So, yeah, I saw it. I’m a grown ass woman and I saw Harry Potter, wanna make something of it?? Whatevs, Hagrid’s totally hot. Any girl’s a spinner with him, after all.
I may have been a wee bit drunk and I don’t exactly “remember” everything that “happened,” but I do recall one of the most critical points in the plot line…
The kids are in one of their classes, and a teacher shows them how to make a potion of the scents that MOST attracts them. You know, sexually. (What?? They’re all 18 now. It’s legit.) And they were all “cookies” and “vanilla” and “Ron’s weiner”!
One of those isn’t true. But it may as well have been.
So of course I start thinking, what would mine be? Besides B’s manly musk, natch.
Well, my favorite smell in the whole wide web world is, undoubtedly, BASIL. I would eat that stuff raw, I swear. The mozzarella is a lovely but unnecessary accessory, from where I’m standing.
(Okay, that’s a lie; there are two things I never say no to: Don Draper and cheese.) But you catch my drift, yes?
Anygryffindor, I got to thinking; what if a guy actually smelled like basil and my grandmother’s kitchen? Would that really turn me on? I’m sure I would try to take a bite out of him, but probably not in the sexy way.
Can you bottle “a man and his dog playing in the park”? Or “my date ripping into some asshat for being rude to me”? How about “cute guy holding door for little blue haired lady”? Cause that’s what really gets my panties…
I’ve said too much.
As it’s Wednesday, I’ve decided to turn these ponderings into a particularly pungent (wooo alliteration!) Would You Rather…
WOULD YOU RATHER…
Smell like a dirty diaper filled with old fish scales and kitten diarrhea for the rest of your life (you are married and madly in love with someone already, but now they will have to smell you every day), or…
Have a partner that smells like a fresh human turd mixed with pickles and covered in burnt hair? (You are married and madly in love with them too.)
***For all of you who have been emotionally exhausted with my endless rants about our trials and tribulations in apartment hunting… fear not! We have officially FOUND what I believe is the perfect place for us- the right size, the right hood, and most importantly, the right price. Read: RENT CONTROLLED, BIATCHES!!! So thank you so much for all the karma and well wishes you sent our way. Mission? Accomplished. And pics to come soon!***
{ 80 comments }
Yay for home sweet home.
I LOVE Basil…Have you had tomato basil soup? Yum! Au Bon Pain makes it pretty yummy.
Um. I refuse to answer your question.
As far as a sexy scent…M still won’t tell me what his cologne is…but the smell of that cologne mixed with just…HIM…it’s incredible. I’ve run into men who were wearing the same cologne but always forget to ask what it is.
.-= PQ´s last blog ..Unplugging to Breathe =-.
I’d kill myself.
.-= Lemmonex´s last blog ..More or Less… =-.
Oh Lilu. Okay, I’m going to be the first selfish biatch and say it. I’d totally be the smelly one in my marriage. Why, you’re asking? It seems that I have a sense of smell that rivals a hunting or rescue or drug dog. My lovely hubby’s nose isn’t quite as sensitive as mine, so he wouldn’t be so offended. Damn, I’m selfish, but I’m totally okay with that when it comes to this.
OOH, trivia for the day. Did you know that your sense of smell can be linked to if you might get dimentia when you are older? The better your sense of smell is, the less likely you will have the disease. A friend who is a speech path taught me that.
Well, I’ve done my teaching for the day. I have to get back in the swing of things as school starts in a couple of weeks for the kiddos.
.-= Wendy´s last blog ..The I’s of My Life =-.
I choose B. Ben travels a ton for business, and I definitely would have to smell myself more than I would have to smell him.
.-= Jill Pilgrim´s last blog ..A Love Story In Retrospect, Part III: Return of the Tiger =-.
I’d rather them smell like crap. It’s pretty easy for me to fall out of love.
Wait, maybe I shouldn’t have told you that.
I will never fall out of love with you. Promise.
.-= Maxie´s last blog ..Would You Rather Wednesday =-.
Well, female strippers use baby powder…they ought to call it “Stripper Powder”, more guys wouldn’t mind holding babies with a diaper-full…
I once read that someone, somewhere did a study to figure out what smells turn men on the most. They had guys smell everything and anything you can think of to get their data.
Turns out Cher (in Clueless, not the other one) was right: men really do like the smell of something baking. The top sexy smell turns out to be hot, fresh cinnamon rolls.
Go figure, the way to a man’s heart really is through his stomach.
.-= Foggy Dew´s last blog ..Man’s best friend? =-.
I’m slightly (read: very) addicted to the HP movies and books. Currently counting down until the next movie comes out. (Read: DORK)
I’d stick to smelling good and remain single for the rest of my life.
.-= Marie´s last blog ..Shake It! =-.
Hmmm…I guess I would rather be the smelly one. I mean, I wouldn’t really be able to smell myself right? After the first day or so of smelling nasty, you’d probably get used to it.
.-= Cassie´s last blog ..WW: Jackson’s Birthday Portrait =-.
oh GOD. i guess i’d rather be the smelly one, because what if i decided to get preggers and have a kid with this guy? doesn’t a pregnant woman’s sense of smell go INSANE when she’s preggo? that would be rough. although then i guess i’d ALSO be able to smell myself in that scenario, but hopefully since it was me i’d be acclimated to the scent.
.-= Alice´s last blog ..requisite clunky blogher post =-.
Okay, I’ll take the smelly husband. I just hope our future home has multiple bedrooms, and we can afford a lot of air freshener. I don’t think I would love my smelly husband, though. Smelly people annoy me.
.-= Brooke´s last blog ..TMI Wednesday? =-.
i am no good at WRW, but i will say i am right there with you on the basil thing. i ADORE cosi’s TBMs. delish.
and i can’t wait to hear more about your new place!
.-= Lusty Reader´s last blog ..Burning books =-.
ah, i’m glad you found a place. i was ever so emotionally invested!
Oh, I would so be the smelly one. Smells get to me. There is nothing better than a girl that smells good. Girl I am seeing now wears Vicky Dream Angels and it is hot!
.-= justjp´s last blog ..Who would play you? =-.
I’ll die an old maid. No love is *that* strong
.-= Titania´s last blog ..The office is fattening me up =-.
I would have to go with the partner thing, since obviously the reason I’m with her smelling like that is because she lets me do stuff to her bum.
Seriously. That has to be the reason.
She lets me do bum stuff because I smell like basil while playing with my dog in the park after holding doors open for old women.
.-= moooooog35´s last blog ..The Conversation Piece #2 – The Birthday Wish =-.
Awesome! I’m so glad you’ve found something.
And I don’t think I can make a choice based on those two options. However, I hear the smelly one can’t smell it. They become immune to their own stink. Scary, huh?
.-= Summer´s last blog ..Breakin’ A Foot Off In Someone’s Ass =-.
I go with both. If we both stink the stank will cancel each other out and we’ll only be offensive to everybody else in the world.
Right?
Also, my 56 year old mother is totally into harry pothead, so don’t worry.
.-= Mike´s last blog ..A Use for the Morbidly Obese! =-.
I LOVE Harry Potter – I was in the theater the Wednesday it came out. (At least I wasn’t there at midnight Tuesday night!) The books are even better than the movies!
I think I’d rather be the smelly one, ’cause you’d get used to your own smell, right?
Congrats on the new place!
.-= BigSis´s last blog ..A Different Kind of Bathroom Humor =-.
I plead the 5th on this edition of WYRW. I can’t even think about those two scenarios without gagging, so I’m just going to stop there.
Also, I love Harry Potter. I’m an almost 25 year old Harry Potter addict. I was also at the theater the day it came out (but not at midnight, a girl’s gotta have standards), but I do have to say that the books are exponentially better than the movies. Trust.
.-= Jaxie´s last blog ..Happy Weekend All! =-.
Hey, if Hagrid has a chance of getting laid, that means that I’ve got a chance.
.-= Badass Geek´s last blog ..In Which I Avert My Eyes =-.
I love the Harry Potter movies but I’m behind a few. We usually wait until they are on Encore.
Do you think they can bottle “Sexy man pulling my hair”… wait! what? I so didn’t say that.
Congrats on the new place!!
i would rather not be with anyone. haha. it’s too stinky.
.-= floreta´s last blog ..Watery Wednesday: Waterfall =-.
Would you believe me if I said Old Spice? ::hangs head:: It’s better than Axe!!!!!
.-= Sadako´s last blog ..NYC Prep Episode 3: What Happens in Cancun… =-.
OMG, I totally understand about basil. Try out MAC’s “Greenify” perfume. It smells like lemons and basil and happiness. I use it for me. So my cleave always smells like the best kind of dinner.
.-= emvandee´s last blog ..Peaches that taste like candy. =-.
Congratulations! Can’t wait to see pics of the new place
.-= Lindsay´s last blog ..Movin’ On =-.
Can’t stand burnt hair, so I would have to choose the first.
And… you can get a spinner in a basket in Thailand. Or so I’m told.
.-= Skylers Dad´s last blog ..Random Comics/Cartoons =-.
You had me at Don Draper and Basil.
.-= I Have Two Dogs & Love Wine´s last blog ..Quite a Gem! =-.
“Anygryffindor” LOL, so hard to spell but I lurve how it rolls off the tongue.
I would rather…not
Can’t wait to see the new place and so glad it’s not a dolled up cardboard box.
.-= Ela´s last blog ..Photog Strike is Off… =-.
Anygriffindor – HA!
.-= Mel – Just Fine and Dandy´s last blog ..As of Lately… =-.
This post’s title is a DIRTY LIE.
I saw the twitter message last night about the new digs – CONGRATS – you have a sunroom…
Your question – hmmm…1st I thought me, but I’d rather him smell like whatever – at least I could run away…
Basil? Really?
.-= littlemsblogger´s last blog ..I’m Mad at the Canadians =-.
Assuming I don’t have to smell myself… I’d rather be the one who smells. I’m a selfish bitch. Plus men can get turned on by anything and he’d still want to hump me. Awesome. If he smelled like that I would never get near him. Unless I had a cold and couldn’t smell a thing.
.-= Kellie´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
I like the smell of gasoline at the gas station, burning wood and cedar.
None of which make for a very pleasant smelling guy.
Maybe that’s what happened to all my brain cells! Too much gas huffing….
.-= Like A Bad Girl Straight to Video´s last blog ..The toilet is NOT a garbage disposal =-.
I actually kinda love bad smells, which I know sounds fucked up. Can I tell you a secret? The smell of my cat’s breath is one of my favorite scents ever, also I can’t walk by someone (even homeless people) without involuntarily taking a whiff. I’m a sick fucker, I know.
Here’s a palate cleanser: I met Jon Hamm a month or so ago while I was on a date with a fellow who knew him. He is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met.
.-= Georgia´s last blog ..Randoms – My Weekend =-.
1) I love Harry Potter, and I am older than you.
2) If a man smelled like vanilla, I would run, because he is either a) gay or b) purposely trying to attract a woman in a creepy, socially-awkward way. Chocolate chip or peanut butter cookies might work, though.
3) Yay! Congrats on the apartment!
.-= wafelenbak´s last blog ..Results & Committments…& Microwaves =-.
I would rather eat my arm of and smell my own rotting flesh for the rest of my life.
And, YAY I cant wait to see pictures.
I have never seen or watched anything Harry Potter-related.
Would you rather:
I doesn’t matter. I would have my olafactory gland removed first.
Yay! You are not going to be homeless.
definitely the first one… i was going to go with the second one until you said pickles… barf…
.-= Mich´s last blog ..Its always when you least expect it… =-.
I’d pick the nasty smelling wife. At least you’re not around her all the time and get a break from the stink. Plus, last time I checked marriage vows don’t include “in smelling like a fresh human turd mixed with pickles and covered in burnt hair”.
Rent controlled??? You lucky beyotch!! What about smelling like bigfoot’s d*ck?
well, that certainly didn’t work . . .
http://roflrazzi.com/2009/07/27/celebrity-pictures-billy-gibbons-dumbledore-tour/
Kitten diarrhea? See, that’s the key. That wouldn’t be fair to anyone. So I gotta go with choice #2. It’s the one that doesn’t require me and her and everyone we know to smell kitten diarrhea every time I’m in the room.
.-= f.B´s last blog ..so we meet again =-.
I did this didn’t I? It was the pesto that got you thinking! Congrats on the apartment, saw this and thought, well, of myself, but you too!
http://xkcd.com/616/
.-= Socks´s last blog ..Restaurant Review Time! =-.
I pick A, Neighbor!!
Why do girls always want to bite guys they are attracted to? That is weird – is that why this whole Twilight thing is so big?
.-= Narm´s last blog ..Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death =-.
lol, i have a sensitive nose and gag reflex issues so it’s really a lose, lose for me…i’d vomit all the time. i guess i’d have to go with my husband being stinky so i could get some relief when he was at work.
.-= hanako66´s last blog ..Etsy Wednesday! =-.
i feel like you might have been a wee bit drunk when you wrote this.
that’s obvi a compliment.
and i’d obvi rather smell than have to smell.
.-= Vittoria´s last blog ..Everybody poops! =-.
Can I pick “you have a soon to be ex-husband that smells like a human turd…, etc.?” Because that’s my first choice…
.-= verybadcat´s last blog ..Looky Who’s Fabulous! =-.
your “anygryffindor” made me think of myself. i’m not conceited or anything.
i’m not gonna pick either, but i’m gonna say that i love when men wear cologne and it kinda smells like “them,” as in it’s mixed with their natural juices or something.
not THOSE natural juices you pervert, but like, it becomes ONE WITH THE MAN. kinda hard to explain, but it’s hot. yea…
.-= GingerMandy´s last blog ..The topic of this blog is mayonnaise, but you won’t know that until close to the end. Sorry. =-.
Hail the heavens for people like you who blog what I think just cause they bloody can. Btw what was up with Luna?
I’m a little more of a legit lame than you because I was actually “willing” to go to the midnight premier. Of course free weed was involved. I kid. Kinda. Anyways… Stealing your idea, with backtracks of course and credit where it is do.
P.P.S. Creamy Tomato Basil Bisque Soup, chyeah.
.-= PTexan´s last blog ..Captain Planet, He’s Our Hero! =-.
“I’m a grown ass woman”
Yeah, right.
I recently had a (ok 3) lemon basil martinis. They were happy heaven in a glass.
Anything but burnt hair…
Good to hear you found a place!
.-= eric´s last blog ..Awards, Guitar Riff, and Signs =-.
Oh my goodness, I love the way basil smells, too. I actually have made a garden on my fire escape because of lack of room elsewhere, and I have a TON of basil in a pot. I wont lie, instead of sewing a few seeds like a normal person, I poured the whole packet of 100 into a pot. Now it’s like a bush!
It’s funny, because I smell my basil on the daily, just cause it is so fragrant. You must be stalking me. I’ve had to clip my basil every couple days lately because its been out of control. I can’t wait to make a pesto or something out of it!
.-= Rebel Mel´s last blog ..Freebie… Sundays? Among other things covered in this post. =-.
Oh, anddddd, I hear you’re coming to Boston? If you are, tweet at me. Maybe I’ll run into you somewhere!
.-= Rebel Mel´s last blog ..Freebie… Sundays? Among other things covered in this post. =-.
I heart all things Don Draper. August 16th! New season:)
Congrats on the apt, rent controlled is the best way to go!
So, I’m totally thinking it was the cookies that wasn’t added to the potion right? It’s the only thing that wouldn’t mush down enough!!
.-= jen – tsk´s last blog ..My First Kiss….or First Flop (as it were!) =-.
No. No no no no nonononononono rather.
That is all.
Oh, except congrats on the new place!
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Humor: nature or nurture? =-.
I looked at that photo and found myself thinking about cake the whole post. Cake of magical creatures…what is that? I wondered. Until I realized he’s the fucking CARE of magical creatures teacher. Off to have my eyes checked and find some cake!
I love basil too…especially in salad dressing. NOM!
.-= Nikki´s last blog ..New Moon Parody =-.
What the… I can’t even fathom what all of those smell like together to make a comparison. I guess I’ll take either since they both seem equally terrible.
BTW the “Ron’s weiner!” made me cover up laughing so hard in my office that someone thought I sneezed and said “bless you”.
.-= nicopolitan´s last blog ..Duties of 21st Century Parenting =-.
holllla to you new sweet home! drinks for all!
your would you rathers are repulsive.
but i’d rather have a smelly partner. because at least you’re
not ALWAYS with them…
but i’d always be with myself. and i don’t want to have
to smell myself all the time.
and ha, basil? for realz?
.-= amanda´s last blog ..i just want to crawl into bed and sleeeeep. =-.
I am well over 10 years older than you, and I devoured each Harry Potter book the minute it was released, and have seen all the movies. Only my crazy schedule and the ever-presence of an energetic toddler has prevented me from seeing the most recent. As for the “would you rather…” both are too nauseating to allow me to choose.
Glad you found a place to live!
.-= Wendy´s last blog ..It’s a good thing I’m not much of a foodie. Also, I love my mommy and daddy. =-.
Most people who smell can’t smell themselves, so I’ll be the smelly one. If he loves me, he’ll stick around. (Aren’t I optimistic? Ha. My boyfriend would bolt in a second!)
.-= MinD´s last blog ..Ripped from the Headlines: Vol. 3 =-.
def a pahtna who smells. it’s called low self-esteem!
besides, smells wear out, right? your nose gets used to them in like a minute!
ps congrats on the house!
.-= mylittlebecky´s last blog ..eHow to: increase weird google traffic =-.
This Friday night you and your man’s manliness have a date with basil. Then we’ll know for sure.
.-= blueviolet´s last blog ..I Wonder If He’ll Kill Me For This – W/W Wednesday =-.
OH….I wasn’t going to see Harry Potter but I think I will drunk. God I love you. You give me the best life advice.
CONGRATS on your new love nest!!!!!!!!!
.-= Elizabeth Marie´s last blog ..I can’t…and I won’t…but I should…and I could… =-.
Congrats on the apartment! Very exciting. Speaking of basil, the other week (well, a few weeks ago, aka before I broke my ankle and am now too whacked out on vicodin to not pass out while drinking) I had a strawberry basil martini and it was really amazing. Highly recommended.
.-= Children of the 90s´s last blog ..Tamagotchi =-.
I love basil too – we have a plant in our apartment. And Don Draper, there are no words…
.-= Susan´s last blog ..connections =-.
For me, it’s that Axe body spray shit. Those commercials? Totally modeled after my life.
For my boyfriend, if I smell like garlic, he’s more turned on than anything.
.-= K @ Blog Goggles´s last blog ..Sponsor intro: April Showers & May Flowers =-.
Congratulations on the new place! Since my husband has no sense of smell, I would probably chose to be the smelly one, except that my sense of smell is really keen so it would drive me crazy smelling myself all the time. Maybe it would be better if it was him because hopefully I’d get a break now and then. Yuck!
.-= Cyndy´s last blog ..Free Fun in the Woods =-.
I’m so not answering that would-you-rather question! XD
.-= nashe´s last blog ..Trolley Trolls ("Les Trolls du Trolley"?) =-.
i’m glad you found a place, wahoo! as for you lovely question, doesn’t matter b/c either way we’d both get surgery to remove our sense of smell. yes, i understand that eating wouldn’t be any fun, but that’s the price we’d pay i suppose (along with social social ostracism but who’s counting when you’re in love?).
.-= Down and Out Chic´s last blog ..Respect vs. Popularity =-.
Definitely have a partner that smells. That way I don’t have to be around it ALL the time.
And congrats on finding an apartment! I bet that spelled some serious relief.
I don’t have a sense of smell which makes this one easy for me.
I’ll take the smelly partner because I don’t actually have to deal with it.
If I was smelling like dead fish and kitten shit I would have to become a shut in because I’m already paranoid enough about smelling nasty.
i would rather be single then smell or have to smell someone lol
and congrats on the apartment find!
.-= Cassi´s last blog ..Where the eff did these Carpet Dudes come from?!?! =-.
Congrats for finding your new sweet home. I love Harry Potter too, and I’m 29 this year.
.-= SG Travel´s last blog ..Japan Public Holidays 2010 Calendar =-.
I think that if I had that potion, I’d smell….all kinds of sugary treats. I’m a sugar whore. Oh yeah.
As for would you rather….um… I don’t want to smell like shit, and after dealing with people that smell like shit, I don’t want to deal with them either, so I’ll go with be naked for the rest of my life for 1000, Bob.
.-= Britt´s last blog ..Flashback Friday: Joggers and Mailboxes =-.
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