and unique individual. Let’s keep it that way shall we?”

Maxie:

“Thank god the 20sb Award LiLu won for “blogger I’d most like to get a drink with” was phrased in the singular form. The girl can’t stay up past 10:00 to save her life, let alone to have 2.”

Narm:

“LiLu is to blogging what beastiality is to internet porn. She is funny and shocking but I also have to delete my history before Mom finds out.

500 posts – and at least four of them didn’t have a TWSS joke! It’s like they just come naturally (TWSS).

Thanks to the “TMI Thursday” series it is quicker to just ask bloggers where they HAVEN’T shit themselves. It has turned the internet into one big menstruation play-by-play. Are you there, God, it’s me, THE ENTIRE FUCKING INTERNET.

Congrats on 500 posts!”

Shoebox Dweller:

“Once upon a time, a broken hearted woman wrote a message, slipped it into a bottle, and set it gently upon the water. Giving voice to her grief made her feel better, and so she continued writing, setting the words free.

Day after day, she watched the bottles drift away, destination unknown.

One day, she woke up and was amazed to find a bottle washed up on shore. She nervously unrolled the message, and read the words:

“I hear you. You are stronger and braver than you know, and I hear you.”

Words can make us laugh, sometimes so hard that we think we will burst. Words can make us cry, for our own sorrows and those of others we have never met.

Words bring people together who would otherwise never meet, for reasons of geography or age or any other divisive reason.

It’s been an honour to be a part of your life, your home, and most of all, to be part of the incredible community that you have created. Your creativity and humour brings people together, and that is a rare gift indeed.”

Jenn:

“When I first met LiLu at #pbtuna back in October, I was all nervous and intimidated and scared and “what if she hates me?!” I mean, come on people. The girl writes about poop at least once a week. What if I was too white bread because I kept my bowel movements to myself? Can you really blame someone for that sort of discretion?

Well kids, I’m going to let you in on a little top secret state secret. That girl who writes about farts and named her cat Axe Murderer? SHE’S A TOTAL SOFTIE.

That’s right. Total softie. Have you read her archives from when she first met B? (*cough* I’m a stalker *cough*). She’s quite lovable, this one.

Unless you’re a freak in a bar who won’t stop talking to her or her friends, in which case you should brace yourself because all that shit she keeps talking about? It’s coming straight for your face.”

Alexa:

“four words: penis shaped ice luge. i love you girl, and congrats on making it to 500! being the blog rockstar that you are, you’ll be hitting 1,000 before we know it. xoxo”

That Kind of Girl:

“One of the most incredible things about Lilu is how hard she works to make sure she individually welcomes every single person to the internet. Girlfriend’s such a comment whore she has to wear latex gloves when she types. Who among us hasn’t wondered how she has the friggin’ time to be a patron saint of and treasured friend to bloggers everywhere?

Pro tip: she saves time by forcing B to generate half of her posts. Can’t you just see him, locked in the bathroom, one cat duct-taped to each arm while Lilu force feeds him tequila and laxatives. “Come on, baby, next Thursday’s post won’t write itself. Give me two more cat jokes and one poop story, then we can negotiate your couch privileges…”

Completely worth it, Lilu (and hang in there, B — keep saying shiz, lest she feed you to Axie!). We love your blog, dude, and we love you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***This idea inspired by my dear friend Katherine’s genius post a year ago- thanks for letting my blatantly steal it. XOXO***






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Mama said share.

So, I know I’ve been slacking on the Weekend Doses of Fugly. What can I say, life happens.

BUT during the commercials before Avatar tonight (my 140-character thoughts on that subject are here and here),

THIS happened.

I guffawed, people. GUFFAWED.

Well played, Old Spice.

Well. PLAYED.

***Don’t forget “Life Advice from B” questions are still live. Ask ‘em now!***

Mama said share.

Ever since Maxie showed me this, I have been unable to stop watching it.

(If I turn up dead? B killed me, and this video is why.)

*giggles uncontrollably*

No? Just me?

Sigh. It’s hard being weird sometimes.

Mama said share.

Last week, my dear friend Marissa- who is in CHILE, mind you- took time out of her vacation to email me this, with the following message…

“Of all the people I know or e-know in the world, I thought of you and your blog when I first saw this.”

I have never, ever been so proud.

Mama said share.

Okay, so.

If you’ve basically ever been here to my corner before, you probably know that about 95% of B’s and my weekend time is generally spent pantsless on our couch, drinking beer and trying to make our cats wear bumblebee hats. (And if you don’t know me by now…)

I kid, I kid. If you just read that sentence, you’re pretty much up to speed.

ANYHOO, this particular weekend was spent with all four of our parents.

No, like, ALL of it. (I know.)

And I love them dearly. I do. But between a trip to Baltimore (Go Sawx!), a two hour trek to Eastern Market on a twisted ankle, a late night at the DC Improv, and a movie here or there, I could die dead right at my desk right now and pretty much be totally okay with it because at least MY EYES WOULD BE CLOSED AND I WOULD NOT BE MOVING.

Heaven.

Note to self: Next time? Take Monday off from work.

P.S. to self: Don’t let there be a next time.

(Kidding, Mom. You are my everything.)

Anyhoosits, my point is that I am fucking tired. So, here… have some bullets.

Go on, take them. They’re not rollover or anything!

(God, I hate those commercials.)

• If you know me, you know that I adore the DC Improv with all of my heart and soul. Saturday’s show did not disappoint, but they never do, and here’s why. I’ve probably been there a dozen times, and lately I’ve noticed that this guy Tim Miller is almost always the host/MC/first comic up. And he. Is. HILARIOUS. Honestly, I think he’s better than the headliner most of the time. Find a way to check this man out, y’all. His regular set is amazing, but my favorite thing about him is his ability to play off the audience for, oh, ten minutes at a time. To me, THAT is the measure of a great comic. And he gets an A+++.

(Did I mention he was funny?)

• Today might, just might, be my two year Blogoversary. Woot. I WAS going to do something really cool to celebrate, but then I happened to notice that I’m only a few hundred away from hitting the 20,000 comment mark… and frankly, I think that’s a helluva lot cooler. That marks the fact that this is a community; a place where discussion goes on. And frankly, I’m a lot more proud of having created that. So, when I do hit that mark, I’ll be having a giveaway THEN… because obviously this is all about you, not me. Also? The giveaway is entirely awesome, boozy, and a little bit illegal. What’s not to love?

(Oh, hi Feds… how you doing? Um, it’s not THAT illegal… I promise to check people’s Facebooks to make sure they’re 21! Swear it! Hey, why are you looking behind m- oh, of course I’m not crossing my fingers! Come on now… who even does that anymore… I’m almost 26 years old, for chrissake’s. Let go of my arm! KNIBB HIGH FOOTBALL RULES!!!!!!!)

• Speaking of turning 26 in LESS THAN A MONTH, Maxie and I have chosen a venue for our wedding/co-birthday party. It will be UPSTAIRS at Stetson’s at 16th and U Street at 9pm on Saturday, October 17th. So stick THAT in your hat. Or in your calendar. Mostly in your calendar. Or your calendar’s hat. I’m not picky.

As of right now, we have out of towners from Colorado, Los Angeles, Florida, Detroit, Boston, Milwaukee, Cleveland, Toronto, and CHICAGO!!!! traveling to hang out with the already enormous D.C. crew.

(Gwen, you don’t even KNOW what bananas looks like. Let us show you it.)

That’s all I got. Excuse me while I go collapse now. In the FACE.

Mama said share.

Hey! Guess what. I’m only a LITTLE bit here today. I’m mostly over here, at Maxie’s place with one of the most deranged Would You Rather Wednesdays ever, thanks to the help of my dear friend Moog from Mental Poo. Go on, you know you want to click. I know you want to see that trainwreck, you sicko, you!

Ahem.

It’s actually quite appropriate that I’m posting on Maxie’s Pad (tee hee) today, given my current state…

Last night I started crying because we couldn’t find the episode of The Tudors where we’d left off. Seems reasonable, no? I thought so.

(Aunt Flo, you are a dirty, dirty whore.)

Anyhoo, B patted my hand and asked, “Would you like some wine?”

Good man.

He returned and I meekly thanked him as I took a big sip. Later, when I was slightly more sane, he showed me this.

 (Click to enlarge.)

Sometimes, getting relationship advice from the internet is a great thing.

Mama said share.