My world is absolutely insane lately. Everything is changing, but it’s all things that are out of my control. I feel entirely overwhelmed, a little bit hungover, and a lot bit lost at all times. I can hardly catch my breath, and when I do, I use it to agree to one more thing I probably shouldn’t, for my mental health’s sake. I’m trying to be in charge of it all, to be a part of everything, and because of that, I feel like I’m accomplishing nothing.
I’m running on ice with socks on. It doesn’t work very well.
The job hunt continues, but without a specific direction. I know I don’t want to be an assistant anymore, and I know now the things that I enjoy doing- AND I even have experience doing them!, but it’s so vague a world I can’t for the life of me figure out the path I should take to get there. Or what the destination is.
Shit, y’all, I really don’t know shit.
I miss my family, and friends who are too far away, but I’m exhausted from traveling. I desperately want to get back into an exercise routine, but I can’t get my ass out of bed in the mornings. I’m determined to stop eating like shit and cook dinner, but we’re out half the nights of the week. I’m sick of side projects and never being able to relax, but I’m broke as a joke. I love that my social circle is expanding, but hate growing apart from friends. My clothes don’t fit, my apartment’s a mess, and my bathtub looks like the swamp thing because it’s so backed up with cat hair. (Sink cat’s not so damn cute now, is it?)
(Ok, yes it is.)
So, yes. Things are a bit crazy.
But in truth, I’m fine. Absolutely, 100%, A-OK. Sure, a bit stressed, but I know it’ll work out in the end.
And here’s why:
Happy Birthday, darling. You’re cute and funny and thoughtful and you cook and you make up songs for me and the kitties AND you keep me (somewhat) sane, so you’re a hero in my book. I love you.
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{ 55 comments }
wait, our men have the same birthdays too? from the PA roots, and now this?!
happy bday to b!
Stress is the biggest bitch isn’t it? Sending you lots of hugs and happy birthday to B!!
Happy Birthday to B!
I want to tell you to hang in there, but aren’t you sick of hearing that? I know I am.
I know exactly how you feel becuase I often feel the same way. I feel like every bit of catching up I do I just fall further behind. I think eventually things balance out and what you need to do is change 1 thing at a time instead of trying for all of those goals, work out routine, dinners and home etc. Take it all in stride hun! and Happy Birthday B!! So sweet what you wrote about hime!
happy birthday, B!!!!
Happy Birthday to your cutie pie! Very thoughtful look he has going on there…..lol
Happy birthday B! And I was just thinking how crazy it is that yours and Megabrooke’s manfriends have the same bday! Must be a lucky day
Ugh I have been feeling the same way lately! But I don’t have a man as cute as yours
OMG Amen to the “I don’t want to be an assistant anymore”. HERE, HERE girlfriend! I’m also in the throes of a job hunt, and it’s a bitch.
As for the rest of it, don’t feel bad about saying no to things. Take time to recharge yourself.
Happy birthday, B!
What more can a dude ask for a birthday present? Okay! A new car would be nice, but those feelings and remarks will actually mean more.
oh!
happy b/day b!!!
Aw, I’m sorry life isn’t being very nice to you right now, but I’m super happy you have B to help you out. Almost anything is tolerable when you have love.
Happy Birthday B!
Aawww! Happy birthday B.
aww.. happy birthday to B! I hope shit calms down up there… you’ll find your dream job, I know it! I have a problem with trying to lose weight/eating like shit too.. and I am usually too tired to go to the gym as well… I’m trying the Slimfast diet, because you get to drink 2 meals and a day and then you can still eat a semi-shitty/delicious/greasy dinner and still lose weight (if you manage to work a little too, it helps even more) you just have to make sure you don’t snack and stuff. It’s definitely not for everyone though and by the time you’re done the thought of drinking a milky-can-be-stored-at-room-temperature chocolate/vanilla/strawberry drink will make you puke in your mouth a little but it’s always worked for my lazy ass
Happy Birthday to B!
LiLu… this comes from the heart of your old crone reader here…who has 20+ years in as an Assistant. Having a man who loves you & who is supportive is more valuable than you can fathom. Having friends like you have is such a blessing, I hope that you never, ever have to find out what it’s like to not have them.
No matter what you do, you put your heart & soul into it. Take some time and figure out what it is that you want. Don’t get to be 40 and think “OMG, I’ve wasted my life”. It’s not a pretty place to be. You deserve better!
P.S. Clean your tub so you can soak with some bath fizzies.
Aww Happy Birthday, B!
Hang in there, girlie. I’m bound to blame all the crappiness going on right now my 1-year-early quarter life crisis. BOOOOO on getting older!!
Awww. Happy Birthday B!
Happy birthday, B!
LiLu, the sad truth is, being a grown up kind of sucks a lot of the time. But good friends and a sweet, cute man who makes you laugh can make it all better from time to time. You’ve got a terrific attitude and you’ll do great.
Happy Birthday Mr. B!!! I hope he has a wonderful day
As for all the stupid shit in your life… thinking of you! Seriously, my life is a phucking mess right now and I don’t know what I am doing with it. The thought makes me ill!! lol… so – i totally can relate! Things will work out though right?!
You can do it mama, espescially with a rad guy by your side.
We can both do it.
Awww, Happy Birthday B! I feel like for sexy time he probably dresses up in a knight costume for you. Without pants of course. Who needs pants when you’re wearing chain mail anyway?
Hang in there dear. I have a solution. Stop going out every night, save money, say no to projects and focus on your job search. Then…get job, have money. Yay! I should be a pyschologist.
Happy Bday B! (even though I’ve never met you!)
Stay strong sista – we all have those days, weeks, months. You’ll get through it!! Just breathe! XOXO
I think we wrote…the opposites today. I feel like we showed up to a party wearing the same outfit in opposite colors.
awwww schmoopypie goodness! i love it! happy bday, B
Happy Birthday, B. We’re so glad you make her eyes twinkle.
I know what you mean – I’ve been struggling with things too. I especially relate to what you said about how hard it is to expand socially yet find time for old friends and also feeling lost and getting motivated to up workouts. How do we fit it all in??
I SO want you to come work with me. You have to promise you’ll blog about the bathroom weirdnesses here. Once we post some positions, I’ll email you.
I know exactly how you feel.. and the ending of this post made me well up just a little bit. Love it that you have such a wonderful B in your life and I know things will start to slow down for both of us… one day!
there’s nothing like a good man by your side to help you through the rough spots. hope y’all enjoy the day.
awww!! cute.
Happy Birthday, B
Thanks for being there for our beloved LiLu!
And we’re rooting for you, girlie. It’s all going to work out and be utterly awesome. I pinky swear.
Awww, happy birthday B!
Amen, girl…I’m going to my ka-billionth job interview today (by the time I’m all said and done, I’m pretty sure that I will have interviewed at every law firm in Kansas City). I know what I want to do (I think), but I’m just having a little trouble doing it…I KNOW that I’m over being a fucking receptionist, I can tell you that much.
I feel like I need to take time off from doing stuff just to give myself a break, but at the same time, I feel like my social life and my friends are all that keeps me sane everyday.
Whenever I feel like I’m going in too many directions at once, my hubs seems to just magically know and show up with flowers or offer up a foot rub or even just a cold beer…pretty awesome, isn’t it?
Happy birthday, B!
Isn’t it nice to have someone by your side through crazy times (and the non-crazy times, too)? It makes all the difference. I’m so glad you have such an awesome partner in B.
Aww, this is sweet. Happy Birthday to B!
And I’m sorry things are crazy and shitty for you right now, but you know what? If they suck it only means they’re going to get better… and they’ll be even more awesome than they were before. I know these things. Sometimes I’m psychic. or something.
Girl, you are preaching to the choir! I totally feel you, but I have no doubts that you’ll figure it all out. And I’m the same way…just when I think my world couldn’t suck anymore, I thank God for my amazing bf. (Barf, I know.) If it weren’t for him, there’s a good chance I would have moved outta NYC a long time ago.
amen about being broke and needing a job. throw in a hospital bill for an effing kidney stone to the mix and thats my life. anyways, happy birthday to your lover. my hubs’ was yesterday. ahh…we’re all getting so old…
Aww, how sweet. Happy Birthday, B! You have a great first initial.
It’s so good to have that person, that “rock,” in your life. Hope you guys can do something fabulous together to celebrate. You BOTH deserve it. It sounds like a mini-weekend getaway is in order. I know, I know, you’re busy – but trust me, it helps!
You’re a lucky gal.
That is a damn fine man you’ve got there. And I don’t just mean his looks.
Hang in there boo, you’ll get there. I’ll keep pushin for ya!
Happy Birthday B!!!
Aww, happy birthday to B! His birthday is the day before mine so he’s automatically cool haha.
I really hope things will look up for you, pumpkin
Just think about Marcel the Shell with Shoes On if you ever need a pick-me-up: http://www.vimeo.com/14190306
Wait, is that an Affliction shirt? Or, more pathetic, a knock off Affliction shirt? Smack him, for your Jersey Shore Douches have afflicted him!
Dude, I totally know what you’re feeling! Hope the overwhelming-ness of everything settles down. Just take care of what you can control and leave the rest to destiny (god that’s corny)!
Happy birthday, B!
Happy birthday B!
And I hear you on the stress front – I had a wonderful public demonstration yesterday in which I sat down and bawled in my office and ended up sobbing to my boss how I couldn’t do it any more. Because I am a giant baby
Hang in there, and don’t forget to be patient – the right thing is right around the corner.
Ah, as busy and overwhelmed as you are, you don’t ever take B for granted. And I know he appreciates the hell out of you right back!
Cuteness!
Happy Birthday B!
Awww! Happy Birthday, B!
Happy Belated Birthday to your darling!
Stress is the worst thing created :/ I hope things come calmer for you soon.
And Happy Birthday to B
Aw. Happy Birthday to B!
Why don’t you become a social media guru? Well you already are a social media guru so becoming one for a living wouldn’t be much of a stretch. Our company have hired a social media company (http://www.twinlionmedia.com/) for our latest campaign (I’m a graphic designer/marketing person working in the marketing dept of a venture capital firm, that sentence was far too long blah blah blah) and the compay is great. Run by 2 women in Toronto (I am in Vancouver) they basically get our campaign “online” and help out with lots of cool stuff. It’s esentially marketing but it’s specialised and its definately a growing industry. Just a suggestion… Good Luck, stay strong and keep believin!
I don’t really know why, but this is probably one of my favorite posts from you.
This makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside.
It’s sort of a weird feeling.
I’m not sure what to make of it.
Whoa, you just described my life as of late.
I’m the owner of a swamp thing bathtub & right now my apartment looks like its been taken over by cats…even though we only have one.
Group Hug? xox
I think you’re fantastic and I’m happy you have someone equally splendid : )
Happy Belated Birthday B!
I can so relate to this post, I’m totally stressed out lately and am frustrated with the job search. At least we’re all in it together, right? RIGHT.