So. I had a positively scrumptious time this weekend in Beantown.

OBVIOUSLY.

And I am A) exhausted from the funsies and B) get to spend the day packing!!! Which, to B, means desperately trying to throw away sort through all of “my junk”.

Communist.

I wish I could put a camera up in the apartment for the day… this shiz ain’t gonna be pretty.

So for yous guyses, this means you get some pretty, pretty highlights. (Don’t worry, they’re the very expensive kind done by a professional gay man- no brassiness here!)

The scene: Dinner with my parents, B, my Lil Sis, and her boyfriend on Friday night. Fun fact: Lil Sis has been aching for a dog for months now, and had planned on getting one when she moves in with her bf in a month.

The highlight:

Mom: So what kind of dog do you want, Lil Sis?

Lil Sis: (As her face falls) We’re not allowed to have one at the new apartment.

Mom: Awwwww, so you’re not getting a puppy?

Lil Sis: No. YOU were the one who told me NOT to!

Mom: Well, no, you shouldn’t. It’s expensive and a lot of responsibility. But… puppy…

Lil Sis: Unbelievable.

LiLu: Oh, come on. It’s just like if your 16 year old daughter gets knocked up! You don’t WANT it to happen… but once the baby’s here, you’re still going to love it!

*crickets*

My poor family.

The scene: Meeting up with Boston’s most fabulous bloggers (and a few other travelers as well) at The Globe Bar for drunkety times. The crew: (if I forgot you, please to forgive, and let me know! It is so very early…) My lovely Julie, brookem, Pilgrim Jill, Hannah, Julie Q, Susan, Emrlds, Alana, A Super Girl, and in some cases, their justly terrified boyfriends, made it the best time any blogger could ask for.

The highlight: Jill Pilgrim double dog daring me to offer Susan’s virginity to a random guy hitting on her for the price of three goats. Which, obviously, I did in approximately 2.5 seconds… at which point we found out it was a friend of hers, and now we had to hang out with him for the rest of the night and be “Those Weird Girls” all evening.

Whatevs. The shoe fits.

Also? All of this happened.

Pretending to be classy. What?

You can’t see that I’m grabbing Jill’s bum.

In a word: FINALLY!!! <3

There is some hate sex in here.

Gawd, I love this woman. ALLLLL of her, apparently…

Tiger hands for Maxie!

Why I oughta…

We bloggers get friendly quick.

The boys entertained themselves just fine…

Sure. I mean, clearly.

Hiccups are a BITCH, yo.

Love you hookers.

Yeah. So. The awesomest of AWESOME. And that is all I have to say about that.

Except get all your asses down to DC so we can do it again soon. LUFF YOU BISHES!!!!!!

The scene: B’s sister getting mawwied!

The highlight: Everything. Jewish weddings are so much more fun! There was breaking of stuff, chairs in the air, a dancing train through the entire room, and incredible view, and a few speeches that even moved my cold dead hooker heart.

A sample from the mother of the groom’s toast:

“When my boys were little, I always changed the descriptions of the princesses in fairytales to say “kind” and “intelligent” instead of “beautiful”. I am so incredibly glad that my son has chosen to share his life with a woman who is kind and intelligent… as well as beautiful.”

*cue heartwrench*

All in all? Best. Weekend. Ever.

And now, we pack…

Sigh.

Mama said share.

I remember, a couple years ago now, how afraid I was to even start this blog. A good friend of mine (and my mother, although she doesn’t know that she succeeded…) insisted on it to the point where I didn’t really have a choice.

Of course, I read and admired the blogs of others… but the idea of meeting them? Well, that didn’t even cross my mind at first. Scary with a capital S! I (yes, I) was totally and completely intimidated by the idea. I saw posts about Happy Hours go up, but never dreamed of going.

And then, one day, I emailed one of my favorites, Lemmonex. We wrote back and forth a few times. Then (gasp!) we even gchatted a bit. Finally, we took the plunge… and met for lunch one day.

Over a year later, I honestly can’t imagine my life without her. And the countless other bloggy friends I’ve made that you read about here each and every day. It’s a list that keeps growing, too, and I just fucking love it.

All this blathering is basically my way of saying, come out next Friday. Come to Evolve, a little bar in Adams Morgan (but just off the kids’ main strip- map here), and have a beer or eight with us. The joint’s small enough that you won’t wonder where we are, (which also makes it easier for me to ambush greet you at the door with a big bear hug).

Bring a friend, bring your teddy bear, or just bring your fabulous self. I promise we won’t leave you hanging.

If you’re planning on coming, steal this pic so your people know to come too. The more the merrier, of course.

And please feel free to email me with any comments/questions/offers to buy me drinks: heylivitluvit at gmail dot com.

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Other things that made my Friday fabulous…

My love Briana sent me this video via Facebook yesterday. I was astonished when they came out with “designer” animal print Snuggies, but I think they may have finally gone too far…

At least now I know what the kittens are getting for Christmas! Especially if they keep dousing B in his own urine for my personal amusement.

Next up, I couldn’t help but Twitter this last night, so I’m sorry for the repeat… but oh my god, we saw this on Tosh.0 last night and B and I were literally laughing so hard tears were streaming down our cheeks. Which may or may not have something to do with the fact that he had a cooler o’ booze next to us on the couch, but whatevs. Click to enlarge…

25 to 70?? But NOT 24 or 71… he has standards, clearly. But he’s not gay! Just a little mutual touching among friends. I can’t decide what the bigger enticement is… kicking the trains like monsters, or all the imitation crabmeat I can eat. I told B he should sacrifice himself to go over there and get us some of that delicious surplus of faux crab, but he wasn’t having it. I can’t imagine why…

And finally, my sweet Carolina girl and BFFie Kristin is a much better person than I. She’s heading up here in October to run the Marines Marathon for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, provided she can raise enough money. I asked her to write a little blurb below so you can read her story for yourself, but let me throw me two cents in here and just say I know we’re all broke, I know this economy blows massive chunks, but if you can spare anything, any little bit helps. Plus, free karma! Oh wait… not free… but you know what I mean. Check it out below, or, if I’ve already convinced you, Donate Here!

(And a huge thanks to my friend Big Money Tony for his super generous donation last week. You have karma coming out your ears, my dear!)

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Hola chicas! (and fellas) It’s Kristin here, LiLu’s UNC pee partner in crime (btw, I am not as fugly in real life as I look in those pics). LiLu was kind enough to allow me to post a bit about something I’ve been working on for the past few months in hopes that a few of you may be able to help me out.

This past May I ran my first marathon (yep, it’s 26.2 miles) and once I crossed the finish line I knew I was hooked! (And really, really smelly. Ask M, she was unfortunate enough to have to hug me after that.) So I started looking into which one I should run next, and obvi, I picked the 2009 Marine Corps Marathon so I would have a free place to stay get to hang out with LiLu and B! But I also picked MCM because I could run with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Team in Training Program.

Team in Training is a group of dedicated volunteer runners who train together for a marathon or an Olympic Distance triathlon. But our bigger mission is to raise funds to help stop leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin lymphoma and myeloma from taking more lives.

I’m working to raise over $3,500 for LLS, and I’m almost there! As of Thursday, I only need $888 to reach my goal. Can you help me out? You can donate here quickly, safely and with a sweet shot of good karma for your Friday BONUS, it’s a tax write off! Suhweet.

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Happy weekend, darlins. I better see you out next Friday!!! xo

Mama said share.

Hi there, lovebirds!

I know it’s only been a week since the last Shiz My Boyfriend Says… but so many of you were all “this is my favorite thing in the whole world, even more than orgasms and grandma’s cooking,” that I’ve decided to go ahead and drop another on you today.

(What? That’s not, um, exactly what you said?)

CREATIVE LICENSE, mofos!!!

Now on with the show.

Upon arriving home from my travels this week, lounging on the couch. B has had an approximately 4,000 hour-long work day.

LiLu: Baby, we finally get to DO IT tonight! Don’t you want to have the sex?

B: Of COURSE I do. You’re sexy and I want to put my penis in ALL your holes!

LiLu: Aw, darlin… you’re so sweet!

On the couch, B has discovered a small pustule on his elbow…

LiLu: Is that a pimple?! Don’t gleek pimple juice on me!

B: Oh, I’ll shoot it right in your mouth! (Aims)

LiLu: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Don’t shoot don’t shoot!

B has just made dinner, and then we hit our magic window of sexin’…

LiLu: Thanks for dinner, darling.

B: You’re welcome! Thanks for your pussy.

LiLu: Of course. That’s why I just had sex with you right now.

B: We’ve got this compromise thing DOWN.

B is cuddling Murray on his lap… keep in mind, Murray (“boy kitty”) is super sweet, whereas Axe Murderer “girl kitty” is a little more… rambunctious. Go figure.

B: Awww, he’s so cute! I’m totally gay for boy kitty.

LiLu: (picks up phone and starts typing)

B: You’re twittering that aren’t you! Whatever, I don’t care. That’s why I wanted girl kitty to not be an asshole!

LiLu: I am NOT twittering it…

(I was saving it for THIS! Duh.)

Happy weekend, poodlekins!

Mama said share.

Said while watching Man vs. Wild:

LiLu: You have an ENORMOUS man-crush on Bear.

B: Baby, you might be able to give me an awesome blow job… but Bear can build me a fire WHEREVER AND WHENEVER I WANT IT.

I love you, baby. But I don’t have to like understand you right now.

Mama said share.