I’m joining my sugarplum Maxie again for a little “Would You Rather Wednesday” action today. If you have a heart condition (or are just eating your breakfast), now would be the time to look away…
First, some background info. Because I sure as shit didn’t know what this thing was…
What is a mucous plug?
“The mucous plug is a collection of cervical mucus that seals the opening of the cervix during pregnancy. It keeps bacteria and infection from entering into the cervix, providing a protective barrier for the developing baby.”
Let’s dig deeper, shall we? (Ooo, poor word choice…)
And lastly, this wouldn’t be any fun if we didn’t know what it looked like, did it? (I’ll spare you a picture because I am a kind and benevolent person, but perhaps words can do it justice…)
“A mucus plug may be clear, slightly pink, or may be tinged with blood. The plug may consist of stringy mucus, or it may be sticky discharge.”
All right, now that we’re all on board, let me ask you this…
Eat a freshly expelled mucous plug (no sauce/seasonings of any kind, just knife and fork, baby! (Oh, and probably also a little baby…))
OR…Eat the meal created for the Royal Biatch customer in the movie Waiting, pubes, loogies, dandruff and all? (From the greasy likes of a corporate restaurant chef line, no less…) If you’ve never seen the clip, you can click here to go directly to it, or skip to the 1:17 mark on the video below…
Oh, look. I just made MYSELF throw up.
Happy Humpday! Who’s hungry??
(Schmoopy note: Thanks so much for your comments, emails, and other messages re: yesterday. I really appreciate so many of you taking the time to reach out. I think the post came across more drastic than I intended- I am okay, 100% okay… I just need a change when it comes to living a healthier lifestyle. Again, thanks so much, everyone.)
{ 109 comments }
Ewww@ …but why can't I look away???
That's some kind of choice. I'm going to puss out and choose neither. Hey, there's no gun to my head! I'm not choosing!
well people do eat the placenta….Why I have NO FRIGGIN CLUE!!!
My brother said it looks like filet mignon! Luckily we are nothing alike!
Happy Wednesday!
I can't even choose. All I can imagine is the texture of that mucus plug… and I don't think I will ever be able to eat Turkish Delight again.
Awesome sauce! I just threw up a little.
I would chose the food from the movie Waiting.
Also, not sure I ever want to have kids!
Gross. You're gross.
I think I'd rather eat the mucous plug. Of course I'll have to prime myself by changing the name of it to something less Ew! and then repeat it to myself (or maybe out loud, if that's what it takes) over and over again until I'm convinced I don't really know what I'm eating: "Nature's Marshmallow. Nature's Marshmallow. Nature's Marshmallow. Nature's Marshmallow. NATURE"S MARSHMALLOW…." Wait. I'm not so sure this is going to work either.
My brain officially will not wrap around this one.
*gags*
Yeah, because, see that's what happens when I try…
wow.
You've officially grossed me out and I've now become a vegetarian.
one time… i puked up a ball of mucus (from my mouth) that looked just like your description of a mucus plug. it was kind of hard and rubbery, but pure mucus.
after reading this, i believe you need to know that.
i'd eat the dandruff steak before i scarfed down a mucus plug, thanks.
I'd choose the "Waiting" meal, hands fucking down.
There is NO WAY you could get me to eat a fresh mucous plug.
waiting food.
i think that bartender at fado was pretty creeped out by our discussion of the mucus plug on saturday…
Totallyyyy nauseous now lol I was so not prepared for this post! This should not be read before breakfast.
My OWN mucous plug! Not just any mucous plug….
If I didn't have a choice, then I would just off myself instead and choose neither!
Ew. I can't believe you posted a description of a mucus plug. That's disgusting. I am never having kids, thanks Lilu.
I'll never get preggo now because all I'll ever think of is that disgusting mucus plug. Nasty!
oh God, yuck!
I cannot choose, its too disgusting.
However, I do LOVE the movie Waiting so mental high five for your taste in movies!
I am going plug, on the grounds that I eat pussy as if it was a delicacy. No dude pubes, not cool.
Can I cook the plug? If so, I'll probably take that, babies included.
If I can't cook it, just sign me up for the Waiting meal. At least that has real food in it somewhere. Although the thought of eating pubic hair is making me gag right now.
I'll go with the waiting one. There's no way in hell I'm eating a raw mucus plug.
I would rather someone just shoot me and call it a day.
This is the toughest would you rather ever….
Could it be my own plug?
I just gagged typing that.
Well if I have to choose i guess then the mucus plug.
Would you wednesday are great for my diet. I can't eat all day.
Dear God. Erm, wow. I can't even choose. I guess… maybe… nope. Can't do it.
I'd take a golden shower from JP's crackhead before I did either of these.
Dude.
I don't think I can answer this question.
Like at all.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW
Freak sakes… this is nastier than gross!
I can honestly say that a mucous-plug would be WAY easier than the special concoction from that show. EW. Both gross, but the plug isn't usually too big.
Actually, my stomach is turning.
this whole thing is wrong.
I'm not sure which is worse – that I would choose the mucus plug or that I knew what it was before you gave the (very descriptive) definition.
*chokes back vomit*
Kill myself. That is my choice. Life is not worth living after eating one of those things. You definitely almost made me throw up.
A mucus plug basically looks like a really big booger (at least mine did). So if you don't have a problem eating boogers, the choice is obvious…
Wow.
Does your therapist ever just look at you, slack jawed, slowly shaking their head, muttering "wow"?
*raises white flag*
I think I'd just vomit. I can't even bring myself to type out a choice… blech! But… I'm going with the pube meal… *promptly throws up*
Oh Good God! I can't EVEN do this one!
You just brought WYRW to a whole another level..EWW!
Actually, I AM still hungry. Thanks for asking, though.
sick, sick, sick…..
im gonna have to go with… oh geez…. im gonna puke just thinking about this but its gonna have to be the nasty steak.
(have i totally been living under a rock to have never heard of that movie??)
Mucus plug all the way baby.
I've eaten worse.
Her name was Dawn.
And that's enough about that.
Good god. Did you know what a mucus plug was already, or did you have to google it? I think I would kill myself first…I've seen a mucus plug set free before…not pretty.
Oh gross!! I guess the waiting food b/c who hasn't eaten a couple pubes, dandruff, etc in their life?
I'll take C. Starving.
After seeing my cat try to eat her own afterbirth, I had to take it from her, and I've never been the same. I'm scarred for life with anything birth. And loogies are a close second.
JUST WAIT 'TIL IT'S YOUR TURN LITTLE LADY! mucous plugs will haunt your dreams and toilet bowl…
that being said… i guess i'm just going to have to starve to death, die, etc., b/c i just feel really vomitous when considering either of those options.
I think I just threw up in my own mouth…Nasty..
I don't think I would be able to swallow either…
What? I'm away one day and I miss drama? arrrr. I will go read yesterday between the office & shuffling packing boxes.
As for today- Fuck! If Joe Rogan would come over and pretend it was an episode of fear factor I'd do the mucus plug.
Fuck. I hate you!
(ps- I love you)
I would probably rather starve haha.
Um…why. Why would you do this to us. And also, I want to know what the conversation was that even led up to what a mucous plug is…
I think I could have lived the rest of my life not knowing that. (Unless I get preggers.)
Oh my dear sweet motherfcking jeebus h christ on a candy stick.
mucus plu*HURL
I would rather shoot myself in the face and end it all.
Would we get to be clueless about the fact that we were eating dandruff, pubes and loogies like the biatch? If so I'm definitely going w/ the food from Waiting.
That whole mucus plug thing has me feeling sick. Barf.
I'd rather die a slow and painful death by starvation.
Seriously.
you know that expression "so wrong it's right"? well this is just wronger. because now i've thought about mucous plugs for more than 5 minutes.
on the other hand i weirdly appreciate all the info sharing so now i can store this bit of trivia away. hopefully never to use, but still i'll know it!
Seriously I take a pass as I puke in my mouth!!! Gross, but oh so fun to read!
WYR now officially scares me more than TMI Thursday. *hoarf*
This is the first time I refuse to play this game.
I know this completely shows how gross I am, but I would go for mucus plug. Full on. They're not that big and you could eat it like an oyster. Body hair OFF the body is one of my top vomit inducing things. I even make Todd clean out the drain, because, oh my god, I think I'm gonna hurl.
Hmmm… so dying first is not an option… uh, plug I think, gag
I love this game, but dude. COME ON.
mucous plug.
I'm not even going to answer that. TOO FAR LILU, TOO FAR!
OMG LiLu….I will wear a permanent look of disgust on my face today
Oh my god. You're fear in your about me is my fear, that is leaning towards friggin' reality. And your username is my nickname.
OMFG that is nasty. I can't even make a decision. I think it would come down to…whose mucous plug is it? LOL. Is it your own? or some nasty-ass diseased person's?
I think I'll go throw up now.
i think i hate you a little.
i'd go with the waiting food, because AT LEAST the nast would be mixed in with ACTUAL FOOD.
*vomit*
I'm only choosing mucus plug because…
I can't stand meat. >.<
I decided they are equally gross, then decided… I'm not going to eat a steak.
And that is where the choice was made clear for me.
But Lilu… did you REALLY just ask us that? >.<
Speaking as a man that has performed oral sex on women, and understanding what a sticky mess that can be (and sometimes a stinky sticky mess) I'd have to go with #1
Even though that scene in Waiting is HE-LAIR-EE-US and makes me gag, I'd still take that over any kind of plug anyday. As long as I didn't know what it was, like that biatch didn't. She seemed to enjoy it! What you don't know can't kill ya, right?
This one is so disgusting!
I figure the mucous plug can't be all that big, right? So that's my choice. And ONLY my OWN. I can't believe I just chose that one.
And re: yesterday's post…glad you're OK.
I know we've recently just met via the interweb, but I feel like I know you and consider you a friend. I thought about you when I heard about the train accident, and worried about like you were my little sister. xoxo
I would rather listen to Nickelback.
Question: *whos* mucous plug am I eating…that will be the deciding factor.
Pondering this one which brings me to another ponder…just how big do you think the Octomom's plug was?
i just had a very nice indian take away!!!!! arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
uhm… i prefer to pass and die of starvation. Yeah, no gun to my head either so Im going to gag and pass out right about now……
*plop
btw, im not a tagging blog ppl person but i tagged you on my blog just because.
i watched that movie when it first came out and i threw up back then at that part of the movie…i might give the mucus part a try. ewww
Can I snort it up my nose? Then it might just seem like regular mucus.
Blech
Wait, maybe I could wait till it dries up and gets crusty then eat it like a potato chip!
After seeing that clip, I have to go with the mucus plug.
- Kendall
P. S. You're an evil bitch.
P. S. S. And I love you for it.
Is there any chance that fecal matter could be in the plug?
If not, then I go for the Waiting thing.
If there's poop, then the plug.
I was doing fine until I read Mike's comment. The visual was just too much for me. I now can't choose.
You completely grossed me out. Congrats.
Having seen and actually HAD a mucus plug…would it be my own? Cause that would be like eating my own snot. With some blood for sauce.
Seriously, it was like when you have a nasty sinus infection, and you blow a big chunk of snot and it's a little bloody. Only like three times the size of something that comes out of your nose. It's THAT gross. But if it was at least MY grossness, I'd have to choose it over the other.
I was just about to cheat on my diet, before reading this post! Thank you [for real] for killing my appetite!
That's a tough one but I would pick the pube sandwich. At least I wouldn't be aware I was eating such nastiness. Even if I was aware, I would still choose that, I can't hear the word mucus w/out gagging so I know I would never be able to eat it.
Honestly, I stopped reading after mucous plug. GROSS> xoxo.
Oh my God ew. I cannot choose and that is the grossest thing EVER!
Ew ew ew. I think I choose mucous plug, though.
Also, I feel ya on the post yesterday…my body is feeling much the same way as of late. It's just time for a little alchy-party break, yes?
hahahahah eweeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i cant even decide bc that is gross hahahha
Okay, are we talking Octomom mucous plug, or just your run of the mill plug because you KNOW that's alottafagina and I don't even wanna know what kinda plug she dropped (though, runny eggs comes to mind…sunny side up with some tabasco sauce for coloring).
It's settled – throw in 2 pieces of dry wheat toast and I'd even attempt the Octoplug.
P.S. I was trying to get the TMI page while eating lunch (chunky tomato soup) and had to stare at the word mucus plug while my slow computer processed. Not that the TMI page was that much safer!
Aw, sweetie, this post is gonna have SO much for meaning for you after you have a kid someday. Just imagine getting to see your precious newborn all slimey and bloody, right alongside your own mucus plug.
Now that is a mental image that won't leave you for a while.
Smooches,
-Francesca
PS: I know you are super popular and everything now, but shoot me an e-mail and let me know if I am going to see you on video next Thursday: 3bay.b.chicks@gmail.com.
You know, I've never really believed in the concept, but I think Would You Rather Wednesday is a good day for me to start dieting.
LiLu I am totally disturbed that your brain came up with the mucous plug option! Aaaahh!
So not like me to actually participate in this…which is EXACTLY why I am doing so!
The nasty meal from Waiting!
That's the sickest thing I've ever read and every time I try to ponder an answer, I gag a little. So because I want to keep my dinner in my stomach, I'm not sure I can answer.
Well done.
Oh, Lilu…..I love you so much. I had an awful day and I was playing around online….nothing on the net but slimy Sanford and that it dawned on me; go see Lilu. And as usual, my faithful friend, you did not disappoint.
With that said, you are one sick motherf$$%^&.
Having had a mucus plug and jumped up and down, screaming with excitement when that sucker finally fell out, I would eat it in a second….especially if it meant that the baby would be coming out soon thereafter.
Lilu, don't ever change!!!
The first one. Gak.
Also being burned out is horrible – I suggest decluttering (dunno bout you but I'm a disaster zone) and giving yourself some space to breathe.
*hug*
Since I had a baby in May, I learned firsthand what a mucous plug is. NOT PRETTY.
You are fucking disgusting. And I love you.
I learned what a mucus plug was last year when my friend was preggo. Pretty much sealed my decision that I didnt want to have a child. Gah.
omg, i was just eating when i read this. well this was an awesome appetitte surpressor. i dont want to eat my burrito anymore.
Bring me the sticky baby!!!
I'm kidding, this is really something Lilu. I threw up in my mouth a little.
darling youve reached a new level of yucky.
No. God no.
Oh, honey! Only you and your blogging superpowers could get people to actually make those choices. Sorry, I just can't do it. Ewwwww
I'd have to go with starvation like some of the others. I have enough fat on me to keep me going for at least a couple of months.
I know technically it's cheating, but I don't care.
Starvation it is!
And I also have to add…
Why the fuck does no one ever tell us any of this. I'm a woman and I may or may not bear children in the future. I want to know stuff like this so I can prepare myself, because let's face it, it'll take years to prepare for that shit.
Just another reason to not birth any kids.
Gawd.
Mucous plug!
I don't want to end up picking someone's pubes out of my teeth, s'all.
Yet: It's okay… breathe…
nikki: *pulls out gun*
Shelly: Your brother just grossed ME out. Win.
blueskies: Ooo… and me either, now. Thanks!
Marie: My work here is done.
Kate: I know.
Sparkle: Nature's Fluff, maybe?
Courtney: Wow, indeed.
LMB: I'm not sure it's meaty…
SLG: Me too. Dandruff all the way. What?
Geek: I concur, my dear.
cavy: He was, but he played it off well.
LMO: I put a warning!
Penny: You can do your own. That's fair, I think.
Taylor: Kids are overrated.
Ask Alice: You and me both!
ronda: *mental high five*
justjp: Understood completely.
shine: No cooking. Pubic hair's probably nutritious, somehow!
Maxie: Me either. Amen.
Court: Victory!
Kris: Yes. *gag*
lbluca: I live to serve, my dear.
Racquel: JP has his own crackhead? I want!
Deutlich: Wuss.
Debbi: Nastier than gross = WIN!
Cheddar: Let the vomit out. You'll feel better.
Stephanie: Almost?
Wendy: Oh, GROSS. Well played.
Svaha: What's a therapist?
f.B: Fair enough.
lovelila: At least you get steak with it…
Jules: WIN.
Wonderful: I know. I think I've outdone myself.
Bridget: PROPS.
Mich: ROCK!!! Go, quickly, and rent, my child!
moog: Dawn is SUCH a stripper's name.
Nikki: I did NOT know… B actually was the one who enlightened me!
liferehab: Spiders, etc?
Fizzgig: Just reading that sentence scarred me. I am so sorry.
thebestmichelle: TOILET BOWL?? I don't wanna know…
Blondie: That's what she said.
repliderium: Love you too. You know you do!
RCaitlin: Touche.
Liebchen: Come on, you know me better than that!
The Demigod: YESSSSSSSS.
Courtni: Honestly? I don't blame you.
Kellie: You can be clueless… until you choke on a pube.
just me: I hear ya.
Lusty: I'm so wrong it's wrong. Really wrong.
Celly: You seem to be the only one who thinks so…
Elle Dubya: I know. It's actually worse than my TMIT this week…
Kristina P: Fair enough…
WuTang: FULL ON?!? I may have met my match…
Eric: Heart attack, perhaps?
Hotch: Okay, okay. Apparently I went TOO gross this time.
JM: I'm sorry!
Hanako66: Just tell them where you got it from.
pinksundrops: Oooo, weird!
Cassie: It can be your own. It's gross enough, no?
Alice: Only a little?
Eggy: I may have. Don't hate me.
Mike: You OWNED this challenge, my friend.
Stephanique: Ignorance is BLISS, my friend.
Tonya: What if it's Octomom's? And thanks, re: yesterday.
Narm: OMG! You did NOT just say that!
theblacktulip: It can be your own…
Gladys: I just threw up.
tgis: Sorry about that…
PorkStar: Thanks for the shout out, my dear.
Caroline: You are brave…
Mr. C: Only you.
Kendall: I know you do.
Katie: If there's poop?!
JPP: YES! WIN!
Princess: It can be your own. *voms*
meleah: You are so welcome.
BS&BC: mucus mucus mucus
Margarita: Honestly? I don't blame ya.
adriana: WIN!
Gidget: Yup. I'm taking off til the 4th, and it feels GOOD.
Barista: That's the point!
SIB: You are a brave soul, my friend.
Nikki: The TMI's not even as bad as this, this week.
3BBChicks: If it's Thursday, that will be a problem, as it's TMI Thursday around here…
TishTash: You wouldn't be the first.
Miss Rosa: So am I, kinda.
SO@28: Me too. Good choice!
Susan: That's a win in my book.
respendentlife: You can always count on me! xo
Kali: You are definitely right- I just may attack my closet this weekend.
Larissa: Pictures?
hautepocket: XOXO
Mandy: I am not even slightly jealous.
Awesome Sara: That'll teach you.
Andhari: Just a little?
alissa: Should I be proud or ashamed?
Nashe: I know.
SMB: I don't blame you one bit. What's WRONG with me??
sleepyjane: I KNOW. I had no idea this happens!!!!
Nicole: You are brave, my dear!
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
thats all.. *gag* …i can… *gag* …say…
"Oh, look. I just made MYSELF throw up."
You, me, and everyone I know!!!
ewww, but best part of the movie! ((lol)) id rather eat the mucuous plug i guess. ewwwwwww
haha…okay, so I'm a mom of 2 with one on the way, and thankfully I have NEVER seen a mucus plug…knew about them, just never saw one…but I thought you'd like to know that I was told they look like a big wad of slimy snot…heheh…..as for choosing, I would have to say the food from Waiting, but do I have the option of throwing up afterwards?
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