You all know this game by now. Time for another installment of “The Shiz My Boyfriend Says.” Woot!
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Yesterday, B dropped off our yoga mats to our (phenomenal) neighborhood bartender for their kids event this Saturday. Upon returning home…
B: So I dropped the mats off, and she came out from the bar like she was going to give me a hug, and we just stood there looking at each other. So awkward.
Me: What? Why wouldn’t you give her a hug??
B: I don’t do hugs.
Me: …….
B: You know those people who like to hug all the time? I’m basically the opposite of that. Not for me.
Me: But I hug you all the time!
B: Well, you’re different.
Me: (pause of disbelief) Um, not even joking? I bought a shirt that says “Free Hugs” today.
B: Well, here we are.
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We see a commercial for Saw 19 or whatever.
Me: Seriously?? (meaning, they’re actually making ANOTHER of these?)
B: I know, didn’t that guy die in the first one?
Me: I don’t know. I don’t watch that horror shit.
B: Oh, that’s right… cause you’re a goddamn coward.
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I look up to see B feeding Axe Murderer bits of chicken on top of the bookshelf. He grabs a nearby paper towel and takes a half-hearted swipe at the mess.
Me: Um, gross. Can you at least get a WET paper towel?
B: Why, so you can EAT off there?! Sheesh.
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Trying out our new HD Blu-Ray, an episode of Legend of the Seeker is on. I should probably mention that the main character looks like this:
You can use your Sword of Truth on me anytime, baby.
Me: Oh Richard… so shirtless.
B: What! I’m taking the Blu-Ray back!!
Me: Oh, please. There’s more than enough boobs-in-slow-mo fight scenes to make this even.
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See you all tonight at the Happy Hour, lovebugs! Chinatown Vapiano’s after work, but Maxie and I will be there at 4 to squat at a table for us if you’re out early. I’ll be on the tweet if you can’t find us.
Do it!!!
(And share the button if you’re coming!)
~take it, leave it, love it, spank it~
{ 46 comments }
WHEN IS THAT SHOW ON AND ON WHAT CHANNEL?
.-= Ben´s last blog ..Offensive to Russians, the religious, my coworkers and clients. =-.
“I look up to see B feeding Axe Murderer bits of chicken on top of the bookshelf. ”
God.
I’m so sick of seeing that sentence all over the place.
.-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Craigslist Killer – Part Deux? =-.
PLEASE, PLEASE, Puh.Leez, never ever stop writing this part of your blog. It makes me crack up everytime I read it. In fact, my husby now says, “Are you making mental notes about things I say so you can write like Lilu?” Yes, you are a legend…and now, so. is. B. (but we won’t tell him, he might get all high -n- mighty on your ass)
Oh, and did you get him that mask? Cuz I think a pic of him needs to be taken using the glow off the tv for lighting.
.-= Wendy ´s last blog ..Worry, Then Acceptance =-.
damn i wish i could get there early… seriously who schedules a meeting for 4 on a friday! whaaaa oh well. see you there!
I love the hug convo you guys had. It made me LOL. and its 900am, i love you guys!
.-= Nickie´s last blog ..Lost.. =-.
I just discovered your blog and… um…. how to out this delicately. I think I have a little girl crush on you.
Your blog is grand. Glad I discovered it, and totally following.
.-= Mel´s last blog ..Bloggerstock: What is your theme song? =-.
I’m so with B on the hugging thing…except I also don’t do cheek kisses. And DD’s ENTIRE family does. Awkward moments abound.
.-= A Super Girl´s last blog ..Current events =-.
oh man, “so you can eat up there?” why doesn’t my guy say funny crazy crap like this?
.-= ally´s last blog ..Texas Instruments | Little Professor Calculator =-.
and ps why do these comment thingies always pull like ass-old blog entries from my blog – that’s one thing i’ll never understand!
.-= ally´s last blog ..Texas Instruments | Little Professor Calculator =-.
I’m not much of a hugger either, so I get where he’s coming from. But…if someone else initiates it, I feel awkward enough to go for it.
.-= Elizabeth´s last blog ..Confessional intentions =-.
i’m with b on the hug thing, actually. if i don’t HAVE to and they’re not incredibly close to me, i’m not a big huggy person. that bothers some people. but i don’t care.
.-= cari´s last blog ..little bitty baby “scare”… =-.
Ugh, not even slow-mo close-ups of boobs can get me to watch that farce of a series.
However, I’m with B on that “I don’t do hugs things”. Even free hugs from attractive girls I balk at (but usually relent). I just…I like my personal space is all.
.-= MJenks´s last blog ..Friday Morning Latin Lesson, Vol. LXXII =-.
The ‘Free Hugs’ shirt? Also own one. We’re awesome, as usual.
.-= LesleyG´s last blog ..10 to 20 =-.
I’m so with him on the hugs thing.
My usual reaction to hug attempts is, “Get off.”
Jase doesn’t hug. He just kind of .. back pats. And then looks awkward for a while. Except with me of course. Although I have been the recipient of a few back pats too, come to think of it…
.-= Aly´s last blog ..I Like Your Beard =-.
Ah, I’ve missed Richard since the finale… Thanks for perking up my day! My dad is on a personal mission to get as many Seeker fans as possible and his primary selling point is “hot chicks in leather”. I’d be disgusted, but I have to appreciate his effort. This is a show where everyone wins.
.-= NySoonerGirl´s last blog ..Summer Bucket List =-.
I’ll have to get a “free hugs” t-shirt because my “free moustache rides” t-shirt isn’t working as planned.
.-= Del-V´s last blog ..Call now and receive a free T-shirt! =-.
free hugs FTW
Though depending who they are from I react his way.
and horror movies are where its at baby.
.-= Clevelandpoet´s last blog ..TMI Thursday: The one with the litter box =-.
My boyfriend doesn’t hug either, except with one or two notable exceptions, when they have to prise his arms from around them. But he once bumped into an old friend, and she said “Hey you! Lovely to see you, can I have a hug?” And he said, “Erm… no, sorry.”
So, totally not what you’re supposed to say!
I wish I would remember to write down the things my man says. They are just plain awesome.
.-= Mei´s last blog ..Ninja Spider Attack =-.
My brother doesn’t do hugs either. Only high-fives. Why do self proclaimed manly-men hate on the hugging?
…’scuse me, I just gaffawed at my reference to my bro as a “manly-man.”
It feels like nails on a chalk board when people touch me, so I totally smell what B’s stepping in. I haven’t visited in a while and I forgot how much I adore your blog!
intotheninth.blogspot.com
.-= shandi´s last blog .. =-.
I need to get a Free Flashes t-shirt.
.-= Kristina P.´s last blog ..Babies R Us =-.
LMAO! I have to stop reading this at work… people wonder why I’m laughing out out at the otherwise boring computer screen. Love it!
Virtual free hug to you! (LiLu) I’m a hugger. Especially when drunk. I’ll hug the homeless smelly people even. Well, maybe not them, but everyone BUT them!
Happy Friday luv muffin!
xoxo
.-= Kellie´s last blog ..Less than 8 weeks left of cooking time! =-.
So cute you two!!!!
.-= Invisible Seductress´s last blog ..play by play action!!!! =-.
I beginning to believe that B is a genius!
I’m with him on the hugging thing. It is awkward. I’m a half-hugger. My goal is to one day be a full hugger, but many of my friends are fearful of the hug. Hmmm…that could present a problem and could explain why I’m a half hugger.
Just be thankful when B hugs you, he hugs with both arms. My ex hated to hug ANYONE and did the one arm hug. WTF? Current and last hubby, hugs at the drop of a dime and I LOVE that.
.-= littlemsblogger´s last blog ..70 Things About Me =-.
Hahahahhaa “…so shirtless”
.-= Soda and Candy´s last blog ..Did that actually just happen? =-.
I’m a hugger too, and if you don’t hug back just right – I get offended! I want that shirt!
.-= Herding Cats´s last blog ..That Time I Got Held Up At Gunpoint… =-.
i don’t do hugs either. i’m an awkward freak.
.-= ericka @ alabaster cow´s last blog ..my short fuse or things you can stick up your backside or my baby needs a therapist =-.
Were NOT supposed to eat off our shelves??
.-= hillbillyduhn´s last blog ..When a Breast isn’t a Boobie =-.
He doesn’t even do hugs when he’s drunk??
.-= Michelle (bikramyogachick)´s last blog ..Wall Walking =-.
Hahaha my favorite was the blue ray comment. It reminds me of something my husband would say as I sit there salivating over muscular armed men
.
.-= JoJo´s last blog ..The Dustbuster Strikes Back =-.
Dude, I’m with him on the hugging thing. I hate hugging people. It makes me uncomfortable, and I never know when I’m supposed to let go or how hard I’m supposed to squeeze (TWSS). Just…. awkward.
My boy and I are just like you and B in the hugging arena. He doesn’t get why all my friends hug eachother. Sometimes I have to yell at him to get fucking hug.
Um…why does your neighborhood bartender need yoga mats for children? So confused.
.-= Nikki´s last blog ..Knocked up in San Diego =-.
“So shirtless.” Ahem. I love you, LiLu.
.-= Heather Rose´s last blog ..The Wonderful World of June =-.
‘Oh, please. There’s more than enough boobs-in-slow-mo fight scenes to make this even.’ That was the best line in the post!
Wish I lived nearby so I could join you all for happy hour! Can we get drunken pics? Please?
.-= Juliana, @ Kernut’s World´s last undefined ..Response cached until Fri 4 @ 21:17 GMT (Refreshes in 52 Minutes) =-.
“Well here we are”.
Something else I feel the need to work into my daily conversations!
.-= Skylers Dad´s last blog ..Skyler’s TV Crushes, Part 4 =-.
Thank you so much for stopping by my blog and leaving that comment about my motorcycle! I’m pretty much loving it. One guy said that the image of my bike says “I’m a lady but I’ll still kick your ass!” hahahaha
.-= The Bipolar Diva´s last blog ..A Couple of Things Made Me Feel Better Today =-.
I’m not a hugger either, I totally get it!
.-= Lucy´s last blog ..No More Television For Lucy =-.
I hope he let you watch the whole thing, shirtless guy, boobs, and all!
.-= Jason´s last blog ..Pay it Forward Challenge! =-.
I love these posts. You guys seem to have so much fun together, which is what it’s all about.
Ha! “Why, so you can EAT off there?…”
Reminds me of a man I lived with who gave me a hard time for wanting to put shelf liner in the kitchen cabinets…
“Why? Because the people who lived here before us were rubbing their butts all over the shelves up there?…”
.-= FabuLeslie´s last blog ..Good morning, good morning everybody, in the news this morning, good morning… =-.
Even as someone who loves hugs, when you see someone and don’t know if you should hug them, that’s really awkward. Or when they want to and you don’t. I rarely have that happen because I LOVE hugging but still.
Love these posts! Always make me laugh
Ha! Yet another fantastically awkward random bouts of shiz that B says. God I love you… as in you, L. And well, your boyfriend too. He’s funny.