Save 83% on a Sports Illustrated subscription for 56 issues.

Or, rather, it’s time to share it with YOU, because I already did that shiz. Check it out:

Our winner is: SkylersDad! I’ll be sending you an email so you can pick out your favorite cookies.

And as an aside, my very first post is up on iostudio’s blog – my 2 cents on Google+ thus far. Check it out!

Mama said share.

Save 66% on an Us Weekly subscription with no auto renewal.

Now, I can dress myself. Rather well, I might add. BUT.

I am, like most of the female population, one of those girls who never has anything to wear. I can barely get into my walk-in closet thanks to all the crap in there, and this is still the case. I buy pieces that I love, but have trouble turning them into outfits. It takes me twenty minutes just to pick my clothes in the morning, and I generally go through five outfits before I find something I don’t hate.

This should not be the case.

So when I saw the opportunity to have a “strategic shopping” session with Kaarin Moore of Closet Caucus that promised to help me sort through my wardrobe woes, I was curious. And after I googled a bit, I decided that she sounded legit (and just lovely to boot), so why not give it a shot?

(She’s also on Twitter, which automatically makes me like any company about 50% more.)

Before our session, she asked me a zillion questions about my style, personality, and what I liked to do. (Me: “Does ‘mimosas’ count as a hobby?”) So when we met up in Georgetown last week, she already had a solid idea of where I was coming from and what I needed to accomplish. We spent a while discussing what I had in my wardrobe already (thereby determining which staples we were on the hunt for that day), and discussing strategies for optimizing my closet as a whole, so that my pieces would all easily fit together and I’d never be left struggling with that WHAT TO WEAR?! question again.

Next, we hit the streets. First, I needed the perfect Little Black Dress, as I hate the 10 or so already in my closet. About five minutes later, we walked out of White House Black Market with an absolutely perfect, high quality, flattering LBD. You’ll probably see it on me at the next happy hour, so get ready, y’all.

After that, JEANS. We headed into Levi’s (Her: “Levi’s has been doing great things lately…” Me: “I don’t care what the label says, as long as they make my ass look good.”) and headed upstairs… to see 4,294 pairs of jeans. I trembled in fear, while Kaarin marched me to a dressing room and returned in five minutes with three pairs.

The first fit well, but wasn’t quite IT.

The second was so perfect, I didn’t even try on the third.

Yes, that’s right. Homegirl found my Cinderella Jeans in TWO. TRIES.

We hit a few other stores where I found some perfect summer dresses for my weddings and conferences I have this summer, a couple adorable cardis, and more. The whole time I was completely comfortable – shopping with Kaarin was honestly more like shopping with a BFF who really knew her shit. (I didn’t hold back – she got the full Rachael… and she didn’t bat an eye. This chick? Is cool.)

The one thing I couldn’t find was the perfect black blazer. A few hours after our session, Kaarin emailed me a link to the exact kind we’d been looking for.

She also sent me an invite to ideeli.com, which, after looking around there, means my wallet is in a LOT of trouble. (If you want an invite, let me know in the comments. I’ll make it happen.)

Now, I know this whole thing sounds like she paid me tons of money to write it.

She didn’t. Not a cent. But after telling a few of my besties about it, they all said they’d be interested in something like this, so I wanted to share. (She’ll also come over to your house and clean out your closet for you, which will probably be my next purchase…)

Anyway, the only thing I’m getting out of this writeup is a 10% discount for you:

Closet Caucus is a fashion and wardrobe consulting company located in Washington, DC. Stylist Kaarin Moore was inspired to start her own business when she found herself becoming the go-to shopping companion for her friends and their friends. Kaarin has a passion for helping clients, from those who are body conscious to clients who are completely uninhibited.

So go forth and fix your wardrobes, ladies. And do it under the guiding hand of Kaarin Moore. (Cinderella jeans. TWO TRIES. You just can’t beat that.)

Mama said share.

If you’d told me a year ago that while in the throes of a horrible job search, I would jet off for a weekend to the crunchiest, hippiest, patchouliest, most adorable town on earth to spend two days with a couple girls I’d only met a handful of times…

Well, let’s be honest. I probably would’ve shrugged and said, “Yup, that sounds like me.”

And it does, because I did, and honestly? It was just about the most perfect girls’ weekend in the world, wrapped up in a big “cutest town EVER” bow.

I don’t think I stopped laughing from the moment I climbed into the periwinkle blue 4-runner with Doni and beelined for Boulder to meet Chels for a much needed hair-of-the-dog lunch. Three grilled cheeses and a strawberry-bourbon shake later, we were well on our way, and it didn’t stop until the moment I boarded the plane home.

There was Girl Talk and pizza and SO MUCH BOXED WINE. There was a VHS viewing of Britney live in Vegas, and choregraphed singalongs to boot. There were talks about Those Heavy (But Important) Things you can only discuss with kindred spirits (preferably over one too many glass of bubbles).

There was traispsing through an adorable saloon-style town with hippie boutiques where our tarot card reader told us we were not, in fact, drinking too much booze. (Hefty tip much??)

There was a spider in a brunch plate that bolstered our ability to consume many, many mimosas… instead of the eggs said spider had been drowning in. There were street performers and skipping tipsy through the streets with Ashalah and gigantor moose statues…

…and Christmas tree lightings…

…and tigers, oh my.

And while at times all the hippie-ness was just a tad overwhelming for a jaded city girl like me, and more than once I just wanted to just stand on a park bench and scream “I EAT OFF PAPER PLATES AT HOME!!!!!!!!”…

…Saturday was an absolutely lovely day of brunching, pregaming and bar hopping, and I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

Especially when, at midnight, it seemed only logical that we should descend on the local strip club to put the debaucherous cap on our evening. Many singles and quite a few motorboats later (hey, at least they asked our permission first?)…

Afterwards, Chels and I headed home for some late night beers with a past Top Chef winner, who shall not be named. This was just lovely for me, as an avid TC fan, and through talking with him I discovered that a) said Top Chef winner is totally not a douchecanoe, despite the way the show portrayed him, b) Tom is truly as kickass as he seems and my chefetish is entirely justified; and c) Alex absolutely did NOT steal that English pea puree. (While this winner appeared on an earlier season, I asked his professional opinion as someone who’s been in that environment, and he confirmed that there is NO way that could have happened without the cameras seeing it. And also that a freaking pea puree takes about two seconds to make. Well, Alex, my official apologies. But despite that, you still are a douchecanoe, IMHO.)

So, all in all, it was the absolute perfect weekend escape, and if I ever decide to go Mormon, you can bet your ass Doni and Chels are the ladies I want at my marital side, singing karaoke Carrie Underwood at the top of our lungs in the living room over a box or three of wine every night.

Amen, prospective sister-wife. Amen.

Mama said share.

So, remember that time I wrote this super whiny post about “blah blah my life is so hard because I’m doing way too much of all the things I love to do BUT ALSO I’D LIKE TO GET PAID FOR IT PLEASE”? And you guys were totally awesome and you were all “Dude. We hear you. You rock. If you whine build it, it will come” and that’s why I freaking love you so much?

Thanks for that. Seriously. Likealot.

(((Group hug)))

Moving on!

So, since I’ve been rocking this whole “OMG one foot in front of the goddamn other” ‘tude, I’ve noticed that every tiny little thing that happens has a very, uh, magnified effect in regards to how I feeeeeeeeeel about it. Basically, if I stub my toe, or I rip my tights, or that Thai for lunch gives me heartburn (which it does because I’m eighty apparently)…

DAY = RUINED.

Fortunately, this extreme seems to go both ways, in that something like buying tickets to see an awesomely bad movie or knowing that you’re getting on a plane to Boulder in the morning or a particularly awesome gif can mean

DAY = TOTALLY REDEEMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Case in point:

I noticed I was dangerously close to being out of face wash on Monday. Le sad.

So I stopped at CVS and, remembering what the kind lady from my recent splurge-facial (oh god there’s at least 15 jokes in there) told me about the necessity for microbeads in one’s life, I picked up this bad boy from Neutrogena:

Simple enough, right?

Fast forward to the next morning.

You know that super, SUPER annoying commercial, with the two girls who are allegedly supposed to be dorm mates and one of them totes has a hangover even though they’re clearly preteens, and the non-hungover crazy peppy whore is all “I know what you need, gurrrrl, you need some of this amazing unicorn-urine-punch-you-in-the-face-with-special-zit-removal-powers-and-happiness face wash!!!” And the other girl is all “FINE, Peyton, I’ll use your stupid unicorn shit but then you have to SHUT YOUR FACE UNTIL I GET SOME BOONE’S FARM HAIR OF THE DOG IN MY LIFE”, but then she does use it and she magically comes out of her angry hangover cocoon and is born a beautiful butterfly who farts Lisa Frank rainbows and leaves a trail of glitter wherever she goes, and they start dancing around the room to some pop-alicious song about “waking up to love” or some shit, which sort of makes no sense because isn’t today’s message to women supposed to be “Forget Prince Charming, you good enough all by your badass self, chica*!”

*The “chica” is used to represent the company’s sensitivity to cultural diversity. Why am I not in marketing, again?

Right, so. Know the one I mean? No?

Seriously?

Fine. Here it is.

So ANYWAY, that commercial is so unbelievably annoying that I have to mute it every time it comes on, even though this action requires things like “movement” and “doing something other than drinking wine”, which are both things I AM OPPOSED TO DOING when I’m pantsless on the couch. That’s how much I hate it.

But.

This stupid Neutrogena face wash? For reals guys. It was just. like. that.

It makes me feel like belting out Miley in the shower while eating clementines. Because there’s just a hint of citrus in it… a GENTLE amount of citrus. The citrus hint is so tender, it’s not even mentioned on the bottle. It just wraps you up snugly in a faint and pleasant, not-overambitious citrus hug, probably with Norah Jones playing softly in the background.

And it makes me happy.

Baby steps, and the little things.

Sadly enough, I was in no way compensated for this post and the Neutrogena people don’t even know I’m alive, as far as I know. Though I am absolutely not opposed to them stumbling across this and offering me money for it. Just saying. What?

Mama said share.

Welcome to Part Dos of my BlogHer experience! (Numero Uno is here.)

I nursed my hangover by donning my keyboard cat shirt (play him off, Keyboard Cat!), which is scientifically proven to cure all ailments:

If there ever was a crowd to appreciate this shirt, it’s BlogHer. Trust. (Aren’t we all just crazy cat-lady bloggers on the inside, after all? I thought so.)

After some more Expo Hall swag-gathering, I met up with my darlings from Bloggers in Sin City: Katelin, LaceyBean, and Jessica B.for some good old-fashioned s’mores making.

No, seriously:

(photo via Diane Bondareff Photography)

Down the hall in the Serenity Suite, I finally got to meet the has-no-right-to-be-that-gorgeous-with-three-munchkins Kate from The Big Piece of Cake. (Never mind the fact that she lives, oh, two miles from me, and this is the first time we were able to meet.) Heart you, lady!

Then it was time to Swag Swap with Katelin, Lacey and Jess; AKA get rid of five pounds of stuff I didn’t need (read: couldn’t fit into my suitcase), and pick up a few choice items other people had decided to leave behind.

Imagine my Complete and Utter Joy when we discovered…

A FEATHER BOA AND CAPE, casually discarded like someone’s holey (not holy) granny panties!!! I instantly knew they were meant for me to give them a good home.

After we got all touristy with it, traipsing around Times Square (boa and cape included, of course), it was FINALLY time for…

The NYC 20sb Happy Hour!!!!!!!!!!!

I would love to list everyone who was there, but I would undoubtedly forget someone near and dear to my heart, so this will have to suffice:

(Click through to see those who RSVP'd)

(Shamelessly swiped from Katelin’s flickr stream)

Johnny Utah’s was a fantastic host to us 20sb-ers. I have no words for the amazing sauce of this evening… but I can show you it.

(Shamelessly swiped from Doni’s TweetPhoto stream)

(Shamelessly swiped from Katelin’s flickr stream)

Heart you, @missheidi !!!

Then we made our way back to the Sparklecorn and Cheezburger parties at BlogHer for epic dance parties and… well… other things that must be seen to be believed.

(Shamelessly swiped from Katelin’s flickr stream)

And because it’s just too good not to share:

So, yes… I had a Fucking Lot of Fun.

But more importantly, going to BlogHer and spending time amongst all these beautiful ladies (and the two Matts!) made me want to write again, which is something I haven’t really felt since all that MTV jazz began and I didn’t have time to think, breathe, eat or sleep for a month. It reminded me of all the great people I’ve met, people I’m proud to know and call friends, from all over the country, America’s hat, and beyond, who I desperately want to stay in touch with.

BlogHer, to me, wasn’t about the sponsors, or the lectures, or the swag. It was about meeting people, making new connections and reaffirming the old… the very reason I started this goddamn blog in the first place. I feel like through BISC and 20sb and BlogHer and PB AND TUNA ON OCTOBER 23rd!!!! and gchats and grabbing a drink when we’re in town, we’re really and truly friends. And that, that is a fantastic feeling.

P.S. Bull riding pics/video to come tomorrow…






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Mama said share.

Daniel “Diggy” Simmons… is cooler than you.

Look, I mean that in the best way possible. He probably wouldn’t even want me to say that, that’s how cool he is. But you’ve just gotta face facts.

His sneaker line comes out in a month. He dresses better than anyone I know. His second mixtape, ‘Airborne’, drops on July 29th. He’s already been nominated for MTV’s “Hottest Breakthrough MC of 2010″ for his first and other works. Works supported by the likes of Kanye and Nas.

And he’s 15 years old.

picture: @diggy_simmons's twitter background

And believe me, after talking to him for just ten minutes, it doesn’t have anything to do with his father’s success, other than the fact that he was raised in a musical environment and supported by his family to become the driven, friendly, humble, gracious, and ambitious person that he is.

Diggy’s got “it”… you know what I mean. That thing where you just know that someone will be able to accomplish whatever they want to in life, and they’re going to make you love them while they do it.

I’ve transcribed the interview here for those of you reading at work, etc., but try to listen to the audio if you can. Writing can’t capture this kid’s personality.

Okay, y’all, bear with me at the beginning… YES I WAS NERVOUS. Jerks.

L: As a blogger and prospective Twitter Jockey for MTV, one of my favorite things about you is definitely how engaged you are with your fans on the internet. And I hear you’re pretty tight with Justin Bieber, who’s also really active online. What do you think about the way social media now allows artists to connect with their public?

D: I think it’s great, because a lot of the time, I mean, you look at- shoot- years back, the only real source for even hip hop, was just like, allhiphop.com, and now you’ve got all these blogs and ways to get involved you know, as the news occurs. Before it was just radio, which is hard, and now with Facebook, Twitter- you can be like your own publisher.

L: Absolutely, and you can have a real conversation with your fans, actually talk to them.

Oh yeah, I answer and tweet back my fans, DM them, and different things, so I think it’s great, especially when I can interact with the people that go hard for me. It’s mind-boggling to me that somebody like, takes out their day, for me. So it’s great.

L: The very first thing Twitter said when I told them I was interviewing you was: “Ask him about fashion!” You’ve become something of a style icon, and your posts about fashion on your blog are so inspiring. I know you’ve started your own sneaker line, “Chivalrous Culture”, releasing the first shoes this fall, is that right?

D: Yes, the shoes are coming out this fall, like around August/September- it’s going great.

L: So what’s your next move in the fashion world?

D: I wouldn’t mind doing some collaborations, you know, with different brands that I like. And obviously, one day, you know I already have it in mind- I’m always thinking- a clothing brand I’d like to do of mine.

L: And I can’t wait to see it. So, I read that you used Garage Band and a MacBook to produce your first tracks, which I LOVE, and you’ve said in an interview that you want fans to recognize you for your lyrics, rather than mistaking you for a “bubblegum, kiddie-bop” rapper. It seems like you really know what’s important to you as an artist- there’s no tricks, just a real person with real talent. Where does that confidence, that drive, come from?

D: I mean, I don’t know, a lot of people always ask “What is that ambition, what is it in you that’s made you always know what you wanted to do?” I mean, I don’t know. I think it’s just something that me just being young- from sketching when I was like, in the third grade, to having a sneaker line now, you know, always knowing what I wanted and what was the intention.

L: Speaking of that drive, your second mixtape, ‘Airborne’ is going to drop on July 29, 2010. How has it evolved from your first one, ‘The First Flight’? What’s different? [Get a taste of 'Airborne' here.]

D: All across the board. Lyrically, the production- it’s just bigger, it’s very album-esque.

(Aaaand my TWO cameras somehow both cut out for a minute, so make sure you go give it a listen. You won’t be sorry.)

L: You’re one of MTV’s candidates for “Hottest Breakthrough MC of 2010″. You’ve been around the music industry all your life, but only in it yourself less than a year- this be quite a ride. How did you feel when you first heard that?

D: When I first heard it… I was in the car on my way to a photo shoot, and I saw it, you know, the other names pop up, and I’m just happy to be next to these dudes that have been on the grind, and, you know, shoot- it’s just been like, a happy year for me! And it’s great to be next to people who’ve been on the grind for years. It’s only been half a year- you know, the grind- so I’ve been going hard.

L: A lot of people recognize you, I’m sure, from Run’s House, and have preconceived notions about who you are, but through the internet you’ve had the opportunity to connect with them about your point of view on all different issues- music, fashion, pop culture- and you know, has that allowed you to say, “Hey, I’m not just that 10 year old kid from a TV show, I’ve got my own identity.” How has that allowed you to separate yourself from your family, and your brother, who I’m sure you’ve been compared to?

D: Of course it’s harder, but that’s, you know, that’s something you do right here, in interviews, and through your music. You let people know, “Hey, this is just me, I’m here by myself, I’m grinding on my own.” And, you know, that’s just really how you let people know that- of course there’s gonna be the people that doubt you at first, cause there are tons of people that go, “Oh, he’s a rapper now?” Because of course there are a lot of people that are aspiring producers, and on every corner there’s an aspiring rapper, so of course to some people it must be annoying. But the people that have been supporting me, just, you know, thank you.

L: Press was buzzing after your Atlantic deal [for The First Flight] that [older brother] JoJo was jealous. We both know that’s crazy, there’s only love in the Simmons family. But is there a chance the two of you might collaborate in the future?

D: Oh, yeah, for sure. It could most definitely happen, I mean, we have done tracks a while ago that we probably wouldn’t put out, because I’ve progressed since, but, shoot, it could most definitely happen.

L: Maybe we could get the whole family in there?

D: [laughing] I don’t know about that, maybe on some ad libs or something!

Make sure to check out Diggy’s blog, Life of the Jet Setter, for sneak peeks at ‘Airborne’ as well as his fresh perspective on music, fashion and more.

You can follow him on twitter @diggy_simmons, and you can download his first mixtape, ‘The First Flight’, right here.

This kid’s going up fast… you don’t want to miss it.

Mama said share.

So, you’ve listened to me rave about Redline Addiction for days now. I’ve told you to follow them here there and everywhere, get thee to their music now!!!

I’ve told you why I love them so… but now I’m going to SHOW you why.

Monday night I was lucky enough to catch them in a recording session for a “behind the scenes” peek at a real band making a real album in a real recording studio. (Starstruck much? Seriously… so cool.)

The guys were absolutely awesome to hang with, my kind of people: down to earth, completely honest, and able to appreciate my Always Sunny jokes. (I was wearing my “Flipadelphia” shirt, and they broke into the Flipadelphia song when they saw it. IMMEDIATE BEST FRIENDS FOR LIFE.)

Enough of my prattling! Check these guys out and decide for yourself (and get a sneak peek into the new album they’re recording)!!!

Now you’re convinced?? Good. I thought so. Then you should do the following, stat:

Follow their (very fun and active) Twitter here: @RedlineAddicts

“Like” their Facebook page HERE

Listen to their music HERE

Here’s my favorite song, “Everybody Knows”: Listen

Review and buy their music on Amazon and iTunes! These guys are giving 10 CDs away to the first ten people who do!!! (Leave a link in the comments and I’ll put you in touch!)

Head to their show tomorrow night and support them as they battle it out with other way-less-cool local bands…

And lastly, tweet this post to spread the word!

Are you addicted yet?!?!?

Mama said share.

Well, friends, today’s FINALLY the day!

I’m gonna keep it short and sweet, because some things are just to important to joke about.

Not abortion or Engrish jokes, obviously. Those are free game.

No, I’m talking about the fact that a few weeks ago, MTV- yes, you read that right, MTV- they came to me.

Little old me.

And well, basically… they’ve offered me the chance of a lifetime.

As of today, June 21st, I am one of 20 contestants competing in “The Search for the First MTV TJ” – aka Twitter Jockey.

And so, in three little words…

I need you.

In a few more,

I need you to make my dream come true.

To check out the full details, my ridiculous intro video, my full profile- all that is here.

Meanwhile, in this place, all I can do is ask for your help to make my dream job a reality.

The job itself may not have existed yet when I was born, or even two months ago, for that matter… but I believe it was meant for me. And, frankly?

I would own it.

And so, selfishly, unabashedly, I am asking for your help. For you to help me spread the word, via Twitter, an email or a Facebook shout out to your friends (are WE friends?? Make sure!), blogging it, posting the badge below… and eventually, for your vote when the voting opens in a few weeks.

In return, I vow to fill all the vending machines with PBR, Big League Chew, and unicorn farts for everyone!

Or something.

HOW TO HELP A GIRL OUT:

Add this badge to your sidebar (275 px):

<a href="http://www.livitluvit.com/i-need-you" target="_blank"><img src="http://i556.photobucket.com/albums/ss5/Livitluvit/mtvtj-1.png" border="0" alt="LiLu for MTV TJ"></a>

Smaller version (175 px):

<a href="http://www.livitluvit.com/i-need-you" target="_blank"><img src="http://i556.photobucket.com/albums/ss5/Livitluvit/mtvtj-1-1.png" border="0" alt="LiLu for MTV TJ"></a>

Tweet your heart out for me, all day, every day! (Yes, yes I’m greedy):

Follow @LivitLuvit, my favorite contestant in the @MTVTJ search for MTV’s first Twitter Jockey! #zyncmtvtj

(Feel free to modify, the above suggestion is just for your copy & paste convenience. Cause I’m good like that.)

And then, my love ducks… then we pray. Until we can vote. And then we vote and pray again.

I know there might be a lot of newcomers today, so I’d like to officially welcome you to my humble corner of the interwebs with the musical stylings of my partner in crime Maxie and myself, in the key of Stephen Colbert:

You’re welcome.

If you have any questions, new reader or old, please comment or email me. I’d love to hear from you in any and all formats.

But mostly by you pimping me on Twitter.

What?

Update: Here’s my intro video I sent into MTV. Um, after watching the others, it’s a little… DIFFERENT. But you wouldn’t expect anything less from me, would you?

Mama said share.

No, literally. She sent me this. Like in an email.

Gotta say, while freaking hilarious, it doesn’t quite hold a candle to the hot mess that was Liza Minnelli’s rendition in SATC2 (aka the only five minutes I didn’t want to put my eyes through a sieve during that movie).

Happy weekend! And thanks to everyone who came out last night for the Happy Hour- so great to see you!

Maxie
Lexa
Brad
Katie
12minds
GraceElena & her darling man
Restaurant Refugee
JerzeyGrrl
DCPrincess &”the boy”
Jesserker
Elizabeth Clay
RachelSmiles & her entire office building
Jasmine
The Northerner
J. Money & delightful friend
Malnurtured Snay
AmandaKruse
Lusty Reader and her charming hubby
LA Cochran
Gilahi
Rachel (What a Grand World)
and pixie658 all the way from VA beach! Amazing to see you so soon after Vegas!

If I forgot anyone, hugs and kisses, my brain is not, how do you say, *functioning*, yet. Let me know and I’ll fix it on the fly, yo.

Thanks again for coming… bear hugs and big wet smooches!

~take it, leave it, love it, spank it~

Mama said share.

So yesterday, I finally made The Switch.

You know the one I mean…

Woman to man. I’m finally a post-op transcentaur!

I kid, I kid.

Probably.

No no, my friends, I mean the most important switch any true interwebs addict (who can’t get an iPhone because of their Verizon family plan slash being poor DAMN YOU APPLE AND YOUR ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY JUST OUT OF MY REACH!!!!!) can make:

from BlackBerry… to Droid.

(Cue drum finale, cymbals, triangle!)

I’ve been wanting to switch teams (ha) for a while. The only thing I was worried about was not having real, push-me-and-feel-it-click buttons. This whole touch screen thing seems a little sketch, like the old guy at the bar who puts his cheek out for a kiss and then turns at the last second so you plant one on him.

What?

But the Droid- (hmmm, it needs a name. Eduardo? Eduardo it is)- won me over within the hour. First of all, Eddie has a KEY FOR EVERY LETTER!!!!! (Yes, I had the Pearl, aka the only Berry without a qwerty keyboard. And yes, it blew chunks. Big wet ones.)

I know, I know. I’m so behind the times. I’m basically Amish. Or the Duggars. (Having twenty kids is SO 19th century.)

Anyhoo. Not only does Eddie have a FULL keyboard, the damn thing practically knows what I want to say before I think it. Or at least, is reallyreally good at guessing. Here, I’ll prove it.

Let’s see what happens when I try to type in some of my most recent searches that led people to this here blog:

I typed:   dynp jb my pNys rmi thuesdau

Eddie knew I meant:   dump in my pants tmi thursday

I typed:   jetay shore deibkinf gae

Eddie knew I meant:    jersey shore drinking game

I typed:   tampok ibsertioncmp counselie

Eddie knew I meant:    tampon insertion camp counselor

I typed:   ccaugr jt ib rhe rheelevarir doota

Eddie knew I meant:    caught it in the elevator doors

*sigh of happiness* 

This, my friends, is the beginning of a Great Romance.

Mama said share.