…is, apparently, to violently accost your friends’ and families mailboxes with an atrocity like this.
That. Just. HAPPENED.
The thing is, while hopefully this holiday abomination brought a smile to their faces, it in no way captured the journey that was this photo shoot. So now, I share this with the world…
I call it, “2 Cats 1 VeryCertainDeathofTheirOwners”.
-
- That. Just. HAPPENED.
Now, if someone could just tell me how the hell to top this next year, I would be eternally grateful.
(The cats, however, would not.)
Happy Holidays!
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GIVE ME THAT CAT.
NEVER.
Also, it offends me that you abbreviated Axe Murderer’s name.
That’s all the room it would give me, hooker! I tried!
You guys are the gayest couple I know.
Maybe that’s what you should put on it:
“Happy Holidays. From the gayest hetero couple you know.”
Your mom.
That…was the greatest Christmas present I could EVER get.
Truth.
The cats suffer in the name of art.
See, I always thought it was singing loud for all to hear. I guess I need to get out more. Love the pix!
I think it’s time for my yearly viewing of Elf.
Okay, so B’s gangsta pose looks less imposing now that I know that he was probably doing that to save his own life…oh wait, maybe that makes it more gangsta.
I’m going to need a judge’s ruling.
More. Definitely more.
Oh, and next year? VLOG the photoshoot, obviously.
We’d need a camera operator for that… I’m not sure I’m willing to let anyone see us in that state.
shine Reply:
December 15th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
I bet Maxie would volunteer.
Those poor, poor cats…they suffer for us.
That they do, my friend. That they do.
So the card was incredible, but the chronicling of the card was downright genius.
I wondered about abbreviating Axe Murderer’s name…I thought maybe you just though it was inappropriate to put the word “murderer” on a Christmas card. And then I realized it was you and there’s no such thing as “inappropriate.”
Come on, chica… you know me better than that!
M Reply:
December 15th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
When I showed CKB the card I told him about how B insists that Axe Murderer be abbreviated Murderer instead of Axe. He thought that was hysterical.
I don’t know if you *can* top that. It might be physically impossible.
It might… but I have to try.
Where are the “after” pictures? I’m sure you got some claws to the face for those stupid hats. Bah humbug.
We all came through unscathed, somehow…
Well, at least physically.
I can’t believe B let’s you do stuff like this to him.
The sweater.
The Hat.
The cats.
The picture.
That poor guy.
Love at its
finestworst.I made a Christmas cards with my kitties too. They got antler hats though! Sooo cute.
Have you seen the snuggies for dogs?? I most definitely got the small one for my kitties. They hate it now but I’m pretty sure they will grow to love it!
I have one too, courtesy of the lovely Flippy!
I get the feeling the cats are not very happy with you in those pictures. But I really can’t see why they wouldn’t be.
Next year put little reindeer antlers on them and you can be Mrs. Clause while B. is Mr. Clause in a sleigh going “mush! mush!”
I TOTALLY THOUGHT OF THAT. And possibly found a mini-sleigh online. We shall see…
Been meaning to thank you for the card. I, personally, love that Axe Murderer is now simply Axe M. Very P. Diddy.
Ha! Soon it’ll just be “Murder”.
I don’t know about anyone else, but it sure puts me in the holiday spirit when a girl elf shows us her pussy like that.
Whoa cowboy.
I might just send these out as my holiday cards. My friends probably won’t notice that it’s not me.
Or, you can be grateful when they DO realize.
i say next year you stuff the cats into boxes wrapped up like christmas presents and get a picture of each of you opening them under the tree (or next to the tree i guess) and capture the shot just when their heads peek out of the box. picture perfect!
oh, and while i normally don’t accept New movies into my christmas season Elf is definitely one of my more recent favorites!
Absolutely. It made it into my faves about two minutes in.
Amazing.
3 of my friends dressed up in tacky Christmas sweaters, did their hair all 80′s style, and made that their card. When we got it in the mail, my husband didn’t realize it was supposed to be a joke. He was all, “what the hell is wrong with them?” LOL
MAGIC SAUCE.
awww, how lovely and sweet
You are the ONLY person to describe it this way.
hahahaha those pictures are hilarious. I love posed fake-serious holiday portraits… they crack me up. especially when animals are involved!
I aim to please!
Fabulous. Just Fabulous!
Why, thank you.
I think it looks like you guys had fun. This reminds me of the hundreds of pictures we have to take with the kids to get one decent picture. When I looked at these pictures, I kept thinking oh goodness, just wait until they have kids…lol
XX Lori
Kids? What are these things you speak of?
I love it! My favorite is the one where you and B are looking lovingly at each other and the cats are looking at each other, like “On the count of 3, we’re gonna cut these bitches…ready…”
I’m sure they are still plotting.
You guys seriously kick ass!
Aw. <3
Umm we sent a very similar xmas card out except we had one cat wearing a Santa hat and the other wearing Reindeer ears. I was convinced they were going to pee in the corner to retaliate. The whole point of having a pet is to torment them by dressing them up in funny outfits…isn’t it??
Yes. Yes it is.
I passed someone in the street last night wearing exactly this outfit !!
Well, that is just amazing.
~ I’m happy for you (I think) that B looks so damn comfortable in that get up.
~ as much as Murray looks like he has no idea what’s going on and is being taken advantage of in these pics, Axe Murderess looks, well, like an ax murderer plotting their revenge. I guess that’s nature’s way of maintaining balance.
~ it’ good to see that you haven’t been starving Murray.
Did… did you just call my cat fat?
Svaha Reply:
December 15th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
I’m sure it’s all muscles of coiled steel.
haha! i love it.
Love YOU! Did yours come yet?
Love. I know this may come as a surprise, but our Christmas card may involve the Blanket with Sleeves.
This is my “shocked” face.
That may be one of the best Christmas cards I’ve ever seen. Hands down. And the sequence is priceless.
The sequence is definitely what makes it.
I’ve tried over the years to get a picture of me with Dax and Kiki, but the last attempt got me a wicked scratch on my FACE for the holidays. I told people I’d been attacked. It was awesome.
Battle scar FTW!
Ha, that’s too funny. Did you see our out takes for Xmas cards? Total beatdown!
Going to find them now…
I am loving that. Your “card’ puts mine to shame. I lit. chased my child around the house for like 30mins-hr. I dressed her in her santa jammies and was like forcing/begging/bribing her w/M&Ms to “be cute” but after an hr and 75 pics I only got 3 decent ones to use that I had to touch-up in PS. But you my dear LiLu [& B & the cats] officially WIN AT LIFE [& Christmas Cheer] ily.
Hahaha! It sounds like ours were equally eventful. Thanks hon!
My favorite is the one when you and B are ignoring the cats and lovingly looking into each other’s eyes. So sweet.
How to top it? Have a baby and add that to the mix next year. Dress it up as an elf or a mini santa or something. Perfection. 
No?
Hahaha! That one was not meant to be sarcastic at all…
Wow, not only cute overload, but a special edition of “behind the scenes at cat wrangling”.
This is just so full of win I can’t handle it!
YES!
those cats look so tortured. but most cats looked tortured all the time, i wouldn’t take it personally if i were you.
Ha!
You and B are so cute!!! LOL I love the chronicling of the whole card thing. Love it!
Thanks darlin!
The cats probably secretly love it.
Oh, trust me… they don’t.
You should have used the picture of the cat in the beer can box for a background.
You mean this one?
aaaaww, the whole family. LOVE IT!
We are just so WHOLESOME.
Hey, nice blogsnow? Or is it snoblog?
Yes, your cats will kill you now for sure.
Worth it.
That is some serious holiday spirit you have there! Awesome!
Thanks love!
My favorite one is where you are teasing Axe with the hat. HAHAHA it made me laugh in my cube.
Instant classic.
That was horrible. I’m very glad I’m not any sort of christian. Still, I have to spend hundreds apon hundreds of dollars on gifts for the people that do celebrate, and receive horrible Christmas picture cards.
I’d also like to say that B has the perfect beard. Not too short, not too long, perfect density and immaculate trim. I’m jealous.
I’m a fan, too.
this really happened? i didn’t think i could love you guys more than i already do. i can’t wait until you’re 50 and do things like this for serious…
Oh, it happened. Pictures to prove it!
Next year, you’ll need a scratch-n-sniff card. Something that smells like beef and cheese.
GENIUS.
I like the fact that you are still alive,wait till my dog sees this-he wouldn’t get out from under the bed till new year!Awesome,just awesome!
Haha! Thanks hon!
So how can I get one of these cute xmas cards to adorn in my office at work? =]
I know. I have to order more!
My favorite is the one where the cat is biting you. Definitely captures the holiday cheer.
I’ll help you top it by giving away the idea I wanted to do this year, but couldn’t get my husband to cooperate. You’ll have to subsitute cats for dogs.
2 dishtowels, 2 headbands, a blanket and some cotton balls
Me: Virgin Mary…okay just Mary
Him: Joseph
Small dog: Baby Jesus
Big dog: A sheep
Murray would definitely have to be Baby Jesus. Axe Murderer is WAY too evil for that shiz.
Murray is obviously not a slave for fashion and doesn’t understand the importance of Santa’s hat. I hope you plan on spending quality time with her on the couch watching Project Runway before next year’s photo shoot.
I know! I gave him the hat because I thought he’d be better about it! FAIL.
I don’t know, I think Maxie’s wrong. “Axe M.” is the funniest thing about that card. I lol-ed in my head about it a bit.
Love.
LOVE your christmas card!!!! Happy Holidays
Thanks love! You too.
LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So glad.
Heather Reply:
December 15th, 2009 at 11:42 am
Don’t feel bad – last year I took my dog to sit on Santa’s lap -I will have to scan and post that photo. He was the only dog in line litteraly doing backflips out of excitement to see santa. Totally embarassing.
Hahaha! Scan and post IMMEDIATELY!
When I was in 4th grade my parents attempted a picture similar to this at a mall photography place with my sister and i and our two cats. It ended with one cat biting the photographer and jetting out into the mall to be found hours later. But I feel like when they grow up they’ll appreciate that we took these sorts of pictures with them. And by them I mean the cats…cuz my little sister was traumatized!
I think I love your parents.
Yay! Normally I get blocked from your site, but since there are no naughty things in this post it let me on today!
Loved the card…and this photo shoot is amazing. Next year you should send out the photo montage. Haha.
Stupid work! Or maybe me, for being so consistently offensive…
Wow. Perfection. No idea how to top that…
Right?!
I’m not sure that those CAN be topped. Priceless really. And if you do top them you must put me on your christmas card list bc I must put one on my fridge.
Done and DONE.
Hehe. CUTE! I may not be the biggest fan of cats, but this in my mailbox would definitely be the highlight of my mail for the year. You guys are awesome!
You don’t have to love cats to mock us.
That is too freaking cute — you all need a reality show ASAP — I want Murray
The fact that you could get your bfry in an elf hat is half the battle- love it! And am I losing it or have you always had snow falling on your site? Great little trick
LOL I love it. I wanted to do an Xmas card but ran out of time/energy to do so.
p.s. your cat’s name is Axe Murderer? That is the most awesome thing I’ve ever heard.
The pimp elf is by far my favorite card I have received this year!
I absolutely loved getting this in the mail! I’m totally keeping it for all eternity.
You are so lucky that your cats haven’t clawed you in your sleep.
But seriously, they are MAD cute.
That is freaking brill. I think you should make a flip-book with the pics!
My absolute favorite is the second row, middle picture one. CLASSIC. Everyone looks confused and all, “WTF?!”
Booo, I didn’t get your Christmas card! I guess this will have to do… (it’s the same thing, I guess…)
Lovely photos
Holy crap that Siamese cat is enormo! What do you feed it, baby deer?
…
By which I mean, what a fetching family portrait. Happy Holidays!
Your cats looks SO pissed.
Which is good. They need to be pissed off every once in a while. Considering the stuff they barf up and expect us to clean.
hahahahya…we have a similar blooper reel, self portraits with animals are not easy!
It’s actually much better than i expected. I had imagined a pic of you both and the cats, at least one of them showing their brown parts just like the one you sent to Maxie over twitter some months ago.
You never fail to dissapoint dear, but be sure not to send xmas cards to the ASPCA
There’s only one way to top that next year — you need more animals.
I love it that you tortured your cats like that! That. Was. Awesome!
You and B look adorable…..
I LOVE Axe Murderer….his name, his chubby face, his evil expression. So funny!
More importantly.. WHY WEREN’T YOU in a (preferably ugly) Christmas sweater, LiLu??!!
I am loving it!! hahahaha
Those are GREAT pictures
Merrrrrrry Christmas!
I like pic #6 you look a little shell shocked.
It’s hard for me to tell who’s tortured more by this, the cats or you guys. Obviously you’re all meant to pose together though.
Next year I say you wear awful Christmas sweaters (sparkly appliques and such) and put antlers on the cats. And then let me video document the whole ordeal.
You have no idea the pleasure this gives me every time I see it on my refrigerator. B’s face = best ever. I laugh every time I look at it, nestled among photos of my friends’ kids.
that card provoked a full-on guffaw from me. in other words, I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
Love the cats in hats. Next year you could top it all by making them sit in a nativity scene. You could use hamsters as sheep and give them little hats too.
LOL! Those pictures are awesome! I would love to do photo greeting cards, but the boyfriend just doesn’t like them. Grrrr…
Thank you Thank you!!
I got the card in the mail today and laughed my ass off. My bf was like, what the hell is wrong with you? And I showed him and he just stared at me like I’m a weirdo. Whatever.
BOYS DON’T GET BLOGGING.
Whatever.
I’ve given you an award on my blog!
http://www.fabbrunette.com/2009/12/its-like-christmas-came-early.html
Third last shot looks your giving puss a little back door action… wrong! I took myself (and Micko) out of the Christmas shot this year.. left the dog in and included some cruel and unusual punishment, then went public and displayed it for the world to see on my blog. He (Billy the furry baby) is suitable unimpressed and a little embarrassed!
Awesome.
I think my boyfriend has the same shirt…or maybe I do. Somewhere in between the two of us those shirts may have had a baby shirt and B’s wearing it.
I’m pretty sure the only way to top this would involve showing your friends and family parts of yourself they hoped to never see again… save that creepy cousin/uncle we all have.
LOL, those are all hilarious!
omg that is fantastic!!!
I still have the scar I got while trying to take a Christmas photo with my cat Ludwig (a cross eyed Siamese terrorist). He’s long dead now.
I have one word.
Dogs!
My Franky will pose for pictures. Without all the scratching and howling. And he la la loves the Santa Suit and hat. Really!
You-all need some bandaids? I got some Hello Kitty ones and Spiderman ones and oh look, I got a few Sponge Bobs too!
LOVE THIS!!! So freaking cute!!! Just sending the charity dog calendar to the printers. Have to get one your way. Next year, I think you should do a cat calendar – one shot has to be walking them on a leash outside! xoxo
OH MY GOD AMAZING.
I love your face in that first one. It’s like, “woah” =]
THAT is WAY good! AWESOME cards!
Nicely done, cat owners. Now if you could tell me how to keep them from swatting you while you put them through that, I’d appreciate it because my office cat (yes, office cat) does not like Santa hats.
Those cats are going to eat you and B’s faces while you sleep but that is an awesome pic! : )
It’s my most favoritest card. It has the word murderer on it. FTW
I am not a cat fun. In fact I hate them.
But THIS is fantastic….
hahaha these are amazing.
I love how everyone thinks that B “lets” you do all this shit to him. Like he is not a fucking willing participant in the madness that is LiLu.
Whatev….Merry Fucking Christmas LiLu!
Thank you for totally giving me lots of reasons to smile.
I will be sending you a self addressed and stamped envelope so that I may receive this lovely, artistic expression of the love you, B, and the furballs share and stick it on my fridge. Plus, my two cats want to have some eye candy…
oh my, those pics are awesome lady!! loved them all..
xoxo
awwww now that’s about the cutest thing i have seen!
I’m so happy you shared your family with my mailbox.
hahahah i love it. my dog would never sit still for that.
These are absolutely adorable. The cats are looking none too happy but B, he’s a hell of a sport.
I love it! You guys are adorable.
Oh my gosh, I want one! An autographed one actually
Haha! Nice! I’m definitely feeling the holiday spirit vibes.
All I can say is that is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!! Lol
And yes, those cats look all but thrilled–I’m sure it was worth it though
I wish my husband would let me send out a holiday card with us and our cat! Yours turned out so cute!
Dammit, these totally beat my holiday greetings!
These are THE BEST! Poor kitties, they looked pissed in some pictures :p
That is great!
Great!
-Happy Holidays
LOL @ Rod/Mooooog
You guys are NOT The Gayest Couple, but, pretty close.
Next year you should wear your snuggies. Your clothes are too normal
That card was the best thing to hit my mailbox in years. I may have to frame it. xoxoxoxoox
That is maybe the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. Thank you.
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