Confession time: I hate bucket lists.
And 30 before 30 lists, and vision boards, and any other kind of seemingly trite goal-setting vehicle.
It’s not that they aren’t worthy aspirations for one’s life. And hey, if I didn’t set deadlines, I’d never get anything done. But there’s just something about hearing someone list off a bunch of clichés like “visit six continents” and “learn two new languages” that makes me involuntarily roll my eyes and dry heave a bit.
You know what my goal is? What my vision board looks like?
Like this:
It even has buckets! (See what I did there?)
Would all the ridiculous, generic things on those lists really make you happy? Would running a marathon, just to be able to say you did, really bring you joy? A bit of pride, perhaps – (and I know there are those of you who actually do get off on running long distances, though I’ll never claim to understand you) – but setting goals like that seem more about making you feel good about trying to be a better person, than about actually enjoying life.
I hereby propose that instead of trying to climb a mountain, or read 50 books a year, or teach yourself Swahili – why not make a list for the things that actually make your life more fun? The things that actually make you happy?
I’ll go first. Here are some of my most pressing goals for the foreseeable future:
1. Attend the Puppy Bowl. With backstage passes.
2. Be the Bea Arthur of my own Golden Girls house one day. (Preferably with a side of Blanche.)
3. Discover, devour and anoint the Official Most Wonderful-est Cheeseburger in all the land.
4. Visit Cat Island in Japan.
5. Accidentally (or by way of stalking) meet and strike up a conversation with Adam Scott, who then lets me ruffle his hair.
6. Make a ridiculously funny person genuinely laugh, like Louis CK or Tina Fey.
7. Have a nickname (a real one, not the fake one I tried to give myself in college. And NO, I will not tell you that story.)
8. Continue to karaoke my heart out til the day I die.
9. Inspire a missed connection on Craigslist.
10. Own a mini pig named Tobias. (This is my #1 goal for 2012, and yes, I’m already on a waiting list.)
Is this shallow of me? Perhaps.
I may never go skydiving, or do a triathlon, or write my memoirs.
But I will spend every minute of every day I possibly can striving to be happy, no matter what shape or form that takes. And I don’t feel bad about that. Not for one second.
{ 90 comments }
“Confession time: I hate bucket lists.
And 30 before 30 lists, and vision boards, and any other kind of seemingly trite goal-setting vehicle.”
Isn’t that what Pinterest is?
For some people, perhaps. It’s not for me. Like any social media platform, it is what you make of it.
I fully support and squeal with glee re: your mini pig goal while at the same time being insanely jealous of your mini pig acquisition.
Understandable on all counts.
I LOVE IT!!
Haha, yay!
Re: 2.
YES…but only if I can be Sophia. I am destined to be a bad-ass Sicilian grandma.
Done and done. Now to find our Rose…
You know where pigs are really happy? The hill country. In a big back yard. In our amazing country house. Next door to a vineyard. Just in back of our studio. I’m just sayin….
Trust me, Toby and I will be visiting often. (I wonder if you can take a pig on a plane…)
I love your bucket list. It is not, nor never will be on my bucket list to go to outer space, or eat a canoli in egypt, or visit the titanic via submarine. I have a few life goals, and a few adventurous things I’d like to do, but mainly I just want to be happy. And do things/accomplish things that will truely make me happy.
Amen to that. Simple, beautiful, and attainable – ha!
My bucket list contains one thing
No. 1 Don’t kick it…
Not sure this is obtainable but I’m going to give it a good go…
I’m a bit worried about your No. 10, how bad would it be if when your mini pig turns up and he is not named Tobias??
Oh, I will find Tobias, specifically. Trust me, I know he’s out there.
That is probably the best item to have on a bucket list
Though eventually, we all have to kick it (until technology allows otherwise).
Hmmm…well I guess this is where I comment to say that I think that (being as we are all very different people) goals/bucket lists/vision boards are all very specific to the person and I don’t think it’s fair to shoot down other peoples goals just because they seem cliched in your mind.
No matter what you call it, we all have things we want to accomplish in life. So what if they’re trite and annoying things like “climb a mountain” or “run a marathon” or “visit all six continents.” What’s so wrong with wanting to do those things? Who says that doing these things actually won’t make people happy? I make no apologies in striving to do things that millions of other people also want to do as long as it’s really something I’m interested in doing.
Running marathons and the like actually DO make me happy, but that’s because I’m very different in what I enjoy than you are. Not just because I feel like I’m trying to be a better person, but because doing things that literally push my body to the extreme make me feel alive, like I’m growing stronger, becoming more of the person I want to be. Those are the things I have found I really enjoy, things that make me smile when I’m finished, things I can enjoy with others who are pushing themselves to the limit right next to me.
We’re all on the quest to happiness but what makes it so interesting is that we all have very different paths to get there.
I’m not commenting here to rant just because I’m a marathon runner and I’m offended, I’m not at all, I totally get people not understanding distance running. I guess my point is more that we all have things we enjoy and want to accomplish, and whether it’s owning a pet pig or climbing Everest, as long as it makes us happier, then who are we to judge how cliched it is?
I feel like by now you would know how I write, lady. A lot of this is facetious, and obviously I’m just expressing my own point of view. It wasn’t meant as an attack by any means – I even put a disclaimer in the post specifically for you.
I didn’t take it as an attack at all and I wasn’t offended. Just felt the need to point out that we all have different things in life that make us happy, and it sucks to be made fun of because your goals in life aren’t as “cool” as other people’s goals.
I’m not making fun of anyone – just expressing a personal preference.
Thanks for this article, Rachel. I too grow weary of hearing and reading about all the “things” that a person must achieve by some arbitrary time in order to feel either accomplished or worthwhile.
I have seen first hand how the constant reminders of the 101 in 1001 have depleted the joy from the lives of many who set them. And made those who cannot come up with 101 things feel less worthy.
I echo the mantra of pursing happiness because is the third item in a list of freedoms granted to us by our Creator and government. And its OK to be happy with a pig in a swimming pool, or loving your job at a garage or just wanting to have children or wanting to go to Six Flags over GA more than wanting to go to the nation of Georgia.
My biggest and number one goal is to find a place to call home and settle there. I am tired of being a nomad. Everything else can fall into place behind that for all I care.
I think that’s an absolutely lovely goal, and it’s a good feeling when you get to that place, I imagine. I myself am about to go nomadic again… ah, life!
Hear, hear! I, too, hate these lists, though my reasoning stems from the fact that I can barely think about next week, much less my five year plan!
SO, so true, haha! I’m right there with you on that.
I have ‘Visit all seven contenients’ on my list. And that may not be awesome to you (with the dry heaving and all), but I’ve stood on 4 different continents so far and each different continent has shown me something new, changed my perspective somehow, and made me step up. I’ve seen the Australian Outback with their wild kangaroos, I’ve enjoyed the best snow I’ve ever snowboarded on in Canada, danced in front the pyramids in Egypt + laughed with Parisians on the Seine because my French sucks. All of these things were amazing, and each experience has shown me something phenomenal, and phenomenal things make me incredibly happy.
I know your question was rhetorical, but yeah, the experiences that the generic ‘see all seven contenients’ goal have produced have been anything but trite or cliché, and they made me more than happy. *shrug* They may not work for you, but for others they could be positively brilliant.
Exactly what I was trying to say, but way more eloquent. Well said.
The things you’ve listed here are specific and fascinating and interesting experiences; far more so than the vague “visiting x number of continents”. That’s an entirely different thing, to me. And yes, they all sound absolutely phenomenal, and are (individually) things I’d add to my list in a heartbeat.
Especially the kangaroos. I heart kangaroos.
I agree, they are specific experiences, but I couldn’t have named them so at the start. They are a direct result of having ‘Visit all seven continents of the world’ on my list, and when I wrote such an ambiguous goal it was because I knew each visit would be amazing, but not what exactly would make it amazing. So then, if I found the direct result of my vague goal brilliant, and it produced brilliant things, could I not call my vague goal itself also brilliant? I think it’s just that everyone has a very different perspective on what a boring or cliché goal is, or what it could produce and that’s cool. What makes me happy may not make another happy.
Being happy is the most important thing. I have a bunch of ideas and creative pursuits that I want to flesh out and see realized, but I’ve also never been a fan of bucket lists. Except when it comes to watching An Idiot Abroad Bucket List, that show is awesome.
Never heard of it! Adding to my to do list…
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW did I not know about Cat Island? Time to update my Asian itinerary for the summer!
WHEN ARE WE GOING THAT IS ALL.
Rachael, I wholeheartedly agree — *now* is the time to live, before we all get run over by a bus (physical or metaphorical). BTW you and Toby are officially invited to come over and play with me and Spindle (my future greyhound)!
Spindle!!! I die!!! Hahahaha, love it. And we shall.
Love this. Especially the last few lines. Wisdom, lady. As always.
I have two bucket lists. One is public. When I cross something off, I add something else. I also have a private bucket list that was an exercise when I was in therapy. It helped me reevaluate who I want to be and why I’d want to stick around. Depressing, yes, but it can be a valuable activity if done for the right reasons. I have things like “fall in love with the right man” and see such and such band with my BFFs in Ibiza. Yes, those things would bring me intense joy. I’ve been blessed and have been able to do so many amazing things that my bucket list includes a lot of over the top travel related things. I do agree that a lot of people’s bucket lists include superficial crap that is meaningless to their overall well being. I mean, I also have “make out with Christian Bale, Ryan Gosling, and Leonardo DiCaprio.” Pretty ridiculous.
See, that’s a perfectly healthy balance. I love everything in it. Ibiza?? Bad ass. Ryan Gosling? Yes please.
Aww the mini pig is so cute!!
The CUTEST.
God, I am so jealous you’re getting a mini pig. I mean, really. I would dress that thing up in mini rain boots all day every day. And take all the pictures of it.
I don’t know, for me, I like having the life list. While I theoretically agree with you and really just want to laugh my whole life, I also do want to be trilingual because I just think it’d be fun to be able to talk to everyone. But I know I’ll never get there if I don’t write it down.
You mean, like THIS?!?
Happening. Totally happening.
Let’s be honest – I’m running my second 1/2 marathon and it’s all fun and games until you realize you want to day drink instead of train.
I would add – riding a purple unicorn. That’s right.
Halves are less crazy, but still a little crazy. But that’s OK, I still love you. Especially if you find a purple unicorn for us to ride.
Please say your minipig is going to wear cutoffs!
But of course. He will also blue himself.
LOVE this.
I have a goal to do something ridiculously stupid that makes me laugh at least once every day… And I don’t care who’s watching or what they think of it. For instance, I will jump up onto the curb from the street and shout “PARKOUR!”… Because it is stupid and it cracks me up…
This is fantastic. I think I’ve been doing it involuntarily anyway, haha.
i think thats a pretty badass idea & list you have going on there. dont think its shallow at all.
Well good!
You’re a genius. This makes me feel relieved that I don’t have to make a life list now. I didn’t really want to but it seemed like I should. Also I already did a triathlon but mainly because it was fun and also raised money for cancer research so take that bucket listers! Anyway, this is something I can definitely get behind…that’s what he said! More happy and little piglets and laughin, less feeling inadequate for not crossing things off a bucket vision board 30 list.
A-freaking-MEN to that, lady friend.
I love that we both find Louis C K so funny. That’s all.
Because he scientifically, mathematically, factually IS that funny. <3
I see I have some competition for bedhead Adam Scott…
THUMB WAR, COMMENCE.
I can help you out with finding the most wonderful-est cheeseburger. It’s in Santa Fe (in my opinion).
And I totally want a mini pig. Oh my gosh, cute!
Do tell!!
It’s a place called Bobcat Bite and it’s amazing! http://bobcatbite.com/
I think you should add live metal karaoke to this list. #justsaiyan.
Even the thought of metal makes me cringe. But that would make a wonderfully non-cliche addition to YOUR list.
but…but…you have a “f*cking inspiration board” on pinterest!! hahah.
i love the ‘missed connection’ one – sometimes i THINK people would post about a missed connection so i go there just to check. i should really start posting some.
Hahaha, I do. I totally do. But it’s more about “kick in the ass” reminders than anything else.
absolutely adore this. also MINI PIG IS SO CUTE!! eeeeee!
and even though i’d probably sneeze the whole time, i would die if i went to the puppy bowl. because man that shiz is just too dang cute.
I will bring you a plethora of tissues and it will be LOVELY.
THERE IS A CAT ISLAND IN JAPAN???
I MUST go.
Right!??!
bucket lists, and dream boards, and goals are all about what makes you happy! I’m a fan of a dream board, having gotten on board with this (so to speak) a few years ago, and having accomplished most goals, how can I not be?
Having your goals in your face every day helps for some people who are easily sidetracked! But whether it is running a half marathon, or paying off a credit card, everyone should have goals, that’s what makes you feel accomplished!!
Rock on, lady friend. I’m impressed that you’ve accomplished most of them!!
Wow that little pig is cute. I wonder if my dog would try to be it’s mom or eat it? Hmmmm….
Haha, no idea, but if it’s the former it would be adorable.
I trust that you will share said cheeseburger with us whenever you find it, because I will need to eat it too.
OMG the pig.
Also added Cat Island to my Places To Go One Day list.
Oh, when I find that cheeseburger, the whole world shall know!
PS I feel like you should go here too, as a prelude to Cat Island? It’s easier to reach…
http://www.hemingwayhome.com/
I want to go there one day too…
I was totally going to mention the Hemingway home as a predestination! I love that place.
I’ve been!!! It was delightful!!!! ALL THE KITTIES.
I’m not a big fan of 30 before 30 or bucket lists either. If there’s something you want to do in life, then do it. If you don’t want to do it, then don’t. Find a way to do it, or get there, or accomplish it but don’t stress out if it never happens. You either want it to happen or you don’t, y’know?
I knew I liked you. *air five*
I’m not gonna lie, I’m always reading the missed connections in hopes of finding one about myself.
I never do, actually. I suppose I should start…
Make sure that pigs are legal in your state so that you don’t have to hide the cute little guy all the time!
I’m trying, but it’s hard to find the zoning info!
Are you still in DC? I just googled DC city ordinances and found this:
http://www.dcregs.dc.gov/Gateway/RuleHome.aspx?RuleNumber=25-J100
I am now, but I won’t be when I get one. #secrets
I love bucket lists. I loved my 101 in 1001 list even though I only did about 40 things on it. I don’t really care if I don’t actually do everything on it — it’s just fun to dream. And the things on mine, as cliche or gag inducing as they might be to others, really do bring me joy! Like reading 50 books for example. That’s my 2012 goal, and it’s because I truly love reading but need to get back into the habit. I think mostly though, the MAKING OF LISTS brings me joy! I honestly love it. Making lists brings me joy.
I do love your list though! I just think it’s not really so different from other people’s lists… it’s just what YOU want to do as opposed to what us boring people like to do.
Love your list.
I, too, would love to inspire a missed connection on Craigslist.
Let me know when you find that cheeseburger.
I love your list! Except for the mini-pig. They are cute, but… not my thing. I actually have completed a marathon — “completed” because I did the run/walk thing vs. actually running the whole dang thing. But… I finished 26.2 miles! In 7 hours and 26 minutes! Actually one of the greatest things I feel I’ve accomplished. Not doing it again though…
And I want to go to the Puppy Bowl too! I’ve been to the Westminster Kennel Club show, which I highly recommend even though it’s not at all the same. You get to meet all the dogs, but they don’t get to play and be adorable. And I love cheeseburgers too!
But most of all: Ohmygoodness, there’s a Cat Island??? Adding Cat Island to personal travel bucket list…
I have recently increased how frequently I watch The Golden Girls. Now I know why.
Being happy is also my #1 goal. One way I manage to achieve this goal is to not think about kicking the bucket; therefore no bucket lists.
“Be Happy” Yep, that’s pretty much the best vision board on the planet!
I’m gonna add “Eat bacon with Tobias” to my life list. It will be a bonding experience for us, I think. Also, if he doesn’t wear boots, I’m cooking him.
fyi- most of the islands that make up Okinawa are covered in cats if you’re looking for a slightly warmer place to view a place crawling with cats in Japan.
“But I will spend every minute of every day I possibly can striving to be happy, no matter what shape or form that takes. And I don’t feel bad about that. Not for one second.”
Y’know it’s really refreshing to hear this because bucket lists just seem so…exhausting and stressful. Goals are important, but the first one that we should all have is to just try and be happy in the moment, like you.
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