Last week, B and I had one of those long, contemplative chats in bed that practically married fat and happy couples tend to have. Or so I hear.
And it pretty much boiled down to this…
I should stop being such a cunt at work.
Pardon the language (ha! You know where you are.) But it’s true.
When I started my current job, I was coming from a place I HATED. I had also recently quit my second job as a bartender after a decade of catering to the wants and needs of perfect (often assholey) strangers. I was, to put it lightly, a bit burnt the frick out.
And the new organization is enormous, intimidating, and has their own acronym for Ev. Ery. Thing. Seriously. I’m pretty sure “toilet paper” is TPR.
“Hey, Ronda, did you call facilities about that TPR situation in Stall 4 Shelf 2?”
“No, I just used some of the PPR TWL. And now I have a rash.”
Poor Ronda.
At some point, I subconsciously decided to just keep my head down, do my job well, and keep my nose out of anyone’s business. Work to live, you know?
That decision, coupled with the fact that I hate all things small talk and, in general, other people (hi, I’m LiLu, have we met?) means that I have avoided getting to know other coworkers like the plague. Obviously, not the dozen or so people I work for- I’m no idiot. But, the other hundred in my department? Short of wowing them with a rousing karaoke rendition of “The Piano Man” at the Holiday Party last year, they have absolutely no idea who I am.
And I like it that way. I prefer it that way. And up til now, seeing this job as that “Work to Live” kinda deal, in that I’m grateful to pay my bills and see a dentist but it will never be a career kinda way, I figured, who cares? Maybe I’ll seem mysterious and use some reverse psychology to make everyone desperately want to please me. It used to work as a bartender… I always made more money when I was being a complete bitch. (People are effed, man.)
But after talking it out with B, I’ve realized that tactic is more than a little narrow-minded. What about when my contract runs up? What happens when the time for promotions comes around? What if I’m pitted against someone better liked for an opportunity, or worse, to KEEP my job?
I know it might seem shocking that I’m the Cold Bitch at the office, but I’m pretty sure it’s true.
So, yeah, I’d like to change that. It’s just that I’m not sure there’s enough Pixie Stix in the world to make me sweet.
Update: Freaking hilarious… “30 Warning Signs You’re the Office Bitch Everyone Complains About.” (Especially #18…)
2nd Update: Daffy just sent me this. I am so getting a button made and wearing it around the office. Which completely defeats the point but who cares, IT’S THAT FUNNY…
{ 105 comments }
i can’t imagine you being a bitch – even if at work! but u must be a great job at being one??
Trust me. The bitch is strong in me when I want it to be.
You’re just displaying your PWD. (Professional Work Demeanor.)
They’re all jealous of you anyway. How could they not be?
Well, especially of my mad karaoke skills.
Eh, it’s a fine line. There’s also no rule that says that you have to be bestest buddies with your colleagues, either.
It is a fine line… I just feel like I’m on the wrong side of it.
I keep to myself at work. The company I work FOR is contracted at the place I work AT, and their contract is up on November 1st. I’m getting nervous, and I hope the managers like me enough to transfer me over to another company so I can stay here.
Where can we hire someone to kiss ass for us for a month??
Oops!!!
I have the opposite problem myself. In my office, EVERYONE knows my business.
Oh, and I’m STILL passed over for promotion. So it might not make a difference…
This is encouraging, in a totally effed up way.
At least you’re one of the main characters. I stopped going to the office after my first day when I realized I was the only one not speaking Cantonese. Lame.
Oh, how I WISH I could work from home.
I love the abbreviations! But really, I can’t imagine you not being nice…
I’m not outright RUDE… well, just to one chick. But trust me, she totally has it coming. See: Irrational Hatred Is Fun!
OMG I hate the acronyms! I contracted at Pfizer and they couldn’t keep up with their own acronyms they changed so much!
As for the office bitch, I have become one too! There are only 15 people in my office and only 4 are women so I have become the housekeeper/mother because people are slobs! therefore BITCH!
I’m by far the youngest at 25… I’m pretty sure I’d be thrown out a window if I started mother henning.
haha, i’m ALWAYS the Angela too
i can’t get down with sharing all my personal business in an office full of (mostly) d-bags that i would never associate with outside of those walls. so i assume i’m the “mysterious” one also… either that or they just call me the stuck-up-bitch. afterall i do drive a foreign car and no one else there does…
F-Em, Angelas Unite!
We should start a Facebook group so it’s legit! Then we’ll be unstoppable.
I am the WORST at small talk. I would rather sit in silence than make meaningless chatter about weather, weekend plans, etc. Clearly, I don’t give a shit how your day at work was, and I’d rather you not ask about mine. Same goes for weekend plans. We are coworkers, fellow commuters, strangers in line together. We are not friends. Leave me alone. Wow….I feel much better after that rant.
I know! I am SO with you… but I just feel like, at least in my office, it’s probably not the best way to go. Sigh.
I believe I’m with notsojenny on this one. Who needs the workplace drama? As if life isn’t challenging enough – get up on time, brush teeth, eat every once in awhile, try to arrive to work somewhat sober… sheesh! Add pleasing people to that list and you might as well stay in bed and collect unemployment.
I’ve worked in the same building for 8 years now and for the first 5 years 90% of the staff thought I was a student that belonged in the classroom. The principal STILL has no clue who I am and if you call the front office and ask for me, they’ll tell you no one works here with that name. THAT’S Grand. WHY? Because I can screw off and leave early and no one will miss me. If they do, they don’t know who the hell I am so they can’t turn me in. HA!
Okay, in your case, I say your strategy is CLEARLY the better way to go.
Are there any women in offices who aren’t bitches or cunts???
Even the nicer ones get that way once a month.
I say, just be yourself. You’re there to do your job, not to make friends.
Besides, if you boss is a woman, she’s going to can you at the end of your contract, because she’s a cunt too.
Ha. No, he’s the sweetest guy in the world and we get along fine- that’s not what I’m worried about… I just feel like in general, it is smarter to be liked in the office on the whole. But being nice is so damn hard…
haha i HONESTLY doubt you’re the angela of you office, but… i mean at least you are aware of it and want to change! that’s what counts… by the way i loved your post yesterday about having all four parents visit!
Haha, thanks! I’m probably making it out to be worse than it is… I hope, anyway.
But you’re the HOT bitch.
That makes you special.
Hot mess, hot bitch- I got all the “hots” covered.
First- I love the title of this post
Second- I’m not friendly and hate talking to people as well however I work in a very small office (there are only 6 of us) and we all eat lunch together everyday so I’ve been forced into being friendly with coworkers and it hasn’t been all that bad.
Yeah, I know. I wish something would force me to spend more time with them so I didn’t have a choice. Cause I don’t think I’m going to do it on my own…
I was disappointed by this post. I read the title and thought you were going to tell us about how you’re the crazy cat lady and you once coughed up a hairball cause you bathe your cats with your own tongue.
Maybe next time.
Well, it’s not Thursday yet…
Eh, whatever. I was a total cunt at my old job that I hated and my boos emailed me the other day to tell me he “missed having me around”. Some people are masochists…maybe you are just making a certain subset of people who love bitches really happy…
Little Miss Sunshine, you are.
I actually have 2 people on my direct team that I don’t talk to at all. I don’t say good morning. I don’t even say “bless you” when they sneeze. I hate them. They suck. And it’s totally them, not me.
Whatevs. If they complain you can just be like “I’m not religious.” Then they’ll be all “Well you could say Gesundheit” and you can be all “DID YOU JUST CALL ME A NAZI?!?!”
I’m a problem solver.
i also agree about not needing office drama…i only work with five other people and i hardly ever go out with them or anything and it keeps the level of acquaintance at “respectable”. the last thing you want to do is tell somebody too much or insult somebody at work and then have to see them every single day.
Yeah, I completely agree. But I feel like I need some alliances or something. Maybe I’ve just seen too many Road Rules challenges…
Eh, it’s better this way. Work people suck, they just want to know all about your life and then use it against you in some way. Except for my boss who totally rocks, why couldn’t he be my dad? Wow, that’s to deep for this comment.
I know, that’s why I wanted to keep my distance, at least until I figured out who sucks and who’s cool.
Personally, I’d rather work with someone who keeps to themselves. It makes those rare conversations a lot more pleasant. It could be because I’m also the office bitch, but talking to someone once in a blue moon is way better then having to listen to chatty cathy every morning talk about what “adorable” thing her kid did last night.
I promise there are no pictures of the kittens up at work. I refuse to be “that lady”.
I used to just work, keep my mouth shut and agree with everything my boss said. After about a year of that I started speaking up and disagreeing with him, and he acted like I was some sort of hysterical woman just for voicing a dissenting opinion.
I love when they give you the “Must Be That Time of the Month” look.
Honestly, I don’t think being The Nice Girl gets you anywhere. I interact with people at all different levels, from the very bottom to the very top, and I will say that the successful ones are usually bitches. As long as you get your work done, and no one has a mega-problem working with you, I think you’re fine.
Look at it this way, they’re not going to pass the bitch over for the promotion because they’d probably never hear the end of it. The Nice Girl though, she’ll take the bad news with a smile, turning her down would be easy! Sounds fucked up and backwards, but it’s how it usually goes.
Ooooo, I like your logic. I LIKE IT A LOT.
On my old contract, yeah, that might have been me. A team of 10 and only two guys, and I’d just come from the news business. I’d come from a world where no one had any (public) feelings so we didn’t worry about offending anyone. A newsroom is like a very small shark tank and feelings are like chum in the water. Not so much how it works in the D.C. contracting world. Basically, I didn’t feel like playing their reindeer games – $5 for this person’s birthday, $10 for that going away thingymabob, screw that. Just because we work together, that don’t make us friends. I’ll be friendly toward you; just don’t expect me to contribute to your Target birthday gift card since I don’t expect it from you.
Also, I’m not buying any of the crap you kid’s selling for their school. If you want your kid to play football and go on the Spanish club’s trip to Mexico, pony up your own damn self.
I know! I started in DECEMBER and all these envelopes to “tip” the people for Christmas and such, like the mail guy, were going around. I’m all ummmm, I’ve worked here for a week… NO THANKS.
I aspire to be more like you. My last job I made everyone their favorite homemade desset on thier birthdays cause it was a small office of five people, when I started there my boss was going thru a breakup and everyone else was sick of listening to him whine so I was sympathetic and caring…in the end no one even said happy bithtday to me, and the guy I listened to snivel for 2 months ened up being a steriod user who screamed and turned purple every time I wade some arbirtary mistake he could catch. Needless to say he was an Afflcition and Ed Hardy wearing douche, or as I discovered on JP’s site, my new fave, a “dick-knuckle”.
Upshot is I have decided that at 40 I don’t need this shit. Fuck em. When I return ot the ranks of the employed I am keeping a cool distance and going home at the end of the day. People mistake kindness for weakness. Oh, and it doesn’t guarantee a job, obvs. It just guarantees that you feel exposed and treated unfairly.
Keep up the good work
I think you might have hit it with “people mistake kindness for weakness”… I hope you’re right, cause everyone will think I’m realllll strong.
I’m pretty sure, even though I’m not very nice, I’m nowhere near as the ONLY OTHER FEMALE in my office. Wow. She makes babies cry. While they’re breast-feeding.
Well… it must be kinda funny when they spew the milk.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHH
um, story of my life. well, not so much in the new job. at the old place i was known as, “the mean lady upstairs”. thanks, students. i love you too. now go do keg stands.
31! 32! 33!
Oh… what were you saying?
I avoid my co-workers too, I couldn’t care less what they think about me. I’m not getting promoted there anyways.
Ugh, eff my job.
That’s a different story… sounds like it’s time for a change, my love.
16. You have no children, caring spouse or social life, yet you find everyone else pathetic.
Oh…well then. I don’t actually find everyone else pathetic but I have been known to be a little judgey sometimes. And that no social life part stings cause it’s true.
Just wait til you move here.
I feel like I’m in the minority here, but I actually *like* my coworkers…and even hang out with them on a semi-regular basis. But then again, my office is pretty small.
And if you don’t want to start being nice right away, you can always wait until the holiday party and have another stellar karaoke performance. Totally the way to win people over.
I don’t mean to hog the stage, but come on. You’ve seen my killer white girl moves.
Everyone is my office is at least 10 years older than me which doesn’t exactly open the gates of communication. I’m all “maybe I’ll get married someday” and they’re all “I’m going through the change.”
HA. That’s kind of how it is for me too- everyone’s popping out babies and they’re all “When are you getting maaaaaarried” and I’m all “I will heavy-duty staple you to that wall.”
Sigh.
i’ve got to admit, i’m pretty sure it’s the fact that i’m “fun” at the office and “buddies” with some of the decision makers that let me keep my job this summer over some coworkers. as lame as it seems… it really does play a part in corporate culture.
I know. It’s time for a change. *inserts lips to ass*
I kid, I kid.
I’m not very social on the job either. As a teacher, I found that a lot of the other teachers were competitive and only out to use me for lesson plans, etc. So I stopped eating lunch with everyone and began isolating myself. When I changed schools this year, I came into a community of teachers that actually LIKE? each other. So strange! It took some getting used to, and I’m still “the quiet one”….but it’s sort of nice.
Yeah. And it’s not that the people I work with are assholes, either. Most of them are fine. It’s just… I have ENOUGH in my life. I don’t need anymore. Sucks, but it’s true… I just don’t have the energy.
if you start being friendly, we’re through.
If I get fired, I’m moving to West Virignia.
I’ve got to admit, I not so secretly love office chitchat, with all of the inane gossip and non-jokes. (The woman who shares my cubicle and I both happened to wear red shirts and black skirts the other day; at least four people came by and asked: “Did I miss the memo?” Ha.) Jumping into the mind-numbing sea of nice might be worth a try, just as an experiment!
Just reading that sentence, I knew it would have taken every last ounce of my strength not to punch that “Memo” person in the face. It’s just not for me.
You are a bitch and I love it. So, when are we hanging out since I couldn’t make you’re house warming shindig.
JJ
I know, you hooker! Come to my wedding/bday! Stetson’s on October 17th. Woot!
Well, I think the silver lining is…. Dwayne and Angela = Awesome Halloween Costumes for you and B.
Ha! But we’d make such a better Pam and Jim, what with the snarky remarks and all…
You know what I’ve found is great for making a person much sweeter to work with? Start your own business. When you make only what you manage to coax out of people, a whole lotta sweetness helps. Not that I’m recommending doing that. No way.
I could hand sew kitten Snuggies!
I try to be a lot like Dwight.
QUESTION. Do you use store bought manure on your beet farm?!
its been my bosses mission to get me noticed at work. We have so many employees that if you aren’t pooping diamonds (i work at corporate for a jeweler) you can forget it.
It seems like too much work to me.
This is what I’m saying.
And if I pooped diamonds, I sure as hell wouldn’t be working for the man…
I am like Pam. Everyone’s personal bitch. And she does it and puts up w/ it but hates it and every now and then a snide little remark comes out and it’s hard to tell just exactly how bitchy she’s being b/c no one would think she’d be a bitch but in reality she’s being a huge bitch. And then they don’t know what hit them.
I can SO see that! Such a smarter tactic…
I’m the sort that looks younger than I really am so people assume that I’m all sweet and kind and that I love babies and rainbows and sprinkles…until I get to know them. And then I mock them, their mom, and Chuck Norris all in one and they are blown away.
I tried to be nice at my new position, but those damn demeaning comments just keep popping out of my mouth. Whatever, like you said, it isn’t a career or anything…right?
Truth, my friend, truth. Maybe the secret is finding out a way to keep the comments under our breath…
lilu…. you are my half-way-across-the-country-work-life-sister.
lmao.
im so that girl. lol. lol. lol.
:0)
God, if only we were together. We’d own this place with bitchiness!
B is probably right. Don’t you hate it when those upwardly-mobile people know their stuff?
YES. He’s such a (successful) jerk!
PPR TWL = Classic DC. Why is that so easy to picture actually happening? I was always the court jester in my office. That didn’t work out for me too well…
Says the girl who got Dooced. Shit, I really need to get my act together…
Apparently I make people cry. Boys specifically.
And I have a flashing button that says that and I wear it pre-coffee..
WANT.
Meh, I think this one depends on the work culture of your office. If everyone is constantly happy hour-ing and lunching together (i.e., my first real job), it might be a problem that you don’t join in (it was where I worked). If not, meh. As long as you’re reasonably nice, you’re probably good to go.
Also…I saw a 75 year old man wearing a shirt with “Do I Look Like a People Person to You?” written on it. It made me laugh my ass off. I support button acquiring.
Define “reasonably nice”…
I do the love hate dance. One minute I am cool, the next a total hard ass. This works for me, cause I am only bothered when needed and keeps the tards at bay. However, if improperly done, you look bi-polar. A risk I am willing to take.
I think that’s probably exactly where I’m sitting right now… but I’m definitely leaning towards the bi-polar side.
We have so many acronyms here that we have two pages on our intranet devoted to decoding them. “Simple” and “Advanced.” We e-mail a link to the pages out to our new hires on their first day… you know, so they show up for the second day. Hah!
I’m sure we have a list somewhere. And by list I mean “book”.
One can be nice without being ‘doormat nice’, that is too far the other direction.
Oh, I don’t think anyone needs to worry about that with me…
i mean it’s good to have goals, but don’t go overboard and be TOO nice.
It would never happen.
No matter what you say, I won’t believe you can be a cold bitch ever… definitely not cold…
Whatevs! I’m like ice! ICE I SAY!!!
I’d be tempted to say “don’t change a thing, just be yourself and do your own thang” but it’s true that in a work environment, it’s good to be a little social. And yes, unfortunately, that means smiling at people even when you have a major hangover on friday mornings, lol. Crap-tastic.
Smiling?! No one said anything about smiling!
I think people like certain degree of bitches. I’m the office bitch, too. I sometimes enjoy being mean, and don’t get involved in everyone’s business. Like I give a shit. Anybitches, when I went on maternity leave the temp was the sweetest woman EVER. Nicey, nice, nice. At first, coworkers were so happy for the change in pace. After 2 weeks, they hated her, and couldn’t wait for my return. Why? Because everyone loves the bitch.
The bitch gets shit done.
Just join the party planning committee!!
(totally thinking about The Office now)
Ugh. I can’t even stand when we do birthdays for people… I’m sure as hell not planning them.
< ---- BITCH
If I were nice to people in the office, GENUINELY nice, people would expect me to come in with the rifle next. Office politics suck, and my life is much simpler because I’m surly. Keeps the suck-ups and the people who pretend to be everyones’ friend away from me.
Anyone can be ‘nice’. I like you more for being the way you are. Rock on.
I like me more, too… I just don’t want to jeopardize an opportunity, you know?
Sigh.
You’re not gonna believe this, but it was only in the past month that I saw my first episode of The Office. I know, I know, I’m always late for the party.
You have some GREAT hours of TV ahead of you, my friend.
Aw hell. You described me perfectly. In the course of one post. Shit.
I realized last spring that I only knew about 3 of the 20 new hires (from the fall). So… this fall (as in, now) I’m trying to get to know more of my co-workers. Not a fucking picnic, but I’m less of a bitch! (I think…)
We hope… haha!
Haha… I am like this too!! Unless it’s a job I’m really passionate and excited about (which hasn’t been for some time) I go in, do my crap, and get out. Who needs friends?
At the same time, I think it’s good to network. You don’t have to be besties to be connected to the people you work with. Good luck!
Very true. But it’s a hell of a lot easier to make them do shit for you if you are friends.
I’m like the opposite of the Angela in the office for the reasons that you stated towards the end. Kill ‘em with kindness type of reasons.
Whenever I try to do that, I just end up vomiting in my hair. Does not compute.
If I worked in an office, I’m pretty sure I would be a bitch too. Well, not a bitch, just not open and friendly, per se. Most people annoy me. Plus, I’m not a morning person AT ALL, and I hear most jobs start before 10 am. Hmmmm…
I think I am going to have to get over these issues pretty soon. Haha.
Yes, you are! But how good will it be to be home.
You and I, we’re not dissimilar. 6 years in the same job and I’ve never made anything more than the minimal professional effort. New job soon, I plan to make more effort with people.
AWY, I ND a DMP so I RLY HPE THR is PTY of TPR OWSE I’m up SHT CRK.
I UNDERSTOOD THAT WHOLE ENTIRE THING. You see what this place has done to me???
P.S. Was there any corn?
Sweden is the executive office bitch and she’s lasted through scores of layoffs. I don’t know how she does it. No, she doesn’t sleep with anyone there. I’ve told her often she should start blogging for the greater good, but she says she’s too much of a bitch to help anyone out. LOL
Yeah, I’m definitely not boning anybody. That’d be more work than actually being nice. Yuck.
DIIITTTTO! Everything you said. I’m Captain Cuntalot at work because the thought of becoming friends with more people and then having to suffer through small talk is a punishment beyond punishments. But I hear ya, I guess we have to grow up at some point. Boohoo. Wah. Call the wahmbulance.
“Captain Cuntalot”!!!! I SO WANT THAT ON MY GRAVE.
Or at least bedazzled on a T shirt. Either way.
I totally feel you! The bigger the office the harder it is for me. I do NOT like… even remotely… office politics and trying to be the one people like.
Anyway, I’m learning that you need to do this if you want to keep or get a job. Slowly but surely.
I just hope we’re quick enough… blah.
My job involves seeing my coworkers come in and out of my work area all day long, so come lunch time, I like to eat by myself and read/draw/listen to my ipod. Some people think that this makes me standoffish or cold, but I need my alone time and, like you, I really HATE bullshit small talk.
My alone time is so very, very precious. I have been known to hide as I walked by coworkers in the cafeteria so they wouldn’t invite me to sit with them…
Wow, I would have never imagined you were the cold bitch in the office. I hate small talk as well. We have 4 people in my office so I have no choice but to be friendly, but if I don’t like someone-its apparent-there’s just no faking it.
The small office is both a blessing and a curse that way. I KNOW I would get stuck with one person I daydreamed about murdering.
I’m the cold bitch too. I will even make up elaborate stories often placing the blame on my husband or dog as to why I can’t attend office parties, group lunches or birthday gatherings. Ugh. But you know what I’m fine with it. If I get to know people I might actually start caring about them and then there will probably be tears on the day that I leave for a job that doesn’t pay me in pennies.
Don’t change! Angela is my favorite character.
Seriously. I got asked NINETEEN TIMES to play or cheer for the company soccer game last Saturday. If my parents hadn’t been in town, I would have made up something, like “Sorry, I’ll be dead that day.”
it’s a difficult thing at work b/c getting too involved w/your coworkers leads to gossip but not being involved enough makes you seem like a bitch. i’m not sure i’ve found a happy medium but i can say i work with my office door shut ALL the time.
i used to bartend as well and you are absolutely right that you get better tips when you’re mean. period.
Oh, I hate you for having an office door. But it’s good that I don’t, or no one would ever, EVER see me.
I second your motion for not getting to know your coworkers at all. I keep it the same way.
It’s just so blissful to not have to pretend other people’s kids are cute.
Don’t worry, I’m sure you can become the sweet Pam of the office soon.
At my old job, I had a work husband, which made it SOOO much easier. I think I need to hunt for a replacement.
Does it still make me the office cunt if I only masturbate to the unicorn and narwhal beanie babies?
I think if there’s a lute playing in the background it’s okay.
I’ve noticed a reoccuring theme to the comments today – you really attract the ‘office bitches’, dontcha?
Hmmmm, interesting.
Before you drop me in snark infested waters, pleas know that I’m not judging, for I too am among the following…just pointing it out is all. I think us strong personalities get a bad rap. Yeah…that’s it… a bad rap.
“Strong personalities” is like the handicapped version of “bitch”… you know, like “vertically challenged”?
I, um, got nothin’ for ya here, LiLu. When asked my biggest weakness a former employer responded “She was too nice”.
Ironically, although I’m cold, I still feel bullied by one of the assistants… the one I’m kind of friendly with. LESSON LEARNED.
Lilu I worked in a male dominated workplace for 20 years. I got a reputation and the nickname of Dragon Lady because I was relentless but nice got me nowhere with a bunch of no-necked, no-brained neanderthals. I am such a happier person now that I don’t HAVE to be the bitch. So is my family.
I don’t think I’m “Dragon Lady” so much as “Quietly Judging”.
Ummmmm yeah, I’ve actually looked at the ground as I’ve walked past people so as not to have to make small talk. I married someone who is the exact same way. Together we are a super bitoch couple. Oh well.
All the more reason you two need to move back here and be our new BFF couple.
I find it hard to believe that my lilu is the office see you next tuesday….if so, good for you for noticing and wanting to change!
I’m not actually cunty. Just… distancey. Cool?
You soooo need to be my new co-worker. We can sit in our offices and totally ignore eachother and not talk to anyone who works here. Really, I’ve said about 3 words to Icky No-Good Co-Worker in two years. I’m trying to make a world record.
Ha! You should keep a tally mark on your blog.
as long as you’re just the office bitch and not like the office smelly person i think that’s okay.
Haha! I promise! I even shower and re-deodorize after lunchtime workouts.
Yeah. Definitely find a work spouse. But if that doesn’t work, have a work-affair with a janitor and then you can make sure everyone gets the rash-giving TPR except you.
And the TLT SNKS*.
*Toilet Snakes, for the non-acronym speakers.
We have so many acronyms at my office, it’s ridiculous!
I haven’t been making the effort to make friends with too many people in my office. I’m not sure why. My company is really big (for me) – 300+ people. Maybe I know… 75?
Damn, girl. You’re kicking my ass in the friendly department!
I am the same way. I prefer to not know most of my co-workers and take pleasure in the fact that most of them know absolutely nothing about my personal life. If that makes me a bitch, well then. I am ok with that. I also really need that badge!
I know. If only it was an accepted universal symbol that you didn’t “do” smalltalk!
So we AREN’T supposed to say the things that we actually think????
Absolutely not. Bottle it up inside and cure it with vodka and ulcers like the rest of us!
Eh, being nice is overrated in the workplace. It’s hard for people to distinguish between nice and doormat . . . maybe because they rhyme? And I don’t think you’re proactive enough to call yourself the office bitch. It takes work, dedication and a whole lot of overtime to become the office bitch. Just ask my boss. You sound more like the chick that just doesn’t give a shit.
I totally am. I mean, I give a shit about getting my work done… just not your children’s 4th grade graduation ceremony. That’s okay, right?
I am uber buttoned up and professional at the office. I never talk about Jesus is a sarcastic way. Its pretty difficult.
I’ll believe it when I see it.
Work politics suck. I’m one of those overthinkers (comes from being burnt in several “crappy” jobs run by people with a need to validate themselves by abusing their power – am I bitter much).
I worry about what I say about my personal life, I worry when I’m sick and have to call in even though it’s true and I can’t help it, I either work too hard and get too attached to people or I go the Lilu way…
I just can’t get the balance right…
Let me know when you figure it out!!
Likewise, my dear. Likewise.
Wow, I am stunned! Here is some honest advice and it doesn’t matter if you work at a large place or a small office like my husband’s, I am going to tell you that is not the reputation you want. I am the office manager and obviously my husband is an owner along with his partner and the bitches/bastards go as quickly as they can feasibly get them out. Those employess may produce but they consider them bad apples! They think they create poor morale for the office. They label them downers and not team players and they do not promote them at all. My advice is always this, put on a happy face, fake it and bitch at home. If you have to create a venting blog then do it, oh no, wait that is mine, you can’t do that (lol) but now you know why I have a venting blog, I have to wear a smile at the office and I hate it!!!!!!
See, this is what I’m afraid of. Sigh… I’ll try to play nice.
How can you be such a biotch at work and such a not biotch in your blog?
Because you’re all on MY side.
I’m usually pretty reserved at work. It was about a year before I even made friends at one of my jobs. I was always more interested in my life outside of work. Maybe find a happy medium? Strike that. You don’t seem like the “happy medium” type. Just be yourself. And god help them all.
HA. If I was truly myself, I’m not sure I’d last the week…
I’m the bitch everywhere, all the time and people LOVE THAT SHIT. I bet people are dying to be your work friend and go out for lunch and email back and forth. I mean, I would force you to be my work bestie FTMFW…
IF ONLY!!!!
At the end of the day, you’re there to get paid – I think it’s fine if you don’t make friends.
Agreed. I also want to KEEP getting paid, though…
we would be the bitches of the office together then.
and we would rock it.
No one would knew what hit them.
“I should stop being such a cunt at work.” – VERY funny!
I saw someone wished they could work from home. Well, I started working from home a month ago….and it’s weird sometimes.
Yesterday and today I had to work from Panera for a few hours to get out of the house and keep sane. Otherwise, I’d start dressing my dogs in clothes and calling them “Brad from Accounting” and “John from IT”.
Soon they’d get Titles. Sadly, one would probably be my Manager.
Please to make them “Hi my name is” nametags and take pictures.
Definitely working my way toward office bitch. Mainly because I can’t deal with the seemingly thousands of “special” people they let work there.
Is it being the office bitch to be mean to the inept coworker who may or may not be on the autism spectrum? I might be going to hell.
And I love you for it.
Ha! I would love to wear my favorite t-shirt that reads simply “Go Away” and fast walk around the city with you. Stupid slow, old, young, unaware, selfish other people besides me.
They’re EVERYWHERE. It’s an epidemic!!! We’d be throwing bo’s all over the place.
I have a huge bag of M&Ms in my purse, and it makes me all hyper, which makes me less Angela-like. OR you could just drink a lot before work. The second idea is better. Scratch the first one.
There is a mini fridge stocked with booze 10 feet from my desk. Not even kidding.
I can never imagine you being a bitch, but of course I know you cant always be fun, crazy and bubbly especially at work. I like to stay professional and focus doing my things too, I havent worked yet but I like to think if you socialize so much with people who work with you and they know a lot about you, they can use the infos to their own advantages. I mean, co workers can stab anyone on the back. But of course it wont hurt to be nice a little, you’re right about promostions are usually given to people who are better liked, even though the experiences are almost similar.
Sigh. I suppose I can try to be nice A LITTLE.
Just a little though!
You don’t have to be everybody’s buddy at work. Just trustworthy and reliable. If others can trust you to do what you’re supposed to do, and whatever it is they need you for to help them do what they are supposed to do, then generally it does not matter if you are a bitch or a quiet mouse or a chatty cathy. I’d rather work with an honest bitch, than an underhanded or unreliable ‘nice’ person, any day.
Right?? That’s MY feeling on the matter… but then I watch sucking up pay off, and it makes me think.
I thought this quote was appropriate:
“The people you work with are just people you were thrown together with. Y’know, you don’t know them, it wasn’t your choice. And yet you spend more time with them than you do your friends or your family. But probably all you’ve got in common is the fact that you walk round on the same bit of carpet for eight hours a day. And so, obviously, when someone comes in who you have a connection with – yeah, and Dawn was a ray of sunshine in my life – it can mean a lot. But if I’m really being honest, I never really thought it would have a happy ending. I don’t know what a happy ending is. Life isn’t about endings, is it? It’s a series of moments. And um, if you turn the camera off, it’s not an ending is it? I’m still here. My life is not over. Come back here in ten years. See how I’m doing then. ‘Cause I could be married with children, you don’t know. Life just goes on.”
-Tim Canterbury
Being friendly with the coworkers around the office is completely overrated. Then lots of people ask you to do “little favors”. Those “little favors” turn into 20 extra hours a week and then you feel like blowing the joint up.
This has never happened to me. I just imagine that would happen.
Being friendly w/the ppl you work with is more important than skipping through the halls curtsying to the rest of the strangers there. Don’t worry!
i’m friendly with my coworkers but only one really knows how I am outside of work!
I once worked at this miserable company that liked to inflict the Company Getaways on us! Yeah, that’s what I really wanted to be doing with the only two days off from those crazies!
Thankfully, it was only every few months! They could of at least supplied Vodka!!! The office bitch there happened to be the boss’s wife. She always showed up and put her nose into everything!
I hate people sometimes!
You’ll be fine as long as your boss isn’t hyper paranoid about “image.” Or, better idea, just keep him in the dark. Or, if Washingtonian ever calls you to do Blogger Beat (have you done that? because if you haven’t that is unfathomable as you’d be goddamn perfect for it since you organize all those bloggy things and you’re frickin’ hilarious), either do it anonymously or make sure your boss doesn’t read that. Or make sure that he or she doesn’t read at all. Yes, just get an illiterate boss. Golden!
Honestly, everyone I work with is international and smart and important. I’d be SHOCKED if any of them ever read that.
COUGH COUGH WASHINGTONIAN COUGH
I’m going to take that. I will credit the genius that is you.
xoxo
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