You all know this game by now. Time for another installment of “The Shiz My Boyfriend Says.” Woot!
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In bed, Axe Murderer is within grabbing distance…
B: Hey, grab me a cat!
I snatch her up and try to cat-wrangle her, but fail… and she jumps away, using my left boob as a platform.
Me: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
B: That’s what you get for grabbing her.
Me: You told me to grab you a cat!!!!
B: Psssh. If I told you to jump off a bridge would you do it?
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On gchat…
Me: I don’t want to work out tonight. I’m periody.
B: I dont want to work out either… I’m sympathy-periody.
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While watching Dexter; the main character is having a hard time assisting a friend suffering from lung cancer with suicide…
Me: Would you kill me if I was suffering like that?
B: Totally.
Me: You WOULD?
B: Sure. {All tender and shit} You know, if you really wanted me to.
Moments later, the conversation turns to the notion that Murray and Axe Murderer will, in fact, pass on one day.
B: Stop! No! They’ll never leave us!!
Me: OH. So you can cavalierly discuss going all Kevorkian on me, but the mere mention of our cats dying someday is unthinkable?!
B: Pretty much.
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As we’re about to watch Vampire Diaries…
B: Ready for some VD?!
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Domestic bliss, my friends.
{ 80 comments }
I think I would like to spend one day in Murray’s body, just to watch the two of you.
Let’s hope you have YOUR brain. Cause his three wee brain cells wouldn’t do the trick.
.-= A´s last blog ..John who? =-.
“I snatch her up and try to cat-wrangle her, but fail… and she jumps away, using my left boob as a platform.”
I hate it when cats do this or when they stand on your boobs and won’t lie down! Hurts like crazy!
I swear they do it on purpose, too.
.-= Pauline´s last blog ..Frustrating New Art Class =-.
Jason won’t watch VD with me no matter how many times I tell him how many hotties are on it EVERY! SINGLE! WEEK!
There must be some sci-fi or porn or sci-fi porn on at the same time or something.
Hmmm. Your gay boyfriend won’t watch it, but my straight boyfriend will…
I’m just going to leave that one alone.
.-= Ben´s last blog ..New toy for me? New toy for you. =-.
Domestic Bliss it is…
Domestic Bliss a la The Four Stooges, more like.
.-= k8´s last blog ..Sprouts and Growth =-.
We’re coming to DC soon & we need to meet.
“Grab me a cat” LOL
YES! When?? We must Happy Hour!
.-= maddy´s last blog ..a grad. =-.
the question should ALWAYS be if you’re ready for VD. the answer to which is, of course, a resounding YES.
if you have this much fun with cats, imagine the endless entertainment value of a baby!
Do they poop in a litter box, too? If not, count me out.
The fact that you have a cat named Axe Murderer makes me love you forever.
That’s what you get when you let the boy name one of them. Sigh.
.-= Wendy´s last blog ..My Weekend, A Blessing, & THE GIVEAWAY =-.
I’m not sure why he’s so upset about the cats dying.
Because then you stuff them and THEN just think how easily you’ll be able to grab them.
See? All better?
That could get expensive… Axe M is getting a little chunky…
.-= moooooog35´s last blog ..The One about a Mystery Raise that does NOT Involve my Penis =-.
Ha! Thank you. I needed to laugh this morning.
I’m here all blog!
.-= LesleyG´s last blog ..A special place =-.
roflmbo.. as a furbaby momma to 4 cats and 2 dogs life with them can get painful at times. I totally empathize with teh platform leap of death by your cat from places claws should not be
SO true.
.-= angel´s last blog ..What I meant to say with Chief.. I kinda get introspective ya’ll =-.
Axe Murderer?? are you kidding me?? omg.. that’s terrific!!
jesus christ, i don’t know how you can ut up with your boyfriend
i would probably kill him before he’s all Kevorkian on me!! you guys are so hilarious!! you totally made my day even if i didn’t understand this whole thing going on there 
love.xoxo
Ha. When someone makes you laugh 24/7, it’s easier not to kill them.
.-= seyma´s last blog ..Ladies&Gentlemen, Meet new Edward Cullen from Eclipse =-.
These are some of my favorite posts to read. (Though I do love the occasional schmoop as well!)
I can’t think about Loki passing away some day. I know it’s inevitable, but it makes me sad!
And he definitely uses my boob for leverage as well. Ouch.
They’re lucky they’re cute.
.-= Megan´s last blog ..Firefly =-.
I thought mooog’s comment said that you’d ‘get all their stuff’ when they die and I don’t know about you but I can’t wait to be allowed to climb on that little carpeted platform and look out the window. Woo!
I’m confused.
Probably as it should be.
um, yeah, I’ll take a pass on the VD
I was just kidding.
Unless chlamydia counts.
What?
Boob leverage is the most PAINFUL kind of leverage!!
YOU know what I’m talkin ’bout! *boob five*
.-= Emily Jane´s last blog ..PUBLISHED! =-.
“Sympathy-periody” = word of the year.
My ovaries hope not.
.-= Emil´s last blog ..Way Back Wednesday: A Blast From My Emotional Past =-.
i currently have a scratch in my armpit from where bella tried to jump up on my desk and somehow failed, and even more inexplicably landed a claw to my armpit – while i was SITTING UP – in the process.
Is it bad that it makes me feel better that our cats are klutzy, too?
.-= Alice´s last blog ..big hats and popped collars =-.
Sympathy-periody – love it.
I also love a couple that can bond over Dexter – it’s a ritual for me & mine as well.
So, SO good.
.-= Girly´s last blog ..Life Makeover Day 18 =-.
“sympathy-periody” is pretty good, I like that term. Haha.
It is a gem. A gross gem, but a gem all the same.
.-= Taylor´s last blog ..I make bad decisions =-.
I love that you guys are into Dexter. E. and I watch it religiously, and we are patiently (or not) awaiting Season 4. Ah – love!
We’re burning through Season 3, and then we’ll be right there suffering with you
.-= Herding Cats´s last blog ..UnBELIZEable (and other stories) =-.
I bet grab me a cat is your code for doing the nasty, am I right?
Shhhhh. No, Mom! Of course not…
.-= Skylers Dad´s last blog ..Bad Tat Tuesday; Go Big or Go Home! =-.
haha.. ready for some VD… love it!!!
by the way… i’m so glad to know you watch vampire diaries too.. cause every thurs night when we watch.. hubs is all.. do you think we are the only ppl over the age of 17 to watch this… now! i know not!!!
It’s the only thing getting me through until True Blood comes back… sad, but true.
.-= Randi´s last blog ..more mom gifts =-.
“B: I dont want to work out either… I’m sympathy-periody.”
LOL… I love days of The Shiz My Boyfriend Says…. that was classic.. as was the death of your cats over your death… ;o)
He was shockingly more animated. I mean, I know they’re fuzzy and cute and all, but COME ON. I put out!!
Well. You asked for it.
Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiing.
.-= Shinerpunch´s last blog ..Awesome Sauce: Now With Less Awesome =-.
Ugh, my boobs have been cat jumping-platforms also. It is the WORST. Especially when they dig their claws in right before leaping off.
Who are you kidding? They ALWAYS dig their claws in right before leaping off.
.-= Soda and Candy´s last blog ..Over to You: And now for something completely different… =-.
awww, you found a man who is sympathy-periody. He’s a keeper
Truth!
.-= Nora´s last blog ..Read or Die (and a giveaway!) =-.
I cannot imagine two people more perfect for one another. Really. You all are like a sitcom couple, all snappy one-liners and loveydoveyness. I look forward to the next “episode.”
True love is full of zingers in our house. <3
Ha, that is fabulous. I <3 your boyfriend.
Ha! You and me both!
We believe in the whole periody-sympathy thing too. I claim I get a five day window during which I can eat junk food to my heart’s content. In the spirit of egalitarianism, I grant my boyfriend the same window.
Is there a “like” button on here???
.-= Children of the 90s´s last blog ..Where Do They Come Up With This Stuff? A Sampling of Truly Strange 80s and 90s Children’s Shows =-.
Hey Lilu!This supercool n sexy.Luv it. I drop by at times n always find TMI THursday grt!I’ve a new poem n hope u will drop by again soon.
“Supercool n sexy” is my favorite flavor…
.-= deeptesh´s last blog ..Snow dreams =-.
I always love the Shiz! There should be some award for putting up with a goofball constantly. You know like free monthly pedicure for maintaining your sanity the whole time. I know my wife would be all over it, god bless her!
That might work… if I wasn’t JUST as goofy.
“sympathy periody” is my favorite one..but it has me wondering if girls can be sympathy periody too..cause then I’d probably never have to work out again
Oooo. Dangerous waters, my friend…
.-= Kristen´s last blog ..Wishful Wednesday – Fluent =-.
grab me a cat is a commonly overheard phrase at my house! Good to know I’m not alone.
namaste!
No one’s alone in my corner. … We’re all weirdos.
There is nothing better than a man who is sympathy-periody.
It is truly a blessing.
.-= Lemon Gloria´s last blog ..Learning to fight, and fight fair =-.
Oh my gosh I’m OBSESSED with Dexter. And you guys are my favorite couple!
How good is it?! And thanks!
I know the exact movement you are talking about when a cat catapults itself off of you… Terrible! These posts might be my faves!
Haha, thanks!
.-= Kristen´s last blog ..GW Parkway 10 miler Recap (Finally) =-.
Dexter is the best. Cat’s suck when they do that… I love these posts… They crack me up!
Then I’m doing my job!
.-= Kelly´s last blog .."I’m better with the money, so I handle the bills…" =-.
Bahahaha, love you two.
PS- Do you have to look up the roman numerals before you put them in the post title?! Haha
Of course. But don’t tell anyone… xo
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..Where In The World Wednesday =-.
You wouldn’t jump off a bridge, right?
Not unless you threw a burrito off it.
.-= linlah´s last blog ..i’m talking about me here so listen up =-.
Maybe it’s because it was a long day and frankly I’m feeling a little poopy. But this was my favorite Shiz, like, ever. Hilars.
Haha, awesome! Glad I could brighten it a bit!
I’m assuming that Dextor, which I’m unfamiliar with, is NOT the cartoon Dextor’s Lab?!
.-= Mo “Mad Dog” Stoneskin´s last blog ..Cheap Dutch Lager =-.
The sympathy-periody one totally got me! My ex used to say he’s on male period when he got moody, but being sympathy-periody definitely beats that!
.-= Bitter Chocolate´s last blog ..oh fudge =-.
they totally do the boob-as-a-platform-jumping thing on purpose. little bitches…
.-= yourstrulydear´s last blog ..BESTeam feature: waterwaif =-.
Domestic Bliss sounds just about right.
.-= RomanticComedee´s last blog ..Exercise Fail… =-.
that dude’s got his shit sorted….
.-= dog3oy´s last blog ..I don’t feel well =-.
he does use sound logic.
I too often like to tell her to get that cat and then chide her for trying to get the cat.
.-= Clevelandpoet´s last blog ..The one where I salute Roadhouse =-.
If I were lying in bed with a man and he said “grab me a cat,” that’s DEFINITELY not what I would have thought he wanted!!
.-= GasStationCappuccino´s last blog ..Okay, Maybe I Am Stupid =-.
Sympathy periody…best phrase EVER!
.-= Kristin´s last blog ..Guest Post: Sangria Packs a Sweet Punch =-.
I just can’t get enough of this post!
Sympathy-periody is now my favorite word.
Dexter = Best Show EVER
B = Best Boyfriend Ever!
.-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Random Acts Of Kindness =-.
Now that’s love.
I’m always asking MrB if he will perform a mercy killing if required and he keeps refusing!
.-= WendyB´s last blog ..Outfit Post: Learning Manners From Gang Members =-.
You. Two. Are. Adorable. That is all.
.-= Heather Rose´s last blog ..There He Is! =-.
Sympathy-periody… ROFL, I might just have to find a way to incorporate that into my vocabulary.
.-= Veronica´s last blog ..Happy Hanson Day =-.
Oh boyfriends and the shiz they say…
I love “Sympathy-periody.” That’s amazing.
.-= Claire Marie´s last blog ..Bloggy Type Stuff. =-.
My cat is a shoulder cat. I’d heard of shoulder cats, but didn’t believe in them. Now I know. She also finds me convenient as a launching platform to higher places in the house. Thank goodness it’s the graceful cat who does this, if it were her siblings, I’d have no skin.
If I’m ever suffering like that or am in a coma with no hope of ever being more than a vegetable – I want to be put out of my misery. Please take note.
.-= OG´s last blog ..What I Want To Know Wednesday – First of the month edition. =-.
Sorry to go all name droppy, but I just have to say that I used to be Jack K.’s neighbor. The last apartment I lived in was a little shithole in the Detroit suburb where he’s from. When he was paroled, he moved in! He seemed like quite a nice man, actually
.-= A Super Girl´s last blog ..Motivation =-.
when does shizmyboyfriendsays become shizmyhusband says?
Me thinks you two need your own reality show.
.-= alliecakes´s last blog ..In the Meantime.. =-.
VD is the best. Seriously. I love that shit.
.-= Kellie´s last blog ..Until Next Time… =-.
you and b are hilarious. and i love me some VD too!
I love this feature. It makes me happy that you two have such a good and fun relationship. Domestic bliss indeed!
.-= Grace´s last blog ..Oh, that sounds like a good show! I’ll check it out. =-.
B’s adoration of the cats always makes me smile…and laugh! Thanks, LiLu! (Oh, and B.) xoxo
.-= City Girl´s last blog ..Passing the test =-.
AHHH!!! You so have VD!! XD
.-= Melissa Blake´s last blog ..Someday. =-.
cats > humans. It’s a law of nature.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Hostage Situation =-.
i am loving “sympathy periody”
and i can’t bear the thought of my cats leaving me!
.-= kacy´s last blog ..please see I.D. =-.
Dude, my 25 pound dog likes to use me and my boobs as a platform to launch herself from way too often.
You two crack me up, and are too cute ( I know you just love being called cute (lol))
.-= Lucy´s last blog ..The Tyra Banks Show, um, yeah =-.
Sympathy-periody! I love, love that!
You guys are too cute.
.-= Stephany´s last blog ..By The Numbers… =-.
The boob platform move…. that’s a good one. Sounds like your BF is hilarious! Good pick. My husband entertains me to no end. I don’t know what I would do without him as a source of entertainment.
.-= Holly Renee´s last blog ..The Mountains Told Me So =-.
you’re the luckiest girl ever. Who wouldn’t want a guy who’s periody-sympathetic?
.-= Cheryl´s last blog ..Emails, Penis enlargements, and I might have way too much time on my hands. =-.
Lol hilarious as always! The Boy is the exact same with our kittens *sigh*
.-= Hermia´s last blog ..Secret Story No.5 =-.
Dear Lilu,
After that episode (several years ago) I have never been able to eat key lime pie since…you know, just in case.
How about you?
Later Gator,
Little Fish
.-= Little Fish´s last blog ..Is That a Patrol Car? =-.
Sympathy-periody takes the cake, for sure. I call it “Santa Claus” to my boyfriend … yes, I am sane.
And I hate when animals crush the boobage with their paws, so freaking painful!
On that note, hope you have a great weekend
.-= Nikolett´s last blog ..each day is a new life =-.
Grab me a cat!
I’ve said this before, but I must say it again: B rocks.
.-= Michelle (bikramyogachick)´s last blog ..Day 9: The New Regulars =-.
VD could be the next STD. I and totally get you on the periody thing. When I’m there, the fiance and I are both suffering.
.-= speakyourself´s last blog ..I love my mom! =-.
I really cannot wait to meet you in Vegas. Just because of this post.
.-= Mel´s last blog ..Realizing When Something is Over =-.
Heh. Sympathy periody.
.-= Sadako´s last blog ..If These Websites Could Talk =-.
Please never stop blogging!!! I love shiz my boyfriend says!
You all crack me up!
.-= caroline´s last blog ..Wednesday weigh-in =-.