So, you know how sometimes people post gchats, and you skim it politely but the whole time you’re really thinking, “This is just not funny. This *might* be funny if I really knew them, or even if they were strangers but I was at least THERE.”
Well, knowing all that, and being the kind of person who generally agrees what the above sentiment, I give you THIS.
It is a risk, but if you have absolutely any knowledge of the TV show “24″… I think you’ll find it at least half as funny as I did. (And if you don’t, this is going to be one crazy ass journey for you.)
WORTH IT.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Berto: I’m always torn about 24.
The first 6 hours are absurd yet awesome.me: right, it’s fun
Berto: And then it’s like the writers were so proud of the ridiculousness of the first 6 hours that they forgot they had a whole 18 other hours to write
And then I’m pretty sure they get high and make shit upme: SO TRUE
Berto: “now let’s throw in a mountain lion and give the wife amnesia”
me: i bet they have a hat!
Berto: ohh… the crazy idea hat.
me: and they mad lib their way to the story line
Berto: “and then the ___ showed up and said “I am your ___” and then ___ Jack’s daughter.”
me: right exactly. like “kidnapped”
“eloped with”Berto: “ninja”
me: “roundhouse kicked to the face chuck norris* style”
Berto: “threw a pig** in her direction”
me: “injected her with a toxin that made her half bird, but then she flew too close to the sun”
Berto: “sang a song with the villain”
me: “turned out to BE the villain”
Berto: “hung out with Icarus***”
Icarus is the spy!me: can he be russian
Berto: Yeah, he’s from the Ukraine and heads the Romanian mafia. (his middle name is Piotr)
me: and he runs a brothel… OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE
it’s called “The EAST Wing”
twss.Berto: we need to insert a musical number involving NPH****
me: haaaaaaaaaaaaave you met Tony Almeida?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Berto’s blog.
Berto’s Twitter.
*No offense to Chuck Norris.
**No offense to pigs.
***No offense to Greek Mythology.
****DEFINITELY no offense to our lord and savior, NPH.*****
*****Don’t you hate when someone just says “no offense” and hopes that you’ll ignore the clearly offensive thing they just said?******
******Me either. That shit’s hilarious.
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a half-bird that flew too close to the sun.
only you, my friend. only you. love it.
and thanks for making an ACTUALLY FUNNY gchat post!
And then I tried to chat you and then you WEREN’T ON GCHAT BECAUSE YOUR WORK BLOCKED IT and I cried.
cavy´s last blog ..that time i didn’t remember anything, sans alcohol
best line from Harry Potter:
Uncle Vernon: “I don’t mean to be rude–”
Dumbledore: “Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often. Best to say nothing at all, my dear man.””
A wise, wise
wizardman.JP´s last blog ..Post 48
TheRichAnt Reply:
February 3rd, 2010 at 6:09 am
They mean to be offensive and rude thats just there way of not owning up to it. The whole disclaimer is some bullshish. I tell folks all the time say what you mean and mean what you say and be a grown up and own it.
Oops.
lol, a successful gchat?!! i never thought i’d see the day! my favorite part? “and he runs a brothel… out of the WHITE HOUSE.”
You never know. It could happen.
sarah´s last blog ..an open letter
Next time, I want in on the Jack Bauer/GChat love.
Just sayin.
Also, I bet the granddaughter will be the next ninja spy. You just watch.
Kids are wily like that.
PQ´s last blog ..Awkward.
Oh, I hate that 12Minds kid. We have nothing in common. Nothing at all.
Not a thing…
Suburban Sweetheart´s last blog ..The Rare Bulleted-List Blog Post
You have a Berto too? I have a Berto. He’s awesome. Berto’s are generally awesome.
And for some reason I am giggling at my desk thinking about 24 musicals now and resisting the urge not to go listen to the Buffy musical again. TV shows with singing is generally awesome (with the exception of Disney).
There is a Buffy musical?? I’ve never even seen the show, but I kind of feel like I must get that musical into my life…
Tiffani Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 3:29 pm
OMG Liz…I woke up singing a bit from the Buffy Musical…
that.is.scary.
Tiffani´s last blog ..Tiff’s Kitchen: Perfect Vanilla Bean Cake
Berto Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 4:58 pm
Buffy the Musical is awesome. “I’ve got a feeling, that it’s a demon…”
Of COURSE you’ve seen it.
Wait… I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.
Now if only they could find a way to make Chloe attractive..even, like, a LITTLE..you’d be onto something.
moooooog35´s last blog ..Infiltrating the Texas Roadhouse Secret Society
I totally agree…the writes are sooo smoking crack when they come up with that stuff.
“his middle name is piotr…” LOL that’s hilarious
Yeah. That was definitely the point when I snarfed out loud and my entire office looked at me.
Dual Mom´s last blog ..Gratitude With Attitude – Come Join the Fun
I like this. I like it a LOT.
You and me both.
Kris´s last blog ..The Shiz My Kids Say….
As a 24 (and HIMYM!) fan I Luvit! Ahem. No offense
NONE TAKEN. Ha!
Stephen K´s last blog ..My First Guest Blogging Post!
Okay. I don’t watch tv, but the idea that Icarus is a spy is intriguing.
Maybe he was in the Roman version. THINK ABOUT THAT.
k8´s last blog ..Cheese! Glorious Cheese!
What if the cast of HIMYM joined in on 24 and Barnie was rollin with Jack? and his tie was like a weapon?
As long as there’s no Ted involved. He way too much of a pussy to withstand the rigors of 24.
zipcode´s last blog ..Magazines, I think I am too old for some now – Yikes
but, i’ve never watched 24 before…
Then that title was for you, my love.
alexa – cleveland’s a plum´s last blog ..dove visibly smooth cleveland VIP party
HAHAHAHAHA oh my gosh, I’m holding my mouth at work so I don’t laugh as loudly as I want to!
It’s not good to hold it in.
Twss.
Becky´s last blog ..Cozy
i’ve been a fan of 24 forever. and i just had the same convo with my BF last night…like around hour 7 its going to be boring, phone call, status updates…but by all means your gchat was way more entertaining then my convo.
i hope tony comes back. last season he had the sexy whisper voice. yum.
PS. i’ll be in DC for the 1/2 marathon!
Crap, is that March 20th? I will be partying it up at my girl’s Bachelorette in Savannah, unfortch.
Lara´s last blog ..Ay Bay Bay!
Oh Jack, you crazy bastard.
This made me cry a bit.
…In a good way?
Kendall´s last blog ..The One Where He Talks About Birthday Apathy, Feeling Like A Kid, And Happier Things Down The Pipe
I’ve never really watched 24, but my boyfriend loves it. I had him read this and he thought it was the funniest thing ever. Thanks for making him laugh!
Yeah, that is totally important for getting this… at least one of you laughed!
Lindsay´s last blog ..Spin Cycle
I love 24!
and Berto is cool too.
I would reverse those. But sure.
Dmbosstone´s last blog ..The Big Game XLIV Prop Bet Challenge
I don’t watch 24 b/c I find it ridiculous. My fiance was pissed when he realized he missed the first 4 hours this season so I was like “I’ll catch you up, Jack saves the world, the end” I just saved him from having to watch the whole season.
It IS ridiculous, but TV has been majorly lacking this year. We did officially give up on it this week. It’s just too much.
Shannon´s last blog ..Finished!
haha! This is how I make most of my decisions in life. Just madlib it out of a hat, I always say.
Oh, I concur 100%.
miss. chief´s last blog ..doppelganger week on facebook
I think I’ll enjoy the last 18 hours a lot more now that you’ve posted this.
Especially because Jack isn’t getting nearly enough screen time as he should this season. Chloe’s attitude is the only thing getting me through right now.
I can’t even watch her because she will now and forever be GAIL THE SNAIL to me!!!!!!!!
Jeney´s last blog ..Letters to My Morning
Did you see HIMYM last night? Hilarious (and it came with Yankees…mmm). I agree with your comment above – Ted is a total puss.
I’m actually only through Season 3. Glad to know Ted stays constant, at least.
kate´s last blog ..Memoir Monday – ‘Tis the Season.
actually this is brilliant… and i’m still laughing over it!
Love.
Randi´s last blog ..Some Favorites
It’s not everyone that can work Greek mythology so seamlessly into a gchat. Well done.
Also, you could probably pitch these ideas to the writers. The half-bird toxin is pure gold.
The only question is, would it be a European swallow or an African swallow?
Liebchen´s last blog ..All I can think of is Pauly Shore
LOL!!! OMG I sometimes wish my gchats were as interesting as this. LOL
Berto… he’s a keeper, that one.
Margarita´s last blog ..The Lazy Housewife’s Guide to Keeping House
That was actually really funny…thanks.
You sound so surprised…
shandi´s last blog ..Frida Gustavsson: Numero #110, Febuary 2010
“Piotr” is on its way to being some kind of classic.
TRUTH.
nashe´s last blog ..Fun Fatigue.
Amazing.
And so true about 24. Remember that one season there was a black president? C’mon – at least make it believable!
SERIOUSLY. Either that, or label it sci-fi.
Narm´s last blog ..Aw, Crap
I never started watching 24 because my mother warned me that it’s “crack TV.” It’s awful but you can’t stop watching.
That’s right, my parents are cooler than me.
Whoa, whoa whoa. Let’s not jump to conclusions. Crazy ones, at that.
Mary´s last blog ..You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out Kid
If I had any connections at all I’d get you two a spot on the writing team on 30 Rock. I think you’d fit in well.
This comment led to an entirely new chat about which one of us would have to bone who on the show to get on there.
So, thanks for that.
Nikki´s last blog ..All dressed up with no place to go
I haven’t watched 24 in years, and that’s funny to me. I only wish I could die and save the world all in one day just ONCE.
It’s such a little thing, really… Chuck Norris would know.
justrun´s last blog ..The Tale of the Most Serendipitous Trip Yet
I still need to get gchat. How does one do that if she is totally unsaavy w/ the internets and computers?
I don’t watch 24 but I love offensive shit so I still liked this.
xoxo
I’m pretty sure I’ve yelled at you for nothing being on gchat before. We would talk ALL DAY. All you need is a FREE gmail, woman!
Kellie´s last blog ..Weekly Want-it’s!
Kellie Reply:
February 3rd, 2010 at 10:56 am
I did it. I signed up for Gmail. But it doesn’t look like my work computer is going to let me chat…
It just keeps saying loading. HELP!
Try http://igoogle.com! I believe in you!
Kellie´s last blog ..Weekly Want-it’s!
Never watched it, but that conversation is still hilarious. I do kind of heart Kiefer Sutherland, though. Something to do with Lost Boys, Cowboy Way and Flat Liners.
A-freaking-MEN.
I wouldn’t worry hon, Chuck Norris doesn’t take offence, he just gives it.
ZING!!! You got me. And I loved it.
Mo´s last blog ..Warlords
Let’s spice things up and have them merge 24 with Fringe.
Don’t you mess with my Fringe. It is perfect in every way. Now go get Walter some frozen yogurt.
Mike´s last blog ..1052 – As the years go by
Oh if only I could wrap NPH in tinfoil, bake him mercilessly, then spread him on a crispy baguette. He is THAT yummers.
You know it’d be high in sugar, though. Cause his pick up lines are so SAH-WEEEEEET!!!
(Don’t worry, everyone. I just punched myself in the eye for that.)
Elly Lou´s last blog ..Drivin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo
The EAST wing. That’s awesome.
Actually, I just realized… it should probably be the EATS Wing.
hahahahahahaha
Adrienzgirl´s last blog ..Thank You Note Tuesday
Does PETA know you’re throwing pigs? Can you tell I don’t watch 24. I was watching either The Bachelor or Tough Love – ya know, quality tv.
B puts his foot down about the Bachelor, but I sneak a Tough Love in every now and then. SO
BADGOOD.littlemsblogger´s last blog ..Another Hot Date Suggestion from Hubby….
I <3 NPH. He should be EVERYWHERE.
No movies should be made without a NPH cameo… EVER.
SillyJaime´s last blog ..HATE!
That is HILARIOUS. I know nothing about 24, I only saw a little skit Coco did on “Late Night” a few years ago that was “60 second” I thought THAT was funy…but this is hilarious.
I feel that way about certain shows…they have all the coolest parts in the first 1/2 of the show, and then just the writers get drunk and start saying things like, “hey, what if we threw in a midget wearing the phantom of the opera mask?”
Very entertaining, and it made me feel guilty, I’ve been neglecting my blog…it IS finals week though. I have an excuse.
And, I didn’t eat anything this time, I wised up. No food bits stuck to the screen.
Finals week! You’re cute. *chugs wine and does nothing alllllllll. niiiiiiiight. looooooooong*
Tiffani´s last blog ..Tiff’s Kitchen: Perfect Vanilla Bean Cake
“No Offense” – it’s like a “get out of jail free” card.
THANK GOODNESS.
LOL… I tend to agree with you…
That’s the right answer.
Jen´s last blog ..Christmas in January!
Man, do I wish my middle name was “Piotr.” Makes it sound like I make people disappear (in the “they die” way, not the “David Blaine” way).
I just imagined what Chuck Norris would do to David Blaine, if they were ever in the same room.
It wasn’t pretty.
brad´s last blog ..ambition + mission = you, me, bar food and electric musical stylings
You two just wrote a full season of episodes for 24. When are we to see this?
I’m pretty sure Maxie and I could act it out in a 60 second vlog.
Marie´s last blog ..My Celtics
I haven’t watched 24 in forever but I do think that the plotlines are pretty much as you and Berto described. Rid. ic. U. lous. I can’t even believe its still on the air you would think that Jack would be dead by now with all the crazy shit he has had to deal with. 24 is stupid – no offense! Haha – I couldn’t resist, I hate that shit too. I never overlook what someone says when they add that to the end. Its a great insight to their true personality.
Exactly. It can be no more than a guilty pleasure. If you actually think it’s QUALITY programming (at least at this point)… we probably can’t be friends.
Kimberly@PrettyPinkMomma´s last blog ..True Story Tuesday – Fart Bump
Hmmm….I know that I am guilty of the chat posting. I can say in my defense that I’ve only done it a total of twice…in over 100 posts….that’s not tooo bad is it?
Oh, I have a couple more in my archives. It’s just determining “funny to ME” from “funny to EVERYONE”… I don’t always succeed.
It would be fun to be a fly on the wall and see how those episodes come about. If they bring Tony back from the dead AGAIN, I think I’ll barf.
Despite him being the only kind of attractive male on the show, I am still inclined to agree with you.
Barbara´s last blog ..A poem (I wrote) about Jake
i absolutely LOVE that you guys are nerdy enough to throw an icarus reference in there. HEART.
I love that you love that.
Alice´s last blog ..weekended! or, I HAZ A TATTOOO!
Oh, if only NPH could make cameos in everything. The world would be a better place.
SO true.
emily´s last blog ..it’s not you. it’s me.
Your gmail chats > my gmail chats.
Well, this WAS a special one.
Herding Cats´s last blog ..When it rains….
can we please gchat? ok, great, thanks.
Mission ACCOMPLISHED.
Chelsea Talks Smack´s last blog ..Life is delicious, like cupcakes….and chocolate martinis.
Yeah sorry! Totally skimmed over it… hahaha!
Jerk. I knew it.
Karly´s last blog ..Bread
What’s 24?
I kind of wish I didn’t know.
Spaz´s last blog ..5 Things you really need to attend a LAN party
Dear LiLu,
I am in love with Berto. Thanks for introducing him to my limited world. PS. I’m a little bit in love with you, too.
xo
Awww. You’re the best.
That’s freakin’ awesome. LOVE the Mad Libs idea about 24
It’s SO TRUE!!!
to be honest, i don’t watch 24. but i love me some himym.
Something for everyone.
Vittoria´s last blog ..I have a confession
24 freakin rocks! No matter how crazy or weird it is, I will always watch. I’m a sucker like that.
It is a ride, I’ll grant you that.
Made A Huge Mistake´s last blog ..Adventures in e-Dating:: Volume 1
I need to start gchatting you.
Although I think I’d just be confused the entire time.
Or you’d be confused.
It’d just be a huge confusion.
I think it’d be AWESOME confusion.
Cheryl´s last blog ..Dating Wednesdays with Ania
I want to be friends with Berto!
Trust me. You do.
I like the fuzzy buttons (facebook, twitter, etc.)
Why thanks!
That was one crazy ass journey! I can’t wait until I have a TV again – it’s been way too long.
It does make for a more interesting Monday evening.
Cyndy´s last blog ..Groundhogs and Ghosts
I don’t watch 24 anymore but your Gchat had me hollering over here. Grl your freaking crazy and Berto rawks too. Livit your ass got some raw unadulterated funny ass talent when it comes to this here blog shit.
Haha, thanks so much hon. I try!
Oh, jaysus, I sure don’t want to be Octomom….
Gimme famous and broke. I could cash in on TV interviews!
danielle´s last blog ..Book Review: Bleeding Violet by Dia Reeves
24 is the worst show on tv.
you heard it here first.
Maxie´s last blog ..Would You Wednesday
This season of 24′s looking up, eh?
And it’s the last one…!
Can’t wait to see the final fall of Renee into Jackdom.
Sebastian´s last blog ..Fetishes of the far east
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