Hey, you! Are you near Beantown? (And by near, I mean within 8 hours driving distance… don’t even front like we ain’t worth it.)
Come grab a drink with me(!), Julie, Pilgrim Jill, Hannah, Hope, Julie Q, Susan, Emrlds, brookem, Kristen, and Very Real Jesus tonight! Just shoot me an email at heylivitluvit at gmail dot com, or twatter at me to find out where.
‘Twat?
Snarf.
I am moistinthepants already, just thinking about it…
Now on with the show! (Read all the past Shizzes here.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As I’ve been without a debit card recently, I recently paid B back for half of our new apartment’s security deposit with a stack of crisp twenty spots. Which he left next to the couch, and so they inevitably became Murray’s newest plaything…
Me: What are you doing, Murray? Gonna go buy some new nuts?
B: Don’t talk about his nuts yet!! It’s too soon!
This isn’t so surprising, as we’ve already established B has an illogical degree of concern for the well being of Murray’s balls-that-are-no-longer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is sort of embarrassing, but, um… I kind of enjoy the show 2 1/2 Men. I’m sorry… it’s funny!!! Also, despite being a total d-bag, Charlie Sheen is totally bangable. And that kid is adorbs. Anyhoo, B feels differently. STRONGLY. And never misses an opportunity to remind me of it.
Me: I’m going to get you 2 1/2 Men on DVD for your birthday.
B: At least now we know how this relationship is going to end.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our cats are weird. No one denies this. After all, they fart down my throat while I’m sleeping, insist on pooping with me, and turn B’s own pee on him. Nevertheless, I still find this odd…
B: Um, Axe Murderer‘s purr sounds like a wet fart sputtering through her noise.
Me: I concur.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Also? We also say “I concur” after basically every ridiculous opinion stated. WITH FERVOR. Example:
B: I am the greatest frozen-pizza-seasoner IN THE WORLD. Do you concur!?!
Me: (In a weirdly sexual manner, cause damn, pizza is HOT. See what I did there? Shutting up now…) Oh, I concur!!! Rawwwr.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Also? I got you this. It’s B’s version of “Tiger Hands,” aka FULL OF WIN. Go check out all the Tiger Week (fuck sharks!) entries at Maxie and Jenn’s places!
Happy weekend, bishes! If you’re in Bahstun, come say hi…
P.S. Whether you love or hate TMI Thursdays, I think we’ll all find this editorial piece by the Martini Queen pretty hilarious…
{ 1 trackback }
{ 94 comments }
HA!!! Pure hilarious!!!!!
Lol, I also love how freaked out boys can get about boy cats and dogs being neutered!!
Catherine´s last blog ..She’s just some girl who claims that I am the One
so one of my favorite lines from the kid on 2 1/2 men…
Q: So, if a woman with big boobs works at Hooters, where does a women with one leg work?
A: IHOP.
As you can see, I AM a TV Pimp…check my latest blog post. So totally related.
Skippy´s last blog ..Friday Clip O’ Laughter
How do you season frozen pizza? Doesn’t it come that way? Unless it’s with ground up cat testes.
Is it ground up cat testes?
Mike´s last blog ..Buildup
Just so you know, you might want to plan for the traffic in Boston this weekend.
Tom Brady played in last night’s game.
So I’m assuming they’re already lining the streets with the duck boats for the Superbowl parade.
By the way…
Can’t make it..but I’m only a half hour away.
DRINK FOR ME, WOMAN!! OLLY OLLY OXEN FREE!!
moooooog35´s last blog ..F.U. Day – Lazy Fuck Edition
The 2 1/2 Men convo was definitely my fave this week! Thanks, as ever, for making me smile. Cos, after all, the fact it is FRIDAY, isn’t enough.
Now go change your underwear!
Paula´s last blog ..IT’S CRAP LIKE THIS THAT MAKES ME AVOID THE "SELF-HELP" SECTION . . .
I guess you have to be a regular reader to really know whats going on in this blog
Too far for me to drink and then drive all night to get home… But thanks anywho!
2 1/2 Men is hilarious. I wrote this really sarcastic post about it once, and then realised that I actually love it. That kid slays me!
Racquel Valencia´s last blog ..PSST
See you tonight!!! (I just squealed a little.)
Hannah´s last blog ..In my secret life.*
My husband is sure our cat Alice is a jerk because he A) had undescended testicles at birth that caused us to think he was a girl and B) I bring up said undescended testicles whenever someone asks about his name.
Yeah. Because a cat that eats bugs is that smart.
no…. NO Lilu!!!! you cant actually like 2 1/2 men…. ??
*shakes head in disappointment*
Mich´s last blog ..What to do, what to do…?
Haha I love B’s response to the 2 1/2 men statement.
I just spit blueberry pop-tart all over my computer laughing! Yes I am 10!
My FIL used to watch 2 1/2 Men EVERY DAY instead of working. I’ve (unfortunately) seen every episode. Sometimes, though, I actually enjoy it!
casey´s last blog ..I Have Coined a New Term
see you TONIGHT!!!!!
brookem´s last blog ..can’t get enough of you baby
I most definitely concur.
Badass Geek´s last blog ..In Which I Learn The Hard Way
2 1/2 men is funny! i will totally back you up on that!
(ps sorry if this posted twice i dont think it went through the first time)
RachelSmiles´s last blog ..thursdays have meaning again!
What a great retort by B on the 2 1/2 men statement.
On a side not, as a fellow New Englander, I don’t know if I can continue reading this blog unless you are representing Red Sox Nation in DC. just kidding…actually, I’m not.
timoteo´s last blog ..What’s a Yackmin?
I’ve so missed these installments.
Say hi to Boston for me!
Marie´s last blog ..Back
OH, 2.5 men…I’ll never understand why it elicits such visceral reactions from some people. It’s totally hilarious. I’m a fan. Or at least, I was when I had cable before I got too cheap.
Also, who wants a normal cat? They’re only fun when they’re weird and full of mischief.
Vie´s last blog ..Mono blows, Moms are awesome, and K St is funny sometimes
LOL! So much 2 1/2 Men hatred!
Britt´s last blog ..Flashback Friday: I Don’t Think Cousins Usually Feel Each Other Up…
Dang, I wish I was somewhere near!
Miss Rosa´s last blog ..Cocoa-Loco
These never, ever stop being funny.
deutlich´s last blog ..Reflection
“At least now we know how this relationship is going to end.”
Oh, that B. Love yer guts, both of you. Have a great time in Boston…
next to TMIT, the shiz your boyfriend says is MY FAV!!!!
After I sent our rabbit to get his balls chopped (on Easter weekend – i thought it would be a funny correlation – my hubs did. not.) everything crazy that our rabbit does since has been because he no longer has balls.
redic.
Lauren´s last blog ..days of grace ~ fifty
2 and 1/2 men rocks. M and I love that show! You and B are so funny…wish I could come meet up for drinks with you ‘twats’…that kind of reminds me of a word M doesn’t like me to say…starts with a P…and ends with a ussy…
Happy Friday gorgeous!
BrownGirl´s last blog ..It’s his party…
Aww, I wish I was in town tonight! I live near Boston, but am headed to CT today. Come back soon!
kim´s last blog ..song shuffle
at least we know how this will end! HASD;FJSNADJFKNSADJKFSNDFJKNSDFJ (sounds of me laughing hysterically). I love these posts so dearly.
Kim´s last blog ..Open Letters Friday, Volume I
But I love sharks. Can’t I love both?
Jaime | Fast Times´s last blog ..I LOVE…Fridays!
I need to know. Have you given the kitties catnip yet? Back in the olden days, when me and the hubs were young and had two kitties and were living in sin and stuff, we’d ‘nip up our cats for entertainment. The fights were EPIC.
Kris´s last blog ..In Which I Prove that, Yes, I Am A Human FAIL…..
I think you guys need your own reality show, you’re just that entertaining
my guy is still mourning the removal of our boy-puppy’s nuts, 4 months after the surgery.
which is bullshit because there was no mourning period for our girl-puppy’s womb and her surgery was WAY more intense than boy-puppy’s (THEY CUT HER OPEN! ALL THE WAY OPEN! I cried.)
hillary´s last blog ..It’s The Eye Of The Tiger It’s The Thrill Of The Fight Risin’ Up To The Challenge Of Our Rival
The hilarity of the editorial? I concur.
I love the conversations you two have.
Hey, you’ve got a great blog – just thought I’d leave you a comment to let you know. Thanks so much for sharing it !
Elise´s last blog ..Elisa Badenes : From Student to Star
The kitten ball thing cracked me up—when my sister and her husband got their cat neutered they asked the vet if they could have the balls—in a jar.
Hotch Potchery´s last blog ..when in doubt, FLUFFERNUT
aaah! kittens are not for eating!
in conclusion, i am vurrah jealous of baaahston happy hour. vurrah.
mylittlebecky´s last blog .."I’ve never had a threesome" (tmit) by chiefee
Oh come on, tell B 2 and a half man isnt so bad.
Butttt I feel strongly too that Charlie Sheen isnt so hot.
AHAHA.
I used to be concerned about my dogs surgically-removed balls, and how it would affect him, but he seems to still find the motivation to hump pillows, so I say, good for him.
I concur this post was hilarious.
Andy´s last blog ..To discuss a Friday fun: Dogs in silly costumes makes for fun animal abuse
Are you seriously in Boston tonight? I used to live in cambridge and now I am only an hour away. Shit.
To bad I have to be out the door by 6am tomorrow and spent all day in the hot freaking sun…a hangover would be no good.
Alina´s last blog ..Donation to High Hopes!
Oh man, 2 1/2 Men is at times the bane of my existence. It’s easily the boyfriend’s favorite show and I think that the fact that Charlie Sheen is kind of bangable is the ONLY reason I can continue to watch that thing.
And in the realm of “things my boyfriend says…” mine told me last night that his idea of lingerie is his Kansas tee. S-EX-Y I tell ya.
Cass´s last blog ..I love…
I love love the cat shares… you and ‘B’ are awesomely funny!
Wishing you a great weekend!!
thats it. im going to find out where you are, talk to some people and possibly you’ll see me tonite. =) email coming your wayyy!
Nickie.´s last blog ..Things I Really Freakin Want!
TWO AND A HALF MEN??!?!?!?!
WHY????????
WHY??????? Did you bump your head?
I drew you. It’s up. Don’t hurt me.
Vegetable Assassin´s last blog ..Se7en
When the heck did Murray get so big? Too bad chopping off their balls doesn’t keep them small forever!
Nikki´s last blog ..Flashback Friday: There’s no place like home
A) I HATE that show as well. I also think Charlie Sheen is really fug, so yeah. I’m with B on that one.
B) There are a ton of food bloggers in Boston this weekend for this: http://healthylivingsummit.com/
So if you see a gaggle of girls at restaurants taking pics of their food and eating, like, carrots….run. RUN FAST!
Kristin´s last blog ..John Denver, Monster Mix & Stank: A Wild West Relay Race Report, Part II
i say i concur too, but with not nearly as much fervor. i should go work on that.
and um have fun with those beantown bloggers tonight! don’t get too crazy…oh wait, do the opposite of that.
katelin´s last blog ..Awesome is as Awesome does.
I am so way overly excited about tonight. Its very scary.
Jill Pilgrim´s last blog ..Sir, Please Don’t Put That In My Bum
I concur that you are both hilarious.
When are you gonna do a happy hour in So Cal? Hmmm?
Gabby´s last blog ..weekend (p)review
Jake: Wendy Cho dumped me, all right?!
Charlie: Sorry, Dude. Why?
Jake: She said she didn’t want a mixed relationship.
Charlie: Chinese/American?
Jake: No. Gifted/Remedial.
Have a fantastic time in Boston!
LA Cochran´s last blog .."Feed me!" –Little Shop of Horrors
Why would you apologize for liking 2 1/2 Men? It’s a freaking funny show. I like The Big Bang Theory too.
Gilahi´s last blog ..Geek Humor
Poor Murray’s balls..B must be having sympathy pains for him!
Lil’ Woman´s last blog ..Blizzard
I found this post to be very amusing, and I concur with myself on my opinion.
WendyB´s last blog ..The Post Without Any Fireman Photos
What the hell is going on?!?! Your blog isn’t updating in my Reader! I thought you were on bloggy vacation, so I’m so glad you left a comment on mine. I will re-add yours because I’ve missed you!
Kristina P.´s last blog ..Monday Moaning
Two and a half men is genius. I watch it on the daily.
Where in Boston you gonna be at? I’ll drop in and take a shot with you ladies.
CONCUR, DAMNIT!
Rebel Mel´s last blog ..Freebie Fridays: Coffee, Hair Care Products,
L-O-L You bf totally ROCKS
Girlonajourney´s last blog ..List your criteria for a GREAT day!
2 1/2 Men? 2 1/2 Men??? You do understand that even in (semi) anonymous blogs, there are some things that we just don’t admit to, right?
Brilliant comeback by B, though. Tell him I concur.
Riff Dog´s last blog ..Didja Miss Me?
but 2 1/2 men IS funny and that kid IS adorable (plus hilarious!)
the girl in stiletto´s last blog ...musing, hmm amusing.
Yah, men hate when their male pets get snipped. Also, in that picture, he certainly looks scary enough to do it the neutering with his teeth.
Lisa´s last blog ..Week 40 birthday tummy
uh.your friggen boyfriend is hilarious…i’m just sayin stuff you already know…that dry humor is my FAVORITE!
brooke´s last blog ..basically you should know…
“purr sounds like a wet fart sputtering through her noise.” CLASSIC!
hiphophippie.com´s last blog ..Friday Cocktail – The NeNe
lmfao and now i want pizza. shit. lol
Cass´s last blog ..Friday’s “Doooo whaaat?” Dear So and So…
You can’t get that DVD. I don’t want your relationship to end. Ever. This must go on FOREVA! No?
I concur.
Ela´s last blog ..Site Launch
2 1/2 Men is the funniest damn show on TV! I rarely watch TV but I WILL take time to sit and watch an episode of 2 1/2 men even if I’ve seen a bazillion times already! Have an awesome weekend! Enjoy a few drinks on me! My baby crocodile is teething -with 3 chopers screaming- and I live like a stupid 20 hour drive from you! HOLLA -
I must admit, I have occassionally watched an episode of 2 1/2 men. But seriously only because Charlie Sheen is a hottie. Even if he is a hooker lovin’ whore. Would you watch that show if it was only the other guy and the kid? I didn’t think so.
Kimberly´s last blog ..Aloha Friday – Mad Men
I’m a dorK (yes, with a capital K). I ment “Enjoy a few drink FOR me” Not on me… what can I say… I’m sleep deprived….
Well I’m an 8 hour flight away, rather than an 8 hour drive away..is that close enough to drunk witchyoo tonite?
Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog ..How Do You Let Go of Your Children?
Just so you know, blog peeps are the only reason I wish I lived on the East Coast. I’m totally jealous of everyone who gets to hang out with you IRL. Have a fun weekend at the bahs in Bahston.
I am so glad I’m not the only one who still finds charlie bangable….I am ashamed that I too enjoy that show!
these are my fav posts evaaa!
hanako66´s last blog ..stay classy San Diego
Ha! We say “I concur” all the time now, after we saw Catch Me If You Can years ago in the theater. Have you seen that?
kilax´s last blog ..Marathon Training Week 8
HYSTERICAL.
I totally wish I was in my home city so I could come with you guys … but alas, I’m on the other coast at WORK. Bah.
Siovhan´s last blog ..she totally pimped my blog.
I can’t even FUNCTION I AM SO JEALOUS!!!!!! I’m going to twit/gchat/attack your ass right now. RAWR.
Also, I love you.
Elizabeth Marie´s last blog ..Slow Dancing in a Burning Room
Okay, I heart these posts!
Secondly…..when we were cat shopping, I told the hubster that I had rules when getting one. No balls, no claws, box trained. I believe he found it less painful knowing up-front that our boy wouldn’t have balls rather than US being responsible for making the decision to take them away. SO, I guess he’s cool knowing the “after G,” rather than the “before G.” And by G, I mean the cat’s name.
Have a damn awesome time in Boston!
Wendy´s last blog ..Day One….Complete
Hope you have an amazing night out … wish I lived closer, haha. And dang, your boyfriend is a genius and says some awesome things! Me and my boy’s thing is “Aham” rather than “I concur”, it’s such a weird noise. And yeah, my dog got his nuts taken off about a year ago and my boyfriend was like, “now he’ll never know what … ‘the pleasure’ … is like”; guys and their weird minds!
Have a great weekend
Nikolett´s last blog ..those summerific days
Does B cringe at the word “vasectomy”, too?
And the bit about Axe Murderer’s purr? LOVE IT!
MsDarkstar´s last blog ..F-word Friday
You and B are hilarious. And your cats. hahahahhaha
Constructive Attitude´s last blog ..Why are you kissing the floor?
btw, you’re a runner up in the belt giveaway, you get chocolate! Contact me w/mailing info so I can send it out: spleeness@yahoo.com. mwah!
spleeness´s last blog ..winner of belt giveaway!
I’m totally going to use “I concur” from now on.
Katy´s last blog ..9 experiences from 9 hours with 19 children
I think I really need a cat to entertain me these days.
nashe´s last blog ..Nothing New
I should’ve, would’ve, could’ve gone to BOSTON! *low pitched keening wail*
You can never go wrong with a “too soon?” joke. I love inappropriate humor. And you might actually make me like kittens. Still. They’re growing on me.
Colby ´s last blog ..The one where my multiple personality disorder takes over
just love you guys! you make my day full of smiles!
caroline´s last blog ..HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SON
If I was a cat, and found a pile of twenties, I would wee on them. Not out of spite, just an act of feline sneakiness.
“B: Don’t talk about his nuts yet!! It’s too soon!”
LOL. So funny! At least he cares, right?
HannahBlue´s last blog ..Some inner peace at a Buddhist Temple
You two are hilarious!! lol
Tee aka The Diva’s Thoughts´s last blog ..Weekend Recap
Your relationship with B needs to be a sitcom.
Also I’m glad to see that people from Worcester like to pay their bills with fat stacks- reminds me of a story I have from FSC about a kid who was counting his money in my dorm….
Patrick´s last blog ..The Single Life: Flowchart To My Heart
I saw a siamese yesterday at the pet store, he had BLACK BALLS! Funnier yet, is i have a siamese/burmese mix, and she has a black triangle in her hoo ha area. Even the funniest, my LAST siamese mix did too.
i wonder if all of them do? like if its their “points” or something, includes their genitalia.
is it weird im talking about that?
I think it is.
fizzgig´s last blog ..Cha Cha
Men men men men manly men men men, men men men men manly men men men *Shoots Charlie Sheen in the face* Meeeeennnnnnnn
Ooohhh hoooowoo-oooohh
Steam Me up, Kid´s last blog ..Pee, Queens, Pedophilia, Anus, and Pretty Birds. Then I blaspheme a little. The end.
I LOVE Two and a Half Men. It’s like watching Charlie Sheen REALITY T.V. He loves hookers and blow on the show AND in real life!
twinkie´s last blog ..EFF You California Politicians
Bet that was one helluva crazy time! I assume we’ll be getting a full report from both you and Jill????
The two of you are your own sitcom…you know, like 2-1/2 men…which I LOVE…
Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)´s last blog ..Sassy Homemade Wine – The Equipment
You two are adorbs! And YOU are the only person I know that ALSO uses the word ADORBS! And had I read this on the day it was posted, I MAY have taken that 8 hour ride!
meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Meleah’s Week In Review
Don’t be ashamed… I love 2 1/2 men. I laugh out loud while watching that show!!!
Kristen Sara´s last blog ..Pass the Sniff Test
2 1/2 Men.
Clearly your man is a keepah.
James´s last blog ..Tick Tock Tick Tock
What’s embarrassing about enjoying Two and a Half Men? I love it. For real.
MinD´s last blog ..Aunt MinD.
Um, awesome!!!
And thanks, but nothing is as funny as the Hitler Ass story.
<3 ~Jenn (Ex Hot Girl)
Comments on this entry are closed.