If you follow my tweets, you know I’ve been in the great outdoors for the past few days. While we are “cabin-ing”, not camping, with a couple friends in Shenandoah, it’s still been much more nature-y than I’m used to.
When we walked across the lawn- yes, lawn- for the first time, heading down to the river with our canoes (who am I??), I actually couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt a whole plot of grass under my feet. At least, one not littered with the homeless and stray chicken wings.
Yesterday was spent touring a few of the local wineries, which was delightful… at first. By the time we got to the third one, we were running out of adjectives with which to pepper our banter with the taste-givers. Let’s face it, you can only say the words “bold”, “earthy” and “full-bodied” so many times before even you start to hate yourself. So, we decided to branch out from the average descriptions and make things a little more interesting.
I believe I started it off when I declared a light red table wine “whimsical and flighty”… and it just plain snowballed from there. (I believe the increasing ridiculousness would most likely directly correlate with the number of tastings ingested. Shocking, I know.)
Some of the phrases we quite seriously deadpanned at our poor taste-givers, as well as a few brainstormed around the fire last night:
“naive, yet playful”
“reclusive, with hints of confidence”
“the finish has a sense of immortality”
“positively existential”
“dirty… even sinful”
“starts out with a bit of agony, finishing with a sense of euphoria”
“slightly prepubescent at first…”
“a note of spoonerism in the nose…”
“very cosmic… gives a real sense of animalistic sensuality”
“the nose cajoles you to drink more”
“very boastful!”
“almost iambically diabolic.”
“claims your palette with a hint of dirt”
And finally, the crown jewel from B:
“No wine is an island unto itself.”
{ 56 comments }
I see a future for you in wine reviewing. Seriously, I’m sure wine tasting magazines (or whatever the hell publishes that stuff) would be all over “starts out with a bit of agony, finishing with a sense of euphoria” or “naive, yet playful.”
I would feel a little dirty tasting a slightly prepubescent wine. Is there such thing as statutory grape?
I’m impressed you can remember anything at all. Last time I went wine tasting, I was told I ended up in a parking lot puking up pinot. I then apparently described it as “putrid with a hint of cheeseburger.”
Seriously better than the norm. I did not fall asleep, which is what “bold and earthy” do to me.
Haha, love it. So which one had “a note of spoonerism in the nose…” ? I’m interested in that one. Def need a cuddler.
I can’t quite put my finger on why, but I kind of love “reclusive, with hints of confidence.”
And I’m sure whoever was hosting the tasting appreciated your originality. Bold and earthy do get boring.
Love the creativity! You are so right that it’s easy to run out of adjectives. Especially when (if you’re like me) you really have no idea what you’re tasting or saying anyway!!
now this is a game I can get way on board with.
my fav: “slightly prepubescent at first…”
“Naive and yet… chubby. No, hold on: It’s a naughty little wine that should be taken around the corner and spanked!” – Televison character Ellen Morgan (Ellen Degeneres) at a winetasting
Damn. Where were you when I went to Winefest a couple of months ago? My favorite is “the finish has a sense of immortality”, which I totally read as immorality, which, by the way, is how my trip to Winefest ended.
Lol, these are awesome! I’m a vino novice for sure (“Uhhh, I’ll have another Pinot Grigio, please!”), so it’ll be funny to bust out these descriptions the next time I’m out with my more wine-educated friends
“the finish has a sense of immortality”
This…is how I will describe any wine I ever drink ever again for the sum total of my existence.
With the caveat that “almost iambically diabolic.” might pop up from time to time.
My strategy is to go for blunt.
“I like this one.
*pause*
Can I have some more?”
:p
I never had the taste buds for wine, definitely not for wine reviewing. So go ahead with your bad ass self.
Personally, I’ll review various liquors over wines any day.
Hilarious. I think this one was my favorite:
“starts out with a bit of agony, finishing with a sense of euphoria”
I think you’ve discovered the next ‘beer pong.’
once again I read one of your posts giggling the entire way… it is nice to be outside sans the homeless sometimes, right? i hope you guys are having fun!
New game! Yay!
Definitely doing this the next time I go to the Wine Room or something…
You’re awesome.
iambically diabolic. perfect.
Hahhaa, you crack me up, girl! I should do this next time I go wine tasting with my parents – my dad is a total wine connoisseur – I can’t even imagine how priceless the look on his face would be if J and I started doing this
I mentally added “in bed” after every single one of these.
I’ve always wanted to do a wine tasting! There’s a winery 15 minutes from my house and I’ve never gone.
I hate all of the “usual” wine adjectives and like some of these much better. Frankly, I just figure out whether I like the wine or not and whether I will continue drinking it or give it to my husband to finish off!
That makes WAY more sense to me than “full-bodied” and what-not. I tend to use things like “tastes really good” or “this is gross” when describing wine flavors.
I’m classy like that.
If wine tasters actually used that lingo, I’d be more likely to like them.
heh. every time we go wine tasting, i am all thoughtful and taste-y for the first, say, two wineries. then all of a sudden i’m taking dirty pictures with casks of wine. klassy, i yam.
mmmmwine. love it. love tours and love the sayings. clearly.
You are so funny, glad you made an adventure out of wine tasting (not that I thought you wouldn’t)
oh what would i give to just sit in on one conversation with you and B…I think I would be busting out into tears of laughter…
“claims your palette with a hint of dirt…” Definitely my fave!
These are brilliant. I think you should definitely consider a foray into sommilering (however you freakin’ spell it. Freaking Frogs and their words). Also, you gotta let me know which vineyards you went to!
PS: If you hear banjos, run.
HA! I have to remember some of these for the next time I go wine tasting… as usual had me laughing until Diet Coke went through my nose….
i continue to learn so much from you.
And….I want to go wine tasting with YOU! Seriously, I laughed out loud. You are hilarious.
I’m so stealing “spoonerism”… that word is bomb. Wine tasting with LiLu sounds bomb too.
i would’ve loved a vlog, i can only imagine how fun that was.
Hahahaha. This is hilarious and brilliant. I would have no idea what to say either; with wine, I have no idea why I like what I like, I just know what I do.
Ah wine tasting. Pretension at its finest.
But I still love it.
Hi class public intoxication is always ok in my book.
hahaha priceless! Love all the terms
I echo the person who said that they want to go wine tasting with you. The last people I went with were very seriously into wine and I hadn’t a clue…
Had I only had a phrase like : “very cosmic… gives a real sense of animalistic sensuality” to whip out for them. Brava!
“slightly prepubescent at first…”
LOL! I went to Prince Edward County (Ontario, Canada’s wine country next to Niagara) this summer and yes, it was difficult coming up with descriptions for taste. But I should have used that one because it’s hilarious!
I used the words “Nice” about a million times before I started slurring: “Hm.Good. More. Please”.
If you ever make your way to STL, we’ll have to go to some of the wineries here. I’m sure the midwesterners would love to hear the wine descriptions you come up with =)
Brilliant, naturally.
lol I just try to describe any flavors I can pick up. My roomie and I went wine tasting in eastern Washington two weekends ago, and it was a blast. Yummy!
First time visitor here.
No, right here…. yup, that’s me.
a) I love your layout/design. So adorable.
b) I love this post, I’d consider making out with it, but we just met and that’s always a little awkward.
c) I found you via 20 Something Bloggers (I always like to know how people came across me.)
If I may, I’m going to go ahead and add your cleverness to my blog roll.
Hilarious! So I had a dream last night- there was some blog thing and you me, and a couple of made up people that were bloggers too went to some event. It was in PA for some reason, I can’t really remember the places. I had a good time last night though, hanging out. Weird huh?
Love it. ““slightly prepubescent at first” was amazing
I went to a wine tasting once and found it too high and mighty for my liking. But this wine tasting that you had, now that something I can get behind.
Have fun cabin-ing!
I read “very boastful” as “very bLoatful” and I’m going to use that next time I go wine tasting.
This gotta be my favorite – “No wine is an island unto itself.” Lol. =)
“dirty- even sinful”… now there is a wine i MUST find!!!!
hiya!
i’m working on the reopen of my etsy shop: Twitterpated Pretty & i’d LUV it if you’d check it out! i’m going to e-mail you too!.
luvs the blogggggie!!!!
xox
I’m curious as to which wineries you visited!
Just snorted green tea all over myself reading these. Think my flatmates are worried about me.
Are you really being serious, re: grass underfoot?
If so, I have never been so glad to live in south England
hahaha I LOVE this. “naive, yet playful” made me laugh out loud.