Surf over to Mags Direct for savings on magazines.

YOU LIKE SMILING. LAUGHING MAKES YOU FEEL HAPPY INSIDE. WHAT A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE YOU ARE.

(If a similar statement currently resides in any of your social media bios, feel free to change it now, and we shall never speak of this again.)

Oh right, my point! How about I go on and make it already.

Because I enjoy mirth and merriment and belly laughs galore, I am a big fan of this gentleman:

“Oh, that guy,” I can hear you say. “Wasn’t he in that thing I saw?”

The answer is yes, friend. Because Michael Ian Black has had a hand in creating more funny things than Maru the Cat internet sensation.

He’s one of those cameo stars who pops into a movie and makes those two minutes shine, a king of sketch comedy (the good stuff – not SNL, obvy), and OWNS Vh1′s “I Love the…” series, which my life would be dark and bleak without. Check out his bio here.

More importantly, he makes people laugh, professionally. And he’ll be doing it here in DC on December 1st at Sixth & I Historic Synagogue, when he performs his new tour, “Black is White”.

Knowing that I am a sucker for all things stand up, they contacted me and asked if I’d like to give away a couple tickets. To which I replied, “Only if the winner takes ME with them.”

(Kidding, probably.)

Anyhoo, if you’ll be in the area then and you LOVE TO LAUGH, simply leave a comment to enter. Tweet this post (suggest text below) for a second entry:

Win tickets to see @michaelianblack in #DC on 12/1: http://bit.ly/qMKKTE #DCevents via @rachaelgk

Winner chosen randomly (and announced here) on Monday, August 8th!

Update: Congratulations to Lindsey, you’re the winner according to Random.org! Thanks everyone for playing.

Mama said share.

Surf over to Mags Direct for savings on magazines.

Housekeeping! *fluffs pillow*

1. I announced yesterday on the Social Media Club – DC blog that I’ve taken over as President! We had such a successful year – even with some organizational challenges and a few people who had to drop out, we still held a high-quality panel or networking event every single month with 50-100 people in attendance. Imagine what we could do WITH a little more organization? So with that said, we’re currently accepting applications for the 2011-2012 SMC-DC Leadership Team. We’ll need people for the Events, Sponsorship, Digital, and Marketing teams (complete descriptions of the committees and roles here). If you or someone you know would be interested, you know what to do!

2. If you’re thinking about applying, or just want to hang out with a kickass group of social media enthusiasts, make sure you come to the SMCDC Summer Social tomorrow night at Co Co Sala. Scoutmob is sponsoring (Wednesday is also their official DC launch date!!) – and they’ll be buying a drink for every single person who downloads their app to their phone.

3. As part of the oh-so-awesome group involved with The Community Manager, I’ve volunteered to help organize the first ever DC Community Management meetup on Tuesday, August 2nd at Elephant & Castle. If you help manage the Facebook page, Twitter account, or other online community for your business or group, we’d love to have you! Register here.

4. I’ll be speaking at the D.C. Humanities Council “Humantini” on the “ABC’s of DC: Americans, Blogs, and Culture” on August 10th at Tabaq on U Street. It promises to be a grand old time…

5. I’ll also be speaking on the Baltimore Social Media Club’s panel on “Blogging and Social Media“ on August 11th with Jill of Scary Mommy, Scott Paley of Abstract Edge, and Sunday Stilwell of Adventures in Extreme Parenthood. I’d love to see some of you there (where my Bmore people at?!)

Mama said share.

This post is sponsored by Cipo and Baxx Clubwear.

Last night, I had the pleasure of meeting a plethora of lovely DC ladies IRL for the first time. I immediately fell in love with Noe, as we chattered about our adorable awkwardness as human beings, the nerdalicious books we’re reading, and pondered why people are by and large unable to accept compliments from strangers.

(Preach.)

There were a two lovely girls behind us, enjoying each other’s company at the bar as they split a cheese plate (yes, I noticed because it was CHEESE. What’s your point?)

Suddenly, a deep voice boomed behind me, clearly directed at one of the girls:

“Excuse me, miss, but are you from Tennessee?”

Startled, I heard her hesitate.

“Um, no…”

“Well that’s funny… because you’re the only TEN I see!!”

Noe and I immediately doubled over with secret guffaws, shoulders shaking, clutching each other’s hands in a desperate attempt to control the peals of laughter.

It was a magical moment. I mean, this really HAPPENS? Even with my back to him, I could tell this guy completely deadpanned this. He wasn’t making a joke, or trying to be kitschy – he was 100%, in for a penny in for a pound, go big or go home, completely and totally serious.

Men of the world, please, please don’t do this. Cheesy pick-up lines – even if you ARE making a joke – are just not funny. You know what you should try? One of my all time favorites:

“Hi. I’m ____.”

Oy.

Mama said share.

Save 66% on an Us Weekly subscription with no auto renewal.

Now, I can dress myself. Rather well, I might add. BUT.

I am, like most of the female population, one of those girls who never has anything to wear. I can barely get into my walk-in closet thanks to all the crap in there, and this is still the case. I buy pieces that I love, but have trouble turning them into outfits. It takes me twenty minutes just to pick my clothes in the morning, and I generally go through five outfits before I find something I don’t hate.

This should not be the case.

So when I saw the opportunity to have a “strategic shopping” session with Kaarin Moore of Closet Caucus that promised to help me sort through my wardrobe woes, I was curious. And after I googled a bit, I decided that she sounded legit (and just lovely to boot), so why not give it a shot?

(She’s also on Twitter, which automatically makes me like any company about 50% more.)

Before our session, she asked me a zillion questions about my style, personality, and what I liked to do. (Me: “Does ‘mimosas’ count as a hobby?”) So when we met up in Georgetown last week, she already had a solid idea of where I was coming from and what I needed to accomplish. We spent a while discussing what I had in my wardrobe already (thereby determining which staples we were on the hunt for that day), and discussing strategies for optimizing my closet as a whole, so that my pieces would all easily fit together and I’d never be left struggling with that WHAT TO WEAR?! question again.

Next, we hit the streets. First, I needed the perfect Little Black Dress, as I hate the 10 or so already in my closet. About five minutes later, we walked out of White House Black Market with an absolutely perfect, high quality, flattering LBD. You’ll probably see it on me at the next happy hour, so get ready, y’all.

After that, JEANS. We headed into Levi’s (Her: “Levi’s has been doing great things lately…” Me: “I don’t care what the label says, as long as they make my ass look good.”) and headed upstairs… to see 4,294 pairs of jeans. I trembled in fear, while Kaarin marched me to a dressing room and returned in five minutes with three pairs.

The first fit well, but wasn’t quite IT.

The second was so perfect, I didn’t even try on the third.

Yes, that’s right. Homegirl found my Cinderella Jeans in TWO. TRIES.

We hit a few other stores where I found some perfect summer dresses for my weddings and conferences I have this summer, a couple adorable cardis, and more. The whole time I was completely comfortable – shopping with Kaarin was honestly more like shopping with a BFF who really knew her shit. (I didn’t hold back – she got the full Rachael… and she didn’t bat an eye. This chick? Is cool.)

The one thing I couldn’t find was the perfect black blazer. A few hours after our session, Kaarin emailed me a link to the exact kind we’d been looking for.

She also sent me an invite to ideeli.com, which, after looking around there, means my wallet is in a LOT of trouble. (If you want an invite, let me know in the comments. I’ll make it happen.)

Now, I know this whole thing sounds like she paid me tons of money to write it.

She didn’t. Not a cent. But after telling a few of my besties about it, they all said they’d be interested in something like this, so I wanted to share. (She’ll also come over to your house and clean out your closet for you, which will probably be my next purchase…)

Anyway, the only thing I’m getting out of this writeup is a 10% discount for you:

Closet Caucus is a fashion and wardrobe consulting company located in Washington, DC. Stylist Kaarin Moore was inspired to start her own business when she found herself becoming the go-to shopping companion for her friends and their friends. Kaarin has a passion for helping clients, from those who are body conscious to clients who are completely uninhibited.

So go forth and fix your wardrobes, ladies. And do it under the guiding hand of Kaarin Moore. (Cinderella jeans. TWO TRIES. You just can’t beat that.)

Mama said share.

If you know me at all, you know that the #1 way to my heart is the thought of homeless cats and kittens never finding their Forever Home. So you can understand why I melted when this popped up in my inbox:

“I volunteer at a no-kill cat shelter in Alexandria, Virginia called King Street Cats. We take in all sorts of kitties, and all our money comes from donations and a big portion from our upcoming fundraising event. I’ve attached a press release outlining the party on June 3.

Bottom line: We’s be poh’ and we are in dire need of cash since kitten season is quickly approaching. Even if people can’t make the event, any donations are GREATLY welcomed. We’re always looking for crazy cat ladies and gents who might be looking to volunteer as well!”

Here’s the press release for the June 3rd event, which sounds like a blast. (If you can’t make it, send a few dollars instead!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

KING STREET CATS TO HOST ‘PURRFECT’ THEATER NIGHT FUNDRAISER

Join KSC for a Night of Theater, Hors d’oeuvres, and a Silent Auction!

(Alexandria, Virginia) – Local cat orphanage King Street Cats (KSC) will host its highly successful annual Theater Night fundraiser on Friday, June 3, 2011 at 7pm. This entertaining event will be held at the Little Theatre of Alexandria, featuring the British comedy, “Move Over Mrs. Markham.” The event will raise money to support KSC’s goals of finding loving homes for all cats and kittens in their care and providing community outreach regarding cat welfare. The event promises an enjoyable evening of theater, hors d’oeuvres, and a silent auction.

Tickets for the event are $40 in advance or $50 at the door (if available). All ticket purchases and donations are tax deductible. Tickets can be purchased by visiting the Website at www.kingstreetcats.org.

Vivien Bacon, board president of KSC, said: “We are thrilled to welcome the community and friends to our 5th annual Theater Night fundraiser. The evening will be a wonderful social night and will serve to help us raise much needed funds to support our goal of finding forever homes for all the cats and kittens in our care. As a completely volunteer-operated organization, we could not survive without the support of the community through their donations.”

KSC, formerly known as The Albert Foundation, was founded in 2003 and is proud to be the only no-kill, cat-exclusive orphanage in Alexandria. KSC saves the lives of 200 cats who have run out of time and options; giving them another chance at life and at finding them the loving forever homes they deserve. KSC provides the care and medical attention they need until a new home of their own is found. KSC is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization that is entirely volunteer operated and is located at 25 Dove Street, Alexandria, VA.

Mama said share.

There are many different types of blogs in this world. Industry blogs, dating blogs, financial blogs, news blogs, pop culture blogs, mommy blogs… you name it, someone’s writing about it.

But what I consider this place to be, and the type of blog I relate to, are “lifestyle” blogs. People who talk about the interesting things that happen to them; momentous life events, hopes and dreams, funny stories, and the like. And if I had to wager a guess, the vast majority of posts from these blogs involve one little thing we can ALL relate to:

VENTING.

Delightfully exaggerated, unadulterated hatred for the minute, yet uncompromisingly annoying day-ins and day-outs of our lives. The endless atrocities that strangers, traffic, and small children commit against us each and every day. Dare I say, a lot of this very blog revolves around such things; in fact, if you click on my post category “hatred“, there are some 25 posts there alone. While I don’t think this is unusual, as writing is often a therapeutic outlet for frustration, I do sometimes worry that all you guys see of me is the haterade. It’s only natural- we as humans are much more likely to share a bad experience than a good one, because dammit, commiseration feels GOOD, yo. But I don’t want that to be the only side of me shown here.

Truly, I am a lover. I love LOTS of stuff. I love dive bars, wine, red meat, brunch, cats, rollercoasters, cheeseburgers, and- believe it or not- even a sizeable handful of people in this world.

(Sidebar: while we’re on this topic, are you one of those people who says you “love to laugh” in your social media bio? Because ZOMG YOU MUST BE THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD WHO LIKES THAT! You are so original. I bet you also don’t like having the flu, and that you prefer Fridays to Mondays! Let’s bond over our mutual affinity for being happy rather than sad together!!)

Whoops… a little venting fell out. Moving on!

So, to mix it up, here’s some of the GOOD in my life – those little things that will make me love you, almost as quickly as standing on the left side of the escalator will make me shank you.

What?

Things That Will Make Me Instantly Adore You:

(thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much!)

Making a “there’s always money in the banana stand…” reference.

Belting out a song in public, karaoke or impromptu. (Extra points as the song gets more embarrassing.)

Giving your seat on the bus to a lady, a munchkin, someone older, etc.

Being fully aware of, accepting, and openly discussing your flaws (not in a debbie-downer way; just a self aware, “I’m working on this” way).

Admitting when you’re wrong.

Giving me an honest opinion in the dressing room. I am depending on you to set me up for (booty) success, here.

Expressing a love for meat. (Extra points for meat wrapped in other meat.)

YES and also PLEASE.

Not being afraid to cancel our grandiose plans of sight-seeing or museums in favor of getting tipsy and people watching. (Also see: recognizing the inherent value in getting tipsy and people watching).

Showing up at my house with an awesomely bad movie and three bottles of wine… for the two of us.

Openly weeping tearing up at children’s movies. (Up, Wall-E, Toy Story 3, I’m looking at you.)

Getting me a wee present when you go on vacation, just because you wished I was there.

Knowing that women have a right to their bodies, and everyone has a right to get married.

Only judging me a little when I openly mock jeggings for months, and then maybe sort of buy a pair… (only for boots! I swear!)

Tipping the bartender… well.

Not having a ginormous stick up your ass. (This shouldn’t be as hard to find as it is.)

Surrounding yourself with quality people who are funny, welcoming, and also don’t have ginormous sticks up their asses.

Come to think of it, I may just change my Twitter bio to “I totally don’t have a stick up my ass, even if I did hypocritically buy a pair of jeggings.” Thoughts?

Mama said share.

Well, Merry belated Festivus to me! I woke up this morning to find out I’ve been nominated, along with a host of other awesome twatterers, as one of the Washington Post’s “DC Top Tweeps 2010″ in the (very appropriate) category of “Favorite Social Butterfly”.

(There’s an enormous trophy involved, right? I don’t think I’ve ever won a trophy other than for “being on a soccer team when I was 12″ so that would be really nice. Especially after watching The League for two seasons, I’m convinced that our apartment is tragically empty without a Shiva.)

Anyhoodle, as someone who dearly loves this fair city, and the time I spend hanging out with friends new and old in it, it would be an absolute honor to be recognized for my adoration of DC and to know that love is returned. Either way, it’s thrilling just to be nominated, and it just makes me love this city- my HOME- even more.

Anyone can vote (it takes just a few clicks and there are zero log ins required), so if you’d like to (yay!), just click the picture or link below:

D.C.’s Top Tweeps 2010: Voting is OPEN!

(thru midnight on New Year’s Eve, winners announced Monday, January 3rd- also my first day at my Shiny New Job!!)

My group is the last one, so check out the awesome categories before mine and the deserving people (like @LexaLemmy for DC Area Blogger!) in those as well, on your way to my Social Butterfly category.

Aaaaand enough about me. What’s new with you? How was your holiday? Did any of your relatives get drunk and humiliate themselves? Do tell.

Mama said share.

Monday was, to put it mildly, not a good day.

It was a day of bleak, of gray, of complete and utter desolate-ness. It was a world where unicorns really don’t exist, where kittens never play patty-cake, where you do shoot your eye out with the BB gun.

In sum, I woke up that morning, after a glorious five day vacation, and was physically ill at the idea of going back to my sad, dreary little cubicle, where I spend 40 hours a week with very nice people… that I have nothing in common with, while doing nothing that I love.

Old news, I know. And nobody likes a whiner.

So- after I whined a bit- I finally reached down, deep inside myself, and found my get up and go shut up and keep plodding along.

Because yes, the job hunt is hard. It’s exhausting. It’s disappointing and demeaning and UTTERLY SPIRIT-CRUSHING, at times.

But. If I know anything to be true, it’s the fact that pouting in a corner isn’t going to change a damn thing. (Insert “nobody puts Baby in a” joke here.)

And while many of you have gone above and beyond in your kind words and encouragement regarding me and my talents and whatnot (seriously, bearhugs’nstuff), I think it’s about time I started, oh, what’s that corny phrase again? The one in Pixar movies and fairy tales and Rocky sequels?

Oh, right. “Believing in myself.”

(Is there a way to add glitter to that sentence?)

I just google-imaged "believe in yourself" and this was the only picture that didn't make me want to hurl.

So. It’s time for a little self-love, since I didn’t get any of this action when I went through TSA last week.

REASONS WHY I AM AWESOME
AND YOU SHOULD PROBABLY HIRE ME

(Or tell your boss to hire me.)

(You know, if you actually need someone in the Social Media/Digital Marketing department.)

(Or the “pet the kitties” department. I’d be good at that too.)

1. Since I was ten years old,  I’ve been training to be the brain-storming champion of the world. Ever hear of a little thing called Odyssey of the Mind? No? That’s okay, no one has. But know this: while you spent your childhood playing soccer and selling Girl Scout Cookies, I was off strengthening my creative muscles to be somebody’s idea (wo)man in a 2.0 world someday.

2. I can work unicorns into the conversation at ANY time to diffuse an awkward or uncomfortable situation.

3. I am beyond “plugged in” to the 20- and 30-somethings culture; in some circles, I might even be called a pillar of it. And I dare you to make a pop culture or internet meme joke I won’t get.

4. My degree may be in International Politics and Psychology, rather than Communications. But everything that I’m skilled at- social media, event planning, marketing, writing, networking- are all, in this day and digital age, hopelessly intertwined and (I believe) learned intuitively, by doing, and by possessing a natural inclination for them- more than any Communications degree could ever accomplish. (And hey, MTV doesn’t come knocking on just anyone’s door to be their first Twitter Jockey.)

5. I’m ready for a company and career that I can truly devote myself to, and when I give, I give BIG. Take my heart, now. Go on… take it!!!

6. I’m not just good with people; I can truly talk to anyone or anything. Seriously. Leave me alone with your wall for an hour and I’ll be a bridesmaid at its wedding. Oh, you didn’t know it was dating the couch? Don’t feel bad- we’re just close like that.

7. I’m actually really, really good at this social media/digital marketing shiz. And it’s not just my mom saying so, because she doesn’t understand most of it. So there.

8. And finally, because every office needs their very own Liz Lemon.

Come on, now. How you gonna turn THIS down?

So feel free to pass my LinkedIn profile along. Click that “share” button below and send this post here, there and everywhere. Add it to your email signature, perhaps, or include it on your holiday cards. I’ve always liked your family.

You’ve brought me so far, my beloved interwebs. Let us conquer this one last hill together, you and I. Someone grab my bootstraps and pull, y’all. I feel my nine hundredth wind coming on.

All I want for Christmas… is a SHINY NEW JOB.

(that I love.)

Mama said share.

Ladies and germs, come on dowwwwwn to the Greatest Show/Hot Mess/Birthday Party/Epic to End All Epicness in the World!!!!

This Saturday I, along with my co-birthday gals Maxie & Liz, most of DC, and friends from California to Colorado to Pennsylvania to New York to Chicago to Seattle will be coming together to celebrate the amazing, the awesome, the helluva hot mess that is

We’ll be launching the PARTAY (hey! ho! hey! ho!) at Sign of the Whale (18th and M, Farragut North) at 8pm this Saturday evening, with no end in sight. Put on your big girl panties, your drinking hat, and come on out for a Grand Ole Time. Just say “PB and Tuna” at the door, and they’ll usher you into our top secret back room area, where we will enjoy $3 domestics, $3 rail drinks, and $4 SWEET TEA VODKAS, YO.

For more where/when/who info, and to RSVP (not required, but your mama raised you right, yes?)- please just click that big disgusting PB & Tuna button up there. For more reasons to show your pretty face and for pictures from last year’s event, check out my lovely lady Maxie’s post.

Can’t wait to see you all!!!!!!!!!

Mama said share.

If you’re local to DC (or my amigo on Foursquare), you probably know that Tonic of Mount Pleasant is my local watering hole and personal Cheers bar. You probably also heard about the tragic Mount Pleasant fire a couple weeks ago. Well, I went in for a drink last night and found out that three of the burn victims included one of Tonic’s own line cooks, his wife, and their four year old daughter.

The details are below, but the bottom line is this: if you can donate even $5 or $10, you’ll be helping them towards what is sure to be an impossibly difficult (and expensive) recovery. And, bonus- it would mean the world to me. If you’re short on moola and still want to help, feel free to forward this email, and/or share the following on Twitter/FB:

Help the family who lost everything in the Mt Pleasant fire- click the “Help Byron” tab to find out how: http://tonicrestaurant.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This can be seen on Tonic’s website with the donation link- just click the “Help Byron” tab on the bottom- the one that looks like this:

Donations for Byron and His Family:
 
On September 29th at 3:45am, an apartment building in the Mt. Pleasant neighborhood of Washington DC caught fire. One of our Tonic family’s longest tenured employees — Byron Paredes — lived in that building with his family. Byron and his wife suffered third degree burns over much of their body and will be spending at least two months in the hospital. Their four year old daughter was flown to a burn trauma center in Boston with third degree burns over her face and body. They lost everything in the fire.

Anything you can provide – even if it is just a dollar – can help pay medical bills and buy them clothes, toiletries, food, everything we take for granted on a daily basis. For direct donations, please click on the paypal link below or for additional information, or cash donations contact Elizabeth Lettic at 202-560-2858, or by sending mail to the following address:

Tonic at Quigley’s Pharmacy
2036 G st. NW
Washington DC
20052 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Additionally, I will be attending this fundraiser at Tonic Mount Pleasant TONIGHT to support Byron and his family- please come if you’re in town!!

Friday Night Raffle & Fundraiser
Date: Friday, October 15, 2010
Time: 7:15 AM – 12:00 AM

Tonic Mount Pleasant will host a raffle to raise money for the family of one of our employees who suffered severe injuries as a result of the recent devastating fire in Mt Pleasant. Byron & his wife are currently in intensive care at Washington Hospital Center & their four year old daughter was flown to a burn center in Boston. Get here early to get a raffle ticket for the 7:15pm Raffle.

Thanks for your help in any way you can!!

Mama said share.