…was, undoubtedly, the “Jersey Shore Drinking Game”.
Let me ‘splain.
Perhaps you’ve been living under a rock and don’t know about MTV’s newest reality television abomination. I’ll forgive you if you’ve been too busy watching Always Sunny, as they are on at the same time, but believe me when I say that you MUST find a way to watch this absolute trainwreck of bright orange, over-gelled…
Well, honestly, I can’t even describe it. Let me just show you…
Apologies for the ad at the beginning… but it’s worth it.
Okay. So, all of us fabulous people are hanging out at the Holiday Happy Hour last Friday (unbelievably fabulous time, FYI- thanks so much to everyone for coming out!!!), when suddenly, the two magic words that can bring any group of people together instantaneously are mentioned…
JERSEY. SHORE.
Within seconds, we’re swapping our favorite most vomit-inducing moments, arguing over who’s the worst person in the house, and ribbing on brad for even BEING from Jersey. The shame.
And then, it happened. The magical words fell from Patrick’s mouth, one by one…
“We should create a Jersey Shore drinking game!”
Lightbulbs LIT-RALLY appeared over each one of our heads, and the insanity commenced as we all started yelling over one another. Out of the plethora of ideas, we eventually settled on this very thoughtful and decidedly offensive-but-still-less-offensive-than-the-show-itself list.
I give you…
The “Jersey Shore” Drinking Game
While watching the show, you must DRINK when…
1. Any time one of them says OR does a “fist pump”
2. Any time a girl proclaims her pride for being a true “guidette”
3. Whenever Mike refers to himself as “The Situation”
4. Any time a guy slathers 25% of a bottle of gel on his head
5. Whenever the utter importance of “PROTEIN” is mentioned, or a protein shake is consumed
6. Any time someone brags about their spray tan, goes spray tanning, or just looks so orange that you are forced to look away from the television
7. Anytime Sammi talks about how sweet she is, or refers to herself as “Sammi Sweetheart”
8. Whenever someone refers to cheating on a significant other back home
9. Any time someone in the house accidentally calls Snookie “Snickers”
10. Any time Ronnie uses the phrase “pound out” in reference to a woman
11. Any time Mike expresses insane jealousy over the fact that Ronnie is pounding out Sammi instead of him
12. Any time someone gets in the jacuzzi naked
Oh, man… I cannot WAIT for Thursday.
Update: Oh. Em. GEE.
I just found this, and HAD to add it…
You are WELCOME.
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I can’t stop laughing at this show. It’s absolutely hilarious. (I’ve seen a few of these in Cleveland. It ain’t all at the Jersey Shore.)
Ohmigod. I’m going to play this tonight.
MTV won’t let Canadians watch that video.
Or…Canada has banned the consumption of guido-content.
Either way, I’m sort of thankful.
sounds amazing. i’m so sad i missed HH. dont hate me :-/
in other news i got your holiday card and i loves it!
Patrick Reply:
December 15th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Look at what you missed!
Don’t hate me but I didn’t know what Jersey Shore is until last week. I feel old.
Also I got your card and it is adorable!! Thanks lady!
I think I’m going to impliment this game at Christmas this year. I’m married to this reality – minus the naked jacuzzi stuff. I’ll bring the video camera. Getting drunk this way will be so much more fun than just sneaking off to the bathroom for shots with my sister-in-law. Thanks for sharing the game!
For the first time, I watched part of that [freak] show last night. Dude, you are going to be so wasted so fast.
I’m sad I missed out! Sounds like a very productive time was had by all…
It’s opportunities like these that I’m sad I don’t have cable.
Awesome game! My favorite is when they call Snooki Snickers. haha
On another note when I was in college my friend and I tried to play a drinking game while watching The Osbournes, which was on at the time. We were suppose to drink whenever someone cussed. Needless to say I was shitfaced after 32 seconds.
Gotta love the pit stains on Vinnie…way to go Guido
LOOOOL. I’ve never seen a guido apart from on pictures, this is scary shit. Pride themselves in tanning beds, gel and protein? Seriously, they pride themselves in like, cheating with everything. Nice.
So in other words, you’re going to be drunk really fast.
So, um, I just watched that clip. Holy are you even effing kidding me?!
Damn my television for not airing this! I’ve gotta find somewhere I can watch it. Damnit.
Shit, you won’t have time to BREATHE between shots!!
I watched the entire two-hour premiere in utter shock and if I play this drinking game while I watch, I will be SCHMAMMERED.
It’s so bad. But my god…I can’t stop watching it.
this is brilliant.
fist pump!
i saw a ton of jersey shore-esque folks this weekend in the cleve i think because of this show they feel like they can come out of hiding and be proud guidos!
Sheer genius. Drinking peeps inventing a drinking game! Woot!
That is my husband’s new fave show. We’ll have to play this game haha!
I might watch it just for the drinking game.
Sorry we missed the Happy Hour…I was definitely disappointed but traffic and all that
<3
I’m just going to go the quick route and get plastered without having to watch this shit.
Cut out the middle guidette, if you will.
That’s it I am off to win this game by fist pumping my way through…just watched The Soup with Joel McHale on E! where he made fun of the fist pumping on Jersey Shore. Hilarious. Great post sweetie and I challenge you over and over. JK I would lose after one drink!
This show embarrasses me as a Italian. Why can’t MTV show videos?
Dude. I totally want to do this now. This show is so ridiculous that I don’t even know where to begin…except to say that drinking games are awesome. Some friends I once did a similar thing with the Mormon General Conference and drank every time they said “Joseph Smith” or “family” or “testimony.”
In other words you will be wasted on Thursday night b/c that shit will be happening constantly. That is my kind of drinking game.
We once made up a drinking game called Shit Balls. I don’t really remember all the rules but it was simple (b/c that is necessary while drinking) and you had to proclaim “Shit Balls!” everytime before you drank. We got wasted. Weird.
this is genius!
I just caught onto this magical trainwreck last week. 499 different kinds of WTF? However, I would definitely participate in a drinking game pertaining to it.
i love/hate this show too, but it has to be said, none of the housemates are FROM new jersey, and if i remember the 1st episode right none of them had BEEN to the shore before. so wrong. these people are authentic douchebags, but not authentic new jerseyans.
also i can’t wait to see snickers get punched in the face. merry christmas im going to hell.
the boyfriend and i tried to do this the first week, and the only rule was that we had to drink whenever someone said “guido” or any variation thereof. ten minutes in, he turned to me and said, “i can’t do this anymore. i’m going to be sick. i haven’t put my drink down in the last ten minutes.”
great success.
so bummed i missed the happy hour! sounds like y’all had fun…can’t WAIT to play this drinking game on thurs.
I just saw this show for the first time this weekend. I really wish my husband were a guido.
I couldn’t watch the first video, which is probably a good thing (As Ben already mentioned) LOL.
But I can still see pictures of some of the painted orange fools. Hahah..how can they think they look good?
No. Just…. no… Dear lord, no.
I just died a little on the inside by finding out this show exists. But thank you for the laughter! I think I owe about 25 drinks just from watching the little snippet.
I don’t know whether or not I’m proud or mortified that first guy came out of Rhode Island.
And did you check out the pit stains on Vinny?
Also all those girls scare me.
I’m kind of glad I don’t have cable.
I want to be on that show SO BADLY.
Jaime Reply:
December 14th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Oh sweetheart, you aren’t tan enough.
That show is just ignorant. Damn. I might watch just to laugh. I need the endorphins around the holidays. The guy referring to his abs as “The Situation” just kills me.
I’m in love. And now I finally know what to do with my Mom on Christmas.
See? This is why we’re friends.
I LOVE the Jersey Shore. I mean, could it be the best show on television? Last night I hung up on my parents because it was on and I didn’t want to miss a minute.
As an Italian American, I’m SO GLAD these people really do exist.
Pure genius. I’ll be playing the drinking game on Thursday in honor of my Italian-American heritage and the fact that my cousins could totally be on this show.
This show is pretty ridiculous/amazing. I love the drinking game, but I’m not my liver could handle it.
So basically, you want me to get alcohol poisoning?
You forgot to add to pound your drink when they show J-Wowws ratty weave and take a drink everytime someone says the word “hook-up”.
Good bye liver, it was nice knowing you.
this is pretty much amazing hhaha
I can’t. Even though Sunny’s season is over, I still can’t. Believe me, I tried. I usually like really dumb shit, but this show was beyond dumb. Maybe it’s because I live too close to Jersey to think it’s funny.
Hahah, this is amazing. I only wish I could refer to myself as THE SITUATION.
“Fist pumping like a champ!” That show is absolutely ridic, but I can’t stop watching. I can’t wait to see Snookie get jacked in the face!
It’s that show that you just can’t stop watching. An effing train wreck, but you JUST. CAN’T. STOP.
Terrible!
I kind of LOVE Sammi Sweetheart. She seems so INTELLIGENT.
Totally playing this on Thurs.
I had no idea this show existed. I don’t know whether to thank you or hate you now! ;^)
M and I have been watching this train wreak of a show. Mike calling himself the situation seriously makes me laugh, gag, and feel sick all at the same time. Gawd I can’t believe they are still able to come up with this shit, it’s amazing!
Seriously Jersey Shore is such a guilty pleasure.
My sister LOVES this show and I’m trying my hardest not to get sucked…maybe because I knew too many of these guys growing up.
Yeah gotta love Pauly D representing RI! I’m sorry but every DJ I come across in RI is DJ Pauly D!!! This show is like a bad accident. So bad but you can’t help but to keep watching.
You can catch all of the episodes at MTV.com and they also have the after show which is quite comical. Also you can add the number of times they drink Ron Ron juice to the game.
Also, I just heard that the famous Snookie gets punched is not going to be shown due the guy going to trial but you can still catch it on you tube!
So I generally try to stay away from truly awful television for fear of addicition, but I walked into my room after getting out of the shower Friday night to discover CKB watching this show and…well, there just are no words. Good luck NOT puking your guts up after playing this game!
Oh god, this makes me cry for my people.
HA, this is all shades of awesome. Also? got the xmas card. Loved it.
Thanks!
well damnit if there is a drinking game then I have to watch it I guess!
I was totes pumping my fist by the end of that song. hahahaha
Also as a Masshole it wasn’t until I drove out of state that I had to pump my gas.
this show is amazing. i love how amazingly horrible it is and that drinking game is hilarious, i’m pretty sure we’d all get trashed within five minutes of watching, haha.
I was going to say ‘we don’t get Jersey Shore here’… but from the ad that precedes the clip, it appears we do! Only problem is I don’t have foxtel that has MTV – pov, I know! Good news… Mum and Dad do, so I’ll be Jersey Shoring that mutha up while I’m staying with them over Chrissy. Kind of reminds me of some of the fa-reeeeeaks in Melbourne – big Greek and Italian community down there.
okay, i must watch this show and join in on the fun!
I need to watch this show!!!! It looks awesome.
We have those bozos here in Australia. They are Italians from Sydney and they come to the Gold Coast (where I live) every summer.
Just watched that second clip. OMG.
By those drinking game guidelines we will all be drunk within 10 minutes of the show.
Not that I am complaining.
And I decided to give this blogging thing another chance.
http://sothisismygig.wordpress.com/
I can’t stop laughing….is this for REAL? Love the game!! Love it…kind of a take off of the James Bond drinking game!!
Have fun luv!
Kelly
http://kellyberkeydesigns.blogspot.com
Isn’t it obvious? Snooki Snickers didn’t get punched in the face – she just got in the way of a Fist Pump (like a champ!! cause we don’t pump our gas we pump our fists!!).
OMG me and JWow are kindred spirits because after I have sex with a guy I totally rip his head off too!
But seriously, thank you for the clip!!! I have been trying to watch this show since you last mentioned it, but MTV was effing up. I’m from S. Jersey (yeah . . . *sigh* . . . I know) and I’ve heard about the stereotypes, but never knew it was for real. So for me this is funny and kind of cringe-worthy, but it’s a train wreck I’ll definitely be watching. Thanks for introducing me to this and Intervention, lol.
Can I just say I am both from Jersey and Italion and this show is just plain insulting? (and is it wrong for me to love it so, so much?)
I swore I would never watch that show but now that I have a drinking game….bring it on.
I can’t believe I just lost seven minutes of my life watching that clip.
I also can’t believe how friggin’ awesome that drinking game is. You guys should trademark that shit.
that pretty much sums up the entire show…i too was connected instantly with old friends this weekend over the jersey shore. it’s the show that pulls people together.
Oh my god. Since Sunny just ended (tear) this can be my excuse to convince my boyf to watch this show with me. So sinfully addictive. I’ve only seen the first episode, but apparently someone’s getting punched in the face soon? The entire thing is hysterical. I thank MTV for such comedy gold.
OMG I will have that song stuck in my head forever..and just when I’ll have forgotten it, I’ll be pumping gas and wishing I was pumping my fist.
Oh my gosh, I haven’t seen this show. I live under a big stinkin’ rock. Well, I’ve heard of it, I just haven’t seen it. Now I’m not so sure I should, LOL.
China won’t let me watch this video.
Why the hell do I even live here?
Sweet baby Jesus I must play this and immediately be ready to puke or pass out by the end of the hour.
I have NEVER been so embarrassed to be from New Jersey, and I shit you NOT, that show is REALLY what it IS like at the Jersey Shore! No wonder why I hate the beach!!
i’ve yet to watch an episode of the jersey shore…and i don’t think i want to. apparently, everyone who watches is addicted. in such a love/hate manner.
Thank you, Lilu, once again for making my night!
I caught the first episode by accident really, channel surfing and don’t know if I’m more in shock or just have to watch the catastrophe because they remind me of 2 friends and their various dates.
The clip is too much! Situation? Really?
I agree with amanda, love/hate completely!
Right after passing out from shock and laughter!
HOLY CRAP. I can’t believe how absurdly tan some of those people are! I mean, REALLY??? Man….that’s so awesome. I love it!
Oh, Sunny most def takes precedence but I always find Jersey Shore reruns later. And OMG the fist pumpin’ anthem. DYING!
Wooooooow.
I bet by the time that show is over, ya’ll are shnoppered(and yes, that is my made up word) LOL
One of the Dinks I work at the beach with in the summer is so Jersey it hurts. It’s like being in that TV show whenever he’s around.
Lol, amazing idea for a drinking game!
My personal favourite is the Anchorman Drinking Game: one shot if he says Ron, one shot if he says Burgandy and three shots if he says Ron Burgandy …..I don’t remember what happened after the first 20mins of that film ……
Is there an over-under on how fast you get drunk playing this game? Because my guess is about 5 minutes…give or take.
Ahem. As someone FROM Jersey, and better yet, someone from the Jersey Shore, I MUST say that this show is atrocious and I will not watch one second of it. Unfortunately, it’s an accurate description of the types of people we have to put up with during the Summer.
However, because I can’t seem to avoid people around me everywhere talking about it, I sadly know what you’re talking about with each and every one of those things listed above. Damn you MTV!!
Oh. Mah. Gawd! I can’t wait to watch Jersey Shore this week so I can play your game! **fist pump**
Jesus effin christ. I will forever be dis-owning my Italian blood from this point on. I HAVE to watch now…thanks a lot.
I think the girls and I need to get together one Thursday to test and make tweaks to this game.
Hi, Thank you! I would now go on this blog every day!
Thank you
This show is very entertaining. And I hope that you and your family have a happy holiday season.
I still haven’t watched this damn show, but if/when I do, I’m definitely playing the game. Oooooooh ya, lol.
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