Recently, I’ve been getting a lot of emails about finding one’s “voice,” a la blog.
(At least, I hope y’all meant blogs… I can’t help you with your press releases and such. I before e, mofos.)
Anyhoo, they send me these emails because- get this- they seem to think I’ve found MINE.
I know. I know.
And every time I get one of those, it sort of takes me aback. “Did they send this to the right person… Do they really mean MY little mess of a corner?”
This is all a bit odd for me. Now, I don’t deny that I am- currently- one big bag of personality. For better or for worse, ya love me or hate me. Holy Hell… I’ve become a Kardashian!!
But, my dear friends, and you knew there was a “but”… ’twas not always this way.
{insert shimmery “Saved by the Bell”-style fade out to a time long ago…}
dee dee dee dee, dee dee dee dee… okay I’m done.
Confession: When I was in 7th grade, I used to lock myself in closets and cry, because I thought I was so…
wait for it…
BORING.
(Sidebar: Sorry for that time at Steve’s house when you all really thought I was dead, Mom. I think I fell asleep. They must use fancy fabric softener or something.)
You see, I was part of a group… and we had the “funny” friend. The “tomboy” friend. The “boy-crazy” one, the “good-at-sports” one and the “smart” one.
And none of them were me.
I couldn’t figure out where I fit in. I was like a gay boy at a Texan high school with no musical theater program through which to find my true calling.
To be fair, this was also SEVENTH GRADE, when I’m pretty sure everyone and their mom felt like that. Or at least felt shitty about themselves in some way. Maybe you should all send me junior high pictures of yourselves so I feel better. Please?
God, this is turning into a therapy session. Okay, out of the Trust Tree and back into the real world. (Just not Real World DC. They really are boring.) The point is, eventually I found my goddamn voice or personality or chi or whatever the fuck you want to call it. And it took three things…
- Time. As in growing up (and into my big ole nose) and all that.
- Taking risks, like moving to the south, or getting a Brazilian. And lastly,
- Putting myself out there. NOT IN THE SEXY WAY, you pervs. Like, metaphorically, and shit.
What do those three things add up to? That’s right, class. Say it with me: EXPERIENCE.
And so it shall be with your blog. There’s no escaping it- it won’t take off if you huddle in your corner of the interwebs wondering if anyone will notice you, crying in your e-closet. And Steve’s mom won’t be there to eventually find you, dry your eyes, give you a cookie, and call your mom to come get her bag of crazy-ass daughter.
Write. Write well, and openly, and as often as you can. Every time you hit “publish” your voice will become stronger, your direction more apparent. But that, of course, is only half of it.
GET OUT THERE. Think of the blogosphere as one big dating field. How will anyone know you exist if you don’t say “hi”? Then maybe they see your comment and come over, they say hi too… oh look, you even have stuff in common! Let me take you out for an e-drink, i.e. give you an “award” or tag you in a meme or add you to my blogroll, and then other people e-meet you too, and so on and so forth!
The fantastic difference between dating and blogging is you can connect with as many people as you want. Um, I think I just compared blogging to polygamy… hmm. Well, how bout we just don’t tell B about that handie you’re giving me under the e-table and leave it at that?
Anyhoo, I think this place is kind of great. And if you think so too, and you want to be a part of it… make yourself heard. With time, your voice will develop, and who knows… you might just find the Zach to your Slater out here.
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LiLu.
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Take it back.
Maxie´s last blog ..Texts From Last Night: The Giveaway
It does take time. I just hung up my hat over at my corner of the world for a few reasons, including a new job. It has been suggested I go anon, but I have been writing so long, I am CONVINCED people will know it is me. Voice just takes time.
You could never, ever, be anything but yourself, my love. Again, your voice will be missed.
lemmonex´s last blog ..…and in the End
Matt Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 12:35 pm
Yeah, we would all definitely know its you if we read it.
Matt´s last blog ..Whats in a name
only you could take a post like this and make a polygamy reference relevant.
Shush. It’s why you love me.
every time I read your blog, I feel like the atheist who was dragged to church and while I’m sitting there trying to ignore the preacher, I feel like he’s speaking directly TO ME. not that I was dragged here or anything, but… okay… that was a weird analogy. but I just started blogging, and I feel like you’re talking to me. hahaha.
Just emailed you. Thank you so much for this. I totally know what you mean.
Great advice. The one thing I had to learn when I started blogging is that it took time to develop your voice and your purpose. You can’t just start off the bat with a perfected product.
So frustrating, so true.
Kim´s last blog ..Who Moved My Sarcasm?
My voice swears a lot and has a wicked New England accent.
I think that’s good enough for the rest of the world.
You actually do. It really threw me for a loop the first time I watched one of your vlogs.
moooooog35´s last blog ..Doggone Excuses
It seems everyone is sentimental today . . . I love it!!!
It takes courage to break out of that shell/comfort zone every once in a while, but the funny thing is, it appears we’re all doing it together . . .
. . . and holding hands . . .
. . . around a dim campfire singing “Kum Bah Ya” . . .
Okay, I’m done.
Then… why are we still holding hands?
*awkward*
Tricia´s last blog ..Save Me! I’m Melting!
I found my voice (other voice interrupting from inside his head) No you didn’t, it was me! Shut up! I was trying to make a point here, any way as I was saying… (other voice interrupting from inside his head) It was me that wanted to post all the bad tats, you are just a smarmy douche bag!
And so it goes on and on and on inside this circus tent I call a brain.
We who get to see the mess inside the circus tent on e-paper are grateful for your suffering.
Or something.
Skylers Dad´s last blog ..Bad Tat Tuesday, it’s baaaaack!
My writing voice can be a little nasal and can talk way too much, but it’s what I got so I work with it. Great post.
Thanks lover. I think your voice is juuuuuuuuuuuuust right.
Ahhh…love Zack and Slater. I can’t even imagine YOU boring.
The thing is, now I want to know if I actually WAS.
Probably.
my archives make me wanna hurl. common malady, from what i hear.
i think the biggest mistake i make, and that is see in others, is taking that whole “writing for your audience” gig a little too far. the internet version of trying too hard is every bit as painful as the real world version. (not that i would know anything about that whatsoever…)
bottom line, i write entries that feel right and good and make my heart squishy. i try not to write entries that feel forced, and i try not to put too much thought into how popular a post will be or how many comments i get. (much more fun to freak out about it later, anyway.)
the internet is just like making friends and trapping boys- the point is to look and act like it’s no big deal, you aren’t caught up about it, very casual, la la la, hide the crazy. except on the internet, you should only hide the blog crazy, right? we wanna see all the other crazy.
i still want to be you when i grow up.
Oh, I SO hear you on the archives. They hurt my heart, I can’t even look. Sigh.
But it is a PROCESS… *repeats to self*
Thanks, love.
verybadcat´s last blog ..A Trip Around the Sun
I used to hang out in my closet like the closet in ET. I hung posters in it and brought a lamp in there. So lame.
Great post! Great tips!
Pretending you’re ET is SO not lame.
Or is it…
Never mind. Don’t take any advice from me.
ally´s last blog ..I Never Wanted A Name Ring
My blog has become a real part of me. And my voice is loud and clear. And writing about some things has actually made me more confident in “real life.” And that has been an awesome revelation to me.
I personally think you found YOUR voice pretty damn fast… and it is pretty damn strong. xoxo
k8´s last blog ..Dating Advice
I love your personality and your voice
I can’t wait till my blog grows a little more….I’m almost to 100 followers. (anyone you could send my way would be fantastic!) HA
anyway – one of the first things that I need to get on is I need a good new blog design and a FRICKIN button!
Any suggestions?!!!
Thx MUCHO!
Emailed ya! I’d be happy to help with the design
Tami G´s last blog ..Motivational Monday
*WARNING – you may be offended* 
Man, you make it sound so damn easy!
That was not my intention… it ain’t easy. At all. This is more of a “there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, if you work for it” sorta thing.
san´s last blog ..Work it out weekends: minus the working out
Thank you for this, I found it very inspiring. In fact, it inspired me to the point that this is my first time to comment even though I have been a follower for quite a while now
Yeah, we all go through that awkward phase during our pre-pubescent up to our teenage years. My classmates in elementary and high school put up a Facebook group and uploaded our photos from way back, I looked butt-ugly what with my too skinny body and thick eyebrows 
I hope you’re having a fabulous week!
See? You comment, I go say hello. THE SYSTEM, IT WORKS.
xoxo
krissy´s last blog ..Yes, I am a Doll
Your voice gives me warm fuzzies all over my body. It’s just great. My voice is like scratches down a chalk board. Well, at least my singing voice is. My blogging voice is just rambling. Call me a ramblin man.
And now I am singing to you. SEE WHAT YOU’VE DONE?!?!?!
Love you.
Kellie´s last blog ..Weekly Want-It’s!
Zach, slater, gay kids in Texan classes, polygamy, this post has it all…
Look, I never said I wasn’t a mess. I said I’d found my voice. Which is: MESS.
Mo´s last blog ..The Little Red Box
That video was fantastic. I bet Jessie and Kelly feel like fools now.
And yeah, I’m kind of having trouble wrapping my head around the boring thing, too.
That 7th grader would never have called an Asian waiter a “ninja,” let’s just say that…
Liebchen´s last blog ..Damn, that is a sweet Earth
I was just blogging about the awkward that was my junior high experience, unrelated to blogging, but it must be in the air. Funny thing though, I would totally do it over again to see if knowing what I know now, it could be diff.
*sniff sniff* Definitely in the air.
Fuck me – I have to get a Brazillian?
He damn well better be sexy and chisled is all I gotta say
Truth? I only went once. It was enough.
You may have been “boring” in 7th grade but at least you aren’t one of those poor fools that peaked in jr. high and has to constantly relive their glory days to feel good about themselves. You kick ass now and that’s what matters.
Exactly. If I have to choose, I would definitely rather be a loser in 7th grade. Already had the braces and stirrup pants tucked into socks anyway.
Shannon´s last blog ..Stripper Pink
you.complete.me! awesome post!
Aw. Thanks love!
georgie´s last blog ..Post It Note Tuesday
I read locked in a closet in 7th grade and I immediately went to this thought: Oh, she played 7 minutes in heaven in 7th grade too.
I know wrong.
You do have a voice and a very funny one.
If you’d asked me even a couple years ago, I never ever would have thought anyone would think of me as “funny.” The world, it is an odd place.
littlemsblogger´s last blog ..Out-of-Tune-Tuesday Competition
Btw, you need to go to Jules and vote for me and the monkey. He dances like a white man with no rhythm.
You mean, like me? GOING.
littlemsblogger´s last blog ..Out-of-Tune-Tuesday Competition
bravo! well said!
Thank you, my dear.
clairemontgomerymd´s last blog ..i’m not proud
Why are you always right????
Why is that a bad thing????
Yankee Girl´s last blog ..Regrets
Nice tips!!
I miss saved by the bell
So say we all.
tia´s last blog ..Mondays Meal-Cuban Chicken & Vegetables
Love this post. Especially the “Omg I’m a Kardashian” part. Haha.
You’re so right though, I’ve totally seen how my voice has evolved on my blog. It takes time to find your voice. And some posts it’s there and some it’s just not. It’s a work-in, learning process!
A long and treacherous one.
Well, treacherous for the ego anyway. Shuttup.
Only a true-blue diva would be upset about being boring. Which is why you couldn’t be boring if you tried, dear. You can be my gay Texan any old time you like.
YEE HA!!!!!!!!!!
A´s last blog ..On writing
I decided to finally be myself when I started the blog I’m currently writing. However, I’ve found that being crass, vulgar and whiny isn’t always me, so I’m planning on taking on new things.
Basically what I’m saying is: Your blog entry hit the proverbial nail on the head considering what I’ve been pondering lately. Now I just need to find the time to do it outside of being a (crappy) mother, full-time student and (anal-retentive) housewife.
Time is the cruelest of mistresses. And I’m not making a joke here. Hope you find enough to figure all that out!
Jennifer´s last blog ..I can feel it in my bones
very well put! I duno if i could handle fame. I like being anon-ish.
I’m not talking about “fame” or anything like that! I just meant having some sort of e-community to count on. For once, size really DOESN’T matter.
All the things we could learn if we just learned that everything worth having takes some time. Well said miss lady!
Thank you, darlin!
Gofahne´s last blog ..LOVE Harder
Yup. It takes time.
It was a weird transition for me…to go from having a LOT of readers and interaction on Myspace (Because I blogged there for over 2 years) to step into a whole new world of bloggers and slowly build up my readership.
I have a voice. It’s just a matter of being heard and hearing others.
So glad I heard you loud and clear though!
<3
Emphasis on the “loud,” right?
PQ´s last blog ..I Have Yet to Catch a Fly but…
Where are my emails like this?! I am even going to be on a blogger conference panel about finding your blogger voice.
I was so like you in high school, except even lamer. I’ve definitely come into my own.
No denying that, ladyfriend. And I LOVE it.
Kristina P.´s last blog ..Going Dog Wild
WAIDDDAMINNNIITTT….
“You see, I was part of a group… and we had the “funny” friend. The “tomboy” friend. The “boy-crazy” one, the “good-at-sports” one and the “smart” one.”
You were in the BABYSITTER’S CLUB?!?!?!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh god, I wish!
“… crying in your e-closet.” I love it.
I thought it appropriate.
Summer´s last blog ..Two Parties Down, One More To Go
I love these tips, especially the WRITE part. I should get on that.
You should, my love!
The gay boy at a Texan high school reference still has me rolling. That and the Saved By The Bell reference. It’s one of my guiltiest pleasures. I wake up early every weekday morning to get me a dose of Zach and Kelly (or Slater, if you prefer) before I start my day.
I KNOW. I hate that I work at 8 instead of 9 now because I miss it!
Sounds about right to me. Great post.
Thank you, lover.
That Kind of Girl´s last blog ..TKOG Who crashes the party
lol gotta love awkward 7th gradeness. I think that should be a new blog series
Oh, if I could get ahold of my old journals, I could start a whole new BLOG with them.
Julie Q´s last blog ..The Invention of a Single Man’s Paper Heart.
my blogging voice may not be sexy, but like an ugly dildo or a poorly-lubed handy, it still gets the job done.
I may have to salt you for that comment.
I was determined to marry Zack Morris when I was about 8 years old. Then I heard a rumor he died and I almost cried. But it was just a rumor, thank God.
Oh, he’s alive and well and rocking it on some form of Law & Order, isn’t he?
Christy´s last blog ..Can’t the ground just be level?!?
When I read “Maybe you should all send me junior high pictures of yourselves so I feel better.” my mind instantly pictured the very worst school picture I have ever had taken, I think it was 7th or 8th grade. It was sooo awful. Should we post those? I don’t think I could.
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES.
RondaMarie´s last blog ..Profile of a frigid bitch
Ahhhh teenage angst. How I don’t miss it. AT ALL.
You boring? Really??? I don’t see it.
*wipes brow*
PHEW.
Marie´s last blog ..Review: Texts From Last Night
Brilliant advice and definitely some I will take! Having abandoned my blog for a while I obviously lost some of my readers and I’m finding it difficult to get back on track…I shall get there though! I think the most bizarre thing is my top viewed post is a TMI (maybe that’s what my readers want!? Hehe). x
People pretend to hate it, but it’s like a car wreck… you just. must. LOOK
jen – tsk´s last blog ..Ode To…You…I guess!?
Okay here’s my Evoice;
I quit my blog; My Sunshine and started a brand new blog so nobody could find me. My life has done a fucking U turn and I felt I needed a new start – a new voice.
So here it is – My Life, In boxes http://mylife-inboxes.blogspot.com/
I hope everyone who reads this comment clicks on that link and shows you their support. xoxo
Heather´s last blog ..Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow
You always know the right things to say, that’s what I love about your blog voice. Also, how you can incorporate polygamy, the Kardashians, and a strange Zack and Slater love reference. It’s fascinating yet disturbing.
“It’s fascinating yet disturbing” should totally be my tagline.
I have to say, in my own nostalgic look-back on “coming into my own”, growing into my nose and moon face is the top of my list.
God-damn all those terrible pictures from the early 90′s! God-damn the medicine I took that made my nose spread!! Argh…..
*sigh* I am not 100% over the trauma yet. Or the proof that goes along with that time period
Or even GETTING one’s period.
What?
I often feel like my blog (much like most of my life) is kind of directionless. Sometimes I find it incredibly frustrating. Thanks for the sage (but hilarious!) words.
Just because something seems random doesn’t mean it’s not okay… at least, I certainly have to believe that…
Vie´s last blog ..What I want out of a relationship
I needed to read this. I started my blog a year ago and I found myself trying to write like others…thinking that was how I write. I’ve realized that and am really trying to find my own voice, my own point of view and my own writing style. It’s difficult…but it is an excellent exercise and is helping me in other areas of my life. You just made me feel a little better about it all. I’m not patient about it but now I realize, it’s just going to take some time…to settle into myself.
Believe me, I am the least patient person IN THE WORLD. So basically this entire post is enormously hypocritical. I hope it helps nonetheless.
Such a great post!! Every day I feel like I’m finding my blogging voice a little more… but like my real life voice – I’m not sure it will ever be clear… (I got that smoker’s phlegm thing goin on)
I know that cough well. Trust me, you’ll shake it.
carissajaded´s last blog ..My many faces
I bet your 7th grade self never thought it would be a guidance counselor. I’m shaking uncontrollably remember 7th grade. Yuck!
A NERDY guidance counselor, though. So that I might have believed…
Nikki´s last blog ..Dinner with the Cougs
It is a bit like dating! I’m so glad we don’t have to be monogamous though. You can have as many as you want on your blogroll. Like a giant orgy or something!
You get me. You really get me.
I cannot believe that you were boring..ever. Thanks for the advice. I feel like my blog is just a bunch of random crap but slowly I’m trying to turn it. =)
There’s nothing wrong with random, and it sure ain’t crap, my dear!
Nickie´s last blog ..Fam[ily].
You want a 7th grade picture? You got it.
http://kate-growthspurt.blogspot.com/2009/12/memoir-monday.html
Look at all of my nerdy sadness and then we can cry about our 7th grade emotional scars together.
*sings* Lean on me, when you’re not strong…
kate´s last blog ..I’ve had the Prince song "Seven" in my head ever since I started writing this…
I have found my voice (it actually took almost a year) and some have gravitated toward it and others have run screaming or puking. But it is my voice. Hang or go, what ever blows your skirt up.
And I can now sleep at night knowing someone else in the world thought those two were…uh…strange…um…joined at the hips…ah shit – GAY.
You gotta do you.
Oh seventh grade. What we didn’t know then was that everyone wanted to be in that closet crying.
However, I find it hard to believe you were boring. I call bullshit on that. You may have thought it, but I doubt it was ever true.
I bet my mother disagrees, too. I seem to also recall being a bit of a, what’s the word… HANDFULL.
emily´s last blog ..mission accomplished
Blogging is still very new to me and this was the kick in arse that I needed. However, there will be no sharing of my grade school photos. My mid (er, late- damnit) 20s awkwardness is more than enough.
Yeah. I lied a little about having grown into my nose.
I think I found my voice with the new blog honestly. My old blog (R.I.P) was really scattered posts. Lately I have been goofing around with different types of posts but for the most part, I think my voice stays constant now-a-days.
I would agree 110%.
Matt´s last blog ..Whats in a name
Frankly, I’m looking for the Slater to my Zack. I could do with some of that caramel pseudo-Mexican ethnicity in my life…
AHAHAHAHAHAHA
So very well put. I’ve been writing my blog for almost three years, and when I go back and read my old stuff I’m not surprised that I had so few readers! It definitely takes time, effort and figuring out ones voice through trial and error (fortunately there’s the “delete” button for those really horrendous errors).
Trial and error for sure. More error than trial in the beginning… ugh. <3
Georgia´s last blog ..Community College Memories
Fabulous. I’m in the process of finding my said “e-voice” and it’s a struggle. Thankfully I have found a few fabulous blogs to inspire me
As far as a junior-high photo, I don’t see that happening. Being from Canada, I don’t even know which grades are equivalent to being junior-high ones. I do know that there was a special time where I was so socially awkward and cursed with puberty that I hated life. Ugh.
Yup. That would be the time I’m referring to… it’s universal.
Such a great post, lady. Thoroughly enjoyed this one.
I’ve spent my entire career crafting my voice to fit into certain styles of communications, i.e., press releases, news articles, feature stories, bios, corporate announcements, etc. My blog is the one place where I can, 100 percent, without apology or explanation, assert MY voice, at whatever pitch, tone, rhythm, or frequency I want. It’s a great freedom to discover and nourish. Thank you for doing your part to encourage that.
I love your frequency. xoxo
Hannah´s last blog ..The chinks in my suit of armor.
Hey, there’s nothing wrong with polygamy.
Why, yes, I DID just finish watching the last season of Big Love on DVD. How did you guess?
I think I’m about to start it. After this post, how could I not?
I would tots send you a pic of me in middle school, but I burned them with my retainer. 0_o
I think I still HAVE my retainer somewhere. *nerd alert*
danielle´s last blog ..Author Interview: Foz Meadows, author of Solace and Grief
Love you or hate you? Does anyone really hate you? Your posts read so that it feels like we’re right there listening to you talk, and you radiate a certain joy too. I’m not surprised you have so many adoring fans.
*blushing furiously*
From you especially, my dear, that is a most fabulous compliment. Thank you so much.
Steam Me up, Kid´s last blog ..I’m too sexy for my penis
This post makes you just like Steve’s mom, a virtual e-cookie.
That totally just warmed my heart.
In the words of Ray J “thanks for keepin’ it 100″ in the blogosphere. When I started blogging I had no idea what I was doing but I am glad that I took the time to figure it out because it has made all the difference. I never knew that I would find such a great group of people that I love online. I love blogs like yours because you say many of the things that I choose not to on my blog, simply because there isn’t enough time in the day, but I get to let more of my real self out when I leave comments.
And I love that you do- I love having you here!!
Kimberly@PrettyPinkMomma´s last blog ..True Story Tuesday – Benji Say What?!!
Great post!
Thanks dear!
in seventh grade i had glasses AND braces AND dressed bad. triple threat!! plus, ive not only had several brazilians but i now get laser hair removal. all that has to count for something, right?
It has to even out in the end. IT HAS TO.
yourstrulydear´s last blog ..sunday…thats my fun day…
Love the blogging/polygamy metaphor. It’s Big Love over here!
I feel like I need to watch it now.
nikki´s last blog ..Read This Book!
Great advice!
Thanks love.
Wonderful´s last blog ..I love being a kid
So you are basically saying, ‘if you write it, they will come’? What?
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS best. movie reference. EVER
eric´s last blog ..Edgy Guitar Playing and Ice (Sono Incapace Suonare la Chitarra)
Okay, so you’ve covered finding your voice…. now how do you decide on a NAME?….
What’s the story behind “Livit, Luvit”?
Ha! That seems like it would be much more interesting than it actually is. Still, another post, another day…
I made the decision a few months ago to make myself a part of the “blogging community”. Started hardcore like a month ago. And posts like these keep popping up to show me how, and remind me to stay focused. I’m still the loser kid from 7th grade though. Lots of growing left to do. It’s nice to be reminded that the greats were there at some point too.
Love this line: I was like a gay boy at a Texan high school with no musical theater program through which to find my true calling.
Day 2 of reading the awesomeness.
Your adolescent experience sounds very similar to mine. Although mine went on until I was about 22…
Paula´s last blog ..CHEER-ME-UP-TUESDAY: WELCOME BACK!!!
i really truly appreciate this post my friend. so wise.
alexa – cleveland’s a plum´s last blog ..electronic displays of affection
Amen. I found my voice and it annoys some, but I don’t care because it doesn’t annoy you, and we had brunch which is the same as a handy. Or something. I DONT KNOW.
I love you muffin.
Elizabeth Marie´s last blog ..Blog B-Day Giveaway #2-Mandizzle!
i can’t stop laughing at maxie
hanako66´s last blog ..I have dreams of orca whales and owls
I love you for the simple fact you posted the video of Zach and Slater. That’s all that needs to be said
Aloha Toni!´s last blog ..I see your relaxation and raise you an elephant trek
Good post.
Can I add to it? This blogging thing… it’s like exercise. You have to do the work, get ye to the gym, fatigue those muscles, get STRONG. Then you can go around grunting and striking that strong-man pose. I mean, IF YOU WANT TO.
But – if you stop going to the gym (blogging), don’t be surprised at how fast those muscles with atrophy and then you’ll barely be able to get from the easy chair to the toilet. Well, that might have been a bad example.
What I mean is this… I had blogged for a few years and it was going pretty well. I had lots of visitors. Then life got crazy and I took a year off and I’m over here atrophying on the easy chair! hahah I gotta start from scratch and build it all back, and that can be kind of frustrating.
But I did learn from going away that I loved it and I missed it and so I sort of feel like Dorothy at the end of that crazy-ass Oz movie. If ever I’m seeking my heart’s content, I’ll never go wandering beyond my own blog again! Well, except when I come to visit yours. (Which I do regularly these days!)
JustLinda´s last blog ..Head, shoulders, knees and toes (knees and toes)
I’m still looking for my voice but at the same time I feel like it’s there and I just don’t want to admit it. It’s like when I finally admitted what my talent is. I wanted it to be dancing or theater or something that makes people go “ooooo” but it’s not and that’s ok because it’s still mine and unique to me.
Thanks for posting this. Great advice.
Lovely Saved By The Bell references. Ah. Memories…
Very true words here my friend.
the the h-job under the e-table…that is down right funny!
Danon´s last blog ..FOUND IT
Dear God—Spicy Tuna Roll is now all over my computer screen. Serves me right while trying to ingest anything while reading your blog.
*wipes seaweed bits off keyboard*
Tiffani´s last blog ..I lack the Sixth Sense?
Great advice, sissy. Love it.
Jen´s last blog ..Thankful Tuesday
thanks, i needed that
and you are the shit, in case you are wondering.
RachelSmiles´s last blog ..get in my closet! (pt 2)
I all ready found my voice; blunt, a bit manic, and more than a little inappropriate? Perfect.
That video MADE MY LIFE. I think I need to come out of the bromance closet now. Stay tuned for that one.
Kendall´s last blog ..On Friendship
My 7th grade picture is up on my blog all the time (no REALLY), so… you’re welcome?
Man, what is the deal with 7th graders and closets? I stuffed mine with pillows and hung my art class masterworks on the walls. It was like a mini-opium den, except instead of smoking opium I, like, wrote in my journal and listened to Top 40 radio and cried.
Glad you’ve come out of the closet! Metaphorically speaking.
I think this was great. When I look back I still don’t know which one I was, I wasn’t the sporty one, girly one, blah blah blah. But I decided to brazen it out as “Heck ya, I get to have it All that’s why I don’t have a label.” Then eventually, I believed it and realized it’s true. I wasn’t the girly one or the brain, but I had some of it all. So see, you weren’t boring. You were just too talented to be given one label.
ok, so if we were a little boring to some people too, who cares. we rock now and probably did then too.
BTW love the blog. so glad I stumbled onto it not too long ago.
Kandace´s last blog ..Homecoming, Good Smells, and Mullets
I’m sorry it has taken awhile to get back to your blog. I had a record high of 522 posts in my reader this morning. And four and a half hours I was still at 520. With hubby out of town a few nights, I can stay up and read and comment and get caught up.
Thanks for this post. I’m at the six month mark and struggling. However, I’ve heard that if I press through it will be worth it. I have to laugh at Saved By The Bell….just watched Raising the Bar with an Older Mark.
In 7th Grade, I had two friends — who were twins, so essentially I had one friend (with a seriously ugly shadow).
Now, hundreds of visitors read my blog on a daily basis. That kinda tastes like sweet popularity revenge. With an appetizer of “Just Try to Find Me on Facebook, Mean Girls!” Stew.
Mel´s last blog ..Penis Tuesday
Love this clip! Funniest thing I’ve seen today!
I could so picture us as friends in junior high (though I never had that, just elementary school). I was the one who got made fun of all the time, I feel we could have bonded haha. Definitely love your advice — it takes a while to develop that voice, but I know I want it to represent me 100%. And putting a ‘Saved by the Bell’ clip makes your entry awesome ALWAYS.
Nikolett´s last blog ..100th post + giveaway!
blogging totally is like polygamy, i can’t believe i never thought of that before. it’s like one long episode of ‘big love’ really, haha.
katelin´s last blog ..Hollywoodopolos.
That was very rousing… and educational!
I think what it boils down to is… if you want to have a voice, you need to shout?
Just make sure it’s not the crazed, deluded shouting of a madman. But even then, that can work… if that’s the kind of voice you want to have.
Something about being heard over the clamour of the Internet…
Sebastian´s last blog ..Crocgasm
I’m not sending you a photo, but can I just say…camo pants. And not the cool kind you buy at Hot Topic? The kind your Korean War vet grandpa buys you at the PX. Yeah. I was that kid. I’m pretty sure middle school is where you either go home crying every day or learn to bottle up all our emotions and spring them on people only when you’re older (read: good and drunk), like one of those snakes in a can…TWSS.
I’m just glad you didn’t lock yourself in the bathroom and cry until someone let you sing the songs from the musical you were in. Trust me, I knew that girl. And 12-year-olds should not reenact Les Mis.
I’ll admit, I was sort of hoping the youtube clip was the “buddy bands” episode.
Or,
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this, Lilu… not for us.” (Um, I just referenced the picnic table prom scene when Kelly broke up with Zach for that waiter/manager guy Jeff, who worked at the Max.)
Look at you and your 100 comments. You ARE a Kardashian…only MUCH prettier and more interesting! ^_^
Oh LiLu, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways…
That video is awesome! Even more awesome? Including Screech as the third in a love triangle!
Lindsay´s last blog ..The Pregnancy Pact: A Tale for the Ages
I think I love you for the Saved By the Bell references alone. It also doesn’t hurt that you just completely kick ass.
i used to worry and think about finding my voice. i think i’ve successfully found one. especially when i’m willing and able to sit down and actually WRITE. write what’s in my head, write what someone else’s words has inspired in my head, all that stuff.
a friend of mine asked me why i blog. and the question hardly even computed with me. it’s just so… natural. i think i spouted off something like connecting with people and staying all caught up and whatnot, but really, the question surprised me. i guess i’ll really have to think on that for a while.
cari´s last blog ..a rare breed…
I think this is by far one of your best posts as of yet-It’s so truthful, but it’s exciting truthful with a LiLu spin
I have blocked out ALL of 7th grade. It’s amazing really. I can’t even remember the names of my friends for that one year.
This is excellent advice. Particular the “take risks” part. Me, being the non-risk-taker that I am often find my “voice” lacking.
A Super Girl´s last blog ..A bloggeriffic weekend!
Very true!!! I think your specific voice is very inspiring so I look forward to continue reading your blogs.
Lady´s last blog ..Thunderstorm
wonderful advice my dear!
but… i really love the fact that steve’s mom gave you a cookie
I don’t understand how you can call this your “little mess” of a corner. You have the biggest blog following of anyone that I read, so your little mess is kind of big.
This is a great post. I found some inspiration in it (especially the part where Slater gives Zack his heart), and judging by the mountain of comments you’ve gotten already, other people think the same thing.
(pee ess – In 7th grade I was “the weird one” in my group of friends.)
SillyJaime´s last blog ..Still love me?
throughout highschool and college, i used to either get bonus points or demerits on essays, because the teacher could always hear my “voice” in my writing. apparently some professors appreciate that, and some feel that a paper comparing 15th century french poetry shouldn’t sound like it’s being read out loud by an 18 yr old girl. WHATEVER.
So, for all the deep and insightful things that were in this post… I’m stuck on picturing what my pictures of junior high looked like and now I’m probably gonna have nightmares. Ew.
I don’t think that was supposed to be the take-away message….
Dude…. I looked much like I look now, back in 7th grade. But even more shy. It was scary. Also, I was part of that same group (but different location, of course)…. and then I grew up, became not-so-sheltered and found a sense of myself I happen to like, and people seem to like, too. You just have to wait for it…
As far as my blog goes….it’s not a place for me to be heard, it’s just a place for me to get my creativity out into the world…I don’t worry about where any of it is going. I’ve been doing it for quite some time, and never became popular or anything…but I am totally fine with that. Once a blog becomes desperate for readers/subscribers etc….they lose sight of why you should be writing in the first place. Write for the mere joy of getting your thoughts and feelings out, not because you are wanting to fit into some niche. That’s my philosophy, anyway.
Jen´s last blog ..Look Mom, I’m Nosey!
I always get intimidated commenting on blogs that have more than 100 comments on any one post. But I figured what the hey. I blog. I have five followers. WOAH. I’ve pretty much Made It, I think.
I don’t have a ‘voice’.
i get what you’re sayin’ about finding your e-voice and shit. but what i like about you (and what i like about me) – is that we’re not limited to *one* kind of voice. you can wax just about any kind of writing, and that’s what’s the coolest part. diversity. not being able to pinpont/define your style is rad. (god, i’ve noticed i use the word ‘rad’ a lot lately – gots to find me a replacement word. and soon).
ExMi´s last blog ..Things I Learnt From Hanging Out In a Dodgy Pool Bar
It’s only sortve recently that I’ve really paid any attention to comments on blogs (either leaving them or reading those left by others). I’ve found a bunch of really cool blogs from clicking the linky on a comment that made me laugh.
It helps to have some idea of what “works” for other people so I appreciate what you’ve said. You seem to have the right idea and your blog is all sorts of awesome. (And so are you!)
MsDarkstar´s last blog ..Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here…
I too used to think I was boring and that no one would want to read my blog. But then I discovered “Denial,” and ever since then everything has been very positive.
Tom @ Sophisticated Lunacy´s last blog ..Stupid Is As Stupid Does
Great advice. I think you’ve certainly found your voice, your comedic wit and an adoring audience.
The Peach Tart´s last blog ..Things You Can Learn About Sex From A Pen
Write on!
[F]oxymoron´s last blog ..Men, Women, Nipples… And Baby Stuff
Voice is so, so hard. The fact that yours comes across so easily is definitely an achievement.
Love the video. It made me giggle.
Okay, WOW. Like, a lot of wow. Firstly, wow on the Brokeback by the Bell thing. That totally made my day (yesterday). Secondly, wow on the fact that you are like, ON FIRE lately, what with all the Love Harder stuff and now this incredible post about finding your voice. Thirdly, wow on how friggin’ hilarious you can be even when you’re getting all serious on our asses.
Just wow.
Tabitha´s last blog ..J&T Gchat Archives #1
Yeah, I look back at my early blog posts and I’m like, “Who the hell is that dork?” Even though I don’t write a personal blog, I still wasn’t being completely myself. Once I started being myself, I got people who loved me and people who called me all kinds of names and accused me of being mean-spirited. But hey, when I’m writing about the Puppy Bowl or the Puppy Cam or something involving puppies and maybe pandas and unicorns, I can be all fuzzy and sweet. But Tila Tequila? She doesn’t deserve my fuzzy sweetness. She would probably just get herpes all over it.
Sorry, this comment got away with me. And that is the truest test that I was totally being myself here. I never met a pointless tangent I didn’t like.
BeckEye´s last blog ..Eye Boogers
BeckEye Reply:
January 27th, 2010 at 12:18 pm
FROM me. That comment got away FROM me.
BeckEye´s last blog ..Eye Boogers
I love this post! It makes me feel far less dorky about my new-ish-ly found obsession with the blogging world.. Great advice, girl!
You Fucking ROCK! I love your ‘voice’ because it IS so genuine, and HILARIOUS.
meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Everyone Needs A Little Evelyn!
Nice post! I think you’ll reach a lot of people with this message, which is awesome.
SoMi’s Nilsa´s last blog ..Inspiration
Great advice! And you are definitely a great source for blogging tips, since you average about a 100 comments/post.
Pauline´s last blog ..Pain in the Butt-Part II
It’s hard to believe you were anything but what you are now. Ridicously hilarious.
Like you said we all grow/grow into things…I like to think I grew in my forehead. It used to be helipad…nothing bangs can’t solve
Ela´s last blog ..Shabby Apple Giveaway
Nice post. I agree with the points that you made – your “voice” isn’t something that can be fabricated… it’s just part of who you are. The more you write, the more it emerges like a beautiful butterfly from a cocoon… or something.
I find that my blog is my outlet to say things more eloquently than I’d ever say them while speaking aloud. I have a naughty tendency to say “Like, um. So, yeah. I’m not gonna lie… seriously” when I really mean to recite the Preamble to the Declaration of Independence. I think it’s because my brain works a lot faster than my mouth (which… must be SUPER fast because I am told I also talk fast – and too much. Meh. Whatever.) and I need filler words to give my mouth the chance to catch up.
My blog actually started because I found my childhood diaries at my parents’ house around Christmas. They are generally hilarious, and I wanted to share with the world. But, really that’s my “gimmick,” and eventually I’ll run out of diary entries, so I incorporate actual blogging into it. I usually write about whatever is on my mind at the moment, whatever it is. Silly shit, mostly, but it’s getting my creative juices flowing since I am now trying to do some freelance writing. Ew, juices.
Also? RE: The person who would hide in their closet, pretending to be E.T.? Awesome. I used to take my mom’s brown leather gloves and put them on my feet so I could pretend I was E.T. …. with pigtails.
Simply T´s last blog ..Very Very Very Very Very Very….
I’m new to the blogging world, but I’d like to say that this post is fabulous. You are SO right about putting yourself out there. I was scared to death at first to share my blog with people. I finally decided, what the hey, I don’t really care what people think about me anyway, so if they don’t like my blog, they don’t have to read it! Thanks for making me laugh out loud at work everyday and making my coworkers think I’m just a little crazy
Miss L.A.´s last blog ..January 27th, 2010: Hot Toddy & Music for the Soul
I have the great privilege of blogging with my Slater, but she doesn’t wear hammer pants. Ah ha ha
Kristin´s last blog ..Floral Fusion
You were very grown up in this post. All wise and sharing your grown up wisdom with everyone and shit!
Lovely post girly!
Adrienzgirl´s last blog ..SPECIAL PREMIER
Sometimes I think I should carry around a digital recorder…. so much funny shit happens to me on a daily basis and I always want to blog about it, but then I forget…. that and I am afraid that if I really speak my mind I will offend everyone!!!
So I tend to water down my posts…. The devil on my shoulder wants to just say fuck it and type what I want, but the angels in my head always shout back my better demons*.
*that is a line from the west wing… I love it
Woolly´s last blog ..City Bound?
The Video was too funny. The advice was nice too. I have no interest in growing my blog, I just write it for me. I use it as a journal and a place to vent my frustrations. It has helped ME tremendously. I get to get things off of my chest that I can’t in my ‘real’ world and writing it down just makes it feel good, my little way of exploding without really exploding on anyone. It is not a total VENT blog but it is just a ‘Day in the Life’ and it helps me release!
Lucy´s last blog ..Good News!!!! And Some Laughter Too!
I can’t decide if my favorite part of this post is that it includes Saved by the Bell, that you actually dared to discuss middle school which was a minefield for 99% of the world or that you’re just so darn awesome and right. You can’t meet others if you don’t put yourself out there
Nora´s last blog ..Pet Peeves: The Gym Edition
So true, you just have to barrel through until you find a way to write that feels absolutely like yourself.
Kyla Roma´s last blog ..Friday is for…{Recipes: Yam Fries & French Onion Soup}
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I wish I had started blogging in my twenties. It would have done a lot for my confidence. Although – it may have also created a forum for excessive over sharing and future embarrassment…
When I started over a year ago (at age 36) I think I already had a voice. And I don’t think it’s changed much since then. Unfortunately – it’s rather erractic voice and undeclared as far as “blog majors” go. But then those late bloomers always seemed to end up making the big bucks later on right? Right…?
This is the best thing ever and since we’re doing this whole celebrity lookalike thing on facebook, you should know I posted a photo of Jesse Spano. It’s true.
Kathleen´s last blog ..The World’s Ugliest Gym
every time i’ve tried to stick to a theme, style or any other reliabilty, i have failed. as such, i write whatever i want, whenever i want. and i totally have, like, two followers. haaaaaaaaaaaaa! oh well, i’m writing for meeeee. this is good advice. i, for one, enjoy your blog because you crack me up. there’s enough serious shit going on in life that the break is welcome.
casey´s last blog ..Friday Thoughts
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