Apparently, the hot new thing to do is follow in Oprah’s footsteps and declare to the world the things we “don’t do.” (I personally came across this over at the mama in red, though I’ve seen it a few places since.)
Since I am feeling a teeny bit diva-esque today, not only am I going to rock this, I am going to do it IN THIRD PERSON.
Watch out now.
LiLu doesn’t… do bunnies and roses and kittens and motivational inspirational crapola. It just ain’t me. Fart jokes all the way, yo.
LiLu doesn’t… do “hiding emotions”. Note: this is more often a curse than a blessing. Hearts-on-Sleeves Club for life!
LiLu doesn’t… apologize for the endless cat jokes/pictures/tweets. You know you love it.
LiLu doesn’t… do surprises or secrets. Like presents. No waiting. Gimme gimme gimme gimme!
LiLu doesn’t… do seafood of the “slimy” variety. Aphrodisi-MY ASS.
LiLu doesn’t… dream about a big fancy schmancy wedding with doves and a black church choir and a year’s pay of f#*@ing flowers. Just good friends, an open bar… and a LOT of 80s music.
LiLu doesn’t… stand idly by when someone messes with her family or friends. In ANY capacity. Ben knows this.
LiLu doesn’t… know what the eff she would do without all the people she’s met, both of the e- and IRL variety, via this here corner of the interwebs. /schmoop
I yam what I yam and that’s all that I yam, y’all.
Take it, leave it, love it, spank it.
What?
{ 78 comments }
I do seafood! Yummy! ;p
I do seafood… so long as it doesn’t remind me of Ralphie May’s neck.
*jiggle*
.-= The Mercurial Wife´s last blog ..It’s Funny Now… =-.
I’m also in the “Hearts on Sleeves” club! Long live it, love it, slap it on the bing bong.
I’m not sure what the bing bong is, but I want some.
.-= Bev´s last blog ..Oh, what a beautiful morning! =-.
What do you consider slimy seafood? If you tell me, I probably won’t eat it anymore. Slimy is a dirty word.
Oysters, mussels, scallops… though of course this only applies to non-fried varieties. Batter it and throw it in some oil, and I’m DOWN.
.-= Jessica @ How Sweet´s last blog ..Loaded Blueberry Coconut Muffins. =-.
When I’m rich, you’ll be my bodyguard. We’ll have the element of surprise.
I get to wear a cape in this scenario, right?
AWESOME.
.-= Ben´s last blog ..Offensive to Russians, the religious, my coworkers and clients. =-.
re: slimy seafood: my dude calls raw oysters tasty boogers.
i love them, but it’s sick how true that is.
Yup. The boogers with the big, goopy bulb on the end.
.-= linda´s last blog ..Missed Connection with Cat, Mouse, Dog =-.
I love surprises that ARE surprises…I hate when someone says “I’ve a surprise for you” and then won’t tell you what it is and instead makes you wait ages!
And I hear ya with that slimy seafood business…
Okay, true. I don’t mind a surprise if it’s INSTANTANEOUS.
Can you tell I’m an impatient person?
Moooooog35 doesn’t do writing in third person.
Oh.
Dammit.
Ziiiiiiiiiing.
.-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Craigslist Killer – Part Deux? =-.
Two things. Fuck Oprah and nice list yo.
I’ll take it.
.-= Ian´s last blog ..Hello. My name is Ian and I have 1/3rd of a brain =-.
I call bullshit from the start. You do to do kittens! Especially if it involves clothes or speech balloons!
And top hats! Don’t forget top hats! And monocles!
I also love fart jokes. I’ve devoted 5 years of blogging to fart jokes.
And for that, I thank you.
.-= Del-V´s last blog ..Call now and receive a free T-shirt! =-.
Love the list. I am not a fan of surprises either, gimme gimme gimme!
Right?? Willpower is NOT my strong suit.
.-= Nickie´s last blog ..Lost.. =-.
Spank it harder, please.
Let me get my paddle…
.-= k8´s last blog ..A Weekend in Pictures =-.
Blech blech. Carissa doesn’t do slimy seafood either. I like this meme action.
And I can’t hold a surprise back to save my life though I would love for once in my life someone be able to hold one back from me. Just to see what it’s like.
B and I always do presents at least a week early, no matter the occasion.
.-= carissa´s last blog ..My “AHHHHHHHHH (HANDS ON CHEEKS)” Week. =-.
Hooray for Don’t lists! I totally want to do one now, and yeah, I’ve never been a cat person before but your updates crack me up ALL the time
I call that a Big Fat WIN, my dear!
This is so sassy. I can see why it’s caught on. It reminds me of my bf’s 3 year old daughter. She doesn’t do a lot of things. She doesn’t do cheese, listen to off-key singing or tolerate people who do not dance when she tells them to.
Dude, she’s like out of a Western! “DANCE, monkey! Dance! *pow pow*”
Shamelessly stealing this right now for my own post. Love it.
Have at it, hoss!
.-= T. The Destructor´s last blog ..gone. =-.
Elly Lou doesn’t do pink toothbrushes…and is amused that you have two of them…which means your boy must use one, too. That part is fun.
Whoa whoa whoa. His is ORANGE. Neon orange, maybe, but still orange.
.-= Elly Lou´s last blog ..Step One (There’s No Box Involved. Nor NKOTB. Promise.) =-.
Totally with you in the Hearts on Sleeves club. Worst. Poker Face. Ever.
More fart jokes and cat pictures please
Forever and ever, amen. <3
I love that you ended your “Oprah” post with a Popeye quote.
See? Even though I hate them, I’m FULL of surprises.
.-= leahchristine´s last blog ..I’ve been DUPED =-.
I totes approve. My current Oprah list, one item long:
TKOG doesn’t apologize for her weird obsession with early-aughts R&B. #listeningtoPimpJuiceformaybethefifteenthtimetoday
No shame, my love. Not in this corner of the interwebs, anyway.
.-= That Kind Of Girl´s last blog ..TKOG Who cranks out a highly critical letter =-.
Love the don’t it’s so much easier than saying I love …. and this is so great… blah blah blah…
Torn does not like Flyer fans! GO HAWKS!
I do the seafood thing… but not oysters and icky stuff like that but sushi… yummmmmm…
Torn does not put up with anyone messing with her kids or dogs! IN. That. Order.
Love you LiLu if you ever make it to Chicago…….
I’ve never been to the Windy City, but it is topping my list. Trust.
Skylers dad doesn’t do rap. And if Skylers dad wore his emotions any closer to the surface, it would be pretty scary for everyone involved, and stormtroopers would descend from helicopters to yank my card card away from me.
I’m a little scared. But a little excited.
Jessie Spano FTW.
.-= Skylers Dad´s last blog ..Fire That Agency =-.
Hearts-on-sleeve club UNITE! And maybe cry a little.
At least we can stroke each other’s hair while we do it.
HAIR, I said! HAIR!
I’m right there with the Hearts on Sleeves club. I may be President. Or VP.
I’m so going to steal this, just an FYI.
Dibs on Secretary. All the credit with none of the work!
<3
.-= Ashley´s last blog ..Taking a Step Back =-.
Hooray, more slimy seafood for me.
.-= suki´s last blog ..Memorial Weekend Recap : Getting There =-.
I am definitely a member of the hearts-on-sleeves club and love that you are. Great list! Makes me want to do one. Love you blog!!
I am totally in the Hearts on Sleeve club! I cry when I need to, get angry when it happens, and can’t hold back laughter. Also – amen to the wedding vision of open bar and 80s tunes.
.-= Herding Cats´s last blog ..That Time I Got Held Up At Gunpoint… =-.
You don’t do kittens? LIES. LIES!!!!
.-= flipflopsintherain´s last blog ..hai. =-.
Oysters freak me out, yo. Not gonna lie, I’m with you on that one.
.-= Liz @ Dogs & Wine´s last blog ..Memorial Day Weekend: DC & Baltimore Style =-.
Hmmm… I’m going to check it out. How did I miss the “Oprah doesn’t” list?? Love yours too! My wedding was officiated by a part-time preacher/part-time maintenance man during my husband’s lunch hour in a gazebo outside the courthouse. We celebrated with good friends at a Tennessee Vols football game. Now that’s a classy wedding, sister!
.-= LB´s last blog ..No, I’m Not Sick; I Lost My Voice Yelling at the Kids! =-.
Yay for the open bar and 80s music at your wedding….LOVE IT! I, also, do not hide my emotions. Everyone know when I’m mad, upset….anything lol.
So with you on the inspirational crap. Not about that either.
.-= Sadako´s last blog ..Movies in a Minute: Home Alone =-.
Ummmm, wouldn’t your wedding with lots of 80′s tunes sort of require a black church choir? I mean, if your wedding doesn’t include a live reenactment of “Like A Prayer” what kind of marriage could you possibly hope to have?
Seriously!
.-= Miss Tricky´s last blog ..Miss Tricky has Moved!! =-.
Aw, look at you miss shmoopy sentimental girl…
I think you’re going to end up in one of those huge, big, white puffy wedding dresses. I can picture it now!! hahaha
Love your list… you are who you are!
.-= Ams´s last blog ..I’ve got some good news, and some bad news… =-.
LOVE what you said about your wedding. I’m certain that if I ever do get married, it will be outside, and there will be no shoes allowed.
.-= J´s last blog ..Girly + Manly = Mirly. =-.
Yay for the fantasy wedding have-nots!
.-= LesleyG´s last blog ..10 to 20 =-.
our wedding was all about the 80′s music and open bar
team open bar!
the wifey is all about the gimme gimmie gimmie too but she is also incapable of buying a present and not telling you what it is.
I am also glad for this corner of the interwebz too
I might have to do one of these!
And I’m totally mad at you, yesterday I started a post and titled it as Blah Blah Blah a la Rebel Mel
Not really blah blah blah.. you get it.
And I’m not really mad at you.
…
.-= rebel mel´s last blog ..I took the tunnel to China last night. =-.
I’m definitely a member of the heart-on-sleeve club. My dad’s been telling me for years not to be but hey, it’s me.
Also, I’m super allergic to cats (and therefore kind of afraid of them) but all the cute pics you share of yours? make me not so afraid of them.
.-= Nora´s last blog ..Holidays =-.
I will be stealing this. Yes.
you maybe can’t tell from interwebs … but i’m totally heart on my sleeve, too.
and the ralphie may joke in the first comment made me laugh loudly at work. whoops. haha.
p.s. my wedding will be a bbq. i refuse to spend $34985023984750398475 on one day.
.-= siovhan´s last blog ..month of music day 5 =-.
Meleah f*cking loves it when people talk in the THIRD PERSON!! Especially because Meleah does that herself – and – quite often.
However, Meleah thinks LiLu ROCKED the 3rd person better than she ever could!!
PS: Moog LOATHES any 3rd person blog posts!
.-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Doing Things Differently – My Week In Review – [Part Seventeen] =-.
Love this list! I’m totally gonna steal the idea as well.
I’m turning into one of those puppy obsessed people. But the difference is, I’m not funny about it, I’m just addicted <3
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..Introducing Lilly! =-.
Ooh, I don’t like surprises. Out with it!
.-= Ronnica´s last blog ..Moving Moving Moving Weekend =-.
If I met you I would totally be spanking your ass right now.
It’s another thing I have been known to do while drunk. That, or just general ass-grabbing…
.-= Paula´s last blog ..MESSED UP . . . =-.
This is absolutely HILARIOUS. There are a lot of things that I “don’t do.” Most seafood, “healthy” desserts (as far as I’m concerned, that’s just code for “cardboard”), anything involving things that fly or slither… I’m pretty cool, what can I say?
Thanks for stopping by and for your sweet comment — your blog is hysterical; can’t wait for more!
xxoo Josie
http://winksmilestyle.blogspot.com
.-= Josie´s last blog ..get the look — striped dresses. =-.
i went to the movie the other day and there was this one ad about butter (yeah……) called LowLow and it’s catch phrase is, get this, Live it, Love it.
i thought of you straight away.
.-= the girl in stiletto´s last blog ...musing while waiting for my pizza to be delivered. =-.
I’m with you on the secrets and surprises. It drives my husband crazy, because he loves to surprise me and to be surprised, and I always spill the beans.
Awesome list.
.-= Wendy´s last blog ..Sucker =-.
This is as mushy as LiLu gets.
.-= Nikki´s last blog ..Knocked up in San Diego =-.
I’m sure you get this a lot.. but aside from you having cats and me having a dog, we’re like… completely the same fucking person. it’s kind of awesome.
.-= maddy´s last blog ..more memorial day. =-.
Cosigned, except I do hide emotions and I guess that’s a pretty big difference. Also more of a dog person, so I guess we can never be friends.
.-= Ashley´s last blog ..Writing a Life =-.
Talking about yourself in third person=awesomeness. I totally agree with you on the wedding thing, except, well, maybe the 80s music. Totally not an 80s person, except for Asia. I love me some Asia and U2.
.-= Christina Harper´s last blog ..A Supernatural Summer =-.
I am SO with you on the weddings. I want dancing, awesome people, great food, and a massive bar with all the people I love wasted singing Journey. Especially Grandma.
Hope doesn’t talk in the third perso… oh crap.
.-= Hope´s last blog ..The One Thing I Didn’t Do This Weekend… =-.
I’m with you on the “not hiding emotions one.” Now if men understood this shit, my life would be easier. I’d probably be less of an alcoholic too…
.-= Citygal´s last blog ..“It’s complicated” is not a relationship status =-.
i don’t stand idly by either, i guess that’s what makes us awesome. well that and a plethora of other ridiculous things. like the fact that i just used plethora, really who does that?
.-= katelin´s last blog ..3 Months. =-.
Hurray – I’m not the only who takes pics of my cat lounging in the sink!
Fojoy doesn’t miss LiLu’s blog. Sah-weet!
.-= fojoy´s last blog ..What Did You Call Me? =-.
Haha Very awesome! Especially love the first one.
.-= Veronica´s last blog ..Halfway Through The Year =-.
I don’t do romancey things either. My husband knows if he wants to wow me for a birthday or Christmas, he can get me a big old Barnes and Noble gift card. I’m simple like that.
.-= nikki´s last blog .."Ramona’s confidence in herself was badly shaken." or Ramona the Brave =-.
Thinking about slimy seafood may make me want to hurl a bit, but I don’t do that either.
.-= Elizabeth´s last blog ..Confessional intentions =-.
Well shite, I should have started my meme tomorrow and did this today! I don’t do any of these either, although I might be a little motivational occasionally. I also love your idea of a wedding, that’s pretty much how awesome mine was.
.-= Angie´s last blog ..Day 1 of meme! =-.
Lilu doesn’t…ever disappoint
.-= Alyxherself´s last blog ..Things that are great to me, randomly… =-.
I dont do surprises either. And the pics of your cats never fail to amuse me.
Can I just say one thing?
I fucking love your blog.
I have not seen or heard of these list until yours. I like it!
.-= Michelle Pixie´s last blog ..Duck Fest =-.
Been awhile since I dropped by. Always entertaining Lilu. I love Oprah, what Oprah says goes. If she had a cult I would join it
.-= chele´s last blog ..sex bomb =-.
I’m a heart-on-sleeve chick as well. Must be good to pull off a poker face for once
.-= krissy´s last blog ..It’s Ladies’ (plus one guy’s) Night! =-.
awesome! love the cat in the sink. keep the cat pics coming!
I LOVE IT. lol.
now enter my giveaway so i can send you something already.
.-= Tyler´s last blog ..giveaway as promised =-.
Please keep the cat jokes, tweets and the like coming. Are you excited for Boston soon?!
.-= Susan´s last blog ..i could never be landlocked =-.
Lilu doesn’t do kittens? Whats wrong wif kittens?
Aren’t cats kittens before they become cats?
You’re hilarious! I don’t get slimy seafood either. I like to chew my shit.
Words to live by
.-= Kayla´s last blog ..Rest in Peace Rue. =-.
The best feature of my wedding was the open bar for all our alcoholic friends! And I love me some slimy sushi, so I disagree on that one and I also am confused by your “no kittens” comment. What if the kittens are farting? How about then Lilu? How about then?
.-= shimmerfairy´s last blog ..That’s how I roll =-.
No big wedding for me, either. I want a courthouse and lots of vodka.
I adore you. This is quite perfect.
Best,
Hannah Katy
what about an asian church choir?
You rocked the list! Happy that you are just you through and through, and that your blog is a reflection of that! Here, here to no apologies, standing up for your loved ones, and being a Heart on Your Sleeve Girl!