I’ve mentioned a few times how I have a little trouble with The Sleeping.
It makes no sense, right? It’s one of the few things we as humans are supposed to be PROGRAMMED to do. Eat, sleep, bone a little, eat afterwards, pass the eff out. In a perfect world, that’s how it would be.
But for some reason, MY body prefers to “pass out, wake up to pee at 5 am, fitfully try to go back to sleep but end up thinking about omgthereissomuchtodotoday and I forgot to take the rent check downstairs and it’s the 5th so I actually need to do it today and I can just SEE the dirty dishes in the sink mocking me and my skills as a good housegirlfriend and OH EM GEE I still have not unpacked my suitcase(s) from ten days ago, am I really a grown up? REALLY? because I’m pretty sure my grandmother who taught home ec for 50-odd years would be ashamed of the woman I have become…
…until Axe Murderer inevitably reaches through the end of the bed and sinks a claw into my big toe, at which point I sigh heavily, give up on sleeping all together, and shuffle out to the living room to begin what already feels like A Helluva Day.
So, a few weeks ago, my doctor gave me a prescription for Ambien. Which I put into action over the vacay last week… and found to be positively magical. I slept through the night, woke up rested, and barely noticed the kitty teeth gnawing at my itchy witchy toesie wosies in the wee hours of the morning. B even high-fived me on Sunday when I woke up at the oh-so-late hour of NINE THIRTY (gasp!!), and said, “Great sleeping, baby!”
And all was right with the world.
EXCEPT.
I’m not much of a dreamer. Maybe a flash here or there, but it’s been years since I woke up and actually remembered a dream.
Apparently, Ambien changes all that.
Suddenly, you’re dreaming- vividly- about cleaning out your grandfather’s recently-deceased (fictional?!) neighbor’s house, when you happen across a program for an old ballet recital you had, oh, TWENTY YEARS AGO. And you’re so out of it you can’t even remember if it was sweet or creepy in the dream.
The next night, I had no eyelashes. They were just… gone. I desperately tried (and went through) about a bucket of falsies, at which point of course I was covered with them and they, naturally, turned into bugs. Creepy crawly bugs. On my face. (Wait. Did you hear me? MY FACE.)
Last night was the kicker. We started watching “Deadwood,” and I was all stoked for some cowboy dreams.
What did I get? A little Seth Bullock “Montana” action? Maybe he rescues me from the evil Al Swearengen and we live happily ever after running the swingingest saloon in town?
Rawwwwr. Lasso me, baby.
Alas, my friends. I dreamt that Maxie and Lexa and I were in Vegas, feeding tigers cinnamon and accidentally killing hookers.
I think.
It could have been a panther.
But it was definitely a jungle cat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P.S. Oh, dear god. Apparently I am also here today. With back up singers @lexalemmy and @katierose_ . Um, sorry I didn’t warn you guys?
The shame.
P.P.S. Did you vote for me yet in the 20SB Bootlegger Awards? You totally can. Til Sunday. I won’t even get mad. Swear.
P.P.P.S. Yesterday, my friend Rob’s blog about the documentary he’s directing looked like this.
Today, it looks like this.
Thanks to little ole me.
LOVE.
And cavy? You’re next.
{ 139 comments }
I absolutely hate remembering my dreams. They get creepy as hell!
But uh…tigers don’t like cinnamon. You know this.
I KNOW. That’s why it was so weird!!!
Oh I sympathise. These days I sleep peacefully till I need a wee, then having stumbled back from the toilet I cannot sleep.
Yet another reason for me to take a booze-break in January…
Didn’t Tiger take ambien as his ‘pre-sex’ drug? Maybe I should pop a few!
I know he was on it the night he crashed. I’ve only been taking a half, who knows how much he took…
Yea, I took Ambien once. One night I trained a fleet of bunny ninjas, but then they turned on me because I didn’t match their 401K benefits in a way they deemed acceptable.
But I decided to make my trademark pot roast (???) as a peace offering. Eventually they formed a union with Teddy Roosevelt as their leader.
Mhm.
HAHAHAHA. Thank you, oh thank you, for the “bunny ninjas” image.
Nona Reply:
January 5th, 2010 at 1:54 pm
I will be happy for the rest of this really shitty day because I read the words “bunny ninjas.”
That makes two of us.
I’m pretty sure The Sleep Problems are contagious. I’ve been awake until 2am every night for a week, falling asleep briefly for the worst nightmares of my life before waking up at 5am.
Dear world, I’m twenty-fucking-four and shouldn’t suffer from chronic nightmares. Adjust yourself.
This is what I’m saying. What’s wrong with the world when you can’t drink yourself into a slow and peaceful slumber??
I heard the sex is Ah-Mazing on Ambien. Just sayin
This is my intrigued face.
God I have freakish dreams everynight without Ambien…all I can say is thank goodness I do sleep so poorly because it end the freakish misery in my Etherworld.
But at least you are getting some solid sleep and wishing your boss into oblivian for making you work instead of napping at your desk. Don’t you just love the pharmaceutical cure!
But I am weary from chasing the tigers and hookers! Life is hard.
They HATE cinnamon, love pepper. I should have known dammit.
We need to stop watching the Hangover so much.
Never.
I’ve not remembered my dreams in forever – the odd nightmare here and there but other than that NOTHING. Clearly my brain is too tired to function anymore once I hit the pillow… it’s sick of my mundane thoughts throughout the day so it’s being a bitch and not giving me anything back!
Trade ya?
And ps:
Awesome moves!
Why, thank you.
I remember just one dream (two if you count the getting to school and finding you are still in your PJ’s, but that does not count as I hated school so much that I feel that was more a right of passage than a dream). The dream that still haunts me shortly after my dads death. I dreamt that I found him in the garage and that if I could get him back inside the house everything would be OK. It was such a horrible experience that I decided (or at least my unconscious decided) that was it for dreaming – me and dreaming were through….
P.S. by a miracle of calculation I make 10pm through to 5am a magical 7 hours – much more sleep and you will be heading into cat territory and you know how territorial they can be….
Why YES. Yes I do. *rubs sore toes*
I would enjoy many dreams of Seth Bullock… but he is a bit on the skinny side. (Huge fan of Deadwood) This is one of my favorites from DW
http://cshulfer.blogspot.com/2009/11/happy-turkey-day.html
Dreaming crazy ass dreams is normal when I take any type of serious meds it’s flat out FREAKY!
Which is the lesser of two evils? Sigh.
I don’t have trouble sleeping, but with everything you’ve written here about Ambien..
SIGN ME UP!
Eyelash critter bugs, here I come!
And you procreated. *sigh*
Love the ambien. Doesn’t do the dream thing for me, but it also doesn’t make me sleep all night either. Nothing does…hormones are a bitch.
Trust.
So not only are you getting more sleep, but you’re also getting a pleasant surprise when you wake up and find that your face isn’t covered with bugs or there aren’t any dead hookers lying around (I’m assuming.) I call that a win-win. Especially getting to kill hookers in a consequence-free setting. People pay good money for that experience in some parts of the world. I think you should embrace it.
That’s true. The Vegas one was like my very own personal video game. As long as the tigers don’t get mad about the cinnamon and eat ME.
That’s what the dead hookers are for.
Yikes! I can’t decide which would be worse… not sleeping or creepy dreams. But my bad dreams tend to stick with me and freak me the fuck out.
I’ve decided not sleeping is worse, mostly because then I’m traumatized ALL of the time, rather than HALF of the time with freaky dreams. Sigh.
OH MY GOD YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS (to the video, that is).
and falsies are life-ruiners. i attempted to wear them to junior prom, and convinced myself that wearing them for dance all the time made me an expert applyer. NOT the case.
Pictures to prove it.
cavy Reply:
January 5th, 2010 at 4:40 pm
i’ll have mom send some to me!
ROCK.
AND yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss to the new design. I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED OH MY GAAAHHHHSH.
<3
oh that terrifies me! i have bad sleep but if i had crazy dreams i think i will keep my mild restlessness. i still have occasional crazy dreams… like when the manfriend makes me sleep on the other side of the bed and not my normal spot! sighhhhh
We are not allowed to switch bed OR couch sides. Ever. End of story.
I had a little sleepwalking incident on Ambien. I’m blind as a bat, so the last thing I always do before I go to sleep is take off my glasses (duh). One night my husband was still up playing video games, I had gone to bed, and then…he finds me cleaning the kitchen. After a few seconds he realizes I am not awake because I’m not wearing my glasses, I’m just wandering around like I’m not seeing a damn thing anyway.
So I guess the upside is that you might be able to sleep AND get the dirty dishes out of the sink.
I like the way you think. Except I always end up breaking at least one wine glass, so then I’d probably cut myself on it and bleed to death while sleepwalking.
I JUST CAN’T WIN.
Nyquil does the same thing! I have a love/hate relationship w/ it b/c it makes me pass the eff out when sick but then I have the weirdest/creepiest/craziest dreams ever and wake up disturbed.
Also, who doesn’t kill hookers while in Vegas? It’s like a mandatory thing. There’s too many of them there. They are like the deer up here. Rapidly multiplying and fun to shoot at. (J/K, I would never shoot Bambi. It’s cruel. But hookers? Well, they are free game)
They’re not just free game. I’m pretty sure they’re like, 50 points.
Children are 100.
What?
LOVE the Ambien stories/dreams!
Hilarious!
Get this…….I used it once…. I was also taking Lexipro because not only was I not sleeping – but I was waking up having panic attacks. Well one night before bed, I made the mistake of taking them BOTH right before bed.
had sex that night and DURING sex – I could see people sitting in bleachers around us WATCHING US!!!!! I told said “boy” that people were watching.
I’m pretty sure he wanted to have me committed at that point
LOVE me some “good med” stories!
LMAO
He tried to give me LexaPro but real drugs scare me. I’m a wuss like that.
Tara is right on the Ambien sex. it’s crazy. I may possibly have some amazing stories.
I’ve been on Ambien for years now, and I have to say, it’s my best friend. I want to make out with it and have babies with it.
Boom chica wow wow!
That’s okay. Last night, I dreamed that me, my brother, my friend Will and his brother, and Kevin Smith were in a western, and we were shooting clones of James Caan’s character ‘Mississippi’ from the John Wayne movie El Dorado. And then it morphed into us staving off an alien invasion, little green men and all. And we were using the same shotguns we were using to kill the Clones of Mississippi.
Um. That doesn’t sound freaky. That just sounds kind of AWESOME.
Did you win??
MJenks Reply:
January 6th, 2010 at 12:07 pm
Duh, of course we won. We blew those little green fuckers back to whatever planet they came from. The real James Caan even helped us.
You sure the doc gave you ambien and not a little lsd? hmmmm…
Oh, and don’t feed tigers cinnamon. They like pepper. I learned that on the hangover! See, I DO pay attention!
I’ll buy some fresh ground on the way home. Don’t want to anger the jungle cats…
Ambien doesn’t do it for me, I need more restful sleep. That’s why I reached out to Michael Jacksons doc for some of the heavy stuff. Bastard won’t return my calls!
Someone probably offed him to GET his drugs.
Ah, Ambien.
I took it for a short period of time at which point I’d wake up at 2am to find myself in the kitchen eating Oreos and then become so disoriented that I had to walk with my hands on the wall so as to not fall over. The sleep when I got it was great but my side effects were not. I would have taken dreams over creepily waking up in the kitchen anyday. (Though I do love me some Oreos. Just not when I have to get up at 6 am the next morning and not when I’m supposed to be sleeping!)
You and Lisa should take Ambien together and play patty cake all night. And video tape it. Just because it’d be hilarious for the rest of us. Thanks in advance.
I am taking sleep drugs too, that make me feel like I have a hangover when I first wake up and its hard to wake up. I sleep awesome, but the dreams are freaking vivid and very real.
Example – I was in Vegas (whats it with dreaming about Vegas) and I was riding a big wheel down the strip — WTF?
A big wheel? Like, caveman, “we invented the wheel” style? That kind’s of badass.
zipcode Reply:
January 5th, 2010 at 10:51 am
Big Wheel like the popular toy from the 70′s and 80′s – love sleep drugs
OMG EVEN BETTER. Ahahahahaha!
I’ve woken up angry at people because I couldn’t remember if it was a dream fight or a real fight. That doesn’t go over well.
And that’s without the drugs.
Oh, I’ve done that. Except usually I think someone’s mad at ME, and I’ll be all “B, why are you mad at me??” and he thinks I’m crazy. -Er than usual.
Socks Reply:
January 5th, 2010 at 12:40 pm
Apparently I once walked out to the living room sobbing, asking the fiance why he left me. He, up playing video games, had no idea what I was talking about and put me back into bed. And then he teased me mercilessly the next day.
No drugs involved sadly
Haha! I too remember waking (a very confused) B up one night DEMANDING to know why he broke up with me. Crazy in the pants…
Ambien. Schmambien. It didn’t work for me. Well – maybe for four hours, and then it was too late to take another one. Sigh. I switched to the big guns Trazadone and now all is right with the world. I actually sleep for EIGHT WHOLE HOURS! And I don’t ever dream because I’m just knocked the fuck out. But still. EIGHT WHOLE HOURS. It’s like I’ve died and gone to heaven.
Um. Want?
k8 Reply:
January 5th, 2010 at 6:55 pm
Seriously. You need it. It works.
k8 Reply:
January 5th, 2010 at 6:56 pm
Oh, but there is NO sex on Trazodone. No desire. No will. No way. Just so you know. You gotta bone before you take it.
Hmmm. Maybe I’m okay au natural…
The “accidentally killing hookers” part was glossed over, yet it sounds so intriguing.
I have crazy-weird dreams when I get sick and take NyQuil or any other medicine that makes me drowsy. They’re so vivid too that for a second when I wake up I swear I was having a conversation with a flying Armadillo.
This is all I have to say about that.
I wish I could blame my dreams on a perscription. I have vivid crazy dreams like that all the time. I used to share them with the hubs, but when he started looking at me sideways, hiding knives and questioning having his guns in the bedroom while I sleep, I stopped telling him….
The NRA would be proud.
I just don’t get how people can say sex is amazing with ambien?!?
Within 30 minutes of taking it I’m out…
I am also confused. But always willing to try new things. I’m a go-getter like that.
We are total opposites. I normally have weird, vivid dreams that I remember. Like the other night I had a dream that the world was beautiful before word hits us that aliens (like the ones from War of the Worlds) were coming for us, so we hid in a gigantic house we had been in earlier. I had to explore more and went into the basement before some weird criminal guys (like the ones from Mall Cop… sorta) wanted to break in and kill us all. I ended up beating the shit out of the biggest, buffest guy and then he started to “like” me when we realized the aliens weren’t coming so we all started jumping on a trampoline in the basement. Yeah, I dream STRANGE things.
I wonder why it affects us differently! Interesting…
However, when I took Ambien I was completely dreamless (although I’d swear my mini panic prior to actually falling asleep felt like a dream).
Oh yeah, note for you–never try to fight going to sleep after taking an Ambien. Scary crap happens
Hehe, killing hookers? What the random! I luv it!
“…like the ones from Mall Cop…”
AWESOME. Hahahaha!
In response to your reply to an earlier comment…
“What’s wrong with the world when you can’t drink yourself into a slow and peaceful slumber??”
Amen. I’m with you.
You get me. You really get me.
Ambien scares me. I’ll stick with Benadryl.
I may go back to it, if this keeps up.
Obviously you haven’t had a deep sleep in years, that’s why all your dreams are catching up with you now
I am glad that I can fall asleep pretty much anytime, anywhere… not being able to sleep is one of the worst kind of tortures.
It really, really is. Especially when you fall asleep on the metrobus on the way to work and wake up to find all the weirdos oggling you.
NOT COOL, my friend. Not cool.
You lost me at the no eyelashes. How can one life without long lush eyelashes?
I KNOW. Although I could’ve just take half of B’s. His are REDIC.
oh.. this even kinda scares ME!!!!
It is no bueno, my friend.
You make sleeping pills sound awesome.
Thanks for the comment. It feels great to be back! Oh and trust me, you’ll hear about this lion cut business, and see pictures. Maybe even videos if you’re lucky! ;D
Can’t wait. Welcome back to the ‘sphere, darlin.
A girlfriend of mine quit Ambien ever since she woke up the next morning to discover that she had slept-drive and lost her wallet and met some dude named Scary Larry.
I can’t say in public what helps me sleep.
Not even HERE? Hot damn!
My sleep habits are similar to yours, inevitably I have to wake up and pee at some point OR the boy wakes me up with his snoring (usually the case) around 2-3am and I’m awake for an hour or two. I told him he if he loves me he should cut off his nose… after all Van Gogh cut off his ear for the woman he loved…I don’t think it’s asking too much do you?
B is an angel and sleeps on his side for me. I’m sure I’ll hear about it when he’s 60 and his back is broken, though.
I hate waking up in the middle of the night to pee! For me it’s usually around 2 or 3am which is right smack in the middle of the night. Booo.
Your dreams on Ambien sound scary. They sound like my dreams when I take Nyquil….which is why I don’t take Nyquil anymore!!
But, see, if it was 2 or 3, I think I could go back to sleep. It’s the fact that it’s JUST EARLY ENOUGH that I start looking at the clocking and going “two hours left to sleep… one hour left to sleep…”
Oh and have you ever tried Tylenol PM? LOVE the stuff.
Yes ma’am, it’s good stuff. Kinda makes me groggy and my doc said it wasn’t good to take as frequently as I was.
Eeeekkkk….it’s one of the reasons I stopped taking sleeping pills. Tylenol PM is not bad though.
I voted! I had to make sure to not check things like “Most Awkward Blogger” and “Least Likely to Be Marked as Read.” Say wha?
You mean you DID check them, right? Because I am definitely “most awkward”. Come ON now.
I’ve never taken Ambien, but I used to Tylenol PM a lot. And the weirdest dream I remember having from that time were vegetables playing in a band.
Ever seen Veggie Tales? Haha.
Ashley Reply:
January 5th, 2010 at 11:35 am
Sigh. Can’t type.
Used to *TAKE* Tylenol PM.
It’s ok. I speak typo.
“Life Just Got a Little Bit Creepier.”
I read that and freaked out. For a minute I thought you had spotted me following you around. But apparently not . So what were we talking about here?
Don’t worry. I know a compliment when I see one.
I could write a whole book about my dreams on ambien. And then a sequel about the things I’ve done when semi-awake on ambien. The best? worst? I dunno, was when I wrote to my deaf boyfriend and told him that I told the paparazzi I was in love with him, drank two bottles of wine, and woke up upside down with my feet in the air to my roommate screaming. That really happened.
That makes FOUR of you who have sleep-walked on it. I’m kind of terrified now.
So you had a dream that you were Zach Galifianakis in The Hangover? That is the best dream ever!
Now I’m imagining his brain in my body. GREAT. Guess I know what I’m dreaming about tonight.
ACK!! I have been having a wretched time sleeping lately. I’m not much of a long sleeper as is, but 3 hours a night is just not ok. This has been going on for maybe a month?! drives me insane. Sorry about all these crazy dreams!! Tea, try switching to tea…or warm milk.
Actually, I DID switch to tea this week. You’re so smart!
My friend is taking Ambien and she too has all of these vivid dreams. I will have to tell her about your post. I feel as if I never sleep. There are days I’m very thankful to be unemployed based up on the whopping two-hours I scored the night before
http://allytales.blogspot.com/2010/01/mysterious-litter-bug.html
Two hours?? I would have to call in sick. Mama needs her rest.
PS I didn’t mean to post my latest blog into my comment box. Oops, it has nothing to do with sleep! Ha ha!
Haha, no worries. As you can see from my P.S.’s, I am all about the shameless self-promoting.
What?
This is weird. It seems everyone I talk to is having trouble sleeping these days…including me. I get anxiety in the middle of the night about all the stuff I need to do. Oh, and I still haven’t paid rent or unpacked so don’t feel alone on that one.
My goal for tonight is to unpack. And resist a soothing glass of wine. We shall see…
I’ve heard tell that some folks have vivid dreams that are nice and not completely messed up. I don’t believe it though. Every time I remember a dream it’s either a complete mindfuck or some horrible situation that puts me in a bad mood all day.
But I suppose it could be worse. A friend of mine once took Ambien, fell asleep and woke up 14 hours later laying in a pile of Starburst wrappers (which he didn’t own when he went to sleep) with all the candles in his room lit.
Seriously, you guys… these stories are TERRIFYING me. I’m convinced I’m going to kill one of the cats in my sleep or something.
I also have a ton of problems sleeping! When I do manage to sleep I have the WEIRDEST dreams. Always! A roomate of mine in college would take Ambien to sleeo. One time I came home from a party to find that she had emptied the entire contents of the fridge onto our counters and was counceling a jar of peanutbutter and a bottle of ketchup, who were apparently in a fight. She then fell “asleep” standing up…that Ambien can do some weird stuff to you…
Oh. Em gee. Can you IMAGINE if you had the PB & ketchup fight on video?!!??!?! I would never do anything else except watch it over and over again.
it gives me the craziest dreams too…my mom thinks that she ate a whole package of candy cigarettes (asleep) while taking it (why my parents had packages of candy cigarettes laying around? your guess is as good as mine)
Were they the bubble gum kind (awesome, but not awesome they they ATE them) or the chalk kind (not awesome, but at least she won’t poo bubbles)?
Funny, I suffer from insomnia myself (on/off fo lyfe!) and am planning to post my adventure in ways to cure it naturally!
SWEET. I’ll just mix and match remedies. I’m sure that’s healthy!
Well thank GOD I don’t have sleeping probs because I have weird enough dreams as it is. Last night I had a dream I got pregnant and in my dream, my LITTLE BROTHER asked me if I had used protection. I mean, WTF? Yeah, it was that bad. I don’t think I could handle Ambien.
Well, first of all, what does is matter if the bun’s in the oven already?? Stop being so judgey, little bro!
See I’m a vivid dream girl all of the time. So the dreams you had would be fairly normal to me. When I first started trying Ambien (and later Lunesta), I was hoping I’d get a break from some of the dreams. No such luck.
We will suffer together. *hums something strong-womany*
not to sound all heath ledger-ish or like an ambien commercial but after i traveled abroad the jet lag was kicking my ass and i could not get a good night’s sleep for weeks. my mom shared her ambien and i have lit-rally never slept better. no creepy dreams tho, just the usual lusty ones
You should totally blog your dreams. You probably have the kind I was after with Montana there.
Oh just wait until you have kids! You will never sleep and its not because you don’t want to, its because someone (or in my case 3 someones) won’t let you. The dreams that you have when you are pregnant are super crazy too. I don’t know why that is but the hormones make your dreams super intense and vivid. So all though I have never taken Ambien I know exactly what you mean about the crazy dreams. Glad to hear that you are actually getting some rest now. Hmmm, maybe I should give the kiddos Ambien and then I can get some sleep too – J/K
I’ve heard a little whiskey goes a long way with kid and sleep.
What?
That blooooooows. I had Seth Bullock dreams. Oh yes ma’am, I sure did…giddyup.
Did you break through his stoic man-presence and get him to fall in love with you??
I mean, that’s cool.
i took the liberty of looking up eyelashes in my dream dictionary…i suggest you fight to get that feminine power back, our foremothers didn’t burn their bras for nothin!
To dream that all your eyelashes fall off, suggests that you are having difficulties expressing yourself. It may also mean a loss in your feminine power. If only one eyelash falls off, then it also signifies good luck.
Hmmm. I haven’t had trouble “expressing myself” in a long, long time. Maybe it means LOTS of good luck?
I always remember my super horrible dreams! I absolutely hate it! Glad you are able to sleep now. =]
Thanks, dear. It’s better, dreams or no dreams.
You didn’t dream about me??? The shame. Maybe tonight. I’ll be the one holding the Firefly vodka.
You little minx!
Deadwood! Gahhh i miss that show. And this post made me lol at my desk about the random dreams.
BTW, Ambian is an nickname we gave to a friend’s sisters boyfriend who is the most boring person ever.. aka you feel like you’re going to fall asleep when you’re around him. hahahaha just thought you’d like to know
Hahaha! That is PERFECTION.
I have crazy-ass vivid dreams as it is. Makes me want to take some Ambien, just to see what would happen…
Apparently people are having similar effects with Nyquil and Tylenol PM. Maybe start off slow…
That post was magical. I started having really weird dreams right before my wedding about horrible (but totally strange) things happening. One dream about, and I’m not joking, me discovering my husband to be was secretly wearing women’s underwear. I actually woke up laughing from that one. Not sure which was creepier, the dream or waking up laughing.
Also? Barely slept the last two nights, feel free to pass the Ambien.
The laughing. But it’s also hilarious.
I’m a horrible sleeper, too. I literally do not remember the last time I slept through the night fully. That can’t be good.
Cats and their little claws don’t help either. I once had a dream my cat was eating my nose only to wake up and find his face hovering over mine because he was hungry and waiting for me to get up and feed him. Creepy.
Can you say “Miranda and the cat eating her face” episode?
YEAH.
Poor child! you lived all those years without remembering your dreams! that sucks big time.
My dreams are super creepy and even when they are happy I wake up feeling a bit uneasy, but I know I would miss them if they were gone.
Oh well, it’s good that you can rest and dream things you can blog about after.
I never thought of it that way. I was totally happy dreamless because I used to get the WEIRDEST deja vu.
Something tells me that won’t be happening with these dreams.
This is why I’ve always been such a staunch advocate of heroin. All the benefits of Ambien, plus you get super skinny!
Oooo, perfect. I just need an excellent bronzer to cover up the “jaundice” pallor it brings under the eyes and we’re good to go.
Sometimes my dreams are SO CREEPY that they haunt me for days. I once dreamt that I had these enormous disgusting pimples that I needed to show everyone. It was so horrifying. Seriously, I couldn’t LOOK at my face in the mirror for weeks {which is shocking as I find myself VERY attractive}
Did you pop them for the crowd?
Ewwwwwwwwwwww
No eyelashes? Bugs? [shudder]
I have a friend on Ambien and they have nightmares too. Apparently it’ll bitch-slap you to sleep but there’s a price to pay. (They’ve also tried Lunesta and seem to have less of that problem in dreamworld though.)
Oddly enough, I didn’t really mind the Vegas one. Maybe I just need to get used to the weird.
Acid dreams. Been there. Terrifying, at best.
I’ve been having creep-o dreams, too; last night I dreamt I was a roadie for my friend’s Misfits cover band (note: my friend does not have a Misfits cover band. At least not yet.) In my dream, I got yelled at because I hadn’t washed the tour van. I woke up in a panic and humming “Die, Die My Darling.”
Did I mention I haven’t touched an illegal substance in for-ev-er?
I think this was just foreshadowing for your friend starting a Misfits cover band. You should totally tell them to get on that.
I thought that jungle cat bit was a line from Sunny or something, but then I realized that I was thinking of a quote from Alex James (of Blur) where he had a dream in which he turned into a leopard.
Wow, that was a great comment. Perhaps I’m sleeping and just dreaming I wrote it?
QUICK. GET THE CINNAMON.
I wish I could have awesome dreams like that. In the last cool one that I had I was doing tricks on a dirt bike but I was wearing this really cute outfit that never got dirty.
Axe Murderer is a great name for a cat!
I thought so.
Weird! I hate having to take sleeping pills, but I have a hell of a time getting enough sleep most nights!
Y’know what you should do is eat a whole lot of spicy food and take an ambien and see what kind of crazy stuff you dream!
Worst. Idea. EVER.
I’ll try it tomorrow.
Dreams are just the subconscious’s way of trying to tell you something…
You’ll get reuse to them… and if you really want to, you’ll be able to analyze and interpret them. I have had some REALLY funky, crazy-ass dreams over the years… some scary, some I woke up thinking WTF? But, usually, I can trace back the symbols into what I was actually thinking about….
I don’t have an intimate knowledge of you, but what little I know of you, I could say that the last one – with your two best friends? Symbolizes how much you like to have fun with them, partying and all (hence you being in Vegas) and you think you’re all three very pretty without trying, hence you “accidentally” kill hookers – as hookers represent other girls that try too hard to hook up with men that you see out and about when you are partying. It means that you feel a bit badly that you are so confident and pretty and you three are the life of the party. (I’m trying to not imply that you think highly of yourself as a bad thing, but as a very good thing.. hopefully that comes across…) I’m at a loss for the jungle cat, except that you love cats… feeding them cinammon – the only thing I can think of, is cinammon usually makes people less hungry, as it is a natural appetite supressant. Go with that, how you will… ;o)
It just seems to be a dream about happiness. As crazy as the dream was and how that may sound. I will also admit, this interpretation could be way off – symbols and dreams have to be personal to you, because it’s your mind and what symbols your mind wants you to see.
This is my favorite dream analysis of all time. I know nada about dreams but I’m just going to accept it 100%, because it makes me happy.
Hmmm. I think I’ll pass on the Ambien. And the weird accompanying dreams. I’ve heard about other stuff that supposedly makes you dream too, even when you’re awake. But the person that told me was complaining about seeing little green men at the time. I think he may have been an oddball. Lol.
All the best to you in this New Decade of awesomeness!! Yeah…
GREEN MAN!!!!!!!
It’s infuriating that when you set your mind to dreaming about one thing (i.e. cowboys), you get something far more unpleasant. Watching Russell Crowe movies before bed just makes me dream about random crap, not a hunky man.
I know. I was going to try this with Don Draper, but apparently the experiment is a FAIL.
Dude, I have that same problem ALL the time. Lately I average 4 hours per night. But those dreams are kinda wicked awesome, you should write a book. Or buy a dream dictionary.
I don’t think I want to delve into my subconscious. Scary things in there.
i once had a dream where i was pregnant, on a rollercoaster through wal mart, running from the terminator.
or helping danny devito stock shelves, while being terribly terribly thirsty.
Which Terminator?? If it was the one from T2, I SO GET THAT. I can’t even watch the commercials he’s in without cringing.
Tigers don’t like cinnamon, but EVERYONE likes that pre-mixed cinnamon sugar you can get. That’s probably what you had in the dream. You need to remember more details, obviously. Get on the ball!
twss
Pre-mixed cinnamon sugar? Is that what you call YOUR drugs?
Oh, my, I’ve forgotten how funny you are. With or without Ambien-CR.
Last night, incidentally, I dreamt about a black gang of miscreants, some of whose members had potato chips for eyelids.
These nubian goddesses referred to themselves as “Chip Lids” which, I think, should be the name of a band featuring you and at least six emotionally-disturbed middle-schoolers.
How emotionally disturbed… cause I don’t have life insurance.
i already have weird dreams as it is i can’t even imagine what would happen to me if i took ambien, oy.
I would stick to wine. Vey.
Ambien + already a little crazy = scariest dreams ever. Way to give me a great idea for The Hangover 3 though. Insomnia is consuming my life too, and apparently not only does it make you a grouchy bastard, it also makes you fat. I read it somewhere, so it must be true. Stupid bodies.
WAIT. WHAT?!
*stopping this instant*
HAHAHA… come ON. Tigers HATE cinnamon.
DUH. Why do you think it was a *nightmare*??
No way, man. Dreaming about riding off into the sunset with that whiny brat Seth Bullock? YOU SHOULD BE DREAMING ABOUT SWEARINGEN, who is the bad-assest bad-ass.
Just wait. You said you just started the Deadwood series? You’ll be on my side soon enough.
I dunno… I’m not sure I can get past the teeth. Though he does kind of remind me of Daniel Day Lewis in Gangs of New York. Yum.
OMG I am totally having problems sleeping lately. Maybe I should try some Ambien.
But I ALWAYS remember my dreams. I remember one time I had this dream that I was caring for this Japanese boy who had this special type of blood. Anyways, there were these mobsters chasing us and I was running around all over the world trying to get away from them and save this boy.
I’m not sure, but I was probably watching some sort of action movie before I went to bed that night.
Save the
cheerleaderJapanese boy, save the world…About a week ago, I dreamed I killed a river panther. A panther in a river. (Go with it, it was a dream. ) I felt bad, but the panther started it.
So, apparently, your new dreams are perfectly normal. Enjoy.
River panthers are known to be aggressive. *nods knowingly*
I have crazy ass dreams that I remember now, I could not imagine what kind of mindfucks I’d have if I was popping Ambien. For example, I dreamed last night that Garfield and I (yes, of the cartoon variety) were trying to save the world from Dinosaurs taking back the planet and out of nowhere Dennis Quaid pops up with a map of the world, draws a big fat black line between the Northern and Southern Hemispheres and says, “The South is out of luck, sorry!” I say, “But we’re IN the Southern Hemisphere!?!!!” He turns, wearing a t-shirt with the Queen of England on it and starts singing “That’s the Way of the World” By Earth Wind & Fire. Then I get eaten by a stegosaurus which is supposed to be a herbivore, but I guess I was just a little too tasty to pass up.
I was gonna say. The stegosaurus would have *totally* tipped me off.
i never remember my dreams either, so this TOTALLY makes me want to go on ambien. sounds AWESOME.
Just keep a notebook next to the bed. This shiz is priceless.
Maybe you’ve always had weird dreams and Ambien just helps you remember them.
This seems EXTREMELY likely.
Welcome to my life. I have vivid, random, make-no-sense dreams ALL THE TIME. And I don’t even take Ambien.
Win? Fail? Who knows…
I have horrible sleep issues (I never sleep through the night. Ever) so I feel your pain. I had eye surgery last week and they gave me sleeping pills to get through the first few days. The first night was insanely fabulous – I slept through the whole night and didn’t have any weird dreams. The following nights? Fucking insane. I had bizarre dreams. Totally intense, fuck-with-your-head, bizarre dreams. I was so conflicted. The sleep was great but the dreams were messing with my life.
After the sleep-walking terror stories and the “it makes you fat” comment, I’m totally ready to quit.
Am I the only one immune to Ambien? I’ve tried Ativan, Valium, Lunesta, Ambien and Ambien CR and yet I can’t seem to sleep more than 4 hours a night.
My dreams are that vivid without chemical enhancement. GOD ONLY KNOWS what would happen if I was to knock back an Ambien or two!
Holy Crapoli!
Or TWO?? Whoa, whoa. I take a half. And that is more than enough, apparently…
I’ve been having the weirdest dream lately… a fellow blog buddy assures me it’s my overindulgence of soft cheeses thats the case. When I can’t sleep, I pop a couple of antihistamines (saweeet)
But brie is so gooooooooooood…
Oh and I’m soooo hardcore!
Duh.
Recently I dreamed my teeth fell out & I spit up rocks & glass & couldn’t find my teeth in them. AND I AM NOT ON AMBIEN.
I HAVE WEIRD TEETH-MISSING DREAMS ALL THE TIME. Wtf?!?
Ok so this has nothing to do with your post (although congrats on getting through the night..aren’t vivid dreams bangin?!)…but I just had to let you know that there is a Bad Girls Club marathon currently gracing our presence on Oxygen. Thankfully the bf is out playing poker so I can watch a ridiculous amount of hours of the skanky monstrosity. Do it!!!
Oh, I’ve seen them all. Twice. Or three times. I just can’t watch them when he’s around. Unless I whine.
I’m a terrible girlfriend.
OMG! I can’t sleep at night either, but, I’ve been afraid to take Ambien because Ive heard some horror stories, and I’d hate to wake up in my car, naked, with a bowl of speghetti in my lap, and NO recollection of what transpired! And after listening to your vivid dreams? I’d rather suffer from insomnia!
PS; I was FINALLY able to vote for you! YAY!!
YESSSSSSSSS I love you!!! <3
meleah rebeccah Reply:
January 8th, 2010 at 9:21 am
I have the craziest dreams and I can’t even blame it on the drugs. I’m just weird.
I have a feeling I always did, the Ambien just makes me *remember* them…
I embarrassed myself with the snorting laughter I let out at, “(Wait. Did you hear me? MY FACE.)”
Thank you Ambien, thank you.
At least you reap the benefits, no?
I, on occasion, take a sleeping aid and have fuhreaky dreams. The last one involved me killing students and keeping them in a broom closet if they might write a bad eval.
But SLEEP is kind of worth it, I think.
I agree.
But then, I also haven’t murdered anyone yet..
Yeah… how ’bout that?! You’ve read my posts about dreams – great and otherwise – for the last several months. Nope. Can’t control them, but I love dreams so much that I usually smile as I drift off.
Here’s the plan: you – YOU! – must get a little steno pad for the nightstand because you’re bound to have some of the best in the neighborhood and might want to… share…moar – hahaha
My Blackberry = my steno pad. I’m high tech like that.
Damn, i want some ambien- i’m a nonsleeper too. fuck.
Like I said, magical.
Except for the whole bugs-in-the-face thing.
I didn’t read through all the comments because, well, I’m lazy, but did anyone else notice the “accidentally” before “killing hookers?”
I probably shouldn’t, but I feel compelled to ask…how??? Was it the tigers that did it after the cinnamon? I JUST NEED TO KNOW!
You e-friend in nuttiness,
Marissa
I think we *unleashed* the tigers on them. So maybe it wasn’t so accidental. Can we call that self defense?
Hmmm…I don’t see the problem. Thanks to Ambien, you get sleep and we get entertainment. Just keep telling us about the strange dreams, so we can live vicariously?
The things I do for you people.
It’s kind of the opposite for me. I pop a sleeping pill, it’s like complete darkness for five seconds and then it’s morning. Perhaps we should switch?
DONE.
I think that if I started dreaming vividly on a sleep medication I would probably be freaked out that next would come driving cars in my sleep.
At the same time, I would also pay money to have dreams like that and also to sleep through the night so… well I’ll keep reading and if you don’t start hijacking cars within the month I’ll make the call.
I haven’t driven one in about three years, so that would be *extra* terrifying.
Which one’s the brake again?
Dreams really shake me up sometimes, and I spend the next couple of days convinced that nightmares are just going to happen. It’s always exciting when they don’t! I’m glad you’re getting the rest you deserve though–it’s obviously so important.
The thing is, half the time I can’t tell if something was a dream or real. It is a problem, people!
I’ve never had the opportunity to acquaint myself with Ambien. I tried Melatonin and it gave me some of the most vivid, hideous nightmares ever so I cut that shit out lickety split. Now I get by on generic TylenolPM, which leaves me groggy and disoriented much of the day. And if something wakes me up, forgetaboutit, I’m not getting back to sleep. I’ll just lay there feeling groggy.
Some day I hope to have health insurance again and then maybe I can get my hands on the Ambien.
Wishing you pleasant dreams.
Tylenol PM also worked well for me- I just didn’t like taking it that often.
saturday night i had a dream i was supposed to traffic cocaine BACK across the border into mexico and i had NO IDEA how i was going to get it done. i was sitting on the bed in our hotel room (in my dream) rocking back and forth saying to myself “this is a dream this is a dream this is a dream.” and then i woke up. whew.
I *never* realize it’s a dream. That would probably help a lot…
I dream freaky without the Ambien (big surprise, I know.)
If I take Nyquil I wake up with horrific nightmares, all sweaty and panic-stricken. You know how the label says “may cause excitability in children”? Well.
The Dream Sweaty. I am all too familiar with this. And my ass crack does not approve.
I FUCKING ALWAYS DREAM ABOUT ALL MY EYELASHES BEING GONE! WHAT THE HELL DOES IT MEAN!?
Apparently, that we’re losing our feminine mojo. Let’s get on that.
Sleep is for the weak! I haven’t slept in years and I’m okay (she types while rocking back and forth in the corner).
See, this is why I stick to cats and not babies.
my roomate used to have a bottle of wine + ambien for dinner and say the strangest things as she was falling asleep. miss her.
i swear i had crazy dreams when i started taking sour gummy vitamins. only for a couple nights though, since i ate half a bottle at a time… oops.
I love that you miss her. Life is so much more entertaining with a little crazy, isn’t it?
OMG…I used to take Ambien, and it gave me THE most fucked up dreams! Like, SUPER crazy shit.
For some reason now, I can’t even take half an Ambien without being left exhausted until like 2pm the next day, which does blow….the stuff makes you pass out for sure, which is nice!
Maybe try a quarter? I can’t imagine taking a whole one.
Not only do I suck as sleeping, but I also have vivid dreams almost every time I sleep. So…it’s like I’ve taken ambien, but am impervious to it’s awesomeness. . . besides the crazy dreaming.
Ambien FAIL.
Those are some of the creepiest dreams ever. Is that seriously a side effect of Ambien…. have you tried Ambien sex yet, my bf is always curious to know if this is true – especially now after the whole tiger scandal. lol. let me know!
I think we tried last night. But it could have been a dream.
SEE?!
Blimey! I have huge problems sleeping–I just use over the counter sleep meds. I’m scared of stuff like Ambien!
I was, too. Until I went a couple weeks without a solid night.
And if your pants gets tight blame the Ambien, I have heard one of the side effects is sleep eating.. no shit.
Stop by I have an award for you
I am totally going to take stock of the fridge every night…
And thanks, hon!!
i had a dream the other night i was growing babies inside test tubes (literal test tube babies) with sheldon from big bang theory … and then my coworker stole them to sell on the black market and i didn’t care because she left dinosaur shaped grilled cheese.
apparently i’m doing meth before i go to bed. :/
DINOSAUR shaped. That is bad ass. Now I want one. Maybe at the Natural History Museum…
Just so you know? that video was the shiz.
Also just so you know, you guys all make me wish I lived where all the cool bloggers live more than I did originally….which is alot. Australia is so far away.
that is all.
Australia is SO far away. But I would much rather come to YOU than you come to US. I need a kangaroo in my life.
Why is it we always only remember the bad/creepy dreams we have and never the good ones? *sigh* Not fair…
So, so true.
I’m kinda jealous! I’d LOVE if I dreamed more!!! But if I do I barely remember it!!! Like the other morning I woke up, and while half-asleep I told The Boy I’d just the most AMAZING dream and it was SO good I was going to turn it into a book that was going to make me famous and by the time I woke up fully I couldn’t remember ANY of it!!!!!!!
It was probably the next Harry Potter, too. Life FAIL.
Oh the gloriousness of drug-induced dreaming. I was worried when I had those SUPER vivid dreams that it would make me more tired in the morning, but it didn’t! I was still well rested. So I was ok with the Wizard of Oz accompanying me, well, everywhere.
I’m confused… but I like it.
Hey lady. There’s something for you on my blog. Check it out.
You rock
If there is anything I love more in this world, is vivid dreams. I have always had them. An ambian sounds so good to me right now….
Even when bugs are crawling on your face?!
“itchy witchy toesie wosies”
I was laughing before this, but this is classic.
I shudder in horror thinking of your freakish dreams- especially the eyelash bug one. AK!
I can’t take credit for that. It’s Always Sunny all the way.
Aw Ambien Dreams…I used to have those but the worst was the sleep driving. Ambien made me sleep walk, sleep talk and sleep drive, which wouldn’t have been too bad but it also made me for some unexplicable reason removed my clothing. So yes I drove 60 miles one way to my office in the buff. I only woke up because I couldn’t get my key to work in the door. Standing in front of ones office at 2 a.m. totally naked is quite the experience.
You have the most UNBELIEVABLE stories, my dear!!! Did anyone see??
I don’t usually remember my dreams, but last night I had a dream that I was sitting on our bed picking burrs off of the covers that my B had dragged in (from a hard day on the prairie??? wtf??). When he came in and saw me doing this, he pushed me onto the covers, which resulted in all the burrs I’d just picked out being pushed back in. And I was pissed, which he found hilarious. So every time I would pick a bunch of, he’d push me into them again. And this repeated for what felt like hours, until finally, I turned to him, and screamed “IF THIS ISN’T A DREAM YOU ARE SO FUCKING DEAD.”
Lucky for him, it was.
Those damn burrs. I don’t blame you. They NEVER LET GO.
I know the feeling, I’ve had this problem for years…as my husband barely puts his head on the pillow and he’s out for a good 9 hours! Try melatonin, it helps.
Thanks!!
I’m not the best person to give advice on how to sleep, the sun almost rises here and I’m WIDE awake.
ps. share me the pills :p
There is a little award for you over at my blog if you are so inclined to accept it!
Ambien is magical.
Unfortunately once I started taking it there is no way I can sleep without it. I have been known to wake up and have full conversations with my boyfriend, eat bologna sandwiches, tweet and facebook and not remember it at all the next morning. But I stopped doing that when I got used to the drugs. Hopefully your dreams will taper off as well.
Aw, Deadwood rocks
The first two seasons particularly. It was cut short due to budget reasons I think — never quite made it to the end (there were meant to be 4 or 5 seasons).
Still, awesome while it lasts. Cocksuckers!
Haha, see that’s the reason why though insomnia is a big part of my life, I’m trying to resist resorting to those kind of pills! Is it bad that I haven’t even tried watching Deadwood?
Stephen K´s last blog ..Another award, another set of red herrings
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