I’m back, bitches!
…And more exhausted than ever.
A night of debauchery in Key West, followed by three days at a gorgeous resort helping a bestie pull off the wedding of the year…
Followed by a 32-hour expedition to get home.
It’s amazing how in just three flight delays and a night in a sterile airport hotel, you can completely forget why your skin is sunkissed. All that remains is a set of angry bowels torturing you for what you put it through over the weekend.
Nevertheless, the wedding was absolutely beautiful. The weather was perfect, I got my boobs into my dress somehow, and our sweet bride was a saint compared to the bridezilla horror stories I’ve heard. Both of their families were a blast to drink with get to know, and for the first time in a decade, I managed to get what any Scotch Irish person knows is a tan, and any normal person would call “no longer quite so vampire-y looking.”
Wedding pics to come, but here’s a few of my favorites from our night in Key West…
We're in Miami, bitch! (And clothing is optional...)
"Gimme an awkward morning over any lonely night"
At least he's honest.
Spring Break ot 6 relived!
This is actually a pretty standard sighting down there. ... And I think I bought the same shades the next day.
Is there a "Stuff White People DO" site? Because this belongs on it. (Yes, that is an iPad... at the beach.)*
*I should probably mention that the dude with the iPad is B. Since you’re all making fun of him. He was very careful with his new toy… Look Ma, no sand!
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Hahahah that t-shirt is great.
Jessica @ How Sweet´s last blog ..Mother Lovett’s Chocolate Chip Cookies.
YAY! Glad you had fun, my wedding weekend rocked as well, and I ALSO fit in my dress, always a plus
There was a girl in my high school who singlehandedly started a dress code because she wore a shirt like that. To school. In tenth grade. In Upstate NY.
Glad you are back! Cant wait for the wedding pics and to see how u look! The T is pretty awesome
.
harini´s last blog ..I am Awesome!
Waahoo! What idiot takes an iPad to the beach. DUDE! YOU ARE AT THE BEACH!
k8´s last blog ..Not Feeling the Funny
I Love Key West. Like want to move there love it!
My dog’s already there, just waiting for me…wearing pink shades…
MommaKiss´s last blog ..On the reservation
An iPad at the beach? No wonder he’s sitting alone. In Miami!
Frannie´s last blog ..Vacations Are Supposed to be Relaxing Right?
I want to knock B off of that chair and take his place there. Not fair that he gets a perfectly good beach day and uses it to cruise the ipad. Not fair at all.
Kim´s last blog ..Just Like Heaven
HAH! Some good pics.
But really… An Ipad at the beach? Wrong!!
middleagedwaitress´s last blog ..Play on, Playah’s
Hahahahah everyone was making fun of B. That was hilarious though, we are SO white. P.S. that pic of me is hideous, THANKS.
Kristin´s last blog ..Happy New Year!
Oh gosh – Backless Shirt Lady (BSL) looks like my dad’s wife. But BSL is, sadly, less skanky looking.
saratogajean´s last blog ..Yes, peacocks.
I can’t believe we were in Key West at the same time! :p
Hope´s last blog ..A Little Dolphin Told Me….
Oh Gawd, I am SO jealous that your bestie chose a beautiful dress for you to wear, cos my bestie had these awful flowery poofy things made for us, and I swear to god I looked like a couch from the 70′s. BUT that was back in 94, so there’s that for an excuse.
And I used to not be able to tan either. Then I had kids. Now I can tan. WTF?
Kris´s last blog ..The avoidance of regret.
How in the Hell did you get a picture of my back???? AND why didn’t you come over and say hello???
Geesh, I can’t believe you didn’t like my top…..
Is it sad that instead of thinking “Oooh, the beach”, I went “Oooh, I really want an iPad”?
Emil´s last blog ..Way Back Wednesday: A Blast From My Emotional Past
hahaha! “Look Ma, there’s a sweet picture of the ocean on my iPad!”
Tyler´s last blog ..Calling for aid from all you chicks….oh and just some tattoo
I cannot believe he had his iPad with him at the beach. THE BEACH.
Also, missed you!
DCPrincess´s last blog ..Piece by Piece
Hah! Stuff white people do. There’s always http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com, which you were probably referencing, because you are both cool and subtle that way.
Glad you had fun whilst there anyhow even if the trip back wasn’t aces.
eric´s last blog ..Showdown at the Lowes (Scontro di Butteros)
The tshirt should have said, “The drunker I get, the less likely it is that I will be able to take care of business with you tonight.”
Not that I know from experience or anything.
Sara´s last blog ..I’d Like To Thank God For This Award… / Weigh-In Wednesday
Jealous.
Kristina P.´s last blog ..Man-icure
I can’t wait to see the wedding pics so we can see how your IITGI progress went!
Also? I kind of want to steal that dog.
StaceyParadise´s last blog ..On choosing your own adventure
I recall living this experience with a bridesmaid dress. I think along with a ridic amount of exercise, I also didn’t eat for the week prior. Good stuff.
colby´s last blog ..The most expensive vacation that wasn’t
And not a single picture of the “tan”? Or wait…was that it and I missed it?
I really don’t tan, either. And I’m not even upset about it anymore!
shine´s last blog ..Well, no, we didn’t take any pictures.
Sounds like a BLAST!! And the dress was lovely!!
I’m jealous. All those pics reminded me of my honeymoon in Mexico. Boy oh boy do I want to go back there!
Oh, you do look all sunkissed! Now I’m the only vampire around! Glad you had fun and that the iPad made it to the beach and back unscathed.
Lemon Gloria´s last blog ..The way it is now
That pirate dog is awesome. (Insert poop deck joke here.)
BeckEye´s last blog ..American Idol 9: That Don’t Impress Me Much
@Lemon Gloria: Don’t worry, there are plenty of pale Scotch-Irish gals lurking around. Like me.
LiLu, I totally feel for B. Because I’d be on the beach with my iPad too. Blogging about it. “Hey y’all, so I’m on the beach, which my iPad, which is saran wrapped for protection…” It’s like it sucks our minds from us and makes us it’s slaves. Oh, Apple.
Liz´s last blog ..I’m … so… ronrey…
Being scottish, I get it. I am waiting for it to start getting warmer out so I can either turn a quarter of a shade darker or completely burn. Either way I won’t be so pasty.
On another note, I was wondering if you would want to do a guest post sometime soonish. I’ll shoot yah an email.
rebel mel´s last blog ..Okay guys, so I totally won some awards.
I feel like you needed to start a “People of Key West” site to document all the people you saw.
Can’t wait to see the wedding and dress pics!
Tiffany´s last blog ..Start the Jew Jokes Now
Wow, definitely Miami. That chick could fit in in Jersey too!
Nikki´s last blog ..First dance songs, what’s your pick?
i think ou should start a website called stuff white people do!
and i want to go to key west. im so jealous!
Key West looked like a good time, lady! I usually stick my nose in the air about Key West because the time I tried to drive down there a goddamn HURRICANE evacuated my ass before I made it that far. I got as far as Marathon. I could practically see it and bam, GO HOME TOURIST. Damn city will not elude me again. Oh no. All its margaritas will belong to me.
Vegetable Assassin´s last blog ..Not Hugh Grant
I know EXACTLY what you mean about the Irish “tan”. I admire my “tan” whenever I get it and think, oh I’m so dark! Only to realize my “tan” is just normal-not vampire-y skinned people’s “pale”.
::SIGH::
Amanda´s last blog ..When Horoscopes Are Too Accurate
B has an iPad…so sad for him – he can’t play Farmville!
Looks Key West was a blast….
littlemsblogger´s last blog ..Rant and Rave Wednesday
I couldn’t see the iPad picture. His white arms were giving off too much off a glare.
Seems like you had a great time.
Oh crap! Now I want an iPad!
Gnetch´s last blog ..Guys, guess what! I’m in Savannah, Georgia today!
Were they blaming your flight delays on the volcano? Lol, that’s not gonna slide stateside
Kelly´s last blog ..This is What Happens When You’re Honest
Haha! I’m so jealous-It looks like you all had a grand ol’ time
21 can’t come soon enough so I can begin to experience the ‘bar life’ LMAO.
Can’t wait to see the wedding pictures!
Looks like you had a blast. I love the captions on the photos and I am super jealous of B’s iPad. As I love all things Apple.
meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Family Fun Night – The Bowling Edition
That last photo and caption is absolutely hysterical. Definitely belongs on that site. It looks like you had an awesome time in Miami! Way to live it up!
Brandi´s last blog ..A Perfect Combination
Love the shirt. Love the cup. Love that dog.
And, WOAH. Really love the iPad. I would nevereverever bring that to the beach.
Taylor´s last blog ..Me & Him
haha, nice.
and if someone’s going to bring an iPad to the beach, i mean seriously? kinda deserves to be made fun of. because beaches are for tanning. and swimming. not… iPadding. haha.
cari´s last blog ..Protected: dear the ex… (contact for pw)
That shirt kills me! It looks like you really did have the best time. =)
Michelle Pixie´s last blog ..Lumps & Bumps
B-but did you spot the cast of Jersey Shore … since they’re filming in Miami now? (Geography fail on their part, they better not still call it the Jersey Shore).
Anyhoos! It looks like you had an amazing time
Looks like such an oddball place of awesomeness. And I wouldn’t dare make fun of B on the beach with his iPad, I just have a question — does he think it’s worth the moola even though it can’t multitask? /technology nerd
Nikolett´s last blog ..wednesday wishes + shopping sprees
Matt and I just made plans to head to Key West for my 21st birthday in August, so show pics, please! I’m more excited now.
I’m so, so, so, so sorry you got stranded in Miami. Miami is awful, and disgusting. If I still lived in S. Fla (I’m from Ft. Lauderdale) I would’ve taken you all in at my house & driven you to the good airport in Ft. Laud ;D
maddy´s last blog ..Sixth photo.
My boyfriend would definitely be that guy on the beach with his iPad if he actually had an iPad. Right now he just talks about what he will do with his non-existent friend. He and B would get along well
Lindsay´s last blog ..Dead Air
I’m glad you didn’t get killed while you were down in Florida. That state scares me. *shiver*
And you should totally create the Stuff White People Do site. Instant classic.
I kind of want an iPad. But only a little.
Hahahahaha! Deck chair and iPad in hand… what is this world coming to?
The dog? For real?
Karls´s last blog ..10 year flashback!
I live here and I don’t tan. Sun damage? check. Freckles? check. Golden honey sunkissed skin? not so much. Toward August I accumulate enough freckes so that from a distance, or if you squinch your eyes, I kinda look tan.
But I believe from what I saw the one time I ventured south to Key West, it was made for you honey. I bet you pwned in Key West.
Alyxmyself´s last blog ..In with the peach, out with the grey.
if i had a dog i would totally dress it up in that ridiculous get up too, i mean why not?
and as for the ipad at the beach, there is no way i could do that, there would definitely be a sand encounter or water knowing my luck.
katelin´s last blog ..Countdown.
Nothing worse than not being able to get my pecks into the dress I mean hypothetically speaking, I can’t imagine anything worse than I mean I’m glad they fitted in the dress.
Never trust a man with an ipad.
Mo “Mad Dog” Stoneskin´s last blog ..I’ve never seen a badger move so fast
A dog in a pirate costume? = WANT. (Even if he does kind of look like he has the mange).
Herding Cats´s last blog ..UnBELIZEable (and other stories)
Bahaha I love that he took that baybeh on the beach! Probably the only person to ever risk it.
iPad at the beach? Oh hell no.
I still don’t know what an Ipad is. Is it like a big, awkward iPhone? A really skinny book?
…Oh, white, white albino skin. I’m jealous your’s got a tan!!
J´s last blog ..Oh, Those Sheep Have Been COUNTED
i’m sooo jealous.. i wanna go there!
glad you had fun, though btw- that last pic just about doubled me over… loooved it!!!!
32 hour trip to get home? i need to look up your tweet stream to see it all.
Allison´s last blog ..what would sophia do?
I am so glad you enjoyed your “holiday”.
As for “B” and his iPad at the beach, I see it as no different than taking a book and reading….. Maybe I just get it. Cool that he has one, I’m totally envious, but someday…. someday… ;o)
Looks like a fun time, I wish I had a bit of a tan to show off!!
Wait … wait wait wait… It’s supposed to feel BIGGER when drunk? Oh man… *starts feeling sorry for men in her past* That sounded bad didn’t it? Not that there are a lot of men in my past…. wait.. it isn’t like men didn’t WANT me…. I just… I just.. I just think I’ll shut up now.
Jules´s last blog ..Day 27 – Feeling the need to tell a funny story
How fun!!! You so purdy. But I’m glad you’re back, I’m a selfish hoe like that.
Liz´s last blog ..I Am A Domestic Goddess. Or? Look What I Made!
who would even bring a computer on vacation with them…to much to be doing and ralaxing to bring that …glad your back!!! And like everyone else can’t wait to see more pics!
Lol @ the iPad pic. And the dog. Oh god I wanna go to Florida.
Candice´s last blog ..Finally, the Passion Board Unveiled
I really hope you purchased or STOLE that glass. IT BELONGS WITH YOU.
Skinny Dip´s last blog ..Making Sex Make Sense
I would love to be at the beach right now. How fun, Lilu!
andhari´s last blog ..Damn it, Torrance Shipman!
Right now I’m trying to think of a good commentary on society now that we are bringing computers to the beach.
It’s too late at night however.
Dmbosstone´s last blog ..Are You Addicted To Plastic?
Haha, half the comments is about your photos and the other half is about the ipad XD But still, can’t believe he took it to the beach.
Witless Fool´s last blog ..Au Revoir Fictionpress
Lol! I think should visit the Miami, bitch! just to view some clothing xD
I love the tshirt
Raven´s last blog ..The Efficiency Of Back Links From Duplicate Content
Oh! So much fun. Got the kids arguing about where to go on R&R this year. Toss up between a Disney resort or Sanibel Island… I think that says something about Florida beaches… kids put it on the same level with Orlando.
connie´s last blog ..Sunlight and Rainbows
LMAO he cracks me up on the beach with that thing! lol
BigMamaCass´s last blog ..OMFG! Why me? Dear So and So Letters of Intent
Is there a “Stuff White People DO” site? Because this belongs on it. (Yes, that is an iPad… at the beach.)
Why yes, Virgina, there actually IS a “stuff white people do” site. (It’s my site, actually — hope ya like it! and hey, thanks for the post suggestion.)
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