Liza Minnelli, living legend, aspiration for drag queens everywhere, and putting Beyonce to shame with her “Single Ladies” rendition in SATC2.
One of my most favoritest crazy birds in the world. From Arrested Development to making Michael Jackson the best man at her fourth wedding to her brilliant Snickers commercial with Betty White, this diva just won’t quit, and I freaking love it.
But last night on Kathy Griffin’s premiere, the montage of Liza’s laugh… well… I guess you just had to be there. Nonetheless, this chick has been crazypants through the ages, and I just plain adore her for it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Britney Spears, just plain being Britney Spears.
She hasn’t even done anything that batshit lately, but let’s be honest, she’ll forever have an honorary place on this list for our generation. Like 9/11 and Katrina, so too will this horrifying image forever be etched into our minds:
Oh, Brit Brit. Please stop procreating. Xoxo, LiLu
Although apparently she has just been accused of “physical harassing” of one of her bodyguards… by nakedness.
Never a dull moment with you, chica.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kelly Bensimon, Real Housewives of New York.
This one can’t really be explained in words. Mostly because she doesn’t know how to use them. At least, not in coherent sentences.
Listen, lady friend… when Bethenny Frankel pities you, you’ve pretty much hit rock bottom. But never fear… I’m sure Dr. Drew’s already got a room prepped for you on Celebrity Rehab.
Wow. Just… WOW.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Megan Fox, Passion Play, kicked off of Transformers, and new possessor of a “tribute to Mickey Rourke” tattoo.
I almost didn’t include her, because I’ve always felt she’s so desperately trying to be old-school Angelina (you know, Billy Bob Thornton boning, vial-of-his-blood carrying, make out with your brother Angelina). But then I saw faux-Mickey’s tweet re: the tattoo, and frankly, it’s worth it just to share that:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Miley “I’m Not Trying To Be A Slut” Cyrus, Hannah Montana, musical artist, and posing all sexy-like with her dad.
It's Miley!
“I’m really comfortable with my body,” she says. “I feel more comfortable dressing with a little less, which is just how I’ve always been. Now I’m able to do that a little more freely and, also, I’ve just grown up to be this way too.”
via Zap 2 it
At least it's a onesie?
That’s fine, little lady. I honestly have no problem with a gal wanting to whore it up every once in a while; every girl has her “promiscuous year” in college. (Except me, Mom. What’s a penis?)
All I’m asking is that you OWN it. Go all Xtina: The Dirty Years on us! Stop worrying about what everyone thinks and just admit you’re slutting it up for a while, even if it is only musically.
Can’t cheat on daddy, after all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Danielle Staub, Real Housewives of New Jersey.
Every week, I think this crazy ass bitch can’t get any crazier. And every week, bless her heart, she proves me so very, very wrong. To the point where I took a “Which Real Housewife of New Jersey are you?” quiz, and B told me, quite seriously, that if I got Danielle… we were through.
Honestly, I wouldn’t even blame him. (No worries, I’m Dina, apparently. Though I kind of see myself as more of a Caroline. *shrugs*)
Just watch as much as you can stomach… you’ll get the idea.
Danielle, I hereby crown you Crazy Ass Bitch of the month. We salute you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honorary mentions: Speidi and the Gosselins, who have blessedly somehow disappeared from the news lately. Maybe there’s hope for your souls yet!
…NAHHHHHHHHHH.
{ 79 comments }
Thank you for the Miley Cyrus picture.
I’ve been hunting for new wallpaper on this laptop.
You saved me a trip to her website.
You mean the one and her dad?
Yeah, I thought so.
Thank god I got Dina. If I got Danielle, I was gonna have to take the quiz over again. I stopped watching RHNY. They’re too fucking crazy for me.
What! They’re my favorites. Unlike RHONJ, they’re ALLLLLLLLLLL cah-razy.
LOL!! This is an awesome post!! Danielle from the Realhousewives of New Jersey is more crazier in person. I’ve met her. Oh Britney became such a nut! I love it!
MET her??? I’d be jealous, but I’m too shocked that you came out of it alive.
Oh, Brit Brit… I love you, and when I’m famous, the first thing I’m going to do is take you to the store and buy you a pair of panties.
…That probably comes across way creepier than I meant it to.
Nope. It was just right.
Also, bring me.
LMAO I’m sitting in class cackling right now!
I’d pick Kelly over Danielle ANY day of the week. At least Kelly *AL SHARPTON!!* is harmless, Danielle on the other hand… there is NO telling what that crazy bitch is going to do next.
Did you hear the REAL reason why Dina left the show? Danielle is a sick piece of garbage. Team Manzo FO EVAAA
oh and I got Dina as well, THANK GOD!
Dina LEFT?! *googling*
Oh Megan Fox. But she’s marrying what’s-his-name from 90210!
Also, please kick Miley Cyrus out of reality. I. Can’t. Take it.
As long as she keeps making songs.
I’m sorry!!! I need them to work out too!!! *shame*
I love that fake Mickey Rourke twitter. I swear to god, much like DRUNKHULK, it makes my day just a bit better.
Also RHONY is just chock full of the cray-cray, and I love it.
That Mickey twitter is like, one of TEN I have come straight to my phone. SO GOOD.
What? You don’t think Glen Beck is crazypants?
I follow everything Britney and I’m not ashamed of it.
I kind of feel like we owe it to her. Like we created a monster, and now we need to take care of it, or something.
oh, i love it when people are crazier than me. makes me feel better about myself and my insane life.
This is pretty much the formula I use when choosing every show I watch. It works out quite well (for my self-esteem).
Kelly and Danielle both need to come back down to earth. And I just read a comment that Dina left the show, WHAAAAAATTTT???? I haven’t watched this week’s episode yet, dammit to hell she was my favorite one. (Well, tied with Caroline.) The NY reunion has made me DIE laughing all over the place. Kelly, please put down the meth pipe… (spoon?? or whatever..) Thank you.
Caroline won’t let Dina leave. FAMILY STICKS TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
holy crap! Danielle is a shit show! And Miley Cyrus creeps me out. She’s not even 18. I can’t believe that her parents let her dress the way she does. and the photo shoots. ick. ick. ick.
I’m pretty sure Billy Ray is the new Joe Simpson. Soon he’ll be talking about his daughter’s rack and making sure she’s not wearing panties when she leaves the house.
Thank you for adding Megan Fox to this list. I thought I was the only one who thought she was nuts and a total wannabe. It’s good to hear I am not alone.
I’m no Angelina fan, either, so someone TRYING to be Angelina? Extra pathetic in my book.
oh dear lord. Yes, yes yes yes yessss X a million. I have to admit (i can’t believe I’m doing this) I’ve kinda been missing Spiedi from The Hills. The show is not near as enjoyable without their crazy-asses. Although, rumor has it they broke up…we’ll see.
But I love this list. And I agree with all of them. although, I have to admit that ms. hannah montana/miley cyrus does give me some extremely catchy songs to work-out/drive in the car to. (can’t believe I just admitted that, either).
I know! The Hills is nothing without their dramz, but that crystal shit was too much even for me.
And I LOVE Miley’s songs. Nothing gets me through the end of a run like “Party in the USA.” What?
Danielle is INSANE. I have a pretty good stomach for insane ladies on reality TV but she just scares me. Bottom line.
As long as she stays on THAT side of the TV, I’m watching.
But in real life? I’d run like hell.
OK, here is my theory on Kelly. She had a horse accident years ago, and I honestly wonder if she has a Traumatic Brain Injury. She absolutely acts like someone who has. I mean, there is crazy, and then there is honestly and legitimately CRAZY.
Danielle is crazy, Kelly is Crazy.
I would agree with this assessment, Dr. P. BUT I also think that Danielle is more likely to cause bodily harm… so it’s a toss up, really.
Not so sure if chemically imbalanced is the right classification… I think they’re just wired all wrong. Chemicals cannot fix these lovely ladies (except Britney since she’s bipolar), no really nothing can fix these human models of atrocity
And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Honestly? I think the only redeemable part of SATC2 was Liza Minelli’s bit of Single Ladies. She f*cking rocked the house! Work it sistah! As far as Miley Cirus… no words honey. I think she is the next Britney for sure. Do I see one common denominator? Crazy parents who let their children’s leash become a little too loose if you know what I mean… *muah* Kisses
That was the only three minutes of SATC2 I watched without wanting to gauge my eyes out. She was disturbingly fabulous.
This list is so awesome. Now I must go see Kathy Griffin’s premiere. Heart her! (yeah, ok, obv i don’t heart her enough since i didn’t know about the premiere. doh.)
You know Bravo, it’ll be on 43 times today
Kelly Bensimon and Danielle Staub are the reasons why I nearly pee my pants with laughter every week. Those bitches be CA-RAZY.
P.S. I just took the quiz and got Caroline. Shew. Relief!
Seriously. What WOULD we do without them??
You are completely awesome!
Aww! Thanks darlin!
My biggest dream is for Celebrity Death Match to be resurrected so that Danielle Staub and Kelly Bensimon and fight one another. And we can all drink Mexican versions of margaritas! VIVA LA COUNTESS!
Also, in my house, we like to do a lot of Lucille 2 impressions, mainly, “Buster! How grand!” a la the auction. Liza is amazing.
You know how Austin Powers does that thing with “Turbulence! Turbulence!”
Yeah… I do that, except I shout “Vertigo! Vertigo!”
There is so much crazy on the Real Housewives shows! It’s like a train wreck I can’t stop watching. Love it!
It’s a bumpy ride, but so worth it.
Just so long as I don’t spill my wine.
I think I love you more now than I ever have. Why? Because you are also a reality whore like me. So, love chicken, I agree with all of this. I mean, Kelly, Danielle, Brit, Miley, and Liza are the poster children for all kinds of crazy. But DAHLING, you forgot LuAnn (Money Can’t Buy You Class???) and Kim from RHWOA….she’s just a hot mess of crazy bitchness.
I know. We should have a post-off between their songs! Only problem is, I actually *like* “Tardy for the Party”… don’t tell anyone.
@Wendy,
I’ve been known to sing the chorus to my class when we are doing something important first thing in the morning.
Your secret is safe with me.
“(Except me, Mom. What’s a penis?)” I LOVE YOU.
I totally wish I could see that last video! Some kinda lame “sucks to be you because you don’t live in the US so you can’t watch me” message popped up
But LOVED this.
Silly Hulu. I tried to find it on youtube for you Canucks, but to no avail. Just trust me when I say it’s magical. SCARY magical.
YES! But done forget about Lindsay Lohan! That girl is RIDICULOUS!
I know, but she’s kind of past the point of entertaining… girl’s just sad. I was watching Mean Girls the other day and she’s barely recognizable. Fix yo shit, Lilo!
Kelly from NY Housewives omg! She cracks me up. Aahh wish I could get the Brit image out of my head.
Never. It is a part of all of us forever now.
Miley in a onsie is classic. I think I see a snapable crotch on that little number. Or is that for easy access? She’s even holding up 3 fingers for her age. SO precious!
I can’t tell if Megan Fox is really dumb, trying too hard or both.
Hey,
Linked you from Sleepyjanes place. Love the post. I’ll come past and maybe catch up with some older posts later. Oh, and if Miley wants to whore it up at my place, she’s more than welcome. ( As long as she comes over when the wife’s out !!! LOL
)
I used to have nightmares of the bald Britney Spears. I have gotten over it just recently. But now that I saw it again, I think I will have to skip sleep tonight.
Okay, slutty would be one thing…but this outfit is just an embarrasment. Seriously. What was her goal here?Was she attempting to start a new trend? Because if so I want to be “untrendy” forever. heaven forbid we start following in the footsteps of Miley Cyrus
Some crazy women might be crazy hot, but eventually the crazy will catch up to you and kick you in the nuts, crazily.
I don’t need whacked out celebrities. I’m man enough to admit my chemical imbalance comes from me.
And Chuck Norris.
And David Caradine.
No, not David.
Ok, David.
Kelly and Danielle should be besties. I seriously feel sorry for their children! And yeah, Megan Fox sucks. (No, I’m not jealous). When she was at an event promoting Jennifer’s Body, she said “It’s better than it look!” Idiot.
http://www.firednfabulous.com/
Thank you for this list. I love that you added Kelly & Danielle on here, because as much as I’d like to talk about them with my husband, he just doesn’t want to hear about how crazy they are. Don’t you EVER call me crazy.
i refuse to like miley’s songs, but i have no such compunction about britney. i do hope she stops being so.. um.. well, totally nutso, but HOT DAMN does she put out some catchy tunes.
You totally had me when you got to Bravo. Kelly is just – well – I don’t have the words. She’s so enveloped in her own reality that I fear an alternate universe may manifest just for her . And maybe for Danielle, too. Or they could be in the same.
that whole megan fox thing is just super weird.. like way creepy weird…
miley cyrus.. makes me wanna throw up……!
I haven’t been watching the housewives of NJ this season but I have got to catch up. Everyone keeps telling me how nuts Danielle is and I have to see that mess for myself.
Where the fuck has your blog been all my life? I LOVE it. I’m blog rolling your ass. HI-LARIOUS stuff.
I totally agree about those crazy housewife beyotches?? Kelly Benn Simone Killborne whatever the f her name is has lost her mind. She is too great to watch. What is her deal? Seriously, what is her deal?
Great stuff.
Miley’s onesie looks very different from the onesies I’ve got for my little girl although they contain about the same amount of fabric. Just sayin.
xoxo
Crap – I get the “clip isn’t available from your location” message for these videos! Which sucks. ‘Cause I love me some Crazy!
Dear Lilu,
Who said the “Dirty Years of Christina” were over?!
Her latest song off the new album:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiEAy1LoOTk
I mean, c’mon. You don’t even need a plate when you swing with Christina!
Later Gator,
Little Fish
Oh LiLu, thanks for brightening my day!
I was just getting over Britney’s temporary bald spot (yes, it took that long…) and you had to post that picture here. Thanks…
and now to show you that I was joking: LOL.
Actually, I just read Ryan Seacrest’s tweet that Kate Gosselin might be on the next Bachelorette. Can you say BAD IDEA?????????
yes! first, kelly binsomon is the worst. i start to feel anxiety watching her…in a “bethenny is going to totally shut her down” anxiety kind of way. and you are so right, if you have bethenny’s sympathy…you are nuts! also took the quiz…and i am caroline. so i guess this means we are sisters? welcome to the fam!
I used to think that Danielle from RHONJ was sad/crazy, in that she’d been given some hard knocks from her divorce and prior life as ‘Beverly Merrill’ (p.s. there’s a twitter account for Beverly Merrill, @BeverlyMerrill, and its all kinds of hilarious) but now, I see that she is a crazy, manipulative, predator and that makes some scary ish.
but Kelly, oh my dear. she’s a good kind of crazy to watch because she’s foolishly unaware of herself and the prospect of vocabulary. I would like to know what happened to her in 1979 though.
Can’t cheat on daddy.
Just…
I mean…
Whoa.
Girl, you’ve been on a roll here lately. What did B put in your Raisin Bran? LOL!
I <3 you…and Britney Spears, that crazy heifer.
i absolutely love this list and couldn’t agree more about the crazy. i would maybe add that judge from SYTYCD, i don’t watch but man do i love when joel mchale makes fun of her, it’s ridiculous and she’s amazing.
OMG, i lvoe your blog and this just cracks me up!
kelly and danielle are crazy beezees!
Oh how I love me some Housewives of NJ. Danielle is insane. I saw her last week on a Philly street. Her face looks so hard, like she’s been chain smoking since she was three. I will miss Dina though
PS started following your blog – i thought i already had – i love your blog! you crack me up!
HAHA! dude! that picture of britney makes me sad. she’s better now. give her some credit, yo. she is forever my girl. {mmm, i’m not ever embarrassed to say that}
and miley? she has some catchy songs. but since i’d willingly spread my legs for joel, he can tease all he wants.
I forgot how disturbing that photo of Brittney was!! What a sight!!!
i don’t know why i hate that talk soup guy. the brit pic made me feel sad though. i interviewed her when she was just starting out. poor girl.
LOL. great post! i still cant believe miley’s parents encourage her to continue “being herself”.
I don’t actually own a television so I have to prioritize my TV watching by what I should download off the internet. This here? It’s like my new TV Guide! Wait does that magazine even exist anymore? Regardless, yes. I had no idea some of these people existed, frankly, but I will gladly follow the trainwrecks.
Awesome.
lol to funny!! And yeah Speidi has been absent from the Hills lately….. kinda even makes the show bearable
It is their IMBALANCE that keeps them in our lives for better or worse (LOL)
OH this made me giggle. SO hard.
I love how we can look at celebrities, and be like DUDE my life’s not that bad right?! haha.
Megan Fox drives me bat crap crazy. She’s an AWFUL actress and a completely crazy person! This list is SO acurate …. it’s a little scary. OH! And the Real Housewives ladies make me want to punch a baby.
agreed. agreed. agreed. hilarious.
This post was so funny~
Kelly Bensimon was so crazy on RHNY. I think part of the reason Jill and Luann turned on Bethenny is because they were jealous she got her own show.
I agree with all your pics, although I believe Omarosa will be making a comeback and will need to be added to your list.
For crazy ass Danielle, I think you left off one of the best parts – her “secretly-stolen-sex-tape” taped conveniently last year and conveniently released as the show is airing. You devil, you.
I’m concerned that one day Milania (Theresa’s daughter on RHWofNJ) will turn into a Danielle or Kelly. Have you seen the way that 3 year old poses for the camera??
So will you have similar feelings towards some of the Real Housewives of DC?
Ah God, I do wish Liza was my crazy aunt! *sigh*
And Miley *argh* she’s annoying me! This whole Britney line of “that’s how everyone dresses back home…gee whizz, what’s the problem”. She’s a goddamn dirty whore…like you said, own it!
And yaw, what was up with Meggers and her Mickey Tribute……lol, I just read that back…Mickey Tribute, priceless!
wow. i just read another post about crazy people, but these were all men. and all these child stars, seriously, they ALL go crazy i think. it’s the media attention. i swear it.
Um, hello! Have you seen the new music video Miley has out? Can’t Be Tamed? Seriously, how old is this girl? Here’s the link. Now you can watch it for yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjSG6z_13-Q
I loved that Liza was so nice to Kathy when she was in way over her head and how Liza was willing to coach her. But, yeah, that cackle is priceless!
haha hilarious post!
even my kids have grown weary of miley cyrus so thank the lord for that!
LOVE LOVE LOVE the crazy bitches on the various Real Housewives. Here’s hoping the DC version that starts in August will have a couple of them!
“Miley “I’m Not Trying To Be A Slut” Cyrus, Hannah Montana, musical artist, and posing all sexy-like with her dad. ”
LOL. Ew. What is with today’s pop singers all trying desperately to be EXACTLY like Madonna circa “Truth Or Dare?” Sex has been done to death ladies, try to find something else to show the world!
Your blog continues to impress me. You’re such a strong writer, and your posts are always engaging.
I LOVE Kathy Griffin with my whole heart!
I’m been saying FOREVER how Miley and Billy Ray are a little too close. :p Just. Ew.