We all know how this game goes… basically, whenever my friends get so offensive it shocks even me, I save it in my cute little “Shiz” gmail folder to share with you at a later date, entirely at their expense.
Love it.
Past “Shiz My Friends Say” here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lexa was less than thrilled when she saw this picture of me from my Costa Rica album… and it wasn’t because of my massive sunburn.
New comment on your post
Author : lemmonex
Comment: Please tell me you did not PET those mongrels.
I responded by chat…
Me: there were multiple times we were sitting at dinner and i had feral cats SNUGGLED in my lap
Lexa: OMG
Me: hahaha
Lexa: i am sorry but that is really gross
Me: i know
Lexa: no hugs for you
Me: i washed my hands!
Lexa: those scabies burrow
Me: i’ll let you know if it starts itching
Lexa: gross
Me: they wanted pets!
who am i to deny them pets!
Lexa: uh huh
when all your hair starts falling out
and you start frothing at the vagina
those pets will not be cute
Me: FROTHING AT THE VAGINA
hahahahahahaha
Lexa: ha
thats for shiz your friends say material there
Me: oh i already flagged it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You should know that my friends Katie and brad have a good-sized mutt that everyone in their “up and coming” DC neighborhood refers to as a “WOLF DOG!!!” whenever they take him for a walk.
Me: okay
you will appreciate this
i was just walking through my hood
Katie: uh huh
Me: girl sitting outside at a coffee shop has a huge dog with her
boxer or something
the halfway house is next door
one of the guys leans over the fence
and yells at her
“i thought they outlawed ponies in this neighborhood!!!!”
Katie: HAHAHAHA!
that absolutely beats wolfdog
Me: i mean he was being playful
but i just died
and all I could think was WOLF DOG
Katie: hahaha
i get it EVERY time we walk
either directly or i can hear it being whispered
Me: hahaha
Katie: where are all these people seeing actual wolf dogs???
we live in DC
i should just start saying yes
and that he hunts babies at night for his dinner
Me: hahaha please do
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I spent a lovely Saturday morning catching up on my guilty pleasure TV…
Me: OMG
Maxie: what???
Me: THE MAYOR IS A CHILD MOLESTER
Maxie: who the dc mayor?
Me: THE KIDS IN THE BUS WERE ON HIS LITTLE LEAGUE TEAM
no
veronica mars
duh
Maxie: OH HAHAHA
for a second i was concerned that you cared about politics
it was rocking my world and not in a good way
Me: hahahahahhaha
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lexa told me about the St. Bernard her family had growing up…
Lexa: the st bernard was actually a good dog
Me: they’re so sweet looking
big teddy bears
Lexa: right
she was actually very gentle
only dog we ever had that i fucking liked
Me: hahahaha
Lexa: best part
i dont know if i told you this
my mom has a big RAINBOW STICKER on our car
for the dog
ie
my mom drove us around in a big gay car
in small town RI
Me: hahahahahahahhahahaahaha
in the 90s
before it was cool to be gay
Lexa: right
my mom was a visionary
i call her the harvey milk of north smithfield
Me: hahahaha!
thank god she’s better looking
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life is good when you surround yourself with entertaining people.
Happy Monday Wednesday!!! Hooray short week!
{ 57 comments }
Sometimes I froth at the penis.
Without the scabies.
True story.
God, I am hysterical.
In case it was not clear, the dog’s name was rainbow. Whole lotta gayness in the Lemmonex household.
Haha. Sounds like me and my friends. Love it.
Gchat brings out the gems in everyone.
Check it out…I gave you a Thanksgiving award at my blog…http://perfectlycursedlife.com/?p=1143
its always awesome when your friends make it that easy
Can your friends be my friends?
i yelled at you about the feral cat as well! horrible! i hope you were bombed. ha
Lexa said that like vaginas aren’t supposed to froth.
They are, right?
RIGHT?!?
I suppose that explains these genital warts.
Sigh. I need more of these laughs.
I wish I had more conversations with you. BTW, your Snuggie picture is on my sidebar.
You’re friends are almost as funny as your man.
I’m diggin’ that on Monday it’s Wednesday. It just doesn’t get any better than that. Unless Monday can be Friday, permanently…..but I digress. Sigh.
i can picture that car in north smithfield. i went to school in providence…so just a little ways down the road. those small RI towns love weird stuff like that.
this was a very Shiz Myf Friends Pet Volume post (well except for the Veronica Mars thing)
and thank you Lemmonex, because it was driving me nuts – why is the rainbow sticker for the DOG?!?!
now i get it : )
FROTHING? Ahhhhh. Yeah, that one’s gonna haunt me all day. And I totally fed a kitten outside our hotel room the whole time we were in the Dom Rep. Ah ha
Maybe the folks in Katie’s neighborhood are hallucinating other wolf dogs. I’d get my water checked if I were her. Oh and invest in a decent melee weapon…just in case seeing the imaginary wolf dogs is werewolf related…cause you never can tell.
hahaha, thank you for the Monday (or is it Weds?) laughs
I needed that
I often find wolf dogs playing in my lap. It is terribly distracting.
omg! hahahaha. tummy ache again from laughing too much. =)
On the one hand, feral cats and scabies – ickickick! On the other, there’s medication for everything, so pet whoever you want.
We’re down to the last couple of episodes of Veronica Mars over here. Not sure what we’ll do when it’s all finished. Might have to resort to things like food, sleep and sex.
Gotta love when you have people in your life who makes for great blog fodder!
I posted the hubs conversations today!
Wow – you tamed a wild pussy…..okay, I sunk a new low with pussy jokes.
I really need a job.
or…..
forget it, not going there.
I feel totally ripped off that my hood doesn’t have a wolfdog.
That’s bullshit!
Don’t let anyone make you feel badly about loving on feral cats. They need loves too. Scabies is treatable, anyway. I would have done the same thing. My ex locked me in the car on a trip to Kentucky, because when he pulled into a parking lot to turn around, there were twenty cats behind a dumpster, and I wanted to pet them. That’s part of why I left him.
I’m confused. What does a rainbow sticker have to do w/ a St. Bernard? Am I missing something? It is Monday and all so that happens very easily. Who am I kidding. It happens all the time whether it is Monday or not. Gah! Thank goodness it is a short week!
lemmonex Reply:
November 23rd, 2009 at 2:02 pm
The dogs name was Rainbow.
I had a shepherd/husky cross once and remember the wolfdog comments. As it is, I get the pony joke every time I take Louis anywhere. Very original.
“Me: THE MAYOR IS A CHILD MOLESTER
Maxie: who the dc mayor?”
This is exactly how rumors get started. Fantastic.
My next mission in life. Say something to Lilu inane enough to make it on her “Shiz My Friends Say”.
Accomplish that and my life will be complete.
They have feral dogs in cats in the Dominican Republic and Greece as well and while I visited those places I pretty much could not resist petting them either.
Poor homeless puppies and kitties!
Oh, you Americans and your four day Thanksgiving holidays…CURSES!!!!
These are sooooooo funny – I’m TOTALLY gonna start flagging conversations with my friend Adam – He is HILARIOUS!!!!!!
Love the idea!
Tami G
T minus 36 hours till our VMARS MARATHON!!!!!!
Man, I love big ol’ wolfdogs! Forget you, snooty DCers who disagree! Big dogs are about fifteen times better than their pocket-size contemporaries.
Loved the Veronica Mars one.
Sometimes I too forget that tv is not real life . . .
Maybe I’ll skip the froth next time at Starbucks, but no cutting back on the ‘v’.
she jokes like i don’t actually train him to eat babies when she’s away.
last night… Cody: 1, nextdoor family with 2.5 kids: -1
I think a nice cappuccino-style vagina froth is healthy. Especially when you can take the handle of a spoon and draw a heart or a leaf in it, that’s fancy AND sexy.
Foam, though. Foam is bad. Especially when there’s angry spittle.
I loved the cats that come into our villa to visit during my honeymoon.
We had one cat we named “Cheeto” (he had a small patch of orange fur between his ears that resembled a cheeto resting on his head) that stopped by every morning.
It was like a pet you didn’t have to feed or take care of.
So how did they know the dog was gay? Or did he get gay after he found out his name was Rainbow?
Scabies is no joking matter… unless you tear your skin apart for 3 months and try to burn them out… make your doctor give you treatment twice, only to finally go to another doctor who tells you that you have hives.
But I wouldn’t know anything about that.
jeez, i had no idea scabies was so dire. no wonder my guy friend was so afraid of it: i imagine HE didn’t want to froth at the vagina, either.
Frothing vaginas…Harvey Milk…Rainbows…and Child molesting, you def. keep you convo’s interesting!
Foaming at the vagina.
I can’t compete with these people.
hahahahahaaaa awesome
I am a little bit stuck on you petting those cats, yuck!!! I hope the foaming doesn’t happen (lol)
I was going to ask about the connection between St Bernards and symbols of gay pride. Good thing I read the early comments.
Also, there’s nothing wrong with Veronica Mars. She’s like a sassy Nancy Drew!
I am pretty sure my dog eats babies in the night. He is always really lazy in the morning and takes a massive dump…that, or he has been imitating me.
I just don’t know what to make of your associates.
That’s brave of you with feral cats. You know my high school cafeteria was pretty gross with feral cats jumping on people’s seats ( or tables ) sometime. It grosses me out big time I never ate there and mostly bought food from the eateries across the street.
:p
i covet your friends (not that mine aren’t great .. but oh.my.frack yours are hysterical).
Maybe we should start putting a saddle on Cody. We could start a whole new level of confusion.
You have very funny friends, but I’m sure you knew that!
I pet cats in Jamaica, and now I’m wondering if they were feral?
I pet stray puppies in Cuba and ended up with pink eye. Still totally worth it. Hope your feral animal experience fares you better.
Froth at the -haha – can’t even finish that line…
your friends are HILARIOUS!
Haha! I love how your friends already know that their conversations with you go on your blog
That’s true friendship right there!
Huh, feral cats? I was wondering why my vagina frothing. Mystery solved!!
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