Money.
Delicious, envy green, key-to-all-things shoes and pedicures and cute Betty Draper-esque dresses money.
We’ve had quite the love/hate relationship for as long as I can remember.
Hate because I’ve never had much of it.
Love because it’s shaped my closet, my friends, and most of all, my life.
I took a job at the local TGI Friday’s when I was 16, because my father thought I should “earn” all the silly clothes I wanted from Express and The Limited (back when The Limited actually made cool clothes, and not just uniforms for middle-aged women trying to repress their sexuality). Basically, my dad was the father from Calvin & Hobbes who was always telling me that dealing with annoying things like “wearing a sweater instead of turning on the heat” and “camping” and “getting a job” would build character.
(Love you, Pops.)
Little did I know that was the beginning of a decade I would spend in restaurants, and that the way I earned that money would determine the kind of people I surrounded myself with for the rest of my life.
Those TGIFs folks are my oldest friends. When I went down South to UNC Chapel Thrill, I actually joined a sorority, mostly for shits and giggles (and a place to live on campus). Those girls didn’t become my friends. I probably couldn’t tell you one of their names.
The people I worked with at the Carolina Brewery, at The Weathervane, and at multiple restaurants around Southpoint mall… those are my college friends who’ll be at my wedding, who I can’t live without seeing every year, whose baby!!! I couldn’t be more excited for.
And finally, here in DC… my friends may be young professionals, but most of them worked in the service industry at some point. They learned the value of a hard day’s work, they fight with me over the bill when we go to lunch, and they always leave a healthy tip for our server.
It is a culture that’s shaped my financial values, my friends, and the way I live my life.
I may have scored a 49 on Charles Schwab Community Services‘s new handy dandy financial fitness check-up tool, but I’m pretty sure that’s mostly because I’m forgetful about bills sometimes, and I’m not great about saving for a rainy day. (I bet Chuck can help with that.)
I'm pretty sure this is a "meh".
Overall, I’m pretty darn content with the impact that money’s had on my life.
Because yes, Dad, I’ll say it… YOU WERE RIGHT.
It did build some goddamn character.
{ 37 comments }
I’d rather buy character than build it.
Probably why I scored so low on my financial fitness thing.
Money makes the world go ’round, sister! And, I was also in a sorority in college, and I only have ONE friend that I keep in contact with on a regular basis…ALL of my other friends have either come from high school (known since first grade) or college (non-sorority) or work.
The work friends know you best because (if you are like me) they see you more hours of the day than anyone else you know.
I’d love to play…
if I were freakin’ 20 something! My 40+ year old brain doesn’t remember much about college. It’s all a drunken bur!
Hey! I was one of those girls you met in the sorority! Oh wait no I wasn’t.
Also does building character take a lot of time? And can I pay someone else (in poems) to build it for me?
Money??!!?? What’s this mony thing you speak of? If it isn’t plastic, I don’t know what you are talking about. Bank Card, Credit Card, Direct Deposit…what is this mony thing?
I know what it is to starve. But my shitty house, my shitty truck, they are mine. And the only debt I have is my mortgage and a little bit on my line of credit and that is IT. My credit card is zero.
So I went from starving to a roof all on my own. Character is a good thing.
And most important of all, GOOD reliable friends. No fakies, you get rid of them.
my daddy did the same thing for me. the older i get, the more eternally grateful i am to him for teaching me how important work ethic is.
and i think EVERYONE should be REQUIRED to hold a service-industry job at least once in his or her life. i think that’s DOUBLY true for anyone going to law school. it would make the world SO much better…
My dad is like that too. I’ve had a job since I was 14, most of them in the service industry. Right now I’m a waitress for the summer, which at the very least will help pay the bills and make for some funny blog posts.
Money issues make me want to drink my face off every day. I worked at Ruby Tuesdays (TGI’s arch rival) during HS and college – I think my dad and your dad were twins or something. Anyways, here I am, 15 years later and still poor. I’ve been reading books and trying to save money, but living paycheck-to-paycheck is how it goes, especially since teachers can’t really ask for a raise.
On another note, when were you in CH? I lived there for three years after college (although I still acted like I was in college). I go back a few times a year just so I can get coffee from A Southern Season…haha
@citygal,
I gradu-mated in ot 6! We probably were sitting on Top O’s balcony together at some point!
Whaaaa are you doing messing with Charles Schwab?!
Ugh, waiting tables does shape your for life, doesn’t it? I’ve been thinking about this same topic recently. Someone I know is divorcing, and their spouse is, how shall we say, old money. It’s funny how much more I like this person now that they’re suddenly not connected to this snobby elitist group of rich folks. It’s strange how quickly people change their attitudes based on who they’re around.
I’m not sure I even want to know my financial fitness score. It’ll probably be embarrassing.
I also waitressed at TGI Fridays to make money in college. Can’t say that I made any life-long friends (I just got sexually harassed by the kitchen manager and made lowsy tips), but I think everyone should work in the food industry and retail to appreciate the work that goes behind it. And it makes sense you’re still friends with your former co-workers – you have the same values and work ethic.
Totally with you on the love/hate relationship with money…made evident by my ho-riffic credit score.
Ahh, wish I had a dad more like yours — my parents were more like, “focus on your education, don’t work, it’ll ruin your marks, YOU NEED GOOD MARKS” so I was a stressful student who felt I had no money for coffee and thus could not survive haha. Although I’ve had a few jobs here and there, I know I’ll feel like an ‘official’ adult the moment that I earn an annual salary!
That is the most positive rating scale I have ever seen! Where is the ‘You’re financially screwed’ section? It’s all like:
91-100 Excellent! ******
71-90 Fantastic! ****
51-70 Grrreat! ***
31-50 Good! **
0-30 Still A-OK, even if you’re homeless! *
one day, i swear i will make enough.
p.s. i heart your dad and I don’t even know him.
My friends all worked in the industry too- I think we somehow gravitate toward each other.
everyone should have to work in service, or fast food. it makes you such a better customer!
I am so with you on this. More than anything, working in the service industry developed my sense of empathy – and my love of a good story. You work hard, you drink hard, and you’re giving, and even though I’d probably score where you did (maybe below…), hey, I can’t complain too much.
(Even though more money would always be appreciated, so let’s hope I get my ass a raise).
Servers are the best people to work with. And you’re right, the shit you learn in the trenches and on the hot line stays with you.
This post made me all warm and fuzzy… and seriously, The Limited?!??? I totally forgot about that place!!! AWESOME.
I worked my way through high school and college babysitting, working as a camp counselor, tutoring, etc. My parents just wouldn’t GIVE me money. I’m happy for it though. Like you, I realize today that the people I enjoy most have similar backgrounds and values as me.
Parents always seem to be right don’t they? So annoying.
I definitely do NOT want to know what my financial fitness score says.
Not a day goes by at my current job where I don’t think about going back to work as a waitress…the money would probably be better!
Once you have enough money, time and imagination are your only limiting factors on earth. You score high on the last two for sure.
Does Domino’s Pizza count as service work? My managers names were Elvis and Wang and they supplied my underage drinking.
My Husband always tips big. He was a busboy at Outback Steakhouse. I hate Outback and he considers it fine dining.
Ah, the service industry. I think everyone who waited tables in their late teens/early twenties ends up with a lifelong sympathy for servers….!
haha, sounds like we have awfully similar dads. first job at 15, paid for all my own expenses (including textbooks!) in college. still paying off the loans that put me through college. worked as a waitress, as a hostess, in retail, at a summer camp, as a TA, in a bar, you name it. lived paycheck-to-paycheck for the first 3 years of my post-college life. but man, even when i was so poor i had to check my bank balance on thursday evening to see if i could afford 1 beer at HH before my paycheck cleared at midnight? i was still SO PROUD of myself for making my own money and pulling my own weight. thanks, dad
That guy who tipped me in pennies that one time because of a kitchen mix-up definitely never worked in food service …
Another plus side to waiting tables was free meals. Man … maybe I should quit this corporate crap and go back to … lugging around trays of food all day/night instead of browsing google reader all day? Wait, never mind …
When I was dating, they way a guy treated a server was a huge sign. If he was an ass, it was a dealbreaker.
I think EVERYONE should wait tables at least once…character building fo sho. When I was in college, the money I made waiting tables went straight towards acrylic nails (I went through a phase) and yes, Express. I just couldn’t get ENOUGH black stretchy pants and “going out tops”!
My first job was McDonald’s followed by working as a kitchen aide in a nursing home. A server but no tips and they didn’t have much of a menu to order from (which was a good thing because if they had more than three items I would have screwed it up). Nothing builds character like fishing through the dumpster for some teeth. I love money but it doesn’t seem to like me very much. Not unlike some of my ex husbands.
Going to restaurants with former servers is so much nicer than going with people who don’t have a clue. I always end up having to tip double to cover the rude assholes who didn’t leave any tip at all because they didn’t get a new drink right after they’re second sip of their current drink. Idiots.
I didn’t work in the service industry, but I did teach kids piano lessons … so I like to think my patience was amped up. Plus I always tip waiters/waitresses because my friends were those people for so long.
And I wish I had more of that green stuff…but I’m learnin to deal.
“back when The Limited actually made cool clothes, and not just uniforms for middle-aged women trying to repress their sexuality” -love it!
And wooo for crappy part-time jobs to get us through college and clothing bills! A powerful bond is formed when you’ve arrived into work with another girl at 7am on a Sunday morning with a hangover (or still drunk) and made bacon and sausage and tuna and sweetcorn mix together! An even tighter bond is formed with you non-drunk co-worker who takes pity on you and makes you tea! *sigh* You don’t get that kind of commitment in the Office World of Career People!
Okay maybe I should try out this job thing, too…
My parents did the same thing! So, while everyone else spent their weekends hanging out and sleeping in, I was working. And I’ll admit, I hated them for it.
But I agree that now as an ‘adult’ I have a much firmer grasp on what it means to save, on what it means to be responsible with money, I even learned a thing or two on the importance of a rainy day account. I know I would have NEVER made it through 6 months of unemployment, buying a house young, getting out of credit card debt etc without the lessons I learned working weekends in high school and having a job all through college.
I hate to agree with you, but the folks were in fact right all along.