These MTV challenges just keep getting crazier and crazier. I love it. Bring it on, y’all.

Challenge 3 | Good Vibrations | ZYNC from American Express(SM) Challenge
Open for 3 days ‐ from 12:01am (EST) July 12, 2010 to 11:59pm (EST) July 14, 2010.

Overview: MTV is music at its core. We want our new TJ to exhibit a real passion for music, and to take joy in discovering and breaking the ‘next big thing’…even if they live right next door. This challenge will test the TJ candidate’s ability to know talent when they see it and convince an undecided audience.

Personal: What three musical moments have impacted your life most?

Social: Expose and break a local band of your choice using any media channels available to you. Examples include blogs, the web, newspapers, magazines, video, television, radio, and more. At the end of the challenge, ZYNC from American Express will spotlight your band and their music at Miami Fashion Week!

The personal bit will come later, but for now I’d like to introduce you to my favorite local band,

REDLINE ADDICTION

Bam! Take that!!! In yo face!

Aren’t they edgy? Dirty hot, right? (They’re actually all DC working stiffs just like me, working towards The Dream. Who’dathunkit?!)

So how can you help me with this challenge?

By checking these guys out! Easy, right?

Follow their (very fun and active) Twitter here: @RedlineAddicts

“Like” their Facebook page HERE!

Listen to their music HERE!

Here’s my favorite song, “Everybody Knows”: Listen

Tweet this post to spread the word!

Come on, interwebs. Let’s make these guys HUGE and get them out of Corporate Americana forever!

And if you like what you hear (duh) and you’re in the area, you can support them THIS THURSDAY at the Mid-Atlantic Band Battle!

They’ll be competing at Jammin Java in Vienna, VA (show starts at 8, they go on at 10:30) for some cash money, baby, and studio time.

I’m heading to the studio to see them record tonight, so I’ll be back tomorrow with live footage for ya. For now, help a local band out by following and liking them! You know what to do.

Well, friends, today’s FINALLY the day!

I’m gonna keep it short and sweet, because some things are just to important to joke about.

Not abortion or Engrish jokes, obviously. Those are free game.

No, I’m talking about the fact that a few weeks ago, MTV- yes, you read that right, MTV- they came to me.

Little old me.

And well, basically… they’ve offered me the chance of a lifetime.

As of today, June 21st, I am one of 20 contestants competing in “The Search for the First MTV TJ” – aka Twitter Jockey.

And so, in three little words…

I need you.

In a few more,

I need you to make my dream come true.

To check out the full details, my ridiculous intro video, my full profile- all that is here.

Meanwhile, in this place, all I can do is ask for your help to make my dream job a reality.

The job itself may not have existed yet when I was born, or even two months ago, for that matter… but I believe it was meant for me. And, frankly?

I would own it.

And so, selfishly, unabashedly, I am asking for your help. For you to help me spread the word, via Twitter, an email or a Facebook shout out to your friends (are WE friends?? Make sure!), blogging it, posting the badge below… and eventually, for your vote when the voting opens in a few weeks.

In return, I vow to fill all the vending machines with PBR, Big League Chew, and unicorn farts for everyone!

Or something.

HOW TO HELP A GIRL OUT:

Add this badge to your sidebar (275 px):

<a href="http://www.livitluvit.com/i-need-you" target="_blank"><img src="http://i556.photobucket.com/albums/ss5/Livitluvit/mtvtj-1.png" border="0" alt="LiLu for MTV TJ"></a>

Smaller version (175 px):

<a href="http://www.livitluvit.com/i-need-you" target="_blank"><img src="http://i556.photobucket.com/albums/ss5/Livitluvit/mtvtj-1-1.png" border="0" alt="LiLu for MTV TJ"></a>

Tweet your heart out for me, all day, every day! (Yes, yes I’m greedy):

Follow @LivitLuvit, my favorite contestant in the @MTVTJ search for MTV’s first Twitter Jockey! #zyncmtvtj

(Feel free to modify, the above suggestion is just for your copy & paste convenience. Cause I’m good like that.)

And then, my love ducks… then we pray. Until we can vote. And then we vote and pray again.

I know there might be a lot of newcomers today, so I’d like to officially welcome you to my humble corner of the interwebs with the musical stylings of my partner in crime Maxie and myself, in the key of Stephen Colbert:

You’re welcome.

If you have any questions, new reader or old, please comment or email me. I’d love to hear from you in any and all formats.

But mostly by you pimping me on Twitter.

What?

Update: Here’s my intro video I sent into MTV. Um, after watching the others, it’s a little… DIFFERENT. But you wouldn’t expect anything less from me, would you?

Okay, people. I know you want your Vegas. Get the fuck ready, cause I’m not holding back. 

My ten favorite most memorable things that I wish I could scrub from my brain with a razor blade, a la Vegas… 

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1. Whenever Maxie, RS27, Lbluca77, Shine, Mary and I are in a room together, someone’s going to get hurt. (Pride not included.) Also, this only makes me love them more, which is scientifically impossible but still true. 

RS27’s arm after battling Maxie’s curling iron: 

Maxie managed to keep a picture of her head wound from being taken, but… 

And finally, this is my own UDI (Unidentified Drunk Injury): 

That’s what happens when you snuggle Maxie too hard, I suppose.

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2. Doing a party dress fashion show (fashion show! fashion show! fashion show at LUNCH!) that involved me changing multiple times in what I did not know was an entirely see-through closet. In a hotel room full of people. And none of them TOLD me. 

Also see: me asking Shine to zip up one of said dresses. “No, really. Go ahead. Just pinch me if you have to! PINCH IT!!! 

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3. Finding these shirts in Wisconsin: 

Words clearly not necessary.

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4. Discovering the art of fake retweeting friends on twitter. See Exhibits A through E. Okay, and F. (Btw that last one totally backfired on her, because some dude DM’d her “Not to be dirty… But the footjob tweet was f*cking hot! ” 

Ew ew gross get me a shower holy vomit in my hair GROSS. 

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5. Sharing raunchy sex stories in one of the hotel rooms with some two dozen ladies… and RS27. 

That's about right.

My own submission? Walking in on my grandparents doing it. 

God, I’m great at parties. 

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6. Surprise Trust-Falling Rachel into the pool. And by trust-falling, I mean surprise dive-bombing. She’s a sport, y’all. I did at least asked if she minded getting wet first. I did not, however, wait for an answer before shouting “TWSS!!!!!!” and launching our bodies into the air. 

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7. Friday night dance party was the most magical thing ever. Two things everyone from Vegas now knows about me: 

A. If you put me in the center of the dance circle, the grand finale of my repertoire will probably be flashing the girls at my love bunnies, Katelin and Vixations. 

B. If a guy from a group of creepy straight boys passive aggressively unpops the collar of our favorite gay because he has the jealousies, I will bitch slap him upside his head. That is all. 

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8. Maxie, RS27 and I dancing through the hotel singing the Always Sunny Dayman and Troll Toll songs from start to finish. Like, a dozen times. How did we not get beat up, bozos??? 

“Stage freeze!” “Don’t SAY stage freeze, just do it!!!” 

This is how you dooo iiiiiiiiiiit. (This is how you do it.)

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9. Face-licking the hell out of Chelsea the moment I met her. I mean full-on tongue, to the ear, people. AND YOU ALL THOUGHT I WOULDN’T DO IT. 

Also, she rocks. See? 

No drop of beer shall go undrunk! Undranken? My head hurts.

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10. Zomg, I’m still hungover. I quit. Here’s a bunch of pretty pictures. 

We're on a PLANE!!!

Proof that Maxie is an elf.

Proof that I need a helmet.

Look! I'm normal sometimes!

Jay kaying, jay kaying. Never normal.

Adam Lambert, I mean RS27's boyfriend, I mean Ben.

Apparently, Ben thinks I should inform you guys that this was a theme party. LIKE YOU DON’T WEAR THAT EVERYDAY. Not buying it.

GIVE ME YOUR HAIRRRRRRRRRRRR (ps love you Katelin!)

Bottle service. YES WE ARE THAT BADASS. Bishes.

Finally, I have my own Ebony to my Ivory!

Me OWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Airport french fry breakfast. And yes, my shirt says "Bayside High Technology Team." You may judge me for neither.

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Everyone who came, it was a blast meeting all of you. I only wish we’d had more time and less tequila. 

LOVE YOUR FACES. 

Now excuse me while I go throw up.

UPDATE: Yes yes yes Maxie has surrendered a picture of the head wound!!! Here it is in all its purple glory…

Not going and really fucking sick of hearing about it? I don’t blame you. It’s going to be awesome.

Uh… quick, look at this!…

Moving on.

So. You MAY have heard that I’m going to be traveling to the great state of Nevada tomorrow, to the land of slot machines and margaritas-the-size-of-heads, and all things sequiny and delightfully tacky.

B will not be joining me because he is a sane person (wha wha wha???), but as I told him last night, it’s cool because Aunt Flo’s in town. So not only does he get to miss out on THAT business, I can’t cheat on him! Really, I’m going to Vegas for HIM.

Such a giver, I am.

The things I plan on doing over the next three days are as follows:

Have an ass-slapping contest with Lbluca77.

Not be totally weird with my most favoritest Vixen.

Have a baby with our resident mama bear, Rachel. (Don’t worry, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right? Babies totally count.)

Make naughty kitty-cat jazz hands with verybadcat.

Maul Tia wildly and inappropriately the moment I see her. (Sorry, Ben. It’s happening.)

Swap “funny boyfriend” stories with Michelle.

Make Kathleen eat some cheese, even if it’s just the schmoopy kind.

Swoon over vampires with Ali. And maybe bite her a little when she’s not looking. What?

Call StaceyParadise “Tootsie Pop”.

Get Mel drunk off wine and make her tell me about her worst date of all time.

Embrace my quirks and inner klutz with Mandy.

Give Lindsay 1,000 bear hugs so she’s not scared of us all. Even though she probably should be.

Immediately go up in flames when Nicole’s crazy and my crazy finally meet. God have mercy on us all.

Draw on someone with Sharpie with Leahchristine.

See Amy’s feisty in person. It may not be on the blog, but I know it’s there.

Drink endless mimosas with Doni.

Indulge in a boatload of unnecessary carbs with Jessica.

Do karaoke with Chelsea, because she can actually sing + I am the most tone-deaf person of all time = HILARIOUS.

Make poop jokes with Nicopolitan.

Help RondaMarie drink to forget.

Reminisce about the days when the BoSox didn’t suck with ohhayitskk.

Steal Katelin’s awesome hair. (Yes, I know it’s not a wig. But put enough tequila in me and I’ll swear it can be done.)

Get 412 makeovers from the fabulous Lizzy Marie, my bi-coastal BFeffinF.

Make listen to because I’m not brown people jokes with Rahul (dot not feather).

Try not to make Mary and Shine sorry they agreed to room with Maxie and me.

Belt out Backstreet Boys everywhere we go with GingerMandy and Just A Girl.

Remarry my beloved Maxie, preferably by an Elvis impersonator, or someone wearing an ascot.

See what the hell it is that Ben got her, in reference to this tweet:

To all the rest of you I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting, in person or on the interwebs… I can’t freaking wait to fix that. And every single one of you should prepare yourself for a too-tight-hug.

See you tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today, I leave my District bubble and head down South to celebrate the first of my Carolina Girls’ bachelorette parties.

Mere, we knew you’d be the first from the moment we met Shawn. (Are you preggers  yet? How bout now? Now??)

Anyhoozle, I can’t wait to get down there and have a couple Very Klassy Evenings out with my ladies…

*coughcough*

Savannah ain’t gonna know what hit it.

My Sweet Carolina Girls - Best in the World

And that’s a threat… not a promise.

(Remember the Dominican, y’all?…

Uh huh.

Let’s DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

Thoughts and tidbits from my “draft ideas” folder that never quite made it into posts, but are rather entertaining all on their lonesome (says me):

1. (Inspired by Avatar): I really wish evolution hadn’t done away with our tails. How much fun would that be? What a great conversational starter in bars! The physical comedy possibilities alone are ENDLESS.

2. Every time someone farts in bed (not ME, of course, I would never), I think about the scene in Good Will Hunting where Robin Williams tells the story of the time his wife farted so loud she woke herself up and asked, “What was that??”

3. A delightful observation Foilwoman had over drinks a few weeks ago: twittering a conversation between two people- “Hey, I’ll be there in five minutes! Order me a beer!” “Okay, I’m to the left of the bar! I might order some chicken fingers!”- is the equivalent of talking really, really loudly on the metro. Whether it’s to a friend or (even more annoying) on the phone, we can alllllllllllll hear you. And, yanno… WE’D RATHER NOT.

4. Sometimes, I wish I was a more organized person. But I’ve decided that A) it’s part of my charm, and B) what the hell would y’all read about?

5. I quite often have visions of really odd things I would love to spring on people, just to see what they do. For instance, I have this recurring daydream where, during the groggy-ass morning bus commute when everyone looks like they want to kill themselves… I suddenly BLAST Lady’s Gaga’s “Just Dance” at top volume and boogie my heart out. How many people would join me in a gigantic, unprecedented dance party? (How many would call the police?)

6. I believe that dressing a man- (helping him with his cufflinks, straightening his tie)- is even hotter than undressing him… when you love him.

7. Speaking of undressing, I have a tendency to start to undress as I’m walking into the bathroom stall. You know, at work. This is absolutely going to get me in trouble one of these days… yet I do it anyway.

8. Whenever I leave a totally sappy, not-at-all-funny comment on someone’s blog, I’m always afraid Maxie will stumble on it and make fun of me. (Ed. note: Because I totally would do it to her, too.)

9. If someone took a movie of me watching a movie, it would probably be the greatest youtube video EVER. Even in the theater, my face is throughout a ridiculous overdramatized reaction to whatever’s happening on screen. I am also not allowed to have a wine glass in hand when “scary parts” come on. (“Scary parts” range from a slasher/babysitting movie to any time things get a little too tense in a Pixar flick.)

ZOMG watch out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10. (Seeing as it’s Wednesday and all)… Would you rather have your partner cheat on you with a member of the same sex, or of the opposite? (This question brought to you by a friend far, far away that none of you know who caught her fiancé… well, um. NOT with a woman, but definitely cheating.)

First things first… thanks to Random.Org, the winner of the TFLN book is…

#34 – RachelSmiles!

“i want that book! if only so i can share one liners with people so that they think i’m funny ”

Well you’ve got it, my dear! I’ll put you in contact with the nice lady who will be sending it to you shortly.

There’s only one condition. You must come to the Happy Hour that Maxie, brad and I are hosting at the Vapiano’s in Dupont next Friday, February 5th.

Oh, you haven’t heard about it yet?

That’s because we’re announcing it NOW.

Come one, come all. I don’t want to hear any BS about how you “don’t know anyone” and you’re “intimidated.” Hitler wasn’t intimidated! Are you saying you’re no better than Hitler?? Come on now.

And finally, I leave you with a smile. Because I have to put something here to cover up that Hitler joke, mostly.

B and I have recently become enamored with the show Tosh.O. It’s like the Soup, but dirtier.

Don’t know it? I’m about to change that.

He is also responsible for this.

And this.

Tosh.0
Asians Doing Christopher Walken Impressions
www.comedycentral.com
Web Redemption 2 Girls, 1 Cup Reaction Demi Moore Picture

You? Are WELCOME.

Happy Weekend, everyone. I’ll C U Next… FRIDAY!!!

***Please to steal the Happy Hour button and post it in your own blog to let everybody know!***

…To surprise your GBF for his birthday.

SURPRISEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

65 and sunny? YES. And also, PLEASE.

Some fancy mansion where they were "filming". No big deal.

The effects of juice box wine take hold.

Because it's LA, and this shiz just happens.

Ladies represent.

The other besties!

Three pitchers of margs. I mean, uh, dinner...

I love you, Tommy. Happy Birthday baby!!!!!

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{{Hey, did you know Project Love Harder now has it’s own blog and merchandise store?? Things are flying off the shelves and old-fashioned donations are still more than welcome as we try to reach our NEW goal of $5,000. Please to check them out… after all, what could be more perfect for Valentine’s Day?? JUST SAYIN.}}

The quandry: We feel terrible. Just horrible. And oh so helpless… if only there was something we could DO for them.

The answer: Ummmm. Did you forget that WE ARE THE INTERNET?!?!!??! And also, Yes We Can!!!

The result: Brandy and your Hot Awesome Dude… this one’s for you. Love, The Internet.

A very, VERY special thanks to everyone who helped me make this possible: Maxie, Ben, Tia, Alexa, Kyla Roma, Sizzle, Rachel, Jessica, Rachael, Katie, EP, Courtney, Tipp, Nicole, Jamie Varon, Laurie, L G, Ashley Marie, Wishcake, Matt, Doniree, Chelsea, Lisa, that short chick, Princess Pointful, Derek, Jess, Marie, Jamie, Jenn, Ashley, Erin, Jessica, Renee, Allie,  Grace, Rachel, Restaurant Refugee, Titania, Brad, Jolee, DC Princess, Patrick, and Deutlich.

***If for some reason I forgot you, let me know and I will fix immediately. I was up way past my bedtime working on this and I am a little LOCO IN THE CABEZA right now…***

Please feel free to repost this video, the information below, or all of the above! We. Are. The Internet!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(A special thanks to Laurie for creating this fund and coming up with the following language!)

Our Plea:

Our friend Brandy is a brilliant writer, a wonderful teacher, and a generous friend.  And she is in love with a man who has just been diagnosed with multiple myeloma.

We are raising money for the Multiple Myeloma Research Fund in his name.  For the price of a cinnamon dolce latte, half-caf, hold the whip, you can be part of an effort to cure a disease that affects approximately 750,000 people worldwide.

http://www.loveharder.org

Every dollar brings us a dollar closer to a cure.  And every donation brings a sliver of hope to a girl who needs all the hope she can get.

Love Harder,

LiLu

What You Can Do:

Give.  Be part of a worldwide effort to cure a disease that affects approximately 750,000 people worldwide.  Every dollar helps.

Pass it on.  Forward this story to five people.  Share this blog post.  Become our fan on Facebook.

Love harder.  Life is short, love is unbending, and no one knows what could happen next.  Tell someone you love them today.

DONATE: http://www.loveharder.org
CONTACT: theloveharderfund@gmail.com
FACEBOOK: http://facebook.loveharder.org
MORE INFO: http://www.themmrf.org

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Mad, mad love, y’all.

UPDATED: Almost forgot! Grab the fabulous badge for the fund by copying and pasting the text in the box below!

<a href="http://loveharder.org" target="_blank"><img src="http://i556.photobucket.com/albums/ss5/Livitluvit/lovehard.jpg" border="0" alt="Love Harder" /></a>

Taking a day to work on an ohsospecial project that will be unveiled Wednesday- trust, it is THE Awesome- but go check out my DC Blogs round up!

Besos.

Dear friends, lovers, and cohorts in crime…

Give me some room.

I’ve had an idea.

*hush goes over the crowd. or, wait… that sounds more like… stunned silence… and disbelief?*

Asshats.

MOVING ON.

Many of you have mentioned from time to time how nice it would be to hear more from B. A guest post, perhaps, or even a vlog (preferably drunk). Though I’ve tried to get him inebriated enough to agree to something like that many, many times, it has been to no avail.

Until now.

Let me ’splain.

Although my darling dear has many talents, like walking cats on leashes, one of my favorites is his ability to give advice. Let me rephrase that: really, REALLY good advice. Whereas I am a tad impatient, and perhaps even a bit, oh, impulsive (oh, did you all just snarf your coffees? SO SORRY)… he is generally calm, cool, and collected. He, what’s the phrase… “thinks things through.” Yanno, before acting.

Me? Notsomuch.

As I’ve said before, the man keeps me balanced. He stops me from popping off… he checks myself before I wreck myself. And so, I’ve decided to share his sage wisdom with you, in what will hopefully become a recurring sort of advice column. And yes, he has agreed to this, because A) he is pretty damn good at giving advice, and B) he gets to be all judgey, right? And what’s more fun than that.

So bring it on, my dears. Ask him about your friends, your relationships, money… friends who’ve stolen your relationships or money. Question him on sports, that pesky rash, or who will next get punched in the face on Jersey Shore.

The man does it all.

Answers will be posted on Tuesday (or over a couple days if necessary).

Happy Weekend, my friends… and I leave you with my favorite thing that happened to me this week… (thanks to @peteypumpkin for sending it to me, and to @Bboudreau for sending me five more just like it).

The only problem is that now when I listen to this song on the treadmill? I have to literally refrain myself from doing their dance moves.

Sexyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Update: Okay, I think he’s got more than he can handle! I’ll post the answers in a few installments, maybe every Tuesday for a couple weeks. If you had a question you wanted to ask but didn’t get to, don’t worry, I’ll make him ask him nicely do this again. Woot!

*10 points to anyone who gets the movie reference. And by points I mean, go buy yourself a cookie.

P.S. Voting ends this Sunday… love you?

It is New Year’s Eve… and I plan on busting out some SERIOUS dance moves tonight.

Y’all know I have it in me.

For inspiration, I look to Charlie Kelly of “Always Sunny in Philadelphia”…

And so should you.

Happy Two Thousand and TEN, peoples! Say goodbye to the aughts… it is time for a new and even awesome-r era. I, for one, had a fan-freaking-tastic ‘09…

And I just have this funny feeling-in-the-pants 2010 is going to be twice as good.

P.S. Hey… did you get a chance to vote for me on 20SB yet? Just sayin…

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Though I took a break this week, it is indeed TMI Thursday, so here are yours!

(If you’re participating this week, steal the button below…

<a href="http://www.livitluvit.com/category/tmi-thursday" target="_blank"><img src="http://i556.photobucket.com/albums/ss5/Livitluvit/tmithursday.jpg" border="0" alt="TMI Thursday" /></a>

Or, if the picture is, ahem, a bit much… just link back with this link.)

Kim’s TMI Thursday: Please, Just Hair Me Out

Cheddar’s TMI Thursday: Let the Holidays Begin

BigSis’ TMI Thursday: Afterbirth: It’s What’s for Dinner

Carissa Jade’s In which I vlog and am a klutz

Griffin’s TMI Thursday: Meeting OPM and OPM meets Big Balan

Daffy’s I Swallowed Big Birds Head TMI-Thursday

amber murphy’s TMI Thursday: in the style of truth or scare

Just Another Momma’s TMI Thursday – Gimme Some KY

Kaydee’s TMI Thursday: Self Waxing

Dani’s TMI Thursday: it may be the dawning of a new year, but i’m the same old hot mess…

The Peach Tart’s Happy New Year and A Relook at Vajayjay Art

Vittoria’s TMIT: Happy New Year, indeed

JewliaGoulia’s TMI Thursday – 3rd Edition

Coffeypot’s TMI Thursday at Talladega

Hopefully raising a glass with me. Just sayin.

I shall be wearing an adorable purple dress, and this:

See you then!

I want to write a recap. I really, really do.

But honestly… there is just no way I could EVER do this weekend justice. It would be impossible to truly capture. But, for you… I’m going to try.

Use your words…

My favoritest things about this past weekend, a la bullets.

• Maxie admitting she likes 30 Rock.
• All 50 of us bursting into song at Stetson’s. “You say she’s just a friend, but you say she’s just a friend OH BABY YOU!!!!!!!!”
• Actually, all of us bursting into song all weekend long.
• Finally at long last convincing f.B and B to perform “Ebony and Ivory” at karaoke. And by “convincing” I mean “writing their names on the list so they had no choice in the matter”.
• Meeting all the people I’d never groped in person before.
• Stealth-salting everything and everyone in sight.
• Someone shouting “INTERVENTION!!!!!!!!” every 30 seconds.
• Lexa going rampant on people’s heinies all Saturday.
• Much needed brunches and bacon Bloody Marys at Matchbox and Bar Pilar, with a side of laughing so hard it hurt… the entire time.
• Getting awesome and hilarious presents like a pictoral collection of cats wearing wigs, children’s Pooping Instructional books, a penis ice luge, “dirty” Mad Libs, Firefly sweet tea vodka, a pet Snuggie (box altered a la Sharpie to be for a cat instead of dog), a plastic guitar I can drink out of, engraved goblets with our wedding date, some Spanish pornos, an “I Love Jesus” shot glass, some Flava Flav-esque bling, and way, WAY too many vodka and sodas.
• The bartender’s t-shirt at Stetson’s that said “I heart peeing”.
• B treating me like a pretty, pretty princess on my birthday weekend.
• Not vomiting once. (Well, at least not until MONDAY morning… it counts!)
• The sombrero that mysteriously appeared and danced its way over the heads of all #pbandtuna participants.
• Epic dance offs all over the goshdarn place.
• Little lip-liner hearts appearing on people’s chesticles throughout the evening.
• Me going absolutely POSTAL on a strange man who tried to kiss me and pretty much every girl there… and terrifying him to the point that he actually left the bar within about 10 seconds. Do not fuck with me on my special day, Creepy McCreeperson. YOU WILL LOSE.

Our fabulous wedding guests were…

(I hope to Chuck Norris I am not leaving anyone out. PLEASE let me know if I do and I will fix and give you a free dumpster baby or a Tootsie Roll pop or something as reparations.)

12 Minds, A, Alice, anoukange, B, Cavy, Cleveland’s A Plum, Deutlich, dmb5_ libra, DMBosstone, Dysfunction Junction, f.B, flippy, Ginger Mandy, jenniferalaine, JerzeyGrrl, JP, Just A Girl, KassyK, Katertot, Katie Rose, Late- Night Drama Queen, Lemmonex, Lusty Reader, M (Only One Way Down), Malnurtured Snay, Marie, Maxie, Mr. 5280, Pithy Comments, PQ, Rachel Smiles, Restaurant Refugee, Shine Out Loud, Suburban Sweetheart, thebestmichelle, Urban Bohemian,and last but certainly not least, What A Grand World. 

I could not have asked for a better group of people, for reals. And so, as a very special (shameful) treat, I’ve decided to make your ears bleed with a video of the song I serenaded my fiancee with at karaoke on Friday night… there are no words. Please to enjoy.

I’m so ashamed, yet strangely proud… how is that possible?

PB and Tuna is obviously going to be a recurring event. How could we not, after its complete and utter awesome-icity?

Pencil in your calendars, folks. October 23rd, 2010… it’s all going down, AGAIN.

I can’t tell you how many times I looked around at the people surrounding me this weekend and thought, “I am the luckiest person in the whole world.”

And I meant it.

Pictures and videos to come, (coughcough hint to everyone who hasn’t sent me theirs yet) but for right now, I just want to say thanks.

Thanks to everyone who traveled, thanks to B for being a helluva sport, thanks to my lovely wife Maxie for being her awesome self, thanks to everyone who helped keep me sane, thanks to everyone who let someone crash on their couch…

Thanks to everyone for making this weekend so unbelievably perfect that I can’t imagine it being even an iota better than it already was, in any way.

I’ll see you all next year for pbandtuna 2010.

Xoxo,

LiLu

P.S. For risk of leaving someone out, please enter yourself in the Mr. Linky below if you were there on Saturday, so everyone knows how awesome you are for coming out. SMOOCHES!!!

That’s right folks. The infamous birthday/#pbandtuna wedding is finally here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ll be honest, folks. I have been super stressed and freaking out all week.

But now that the big weekend is actually here, I have NOTHING BUT EXCITEMENT churning in my loins.

To everyone who’s coming from out of town:

I am going to lick your faces so damn hard, oh my gaw. You are amazing and totally rock my socks off. Look, they’re totally across the room. (Everyone IN town: you are 9/10 as awesome but don’t feel bad. They really had a leg up on you on this one.

…TWSS.)

To my blushing bride, who wrote the sweetest vows EVAR and made me cry before 8am on my birthday when I read them…

Just you wait until I give you your present today. REVENGE IS A BITCH.

In all serious, I love you so much, Maxie. I don’t know how I existed before you came into my life. You are one of the kindest, funniest, warmest, cuddliest people I have ever known, and I am seriously lucky to call you a friend. (And lovah.)

Tonight we shall snuggle Murray together and it will be GLORIOUS.

All right, y’all. I have a shit ton of stuff to do to get ready, so I’m off. But please to enjoy the one video on the interwebs that makes me happier than anything else in the e-world. It’s an oldie but a goodie…

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

(I am *so* doing these dance moves tomorrow.)

If you’re in DC, don’t forget… the bash is tomorrow at Stetson’s (upstairs) at 16th and U Streets. We’ll be there at 8 sharp to stake it out…

Woot!!!!!!!!!!!

Today, I’m off to see my GBF from college I have seen ONCE since we gradumated in ot six. He lives in West Hollywood, but is in NYC because his company is shooting a movie and he’s a baller like that.

To say I am a wee bit excited would be the understatement of the year.

Tommy, I lub your face and I can’t wait to have another man fondle my boobs for the first time in over a year. B already gave you clearance.

SEE YOU IN SIX HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I’ll be on the ‘berry, so if you’re in the area, shoot me a tweet or an email! Woot!

Seriously, y’all? After all the TMIs I’ve done, yesterday is apparently “the line”? Frankly, I’m shocked. I rescue my toilet from overflowing and scrub my hands vigorously afterwards, and that’s too much for you?? It’s like I was Michael Vick and the offending wad of TP was a sweet, sweet puppy I was beating mercilessly with a blunt object.

No no, I’m not mad. I’m DISAPPOINTED.

Anyseriously, let’s lighten it up around here with a few videos.

Last Friday, I was at one of the divier holes of DC called Recessions. Think insanely cheap mugs of watery beer and crackheads fighting over a pool table. Got it? Okay, good.

So, on Fridays they justsohappen to start karaoke around 9pm. And I knew immediately what had to be done. I put my name in and waited…

And then, when they called me, I looked over at my darling f.B and informed him he was coming up on stage with me. Like, RIGHT THAT SECOND.

I’m a good friend.

(It’s a bit dark, but you’ll get the jist…)

Yes, that’s right. I took f.B’s karaoke V-card by making him RICKROLL A WHOLE GODDAMN BAR WITH ME. (His account of THE INCIDENT here.)

I’m pretty sure it’s my life’s biggest accomplishment.

I hope you can see the running man I busted out around 40 seconds or so. Mostly because it (hopefully) covers up my “singing” voice.

Moving on…

I think everyone’s seen this by now… but JUST IN CASE, I feel like it’s my public duty to share it. Because if you haven’t, I guarantee it WILL get you through those last painful hours of Friday in the office…

“Hi Mom!”

This is because it’s hilarious, especially if you’re from or have ever BEEN to Bahstun…

And THIS is to make up for yesterday. I hereby pledge never to reach into a toilet again. I will let that bish overflow… that’s a TMI in and of itself, if it happened, isn’t it?

Happy weekend, love ducks!

P.S. I wasn’t going to say anything because I wasn’t sure she was posting about it, but my dear friend KassyK recently found out she has skin cancer and is having surgery next week to have it removed. They got it super early and it should be A-OK, but do me two small favors if you can: 1) Go send her some mad love and good vibrations, and 2) GET YOSELFS CHECKED OUT, MOFOS. She’s in her twenties, peoples… it can happen to anyone.

By now, I’m pretty sure everyone and their mother has seen the “Wedding Entrance Dance”…

Well, this morning I discovered the hilarious response video via Herb of DC. I give you the “DIVORCE Entrance Dance”!

Now, of course, Maxie and I need to think up an even AWESOMER response-to-the-response video for our own upcoming nuptuals… ideas??

This find is probably the best thing to ever happen, EVER, in my whole life… (seriously, I beg of you… if you’re a person who ‘doesn’t watch videos’, like I am… CHANGE YOUR MIND, just this once, and watch every last second of this).

This kid left his video camera in the room of his brother, who has just been informed by Mom that his World of Warcraft account has been terminated as punishment for something.

(Found via With Leather).

Honestly, I can’t decide if my favorite part is when he’s screaming “IT’S BURNING!!!”; when he wraps himself in his blanket, writhes in pain, and then magically pops out with all his clothes off (he’s like a MAGICIAN!!!); or when he violently attempts to sodomize himself with his TV remote.

I’m going with the latter.

Now, if that didn’t make your weekend, you are A) soulless or B) don’t take pleasure in the embarrassment of others (why are you here?), or C) really in the mood for some free shit and NOTHING else is gonna do it for you today.

WELL, my friend, if you answered C), you are in luck! Our main man Drew from the fun and sexy online shop Eden Fantasys is being a sport and letting me give away more adult toys. This time, I knew exactly what I wanted for you guys… the very thing most of you commented on last time…

The Hello Kitty Pocket Vibrator!

(Click to check out the whole store.Make sure your boss isn't around first...)

Don’t you just want to hug it and squeeze it and name it George?? This one’s even safe for the mamas, because if your kids find it, they’ll just think it’s a toy!

(Wait… that could also go horribly wrong… oh well.)

Alls you gotta do to enter is leave a comment, any comment. Preferably telling me I’m beautiful or something, but I will also accept e-flaming bags of dog doody. Just don’t call the shit poop, people.

Giveaway will go until 11:59 on Tuesday night.

All right, lovebirds. I am off to The Boonies, Virginia to have some crazy hotel sex- I mean, to go do the chicken dance at a very refined and sophisticated wedding. Have yourselves a merry little weekend!