As a woman in a somewhat functional relationship, there are times when *gasp* girlfriends come to ME for dating advice.
Sometimes they even do it sober.
(I know, right?!)
Anyhoo, while it may seem that I am old and married and perpetually on our couch curled up in my pj’s having fart-off contests with B, there was a time- not so long ago, even- when I too was a single gal fighting my way through the “scene”.
When I think about my dating history, well… let’s just say there’s a lot to learn from. While most of the guys I dated were, I believe, good guys at heart, they were lacking in a myriad of different ways when it came to true partner material. Not so long ago I considered what my Dealbreakers for Friendship have evolved to be, over many years of befriending the good, the bad and the ugly. What would that list look like if I were to create it for a relationship? When would I tell a girlfriend to cut and run, based on my own experiences?
*Keep in mind these are meant to be for that first year or so, when you’re deciding whether this hot tamale really has the legs to make it… not after you’ve been together for five years and are hitched with munchkins. That is wayyyy out of my league.
Thank the baby Jeebus Amen.*
And so. My “red flags” that would (now) send me running for the hills, were I to be thrust (TWSS) back into The Game We Call Dating…
Get TFO (The Fuck Out) If…
You like his family and friends more than him.
Alone time with him stresses you out.
If he admits your ass looks fat in that.
You go on vacation for the first time… and it is a huge, enormous, fail. (If you can’t make it through a long weekend of traveling… you can’t make it at all.)
He puts the TP on so it comes out the bottom instead of over the top. (No explanation necessary.)
You have ever been truly frightened that he would do something to purposefully harm you, physically or otherwise.
If he spends more time primping than you, and by extension…
You and your friends joke-about-but-secretly-truly-worry that he might be gay.
You go a week without sex… and don’t notice. (Remember, this is for new-ish couples only. If you’ve got a couple of toddlers, from what I hear, once a week would be porn style.)
If you can’t let your inner dork/freak fly when you’re alone.
If he avoids meeting the people you love most.
If he believes you when you say you don’t want anything for your birthday.
If he doesn’t make you laugh. Like, all the time and stuff.
If you think, deep down, that he would probably bone your best friend, given the right circumstances.
If you feel like you pay for more than he does. (Disclaimer: unless you make a significant amount more than him.) (Disclaimer not valid if he’s unemployed- and we’re talking real trailer park trash unemployed, not “the economy is flushed” unemployed.)
If he lets you down instead of building you up, a la Mr. Astley.
And, finally…
If you’re unhappy more often than you’re happy.
This is obviously just one chick’s perspective. Unfortunately I’ve never been a dude, so I can’t speak for them, but I’m pretty sure the main two are “stops giving beejays” and “keep talking”, yes?
P.S. The gorgeous and unbelievably adorable Ben Boudreau of No Ordinary Rollercoaster has made me my very own personalized vlog in response to my question to him:
“Is it possible for you to *not* melt men’s- and Kelly Clarkson’s- hearts worldwide with those big puppy dog eyes?”
It may or may not involve the word “schnookums”…
LOVE. IN THE FACE.
{ 1 trackback }
{ 122 comments }
YOU GO. I flip if the TP is coming out the bottom instead of the top. That’s a FAIL.
Who the hell does that anyways?
COMMUNISTS. That’s who.
I just want you to know that I saw the Rick Astley CD at my parent’s place on the weekend, and I came really close to stealing it. For you, my love. I almost committed a crime for you. Although I’m not sure that stealing a Rick Astley CD can be considered a crime. And it’s not likely that my parents would press charges.
Two days…
It’s okay. I have it on (both) my iPods. The Rick Astley dance party WILL commence in approximately 56 hours.
Well, it’s a good thing the boy and I have been together for 6 years… otherwise, I’d be running. It’s a good list though. If a guy is acting like that within the first year, within 6 years, either him or the girl will be dead.
Exactly. This is for newbies only. After that, you’re on your own… because so am I.
Um…
You put the toilet paper thing higher on the list than the physical abuse thing.
Which is funny because on my list of ‘reasons to stick with a girl’ is “Values pooping more than how hard you can whap her.”
B is so lucky.
To be fair, you poop at least ONCE A DAY. Physical abuse is probably like a monthly occurrence, right?
(Where’s my handbasket to hell… I know it’s around here somewhere.)
Love the vlog and the adorable pup!
And I think you give good advice. #1 was an important one that I bet a lot of people wouldn’t think to mention. I dated a guy once who I didn’t want to break up with cuz I loved his family. Him- not so much.
#1 was the first one I thought of, actually… that was sort of a recurring problem for me.
That is a good list, I actually have an ex who slept with my best friend when given the chance, I was so stupid…
Thank goodness for karma… she’ll take care of that for ya.
I’m old and married, so I shouldn’t comment.
However, the “would totally bone you friend” thing, pretty much applies to all guys, given the right circumstances.
They may not admit it, but it’s there.
I will have to respectfully entirely disagree.
great list, sometimes us crazy single ladies forget what we deserve when it comes to the mens.
So true.
I’ll add to this: if he’s playing games, or he didn’t call you because he was “too busy”
When a guy truly likes you, he will let you know, he WILL call you, he WILL want to see you, he WILL make you aware that he likes you.
If you start making excuses for his bad behavior, run. The right guy won’t put you through that.
Thinking of the times I was that girl, making excuses, dealing with BS… And now I see my friends wondering the same thing, and it’s SO clear that they’re not interested.
This is the key thing that is absolutely impossible to convey. Sigh.
If he doesn’t make an effort with your family.
If he wears a class ring.
If, every time you accidentally leave something at his place (we’re talking toothbrush, pair of shorts, earrings), he immediately brings it back to you.
If you ask him to do something on a Friday night and he says, “Could be. Let me see what else is going on.”
Oh there are so many that are…all my ex-boyfriend. FAIL.
(My, uh, new boyfriend is GREAT.)
Class ring? They still make those?
Ditto on the TP. Or even if they can’t put a new roll on!!
Oh, crap. B NEVER puts the new roll on. But I kind of think it’s cute. Besides, what else would we fight about? Gotta have make up sex somehow…
I like how happiness is at the bottom.
That’s what I think every time I start on a gallon of ice cream.
It’s never there.
I love my wife.
She sounds like a good egg.
I’m going to add – stealing my pillows. Screw the blanket, I need my pillows and if the guy steals them, knowing I love certain pillows, well, he’s an ASSHAT….and out the door.
I’m just adding this to your list (I don’t know about the TP thing…I never know which way I put it on). True story – guy I met online when in the dating scene asked me the one question: Under or Over? How the hell was I to know he was talking about TP and answered it differently.
We didn’t end up a couple, but he is a friend. How could he not with that humor.
AHAHAHAHA!!! Omg. Love it.
Dude you are so right. I need to print this out and stick it in my wallet.. and think rationally when dating. Especially when it comes to looking for gay tendencies. I always seem to fall for the gays. Something about them seeing musicals with me…
And the shopping! Don’t forget the shopping.
So buying you a Rick Astley is out of the question then? Hmm…oops!
Never. Just make sure it’s life sized and won’t ever give me up.
These things seem so simple and OBVIOUS, but why can’t I think of them at the time? I’m a complete fail at dating. It makes me crazy. And if you haven’t seen Ben’s vlog on Bad Mutha Fudruckers, get thee there posthaste. He dances. In a SNUGGIE!
Omg. Running, not walking…
It’s also really important to remember his name.
If you can’t, and you’ve been on 2 dates already, game over.
True story.
I’ll go along with this, but only because I just barely managed to remember B’s name right before our second date.
Don’t tell him.
Oh, crap.
Another one is he always sees you during the week ie you are not worthy of his weekend time.
Or, only for a booty call during weekend time.
I agree with all of these whole heartedly except for one I had a hard time w/ but only, ONLY at the very beginning of my relationships. The whole can’t let your inner dork/freak fly when you’re alone thing took me about 2 months w/ my hubs to finally be able to openly do it b/c when you are 1st getting to know a person you don’t necessarily know if they will freak out at your nerdiness or be turned off by it. I slowly edged into that realm w/ Wade and boy was I glad I did. He’s just as dorky as me!
That’s why it’s luv, pure luv. 
And I adore Ben. I have a video on mine too. He tells me if there is more to life than being really, really ridiculously good looking.
I want to lick his face off.
Oh, sure! I’m not saying you should be able to do that immediately… you gotta hide the crazy for a while, duh. But within the first 6 months? Definitely. <3
and this is why your blog is seriously like my bible.
xoxo
So many of those things people are willing to push aside in the beginning. Great, great list.
Thanks, dear. It took a looooot of mistakes to compile…
You forgot to mention to GTFO if there he has a large collection of ninja weapons. No matter how cool ninjas are, ninja weapons are fucking dangerous.
I once had a boyfriend of four months or so open up a closet of guns I had no idea about.
We didn’t last long after that.
Aww you’re right .. and I kind of hate it .. ‘cuz it looks I’m gonna be alone for a little while
Anywho, must meet a non-communist TP roller who makes me laugh. Got it. Now the search begins !!
Hate it now, but it saves you a lotta heartache in the long run…
-If going out with him feels like a chore
-If he doesn’t like your cat
I totally agree with you on the TP. Are there people that really prefer it under????!
They’re not “people”. They’re Communists.
You’re SO right on! And with the toilet paper thing – I did a slient air pump when you mentioned that. WHY would anyone have it come out the bottom… seriously?!? Oh, unless maybe you work where I do (check out my post today) and there is ANY TP AT ALL!
That is definitely worse. But at least you’re not boning your office.
Like everyone else, I totally agree about the toilet paper. I also agree with just about everything else too. Good list!
Thanks, love.
Dude! Where was this post a few months ago?!? You could’ve shaved some serious time off my already prolonged suffering!!
P.S. My ‘berry is not fan of your website, i.e. I had to jump thru some mad hoops to comment. Much love!
Aaaaand this is why I love you. xo
I miss my wiener.
Anyway. I’m just happy if the new TP roll makes it onto the holder at all.
That’s fair. It’s definitely a position you don’t want to be in…
Liking the family and friends more than you like him…. Yeaaaaaah been there. It’s definitely a GTFO.
TRUTH.
So, so true. As a personal thing: If they don’t want to do PDA with you. At all. No one considers hand-holding to be too much.
Agreed. Unless they have sweaty palm syndrome, which late night television recently tried to convince me is a real thing.
That’s a great list. Especially the long vacation one and the sex thing. That is so key.
We made it through driving a rental car on the “streets” of San Jose, CR last year. WE CAN MAKE IT THROUGH ANYTHING.
great list.. and so true.. look at you being all serious and stuff, lol….
Shhhh… don’t tell anyone.
I wish I knew the toilet paper roll hanging thingy was a reason to run. I am still putting up with it, actually after 15 years we have separate bathroom for that reason alone, oh an probably because I leave my most used items on the vanity. We both have annoying habits but well worth the compromise. Other than that – GREAT LIST!!
Haha! Well, if I was going to give one Get Out of Jail Free card, that would be it.
LOVE this list! Cannot agree with you more with your Get TFO reasoning
They are hard and fast, as far as I’m concerned.
…twss.
You forgot self esteem. If a man needs constant reassurance, if he doesn’t take failure well, if he’s not emotionally resilient, GTFO. No man can love you who doesn’t love himself. Talk about learning the hard way…
Oooo, good call. Yes, we need a MAN, not a boy. Absolutely.
this —-> “If he believes you when you say you don’t want anything for your birthday.”
he’s done.
He’s also dumb. But yes… definitely done.
It saddens me how true the “if you like his family and friends more than him,” one is. I loved my ex super a lot — like, we were pretty much the most of in love dot com — but I realized how bad things had gotten when, while we were breaking up, one of the things I was saddest about was having to lose ties to his awesome family.
Another one I might add to the list is: Get TFO if you routinely avoid inviting your significant other to events with your friends — even if your friends’ sigs are all invited. (Yeah, I guess I was a bitchy girlfriend, and kind of an idiot for not seeing the break-up coming.)
Haha! Well… that should’ve be on HIS list of GTFOs!
More people need to keep this in mind: “You and your friends joke-about-but-secretly-truly-worry that he might be gay.” I’m sick of meeting oblivious women married to flamingly gay guys. If I was convinced it was an “arrangement” it wouldn’t be so annoying.
I KNOW. Just admit it and we can all move on!
Great list! A note on the TP issue. Don’t kill yourself over this one if you EVER plan on having kids. Even take it off the list if munchkins are in your future with dude in question. Because this is what happens: Years teaching them how to put the roll on properly, only to REALLY REALLY confuse the guy once you have a kid and now request the roll be put on the other way. The upside down way is the only way to go with a crib midget in the house unless you like to decorate with TP, as it doesn’t unroll easily in the under position. My advice: save yourself much anxiety and get a vertical holder.
Or do like the frat boys do and just slide it down the plunger handle for that “rustic look.”
Hahahaha! Thank the lawd that, after last week, we finally BOUGHT a plunger…
You know – I’m in an otherwise perfect relationship but haven’t heard the Lady Friend fart yet. Is that a deal-breaker?
Definitely not. She might be part Cylon, after all. You just have to decide if that’s something you can live with.
Shit. That’s TOTALLY why it didn’t work out with Captain Accessories aka Repeat Bad Decision. Also, he had douchey hair, but mostly it was that he only wanted to see me when there was sex to be had.
ASSHAT.
I really wish someone had beat me over the head with the last one when I was with the ex because I cried all. the. time. And I’m not a crier, at least not over relationshippy stuff. (Givesmehope.com makes me cry like, every day.) I could have saved myself so much hurt if I’d paid attention to what my subconscious was telling me.
The more we know… xoxo
Brillant stuff, LiLu and should be required reading for Every training program for Relationship therapists.
I am glad you can have a fartfest w/your sweetie, that’s love right there.
It’s something.
I found myself nodding my head to each and every one of those. So true.
*Especially* the traveling together.
Yeah. That one’s times a million when in a foreign country where they don’t speak English.
I SHOULD KNOW.
My man spends JUST as much time as I do primping.
What do we all think about that?
I think, as long as that’s the only one from the list, we can call that a wash.
Oh LiLu, you are so smart. Out there saying things we ladies need to hear. Like getting the shit beat out of you? Not cool. Who knew?!
Seriously. I’m like your very own Kindergarten PSA up in here. HITTING IS BAD.
Thanks for clearing up the toilet paper thing for everyone. I’m ashamed to admit that at one point, I considered installing two roll-holders to ensure all my bases were covered (you know, like belonging to several religions). But I did always favor the aesthetics of over the top.
See, that wouldn’t work anyway. Because we want you to WANT the TP hanging right.*
*This is a poor reference to the only funny part of “The Break Up” joke.
But what if he wants to bone my best friend, and I just want to watch?
Then be free, my love child. Be free.
My favorite item on this list is the TP one. SO DAMN TRUE!!!
Good synopsis, lady. You are wise. Very, very wise…
That’s what they tell me.
“Weird” and “wise” are synonyms, right?
so true. except maybe a second and possibly third try on the vacation thing. vacations can go ape shit even with close friends and family. if there isn’t crazy hot hotel sex, then yes….done and done.
That’s fair. Ewww… family.
Okay, question. If he’s sporting a majority of that list but has a whole OTHER list of pretty good things, how do you ever know which list outweighs the other? I mean, I’m pretty sure it’s not even-steven; they’re loaded points, right?
Wow, that was a bit deep for today’s post!
That sounds like a blog post yourself, my dear…
p.s. if he places the roll of toilet paper ON TOP of the holder then that may be a sign he is the laziest mother f**cker ever.
Disclaimer: If he does it while sober. Because I *may* have done that while drunk or hungover.
What?
Rick Astley is getting all kinds of props.
As he should.
amen sister.
Xoxo
You are totally right on with your advise. I actually mentally checked several of those items off in my head about my last relationship. Unfortunately, I was too blind to see it then…but the clouds have cleared and it’s as bright as the freakin’ sun now!!!
Love your blog! Thanks for reading mine
Aww, thanks hon! Glad you stopped by
LOL…my husband and I are the same way….I am an ‘on top’ girl(TWSS!), he’s a ‘never replaces’ guy….and I don’t really mind, but I have to nag him about it…it’s what wives are supposed to do, right?
Absotootilootly.
A.) I moved from~welcominganewmiracle.blogspot.com to: iamyouneek.blogspot.com.
Secondly, I can’t vouch for the toddler thing…we have a 3yr old and a 19month old….and we go at it at least 4 times a week….soooo…..don’t take peoples’ words for it….it’s up(TWSS) to you!
III.) If you can take care of cats and want a puppy, you never know how you’ll feel in a few years about kids……but they’ll probably make you want to double up on the BC a lil more…..
We want a puppy… we just don’t want to take care of one… I don’t think munchkins are on the table.
I think this is a great list. Good work LiLu, you are the Mother Theresa of blogging.
I am a giver.
Yeahuh. If you can’t feel comfortable acting silly around each other than it’s prolly gonna be a fail sooner or later.
So true.
Lilu, OMG I love that dog.
Also and too your list is spot on. Like I have said many times over and over again…in fact I was even on teevee news program proclaiming to the world that MY PICKER IS BROKE! I have broken every single one of those rules with one single guy. ONE GUY! He was awful in ways I can not even describe yet I hung in there thinking I could make him better. So the only one I would add to that list is “If you are staying because you think you can change or cure him… GET THE FUCK OUT!” DANGER WILL ROBINSON!
Will Robinson is a cad, too, from what I hear.
You forgot belly button piercings. Always a no-no.
Oooooo. And “Mom” tattoos. Don’t ever compete with a mama’s boy’s mama.
Good advice…and can I just say that Ben is really adorable? Cuz he is.
He is the cutest. We need to convince him to move here from Canada World!
“If you think, deep down, that he would probably bone your best friend, given the right circumstances.”
I once dated a loser who, after one double date with a friend of mine and her boyfriend, told me that my friend “had great tits”. Thank “jeebus” I got out of that relationship!!
Nonsense. He sounds like a keeper!
*vom*
P.S. I just remembered something my H.S. bio teacher said..lol….he told us that everyone should go camping for a week with their bf/gf….if you can stand to smell them for that long, without showering, then you’ll have a chance! lol………pretty sure we were on the body chemistry chapter…..
That is one smart teacher. Also? I just gagged.
Whoever told anyone that putting the TP in backwards was OK or that it didn’t matter was either an idiot or purposefully trying to mess with the happiness of planet Earth. And they should go to Hell for all eternity with the rest of the fuckups and rapists.
I’m just sayin’.
LOVE IT.
Kids kill sex.
So I hear. *has tubes tied*
“If he admits your ass looks fat in that.”
See… the tricky thing is… that can actually be a great thing. Having something to hold onto is awesome. But sure: we should be careful about how we admit it.
Enjoying some J in the T vs. saying the three letter “F” word are too verrrry different things, comrade. You know this.
This note to any guy’s in a new relationship… In case your new, super hot girlfriend reads LiLu’s blog, (which she undoubtedly does) you should probably make sure your folks are falling down drunk when you introduce them. What your folks don’t drink? Hmm. Too bad. Well maybe you could date her hot best friend!
I am confused. And therefore taking this as a compliment.
When in doubt… run the other way!
Trust your instincts.
Excellent list. All very true, especially the “once a week is porn style if you have toddlers.” We’re currently in week 3 of the 6 week post-partem “yes, you can bone again” countdown, but if we manage more than once a week for the first few months, it’ll be a fucking miracle.
I hear ya. I’m sure it’s tender… down under!
LOVE! you are so effin cool, right? My, my, my why weren’t you like my clubbin’ buddy when I was out there shakin’ what my momma gave me? For real, you coulda saved me a shit pot full of grief!
So, in the vain, when you are an old married chic like me, for sure I will give you advice. For example…..go check out my First Wedding Anniversary advice I posted today!
LOVE!
Oooo, I will be taking you up on that!
It’s like everything today is about dating dealbreakers…
also who is this guy that everybody has on their blog? I’m starting to feel left out.
I didn’t hear anything in that video after Theo showed up, too cute!! A better (worse?!) sign than going without sex for a week and not noticing is getting to the end of the week and being thankful you managed to avoid having sex with him for a whole week!
The traveling one is SO TRUE. Worst weekend of my life-a trip to Vegas with my ex. Worst. Weekend.
FTMFW!
Great list! I checked my boyfriend up agains this list and he passes! Whew, means I am doing a lot better than before. And I totally believe that even if given the opportunity and right circumstances a good man will STILL be faithful to his lady. I believe this of my man. There are very FEW good men out there, but they DO exist.
plse dn’t hate me….but….i like my toilet paper to come form the bottom and i hate toilet paper tht runs from the top…am gonna now go hide till you tell me its ok to come out…dn’t judge me *massive cheesy forgive me smiley face*
Ladies should also consider GTFO’ing if said boyfriend consistently speaks about his mother, and definitely if he lives in her basement and/or underclothing.
Great list that keeps us single ladies glad of our single status ^_~
Awesome list!! For some reason, the one that caught my attention was the TP over/under debate. I used to be an over the top type, but that was before kids… now I’m just happy when the roll stays on the bar, or at least somewhere in the general vicinity.
K and I travel together unbelievably well. It’s one of the main reasons that I know that we’re going to be good for the long haul. Which is a damn good thing, what with the whole owning a house together bizness.
Very solid list! The one thing I learned with Mr. X is that he needs to be the same around you when out as he is when home. If he can’t dote on you and be a loving man when in public, then something doesn’t add up.
I have to agree with you on the TP thing. It can’t be backwards. I would love it if after 8 years my boyfriend would actually put it on the roll instead of on the sink…UGH!
Those are on point!
OOO I love this post! I wish I could convince some of my lovely friends to GTFO of a seriously demented relationship…If you’re not happy with the person you are never gonna be happy right? Sometimes I don’t understand love
And the TP thing? (I actually had to read one of the comments to know what TP is 
I was thinking of something LiLu crazy 
) I’d have to check if I have it over or under? I think there’s like a code for that right?
I’ve only had one serious relationship prior to this one…and I am loving this one 1000%. I get to be me, as in me-most-people-don’t-get-to know-crazy-me all the time. And he absofuckinglutely loves it! He’s not all there himself anyway
. Great post LiLu. And happy birthday week! I hope yours is better than mine. I got sick for a whole week…I know…such a waste of a perfectly good excuse to get crazy with friends.. 
Keeping this one on file! Thanks pretty lady.
LiLu Dating Advice + Ben Video = My Day Made!
Thanks!
Now that is some funny shit right there…..
I never dated the No-Name dude after the second awkward date….
1. if I end up in a public restroom and the tp is coming from the bottom, I freak. Because that means someone had to hold it with their dirty, unwashed, been poking their fingers in different orifices hands. And that gross. We don’t use the rolls at home. The bathrooms at home are way too small and you hafta reach behind you to grab the tp. So we set the rolls on the back of the toilets. Unless we have company. Then we make company reach for it.
2. That dog totally looks embarrassed that his secrets are being publicly displayed…..
“If you’ve got a couple of toddlers, from what I hear, once a week would be porn style.”
With toddlers, or babies on the way, once a week is just silly. Once a month is porn style…
What if you like a girl’s ass to look fat in that, like she has some junk in her trunk?
Anyway, good list in oh so many ways. It’s almost like you know what you are talking about.
A couple of these applied to me and Brian … we GTFO for about a year, then got back together and haven’t been apart since. Further proof there is no rhyme or reason when it comes to dating and relationships. Unfortunately.
oh you just make my life easier. decision made!!
anyways, it suddenly crosses my mind, what kind of song and dance move you’re gonna do for you to beat JK wedding entrance dance?
rick astley’s perhaps?
that’s gonna be fun! surely maxie & the gang wont mind doing the rickrolling?
Shine’s comment about “If he wears a class ring” is cracking me up. A good friend of mine wears his class ring, and we didn’t even go to a great college. It creeps me the fuck out.
Mine is: He treats his mom like crap. That’s a no go.
I SO thought of you the other night because the Boyfriend and I got RICK ROLLED AT CHILI’S! Apparently, Astley is Chili’s idea of Peppering In the Fun!
Even if it is one chicks advice, its still true. SERIOUSLY.
oh your list is oh so very true. i mean if i didn’t laugh every day with matt i’m pretty sure we wouldn’t work out. that and i most definitely love him more than i love his family, a good sign indeed, haha.
but really great list.
and um ben is amazing.
Oh my. Today has been crazy.
I’m tired and nervously watching video counts go up.
Is this what shame feels like?
Yes it is.
Great list. More girls should live by it and stop being such frickin’ VICTIMS.
love the list. It’s perfect for newbies. I keep telling my bestie “if he is acting this way NOW, what is it going to be like later?”
Guuurl, here’s another chapter for your book! Sweet shit.
THANK GOD FOR THIS LIST! or, well you. but i was once a girl who tried to stick around in a doomed relationship and although i knew these things were true, i ignored the facts like a dumbass. now i look at this and say RIGHT ONNNN I WASTED SO MUCH TIME. why can’t all girls see the warning signs before landing rock bottom in a horrendous relationship!? you live, you learn. then one day you might get luvs….if u have kids….okay i’m going too far with this. XD
You like his family and friends more than him. Like whoa, that is a good one, RiLu – cause seriously, hating friends and family happens all the time, never thought about this side of the fence. Such a great list. You so smart, girlie!!!
Um, bday??? bday? helloooo…when, when, when?
Hey, did I mention after NYC that we were heading to your hometown? We’re leaving Boston tomorrow morning
Back home I go….
Vacations/travel are a HUGE test of relationship compatibility.
I am going to break everyone of these rules to spite you. See you soon!!!
Sweet list!! You should make a list about how to dump a guy smartly and not causing his revenge too , Lilu
Some girl somewhere might need it 
Ben is adorable!
I’m with f.B. regarding the “admitting that [she] looks fat” in _____ garment. This can be a good thing if phrased well… I have no clue how this gets phrased well.
*sigh* I should probably GTFO soon…
…or not. He’s so fucking hot, Lilu! I don’t think you’d blame me
AMEN about the toilet paper. dealbreaker.
also dealbreaker if they can’t kiss me properly. seriously — what grown man doesn’t know how to kiss?!
You got me at the toilet paper thing.
Why doesn’t anyone understand, it’s supposed to go ON TOP, OVER the roll, not coming out of the bottom ?!!
i wrote an entire post once about how much i hate when people put the TP under not over.
deal breaker
If you are the only one compromising… its time to GTFO
Also I agree with the person above who said if you ask him to hang out and he answers with a “maybe, I’ll have to see what else is going on..” no, no GTFO!
Great post!!!
Yikes. This is like a messed-up verison of a Cosmo “are you meant to be together?” quiz, but every answer is NO.
Great list! Where were you for the past year when I was dealing with the evil ex? You pretty much our entire relationship!
Love the video- you should put down, it’s also bad if you love his dog more than him!!! That puppy was adorable!
Thanks for making my night, I was a bit down. Now I have to pee thanks to you as always!
Love you Lilu
yeah, my ex has half of the world armory at his place. At first I thought it was bit cool and macho, but when his evil psychotic and violent side came out=not so.
Now, I will prefer the calmer ones who I can trust and who will make me laugh.
seriously, we never did! I know, I know I am flogging myself now. I should have kicked him in the pants and ran the f out!
Lilu, your blog kills me! SO hilarious! and fuck me! I am totally in a relationship that I need to get TFO of. Crap it. You just ruined my life. lol
Anyway, I loved your blog, so I wanted to give you the Best Blog Award. Check it out at http://whatswrongwithmommy.blogspot.com/2009/10/yay-i-got-me-award-j-lovely-mrs.html
most excellent dating advice. I would have to agree with all of them!
not so much the tenderness as the lack of opportunity, what with babies waking up to feed and toddlers feeling like they’re missing out if you’re holding the baby and they’re not also totally on top of you, plus the general exhaustion of it all. but we’ll give it the ol’ college try.
Good list, good list.
Okay Ben is really just the cutest thing ever. I want to move in with him and the Newf and his pups. You coming?
Thanks for the advice! I’ll definitely keep it in mind for the next guy I date.
PS – That dog really is adorable.
All great points which I COMPLETELY agree with.
You need to be happy otherwise GTFO.
And I can totally see how that dog can get away with murder-I wouldn’t care if he murdered me just so long that he was cute doing it! Lmao.
Very cool LiLu!!! Absolutely true – get TFO and RUN like hell. Also, if he does everything right but you’re just not in absolute crazy love… get TFO. Happiness is a choice and just because he’s perfect, doesn’t mean he’s perfect for you. Butterflies in your stomach are AWESOME. Go find them!!!
Comments on this entry are closed.