I just deleted an incredibly long play-by-play account of how perfectly miserable this past Saturday’s ShamrockFest was*.
And it was, don’t get me wrong. It was raining steadily and nastily the entire time; the parking lot was a mix of mudslides and six inch puddles; my guest Flippy and I waited in line after line to get in; they sent us the wrong way (not “VIP”) and we had to walk all the way back to the front to get our “VIP” glasses twenty minutes later, at which point they did not see fit to give us the bracelets meant to go along with them; the festival opened at noon but “VIPs” were forced to wait outside of the “VIP” area until 1pm- an hour in the rain with free beer that (well, not us but other people) have PAID for is a fate worse than death; when the “VIP” crowd literally rioted to be let in at 1, the power-hungry gate attendants made them wait until 1:05 and we were scared for our lives; there were more staff than patrons there yet they openly admitted they had had no training and couldn’t give us any information about what was going on; the entire event was so poorly disorganized it was laughable; “VIPs” weren’t allowed to bring their beer outside of the “VIP” area to where the bands were playing; we admitted defeat just moments after they finally opened the “VIP” gate and we realized we needed the bracelets we hadn’t been given with our cups. The idea of walking back to the gate a second time was laughable after already having done it once and standing in the rain for an hour waiting for a free beer.
(“VIP” is in quotes because I don’t believe anyone there was not “VIP”. Sort of defeats the purpose, no?)
We watched as the crowd rushed in and decided A) the lines for the free watery beer would be ridiculous by the time we got back, and B) we were too old for this shit.
So Flippy and I, in our neon lime-green legwarmers and aqua leggings, (respectively,) laughed our ass out of that place so fast we didn’t even get to see LMFAO sing “Shots.”
We swam through the mud puddles passed the line of unfortunate souls waiting to get in- literally, my shoes are now brown- and hailed the first cab we could find to take us to a warm bar where the booze flowed (and our fingers weren’t so frozen we couldn’t even Tweet the anguish).
So, if you ask me how ShamrockFest was, I will probably laugh. And I will tell you that as long as you never step foot in the park itself… as long as you head straight to a cozy bar with a good friend and stool up to a pitcher of beer and some garlic fries and spend the next four hours laughing and bonding and planning road trips and making fun of small children…
You’ll probably have a grand old time.
I did.
*Yes, my tickets were totally courtesy of a PR company. Otherwise I never, ever, EVER would have gone. Lesson learned.
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Your text came in just as we were shifting on the couch, like, “Is it worth it?” Sounds like you saved us some misery.
We probably all would have had a better time if we just went at 5 to see the Roots and then left. Sigh.
.-= brad´s last blog ..a Toys R Us kid and his briefcase =-.
Oh, Lord. it was raining. That sounds pretty awful…especially for light beer.
That’s assuming we would even be able to get any. I’m sure the lines were ridiculous.
Some of the best things in life AREN’T free….sorry you had such a shitty shamrock time!
At least the shitty part was only an hour. THEN we had a blast.
.-= Lil’ Woman´s last blog ..The Grinch Who Stole Christmas : ( =-.
Our St. Patty’s day stuff is pretty cool – they set up massive tents in the parking lot outside one of the Irish bars like, a week before the actual event. And it leads right to the bars, so if it’s too cold, you can just go inside. Two St. Patty’s days ago, I went to pee and someone had broke the seat so I sat down and it slid out from under me and hit the wall. Awesome.
Basically, you should just come visit me.
I’m headed to Savannah this weekend… I have a feeling that will MORE than make up for this.
.-= Just A Girl´s last blog ..Random topic generator is random =-.
What a total bummer! I would have left too
It was ludicrous. Truly.
.-= Katy Mary´s last blog ..What The Fug?! =-.
The guy who sits behind me went to Shamrockfest. He had a miserable time. He says he’s not going next year … but that’s what he said LAST year.
I may go if the tickets are free AND THE SUN IS SHINING. But I doubt I’ll get another offer after this review.
I was actually lamenting that I missed Shamrock Fest this year, St. P’s Day is my favorite holiday and I can’t go to Kegs and Eggs this year either (stupid work) but my the sound of it, it Shamrock was indeed ShamrockFlop so this makes me feel a little better. I probably would have felt it was a waste of my meager paycheck.
That’s okay though. By this time next year I will be celebrating Dia de St. Patrick’s in the Holy Land, aka Dublin.
Trust me, my dear. You didn’t miss a thing.
.-= T. The Destructor´s last blog ..A much needed letter to myself =-.
You couldn’t have paid me to go to that thing…okay I guess you COULD have paid me and I would have gone but I wouldn’t have been happy.
I was pissed that I paid $2 in metro fare to GET there.
.-= Shannon´s last blog ..Putting a Ring on It =-.
WE NEED OUR RELIGION!!!
thank god for gordon biersch. i had a lovely time once we were warm (and rightfully buzzed).
Thank God for YOU and your delightful company. xo
.-= flipflopsintherain´s last blog ..because you’re worth it =-.
Yah we have mudfest here and my diehard bestie goes every year…I think the trick is to already be drunk when you arrive. I don’t drink much soooo…hey wait, you still dig me right?
It’s not my fault, I have poor genetics for an irish girl.
How’s the workouts comming? I will admit to the medicinal use of vodka after a particularly brutal workout. Very effective.
We are one week into the workouts, and honestly, I feel AMAZING. Gonna try to keep it up!!
.-= Alyxmyself´s last blog ..Pretty pretty pictures part II =-.
This is why I just don’t celebrate St. Paddy’s Day.
Well THAT ain’t right. As an Irish gal, I am appalled. You just have to do it right!
.-= SilverNeurotic´s last blog ..Falling =-.
Was the beer at least green? Sheesh.
I have no idea, because we DIDN’T EVEN SEE IT. That’s how bad it was.
Oh, that’s right. DA’s didn’t give you the wrist bands. Lame!
Super.
Oooo, yikes. Sounds pretty terrible. I went to three Shamrocks back in the day and always had a kick ass time. But, by the third, my friends and I quickly realized that the whole VIP thing was a total scam. It was actually cheaper to just buy the regular ticket and beers throughout the day. Kind of sucks you didn’t get to see the bands, though!
I was really bummed I couldn’t make it down…but, eh, after reading this post, I’m thinking it’s good I saved those air miles…
It is good. Though we would have had twice as much fun at the bar if you’d been there.
.-= Hannah´s last blog ..In which I defend [creative] benders. =-.
I’m pretty sure I missed the rainy, miserable St. Patty’s Day parade downtown on Saturday AM. Because seriously – cold and wet and not drinking? Not fun.
I never knew how important the “warm and dry” part of a drinking day truly was.
.-= k8´s last blog ..Smelling Spring =-.
That kind of reminds me of BeerFest (a festival in TO), but only because of the rain that happened to pour down every year on us there. Seriously, it was THAT disorganized. SUCKY.
The lack of organization was truly baffling, like they really must have WORKED to make all their staff that clueless. Brainwashed them from learning ANYTHING, or something.
I went last year and it rained endlessly as well which was the number one reason I didn’t even plan on going this year, I just had a feeling. Beer was overly priced as well as the food. We probably stayed 2 hours, (we pregamed at like 10am that morning with Irish Car Bombs haha) and then left because we were already drunk and didn’t want to be in the rain anymore. I was in flats. I was obviously fucking stupid for that one. I did get to witness someone so plastered that they literally could not stand on their own. It was hilarious. I don’t remember waiting that long though… but I wasn’t VIP.
Apparently that would’ve been the way to go. Who knew? And A+ on the Car Bombs!
.-= Heather´s last blog ..Endless Possibilities =-.
Aww, I’m sorry the festival sucked but at least you guys rescued the day! We had gorgeous sunshine and a great parade and block party! It pays to be in the South I guess.
Well, as far as weather, yes.
.-= Mary´s last blog ..Weekend Recap =-.
I went last year. HOEEIBLE. Never again.
Never ever ever ever.
.-= JerzeyGrrl´s last blog ..My birthday dinner – Osteria Bibiana =-.
Dang … sorry it was such a crappy time. I’ve never been to a beerfest but based on what my sister’s told me, it’s ‘goodness’ usually depends on the weather and organization. This just sounds rough … but I hope you had a good ol’ time after you left
.-= Nikolett´s last blog ..looking forward to looking back. =-.
How disappointing! Situation # 2 sounds much more my speed as well. I’m not into chaotic amounts of people in unorganized situations.
Makes me glad I felt like I was too old to even contemplate the whole thing in the first place.
.-= Lemon Gloria´s last blog ..Friday dollop of the Big J =-.
at least there was eventual making fun of children.
Bummer. At least you didn’t have to pay.
I, very very briefly, considered going with some friends, but in the end decided against it. Thanks for validating me. (Also, those garlic fries are fantastic – I’m totally craving them now.)
.-= Liebchen´s last blog ..Why don’t you need a license to ride a bicycle? =-.
What a disappointment! Well, at least you didn’t let it ruin your day and found a nice bar w/ accessible beer and garlic fries. Garlic fries… Yum. I need to find a place around here that has those.
Now I’m ready for lunch.
xoxo
.-= Kellie´s last blog ..Quick Weekend Recap =-.
I say all you need for a good “fest” is good friends and good brew…and you can experience that in the comfort of your own fabulous pad!
.-= Kristin´s last blog ..Spring is almost here…bring on the color! =-.
Sorry the fest sucked – but sounds like you salvaged it. I could go for some garlic fries and beer right now.
.-= OG´s last blog ..Polar Bear Vs. T-Rex in a Battle Royale =-.
Isn’t this the 2nd year in a row it rained during Shamrock Fest? It always sounded like something over-hyped to me- I’ve never been into the music festivals.
.-= Dmbosstone´s last blog ..Don’t Let The Terrorists Win (Why I’m Still Using Foursquare) =-.
i went a few years ago on a gorgeous, sunny, warm day. and it STILL SUCKED. thank goodness we’d done a power hour before going, because lord knows it’s impossible to get drunk AT the fucking thing.
.-= Alice´s last blog ..i VERY MUCH hope that all searches for "baby oil slip n’ slide" now direct the internet to my blog =-.
I had a decent time…
however don’t feel bad bc LMFAO DID NOT EVEN SHOW UP
train on the other hand was good
Lucky you. I was up all night holding my kid while he barfed up his lower intestines.
.-= Kris´s last blog ..Up The Hoop… =-.
We dont celebrate it in India so I kinda have no clue. My friends who live in US seemed to have a much much better time than you
.
.-= harini´s last blog ..IPL has started… Now my blog will overflow with Cricket! =-.
A – thanks for taking the hit so we didn’t have to feel it. Think of yourself like a TV Critic who had to watch three episodes of “Minute to Win It” before ripping it to shreds in the paper.
B – the list of “shit you’re to old for” only gets longer my dear.
.-= restaurant refugee´s last blog ..Front, Back, Side to Side… and Don’t Forget to Dodge the Divide =-.
FYI, never ever go to anything that ends in ‘fest.’
Unless it’s ‘LobsterFest’ or ‘LipstickLesbianFest’ or OMG OMG “Lipstick Lesbian Lobster Fest’ would be the absolute GREATEST FEST EVER.
Those are the ONLY exceptions.
.-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Wrapping up the Week – March 14, 2010 =-.
So you went through all that to celebrate St. Patty’s on a day that is not even St. Patty’s? I’m buying everyone calendars and teaching them how to read them because St. Patty’s is on Thursday.
Um obviously I’m an idiot and I need to buy myself a calendar and learn to read it because St. Patty’s is on Wednesday.
.-= lbluca77´s last blog ..I can be a girl….dammit =-.
I do not wait out in the rain. Ever. Period.
I’m just a diva like that.
.-= J´s last blog ..Freaking =-.
Hahaha, so funny…I was going to do the Erin Express this weekend, which is Philly’s big drinking bus to all the Irish bars, but the rain was literally so bad I didn’t get out of bed. I am lame.
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..Confessions Of A Hopeless Romantic =-.
You say that after this review they wouldn’t ask you again next year but they might out of retribution or, ya know, to prove that it CAN be non-craptastic.
Glad you were able to salvage the day and have fun!
.-= MsDarkstar´s last blog ..Non-Coffeehouse Sunday Stealing =-.
I have to tell you, your posts always make me laugh! I love when one pops up because I know Im gonna laugh and I wait anxiously each week for TMI Thursday! So thank you for your funny witty posts that always make my day! (Even on a Monday after “Spring Forward” DLST)
.-= Katy´s last blog ..The Red Dress =-.
Hard to believe they could eff up an Irish event that’s all about the drinking. That should just be criminal.
I’m hoping for a similar experience this Saturday!
*sigh* Now I am jealous of you again. This blows
.-= BigMamaCass´s last blog ..“Bundled Up” I Heart Faces Photo Challenge =-.
WAY too old for that. Unless I show up drunk.
.-= Nikki´s last blog ..Doppelganger =-.
Yuck! Festivals in the rain can be fun, but you have to hit that sweet spot just right. Sounds like this one was a big ol’ FAIL.
.-= Hope´s last blog ..Engaged! =-.
Oh darlin….that sucks that the event was such a bust but at least you had some bonding time with flippy!
.-= Tee aka The Diva’s Thoughts´s last blog ..Dating Agreements =-.
shamrock fest? now this sounds fun. were there lepracauns? leprechauns? i duno how to spell it.
garlic fries? I hate you.
shamrock fest sounds like it would be awesome.
too bad it sucked big time! i would have peaced out
as well. how bogus. i’m too old for all that crap, anymore.
.-= amanda´s last blog ..knocked up. =-.
LEGWARMERS??
Why do I not get pictures of this stuff? fix it.
I’m sorry it wasn’t fun. DONT THEY KNOW WHO YOU ARE? SRSLY.
.-= Elizabeth Marie´s last blog ..Spring Forward. =-.
Wow, the sad thing is I really had wanted to go. Now I am thankful that I didn’t. Way to treat your VIP’s huh?
Do you go to DC 101 Chili Cook-off?
.-= Kayla´s last blog ..I hope your cunt catches fire. =-.
Haha our Shamrock the Block was the same way…we got to the Irish Pub and were like, “Umm yeah, we are too sober for this.”
I’m sorry you had a lousy time.
Way to make lemonade out of lemons. Or good beer out of watery beer. Same same.
Well, at least you and Flippy had a GREAT time drinking beer and eating garlic fries in a cozy bar!
.-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Doing Things Differently™ – My Week In Review [Part Six] =-.
You didn’t have your own hip flasks of Jameson to sip on while waiting in line? What kinds of Irish alcoholics are you?
.-= eric´s last blog ..When Gravity and Marble Don’t Mix (Quando la Gravità e Marmi Fatto Problemi) =-.
I have no patience for things like that. At least you managed to have a good time.
.-= Barbara´s last blog ..I Hope Your Sunday was Better than Mine =-.
I’m pretty sure I would have celebrated the same way you did. Boo to bad weather and people who were too disorganized.
I hate having those epiphanies where you realize you’re too old for this. I had one at Preakness once.
mmmm garlic fries. yes please!
i’m hosting an event at my blog and i hope you’ll join in: livinwide.com/blogiton
Yeah… I would have probably been right there with you, going “Good God, I’m miserable. Waaaaah.” Til you wanted to punch me in the throat.
This was the first year I didn’t take part in the St. Patty’s Day celebrations since, like, forever. Although, since I still don’t have a job I may just go get plastered in a dive bar on the REAL St. Pat’s Day.
.-= BeckEye´s last blog .. =-.
We learned that lesson last year after I froze to death and became sober all for Flogging Molly (which was worth it). That was when I was like, “Oh, shit. I’m 24. I am TOO OLD… peace.” And then I found out that if I really have to, I can hold my bladder for two hours on the Metro. While whimpering the entire time. God, I’m a wuss, and college me hates real me.
.-= Liz´s last blog ..Friday Fives: Mini Foodie Reviews (or: Where to eat in Alexandria) =-.
Ugh they stinks! Rain never equals a good time (mostly). Unless mud fights are involved. =)
.-= Nickie´s last blog ..SO Busy! =-.
wow. that is SO lame. i can’t even handle it. i’d be annoyed as well. stupid power hungry staff people.
.-= cari´s last blog ..running and driving and other such moving things… =-.
No SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS???
You make me sad.
.-= Maxie´s last blog ..boston: i wanna be on you. =-.
i am sure the rain made it extra miserable….
but i think there just comes a certain point where you really ARE to old to be at something like that…
my last festival was WAY back in 1998 (Tibetan Freedom Concert) and I was over it then… and haven’t been to another once since
Slainte!
.-= michelle´s last blog ..Slainte! =-.
Sounds terrible! Glad you got out of there!
.-= Wonderful´s last blog ..I’m Irish… =-.
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