It’s bad enough that everyone is posting about being So Excited! About! Fall! The only reason I’m even slightly glad it’s getting colder is because I’ll reallllllly enjoy being in Costa Rica in a few weeks. After that? Hell. Frozen over HELL until what, May? As much as I try to convince myself that winter’s all about snuggling under a quilt from Gramma with the one I love, giving each other Eskimo kisses while we sip hot chocolate next to a fireplace…
It’s freaking NOT.
Winter sucks. All of it. At least in Massachusetts we could pretend to go skiing on one of our “mountains” every once in a while, which in no way made up for five months of ice/snow/sleet/hail/freezing rain, but at least flying down a hill on a Sno Tube while you fear for your life and the possibility you might lose an eye in the woods at the bottom is kinda fun.
(What can I say. I live dangerously.)
But here in the District, there’s no snow to speak of. It’s just gray and mush and God’s frozen tears covering the land, while I try not to get plowed (twss) by the 42 bus on the walk to work. Because, yanno, the busses are always FULL when it’s cold and gross out, so there’s no point in waiting for one to zip by you.
At least they’re heavier when they do kill you, so it’s over quicker, I’d imagine.
But none of these things account for why I truly hate the weather getting colder. These things are a nuisance, to be sure, but I am a Masshole, after all. I will live.
No, my friends. The reason I REALLY hate the chill of the months that end in ‘Ber, is because of my one true nemesis…
EL PUMPKIN.
I can just hear it mocking me… it and its little green ghouls!
The evil, evil pumpkin and I go way back, to the time it made me hurl an entire Thanksgiving dinner at the tender age of ten. And I ask you to consider, my friends… what was the last thing I’d eaten?!
That’s right, my friends. PUMPKIN PIE. All I saw for the next two hours of food poisony vomiting was that cinnamon-speckled orange goop, mocking me as I prayed to the porcelain gods.
Now the very smell of those repulsive, stringy, George Hamilton-colored innards make me gag and run for cover. I’d rather sit in John Goodman’s fart stank cloud than be in a room with El Pumpkin.
I spend every holiday meal in fear of the end, when an evil convert of El Pumpkin may try to voraciously foist their master’s gelatinous pie form upon me, banking on my good manners that I will be unable to refuse. The pie is the most offensive of El Pumpkin’s pulpy shapes, but not the sneakiest. Oh no, my friends. That honor belongs to the one and only…
PUMPKIN SCENTED CANDLE.
That’s right, people. As if the pumkin pie and the pumpkin cookies and the pumkin bread weren’t bad enough, now El Pumpkin has found a way to infiltrate my BREATHING AIR. He’s gone biological warfare on me, folks.
But alas, it doesn’t end there. As one final grand insult to injury, the corporate demon Starbucks has joined forces with The Dark Pumpkin Lord, and somehow devised an evil potion that has all of the people nearest and dearest to me constantly singing the Pulpy Prince’s praises! The Facebooks and the Twitterings are haunted by one deadly phrase… Pumpkin Spiced Latte. It would seem that only a few strong souls are able to resist its nutmeggy charms… and we are so overwhelmingly outnumbered, the fight ahead of us seems impossible.
But somehow, some way… I must rid the world of the mind controlling chemical “Pumpkin Spiced Latte,” and free my friends from the control of the evildoer, so that we may live our sad little wintery lives in peace once more.
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I wish someone would bring me a pumpkin spice latte. Not that I could smell or taste it.
*sniffle*
Despite my undying hatred of it, I would bring you one if I could. <3
You hate pumpkin?
You’re out of your gourd.
Ohhhhhhhhh. You’re so punny!
Down here in FL? It’s chilly in the morning, then spikes back up to 80 degrees about 11am. So we all get dressed for “winter” then we are all sweating our asses off by mid day. Year after year, we never learn.
I’ve never tried the pumpkin spiced latte and have NO plans to try it any time soon. It sounds disgusting. So, I’m with you on that one!
Exactly. Don’t cross to the dark side!
Umm
I don’t know how to say this so I’ll just come right out and say it.
I sent you down a wedding gift for your marriage to Maxie. A big box of pumpkin EVERYTHING.
I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.
Luckily, it probably won’t get there because there’s a pumpkin clock that ticks.
You Americans are really anal about letter bombs, you know?
If you really blew up a pumpkin, you’re on my side. Win.
I’ve never met anyone who so vehemently opposed the pumpkin. Just one more sign—like we needed another—to prove your supreme uniqueness…
“Unique” is right.
I too hate all things pumpkin except carving them up. But pumpkin flavored anything makes me want to gag – barf!
What are Murray and Axe going to be for halloween?
I was thinking something like this…
I’m drinking a pumpkin spice latte right now.
But I LOATHE the cold weather. Fall is pretty and all but it really is the evil precursor to winter. It blows.
This is what I’m saying! xoxo
what about pumpkin scented underwear?
B would never get another blow jay.
I don’t hate pumpkins, but pumpkin pie is probably one of my least favorites. I love me some pumpkin seeds and pumpkin bread. Now I’m thinking about pie. I want blueberry pie.
Also I hate snow. I hate driving in the snow. If I can stay indoors and be warm, the snow isn’t so bad. But the minute I have to go outside, I get mean.
Driving in ice and snow is TREACHEROUS. This is why I’m a walker.
hahahaha! I love this! Starbucks has gone to The Dark Side. You should totally send them this post. I mean it.
I’m pretty sure I’d go “missing” if I did.
Why do you keep telling me things that you hate? you know this is only encouragement for possible Christmas gifts.
Which is why I’m getting you THIS.
I hate pumpkin pie.
Coconut Creme is the Best.
And hair.
I do love me some coconut… shampoo. That’s what you were going for, right?
@moog..ahahahahahhahahaha
@Haley…right? always wear a tank top under anything else you have going in Fl until February.
But I was going to tell you, Lilu, that you could move to Tallahassee. It’s the seat of government here and there would prob be jobs for you. Just don’t go any further south unless you want it to suck.
I dig you so much, it made me sad for a sec how much I love pumpkin..I made soup last week, and I’m making traditional pinto’s with red sauce and pumpkin next week. But I despise pie or coffee or candles. It’s the fakery. Gross.
Agreed. The fakery is even WORSE because it’s trying to BE like something so vomitous.
So I take it you won’t be joining Linus and Charlie Brown in the pumpkin patch this year?
Since I class pumpkins as a vegetable and thus not edible in my world, with you all the way on the rid the world of the pumpkin campaign. I would probably take it further and wipe out all vegetables, unless used for decorative purposes or made into fuel….
I was almost going to say, that’s my one exception for pumpkin loving- the Peanuts. God, I love them.
YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK.
Right on, soul sistah.
I have never tasted pumpkin.
You are a lucky, lucky girl.
Don’t be hating the pumpkin spiced latte at Starbucks, the pie I understand (it sucks and I make someone else bring one to my house because I won’t cook it), but the latte is yummy and helps me to remember it’s the beginning of Fall.
Btw, don’t you have the snuggle?
Oh, I do… it just doesn’t make winter better than summer!
oh man, i LOVE pumpkin ANYTHING! it’s one of my favorite parts of Autumn! i can’t join your crusade but if you ever wanna join up to bring down “licorice” flavored things i’ll be first in line!
As long as it’s black, which also makes me gag.
Strawberry licorice is my friend, though. We go way back.
I’m with you – the winters here are just sucktacular
But I do enjoy pumpkin flavored everythings – except candles. Those? Those are just gross.
I forgive you because you’re pretty.
So…I totally get you not liking pumpkin pie. DUDE, pies should be made from berries or chocolate. THAT is it!
But, I love pumpkin bread. AND Yankee Candle Pumpkin Spiced candles, they are my fav this time of year. Sorry! I know, we don’t have to be friends no mo if you don’t want to!
But, I still love you!
I love you too… just a little less.
I kid, I kid.
what is the scientific reason when you vomit something (food like) you no longer want it in your mouth ever again.
But after hurling all night from drinking, the next day vodka seems like a swell idea?
I know theres science there, but I dislike things sciency, and just want to know why.
I dislike all things sciency, too, but not as much as math. Unless it’s Number Munchers!
HATE the cold. HATE IT.
What about apples? Apple candles, apple pie, apple cider? That’s another one of my fall favorites.
Apple EVERYTHING for life!!! I love it!
I totally mentioned P*mpkin Sp*ced L*tte in my last post. Sorry about that, good buddy.
I forgive you because the bleeping out was so darn funny.
Any doubt that you were the true Messiah has vanished. For years now I have been searching for someone who shares my hatred of all this seasonal pumpkin shit. Why does everyone get soooooo excited about it???
TWINSIES!!!!!!!!!
While pumpkins arent as delicious as milksteak with a side of delicious jelly beans, they are still pretty delicious. I know how you feel though, I feel the same way about all things Vodka.
Milksteak. I TOTALLY know what that is!
Just A Girl Reply:
October 21st, 2009 at 8:51 am
Matthew, you shut your whore mouth! Vodka?! How can you not love vodka? You’re possessed by the devil, I fucking KNOW IT.
the only thing that feels grosser than pumpkin pie is flan. desserts with that texture make me think i’m eating cellulite, which is sort of disturbing.
but you’re still a communist for not loving pumpkin spice lattes…
Omg. I vommed at the cellulite, but that is it EXACTLY.
Uhmm so, here up North, we have plenty of snow ‘cuz ya know.. we’re special like that. And it freaking sucks. I hate it. I don’t ski .. and it’s not like I go tube sliding every weekend, ya know. Can’t remember the last time I went actually. But my point is : It’s cold and it sucks. Smart thing of you to book a Costa Rica faboush trip !!
I’ve never tried a Pumpkin Spiced Latte .. but all this pumpkin talk now is kinda making me want to. Perhaps that was not the point of your post, right ? Oupsie.
Don’t do it! Stay on the side of light and goodness!
Jeez… you!! You must start immediately to look into some way to make money off of your creativity – if you’re into that. Luv you!!
Working on it…
*takes another hit from the bong*
you wanna hit this? it’s pumpkin flavored
10 points for creativity, but minus a million for THE PUMPKIN.
I hate winter. I hate the fall. I hate cold!
How is that for putting a stop to the joyfulness
You are a giver!
hahahahaha taco kitties
Can’t you just see it?
Um, yeah. I am not friends with El Pumpkin. Which, in turn, makes you and I much better friends, no?
BFFies for life!
Give me a pumkin spice latte or give me death. Sorry, kiddo…I love it.
I forgive you because you are already dying right now.
Yo Lilu, I think you’re great and I’mma let you finish, but pumpkin pie is the best pie of all time. OF ALL TIME!!!!
Okay, that was freaking hilarious. That Kanye joke NEVER gets old for me.
I agree with you on the Fall, while it’s pretty for like a week, all you have to look forward to is Winter right behind it and I don’t dig on being cold. And living in NoVA sucks b/c the little bit of snow we do get just makes people lose all ability to drive and I still have to take my happy ass to work regardless of how much snow is on the ground. Oh not to mention that it’s dark when I leave my house and when I come home and my desk doesn’t have a window so for 6 months I live in darkness.
Okay rant over.
I do however lurve pumpkins
Oh, the darkness! I forgot about that… it makes me so sad to go whole days inside without seeing sunlight. Poo on winter!
you’re such a buzzkill. pshhhh.
happy fall, you hater, you!
)
You got some joy on my shirt.
Umm.. pumpkin is one of my favorite smells/tastes/coffee drinks/smooshy things to touch in the world. And fall is the bomb. I suppose I wouldn’t like fall as much if it meant freezing my ass every day…
We are no longer friends.
…but I love pumpkins
Good. Then go marry it and live on a desert island with it AWAY FROM ME.
Just kidding. I heart you.
i won’t hold this against you because you mentioned MA in this post. and i heart you.
You’re pretty.
I love the taste of pumpkin. It’s like the smell of home. Carved scary jack ‘o lanterns….not so much.
They are one and the same!! Don’t be fooled!
Still better than Blumpkin scented candles…
Oh, GAG.
Also, well played.
I’m that way with Madonna’s Ray Of Light cd.
Listened to that garbage every day on my way to to work while trying to hold back the Vom’s due to morning sickness many years ago.
I often fantasize about telling Madonna to her face that her music literally makes me sick.
I dunno. I’d love to, but I’d be afraid of her decking me with her ENORMOUS MAN ARMS.
Eff: fall, winter, snow, cold, driving in the snow, people (not related to the post, I’m just saying)
But I loooove pumpkin so much. I have an idea – I’ll take your share! Then you never have to be near it and I’ll get all the lattes and pies and soup and seeds and candles and bread that I can handle. Because I’m selfless.
You are *such* a giver.
What I love about you is that you don’t sugar coat!! I am so sick of hearing the poet nonsense about fall too!! BLAH!!!
Sugar coating is for wussies.
mmmmmmmmmm….pumpkin pie….and pumpkin fudge…and pumpkin soup…i love pumpkin…
You are dead to me.
Winter can suck it.
So can pumpkin spiced lattes but I do love roasted pumpkin seeds. I grew up eating them but never came across pumpkins. They aren’t too big in Turkey.
Okay, I didn’t say anything in the post because it would have sort of destroyed my credibility… but I love the seeds, too. DON’T TELL ANYONE.
PQ Reply:
October 21st, 2009 at 9:24 am
Your secret is safe with me.
I didn’t even make the connection between pumpkin seeds that I grew up eating and pumpkins until this year. No joke.
It makes sense, honestly. One is pure and goodness, the other unadulterated EVIL.
bethie Reply:
October 21st, 2009 at 10:31 am
I like the seeds too, because they are just salty roasted goodness. Not mushy orange glop. In other news it’s write like a 4th grader day for me.
Why didn’t you dot your “i”s with hearts?
Though I disagree with you about pumpkin, is great to FINALLY see a blog post about someone complaining about the cold weather. THERE IS NOTHING GOOD ABOUT THE COLD WEATHER. I can live my whole life without another fall and winter season, and I would die happy.
The one thing that keeps me going? Off to Rio (and it’s summer there!) in two months.
Sunny sunny sunny! Oh, I can’t wait.
Pumpkin is to you what Mario Lopez is to me.
Oh, and I know you totally have a ton of Snuggie pics you can send me for the Snuggie Picture of the Week.
Oh, I do! EXCELLENT.
you are quickly becoming my favorite person ever. pumpkin pie was never the same in our house after my younger brother went on a pumpkin vomitous rampage down the hallway one thanksgiving. i sort of feel the same way about hot dogs…he oddly seemed to be throwing those up all the time too when he was little.
is it gross that despite both making me want to throw up in my mouth a little…i still eat them? not together though. that would just be disgusting.
I once went without hotdogs for a couple years because our bio teacher told us what was in them.
I got over it. I don’t blame you one big… pig is just too delicious.
Pumpkin spice lattes tastes the way I suspect ass tastes. Disgusting, stanky, letstrythisoncecauseI’mfeelingexperimentalandwe’reincollegeandthisistoproveiloveyou ass. Too much?
Oh, hell no. Juuuuuuuuuuust right.
Ummmm, I refer you to this post: http://www.mitchellhislop.com/first-pumpkin-spice-latte-of-the-year-hello-fall/
You now have an official nemesis…
I just vommed.
Mitchell Hislop Reply:
October 21st, 2009 at 9:31 am
im trying to find a way to get you a gift card that can only be used for pumpkin spice lattes…
I will cut you.
Seriously, why do people turn into meth heads around flavored/scented pumpkin shit? I just really don’t get it. Thank you for setting things straight.
I’m here all blog.
I really don’t like pumpkin spice flavor (especially in beer. Have you seen this swill?), but regular pumpkin flavor without all the spicy churchin’ up is fine by me. Just please, PLEASE tell me you’re OK with eggnog. That way we can still be friends.
As long as there’s rum in it, hell to the yes.
I agree winter does suck. I’m trying to think of ways to make it better. The holidays only last so long. Once January comes around I am miserable. I’m thinking about extending my birthday to include the entire month of January and having summer themed parties in my apartment complete with margaritas and homemade salsa.
And while I love pumpkin I will be sure to never bring any pumpkin typed product into your presence.
I’m down with that. Especially if I can come to one of your margarita parties.
I love Pumpkin Pie so I will eat yours. However I have my own Pumpkin nemesis. The Pumkin Martini!
Whoever thought putting pie filling of any kind in perfectly good Vodka was INSANE, not to mention the weird frappe like consistancy it has. Yuck! Frappes should be Frappes and Martinis should be Martinis. Never the twain should meet.
Oh, SO wrong. That’s like vodka and dairy… it just shouldn’t happen!
I definitely fall into the category of being happy about the snuggliness of fall/winter. (Okay, not winter – just fall.) And I’m okay with that.
But I’m still jealous of your Costa Rica trip.
Okay, okay. I might like the snuggling A LITTLE BIT.
But it’s better on a tropical getaway.
I’m more of an eggnog latte kinda of gal. Funny you should mention ‘El pumpkin’ because I just bought a mexican pumpkin candle. What’s the difference between pumpkin and mexican pumpkin? duh, one’s mexican.
Does it have a sombrero?
I once ended a date with a guy because he ordered pumpkin curry and then picked out all of the pumpkin. Although, in my defense, I didn’t, like, pick the sodden chunks o’ pumpkin from his plate and consume them myself, so can we agree that I am overwhelmingly pro-pumpkin but not like totally pumpkin-obsessed?
God, though. I could really go for a wedge of pumpkin pie now…
Did you get up mid-date and storm out? Because I gotta respect sticking to your principals.
Hmmm, maybe don’t come to my house during the winter months. All I do is bake pumpkin shit. It’s really my only motivation to get out of bed in the morning.
As long as you occasionally throw something cinnamon raisin-y my way, we’ll call it a draw.
I hate the smell of raw/fresh pumpkin. It’s gross, and it’s one of the reasons why we never have jack o’lanterns at our house
Also not a fan of pumpkin scented candles/soaps, or the pumpkin spice latte (at least, I don’t think I’m a fan – I’ve never tried it, because it just sounds yuck to me)! But I do like pumpkin baked goods 
Of course, that’s probably because I’ve never thrown them up!
Someday, a pumpkin cookie will get you. And you will be sorry!
pumpkin doesn’t seem to bother me the way it does you. but i hate the cold. visit me in AZ
I would, but I’m following a new rule that all travel expenditures must involve a beach in some way.
I am an emissary of the Pumpkin Lord. I offer you this story of our kin hoping you will empathize with our cause, and come to the delicious side.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-1aui-wluE
Neverrrrrrr!!! *struggles valiantly*
Oh, I do love me some punkins. But I’m with you on winter sucking… as far as I’m concerned, not even the holiday season is enough to cancel out the fact that my entire fucking country is a sheet of ice from late October until early June.
Le grrr.
I know. After growing up in New England I really shouldn’t be complaining about DC winters.
This is how I feel about DC summers (THE WORST EVER) and flan.
Flan literally makes me want to hurl vomit at people I don’t like. And same reason–I got super sick on it when I was little. Actually I don’t even think I ate it, I just LOOKED at it and got super sick.
But although DC winters suck–there are no cuter clothes than fall/winter clothes…I love me cowlneck sweaters and skinny jeans tucked into equestrian boots and big fluffy scarves and fitted peacoats..AHHH the fashion!! I love it.
And plus, no more humidity and no more heat. As a pale girl (who just had surgery for skin cancer and stays so far out of the sun its scary)–summer literally to me equals ugly, uncomfortable, and dangerous. I do love the beach though….and summer in normal places where its actually warm and pretty.
DC is a hellhole in winter and summer. Ugh I am getting mad just thinking about it.
But, I am also a winter baby so I love the holidays and Halloween!! Dressing up!! Ahhhh love it.
But commuting in the brutal cold? The worst. Even worse (gasp than DC humidity in the summers of hell we get).
The humidity’s really only late August. So yeah, August and the ‘Bers… can SUCK IT.
KassyK Reply:
October 21st, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Ugh, I wish it was only late August.
I think the past 2 years its only been August with the hell humidity but notoriously DC has the worst summers–humid and nasty hot for 3 straight months. As a curly girl that means I am wearing a braid and massive hairspray for 2 months.
And ugly ugly ugly time.
I’ve been here for 14 years almost on and off and I literally DREAD the DC humidity…I think my friends from NYC refuse to come here because of it. But our slushy nasty winters really do match our nasty humid summers.
WHY CAN WE NOT HAVE SPRING?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY?!
I am so with you on this one. I don’t do pumpkin anything. The candles are the worst for me…ugh.
Jack-o-lanterns are fun cause you get to stab them. But I make someone else gut them cause that shit’s gross.
The seeds are tasty though. Perhaps we share a brain?
That would explain why I’m having so much trouble getting any (real) work done…
I HATE HATE HATE PSL…. I worked for Starbucks for 2 yrs and by the end of the 3rd week PS was BACK in the store I wanted to puke every time it was ordered! I also hated when people would ask “when will PS be back?”! I hate pumpkin too… The haters need to unite!!
KS
See?! And you had to work with it first hand! I KNEW IT WAS EVIL.
This post saddened me. I was also impressed that there was a George Hamilton AND John Goodman reference however.
Even in my hatorade, there are nuggets of joy.
You should move to Canada. Our Thanksgiving is already over. Not a pumpkin pie to be seen anywhere in the land!
That’s a stronger argument than the whole G.W. thing.
I called Dell to see if my scroll down button was under warranty. They said it was unless I was trying to comment on LiLu’s blog. So don’t tell them you saw me. I totally like pumpkin pie if its cooked right, but the smell of raw pumpkin guts makes me wanna hurl. Weird huh.
Just click the “add one” link right before the comments! It jumps you straight down to the bottom.
And that’s not weird at all- I’m the same way with tomatoes.
Oh wait… I’M weird. Can’t help you.
I am with you 1000%. My family has clearly been possessed by El Pumpkin so they bring him in pie form to ALL family functions. Not only does he haunt my autumns, but spring and summer as well.
Ugh. I would have disowned them by now.
“The Dark Pumpkin Lord”…LOL!
What’s Harry Potter?
I like pecan pie better anyway
Now THAT, I can get behind.
I feel your pain.
I live in Canada, but the part of Canada that doesn’t get Canadian Winters. We get the winter you describe – mush, sleet, grey. It’s awful. At least if we got snow, I could be all, “we have seasons!” but we don’t. We have sun, and rain, and that is all. Except the rain lasts from October to May, and everyone on the bus smells like a damp sheep’s crotch.
I tried a pumpkin spiced latte this morning, and it tasted like what happens when you drink too much milk and get those bubbly half-puke burps that burn your esophagus. I agree with you. Those drinks fucking suck. I returned it and they gave me a hot chocolate.
There are good things you can do with a pumpkin, however. Pie is not really one of them. Come for a road trip? Visit Vancouver? Let me help you?
DAMP SHEEP’S CROTCH???
I love you.
There are gods of porcelain?
So that’s where I’ve been going wrong, instead directing all my prayers towards the god of the bogroll holder.
You can worship two deities. I won’t tell.
I will stab my pumpkin mercilessly in your honor as I carve it. As for eating pumpkin, NO THANKS. Pumpkins are for hacking, not digesting. Sheeez.
I’m a Hallooweeeeeeeeeen fanatic, so it makes my heart cry deep, dark, Tonya Harding tears to hear of your loathing of fall.
Boo.
Hoo.
Winters gray and mush always make me feel like I’ve gained 10lbs.
I hate anything that tastes like pumpkin. It’s unfortunate that the summer’s over, which means the end of watermelon beer, and now my roommate is stocking up on pumpkin beer. Blargh.
Here is my problem: Fall is about the only time we have decent sunshine in my neck of the woods, so I kind of like that BUT I know that the damn WINTER is coming and I hate WINTER hate it, oh, and spiced pumpkin latte sounds disgusting, just disgusting.
You may have just convinced me to go get a pumpkin spice latte at lunch. You know, I’d be ridding the world of evil jack-’o-lanterns … just doin’ my part.
i LOVE pumpkin flavored… anything! it’s the only reason i love autumn really. but i know what you mean about cold weather. seriously, winter time is the one thing i dislike about new york. which is why i will forever be a sunny california girl. :]
Winter DOES suck. And what’s worse is that THERE IS NO FALL IN CANADA. It goes summer, winter, with no time in between. And summer was barely two months this year. W T F.
Luckily, I will never, ever, ever have to live through another Canadian winter because… I am going to Singapore!!! Take that, winter.
Pumpkin Spiced Latte. Gag me.
Oh goodness!! My sister has ice cream sandwiches, you have pumpkin EVERYTHING >.<
At least you know what makes you sick!!
I am totally with you on the pumpkin thing. My holiday treats are caramel apples and pecan pies, no pumpkin pie here. And I am already spamming Starbucks with tweets about the return of salted caramel hot chocolate (aka liquid orgasms). Get over those damn PSLs already, Starbucks.
Winter does suck. I am only a few hours from DC and I think we have a similar season: cold, wet, miserable. Never enough snow to be fun, just enough to fuck up the workday commute.
I’m not a fan of pumpkin flavored things either (save pumpkin cheesecake because, really, i can eat almost any kind of cheesecake). But I don’t have a horrific story to tell about it. I just think it’s gooey and gross.
What about Sweet Potato Pie? Too close for comfort? I’m not into pumpkin infiltrating my food, coffee, or candles. You will be very interested to know, my mother (the baker) told me that there was a shortage of pumpkins last season. So that means there will be a shortage of canned pumpkin for Thanksgiving AND Christmas. She vehemently urged me to stocked up on canned pumpkin.
I’ll never give up the pumpkin. NEVER!
I can however relate to the Thanksgiving upchuckapalooza as that is the same reason why the very smell of sweet potato turns my stomach.
crazy that you hate pumpkins…sorry about your bad luck…cuz a pumpkin latte is where it is AT
and i moved to park city from the boston area to rid myself of the “gray” as i now affectionately call it.
But seriously, tell us how you really feel. I love pumpkins but I think I was brainwashed as a child since my birthday is on Halloween. They also trained me to love the color orange. Thank goodness I have the right skin tone for it.
Winter Sucks Rotten Eggs.
I had a Pumpkin Spice Latte yesterday. It was HEAVENLY!!!!
OMG, you would DIE if you entered my house, which reeks of pumpkin spice. I love the pumpkin with a passion I usually reserve for Don Draper.
I HATE winter. So THANK YOU!!! People seem to think that coming from Scotland you get lots of snow. NOT in Central Scotland. If it DOES snow, it lasts for approximately two hours before turning to mush. OR it waits until APRIL to snow. Which quite patently is NOT winter…
Psh, you’re speaking my language. I loathe pumpkin – especially since I’m kind of allergic to it. And winter blows. That’s why I moved south…
You need to make the move to Australia! Not only do we not celebrate Halloween – so not a single weird carved pumpkin in sight – it’s also almost summer! Besides, half the country doesn’t really suffer from ‘winter’… You could be blissfully happy on our shores – if the accent doesn’t drive you insane!
you’ve gone and done it lilu…I don’t think that you have ever had me laughing this hard!
I wouldn’t piss on a flaming pumpkin to put it out. A) because then it would smell like burning pumpkin and piss and B) because that’s how much I don’t like pumpkin.
So, you know how you hate pumpkin? Yeah? Well that’s the way I love pumpkin. So you are hereby UNinvited to any and all parties I will ever invite you to because 1) my pumpkin candle obsession is crazy out of hand and 2) I even now just found the most amazing pumpkin spray from Pier 1 Imports and spray it like 12893450193824 times a day all thru the house. Even the dogs have started to hate the smell. So this time of year totally rocks for me because not only to I LOOOOOVE the cold and the fall leaves and the snow (which never falls in this pit town i live in), but because the pumpkin flavors come out in buttloads. And *I* cannot get enough. Pumpkin Spice Latte, Pumpkin muffins, pumpkin bread, pumpkin orange julius (oh my yummyness), pumpkin deserts and of course pumpkin pie. Shit, now I am hungry.
I’ll agree with you about artificial pumpkin shit (here’s looking at you Starbucks…), but hopefully you’ll one day get over your disgust of actual pumpkin, because next to the bean, it’s the second best super-food in my opinion. Chock full of fiber and vitamins and super versatile — it can be sweet and savory! (I hope you didn’t just barf…)
Or, you can skip American fall all together by getting down to the SHem (the Southern Hemisphere), where the Starbucks’ are filled with plain old lattes
what is this winter you speak of? i’m pretty sure we don’t get that in LA. but pumpkins we do, so you might have to take caution if you ever visit.
LOL, all the food bloggers I read are all “pumpkin this!” “pumpkin that!” so this is really refreshing
Thanks for keeping it real.
I’m surprised Pumpkin Spiced Latte isn’t a trending topic on twitter.
I can’t wait to hear about your Costa Rica trip. I am going in December, so freaking excited!
I liked pumpkin a lot more before getting smashed on draft pumpkin ale this weekend. Blergh.
I HATE PUMPKIN TOO! All of it! Everyone in my family loves my grandmother’s pumpkin pie and I try it EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. at Thanksgiving just to appease her, but I HATE it. And one of my best friends is OBSESSED with all things pumpkin. I can’t handle it.
Also, my favorite part of this post? “Now the very smell of those repulsive, stringy, George Hamilton-colored innards make me gag and run for cover.” Perfect analysis of the color!
It’s going to sound weird considering the assortment, but this is one of your odder posts. I had an incident with pumpkin pie too, though. Always head for the pecan.
Dear winter – You can suck my big white ass. I hate you.
Dear pumpkins – Meh. I don’t care about you one way or the other. But I hate that my boss makes me go to a pumpkin pie party so I think I’d go on the dislike side easier than the like. Kthxbai.
Dear LiLu – Love you, mean it!
Finally someone who shares my hatred of pumpkins! They are disgusting, filled with icky sloppy orangey death, and they smell like yesterday’s ass. My mother used to make pumpkin pies for Thanksgiving, until she got sick of me “dropping” them on the floor or “accidentally” putting them under the turkey pan, when traveling to other people’s house. Inconsiderate? Sure. But really, she was inconsiderate first because my hatred of pumpkins is rooted in a childhood horror. My mother was making jack-o-lanterns and I curiously and innocently tried to look into the bowl next to her when they attacked me and covered me head to toe in heinous, gloppy pumpkin innards. Shudder.
I’m so glad there’s someone else out there — and an American!!! — that doesn’t quite ‘get’ the massive overestimation of the pumpkin’s tastiness/texture/smell/etc.
We don’t have pumpkin shit over here in Europe. For a reason!
I will forever see pumpkins in a different light after reading this!
But Fall means boots! And scarves! And fingerless (useless but cute) gloves, and visiting the pumpkin patch and going apple picking.
Ew. Well, not ew to the boots and scarves and anything useless but cute as those are my FAVORITE, but the outdoorsy shit nasomuch…
I don’t like pumpkin pie. I don’t like any kind of mushy fruit, I have a fear. But I want to bathe in a Pumpkin Spice Latte.
Also? I love and miss you.
I love pumpkin. Today I met a person who didn’t like it. You are the second person.
You are both weirdos.
Pumpkin is bomb. (as in good, at least that’s what the young kids tell me it means)
They really really do smell foul. All things Pumpkin. Blech.
So if we name our new round orange ball of a kitten ‘Pumpkin’, you’ll be a bit upset, hmm?
The way that you feel about all things pumpkin is the way that I feel about milk. It’s revolting. And it didn’t even make me vomit!
On the bright side, pumpkin seeds are pretty delightful.
This was one funny post…and I’m sorry to say but I had a laugh at the expense of your trauma (I know, it’s pure evil but I swear I didn’t bring a pumpkin with me) Now I’m one of those jerkfaces who loves Fall AND pumpkins, but I’m NOT one of those kind of jerkfaces who tries to make a convert out of those on the other side of the Dark Pumpkin Lord. Each to their own and perhaps I’ll be sitting with my face all screwed up when summer hits and you’re out relishing in the heat while I sit miserable in the sweltering temperatures that seek to make my life a living hell. I don’t do well in heat, I melt, although I do enjoy the odd spot of sun on holiday, I want it the heat to just stay ON HOLIDAY and not follow me home like some serial stalker.
We all have those things in life that make us chuck up! x
This is truly one of the most messed up posts i have read in a long time and i mean that in the best possible way!
I can relate to everything you wrote and i havent’t even had pumpkin pie and now i expect i never will.
(It is not that big in Sweden)
You are followed
did you ever tell us what you were going to be for halloween?
Personally, I don’t like the colder weather either.
As for the pumpkin nemesis: you poor, poor girl.
I like my pumpkin spice candle but pumpkin foods and drinks….NO THANK YOU!!!
I like my pumpkin spice candle but pumpkin food and drinks….no thank you!
I’m with you on the hatred towards PSL… EW
yummm pumpkin spice latte
Also, my blog url quit so please follow me at my new: http://girlfromaroundtheway.blogspot.com.
Following you from my new profile too
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