Hey! Guess what. I’m only a LITTLE bit here today. I’m mostly over here, at Maxie’s place with one of the most deranged Would You Rather Wednesdays ever, thanks to the help of my dear friend Moog from Mental Poo. Go on, you know you want to click. I know you want to see that trainwreck, you sicko, you!
Ahem.
It’s actually quite appropriate that I’m posting on Maxie’s Pad (tee hee) today, given my current state…
Last night I started crying because we couldn’t find the episode of The Tudors where we’d left off. Seems reasonable, no? I thought so.
(Aunt Flo, you are a dirty, dirty whore.)
Anyhoo, B patted my hand and asked, “Would you like some wine?”
Good man.
He returned and I meekly thanked him as I took a big sip. Later, when I was slightly more sane, he showed me this.
(Click to enlarge.)
Sometimes, getting relationship advice from the internet is a great thing.
{ 93 comments }
Truer words have not been said. XD
For reals.
I love it. I’m laminating it and hanging it on the wall.
If only all men would abide by it.
Classic. ‘Nough said.
(Is “The Tudors” worth getting into? I wonder if that train has left the station.)
We’re absolutely loving it. Sex, violence, betrayal… what’s not to love?
That is frickin awesome. =)
I thought so!
Nickie´s last blog ..Broke.Down 09.
Yes, wine makes everything more tolerable! coupled with alka seltzers “wake up call” the next day. It doesn’t get any better
The things we go through as women. Sigh.
fizzgigabyte´s last blog ..Refreshed…?..
I know.
I get very emotional as well every month when I bleed from my crotch.
This is valid for guys, right?
I should probably go see my urologist.
Get ready for a helluva catheter.
moooooog35´s last blog ..Headline: “Apple Falls From Tree, Stays Close By”
I am emailing this graph to the hubs today. He needed to see this eons ago. I actually finished off a 1/2 jug of sangria last night and was a happy camper. Wine makes EVERYTHING better. You’ve got yourself a good man.
Haha I saw your tweet and was all, We are SO on the same page! <3
Kellie´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday
Oh, man, that is pure awesomeness!
Gold, absolute gold.
Melissa´s last blog ..Post-Breakup Protocol.
LOL! Aunt Flo is indeed a horrible shrew! She visits me EVERY time I go on vacation and almost visited on the week of my wedding!
See, its not just the mood swings, headaches, cramps, stomach indigestion, etc why women get cranky on their periods, its also the timing that pisses us right off!
The week of your WEDDING? Oh man, I would have flipped my shit.
HannahBlue´s last blog ..More Baked Goods and an Ugly Car
I make my own wine by getting the dog to squish grapes with her teeth after she’s eaten a half rotten squirrel then allowing it to ferment behind my fridge until it’s “wine”.
Yet another reason why I fail with the ladies.
Half a rotten squirrel, or a squirrel that’s half rotten? That’s probably where you’re going wrong.
Mike´s last blog ..A reminder of youth
Damn, B is trained well. And, yes, the Tudors is worth crying over. At least when the king is having some hot bedroom action.
Shirtless, preferably.
Who said that?
K @ Blog Goggles´s last blog ..Pug goggles
That was great! I could have put that to good use when I was younger- but I learned it the hard way…
As long as you learned.
I will be showing this to Matt tonight. Also, if it would be ok to replace wine with beer as I get awesome headaches from wine (even though sometimes I will torture my head to have a sip of that yummy goodness!).
Haha, I’m sure he won’t mind. I think the booze is the key, in whatever form…
Marie´s last blog ..#GmailFail
HA! I’m definitely showing this to DB…
We almost make it too easy for them.
But I thought you broke up…?
Taylor´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Goodbye?
My husband has learned he can never get on my bad side with wine or ice cream. It took him a HELL of a lot longer than B to figure that out. You are one lucky girl!
Wine and french fries for me. He knows me well.
Summer´s last blog ..I’m Back Bitches: Last Installment
So true…
So very.
Britt´s last blog ..Even YOU Can Bang Your Favorite Fictional Character!
Please to forward a copy of the chart suitable for printing? Please?
Forwarding now.
We are not that complex a creature.
Well…
Lemmonex´s last blog ..Same Old Song and Dance
Fucking awesome! I do believe I’ll print this and put it on Hubby’s dresser. He should learn a few things!
They all should.
kylie´s last blog ..Without Books and Music, Life Would Really SUCK!
Haha…I got that in an email just the other day. Too funny..and SO true
I know! Priceless.
Continuous Changes´s last blog ..Staying On Task…
Absolutely awesome. I’m sending that twitpic to my husband.
As you should.
Tabitha´s last blog ..Truth Tuesday: Never Have I Ever!
I am wallpapering my house with that…. Do people still use wallpaper?
Not if I can help it. Getting that stuff off is a BITCH.
B’s adorable…not to mention smart. I forwarded that pic to some male friends. Soon there will be much happier ladies in the ATL.
You’re doing the right thing.
plt´s last blog ..Hair to There
Is it noon yet? I could really go for a
bottleglass of wine….It’s 11:11, and I’m making that my wish.
MJ´s last blog ..Giveaway at My Tea Cups in Peony
I love this chart. I’m copying it for future reference.
It should be on every couple’s fridge.
The Peach Tart´s last blog ..Money Stress best solved by tap dancing, yoga or sex?
LOL, Smart man. I shall embrace this chart.
Good man.
justjp´s last blog ..5 things you didn’t know
It is a temporary fix! Because then you just become drunk AND emotional. It is like a bear / shark hybrid of destruction.
Well, maybe. But try taking my wine AWAY and see what happens.
Narm´s last blog ..You’re All Fucked
I thought ALL women already came with their OWN wine?
Or was that whine?
Poor Anne, lost her head
Thought she owned Harry’s bed.
She should have known that as the King,
He’s entitled to Fuck anything.
Wait. Anne dies?!
Just kidding.
Ed Adams´s last blog ..Tuesday quickie……
LOVE IT!! I’m so emailing this to my BF and then hanging it on the fridge so that he will see it every day and memorize that shit.
(oh and Aunt Flo is most definitely a dirty f’in whore!)
She really, really is.
Lauren´s last blog ..game on.
I need to show that to The Mister. Or have it tatooed on his arm like a cheat sheet.
You’re so thoughtful, making it easier on him.
Kim´s last blog ..Random Thoughts
He’s a smart man. Even if he didn’t come up with it on his own, he clearly knows how to follow advice. What a keeper.
(Though, Narm makes an excellent point…)
It’s a Catch 22. Still better with wine, though.
Liebchen´s last blog ..Maybe the New Year should be celebrated in September
That’s the best chart ever. I’m going to laminate it and put it on our fridge.
I concur.
Lindsay´s last blog ..Close Encounters
I love that chart! So very true.
Amen!
Loys´s last blog ..Way Back WhensDay: My perfect summers
Oh, I’ve seen that one. And it is greatness. Pretty much all life’s problems can be solved with “Here, have some wine.” Except, “Um, hey, I think you’re an alcoholic.”
Oh, well.
Well, even that’s a temporary fix…
shine´s last blog ..How (not) to have a good birthday.
I just sent a link to that picture to the boy. I hope he heeds its sage advice.
As do I, my dear.
Miss Rosa´s last blog ..A Transcript of an Actual Conversation Had by Me Today
I just went to a wine festival….recommendation here is
Warner vineyard’s peach and honey..mmmmmmm
Ooooo. Perfect for the end of summer!
caroline´s last blog ..
That chart is awesome:)
No one denies this.
Brian´s last blog ..Vengeance of the Party
I cried last night watching the season finale of Dance Your Ass Off. That Flo is a cunt, indeed.
Hope you are feeling less “enhanced” today. xo
I am very dehanced, thanks love.
freckledk´s last blog ..That Guy.
Wine is a good thing. Nuff said.
It is a GREAT thing.
Brown Girl´s last blog ..Dye It
This rules. RULES.
It is THE Rule.
LivingWicked´s last blog ..Pillow Talk – 1
That should be taught in every school. Even home schools. Think of the lives that could be saved.
Right along with Sex Ed. Perfection.
LA Cochran´s last blog ..“Happy talk, keep talkin’ happy talk” –South Pacific (Rodgers & Hammerstein)
And this is now the background on my computer. I knew I loved geeks for some reason-it is the charts!
Charts are fun!
Oh Internets, I heart you. I love “here’s my paycheck” and “look at you!” Sorry for the tears, RiLu. Aunt Flo gets me all loopy and crying at commercials and garbage cans that are full and need to be taken out but haven’t…yeah, I think she’s coming soon.
Ugh, I am sorry, hon. Hopefully you weather it better than I.
Ela´s last blog ..Falling For You
Wow – I love the wine chart! I’ve already forwarded it on to my husband for future reference
It can only do good things.
Practically Perfect…´s last blog ..Scrubs and Shoes
When we learn about tampons and fallopian tubes in grade 7, the boys should be in another room memorizing that card.
Amen and hallelujah. Get on that, Obama.
repliderium.com´s last blog ..Being Prepared for Disaster
That is freaking hilarious!
I thought so.
Cassie´s last blog ..WW: Monkey Opera
This chart is completely perfect, I’ll be sending it off to my boyfriend right now. The offers of wine should never stop flowing. I’ve become such a cliche with my still broken ankle as I lay in my bed with my single-serve bottle of wine and some vicodin.
But it is such a beautiful cliche.
Children of the 90s´s last blog ..Clarissa Explains It All
Lol, every guy should have that list!
Tattoed on his wrist.
Manju´s last blog ..Because anyone who says sunshine is the only thing that brings happiness, has never danced in the rain…
LMAO!!!! loooove that chart!!
Yay!
Randi´s last blog ..Another Letter…
The hell with wine, whiskey on the rocks is the only thing that tames this shrew, with a side of crazy pills helps too.
Please to pass the crazy pills.
okay, this chart is awesome!!
just copied and pasted and emailed it to my fiance!
Your marriage will be bliss.
this KILLS ME! i’m posting it on hunny’s facebook IMMEDIATELY!
It must be shared.
I’m still waiting for that dirty skank to make her appearance. I started sobbing when the little man broke a lamp. He was all…dude what is your problem> It’s just a lamp. If 14 month olds could conversate, that’s what he would have said anyway. Ah ha ha
Hahaha!!!
I made a flow chart similar to this, only more confusing because…well I’m more confusing.
Last night I bumped my leg on the table, cursed and then screamed loudly at a bug and my husband looked away from the TV about 3 minutes after that to see what was up.
Sensitivity is the game…
Wine makes everything better. EVERYTHING. Going to the pad now!
“The pad”… *snarf*
Elizabeth Marie´s last blog ..Freaky People On Google!
LOL that chart is hysterical and seriously, getting me wine would work pretty much every time.
I know. It has a 99.99999% return rate.
little miss obsessive´s last blog ..New Boy, New Crazy
baaaaahahahahahaha. i missed your little corner of interwebs. that is a wonderful diagram. B is possibly the smartest man of all time.
It missed you, too!
GOLD! There’s really not much more to say…
Wine, once again, helps to solve major dilemma! Solve your problems with a bottle of plonk – DRINK MORE WINE PEOPLE!
Support the economy! It’s the American thing to do.
Karls´s last blog ..Premature greying
Well Duh! Not saying that about B, since I don’t know the man, but I play it safe and always go for wine.
That didn’t go so well with the teetotaler. Damn you can’t please everyone!
HA. Well, 99% ain’t bad…
Big Money Tony´s last blog ..Review: Charlie Palmer’s
Was the bottom line cut off? The one that starts off with “Would you like to go to bed with me?” and ends with “Here, have some tequila.”
HAHAHAHA. B missed that one, hence why he only got side boob the first night I brought him home.
Jay´s last blog ..Lazy Scrap
Pure awesomeness.
All 8 Tudors episodes from this season are still sitting on my TIVO, unwatched. It’s a good show, but in your case, apparently not quite good enough to easily remember where you left off . . . and in my case, not quite good enough to go ahead and start.
You were wanting Tudors opinions in your comments section, right?
Riff Dog´s last blog ..Saying Goodbye to Vanessa
The other week aunt flo made me cry when there were too many things on TV I wanted to watch all at once! She’s a mean mean lady!
Wine anyone? Wine??
jen – tsk´s last blog ..Twitter Weekly Updates for
I’ll have to print that for my boyfriend. He must learn to be more like B. (Bet you never thought you’d hear ANYONE say that.)
MinD´s last blog ..Perhaps.
Oh The Tudors, I missed that when it was showing, I better get my hands on them. Who wouldn’t like to see men, rowdy, dangerous and sexy on horseback? King Arthur knight of the round table is so my era.
Oh the bf is going to get that chart, altho I don’t drink, I think the last one would be good if replaced by ‘retail therapy’
or better yet chocolate, maybe make up, or football!! >:D But yeah every men needs that in their wallet, in the bathroom and car.
a!kO´s last blog ..Piece of the week: Greensleeves
omg that is so perfect…I’m sending that to my husband stat
hanako66´s last blog ..Etsy Wednesday
Yay!!! You are watching The Tudors!!!!! How do you like it? Was I right about the sex and violence or was I right???
Jules´s last blog ..Speaking of Kenny Loggins….
Best thing I’ve seen all day!
Herding Cats´s last blog ..I give good blog…
good work b. good work.
and literally EVERY MAN should have that card laminated, memorized and tattooed on their forearm if they want to live longer than 24.
siovhan´s last blog ..An Ode to Cardboard…
haha that picture is amazing. and sent to matt.
katelin´s last blog ..Happy Birthday to my Dad….and Keanu!
That is pure brilliance.
I am going to post this on my refrigerator….2 steps from the wine bottles
Heather´s last blog ..My baby’s growing up
bleeding from the vag is always the worst time
of the month. talk about a friggin’ hassle.
love thisssss. amen.
amanda´s last blog ..lights, camera, action!
Just the 100th person or so to chime in and say that was AWESOME and all guys should definitely live by it! Depending on the severity of the situation, vodka can be substituted.
Karen´s last blog ..Mastering the craft
Amen sister.
mandy´s last blog ..The Changing of the Seasons
That chart is so, so true.
Its like, is there anything the Internet can’t do?
hahahaha… I LOVE THIS!! Any of my ex’s will say that this is perfect for me. All they had to do was show up with a bottle of wine, and our evening would go so smoothly. I hope you don’t mind if I snag this chart!
Kelly
Stargazer´s last blog ..Some new art.
Yep, that aunt Flo is such a bitch. I am so copying that chart so I can show it to all my computor illiterate friends and husband(meaning they don’t EVER use a computor…what the hell?) because they will laugh their asses off. I really should make a sign to hang in my house that say’s “Here, have some wine.” Perfect.
Lori´s last blog ..In the moment
So I need to offer more women wine? Interesting…
Patrick´s last blog ..New Persuasion: Personas Visualizes Your Online Identity
Oh my, fabulous! Your B is a very very wise male. Keep him!
LOL I’m loving the chart, will show it to my peeps haha
That chart is AWESOME!!! You are always so funny and brighten up my day!
hustler´s last blog ..September Challenges!
I could use some wine. And some chocolate cake.
Hahahahha… wow. Well played, B, well played.
Shop Girl*´s last blog ..Seeing Red — Are Redheads Really Endangered?
Wine cures. It just does.
lisahgolden´s last blog ..What in the Hell Is SHE Talking About?
Good man.
I need wine NOW!
The mighty power of wine!
When Aunt Flo is visiting moi, I cry every single time one of the ASPCA commercials comes on. Damn that Sarah McLachlan (!?!??!) and her siren song.
That chart is brilliant.
Wine makes everything better. All men should be given this once they start dating. It should be their BIBLE.
Jamie´s last blog ..…
Wow! I had a similar crazy moment yesterday.
I was driving home after work and came accross a demonstration. It was a bunch of California State employees with signs complaining about the furloughs they are being forced to take.
I started bawling.
Damned you Aunt Flo! Damned you to hell!
twinkie´s last blog ..Waking Up In Vegas
my bf actually came home last night while i was organizing the closet and took my wine.
then i killed him.
nicole´s last blog ..in which mr. z eats his words (and then almost barfs them back up)
Good boy B!
Very smart man you have their Lilu, I am now gonna go staple this to the inside of Big Man’s wallet.
Lil’ Woman´s last blog ..I’m Such A Blog Tease Aren’t I?
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