To the man who clearly had never used a self check out line in a grocery store before and whom I watched attempt to pay for ONE WATERMELON for the Twenty. Freaking. Minutes…
I believe with all my heart that you should be sterilized.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To the woman who obviously did not need the wheelchair she was in but threw herself in B’s and my path yesterday and demanded some of our Negro Modelo…
Don’t think that I won’t cut you if you lay a finger on my beer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To my new temp, who told me all about his adoration for wine country, his refusal to live anywhere except 17th and R in Dupont, and his childhood best friend who is the J.D. to his Turk…
They’re gay, and so are you. You can stop talking about your “girlfriend” now. I know a really cute guy I could be setting you up with…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To the 4+ restaurants in my new neighborhood who are advertising half-priced burger Happy Hours…
Are you trying to kill me? Everyone knows cheese ‘n cow is my kryptonite.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To my shins, who are vehemently protesting my decision to walk 2 miles to and from work, as well as working out on lunch breaks…
Don’t you know we have a lot of cheeseburgers to work off?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To my dear friend Elizabeth Marie, or as I like to call her, “Shankapotamus”, and whose post today is revoltingly sweet and almost made a little onion water fall out of my eye…
Why didn’t you use my Glamour Shot?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Xoxo,
LiLu
P.S. RIP, Teddy. As a Masshole, I will always think of you fondly.
{ 101 comments }
To LiLu, who never fails to give me a reason to be happy, ridiculous and a little crazy…
You rock my socks off.
<3
I hope they’re argyle.
.-= PQ´s last blog ..24 Hours of Booty: Please Read =-.
Don’t fuck with fat wheelchair beer ladies. They have a mean left hook. Trust me on that one.
She’s not fat… but she does look scrappy. Maybe I’ll cross the street next time.
.-= Mike´s last blog ..Yup, I’m Neglecting. =-.
Doesn’t it suck how much you have to workout to burn the shit you eat?
Watch out the lady could have ran you over with her wheelchair…
I love the picture you look like you are doing the Pee-Wee Herman dance…lol
“LOOK like”? Obviously I am!
In college I suffered every happy hour on whether or not to buy the half-priced cheeseburger as I walked back to my apartment. I literally stopped in front of the pub, paced around the entrance, and tried to rationalize getting one. I failed more often than not to just walk away.
Me too. But in college, I had my college metabolism…
.-= timoteo´s last blog ..I’ll have a Hoodsie and two beers =-.
I’m torn: do I open a good, funky, free Wi-Fi, cheap coffee, delicious baked goods and bites, live music cafe/coffee house/lounge? Or do I open a place that actually offers happy hour half-price burgers any day of the week? Because Boston proper has neither such place. And it’s starting to piss me off.
That makes it official. DC is now my HOME.
.-= Hannah´s last blog ..What’s in your survival guide? =-.
are you trying to make me hate you with all this walking/working out? come on.
I just wanna look pretty for you, baby! Don’t hit me…
.-= Maxie´s last blog ..Would You Rather Wednesday =-.
self check out lanes are my worst fear, they stress me out like crazy and i feel mildly retarded when i use them.
Sure, sometimes you can’t find the “garlic” picture for a minute. But TWENTY?!?
.-= RachelSmiles´s last blog ..skincare, anyone? =-.
In my defense, the watermelon DOES look like it has scan bars all over the fucking thing.
Speshul. So very, very speshul.
.-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Summer Reruns – My Foray Into the Porn Industry =-.
i love the self-checkout line, but it attracts absolute morons. i always think it would be easier to just steal rather than wait in line, but then i realize jail time might balance that out.
I KNOW. It is so tempting, though… no one would notice if I just threw that tiny piece of ginger in the bag…
.-= f.B´s last blog ..services no longer needed =-.
Aww, Teddy, we will miss you so.
He was a great man. Both in heart and in girth.
.-= Lemmonex´s last blog ..A Moment =-.
Awww LiLu, you’re a godsent
You always crack me up .. although there’s a lot of truth to what you posted ! Slow, dumb ppl should be sterilized, lol. Uhm, or maybe not ‘cuz that might include me at times.
Anyhow, looove the glamour shot ! Lizzy should’ve posted it
Maybe she will when she gets up…
.-= Aritza, goddess of ..´s last blog ..Goddess of .. Don’t wanna close my eyes, Don’t wanna fall asleep ! =-.
To my knee, which is still oozing. Fuck you.
To LiLu, who always brightens my day. Love!
Awww. You are my favorite little stalker.
.-= shine´s last blog ..In which I ramble on about relationships and you skim or skip this one. =-.
To Lilu: Who never fails to put a smile on my face, who never fails to comment back, to one of my FAV bloggers…
..thank you
Xoxoxoxo!!!
.-= Taylor´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Dollar Bird Edition =-.
Ok the self check out at the grocery store is hard. I always wait in the really long line line with like 2 items instead of using self check out. I like my grocery store, I don’t need them seeing me make a fool of myself.
Eh. I look like a fool either way. Might as well check out faster.
.-= lbluca77´s last blog ..What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. That is until you get a “cold sore” =-.
LOVED these. Especially the note to your shins. I think pizza is my personal kryptonite. To each their own!
Mmmmmmmmm. Pizza. My mistress…
.-= Kim´s last blog ..All Moms Worry But Only Bonnie Raitt Sings The Blues =-.
you walk two miles to work AND work out? good lord woman. GOOD LORD!
It’s only like 45 minutes. Such is my hatred of being dependent on public transportation…
.-= alexa – cleveland’s a plum´s last blog ..luckily, i can’t annoy myself =-.
OOOhhhhh….happy hour/cheeseburgers. It’s only 7:30 AM where I’m at, but you totally just caused a craving. Damn…
I would eat a cheeseburger ANY TIME OF DAY.
Crap. Now I want one for lunch.
.-= Herding Cats´s last blog ..The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly =-.
nice glamour shot, very nice.
All klass, baby.
.-= Ashley´s last blog ..Way Back WhensDay =-.
Sometimes I don’t use the self check out, precisely because I’m afraid of looking like that guy.
Also, that’s one hell of a glamour shot. Love it.
NO ONE could be worse than that guy. A 5 year old would have figured it out.
.-= Liebchen´s last blog ..I fought the law and the law…LOST =-.
A bar near my house used to have Happy Hours with 10 cent wings. That was my weakness… Sadly, that bar has closed…. (you can’t see it but I have my sad face on)
Oooo, that would be B’s weakness. I bet we have one of those too…
If it was me, that 2 mile thing would have lasted one. day.
It’s a nice walk, actually. My gluts thank me.
.-= A Super Girl´s last blog ..Just because I can =-.
always make me laugh!!
Thank you! <3
Aww. Thank YOU, hon!
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..oh goodness =-.
When people are waiting behind me in the self checkout, and seem to be a tad anxious, I always try and scan my face a few times.
That backs them off a yard or two…
You should try your ass sometime.
.-= Skylers Dad´s last blog ..Tales from the Pacific Northwest part 3 =-.
I try to walk to work each day from Union Station, but it’s effing hot in D.C. in August. And humid. Yesterday I straightened my hair, but you wouldn’t know it by the time I drug my ass up the stairs to my office.
I know. Thank goodness I’ve gone curly lately.
.-= MJ´s last blog ..Making a difference =-.
Just stumbled across your blog and loved it! I love Scrubs. Hilarious show. Just started following and can’t wait to read more of your adventures!
Aw, thanks love! I like you already.
.-= meg´s last blog ..Gasp! No Backstreet Boys?! What Cool People Are On Notebooks And School Folders This Year? =-.
oh i like that little blue dress in your glamour shot by a lot.
teddy… it’s all over the news here. i’m sure EVERYwhere, but especially in mass. he may have had some bad points about him, but he did a lot of good for MA, that’s for sure.
He truly will be missed.
Are you driving a miniature, invisible car? Or passing gas?
Are you telling me there are invisible cars you can power with farts?? Because I would be ALL OVER THAT.
.-= LA Cochran´s last blog ..“‘Cause I don’t believe you” –Crack the Sky =-.
To my shithole internet service at home:
Thank you for being so god damn slow that I gave up on trying to order pizza hut online. You are helping my diet. But my taste buds hate you. They were REALLY looking forward to that P’zone. So screw off.
I have a love hate relationship w/ Qwest.
But I just love you darlin!
xoxo
I don’t know what Qwest is, but I will totally beat them up for you. xo
.-= Kellie´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
You always find the funniest freaking videos!
My shins hate me too.
Apparently it helps if you do this thing called “stretching”, but I’m far too lazy for that. Isn’t it enough that I’m working out?!
.-= spleeness´s last blog ..WTF Wednesday: man glued to public toilet seat and more =-.
Here’s why I hate self check out:
“Please scan your first item…..item not read, please scan your first item….item not read, please scan your first item….”
F*$$%%**$%%@! I scanned it ten times already you mothereffer!!!
Also, Teddy will be missed.
I know, that’s the worst. But trust me, this guy was not a victim of the machine… he was just a Grade A MORON.
.-= Marie´s last blog ..Red Onion, Red Apple =-.
i want that dress. you’re very glamourous.
I got klass out the ears, baby.
.-= cavy´s last blog ..on surprises. =-.
If that’s your glamour shot, where’s your fur shawl? Down below?
HAHA. I hope you meant that the way it sounded…
.-= Nikki´s last blog ..Kate Spade Sample Sale =-.
Please don’t hate me. I hate scrubs.
However, I do love you and your shex-appeal.
I forgive you because you said shex. But also? SACRILEGE.
.-= Katie´s last blog ..Painting =-.
I have to know, under what circumstance would wheelchair lady think she could have some of your Modelo? (which is one of my favorite beers, BTW, it’s like the Corona that doesn’t get peed in, lol kidding) Was she homeless?
Also, in your glamour shot, that’s really a large vodka rocks with a straw instead of water, right? Am I right?
What is this “water” you speak of?
.-= eric´s last blog ..Sigillum Salomonis (Nodo di Salomone) =-.
ugh, i was that person at the self checkout the other dy. my yogurt would not scan! failure.
See, that’s not your fault, though. This guy was just an idiot.
.-= emrlds´s last blog ..oh hey, vacation =-.
It amazes me that people can function in society but cannot operate a self service scanner at the grocery store.
It was so amazing I watched the whole damn thing.
.-= verybadcat´s last blog ..Loose Ends =-.
I could be skinny as a rail other than my drinking habit which brings in way more calories than the amount of walking I can do in one day.
Amen to that. Sigh.
.-= The Peach Tart´s last blog ..The Peach Tart Has Mixed Feelings About Pretzel Dude =-.
Best picture ever! Also, thanks for the Scrubs video. Guy Love makes me happy.
Apparently there’s a video of them doing it live on a talk show or something… must find!
.-= Lindsay´s last blog ..Been Through the Desert on a Horse with No Name =-.
Why do the ones that don’t know how to use the self-scanner ALWAYS have produce? Produce is the advanced level of self-check out. You shouldn’t be allowed to try and ring up a watermelon until you have mastered ringing up a can of fruit salad.
Hahahaha! Preach! I love it.
.-= Dani´s last blog ..If we had ended up in the wrong place, at least we could have mourned the loss of astroland… =-.
I have a few self imposed rules, and one of them is: If it doesn’t have a bar code on it, keep your ass out of the self serve check-out…
I think that’s fair. I’m going to turn it into a button and stab that guy with it.
The line about your poor temp cracked me up.
Teddy will be missed for sure. Whatever personal foibles he may have had, he was certainly a champion for justice and equality in his professional life. RIP.
Agreed. RIP, Ted.
.-= Wendy´s last blog ..Ostentatious Spazziosity. But I’ll take it. =-.
Did you make that dress out of a spare Snuggie? You know, kinda like Snuggie shorts, just cut the sleeves off…Kidding, it looks very nice. For the stragglers at the self-checkout, I always like to heckle. Doesn’t speed them up, just makes the wait time more enjoyable.
Oooo, good idea. It’s not like I didn’t have anything to throw, either… next time, I’ll make it rain garlic until he moves.
.-= Foggy Dew´s last blog ..Don’t give a rat’s ass =-.
I didn’t get a glamor shot post either, WTF is up with that? I think it’s because I’m brown. What’s your excuse?
She fixed mine. So there!!!
.-= BrownGirl´s last blog ..Brownie Needs A New Bag =-.
Sheer Awesomess in its Awesomenisity was this post. “Don’t think that I won’t cut you if you lay a finger on my beer.” How many times in my lifetime have I uttered this line? The answer is too many to count my friend, too many to count.
You rock.
Awww. No, YOU rock!!
Hahahaha, that’s hilarious, I love your picture. And do the guy who couldn’t figure out how to pay for a watermelon…well…I hope to never get stuck behind any of his offspring in the checkout line! (better he doesn’t have any like you said…but you know…)
Seriously, if I had had a pair of scissors…
.-= D.S.´s last blog ..Beauty Box Giveaway! =-.
That picture is smokin’.
I can smell your sarcasm, sir.
.-= Badass Geek´s last blog ..In Which I Am In Exile =-.
half-priced burgers?
How come we don’t have such stuff over here?! grrrar.
It is heaven, even if it is horrible for me.
.-= nashe´s last blog ..It’s Worse Than Pedra Branca =-.
You suck. You mention cheeseburgers and I’m HUNGRY…now, I have to get off my lazy ass and cook one.
Thanks…
you know I don’t think you suck – I was trying out the hate mail thing you wanted so badly and I can’t do it.
I know. I just ate a stupid Lean Cuisine but all I can think about is cheesy burgery goodness.
.-= littlemsblogger´s last blog ..Rant and Rave Wednesday =-.
Lovely glamour shot, darling…
…
Why, thank you, my dear.
.-= Sebastian´s last blog ..The danger of knowing too much =-.
Your Glamour Shot is very glamorous. But, thanks a lot, now I want a cheeseburger. AHHHHH!
I think everyone reading this post wants one. Even the vegans. THAT’S how good I am.
.-= Brooke´s last blog ..August 26, 2009 =-.
OMG I love JD and Turk. I wish I could work around a couple of them!!!!! And fierce pose, btw.
- a fellow masshole
I know. It’s almost enough to make you want to go to med school.
NOT.
.-= Julie Q´s last blog ..Forrest Chump? =-.
You have shown me new purpose in life. I must now hunt down all happy hours within walking distance.
I’ll just have to make sure to not get mugged again on the way home. I think consuming approx 8 less drinks in one night might do the trick
Shhhhhhhh. Don’t say such things. There’s got to be another way…
.-= Socks´s last blog ..Blueberry Scones and Lazy Sun…er Monday =-.
Negro Modelo? I will cut/shank/KILL a bitch if she got inbetween me and that jesus juice.
things have been…updated.
Hahaha YES!!!!!! FTW!!!
.-= Elizabeth Marie´s last blog ..There’s Some Ladies I’d Like You To Meet… =-.
About that watermelon guy. What about the crazy chick who watched for 20 minutes?
I have no tolerance for the incompetent dude. Unless he is pushing social security, he should know how to work a computer. That’s all a self-scan register is.
RIP Teddy. Maybe you’ll get the details from that night that you don’t remember driving your car into the water now.
I was stuck behind him! You would have watched, too. It was mesmerizing in a train wreck kinda way.
.-= Big Money Tony´s last blog ..Weekend Food Trip Around the World =-.
I admit it, I suck in the self check out. I’m there FOREVER, they hate me. Some inner computer evil jack ass sees me coming, and starts jamming the wrong buttons so that it takes me longer then usual self checker outers. So, I’m sorry, but yes, i am a wee bit retarded and probably know how that guy feels.
Nope. You are literate, and therefore, MILES ahead of that guy.
.-= hillbilyduhn´s last blog ..Black and White Painting =-.
there’s that sassy hellbeast i love and miss so much!!
<3
.-= GingerMandy´s last blog ..This is what happens when Batman texts Wolverine. =-.
oh and by the way — i’m so fucking good at self-checkout, i can do it in SPANISH. that’s right. i hit the spanish button, thought “oh shit this is gonna suck”, and was still SPEEDY Q up in there! you could only WISH you were behind this girl.
I’m kind of tempted to try it now. Is it worth possibly being “that girl”? I think yes.
.-= GingerMandy´s last blog ..This is what happens when Batman texts Wolverine. =-.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. enough said.
Ha!
.-= jackie´s last blog ..i feel like it should be a monday =-.
You crack me up girl!!! I love your humor, really could use it in Suburbia land on some days!
I almost lost it on the poor sweet young mom walking her kids and the dog to the bus stop yesterday, they did nothing but I had that ‘hate’ thing going on like yesterday’s post.
Embrace the hate. It is what makes us better than others.
What?
.-= Lucy´s last blog ..The Helicopters are out in Full Force! =-.
If you have cheese and cow wrapped in lettuce… it counteracts the kryptonite. Just saying.
Oh, agreed. A soft, squishy bun is equally vital.
.-= LivingWicked´s last blog ..Happy Weight =-.
um. ok. SO HAPPY I FOUND YOUR DAMN BLOG! I’ll be seeing you….like probably everyday….you and Pilgrim Congress…..you could start your own freakin’ comedy troupe!
Hi. I love you.
.-= thebeautyfile´s last blog ..Yooooohoooooo….Over Here!! =-.
OMG, I swear “Everyone knows cheese ‘n cow is my kryptonite” is going in my Facebook favourite quotes section. Awesome. Mine’s cheese ‘n pig.
Like a cheese dog? Can I have some chili with that? Nowwwwwww we’re talkin.
.-= emvandee´s last blog ..Spaghetti squash latkes. =-.
girl, i love you dearly, and i love your blog, but as someone with severe anxiety who frequently has meltdowns at the self-checkout, i ask you to extend an olive branch of understanding if we ever cross paths set a self checkout lane. but really, only because i bet i’m cuter and i drink more tequila than that other guy.
You had me at tequila, my love.
.-= kori´s last blog ..trashcan tuesdays (wednesday edition) =-.
Mmmmmmm cheeseburgers and happy hour sounds delicious! Love the Glamour Shot but your totally missing the tranny hooker makeup. Thats what makes it so glamourous. I’ll have to send you my old pics to show you how its done for realz.
BTW, I am totally considering emailing you my ridiculously gross TMIT because I would never post it on my blog, and it is way too long to put in a comment. I only told my BF and my hubs and they agreed that it is really a gross TMI story. They didn’t want to hear it again. I think it meets TMI standards, but I’m on the fence. Then again I wonder how many people randomly email their sick and embarrassing YM stories to you?
It’s posted! Thank you so much!
.-= Kimberly´s last blog ..Eden Fantasys $50 Gift Card Winner =-.
Shankapotamus made me laugh so hard I teared up a little. There may have been some pee. Now who can I use that on?
Hahaha. You’ve seen this, right?
.-= Captain Dumbass´s last blog ..A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away…. =-.
ooooooo….love the glamour shot
Thanks love!
.-= a!kO´s last blog ..Piece of the week: The Marriage of Figaro =-.
20 minutes to pay for one watermelon? Goodness me, I coulda sliced and served that baby in less time. Your kryptonite is tasteeeee. Love it.
I could have made a freaking martini out of it by then.
Mmmmmm. Martini.
.-= Ela´s last blog ..Mishaps: Beeps and Looks, and Third Time’s a Charm =-.
Oh god. I love it. There are many folks you want to be honest with but to do so would be considered bad.
Lovely sentiment about Ted. *sniff, sniff*
He was a great man, though flawed. But aren’t we all? I mean, I’ve never killed a chick, but I also haven’t changed the face of health care and civil rights over decades in our great nation.
.-= Alina Karle´s last blog ..Rest in Peace Ted Kennedy =-.
Have you joined the Cheese & Burger Society on Facebook?
My roommates constantly claim that all I eat are cheeseburgers, as if there’s something wrong with that.
I honestly wonder how long it would take me to get sick of them if that’s all I ate. But I don’t need the extra twenty pounds I’d gain trying to find out.
.-= BeckEye´s last blog ..We’re All Doomed. Doomed, I Say! DOOMED! =-.
I so love when bloggers single people out with their thoughts. It makes me giggle.
I often wish I could have a tape recorder in my head when I’m walking around. My inner voice is VICIOUS.
.-= MinD´s last blog ..Too close for comfort. =-.
To my boss who today asked if I needed anything to do while I was blog surfing, “Does it LOOK like I need something to do? Because I’m in the middle of a comment.”
*sidenote: I have a list of people I’d like you to not only sterilize.. but euthanize. Are you taking requests?
Dude, we should totally set up a renegade shop. We’d be like the Boondock Saints, but instead of drug dealers, go after morons! GENIUS.
.-= twinkie´s last blog ..It’s Vegas, Baby! =-.
To LiLu, who has a fabulous glamour shot — thanks for filling up my days with amazing blog entries!
I’ve seen so many people fail at those self-checkouts, it’s horrible. And I walked a ton yesterday too, but had bacon wraps to walk off … I shall have a cheeseburger in your honour tomorrow, though
What is this bacon wrap you speak of?? It sounds DELICIOUS. xoxo
.-= Nikolett´s last blog ..a celebration to remember
=-.
That was my husband that took 20 minutes to pay for a watermelon…how dare you talk about him…lol just kidding…some people should not breed…lol
That’s all I’m sayin.
.-= caroline´s last blog ..Quick updates =-.
You are so hilarious!
I saw Liz’s post and loved it– and your glamour shot, of course!!
Haha thanks, babe!
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Counting down the days!! =-.
Love your posts Lilu, and whenever I’m done reading and it comes time to comment I can’t figure out where to begin and all I’m left with is ‘That’s so funny!’…
But yes, that was hilarious and your glamour shot is very cute (Liz choose well!) and I had no idea Ted Kennedy had died…
Hope you’re having a great week!
Aww, you’re the best. And you too!
um that picture is pretty amazing like wo.
I was thinking of you. Can you tell?
.-= katelin´s last blog ..Why I couldn’t be a criminal. =-.
Great post! I love you and your shout out to Teddy!!
Right back atch. And Teddy.
.-= Jules´s last blog ..** Updated – Out of Tune Tuesday – The One Not for Claire, but for Breaking Up =-.
Stretch those shins! My god, I hear my sister shouting at me from field hockey days in HS! *cringe*
The Commonwealth of Massachusetts is in such a state of mourning! The last of Camelot is gone.
If any of your walking is uphill, count it twice!
Oh, the ones I got from field hockey were the WORST. And my whole walk home is uphill… I think I’ll count it three times. Ugh.
Forget sterilization, that guy should be shot.
I like where your head’s at, woman.
.-= Jill Pilgrim´s last blog ..Natural Disasters Are AWESOME =-.
I soooo agree with the sterilization of the watermelon wonder. And really, attempting to navigate the streets in an unnecessary wheelchair while under the influence never ends pretty!
She attacked B again last night, but in a sexual manner. I think we’re going to be walking on the other side of the street from now on.
.-= Jennifer – Somewhere In Between´s last blog ..Wedding Weekend Wardrobe =-.
To LiLu,
You crack my shit up every time.
Love,
RM
Mad love. babe.
.-= Regardez Moi´s last blog ..Contest! Without Prizes! =-.
Dupont Circle, who is he kidding? I don’t even live in DC and I know that.
Right?? I mean, there are definitely parts that aren’t… but 17th and R? Right in the thick of it.
.-= blueviolet´s last blog ..The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far – W/W Wednesday =-.
You would think after all of the years that self-checkout has been in place, people would know how to use it. It’s the most aggravating experience waiting for someone who can’t follow simple directions.
Seriously. There are PICTURES on it, for chrissakes. Big, enormous PICTURES.
.-= Angel´s last blog ..Last Teenage Summer =-.
I loathe the self-checkout. It’s always full of stupid people. haha
I made the mistake of using it again yesterday. I’m officially done.
.-= Shop Girl*´s last blog ..Using Cell Phones While Driving – Yay or Nay? =-.
LOL! You never cease to put a smile on my face and stir a laugh out of me. I love it. I was wondering about you the other day and then I recalled you writing about moving to a different place and so of course I found you once again. So now your back into my reader and I will get my daily smile/laugh once again. Seriously, you fricken crack me up! Thank you!
And I was thinking about how you are the age of my own grown children and what is so amazing about that is that you do remind me of them.They are amazing and crack me up too so there is nothing better then that…lol. I hope your mom knows what a great daughter she raised!
I sent this comment to her, so she definitely will. Thank you so much. I’m really glad you found me again. (Hug)
.-= Lori´s last blog ..I Write Because I Can =-.
I love that you mention most of the important things in life all in one cute post. (And of course I’m referring to beer, cow, cheese, and violent solutions to every day problems.)
HA! Right on, sister. Right on.
.-= justrun´s last blog ..Growing, new projects, and making peace with gas =-.
mmmmmmmmmmm…….. cheeseburgers.
I know. I KNOW.
I was that speshul person in the self-checkout line at Home Depot yesterday. I kept picking up the shopping bag, to fill up a second with my properly scanned items. It kept thinking I was trying to steal the bag without paying. Leave the bag there! I was a moron.
Okay. I may have done that. But I learned!
.-= Colby´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesdays: Have you met my avatar? Or my dog? I’ve been painting. That’s all I’ve got. =-.
Checkout guy: I’m not ready for that kind of technology either.
He can’t hear you. He’s too dumb.
.-= Angie´s last blog ..Project– Evil Kitty Tattoo =-.
I’m with the check out guy on this one, those machines are designed to destroy your soul. I always get caught in the “Wrong item in bag” loop.
Machine – “Unexpected item in bagging area!”
Me – “It’s the one I just scanned”
Machine – “Unexpected item in bagging area!”
Me – “It can’t be that unexpected you scanned it”
Machine – “Unexpected item in bagging area!”
Assistant – “Can I help you?”
Me – “Probably” I’m a bloke I don’t like assistance if I can help it
assistant – “I’ll just reset it for you”
Me – rather begrudgingly “Thanks”
Large crowd of onlookers - “Boo, we were just enjoying the confrontation”
I Scan next item
Machine – “Unexpected item in bagging area!”
Me – “for f**ks sake!!!”
Large crowd that had started to disburse “Hurray, game on”
That’s not your fault. Some of the machine are reallllll dumb. Which is funny, cause they’re machines and all. I suppose they’re at least consistently dumb about the same things?
.-= BlackLOG´s last blog ..V2009 – Day One =-.
“cheese ‘n cow is my krytonite”
hahahaha
Weekly I find someone in front of my at the self-check whose ass I want to kick for their stupidty…
I know. It happened AGAIN yesterday. I am donezo.
.-= Marsi @ The Cottage Cheese´s last blog ..The Butterfly Roof =-.
Have I ever mentioned that you look exactly like this girl I know named Leslie? She’s from the North too (I capitalize it because that’s what we were taught growing up in the South). And her personality is kind of like what I imagine yours is like. Any chance you were separated from a twin at birth? Just asking.
Yes! That hooker got the arm we were sharing.
.-= K @ Blog Goggles´s last blog ..Tomorrow =-.
“they’re gay and so are you” – awesome.
.-= Vittoria´s last blog ..TMI Thursday: TRUE CONFESSIONS – I’m kinda gross =-.
Your glamour shot would be complete if you had a cheeseburger in one fist and the dumbass watermelon man’s detached penis in the other…now that would be realllll classy!
Just sayin!
.-= Lil’ Woman´s last blog ..P.S. I Love You… =-.
My best friend and I refer to ourselves as JD and Turk sometimes…which is a little confusing because we are women, but… ah well. These are modern times! Damn the man!
Yeah. I dunno, ha!
.-= Britt´s last blog ..Ask Me Some Questions, I’ll Tell You No Lies =-.
YAY!
.-= LOVE GODDESS´s last blog ..THIS IS WAY TOO FUNNY— =-.
lilu…jst when i think i cannot love you more…tht glamour shot is to die! but i feel you should hve a cheeseburger in one hand and a beer in another and legs a little more open hahahahahaha
.-= miss rambles´s last blog .. =-.
That’s the best glamour shot I’ve ever seen.
.-= Megan´s last blog ..And the beat goes on =-.
I love Guy Love from Scrubs. Its one of my favorite shows ever. And your glamor shot is FABULOUS, as is all of your blog posts!!!
.-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Oh Hello Internet! =-.
btw, cheeseburger was worth getting up off my ass to make…YUMBO
Jealoussss. I had chicken noodle soup for lunch. Tear.
.-= littlemsblogger´s last blog ..Rant and Rave Wednesday =-.
People that dumb wouldn’t even say “owww!” until they got to their car, and realized they were hurt!
Touché.
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