After a couple years of gift giving, B and I seem to be running out of ideas for presents for each other.
We’ve done the watch, the nice coat, the Wii, the wine fridge, the Mad Men-esque scotch glasses (even if they did turn out to be hobbit-sized).
I searched everything online… even Red Envelope, despite their site being so vomitous it makes me want to punch it where its nutsack should be.
It was six days before his birthday and I knew I had to act fast. I did what any girl does when things get tough:
I called my daddy.
“I just don’t know what to do,” I whined said. “He BUYS everything he wants. The iPad, the Google phone, new speakers… all perfectly good gift ideas he stole from me!”
“Well,” my wise old man said, “you know those toy planes and helicopters? I always wanted one of those. Actually, I always wanted to fly a real plane, but those seem fun too.”
GENIUS, I thought! What man wouldn’t want to machine-operate something through the air?!?
After a bit of research and a lot of Twitter help, I found what claimed to be the perfect starter RC plane: the HobbyZone Firebird Commander (2)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Look at the badassery!! Rawwwwwr and such!
I paid way too much for two day shipping and was thrilled when the tracking told me it was indeed waiting for us at home on the day of his birthday.
B was already home when I picked up the enormous 4 foot long box (huzzah! Look at that wingspan, bishes!!!) from our apartment office and proudly lugged it upstairs.
His reaction when he saw me drag the package inside was almost worth it alone.
“What on earth…” He stared at it in disbelief. “WHAT did you get me??”
“Open it, open it, open it!” I chanted. “Fashion show, fashion show, fashion show at lunch!”
With some help from Axe Murderer, he did just that…
And stared at it in what I knew could only be awe and wonderment.
Until, that is, he started laughing.
Hysterically.
And this was not “child’s joy” laughter. This was much more like “wtf has my crazy-ass girlfriend done THIS time” laughter.
B: (in utter disbelief) “A PLANE?! … What am I going to do with a plane??”
Me: “Wha… FLY it, of course!!”
B: “Baby. We live in an apartment building in Washington DC. We don’t have a yard. Where exactly would I fly this?”
Me: “In the park! We have a whole park behind our building!”
B: “I’m pretty sure that’s illegal… hon, you do know these are pretty much impossible to fly? Like, people spend years learning. And pretty much everyone just crashes them immediately anyway.”
Me: (totally crushed) “You HATE it. You hate my present.”
B: (yup, still laughing) “I don’t hate it! I just was really, REALLY not expecting a plane. You win for creativity, my dear.”
Me: *sad face*
Le sigh.
He did come home the next night pretty excited about at least getting to crash it. Enjoy it, my love. You crash the HELL out of that stupid, stupid plane.
{ 67 comments }
You lost me on the “wine cooler as birthday present” thing.
Just one, or did you get him a whole six-pack? maybe that’s where I’m confused.
@moooooog35, I think she meant a small, glass-fronted refrigerator for storing and cooling a number of bottles of wine at a time. Not a bottle of Bartles and James. ;^)
OMG. have you been watching the kardashians? bruce plays with toy helicopters and kris totally yells at him all the time. before you know it, B will be ignoring you and the cats in favor of staging simulated air battles.
*clap clap clap clap clap*
On one hand, yes, it is incredibly impractical and completely unexpected. And moreso than crashing, flying that thing around DC will more than likely get it shot down.
That being said, he could still fly it down by the Mall (you could even make a day of it!), and frankly, anything with the words “Firebird” and “Commander” in its name is a total win no matter how you look at it.
I applaud your willingness to fly in the face of expectations (pun intended).
@Emil, right?
and lilu~
I totally agree. Crashing is the awesomest, dood. Even if it’s beyond his skill/experience level, he LOVED crashing it.
I’m thinking it was a pretty pricey crash tho
…You said fashion show at lunch.
Kelly Kapoor is my favorite. Then there is LiLu.
I think it’s an awesome idea. So good, in fact, that I may start dropping hints that *I* want one for Christmas. I used to have a gas powered remote control car that went 85mph. I crashed it into the side of a dumpster.
I’m telling you — kegerator. There is nothing like having beer on tap, *at your house*.
He’s missing out on the plane awesomeness though. I have a co-worker that’s into RC helicopters and we’ve rigged a camera to it before to take aerial photos. He’s missing out on cleavage shot opportunities.
I don’t see how “illegal” is so relevant here. I mean, don’t DC cops have better things to do than worry about the guy trying to fly the plane in the park?
Ummm my husband would love that, we were at the mall and they have a stand where they sell those toy helicopters and Kristian was so excited to play with one and I had to talk him out of spending $50 on one. He claims he just wanted it to freak out the cat…which would be worth $50 actually.
Hahahaha I just laughed throughout that entire post. I, too, have run into the birthday gift giving dilemma. My plan for his October birthday was the iPhone 4.. guess what he just bought. Yes, the iPhone 4.
Also thank you for that amazing Kelly from The Office quote. I think 10% of the time I say it, people get it. The other 90%.. So awkward.
FASHION SHOW!!! What an awesome gift. Silly B.
I’m about to buy a pair of remote controlled helicopters as a wedding gift for my office spouse and his husband!
You’ve started calling him Captain Sully in the bedroom, haven’t you?
You could consider flying lessons as a next gift. Or even a hot air balloon ride. Okay, the second one might be something you would like, but maybe B is reading.
Wow, he tells you to get him a wolf and you get him an RC Plane.
Anyway, thought you and B would like to know about this.
http://www.dc-rc.org/waltgood%20field.htm
Huzzah!!! A flying field for Washington DC.
I mtn. bike out near that field. There are tons of people there on the weekends flying.
I am very jealous of this gift…
What? What’s wrong with crashing shit?
forgo the actual wrap up gifts and do cool stuff together as a gift instead.
http://www.terrapinadventures.com/adventures.php
http://www.xperiencedays.com/Helicopter_Flights.html
http://dc.about.com/od/wineriesvineyards/Wineries_Vineyards_Wine_Tasting.htm
That is so hilarious. My little sister and I are known for getting each other really random gifts. A couple of weeks ago, she got me a fake sword (I’m an adult female btw) and thought it was the coolest present ever.
She may be getting a plane for Christmas this year.
Damn straight he’ll be enjoying every minute of smashing that incredibly expenisve toy into a million smithereens.
This is incredibly funny. Lesson learned? Maybe father doesn’t know all….
What, no “Three BJ’s On Your Birthday” coupon?
The plane is a cool gift. Next gift? Plan a trip to somewhere that he can fly it. See. The gift that just keeps giving.
I think it’s still pretty awesome. And you two will always, ALWAYS remember that. Can’t say that about some coat!
Ok how are you going to top yourself next year?!
You 100 percent win for creativity!! I think a plane is an awesome present. Ahem… My birthday is January 6… Just sayin’…
Aww – poo!!! I hate when gifts fall flat…. I always end up taking it from them and stomping away…. haha Mature, I know…… hahahaha
My husband usually buys whatever he wants when he wants it too. He’s lucky to get clothes :p That’s ok, I usually end up buying what I want for myself too. We save our gift creativity for the kids.
Guys are IMPOSSIBLE to buy for, I hate it.
Next time, nudie pictures. Those will last you through a couple birthdays.
oh no! that is funny though. Josh and I are where yall are when it comes to gifts…except our bdays are 8 days apart. lately, we have just been like, ok something for the house? its boring…but i guess it works. Though i do think he would love a plane! way to get creative!
guys are SO HARD to buy for. they need to stop buying themselves everything and spend more time whining about what they want. it’s always worked for ME
i think it was an awesome idea…
but those little planes TOTALLY frighten me.. i am ALWAYS convinced they have a brain somewhere up in there… then they will just dive bomb ya on their own…
… yea’ for reals!!!
hahah!! that is so funny! at least you get the creativity award!!!!
FASHION SHOW AT LUNCH! OMG.
Also. onedayiwillhavethishappiness?
And. Forgive me for typing like it’s a twitter hashtag. I’M CLINICAL.
You could always send him and the plane up to Canada where land is 8 cents an acre.
I own from here to Hudson bay. Seriously. It’s awesome.
We can put my dog on the plane and she can drop ass bombs on unsuspecting Inuit.
Also, our beer has like 8% alcohol.
Just saying.
Oh no!!! How sad! I definitely thought all boys loved mechanical things that fly and make motor-y sounds. You’ve got yourself a rare one there! At least he was going to give it a whirl though! That’s how you know you have a great guy (despite the laughing) ^_^
BTW, I’ve gotten some bomb gift ideas from hunch.com. Have you tried that out?
Awwwwww I think it was a great idea! I am sure he will have some fun with it no matter what. I saw your tweet and meant to respond because my Fiance has a tiny helicopter that he loves to fly in the apartment and it terrifies the cats so it’s freaking hilarious. Maybe for Christmas you can get him a helicopter
or you can get him something awful as payback for his reaction!
HAHAHA!
My sister and I got one of those for my Dad a while back.
He LOVED it. Maybe because he lives on a 20 acre spread of land, and the only thing he can hit with said plane would be A: his daughters or B: his daughters horses (that is what he ended up hitting. awesome!)
At this point the Huz and I don’t bother with B-Days. We pay the oil bill, or some such unromantic crap… Sad times!
i no longer buy presents for my boy. the last three presents i bought him (including the years when we were just friends) were carefully selected books, with tons of heartfelt emotion and meaning, etc. etc. etc. yeah, he already owned those books. sigh. i gave up. i take him out to concerts instead.
I don’t care what he says, that is an AWESOME present. You should post video of trying to fly it.
because i try to buy the BF presents I think he should have, he kindly sent me some stuff he wants this year like boring shoes and an ugly hoodie.
i’m thinking a make-your-own-beer trip could be funl.
Hahaha, clearly the solution to this issue is for you to move out into the sticks. It was a great idea, just a shame it’s not city-compatible.
ahahahaha! But you tried so HARD…he’s got to love you for that.
And what guy doesn’t enjoy crashing stuff?
That is quite the interesting present. I hope that B has a good time crashing it.
I have moved towards presents like concert tickets, sporting events, plane tickets, a weekend trip, etc. for presents. You get to go too (win!) and it is not just something to clutter the house.
Ha! I’m adding this to my birthday list, only I want a hot pilot on my plane
This rocks. And as many others have said, don’t you, like, have a whole national mall thing with lots of open space? Legal, schmegal.
Also, my dad used to fly model airplanes way back in the day. I bet B could totally find a little club (most likely filled with men twice his age) that would provide lessons of some sort as well as a legal flying area.
my boyfriend has a helicopter, but it’s indoors…be thankful that someone told you to pick one that is meant for outdoor use! his ‘copter sounds like a lawnmower and has already destroyed one set of blinds and an ikea lamp…
Aww, its the thought that counts! I’m pretty surprised that he wasn’t more excited about the plane since usually guys are still boys at heart. Maybe next time you could try Legos or something.
P.s. I loved the Failopotamus, its a change of pace from failadactyl!
this is adorable.
i am adorable, too.
find out:
iamyourblog.blogspot.com
Oh shit. My husband’s birthday is on Saturday. And I’m still at a fucking loss.
Hahahaha awwwww! Birthday FAIL! But seriously, you get an A for effort. That’s really thoughtful of you!
Bummer for you, but half the fun of anything is being able to mess it up, so, rock on with busting up a really expensive RC airplane!
Jason’s birthday is in October. He bought himself a new laptop over the weekend. He never, EVER holds off on buying something so that someone can give it to him as a gift. Which is why I gave him underpants for our anniversary. But in my defense, they were his favorite kind and aren’t readily available in stores where we live.
I think you plane is awesome.
Hello? Amtrak? 2 tickets to NYC with some great hotel find — lots of booze, great dinner and the ultimate tourist thing….the double decker bus.
Haha, that was awesome! Your posts always make my day but this was a definite highlight. You get a big A+ for effort, though!
My husband bought me a mole trap for my birthday this year. Which I held hostage until I got a *real* birthday present consisting of a fabulous pair of BKE jeans a week or so later…
it’s the thought that counts…right? I got a pike pass for mothers day…uh huh I know
Hahaha, this is awesome. If it counts for anything, I would have LOVED a plane for my birthday, and I’m not even a dude. Great present!
I have the SAME problems with my fiance. He’s such a tech nerd that he can’t wait till holidays to get things so he just buys them for himself. I really like thinkgeek.com
I don’t know if they have one near you but in Orlando you can actually pay like $75 can get an intro-to-flying lesson in a Cesna where they take you up and let you fly for like 30 minutes. It’s fun. I did that once for a past boyfriend.
Hey, at least you get the creativity award!
awwwwwww, man… what a turkey! i can’t believe he didn’t rip that package open and start giving that plane blowies bc THAT’S how cool a gift that is. if you ask me…
sometimes i wish i had to scour my brain for gift ideas for my bee. he usually has a (ever GROWING) list (that he expects ME to keep up with. psssssscha!) ready and waiting for me for EVERY major holiday and special day event. then i get all panicky when i can’t get or make the thing he wants in time and since i can’t deal with the face of disappointment i usually just drive myself to the edge of insanity trying to procure said listed gifts.
men!
i tell ya…
If he does decide to crash the plane that’s definitely blog (and video!) fodder. Or you could ship it to the midwest and then you guys would have to come visit me and fly it here
It’s bad when you find yourself on Red Envelope….
You are too funny! Definitely an A for creativity! Knowing my bf, he’d spend more time trying to fly the dang plane than with me. He’s a total geek like that!
Haha aww GREAT idea! I got my husband a remote control Halo car for his birthday and he loved it. That baby has been zooming around our house and my parents’ yard ever since hehehe.
OMG this is so cute! I suck ass at picking gifts for anyone! But my boyfriend loves those things. He actually has a thing for rockets now. Him & his friends have been to the hobby store at least 8 times in the past 2 weeks. They’ve lost about 3. They take my 10 year old out & shoot them off & make her run & get them if they can follow where it landed. I know one is on the roof of the rodeo arena.
I gave up on the gift thing. He has everything he wants too. Now we just go out to eat.
You should have bought him something from Sky Mall (Hello, ceramic Yeti sculpture! Hello, Snuggie built for two!). Clearly, this is what went wrong here.
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