It’s been a long time since there was a show on I COULD NOT MISS. There was Boy Meets World, Saved by the Bell, the Fresh Prince, Blossom…
(Shuttup. I’d still do Joey Lawrence. Whoa!)
But this, my friends… this is a shit show I have been waiting for with bated breath.
On July 29th, our beloved “Jersey Shore” returns to us, full blow-outs ahead.
MTV released thirteen minutes of first episode at their Movie Awards on Sunday, and a magical thirteen minutes they were. (Here, if you missed it. P.S. About missing it? DON’T.)
Oh, Snooki, J-Woww, Pauly D, and my very favorite Situation, I love you so. You truly represent the American dream.
Well, the 21st century one, anyway… you know: get on a reality show, make a gigantic (memorable) ass out of yourself, and make the nation fall in love/hate with you.
And I want to hate you. I know you represent all that is wrong with America’s youth today, or at least the Northeastern seaboard’s.
But I just can’t. I freaking love you crazy bastards, with your lube-shellacked hair, George Hamilton glow, and mouths that would make- well, me- blush.
What I would give to spend one night out with you guys. I already have the Bumpit and the potty mouth. All I need is a few hair-pulling lessons, and I’m good to go.
Let’s be honest, no one likes Angelina anyway. Bring me in and I’ll not only not cockblock you, hell, I’ll bring the talent HOME.
No grenades, I promise. You can creep all you want, pound it out with all the girls, and I’ll just have Snooki work on perfecting my pouf while we giggle at Pauly DÂ berating some girl who’s stalking his whole entire life on the boardwalk.
See? I know the lingo and everything. I’ll even share my Jersey Shore drinking game with you while we pregame. One condition though: I’m not standing next to Snooki at the bar. Girl is like a magnet for physical abuse, and I like my face in one piece.
Bring it on, y’all. I can’t WAIT to “Get Jersey”… even if it is in Miami.
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I honestly don’t think I could watch the show without wanting to punch my television.
Over. And over. And over again.
Could get ‘spensive.
God, you are *such* a Ronnie.
@moooooog35, I couldn’t watch it without punching your television either.
Oh my god such a trainwreck. And like all good train wrecks…it’s impossible to turn away.
I still think we need to do a “Blogger” Real World. I bet if we pitched it to MTV they’d so buy it.
With my dance moves? IT CAN’T LOSE.
@Dualmom,
OMG. Blogger Real World…insanity. I think my television would explode.
But in a totally awesome way, right?
agreed on joey lawrence, but only with hair. without hair? *bad whoa*
File that under images I refuse to acknowledge.
I had a roommate in college from Jersey. They are much better to watch from afar. I moved out before the semester was over and commuted an hour to school each way. Yes, it was THAT BAD.
I seriously want to head up for a weekend summer, just to see them in their natural habitat. It’d be like a safari, but with more hair gel.
@Beth Ann,
Ahh, really?! Really?! I grew up in NJ and I know not one person like that in real life. I know they exist…but my town/county is more Potomac/Bev Hills than Jersey Shore. And I live ten minutes from the Jersey Shore!!
Let’s not lump an entire state in that pot of crapola. Please, for me and the masses of humans who live here?!
I beg of you…I am so tired of people thinking this is actually what NJ is like.
ITS NOT.
Also just saying…Snooki is from New York. So is one of the other ones.
LiLu–Ew Seaside. Its like the shadiest beach on the shore. A huge chunk of the Jersey Shore is pretty nice actually. Wealthy, quiet, pretty.
But if you want to see some REAL guido action…you go to Belmar.
Now that is some people watching. Seaside is more W.T. Belmar is Guido Capital USA. Do it!!
@KassyK,
I’m sorry, I really meant no offense. You are totally right, I am sure there are plenty of good people in New Jersey. I have had so many distasteful experiences with the spoiled rich ones that come down to Maryland for college. Especially the frats. Gah.
Maybe you can answer a question that has puzzled me for a very long time though? Why did it seem every person I came across that was from Jersey smoked Parliaments? It became a bit of a joke between my friends and I in college.
waaaaaaaaaaaaaah. (snooki) they all look slightly better…i dont like it. i miss jwows highlights.
They are a bit too classy, I agree. But I have a feeling they won’t be able to keep that up for long.
I def cannot turn away from this show. It’s so bad its good. Just like LB’s dog, he’s so ugly he’s cute! Bwahha. And I’ll take a side Vinny too. Men with perfectly groomed eyebrows are hoottt.
He’s also seeming the least worst of the group as far as douchiness.
Yes, I said “least worst.” Not “best.” Let’s not go crazy here.
I somehow missed this whole phenomon but I will have to catch an episode. I live never the real life Jersey Shore so I see people like this all-time. The hair bumps are an epidemic!!!
Start a tumblr and share. PLEASE.
Looks, my vagina wants Ronnie.
Smarts, my brain wants Vinnie.
This show, my heart wants it all.
God, I am so excited.
Shame on your vagina. But thank god you now live two blocks away, because I SMELL A JERSEY SHORE VIEWING PARTY. Bring your Bumpit.
If I ever need cheering up, I go out to YouTube and watch Jersey Shore dance videos. Ronnie’s fist pump will make me laugh until I cry every.single.time.
And I love that they all said he was the best dancer on the reunion after show thing.
That’s BS. Snooki does backflips flashing her cooter and gets nada?! She so wins.
LOVE. IT. I cannot wait for this show to come back. It’s like GD trainwreck and I love. I’m all for shows and movies that are so bad they’re good.
“So bad it’s good” is pretty much my life motto.
*Sigh* As if New Jersey needed another reason to be hated.
You mean ADORED. Truly, madly, deeply.
You are the sole reason my hubby and I are addicted to the Jersey Shore. So whatever I need to do to help get you on this show, count me in.
BTW I’m so glad J-WOW let the highlights go. See these are things hubby and I talk about. In addition, we are known to beat up the beat at house and fist pump randomly. Our oldest even speaks the Jersey Shore lingo when called upon.
I am so proud.
And ashamed.
But mostly proud.
I really want to hate Jersey Shore, and I’m even ashamed to admit this, but I LOVE it. Seriously. It’s a train wreck that you just can’t look away from.
Best. Trainwreck. EVERRRRRRRRRRRR
I’m with you on this one. I want to hate them but I can’t. I’m hooked!
They’ve got me by the (figurative) balls, yo.
Thank god, this show doesnt come here…. other wise i would hv to get a new Tv.
Don’t hate. Appreciate! GTL!
I’m still not entirely sure what this show is, I do know this Snooki character came into our store once & there were people freaking out…
I’m lost.
However, blogger real world? Let’s get on this mess, it’s our very own American dream…
Dibs on NOT being the emo one of the group. Class clown, I can do.
I want to be a member of Jersey Shore when I grow up. Is that too much to ask?
We all have our dreams.
Some of them just involve big hair and a juicehead on your arm.
One of my favorite J.Shore quotes of all times is from this F.O.D. video: http://tinyurl.com/ykyzywy
“Every time you lift your shirt, you’re lifting America’s spirits” -British (?) Pauly D
I mean… it’s TRUE.
Well, clearly WE were meant to be BFFs, as you named some of my favoritest shows. Namely, Boy Meets World and Blossom — both shows that I have mentioned in my own blog as huge influences in my formative years. (Um, Six’s hats? I was totally jealous.) And, well, Saved by the Bell just goes without saying.
Why is the Situation looking so skinny these days? GTL, sir.
I wanted to be Six. Mostly for the name.
This phase came directly after my wanting to be Punky Brewster phase.
(Disclaimer: I still want to be Punky Brewster.)
I LOVE it. It reminds me of all those family reunions I used to be forced to go to where I could have sworn there was a tanning bed somewhere on the property…all I had to do was find it.
Can I be your date next year?
*FIST PUMP*
*SNOOKIE BACK FLIP*
My husband actually threatened to divorce me if I put Jersey Shore on, and then in one episode, he was in love with Snooki!!
It’s like crack. Really, really tan crack.
I can’t WAIT for the new season! My boyfriend and I have even changed the name of our local bar from “Zookies” as “Snooki’s” (which we actually end up calling “Snickers”)
I think I’m going to start calling one of the cats Snickers.
Maybe both. Not like they answer anyway.
i hate this show. like NJ needed ANOTHER reason for people to think it sucks. AND NONE OF THESE DOUCHEBAGS IS EVEN FROM NJ. *seeeethe*
I said Eastern seaboard!!
The Jersey Shore is the worst thing to happen to Italian Americans since The Olive Garden.
Great. Now I want breadsticks.
@Del-V,
I want an endless salad.
@lilu,
The quote list for Season 2 has already begun: http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/telefile/2010/06/the-9-most-brilliant-jersey-sh.php
YES YES YES YES
I know I’m supposed to “appreciate instead of hate” or something like that, but I just don’t think I can do it. My dead Italian relatives would come back and beat me, not to mention the ones still living.
I hear you. But when the Masshole show comes out, you better believe I’ll watch it.
To be honest, I’ve never watched it.
And to your bright orange train wreck – a few years back I met one my guy pals girl of the moment – and she had on these shiney orange shorts that when she walked her ass went from side to side as though you were shaking a square piece of jello on a plate. I didn’t like her anyway, and that just topped the cake for me. I pointed out the orange train wreck to my friend I brought with me and she started laughing, leaving me to cover up why we were laughing…Yeah.
Haha! Evil!
*loves it*
The only episode I ever saw was the one where Snookie got punched in the face… and that was enough for me… haha
When I first saw that clip I kind of thought it was hilarious, but by the time the episode actually aired I was in love with her.
So should been Sammi taking the punch in the face. Just for the way she treated Ronnie.
Please, I bet you can hair-pull with the best of them.
That’s true. I proved it in Vegas, didn’t I?
I tried to watch it, but my BF put me in time out and took away the remote.
Not really, but he bugs me endlessly when I tried to watch it, so I never really made it past the first episode. It does look like an enjoyable train wreck though!
*Fist Bump* for Boy Meets World! I had a wicked crush on Ryder Strong!
Mmmm. Such a bad boy, that one…
i really love reality shows. tivo recorded an episode because i have “blow out” in my wish list…(remember that show about jonathon antons hair shop? awesome) and it was in the description of a jersey shore episode, and i watched it.
those people are far too unattractive to me. not just their greasy hair but the way they carry themselves. didnt love it. but i can relate to the excitement of a show coming back you adore!
And adore it I do.
LOL as much as I can’t stand those people the show is quite entertaining, I agree. Ugh JWoww is hideous though I don’t know how she got cast on in the first place, shes not all that interesting either!
I dunno, I think she could be considered dirty hot.
Or maybe herpes hot. Either way.
I’ll admit I really didn’t like this show when it first started. It reminded me of a juiced up version of Real World and I just wasn’t impressed by the first few episodes… but now? OMG. I watched the 13mins yesterday and I can’t wait for the new season. ESP since Angelina is a stupid twat who hooked up with Pauly D and now thinks she’s “in”. hahaha bitch needs to check herself because- whoa. It’ll be entertaining to see what she’s in for. Boy played her and she’s gonna get burned!
Someone who’s as crazy about it as me! I love you!
We did watch the entire season last year, and made it a point to catch the finale. But I don’t know if my brain can handle it again. Though, the havoc they could cause in Miami…
“Havoc” is probably the right word for it.
DAYUM! that girl is short.
Also, I loved Fresh Prince, but ESPECIALLY Saved by the Bell. Ah, I remember Mario Lopez’s glory years in all its frizzy mulletted glory…
I was always a Zack girl myself. Must’ve been the cinderblock of a cell phone.
So pumped for their EPIC return.
FIST-pumped, right??
Do you know about the Jersey Shore porn, LiLu?? Oh yes, yes they did.
*trying not to google at work*
I think snickers is hot.
Dont tell anyone.
It was her crotch-dancing, wasn’t it?
and have you ever watched Jersylicious????? holy bad tv batman!!! but i love every. single. minute of it!
AHHHH that is my new obsession! It’s been getting me through the dark nights where there was no Jersey Shore or RHONJ!!
@jen, watch Jersey Couture. I watched my first episodes of it last night and am now addicted!
Ohhhhhhh, I want to go to there!
I’m spray tanning in honor of Season 2.
I have never seen Jersey Shore (I know – gasp!) but I think I’m about to have to hulu it.
Also – your Joey Lawrence is my Rider Strong. SO cute.
This post is funny but I have never and will never watch this show
At least these kids don’t take themselves too seriously. I mean, we all can’t be wannabe Frankenheidi’s and “separate” from our husband.
LMAO!!! Okay, I had a HUGE crush on Joey Lawrence back then too. The puffy hair, the flannel tied around his waist… “WOAH!” He was adorable.
I am a New Yorker living in Joisey at the moment (Hoboken to be exact) and I was out this past weekend and literally watched as the room filled with orange-faced, spikey-haired, overpowering-cologne-wearing Jersey shore types. It was weird. My favorite part? Apparently the Situation himself is going to be at this classy establishment next week. I gotta get me a bumpit!
Thanks for the laugh
ahahahah. I forgot to watch or tape the MTV awards!! The one good thing about MTV- they play their sh*t over and over, so hopefully I can get the good ole DVR to tape a re-run.
So, that little preview got me MORE than excited! AND, my favorite part is when Snookie Said: “I don’t go real tanning anymore because Obama put a 10% tax on tanning, and I think that was probably for us. McCain would never put a 10% tax on tanning because he is pale and would want to go tanning”
bahahaha.
I instituted a NO MTV rule a year ago and it was the greatest decision of my life.
Luckily Tool Academy is on VH1.
i still haven’t made it through a full episode of jersey shore but man does it make me laugh/gag all at once and this new season is bound to be just as amazing and i sort of can’t wait, even if it’s just for awesome recaps.
I love Jersey Shore! I love anything Jersey! Have you ever watched The Real Housewives of New Jersey? It’s just as addictive and hilarious, just a little more serious and family oriented. I try to start fist pumps around here but Indiana is for ass slappers.
I’ll have to wait til post-Conan to watch this. I cannot wait.
Someone tell Ronnie that he didn’t have to do every steroid ever made in between seasons.
Trainwreck or not, seriously, don’t you feel like you lose brain cells just by watching? STOOOOOOOOPIDITY at every single turn.
JWoww’s got that stripper pose DOWN. Practice really does make perfect. Remember that kids.
http://www.firednfabulous.blogspot.com/
Well, we’ve all got to have our guilty pleasures. I heard that the show’s producers have been giving everyone on the show boatloads of Valtrex as preventative measures
Snooki is the prettiest Oompa Loompa on the block!
I heard on the radio this morning that Snooki was seen partying with Paris Hilton and her sister. If that’s the case, I really don’t know if the show will be as good as it was last season. I just can’t see Paris as a guidette.
OMG! That is my favorite workout show! Screw an iPod…give me 2 hours of back-to-back reruns of “Jersey Shore,” and I’ll work that Elliptical down! GTL all the way, baby! GTL!!!
I like how Jersey was all, “get the hell out of here you douchey fuckers,” so Miami took them under it’s wing. This makes me glad that KC and Denver are both landlocked. No chance the orange mob will be showing up in my hood.
I shudder to think what these kids will look like in twenty years. Hell, I’m scared to see what they’ll look like in five years! LOL
Bahahahahaha.
On a side, note, all of my comments to you start out with bahahahaha. I’m so original. But really, you make me giggle.
Idk how I feel about this trainwreck. It’s a love, hate thing, I guess.
Ha ha I LOVE this post. I hate admitting that I def have recorded every episode glad to see their are other crazy betches like me
Not gonna lie, I’m totally fist pumping my way through to the premiere. It’s not just a gesture… fist pumping is a way of life.
All I could think through the entire 13-minutes in heaven was “How did Snooki get her hair even HIGHER.”
It inspired me to believe that she is bringing her A++++ game to Miami. And, for the love of GTL and charging hippos, I CANNOT FREAKING WAIT.
oh my god thank you for this. I will be adding this to my DVR list and making a note so I don’t miss it. And i need to watch that footage!
Yay! I have a bump it too! Although I need Snookie to give me lessons on how to use it b/c I have no clue. Bring it on Jersey Shore! I can’t wait!
Having gone to a NYC college that had a huge percentage of commuters…I saw a lot of this – though a less glamorous version. We always made jokes about the commuters, but you know they thought we were a bunch of fat slobs with our sweat pants and make up free faces at the early morning classes. I’m pretty sure I was invisible to the Situation-like guys in my Italian II course. Just as well since I could never date a guy who spent more time on his hair than I did on mine.
Have you *seen* Joey lately? You may rethink the whole “I’d still do him” angle…
And, I say hold out for your OWN reality series… You’re talented and funny enough to be a Snooki in your own right. ;o)
if we don’t have a jersey shore themed party or happy hour this year, I will never speak to you again.
So, so true that this is the show to love/hate! I despise it and all the people and how they represent the bane of our generation…but I can’t turn away from it!
I have also had the pleasure of “hanging out” (meaning he was at the same club and I talked to him for all of 3 minutes and may have coerced a few pictures out of him) with Ronnie a few months ago…it was definitely an experience haha.
Nooooooooooooooooooo JS takes another victim….it’s a sad cheerless day….
Being a native Staten Islander, not only have I met two of the cast members (before they were “famous”) but I was not at all shocked at what I saw, just slightly embarrassed, but nonetheless amused. Of course not everyone from Staten Island is like that. I somewhat fall under that stereotype – I tan/fake bake, have an ATROCIOUS accent and OF COURSE I am at the shore a lot during the summer (BELMAR “BROOO”) however, I certainly do not have that mentality and I certainly know how to behave in public. I do hate when people from NJ blame New Yorkers for the shore being so… “classy”. There are just as many people in NJ who are like that as well, so stop whining about us “bennys” and accept some of the blame as well!
I cannot wait for season 2 though! Its my favorite show train wreck to watch, next to the Real Housewives of New Jersey. (now, Staten Island has NOTHING to do with that one!)
I appreciate the whole “train wreck” thing, but I think I’m getting too old for this shit. Because I look at this show (which I’ve only seen snippets of, but methinks that most bits of the show are fairly representative of the whole thing) and my overwhelming response is, “Good lord, this is the next generation, and we are so fucked.” And also, “Cover yourself up, child!” And moreover, “Jesus, is your mother watching this? Poor woman.” I want to watch and enjoy, but I end up doing alot of hand-wringing.
I cannot wait either! So freaking excited. BTW, I was reading NYMag on line and they were making some reference to Herpes Shore, guess there is some major Valtrex presecriptions being filled. That sucks cause I once I had a dirty dream about Pauly D and I have been in love ever since. Hope it isn’t him… I am thinking it is JWOW. Oh wait, didn’t she hook up with him?
Do you know the complications this show has caused my life? When I lived in Philly, Jersey Shore was HILARS because it wasn’t “our” Jersey Shore. *Our* Jersey Shore is the ever-somewhat-classy, totally family friendly beach towns of SOUTH Jersey where my friends and I would spend every summer. In Philly, this is what everyone does. Jersey Shore’s Jersey Shore was north jersey trash. And goddamn hilarious. But as soon as I moved to Massachusetts and all these Massholes got wind that I always vacation at the Jersey Shore … well, you can imagine the response. I’m tired of explaining. These days I just nod and pump my fist.
I am with you. I HATE Angelina. She didn’t deserve to be back. And why I drool over those boys is beyond me. but I do.
Did you say that you’d bring talent home? Can I hire you?
found your site on del.icio.us today and really liked it.. i bookmarked it and will be back to check it out some more later
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