In Which There Is Absolute Proof I Am NOT Adopted.

by LiLu on December 30, 2009 · 98 comments

in FAMILY first,LOVE,WE might be clinical,a reason to drink- like i need one,bummin it,confessionary tales,funnies,growing down,how jealous are you right now?,i am one classy lady,it's beginning to look a lot like (a charlie brown kinda) christmas,schmoop,twitterwhore

My arrival to Boston last Thursday coincided with the following tweets…

“I’m on a plane to SEE him and my dad is still emailing me tardy cat videos. God, I love my family.”

“Well, hello, Bahstun. You’re looking very white. (Double entendres are fun!)”

“Just saw a cab in Boston called “The Ride”. I wonder if that was its Jersey Shore generated nickname.”

My dad and sister picked me up, and we sang holly jolly Christmas carols the whole way home… until a rendition of Silver Bells stopped us up.

Me: Hmmm. Is this Stevie Wonder?

Dad: No, it’s a woman singing.

Me: No way. It’s definitely a black man.

Dad: Listen to it, it’s absolutely a woman!

(we listen for a few moments…)

Dad: Actually… I think it’s Michael Jackson.

Me: So we’re both right!

We continued to battle the Mass Pike and finally made it home, where I was greeted at the door by this.

Clearly, this is the family from whence I came.

Love.

We had some of my family’s oldest friends over on Christmas Eve, where my mother shared her all-time FAVORITE joke with us… at the dinner table.

“What’s brown and sticky?”

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

“A stick.”

I won’t lie. I snarfed my meatball chowder at that one.

So, Christmas at my house has always been… a bit of a spectacle. I don’t know when or how it started, but every year, we have a “theme” of some sort. One year it’s sock monkeys, another it’s flamingos… you get the idea.

This year? It was ugly Christmas sweaters… and the most ridiculous hats my mother could find.

Trust me... it's a blessing that it's blurry.

The stockings, "by" the chimney with care.

Embracing my roots... however they may emerge.

Rocking my champagne, klassy style.

Just a little casual civilized chatter on Christmas morning.

This was from four people. FOUR. My family is insane.

All in all, it was the most perfect day in the world… just like it is every year.

/Schmoop.

Other tweetings through the weekend…

“I AM WATCHING JULIE AND JULIA WITH MY FAMILY AND GAIL THE SNAIL IS IN IT AND NO ONE UNDERSTANDS. The pain. It is PALPABLE.”

“My father just referred to me as their (four pound) dog’s “big sister”. Apparently, I have some Yorkie in my bloodline I was unaware of.”

“My mom just downloaded Chumbawumba to her new Droid as a ringtone. … ‘Nuff said.”

“There is a girl who looks like @clevelandsaplum‘s doppelganger across the restaurant. Trying to resist the urge to squee and hug her silly.”

“I feel like Blair Waldorf with my headband in this awesomely dirty Worcester bar.”

“Me, to sis: “Wanna go to Target?” Sis: “Mehhhhhhh… let’s go to WalMart instead… so I don’t have to put on pants.”

“THE DOLLAR TREE JUST RICK ROLLED ME. Love it!!!!”

Hope yours was just as- well, maybe HALF as- ridiculous as mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Announcements:

1. I did the round-up for DCBlogs.com today! Check it out.

2.I won’t be doing a TMI Thursday tomorrow, as no one’s really around… but we’ll be back in full force next week with another Post Secret version. Keep sending ‘em in!

3. Hey… did you get a chance to vote for me on 20SB yet? Just sayin.

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Tweets that mention In Which There Is Absolute Proof I Am NOT Adopted. | Livit, Luvit -- Topsy.com: December 30, 2009 at 4:01 pm

{ 95 comments }

1 Hope December 30, 2009 at 10:19 am: Your dog’s sweater was waaaay more blinged out than mine. Am totally jealous!

I almost stole it for my cats.
2 Kelly December 30, 2009 at 10:49 am: omg! can your family adopt me next xmas? puhleeeeeease. looks like so much fun.

Dying over the “Ride” tweet. Old people get all the good free stuff here — so they get a “free” RIDE.

It is a blast. A ridiculous blast, but a blast nonetheless.
3 moooooog35 December 30, 2009 at 10:56 am: I think my eyes are bleeding from the sweaters.

I’ll be sending you my optometry bill.

I brought three of them home with me.

Watch your mailbox.
4 PQ December 30, 2009 at 11:02 am: I just snorted so hard, snot came out my nose.

True story.

Just think of it as Christmas juice.
5 Mandi December 30, 2009 at 11:05 am: Oh man, Christmas with your family looks like a heck of a good time!

True story.
6 Jessica @ How Sweet It Is December 30, 2009 at 11:05 am: When you see people out literally wearing sweaters like that, don’t you want to ask them if they are on their way to an ugly Christmas sweater party??? I do.

YES. But it’s kind of like asking a woman if she’s pregnant… too damn risky.
7 Lexi December 30, 2009 at 11:05 am: Your family is amazing.

PS. meatball chowdah? please explain!

Can’t. Super top secret family recipe that Grandma will give to NONE of us.
8 Jean December 30, 2009 at 11:06 am: Sounds like an utterly delightful holiday. I suddenly feel the urge to shop for Christmas sweaters.

Apparently, the thrift stores have a plethora of them…
9 Skylers Dad December 30, 2009 at 11:07 am: Love the glasses and teeth, you should have gone to WalMart and worn those. Then looked for yourself at peopleofwalmart!!

If I knew I’d make it, I TOTALLY would have.
10 Allison December 30, 2009 at 11:09 am: love the picture of you raising a glass with the best glasses ever. my xmas eve ended with my brother trying to ride on the back on my aunt’s SUV…..Christmas ale makes everyone a bit crazy.

Mmmmmm. Christmas ale.
11 Lil Woman December 30, 2009 at 11:09 am: I thought I couldnt heart you enuff then I see this…my goodness

Right back atcha, ladyfriend.
12 Herding Cats December 30, 2009 at 11:12 am: I just fell in love with your entire family. Those sweaters and hats? Totally amazing. Oh, and my Jersey Shore name is “Pooker” – which is hilarious because we had a cat named that.

Mine was “Pookie”! Twinsies!
13 Brown Girl December 30, 2009 at 11:13 am: Nice, love holidays with the family. Ours consisted of using the F word at the most inappropriate times, that’s how we roll. Straight klassy.

That’s just being “boisterous”, in my world. Love it.
14 Paula December 30, 2009 at 11:14 am: Your family sounds as insane as mine! Love the Michael Jackson anecdote. And as for the “what’s brown and sticky?” joke . . . it’s up there amongst my favourites. Right up there with “What’s white and sits up a tree? A refrigerator.” Er . . .

I think I’m missing something…

Paula Reply:
December 30th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
Yeah, I think that’s the point, haha!
15 Ed Adams December 30, 2009 at 11:17 am: I see your man was smart enough to skip this event.

He must have gotten a heads up about those sweet hats.

He saw the spectacle last year. I think he needed a year to recover.
16 Tara December 30, 2009 at 11:17 am: Absolutely voted for you in multiple categories.

And ohmyGod, I can’t believe you guys actually wore the sweaters for longer than just a picture.

Shockingly enough, I was the only one who kept it on for a while. HA.

And thanks, hon!
17 Mich December 30, 2009 at 11:20 am: your fam rocks! we know see where all your craziness comes from! lol

and YEP! i voted… and damn girl, your name was in soooo many categories ! keep up the great blogging

Thank you so much! You’re the best, chica.
18 Mandee December 30, 2009 at 11:20 am: I may or may not be extremely jealous of your Christmas sweaters. WANT.

I did bring home an extra…
19 Shannon December 30, 2009 at 11:21 am: I totes just voted for you.

My future in laws bought their daschsund a pink snuggie…and the dog LOVED it. But then again who wouldn’t love a snuggie?

We totally have the pink kittie snuggie. Well, technically it’s for a dog, but not in this house, obviously…
20 eric December 30, 2009 at 11:21 am: The hats are great. Hey, I never noticed how similar ‘snort’ and ‘snot’ look until someone above commented.

*snarf*
21 Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts December 30, 2009 at 11:26 am: Those sweaters are killer! lol Looks like you guys had a blast.

That we did!
22 zipcode December 30, 2009 at 11:33 am: I can’t stop laughing, love the hats. Seriously when are you getting your own reality tv show?

When Vh1 realizes Maxie and I are wayyyy more entertaining than Ray-J.
23 Hip Hop Hippie December 30, 2009 at 11:35 am: Hilar. My Mom now refers to her cat as my dog’s uncle…um, yeaaaah.

Sigh. The scariest part is, one day we will become them…
24 flipflopsintherain December 30, 2009 at 11:36 am: i may or may not have stolen your mom’s stick joke and used it ALL WEEKEND. it killed.

The best part about it? I’m pretty sure I won’t forget the punchline.
25 lemmonex December 30, 2009 at 11:40 am: We follow the “throw wrapping paper in trash can as you go” rule in my house…I can see this is not the case in the LiLu household.

We actually do. This was after, like, FOUR clean ups. Redic.
26 Julia December 30, 2009 at 11:40 am: Seriously LOVING the Michael Jackson story (also the “classy” champagne Christmas pic!)

Ha!

Julia
jewliagoulia.blogspot.com

Thanks hon!
27 Ela December 30, 2009 at 11:50 am: Congrats on making the round up missy!
Christmas with your family sounds like a riot!!!
I think you wear that sweater quite well, but I think your parents saved the best ones for them, I can’t decide if I love your dad’s or your mom’s vest more. Though I do think their doggie stole the show.

Happy New Year, RiLu
xo

Oh, don’t worry. I stole one of the vests, too.

Happy New Year!
28 Nikki December 30, 2009 at 11:52 am: Oh you guys are adorbs in your ugly sweaters. Love themes. And I definitely knew about the yorkie bloodlines based on a few hairstyles I’ve seen you sport

Meatball chowder? Curious…

Top Secret recipe. Cannot divulge.

Especially after that hairstyle comment.
29 Marie December 30, 2009 at 11:53 am: Sooooo you didn’t bring the dog back with you? I mean just imagine what kind of Christmas cards you can come up with for next year by adding the dog with the cats. Right??

Ooooo. Maybe they can just mail him to me next December?
30 Alice December 30, 2009 at 11:56 am: my sister and i try SO HARD to get my parents to be goofy and ridiculous whenever we’re home, but it doesn’t go so well. after we took several pictures of each other wearing christmas decorations in various stupid ways, we tried to involve my parents. the resulting picture of my dad is priceless only because it’s amazing how much disdain can be captured in a 2-d image.

Although the goofiness definitely comes from my mother’s side originally, my father succumbed to it long ago.
31 maddy December 30, 2009 at 11:57 am: I’ve been following the tweets but I love the pictures! My family loves gross fake teeth.. LOVES them. I have more than a few pictures of me looking like that as well… and I’m Netflixin’ Julie and Julia for definitely now because of Gail the Snail.

p.s. voted for you yesterday! yay

Thanks hon! And Meryl was amazing, but be prepared to want to punch Amy Adams in the face. Like, a lot.
32 Mike December 30, 2009 at 11:58 am: You have an awesome family!

Mine goes to florida every year at this time missing both the holidays and my birthday!

Good thing i’m old and i don’t care otherwise i’d be grumpy about it

For me, Christmas just has to be white. There is no other way.
33 theschmuck December 30, 2009 at 12:01 pm: Your furry boy’s belt buckle is on his back.lol.Just sayin’ Btw,those glasses. I WANT.

You can have them, as they made vision impossible. Ironically.
34 Candice December 30, 2009 at 12:12 pm: Can I PLEASE join your family? Amazing. I didn’t know it was possible to love one’s own roots.

It is not only possible, in my family, it is undeniable.
35 Liebchen December 30, 2009 at 12:15 pm: Our dog was always too big for sweaters so we used to put antlers on him. I think at some point he just gave up fighting us and accepted his fate.

B taught Murray to fetch this weekend. The things we force our pets to do…
36 casey December 30, 2009 at 12:25 pm: where was b??? what’d he get you for christmas? and you him? my husband and i got each other a couple’s day at the spa in lieu of a tradtional gift. oh, and then i bought myself a schwanky handbag, heh heh heh.

He got me… dum dum dum… a WINE FRIDGE. And unbreakable wine glasses. Does the man know me, or does the man know me?
37 Cyndy December 30, 2009 at 12:33 pm: I played a Messiah gig over on the Eastern shore and at the rehearsal I counted 19 Christmas sweaters. NINETEEN! So only four looks fine to me. They are very cute in small numbers. Sounds like you had a fabulous Christmas.

That I did. Your gig sounds like it was hilarious!
38 gingermandy December 30, 2009 at 12:45 pm: please tell me it was the “pissin’ the night away” chumbawumba song your mom downloaded. what a gangsta… especially in that killer sweater. you guys are darling.

Of course it was. And Twitter RESOUNDINGLY responding that it was “totally awesome”.

P.S. No you can’t have my mom, Twitter.
39 Julie December 30, 2009 at 12:56 pm: What a fucking GREAT christmas you had. I love your life!

And I yours, my dear!
40 k8 December 30, 2009 at 12:56 pm: Sigh. My family regularly wears buck teeth on family vacation. That, and we wear our spam t-shirts all on the same day so everyone knows we’re a Spamily! And people wonder why I turned out alcoholic.

I know I *shouldn’t* be laughing at that, but…
41 Laura at Vodka Logic December 30, 2009 at 1:08 pm: Looks like fun.. and the hats look like they are from the Christmas Tree Shops.

Mass rocks..glad you had fun.

Thanks hon! And I would bet GOOD money that they were. Love CTS!
42 Connie December 30, 2009 at 1:10 pm: Merry Christmas!! So glad you could join your family for what looks like a wonderful time had by all! Love your mom’s joke. I’m keeping it. Here’s one to give her in trade: A man walked into a bar…. he said, ‘ow’.

Yup. That’s just about the same level.
43 Alex Roda December 30, 2009 at 1:10 pm: Love the snowman hats lol

You can totally have mine. Ha.
44 MJ December 30, 2009 at 1:11 pm: The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
That may be the least insightful thing I’ve said all day.

But the most true?
45 meleah rebeccah December 30, 2009 at 1:14 pm: those hats and sweaters are classic. And your family is AWESOME!

Thanks lover.
46 meleah rebeccah December 30, 2009 at 1:14 pm: PS: Wishing You A Safe & Happy New Year!

You too!
47 Daffy December 30, 2009 at 1:16 pm: My dad always says I look more like the mailman’s family than my own…which I’m not so sure about. I mean, our mailman was a woman…not sure how that works.

Love the Christmas sweater! I’d totally have to be drunk to wear that too…hope the Bubbley was good :O)

Oh, it always is. Prosecco ftw!
48 danielle December 30, 2009 at 1:22 pm: Glad someone got an entertaining holiday. I spent it keeping my uncle and grandmother from slicing each other’s nads off while opening my three presents to find the going value of three dollars.

*sigh* The holidays…

Oh, man. Next year, you’re coming to my house.
49 J December 30, 2009 at 1:35 pm: I’m surprised you stayed cheery whilst riding the hell that is the Mass Pike

RIGHT?! Thankfully, even though it was rush hour, it wasn’t THAT bad. Christmas miracle.
50 Ams December 30, 2009 at 1:41 pm: You guys are hilarious. I wish my family was as fun! That’s hysterical

Oh, I’m sure they are… in a less ridiculous way.
51 Michelle December 30, 2009 at 1:47 pm: The proof is in the pudding, er , Christmas hats.
Love your sisters comment about going to Walmart so she doesn’t have to put pants on. So they DIDN’T throw the mold away when they made you!

They sure didn’t. I hate to admit it, but she’s twice as funny as I am.
52 BigSis December 30, 2009 at 1:53 pm: So, should I admit that I have that sweater you are wearing and that I wear it every year to the company party? Usually keeping my mouth shut is the best decision.

I totally saved mine to do JUST THAT next year.
53 spleeness December 30, 2009 at 1:59 pm: ““THE DOLLAR TREE JUST RICK ROLLED ME” is my top favorite tweet for 2009. Nearly fell off my chair when that came in.

I love the sweaters & hats!! Also your dad is awesome. I love it that you’re both right – black man/white woman: interchange any of those combos & you still hit it.

My dad IS awesome… and yeah, there’s basically no way to be wrong with that one.
54 Nikki December 30, 2009 at 2:15 pm: I tried to vote…I signed up but now I have to be approved. Is there a secret to not signing in and voting?

It takes a day or so to go through, and then you can! Yay!
55 Gina December 30, 2009 at 2:25 pm: Haha! I can’t decide what I like better – the Christmas hats or the dog’s Santa outfit!

Glad to hear you had a perfect Christmas. =)

Thanks! Hope yours was lovely too.
56 Mary December 30, 2009 at 2:46 pm: This is explains a lot. Also? I’m jealous.

BTW, I totally watched Julie and Julia with my mom and sis this weekend and also freaked the fuck out when I saw her. She even sounds the same. Dude.

She ROCKED it. Love me some Meryl.
57 Jules December 30, 2009 at 2:54 pm: Wow. Matching hats and a dressed up dog. I totally understand why you are the way you are now.

The mystery revealed.
58 Kristina P. December 30, 2009 at 2:56 pm: I love your family.

You would fit RIGHT in.
59 Maxie December 30, 2009 at 3:02 pm: But were you drinking CRISTALINO??

You know I only drink sharpied-CRISTAL at Matchbox, woman.
60 freckledk December 30, 2009 at 3:18 pm: I’m wondering if I’m too old to be adopted…

Never.
61 Mr Condescending December 30, 2009 at 3:25 pm: I thought I was on livitluvit.com, not “masterpiece theatre.”
62 Mr Condescending December 30, 2009 at 3:26 pm: I thought I was on livitluvit.com, not “masterpiece theatre.” (Referencing the glasses and teeth)

I am a woman of many trades, my dear.
63 Steam Me Up Kid December 30, 2009 at 3:27 pm: That’s a super fancy dog Santa outfit. With the belt and everything? Very slimming. Kind of sexy too. *psst, puppy….call me*

You’re not worried he might be, ahem, a bit… small?

Steam Me up, Kid Reply:
December 30th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Motion of the ocean, baby. Motion of the ocean.
64 Kellie December 30, 2009 at 3:29 pm: I was greeted by a Chihuahua dressed in that same outfit! Love the hats! Hawt! Looks like you had a grand time! Wish it was still Xmas. It goes by too fast.

xoxo

It does… but tomorrow’s is New Year’s! Woot!
65 fizzgigabyte December 30, 2009 at 3:43 pm: those pictures are simply hilarious! I love the hat/sweater combo and the christmas doggie. too freaking cute!

Thank you, my love!
66 poodlegoose December 30, 2009 at 4:14 pm: That is one of my favorite jokes ever. Hands down. Except for the ones that my 1st graders tell in class:

Knock, knock.
*sheesh* Who’s there?
Poop.
*poop who?
Poop on your head (or in your face, or in your pants. You get the idea. My kids love poop.)

Oh, and the interrupting cow one.

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
67 Clairebell December 30, 2009 at 4:17 pm: I. TOTALLY. Have. That. HAT! It disappeared after Christmas last year, though. Boo.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3117/3154010167_52d4a112a4.jpg

Hahahaha! I thought it was a one of a kind. Twinsies!
68 MinD December 30, 2009 at 4:21 pm: Hahahaha. I think your family needs to get together and take a non-blurry version of that photo. It can be next year’s Christmas card!

Oh no. I’ve got to think of something WAY more ridiculous than that.
69 littlemsblogger December 30, 2009 at 4:24 pm: I think Stacey from What Not to Wear would be jealous of the sweaters and the hats.

I saw this tweet “My mom just downloaded Chumbawumba to her new Droid as a ringtone. … ‘Nuff said.” and laughed.

Glad you had a great Christmas.

Stacey would totally judge me, but I love her anyway.

xoxo
70 Alex December 30, 2009 at 4:55 pm: I am seriously gonna start themed Christmas for my kids. Your family rocks.
71 Grace December 30, 2009 at 5:09 pm: Spending time with family is the best. I’m glad you had a good time.
72 John-Living with Balls December 30, 2009 at 5:22 pm: Your mom has my vote for the ugliest Christmas sweater.
73 Lisa December 30, 2009 at 5:36 pm: Adopted? Ha! You very clearly fit right in! Awesome!
74 fgrngtllt December 30, 2009 at 5:58 pm: you seriously look like you in pain in that family ‘ugly sweaters’ photo it made me laugh sooo much

and hve totally voted for 20sb bootleggers awards- i may have voted for you in certain categories too:)
75 Sebastian December 30, 2009 at 7:45 pm: Your family might even be a little bit crazier than mine… I’m impressed, and slightly in awe
76 Ashley December 30, 2009 at 9:07 pm: I told my dad that joke. He LOVED it.
77 steph anne December 30, 2009 at 9:15 pm: That’s an awesome tradition that your family does, lol. I’m all for weird & crazy family stuff. That’s what makes it more fun!!
78 Adrienzgirl December 30, 2009 at 9:43 pm: Looks like a fun time! You had to have come from a family like this!
79 linlah December 30, 2009 at 9:50 pm: Your mom is a character.
80 verybadcat December 30, 2009 at 10:30 pm: Don’t you just love that feeling, the one where you look around and realize that there is no denying your heritage?
81 Elizabeth Marie December 30, 2009 at 11:30 pm: I want to see pictures from the Flamingo Christmas.

On the real…you’re lucky to have such a fun family! And a sister to commiserate with you the whole time, that’s what I use Gab for.

Happy New Year HOOOOKER of my life
82 Brittney December 30, 2009 at 11:37 pm: I’m totally doing an ugly sweater party. And I’m bedazzling mine before adding Xmas song lyrics in puffy paint. Rocking it 1992 style.
83 Cheryl December 30, 2009 at 11:52 pm: Um, I’m pretty sure you have the best family ever. Love the sweater. You should wear that more often. Brings out the colours in your eyes.

…. yeah….
84 Extremely Witty December 31, 2009 at 12:52 am: The Mass Pike is the Devil’s work
85 JR Moreau December 31, 2009 at 2:44 am: That’s about as Worcesterish of a Christmas as I’ve ever seen outside of 16 Whipple Street. Glad you had fun! Maybe I’ll catch you around town next time. I also go to DC for biz, so one way or another, who knows!
86 Cheddar December 31, 2009 at 3:32 am: Your family is adorable and definitely more fun than mine. Although, my stepmom comparing eating caviar to swallowing jizz was definitely entertaining. Oh holidays…
87 Jenn (Ex Hot Girl) December 31, 2009 at 4:05 am: Umm, the stick joke is the greatest thing I’ve ever heard and I’ll be spreading it around like a virus tomorrow.

I love your family, the photos, the ugly sweaters, I’m jealous! How fun!!

Happy New Year! xoxooxxox

~Jenn
88 sheila December 31, 2009 at 7:22 am: figures, no TMI thursday, lol. I think my post today might have made it. lol. Nah, maybe not.

LOVE the ugly sweaters. lol awesome idea! great pics! I think our moms have the same couch.
89 Kristen December 31, 2009 at 8:57 am: your pictures…. I died. just sayin!

Your family seems like fun!! poop-ish jokes, cat videos, ugly sweaters… What more could one ask for on Christmas??

Happy New Year!!
90 Aurora December 31, 2009 at 2:44 pm: your family is awesome.

…adopt me?
91 Light_Assassin December 31, 2009 at 11:18 pm: ambien [url="http://www.sweetdreamsadvice.com/"]ambien[/url] http://www.sweetdreamsadvice.com/ dag
92 em January 1, 2010 at 11:24 am: Oh my word!

Would your family adopt me? Please. I love your people.

And the stick joke – I can hardly wait until my 7-year-old gets home from running errands with the Hubs to tell him that one. Excellent.

Happiest of New Years!!! Em
93 speakyourself January 1, 2010 at 8:48 pm: I loved that stick joke as a kid. And your Christmas looks very much like ours with the piles of wrapping paper everywhere.
94 WendyB January 1, 2010 at 9:28 pm: Please invite me over next year!!!
95 TheBleeder January 2, 2010 at 2:21 am: ambien [url="http://www.sweetdreamsadvice.com/"]ambien[/url] http://www.sweetdreamsadvice.com/ 909