I usually try not to offend too much at this little place (guys! GUYS! I said that with a straight face!!)… but Andhari’s hilarious plea for more… ahem, “colorful” bloggers to be nominated for the 20SB “featured blogger” yesterday has inspired me.
Dear oh-so-boring tweeters on Twitter (and Facebook-status-updaters)…
You really grind my gears.
“I had a ham sandwich for lunch! It was mediocre!”
“Me too! Let’s be besties 4-eva!”
And the back and forth convos that no one else in any way needs to see?
“Are we meeting at 6:30?”
“Better make it 6:35, I have to brush my teeth!”
Guess who cares? Go on, guess. We’ll wait.
NO ONE.
I mean, I’m sure I’ve gotten drunk before and twittered something inane, like “mmmm… jumbo slice“. Sometimes you just have to throw out a simple “Thanks!” or “Happy Birthday, Jane!” It happens; we all get a few freebies. But come on, people. For the most part, unless it’s funny, witty, bitchy, complimentary, or about something horrible that happened to you… I don’t want to hear it. I don’t think any of us do.
And what is the obvious solution to this problem… don’t read them, right? And so I don’t. I rarely look at the timeline, and I only use it when people say something “@” me. Same for Facebook… I pretty much only log in when I’ve got a request or something.
Still, it’s kind of sad, because now I’m missing the good stuff too. But I’m sorry, Twitter/Facebook… I just can’t do it anymore.
Bottom line, people?
I love you… BUT…
Think before you tweet.
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Well, that’s just great.
I had this whole awesome tweet about how my hands are cold and you just..just…just RUINED it.
I hope you’re happy.
I’m tweeting THAT.
‘I hope Lilu is happy.’
How do you do sarcasm in a tweet?
Hardy har. At least that would’ve left some room to make a joke about warming your hands up.
spleeness Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:49 am
You’d better write “I hope _@_Lilu is happy” or she won’t see it!! lol
TRUE STORY.
I kind of support all tweets about food,but I agree with you on everything else.
I love my boyfriend sooooooooo much!
I can’t find anything to wear!
I love my car!
It’s true. I shouldn’t hate on food, ever. It’s so good to me, after all.
I’d reply to this but that fecking snow is doing my cake in so i won’t…i’m so twittering that!
Dude, twitter is inane, that’s just what it does. Facebook on the other hand drives me crackers with the gormless status updates. Contrary, Moi?
Gormless? I love you Brits.
LizSara Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:43 am
I know, we have all the greatest words. see also bobbins and spobbing for examples, oh yes!
Spobbing?! Please to explain.
Does it count when I tweet about what a tardbaby my boyfriend is? Because that is true.
The word “tardbaby” is funny in and of itself. You’re cool.
I signed up for Twitter, forgot about it, then cancelled my account.
I didn’t like it. There, I said it….
And no one can blame you.
Was it wrong for me to tweet about how phallic my amaryllis is looking these days? Is that the one that set you off?
DAMN YOU TWITTER AND YOUR COMPLICATED RULES!
Wow, this coffee is strong.
ANYTHING phallic is funny. You know this.
I pretty much only pay attention to tweets @me too, unless something interesting catches my eye, which is pretty rare. I’m pretty sure I bore the socks off of people with my tweets, but I just assume everyone is just ignoring the majority of the tweets so it doesn’t matter much.
But don’t you dream of a better Twitter? A Twitter where only funny videos and snarky comments exist?
My goal on FB and Twitter is to never be Vague Girl. You know “Lesley has just realized what she is fighting so hard for” or “I really wish that wouldn’t have happened.” WTF? Either tell the whole story, be of use, reference something relevant to you or your blog, or shut up.
And there’s the angry part of me.
I completely forgot to rant on Vague Girl! Or Guy, for that matter. I’m not going to coddle you. Spit it out!
Maxie Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:53 am
THANK YOU. i hate it when people do that. It’s so obvious that they just want people to ask what is going on.
Eau de desperation, anyone?
justrun Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:56 am
Exactly. Don’t bait me.
Ugh I so agree. While I am probably victim to this, I DESPISE Facebook. I am on it, but never have posted a status. I am so sick of the people posting ‘my baby pooped on the potty today.’ Um, I don’t care about your kid shitting, and neither do you 456 friends.
HAHAHA I love you.
Love it ! Totally with you there ! Happy Christmas
To you as well, dear!
I’ve been totally guilty of this lately.
*hangs head in shame*
The DM is your best friend.
I’m bored with Facebook, My Space and Twitter.
What’s MySpace?
PQ Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:46 pm
A black hole of shit.
Point taken!!!! Some of the things I read I could care less about as well . . . but then . . . sometimes, just sometimes, I get caught in that whirlwind of “OMG!” moments and Tweet something stupid.
I’m sorry, LiLu. I will try harder . . . AND TOTALLY REBLOG YOU!
Hahaha. You know the way to my heart, love.
I don’t think before I tweet. I say things like “WHERE DID THIS BUTTER COME FROM?!” and “OMFG HARRY POTTER”. But those are quality tweets.
I’m okay with anything involving butter. Butter gets a pass.
You mean you don’t care that I had a sesame bagel with cream cheese for breakfast. How self-involved can one person be.
By the way, did you know it’s snowing on your blog? You should look into that.
It’s Christmas herpes!
People should cram as much as they possibly can into the 140 characters, no more ‘wasssup’, ‘idunno,stuff’. Tell an interesting story, maybe a kick ass poem or something? Wait did I just say kick ass and poem in the same sentence?
You sure did, my friend. I’m not touching that one.
AGREED. nuff said.
I concur.
haha while its hard to write a comment because i’m sure i’ve had many craptastic tweets in my day. but the biggest thing that makes me want to punch a puppy? When people write ‘i emailed so & so’ or ‘omg so & so’s email is amazing’ seriously people.. are we that insecure you need to brag about how awesome you are that you got an email? get a hobby. or volunteer.
Wait. Is someone handing out volunteers? DIBS!
I am TOTALLY guilty of not thinking before I tweet. I think maybe it’s a condition. I don’t know how to fix it.
Don’t hate me.
I could never, my dear!
Somehow I ended up following some math nerd, he just kept posting math problems. It was horrible.
In the words of Dooce, UNFOLLOW!!!
I don’t really get Twitter. I mean so many people on there already have Facebook which provide ‘status updates’, so it seems…excessive!
But if used for just sheer silliness, it could be fun!
It is definitely silly.
I only read “@peterdewolf” tweets. Which means two things:
1) I’ve crossed the line to “COMPLETELY self-absorbed.”
2) More people should tweet to me to keep me interested.
Hence my addition of “complimentary” into acceptable tweets.
I got a solution.I dodnot tweet.
That however is going to change ;D
Join the fray of madness! Why not?
Miss_Nobody Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:54 pm
OH,whyever not.Yup,I’m in.Here’s to tweeting!Avatar rant coming up!
um yes and amen.
i’m thinking about posting a link to this post on my FB. hint hint people.
Haha! Love it.
I encourage more alcohol fueled tweets and blog posts!
ALWAYS.
I used to tweet until I realized that I didn’t even care what I was saying, so I stopped. Besides, who has time to always be that connected? Definitely not me!
Only when I’m at work, anyway…
Lilu Merry Christmas!
You too, dear!
I must say I love Twitter and I am very selective who I follow. Most of those I follow are awesome for me, but if I happen to notice that someone’s boring me, I unfollow them… Twitter is very dynamic, people come and go very quickly, needs some time to get used to it. But I totally fell for it, but I must say Facebook does bore me lately.
I should probably be more selective, but it’s hard to unfollow once you’ve got them on your list. At least I feel bad, anyway..
Okay, I had to go look at my tweeter account and last one was to Martha Stewart – yeah, you read that right.
However, when I do tweet, it is mostly to make my sister laugh so a lot of it is inside stuff…do I care someone went to lunch, peed or crapped. Nope. Move on.
I still think Tweeter is virtual stalking and I’m really not stalk worthy.
Facebook is even more stalker-y. Social networking is really just the technical term for stalking, I think.
I don’t mind when people tweet/facebook about day-to-day things but I do hate it when they write cryptic messages, countdowns and what music they are currently listening to. I am not a very witty person on paper. I’m much more exciting once you get to know me. But hopefully my blog/tweets/facebook are not too boring—there is a good chance that they are though. I always think of my best comments when I am not at a computer and then forget about them.
You are absolutely charming in person, my dear. And I read your blog for a reason
Can we get something for the people who just RT 10 straight messages from other people? I don’t need my entire timeline to be RT that weren’t interesting the first time. If I wanted to see someone steal material I go watch Carlos Mencia. (Take THAT 2007!)
Ha. He is one big Mexi-CAN…stealotherpeople’sjokes!
Oh, don’t get your panties in a twitter.
Here is the reason: there is nothing more enjoyable than reading those mundane status updates and realizing that your life is more exciting your friends.
Oh, I knew I liked you. Hahaha!
I’m tired of all the rules. I will tweet what I want, when I want and really don’t give a fuck who reads it or not and I am so glad I have finally hit an age where I don’t give a fuck!!!!
Oh, by the way drop by my blog for an award or should I @you on twitter so you get the message (LOL).
Thanks, hon. And I hope your baby girl’s feeling better soon!!
I broke out the anger today. And the swear words. I fucking hate the holidays, and my family drives me crazy, and I’m not the type to write a letter bragging about how perfect my life is.
Boldness? It feels good.
Hatred reigns. Tomorrow may be Christmas Eve, but it ain’t here yet…
@lilu: What’s twitter?
Hardy har.
I am too boring to tweet, so I stopped. I love people too much to hear what boring things I do on a daily basis…blogging is more fun, at least there is eye candy!
Kelly
Ha! I never thought about it that way. I should’ve put a picture of Don Draper in this post…
Unfollow is your solution. If someone’s getting annoying, just unfollow. Most people never realize you unfollowed them anyway, unless they signed up to get notified from a 3rd party. In theory those people should be into it enough that they aren’t boring.
@replies are good IF someone else might enjoy that conversation too.
Overall though, the users that post FB style updates are the one’s effing it all up.
Eh, I still feel bad unfollowing. I’m a pussy that way.
You made my heart sad with this post….maybe I wanted you to know that my daughter asked where snowman balls are…..:)
But see, THAT’S adorable!
Okay those are annoying.
You know what wins the prize though?
Couples fighting via twitter. Hahahahahahhahah. No joke. A classmate of mine @ her boyfriend the other day said something like,”I always knew you like that girl! Don’t lie to me!”
I mean seriously?:D
That would MAKE MY LIFE to read! Ahahahahaha!
I agree with one commenter…..if someone is boring or uninteresting just unfollow them.
That’s fine for people you don’t really know… but what if you DO?
I don’t use Twitter but as far as Facebook goes I can’t stand the super religious folk who every single thing they do they write about how it and then have to thank Jesus and praise the Lord etc. If I wanted to be preached too I would go to church.
And no offense to all the mommies out there but I don’t need a daily play by play of when your kid eats, or poops etc.
Well, I can’t really judge on the poop stories…
Oh I like Shannon…gonna have to stalk her later.
I sometimes find myself in a twitter-convo and then I’m like WTF, umm maybe I should text/call/email/GO SEE THEM IN PERSON…
So I’m guilty sometimes. But there are worse. And now I’m just going to do tweet at you like this
“hey @livitluvit”
“I miss you @livitluvit”
“@livitluvit are you drinking champagne on the couch at 2 on a monday afternoon? OMG ME TOO hookers for life!”
Oh I feel ya, sistah. I have a group of friends who all live together, and will tweet about bills, issues within the house.. KEEPING THE FRONT DOOR CLOSED.. asking who fed the dog scraps… absolutely ridiculous things that could have been said in person. I almost want to delete them, but that’s rude, right?
And, not to mention, the whole group of them will tweet the SAME THING.. it’s like, okay, I know you’re all playing wii. I didn’t need to read it twelve times.
It’s always good to keep your tweets geared towards your whole following, unless you might as well just be texting.
I feel obligated to check in on my timeline every now and then just to be sure theres nothing fun going on..
this entire post is too full of truthiness. loves it. i admit, sometimes i get into twitter back-and-forths, but we’re usually hating or loving inappropriately on something/someone, so i like to think it’s not terribly obnoxious.
I think seeing inane tweets are only good when you “know” the person. Otherwise, it’s just clutter. But I shouldn’t talk since I tweet about dreading walking to work in snowstorms. I can’t help but rage tweet every now and then.
I just don’t have a long enough attention span for twitter…
Hilare. I have a “friend” on facebook who refers to himself in the first person…’Joe is going to eat lunch now’ ‘Joe just ate lunch and is full’ ‘Joe needs to go to bed’ ‘Joe is not tired’.
You get the picture. All I want to say is ‘Joe shut the f*&k up!’
guilty.
I’m so f’in boring. I’ve been trying to refrain from the mundane and pointless shit but its a tough habit to break.
I find your tweets hilarious though
Ah don’t be a spoil sport, just reassures you how witty you really are when you read all the lame tweets…
I am kind of like that when tweeting, not FB though… lol
ugh… I’ve stopped checking FB that much as well, Twitter is slightly better though, but I’m not following that many people.
How did you feel when you deleted the whole blog? I would totally freak out, and actually maybe just give up, and let it be, like whatever, then I won’t blog EVER AGAIN! yeah… I’m a nag, like that!
loves
I’m always interesting AND informative and I think you know this. Therefore I have taken no offense to this.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO OFFEND ME!
LOL for that one!! i watched some guys say on Jay Leno show that “please stop tweeting unnecessary things!! who gives a shit about your pedicures, manicures or what you had for lunch!! come on!!” and he was so right at soem point i guess.. like you are..
love.xoxo
OMG… you read my Tweets… don’t you?!
They are usually quite educational/informative…
And here I thought Twitter was a “What are you doing?” and not “Whats on your mind?” Rules: Must be funny, witty, bitchy, complimentary, or about something horrible that happened to you. Silly me.
Twitter is fucking stupid. There I said it. I’ve been wanting to say it for a minute now. Stupid. It’s mass texting and I think it’s lame. Unless you twitter, do you? Cause I need to start following you if you do.
God I love you. Although I am guilty of these things at times, you are completely right!
I think my cat just farted
omg. i love this sweater!
ha! there are so many tweet faux pas out there tho. I try to post meaningful tweets.. Try.
if i wanna tweet about my pb and j sandwich, let me tweet about my pb and j sandwich for crying out loud!
I thought that everyone wanted to hear about my mediocre sandwiches! That’s it! From now on, I only tell the world about the delicious ones.
I can barely blog, so I won’t even attempt Twitter.
Happy Holidays , RiLu! Hope Santa’s good to you!
xoxo
Listen, sweetheart, that ham sandwich WAS mediocre and the world HAD to know.
This weetabix, on the other hand, is sublime.
It’s just as bad as when people go all Emo over Facebook. Or all “My life is AWESOME and I’m so HAPPY aren’t you JEALOUS?!?!?!”
both these things make me feel stabby.
It’s also wise to make sure that Tweets go where they are intended. I once broadcast for all the world to see – and didn’t realize it for two days – the Tweet “I just shit my pants. Total Margaret Cho moment.” It was supposed to have been a Direct (and PRIVATE) Message.
The thing I hate the most is conversations on Facebook between couples. Aren’t they with each other as they write that stuff? I friggin hate it.
Hey, Merry Christmas! See you soon, I can’t wait!
I’ve been cracking up at these comments! I know I am guilty of some of these things, and I am having a hard time drawing the line between tweeting to friends and tweeting to clients. I feel so limited!
I’m with ya sister! I rarely read anything on FB or Twitter anymore. I don’t care how many times a day someone sneezes, farts, shits, brushes teeth, gets up, sits down, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah……
phentermine [url="http://www.phentermine-tablets.com/"]phentermine[/url] http://www.phentermine-tablets.com/ >:]]
I agree. If its not interesting or funny, dont tweet it or post it to facebook. I wrote something similar on my blog a while back. http://livingwithballs.com/facebook-pet-peeves/
Hahah a Im sure I have tweetered some boring ass shiz. But I keep the lid on FB. HATE status updates with a passion.
Hahahaha, I use Twitter as a way to market myself mostly, sometimes the mundane details are necessary.
(i.e. thanks for the RT, etc)
guilty as charged for tweeting boring shit. *hangs head in shame*
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