***Update: Doods! My site caught swine flu and was down all day yesterday. It should be up and running fine now- vaccinate your children!- but do me a solid and let me know if you notice anything wonky, mmmkay? Xoxo***
Anyhoo. Today shall be a better day. My morning started like this:
Coworker: How old is your little sister?
Me: 21. No, wait, 22. CRAP, no, she’s TWENTY THREE!!!!
Coworker: (laughing at me) Oh, so you’re ancient, right?
(Actually, exactly what I’d been thinking was “Holy fuck, I’m OLD.”)
My baby sister turns 23 years young today. The hooker will always be younger than me, but somehow, I love her anyway.
Dear Sis,
I’m sorry for the time I dislocated your arm. (Accident! But still.)
I really miss making LEGO worlds with you.
I wish I’d let you play with the Barbies that still had hair more often.
Oh, and stolen less of, um, ALL your toys.
I love how ridiculously smart, funny, and compassionate you are. (Mostly the funny. You make me laugh like no other. But I can make you snarf milk through your nose, so we’re even.)
I’m proud of you for knowing yourself so well. You’re one of the few who never seemed to struggle with that angsty existential crisis so many of us do in our formative years.
(Guess I took on that burden for you…)
Ahem!
My only complaint about you? That you haven’t watched Always Sunny.
There’s a present for you in the mail… you have no excuse now, my dear.
(Um, surprise?)
Happy Birthday, Lil Sis.
P.S. Moog, Mike, Narm, JP, and most other readers with penii… I am just waiting for you to make some joke about banging my sister. MY MOM READS THIS. Just a friendly reminder.
(Now they’re going to make a joke about banging my mom. Warning FAIL.)
P.P.S. If you’re a blogger in the DC area, you should be a member of the free group. The lovely Lexa and I are hitting up their Meetup tonight at Madame’s Organ around 7, and we’d love to see you there too.
Don’t forget to RSVP if you’re coming!

















{ 100 comments }
Awwww…your lil sis is so cute.
Looking forward to seeing you tonight hooker.
<3
Bonus: There’s 4,000 other bars in the area if it blows. Just sayin…
Nice highlights!
Kidding, you and your sister are both adorable, although she does look like she’s a little less nuts than the rest of us.
I KNOW. They’re horrible.
She is a lot less nuts. Thank god. I don’t think my mother could handle two of us…
We all had those highlights in college…no shame.
It is a lesson better learned when we are young and cute.
.-= Lemmonex´s last blog ..Othered =-.
Wait… your sister hasn’t seen Always Sunny???????? I don’t understand!
I know. I KNOW!!!
.-= Jaime´s last blog ..“What If?” Wednesday {NaBloPoMo 9} =-.
To be sure, both Mom and Dad had a strong hand in producing the two of you, but the impact of the big sister can never be underestimated. Happy Birthday, Lil Sis.
Oh, I’m sure I had a hand in toughening her up…
.-= restaurant refugee´s last blog ..The Fall Meme =-.
i’ve had highlights once in my life, and i must say, yours take the cake for awesomeness.
happy birthday to your sistah!
It’s like I painted them with a Clorox bleach pen. Ugh.
.-= cavy´s last blog ..labor day lessons. =-.
yup, i think every female has experienced the scary highlights, you rock them though.
Happy Birfday to your sister!!
It’s easy to rock them when you ACTUALLY THOUGHT THEY LOOKED GOOD. Sigh.
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..Memoir =-.
She’s younger, but you’re prettier! But she still is younger….
That is completely untrue. She is gorgeous.
Weird…my sister turns 11 today
Aww! Those were the days.
.-= Alana @ The Good Girl Gone Blog´s last blog ..A wedding in photos =-.
I’m the youngest of three girls. Ain’t nothing like a sister.
I mean that in a very sentimental way, even if it reads kind of gansta-ish.
I’ll take it as both.
.-= Hannah´s last blog ..On being THAT girl. =-.
..and that’s how my boss caught me trying to screw my monitor…
He always wondered what that giant bottle of moisturizer was for.
.-= moooooog35´s last blog ..The Crisco Kid =-.
I get so jealous of people with birthdays. I wish it was my birthday every day of the year . . . oh wait, then I would have aged 365 years by the end of a year. Actually, that doesn’t work for me . . .
Hope your sis has an awesome bday!
I know. Birthdays are the bestest. I love a whole
dayweek for ME!.-= Paula´s last blog ..THE THIGH’S THE LIMIT . . . =-.
Your mom reads your blog? Your mom must be the awesomest mom in the world.
She’s up there.
.-= Kristina P.´s last blog ..Sticking My Neck Out =-.
Happy Birthday to your sis!
And what about the gay brothers/sexy ladies of the blogging world, are you saying that your dad is not bangable to this demographic!?
Tsk Tsk Lilu, Tsk Tsk
P.S. just kidding mom, i promise I will not try to bang your hubs!
Whoa. You went there.
*vomits*
my brother’s been pretty brilliant from the start, too. what is up with the older siblings being stuck with the angsty existential stuff?
not that i would know anything about that. just, you know, asking.
It’s probably because of our incredible guidance and role modelishness that they DON’T.
.-= f.B´s last blog ..good Samaritans, an ass and a bureaucracy =-.
Such a cute picture of you two! Minus points for not watching It’s Always Sunny! Will give points back once she watches.
Oh, she’ll watch. And she’ll LIKE it.
My sister is 3 years older than me, and I never, ever, fail to remind her of that!
We’re three years too.
ASSHAT.
<3
totally dislocated my younger sisters arm as well. But when your young and pretending the stair case is essentially Kilimanjaro, Everest, and the Aggro crag from Guts all rolled into one, wouldn’t you drag your younger sibling to the summit for the spectacular view?
That’s totally fair, in my book.
.-= timoteo´s last blog ..This is important… maybe. =-.
you two look so much alike. Adorable. And if you can make her snarf milk through her nose than I’m pretty sure she’s gonna love always sunny.
Our sense of humor is basically identical. It will change her life.
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..Day 39: Running to Stand Still =-.
I am a steadfast hater of the “fist under the chin” pose, but it honestly looks okay in that pic.
Hey random question…is it pronounced
1.) Lie-Loo
2.) Lee-Lu
3.) Li-Loo (short I)
I always assumed #1, and I’m pretty sure you said it that way on a vlog, but on another readers vlog they said #2.
Generally #2 is the consensus, but I ain’t picky. Whose vlog was it?
Aww… I always wanted a sister. Especially a little one I could boss around.
A penii? Not so much.
Oh, I bossed enough for the both of us.
.-= K @ Blog Goggles´s last blog ..Grocery list =-.
Awh that’s nice ….although I always thank God I was spared a sister, big or little!!!
And yeah I wondered what was up with your site yesterday!
Yeah, it had a case of the hiccups. A severe one. But we’re all good now!
.-= Hermia´s last blog ..A tribute to the former couple Peter and Jordan …sorry, Katie …. =-.
Happy birthday to your sis! Don’t worry about forgetting her age. I forget my own age half the time.
I always have to remind B how old he is. And his birthday was LAST WEEKEND.
.-= Kim´s last blog ..I’m Getting Old…And That’s Perfectly Fine =-.
oh my god, that lego world is epic. i hope your sister has a most beautiful birthday!
So do I. Wish I could be with her!
.-= jasmine´s last blog ..you don’t know about a girl =-.
Oh, happy birthday to your little sister, too! It’s everyone’s birthday today (not mine). Screw it, I’m celebrating my birthday anyway. Just, um, not that scary 3-0 one that’s coming up. How about today, I turn 25 again?
25 has been a great one for me. I wish I could hang out here just a little longer.
.-= shine´s last blog ..Some people just shouldn’t pole dance. =-.
*AHEM* If you say you’re old, then what am I my dear? Retirement worthy?
Happy Birthday LiLu’s little sis!
Haha! We each have our own “hump” in front of us. It’s all relative…
.-= Marie´s last blog ..Hello Again =-.
Nothing like a little swine flu and reminder of highlights from hell to put things in perspective! Happy birthday to your sister!
Thanks, love!
.-= Sassy Britches´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Silent (Now!) Visitors =-.
Wait, highlights are out?
Oops…
Happy birthday to your sister!
Chunky, Kate Gosselin-esque highlights are out. Yours are what we call “natural” and therefore lovely, my dear.
.-= Liebchen´s last blog ..A little taste of Southern comfort =-.
Never heard of Always Sunny, and I’m a regular Roger Ebert (minus the glasses and lard ass).
As for SiS……well…..since mom’s watching I’ll just say Happy Birthday. Unless mom’s REALLY into “watching”, then that’s a different story.
Oh, gross. You so went there.
.-= Ed Adams´s last blog ..Tuesday Quickies……..#2 =-.
I’m not a member of the bloggers meetup, but both my running group and my volleyball group are organized through there!
Sweet! You should join
.-= Beach Bum´s last blog ..I did it! =-.
photo of you guys is so cute!
happy birthday to you sis!!! wonderful post for her too…
Aww, thanks dear.
I wish I had a sister. I have half-brothers, but they’re all stinky and not cool.
Its awesome that you two are close.
Literally stinky? I think they make sprays for that.
.-= Stacie´s last blog ..I Would Like To Eat Sushi Off Of Your Stomach =-.
Aw, so cute!
And she’s never seen Always Sunny!!?!?!! WTF? I am counting down the days until it is back on! Which, btw, is only a week and a day!!!! YAY!
I know!!! September 17th FTW!!!!!!!!!!!
.-= Kellie´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
Yes, yes, you are SO OLD.
Ahem.
We all had the chunky highlights. And lowlights. And some…still do…eeeeeeee.
There was a time when I wanted to go red. A precious few can really pull it off… wink.
.-= A´s last blog ..Just in case you had it all figured out =-.
It’s okay to have Kate Gosselin’s highlights, but don’t be cutting your hair that way.
Every time I go get my hair did my hairdresser bitches about how ugly Kate’s is and threatens to drive up to PA to fix it for free. I really, really think she should.
.-= littlemsblogger´s last blog .. =-.
Oh yeah, happy birthday to your little sis – September is a great birthday month and the fact that today is 9/9/09 …how cool.
I know! And somewhere, lots of little people are turning 9 ON 9/9/09. WAY cool.
.-= littlemsblogger´s last blog .. =-.
My brother is 23 now and it makes me nauseous. He pretty much got stuck at 18 in my head. Of course, he still acts like he’s 12, so maybe that’s why it’s hard to remember.
Happy birthday to your Sis! She’ll love Always Sunny
.
I know. Except she was always more mature than me, so I really have no excuse for thinking she’s still 16…
.-= M´s last blog ..Taking the Plunge =-.
Whoa, great day to have a bday! Isn’t 9/9/09 supposed to be all magical and shit? Maybe wizards will pop out of her cake and she’ll fly away on a unicorn! I hope so! Be sure to post pics from her unicorn ride!
Btw, that freaking lego dragon reminds why boys are so dumb. Thank you.
Um. Despite this post, if she really gets a unicorn? I am totally stealing it.
.-= hiphophippie.com´s last blog ..Update Your Prostate =-.
Happy birthday to your little sister!
I have an older brother, so I’ll always be the younger one! Mwhahahahah!
Funny how that works.
.-= HannahBlue´s last blog ..Sunday and Labor Day Monday =-.
You’re both pretty, but when did you get unconjoined?
HA. Gross.
.-= eric´s last blog ..Those Kids Were Almost on the Short Bus (Autobus Quasi Disastro) =-.
you and your sister are so lucky to have each other! and you both are adorable! I have no idea what decade I’m even in, but I’m pretty sure I’m much older than you guys. My daughter is starting to look at colleges. But hey, that’s OKAY.
Oh, it’s more than okay. It’s totally exciting.
.-= Margo´s last blog ..Cleaning House and Action Items =-.
Happy B-day LiLu’s little sister! Ah to be 23 again!! BTW LiLu – I’ll do you a solid and say that big sister’s are the best – at least mine is…although she never dislocated my shoulder
but I’ll blame that on her being 15 yrs older than me…
Haha that’s fair! I think I would have been much more gentle if I’d been 15 years older…
.-= Jesse Jo´s last blog ..Letters to my life… =-.
So the menage trois is out? Damn, time for plan B. Although, I don’t think I can be with anyone who doesn’t know about the glory that is Sunny.
I’m scared of Plan B…
Happy birthday, lil sis!
I had an AWESOME comment for your post yesterday. But your blog was fuckered. And now I’ve forgotten it. It would have changed your life and made me your hero.
You did manage to work breeding scorpions into it. That’s a pretty darn awesome visual.
.-= Peter´s last blog ..i either like this one, or it sucks a lot. perhaps both. =-.
I always wanted a little sister.
Which is probably why there are so many pictures of my brother in his younger years with girls’s shoes on.
Ahahaha! Well, what else are younger brothers for?
.-= J´s last blog ..Where’s The Valve For Emotions Again? =-.
My sister made me play with all the naked headless barbies. I always named them Candy and they were always flight attendants…
Happy Birthday Lil’ Lilu….whoo say that 10 times fast!
It sounds like they belong in an episode of Mad Men…
.-= Nikki´s last blog ..Traveling with wellies… =-.
Lol, my baby sister turned 21 this summer and it made me feel old!
Yep. It doesn’t get any better…
.-= Katy´s last blog ..First day =-.
at least your hair isn’t cut like a dead wombat…. your highlights are totally acceptable.
A dead wombat… I am trying so hard not to google that…
.-= GingerMandy´s last blog ..999. I own it. =-.
happy birthday, lil sis.
when you are feeling down about your little sister being younger than you, just remember: you were born first, that means your parents love you more.
oh, but just tell your sister the part about happy birthday, not the part about your parents loving you more.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
.-= nicole´s last blog ..in which mr. z eats his words (and then almost barfs them back up) =-.
Your little sister is as adorable as you!!!
A big Happy Birthday to your sister:)
P.S. glad you are up and running, I could read you yesterday off my google reader but could not comment(:
I know! It made me sad in the pants. But thank goodness we’re all set now!
.-= Lucy´s last blog ..Only Things I can say! Don’t You Even Think About It!! =-.
Happy Birthday to your sister. I used to beat the crap out of my sister, but never dislocated anything…lol
Hope you have a blast at your get together….can’t wait to see pics and read all about what happened.
We were never really beaters, so much. We fought with our WORDS.
And also by touching each other’s sides in the car.
.-= caroline´s last blog ..Amber the ham!!!!! =-.
*inspects Kate Gosselin-style highlights with rebellious glee*
I know. I KNOW.
Aww. I wish I had a sister. Yours sounds nearly as awesome as you!
She is THE awesome.
.-= Summer´s last blog ..Zombies, Screaming, Nightlights… And Yes I’m Saving Money For Their Therapy When They’re Grown =-.
I’m not sure how it’s ethical for anyone to make jokes about banging either of you, since by judging from that last pic, neither of you are a day over 13. Save that shit for 4chan people!
Haha- thank you, my dear.
I think.
.-= Jay´s last blog ..The Stoner Diaries: College-Level Snack Engineering =-.
Happy bday, LiLu Jr.!
So … is it inappropriate if I make a joke about banging your mom? I do have a vagina.
I think, somehow, that actually makes it more appropriate.
I would rather bang you. Your sister is too young for me.
Something tells me B wouldn’t mind all that much…
.-= LivingWicked´s last blog ..Complimentary Candy & Opinions = to Aholes, Etc. =-.
aww… i just got to see my sister last week in cali, and this makes me miss her again. happy birthday, lilu’s sister!
i’d totally come tonight, except i think your website gave ME swine flu. i am going home and dying tonight instead.
Friday!
.-= Alice´s last blog ..like any of you didn’t know about the pole dancing already.. =-.
Happy Birthday to your sister! xoxo
Thanks love!
.-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Where In The World Is Tony Bennett? =-.
You make me giggle…that is all. oh and you two are cuties!
Thanks love.
.-= Kathleen´s last blog ..Ahhh-Motorcycle…Ahhh-We are Free =-.
Geez.. have a kid or something! I didn’t say she was not beautiful, I said you we’re better looking! You are the walkin’ talkin’ example of how a man, doing a simple compliment- gets in deep sh*t, and did not intend to… talking to a woman is an insult waiting to happen…females think like a wet computer…
A wet computer? I’m not even touching that one…
Happy Birthday Lil Sis of LiLu!
(which, for the record, I’ve always pronounced Lie-Loo)
And as long as your highlights aren’t like “Carrot Top” orange, I think it’s all good!
True. I wanted to go red at one point… thank goodness I was stopped.
.-= MsDarkstar´s last blog ..Chipping away at sanity… =-.
Aw! Happy Birthday Little Sister/Fellow Virgo! Lilu, you are the most awesomest siter ever! My sisters never apologized for anything…
Believe me, it took a while. <3
.-= Stephanie´s last blog ..Another Reason I Love Jenny the Bloggess =-.
Awwwww yay!! You guys are man slayers. HOTTIES.
Happy Birthday lil hooker!
Rawwwwwr.
.-= Elizabeth Marie´s last blog ..Consider This a Courtesy Card… =-.
9/9/09 is a great day indeed! In fact, its my birthday too:)
The big 3-0 today! So, I hope your sissy (or you) are not feeling to old today;)
Dueces.
Haha that helps a bit…
Happy Bday!
She’s never watched Always Sunny? Are you sure she’s not adopted?
By the way, I’m going to be doing Sunny recaps for Starpulse and I will soon be the proud recipient of four brandy new episodes before they even air. Each day I have to wait for them to arrive is agony.
Season 4 is arriving next Tuesday and I can’t FUCKING WAY. But I am still really jealous of you… care to share?
.-= BeckEye´s last blog ..Caption Crotch-test Contest #26 =-.
LOL about the warning fail.
And happy birthday to your sis!!!
She thanks you, I’m sure.
Happy Birthday to your little sis! SO nice of you to share Barbies once in awhile with her. Why is it that we all feel compelled to cut Barbie’s hair? My mom freaked out when I gave Barbie a crew cut. I ended up losing my Ken doll though and butch lesbo Barbie was a great stand in!
No no, you misunderstand. I occasionally shared HER Barbies with her… the ones I had stolen and cut the hair off.
.-= Kimberly´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – The Joy of Bubble Wrap =-.
Happy birthday to the Little Sister. My sister recently had her nineteenth birthday. THEY GROW UP SO FAST.
We should probably stop feeding them.
.-= Megan´s last blog ..Recipe: Easy Southwestern Chowder =-.
Ok Lilu.
Let’s see if I can make this as tasteful as possible.
Mrs. Lilu, If I got to call YOU mom that would be awesome.
How was THAT for tasteful. Didn’t expect that one huh
You are full of surprises, my dear.
.-= Mike´s last blog ..A height of lazy. =-.
happy birthday to your sister!
did you send her that lego snake in the mail? because that would be awesome.
I’d have to mark it FRA-GI-LAY. It’s Italian.
.-= katelin´s last blog ..Hollywood-O-Rama. =-.
Happy Birthday Lil’ Sis! And at least you don’t have the Kate G feathers.
I would have offed myself, were that the case. Or at least my true friends would have.
Dang! You foiled my “sex with mom” joke! Was it really that obvious??? I feel like such a hack now.
Seriously, you two are both cute as buttons. Even cuter than Ryan!
I know you boys.
.-= Riff Dog´s last blog ..Meet Kylie at the Hotel =-.
awwwwwwww, happy birthday to mini lilu!
<3
.-= hanako66´s last blog ..Etsy Wednesday – Pretty, Pretty Dresses! =-.
Oh happy birthday mini-LiLu. I hope it’s full of inappropriate amounts of inebriation, hott men, and lots and lots of fun.
As every birthday should be.
.-= siovhan´s last blog ..my brain is seriously broke. =-.
LOL joke about “banging your sister”, how Barney Stinson of you guys. Happy birthday to your sis, you really look alike, both are beautiful though
Lilu, maybe someone have told you this but I watched the early seasons of ANTM, and you kinda looklike Ann ( Annalaina Marks ) ? Come on, has anyone told you this? Pretty striking resemblance if i might add
don’t kill me yet.
Actually no one has, but I google-imaged her and I see it!
.-= Andhari´s last blog ..Sugar Mama No More! =-.
Girl, you are NOT old. I am. My daughter informed me that my new bangs make me look younger, because they hide the wrinkles on my forehead. WTF??
Anyways, I have a little sis too, and nothing in the world tops the relationship we have… Nothing…. Happy Day to your lil sis!!!!
Hahaha! You need to do another “Shiz My Kids Say”!
.-= Kris´s last blog ..Bad kitty. BAD!!!! =-.
Such a sweet post! Happy Birthday to your little Sis.xo
Thanks love!
Hi! I used to blog under Continuous Changes, but now i’m at Rockin’ Worlds Since 1985!
You and your sister are so cute! You look a like! Happy Birthday to her! I’m the only girl between 2 boys and would have loved to have a sister!
My post for tomorrows TMI is embarrassing and gross! Just a forewarning!
Ohhh, I am excited…
.-= Tiffani´s last blog ..Rockin’ Worlds… =-.
“Snarf” milk – it’s an excellent word but I believe the correct technical term is Trons
I managed to Trons Coke once….No, No not the white powder the black fizzy liquid. I’m not sure I ever recovered….
I was skeptical at first, but it’s in Urban Dictionary, so it must be the truth!
.-= BlackLOG´s last blog ..V2009 – Day Two =-.
I have a sister who is just a year younger (okay, 16 months). When we were little, she used to think she would grow up to be older than me (and a boy, but whatever). It used to drive me crazy. I was the oldest! Oh, but now? How I wish it were true!
Hahaha awwww, that’s adorable!
.-= Brooke´s last blog ..September 10, 2009 =-.
Happy b-day lil’ sis! You know, you guys look just alike!
We do, kinda. She’s skinnier. (Whore.)
.-= MJ´s last blog ..Changing seasons =-.
I can relate. It’ s weirdly satisfying, esp. when it goes on the mirror like that. A straight pin can work wonders as, well. Just sayin’. Less scarring and nail gouges that way. Clear the path ya know?
I mean, um, I’ve never done that before… wait, shit.
I heard the straight pin thing before! Next time…
.-= Wendy´s last blog ..Elevator Go Up, Elevator Go Down =-.
Belated Happy Birthday, Lilu’s sis! You have the best big sis
.-= Ela´s last blog ..Three Little Piggies =-.
Unsay gift nimo sa imoha igsuon?
.-= arnold´s last blog ..Kawasan Falls =-.
Happy birthday LiLu’s little sister! I want to bang you!
.-= Jill Pilgrim´s last blog ..Things I Have Actually Said To People In Real Life. Out Loud. Like They Heard Me When I Said These Things. =-.
Hair is definitely a bit 1994 Rachel From Friends… but it’s… cute in its own way.
Sister’s v. cute by the way.
If she’s into disgusting bodily fluids as much as you are, give her my email address.
Insert male-oriented joke about your sister.
I could just go ahead and make one, for some reason I was left out on the warning…
I know the iphone has a phone on it. Does the ipod touch have a phone too?
________________
[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yDV3nIujGk]unlock iphone 3gs[/url]
That’s messed UP.
It shall be remedied shortly.
.-= Jaime´s last blog ..“What If?” Wednesday {NaBloPoMo 9} =-.
Bad-ass
Duh.
Oh you have to steal her unicorn. That is your job as big sister. Can’t wait for the pics of your unicorn joyrides!
I will MS Paint it if I have to.
.-= hiphophippie.com´s last blog ..Update Your Prostate =-.
Speaking as a younger sibling: we see what you put the parents through and figure they can’t handle another one.
Love
The Good Child
Oh, SNAP.
.-= Soda & Candy´s last blog ..Make sense? Wanna know what you’re playing for? =-.
you have a brother… i can’t believe you’e been holding out on us!!
.-= Maxie´s last blog ..Would Ya Rather Wednesday =-.
Floreta’s awesome blog.
Crap I thought it was #1!
Eh, either way. Potato, potah-to.
I would hope not. We are hot.
Truth.
.-= LivingWicked´s last blog ..Complimentary Candy & Opinions = to Aholes, Etc. =-.
Damn, I’m a bit gutted, there was me thinking I had been a bit clever and created a new word. I should have checked the Urban Dictionary…..
.-= BlackLOG´s last blog ..V2009 – Day Two =-.
Haha! Never underestimate the power of UD…
Duh. I commented on the wrong post. God I’m useless. Hah!
.-= Wendy´s last blog ..Elevator Go Up, Elevator Go Down =-.
I still knew what you meant
Well, I’m still waiting for them to send me the discs! They obviously don’t understand how badly I need a Charlie fix.