***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!
Steal this button and put it in your post just by copying and pasting the html code in the box below, or just link back to the hub with this link, so your readers can read ALLLLLLL the TMI glory, and I’ll make sure to link to you.***
Now get ready, my darlings, for the ever popular, yet gravely feared, TMI THURSDAYS…
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A couple days ago, am email from a dear friend- who shall remain anonymous- popped up in my inbox with the ever so simple title, “TMI.”
Uh oh.
And, my friends… it did not disappoint.
So a couple of my friends are taking these weight loss/multi vitamin supplements that they absolutely swear by. I’m always skeptical of these things (for obvious reasons), but they talked my ear off for a good 20 minutes till I finally caved and said I’d try them and my friend gave me enough for 3 days.
Then came the warning. The first day you take them, they said, you’d have massive amounts of energy… and at 3PM on the dot, be near a bathroom. Trust us, your stomach will rumble and you will have seconds to get to a bathroom.
Ok, how bad can it be? Considering I’m not the most regular of people, I figured this might actually be a good thing for my digestive system.
The next day I take them in the morning, and lo and behold my appetite is diminished and I have a lot of energy, and as predicted at 3PM my stomach started rumbling. I ran to the bathroom and took one of the most massive and loudest poops of my life. I mean I was in that bathroom for at least 30 minutes.
The second day, I took them again, and again at 3PM big poo, but less… intense.. than the day before.
The next day was a Monday. I was a bit concerned about having to poo at work, but my hall is pretty quiet so I figured there was no fear. At 2:45 my stomach starts to rumble. I was in the middle of something urgent and started to get concerned but I made it to the bathroom. I get there, run to the last stall and, thankfully, I’m alone. You never realize how loud a poop is until you’re in an office bathroom praying no one comes in. I was almost done, and very quiet, when someone came in. She, whoever she was, takes the first stall and immediately starts farting and pooping simultaneously. The noises coming out of this woman (like the noises I was likely making not 2 days before) were worthy of a movie. Like the battleship scene in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle.
I wasn’t finished, but I couldn’t just get up either. That’s when I realized because I’d been so quiet up till then she must’ve thought she was alone.
Then came the stand off.
We were both trying to hold it for several minutes waiting to see what the other would do. Considering I’d been there longer, I had the lead so I quickly finished my business and got up washed my hands and ran out of there as fast as I could without even glancing in her stall’s direction.
So yeah, definitely TMI.
And, once I stopped laughing, my response…
Hahahaha!!!!!!!! Amazing! I had a stand off of my own today, actually, but nothing that drastic.
And I totally won.
But then I realized I was wearing ZEBRA flats, so if she so much as peeked… I’m done for.
Happy TMI Thursday, y’all. Don’t forget to check out my round up on DC Blogs today!
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Other awesomely bad TMIs this week…
That Kind of Girl guest posting on Rebel Mel’s: The Least Hygienic Hook-Up Ever (and how it made me momentarily internet-famous)
imerika’s TMI Thursday: The Night I Broke My Boyfriend’s Penis
Carissa Jade’s TMI Thursday: My P-phone and how I lost it
Stephanie’s TMI Thursday: When Friends Share EVERYTHING!
Sebastian’s Why men pick their nose (an ‘exploratory’ video)
miss*H’s TMI Thursday: The one where my knickers got wet…
LivingWicked’s TMIThursday: Of COURSE You Are Hot.
Spleen’s TMI Thursday: NO frontal nudity! I promise.
Floreta’s How To Eat a Baby Duck Fetus
Adam L’s TMI Thursday: The Joys of Running Part III: The Black Badge of Courage
Wife & Blog’s TMI Thursday: My Monthly Cycles
Travis’ TMI Thursday: Yes I HAVE Almost Broken Both Legs While Masturbating.
Bev’s TMI Thursday: It’s Raining Men
Hey Smalls’ TMI Thursday: VOM
Just Linda’s Give Me ‘Pause (menopause, that is)
Heather’s TMI Thursday: Barf-O-Rama!
Cleveland Poet’s TMI THURSDAY: That’s not a urinal cake
Lisa’s TMI Thursday – Something in the Air
Kate’s TMI Thursday – Occupational Hazards
MJenks’ TMI Thursday: Mid-Morning Wood
Torn’s TMI Thursday
Pat’s TMI Thursday – The “Ins” and “Outs” of an Ultra Sound
The Sassy Seminarian’s TMI Thursday: Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go…tomorrow?
Sharky’s TMI Thursday: I hope my kids are cute.
Vittoria’s TMIT: I’m not pregnant!
confessor69′s TMI Thursday: When You Get the Job In Spite of Your Pee-Suit
Lucy’s TMI Thursday: Family Dinner
Amy’s TMI Thursday: Thongs vs. Panty Line
Cammy’s TMI Thursday: He Pushed my Head Down
Dominick Bonny’s TMI Thursday: Am I racist?
Jeney Peney’s TMI Thursday – Holy Crap
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Hilarious. I always love when I go into my office bathroom and there is an occupied stall, and someone sitting in there VERY QUIETLY, hoping you don’t notice, waiting till you leave so she can finish her business.
Oh the politics of the office bathroom. We all know it, but we so rarely talk about it.
nikki´s last blog .."She scared me something terrible….." or Rabble Starkey
I love that story! The Stall Stand-off – I think we’ve all been there.
I just posted my tale of debauchery too. Have a great day!
Bev
Bev´s last blog ..TMI Thursday: It’s Raining Men
I’m in! My post is about bleeding vaginas, or like we refer to them in this polite society, periods.
http://justlinda.net/blog/?p=547
JustLinda´s last blog ..Dr. Seuss took LSD
Haha, I like this. Glad to see that this type of bathroom etiquette is universal.
Mb´s last blog ..Attention Emily, from Real World DC: Please, wash your hair.
I always like your Thursday posts. They always make me laugh.
Harini´s last blog ..If I Were
So what diet pill is this that makes appointments for shitting?
Stephanie´s last blog ..TMI Thursday: When Friends Share EVERYTHING!
damn that pill is pretty prompt!
Clevelandpoet´s last blog ..We remake the Titanic
When is the post secret thing coming back? I sent ya a good one a few weeks ago.
You have to love when a woman is willing to talk about her BMs.
This is why I am so happy there is a lock on the bathroom door in my office. Peeing? No lock. Otherwise, all of us totally lock it. It’s in everyone’s best interest, really.
Mary´s last blog ..Texas, Our Texas
LMAO
I used to take Dulcolax but during the week-ends only. I simply can’t use the office bathroom for heavy duty! ;p
The Mercurial Wife´s last blog ..Unwanted Guests
I work alone and I have my own bathroom, so that’s pretty awesome. Except for when the doctor is in or the accountant. I’m CONVINCED that they can hear every single thing that goes on in there. CONVINCED.
k8´s last blog ..The Bag Lady
roflmbo.. see I am so hickville I don’t even bother with the stand off.. I am like heck with it we all do it like it or not.. or perhaps it is the fact that I am consistently surrounded by men in various stages of age and maturity which we all know peaks at 16 when it comes to bodily functions..
Without fail, whenever I’m in that situation I realize that my shoes are always distinctive. Every single time.
Liebchen´s last blog ..Burning questions
Hahaha yours is about poop mine is about barf. So great.
Heather´s last blog ..TMI Thursday: Barf-O-Rama!
First off, I’m extremely disappointed she didn’t provide you with more information about said pills.
What if I wanted some? Why do you guys gotta keep that stuff to yourself?
I am extremely regular and I like pooping over in the I.T. departments bathroom, cuz it’s a one man bathroom without ventilation. Then I go to the I.T. guys and tell them that there’s a package from UPS waiting for them in the bathroom and high tail it out of there.
Please share the pill information. I would like to take a 3 p.m pill dump over in the I.T. bathroom to REALLY piss them off.
Thank you.
Mike´s last blog ..Bye Granny
haha! And I had a standoff last week… I hope the above email wasn’t from a coworker who happens to be a friend of yours? gulp! (lol!!)
spleeness´s last blog ..wordless Wednesday
I love that poop-related TMIs never get old. NEVER.
Hannah´s last blog ..Give a lady a little (leg) room.
Ohhhh, I loooove your TMI Thursdays! One of my favorite parts of your blog!!
Zebra flats sound so cute! But during a standoff an inconspicuous pair of shoes is always best for sure.
Glad you won though! I never doubted!
xoxo
Kellie´s last blog ..Tying it all together: Sex, Dress & MS
Oh gosh, I dread the day when I have to have a public washroom standoff in an office LOL. My summer school job had a single private bathroom, which was nice. But I have some sort of phobia of doing any sort of #2 in public, it’s terrible for me. So your gal (and you, with your fancy zebra flats) are very brave
Nikolett´s last blog ..cheese, anyone?
Hahah, thats awesomely funny! I def LMFAOed. =)
Nickie´s last blog ..The Weather Channel is Evil and 25 Things About Me.
If you are going to wear zebra flats you totally have to try to do your business at home before work! Dead give away on the standoff!
I’ve had those standoffs in many-a-bathroom in my day. Work bathrooms are the worst.
Kim´s last blog ..What Really Grinds Your Gears?
This is why I am so, so, so, so glad I work by myself. I can pooh, fart, and generally wallow in my own filth. It makes me so happy.
Stacie´s last blog ..WTF Wednesday: Reality Bites
I’m glad that we have such a small office that there is only a single person bathroom.
still doesn’t stop me from coming out and explaining how I think I birthed a small child from my ass.
Gosh, I’m such a professional!
Lauren´s last blog ..Facebook Awkwardness…
This blog hosts too many poop related converstations! LOL!
Heather´s last blog ..Thank you for 1 thing
Awww the “shit stand-off” Always a legendary scary moment. It happens quite often in my office bathroom. ANd I also always win.
Carissajade´s last blog ..And in the end… it was the beginning
I relish the days when I was one of the only girls in the office, and we worked on an empty floor. The freedom to poo in private is a wonderful thing.
Nikki´s last blog ..Chelsi and Zach’s wedding
Oh my, I think everyone has had a little standoff in the bathroom at one time or another. When nature calls it calls!!
Katy Mary´s last blog ..Because You Asked
Isn’t pooping awesome?
Kris´s last blog ..Politics aside….
Ugh…I hate pooping at work. Even more, I hate the fact that my desk is sandwiched by two public toilets that happen to be enclosed by very un-sound proof doors and walls. I hear poo symphonies all day long (not to mention that they’re always a linger oder of fart around my desk).
I have one for you today:
http://kate-growthspurt.blogspot.com/2010/03/tmi-thursday-occupational-hazards.html
kate´s last blog ..TMI Thursday – Occupational Hazards
That’s hilarious, and I’ve toet tally had those moments. There was one time where I was having a stand off, and we were both giggling because it was just so funny, yet awkward. Also, those pills sound not so good….are we sure they are healthy?
i am laughing SOOOOOOO hard because i’ve SOOOO been there before!
Randi´s last blog ..New Cosmetic Queen
HA just posted mine as well… Great story!!!!!
http://lovelorn-n-torn.blogspot.com/2010/03/tmi-thursday.html
Torn´s last blog ..TMI Thursday
confession: i just googled “diet pill that makes you poop at 3pm”, and sadly, got no solid answer.
I always pray for fast and quiet poops when in public. AAAHHH.
Margarita´s last blog ..New Beginnings, Strangers & the Time We Watched a Hockey Game
Thankfully at my work we have a unisex one toilet bathroom where one can let loose. I can’t imagine doing it in the lobby bathroom with stalls because there are only two other women that work there so we’d know who it was.
Toe´s last blog ..I’m Alive, Kinda
I want this pill for this very reason. I will shit my pants to be skinny.
Elizabeth Marie´s last blog ..Great Expectations.
There was a standoff of who could NOT poop?
I don’t understand you women.
Two guys in this situation would all be like dueling banjos but instead of banjos dueling it’s, you know, shit.
moooooog35´s last blog ..The Handicapable Asshole
You and I may or may not have the same life, bathroom standoffs, zebra flats and all.
LNRB´s last blog ..TMI Thursday: My Monthly Cycles
LOL I love this. THANK YOU for sharing. I hate standoffs!! We have an office of about 40 women and TWO bathroom stalls so there is always high risk of someone else coming in RIGHT after you park your bum down. And then sitting silently in the next stall until you go. Once I got (literally) called out on it, because of my giveaway boots – “Emily is that you? I’m giving you a warning, you might not want to be here after the next ten seconds” and I promptly pulled up my pants and left lol. I’m a CHICKEN in standoffs!! I blame it on being British. Nobody poops in Britain.
Emily Jane´s last blog ..Protected: My Real Self Portrait
That is the most uncomfortable situation. But, it’s really rather silly. I mean that is what bathrooms are for. What’s our problem?
The story is good, but then at the peak… in the end… nothing happens. I wish something would blow up in the end… well, you can’t have everything in life, can you? Hehe..
My Kafkaesque Life´s last blog ..Presidential office building of Taiwan, Taipei
Ah yeah, the stand off. I’ve been there.
Given my pee-shyness I don’t like it…
Paula´s last blog ..HOW *NOT* TO BE A GOOD PEDESTRIAN . . .
damnit, i wanted to do this today and then I realized fuck- I’m always TMI. Arg……or maybe I just need to do crazier shit more often. hm?
Chelsea Talks Smack´s last blog ..I can sleep when I’m dead…or during that "really important" conference call.
Gah, I love that ALL women seem to do this. We all poop, yet we don’t want people to know it was us who did the pooping… Hahaha.
MinD´s last blog ..413 Harris Street, MoTown.
yeah, um, I learned the ‘hard way’ about those diet supplements having an impressive impact on one’s digestive system. Thankfully I was NOT in an office restroom stall!
Hey, at least your anonymous friend WON the stand off by leaving first!
meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..My Favorite Blog Post(s) And My Favorite Photo(s)
HAHA, I harldy ever lose a standoff.
Im stubborn like that
Matt´s last blog ..You can’t handle the truth
Glad to say I’ve never had a stand off like that before. That’s just…
For once, I’m stumped. I can’t even find the words.
Oh wow, that is hilarious! A poop stand-off!
My TMI Thursday Post: http://www.alulai.com/blog/2010/03/tmi-thursday-he-pushed-my-head-down/
Cammy´s last blog ..TMI Thursday: He Pushed my Head Down
HAHAHAHAHA! Oh man, I’m so glad I read this AFTER I got done eating my lunch. =p
To the victor goes the spoils
. Laughed out loud at this one. We’ve all been there and done (or not done) that!
City Girl´s last blog ..Just Call Me Carrie
Ohemgee! I’ve never had a stand-off. Thank goodness for that!
I am absolutely mortified of ever having to use the restrooms at any public place, let alone at work, when I have to poop. Mostly it’s because I’m the only one who wears heels or recognizable shoes at work.
The shoes are always the dead give away, you have to lift your feet on those occasions!
Lucy´s last blog ..TMI Thursday: Family Dinner
we used to have a “sitter” in our office. you would go in, she would sit quietly, and you would have to do your thing quickly–or it just becomes weird. so finally, one day i decided to “out sit the sitter”. it was hilarious. i took my phone and just sat there…for about 8 minutes. thats a long time when its not necessary. anyway, i won! i outsat the sitter. it was a good day. total victory! i feel ya on that one!
allison´s last blog ..Friday Night Lights…Camera…Action!
Bathroom humor sometimes makes me semi-vomitus, but this was funny! Never take those kind of pills! You just know it will happen to you.
Weekend Cowgirl´s last blog ..Remembering Tony
Hey there! We are launching a new site, and wanted to add your TMI Thursdays to our list of weekly memes. You can take a look at the listing here– let me know if you’d rather we didn’t include you (but I hope it’s ok with you!).
http://www.ourmommyhood.com/social-calendar/memes/
~Elizabeth @ Our Mommyhood
LMFAO! Nice. I am guessing this is the “alli” I have been hearing so many poop stories about recently. LOL
BigMamaCass´s last blog ..Some rotten news and some yelling Random TT
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