I am a professional street walker.
Wait… that came out wrong.
Let me ‘splain.
Walking the streets of Washington, D.C. is truly an art form. Much like driving, there is a complex and orchestrated pattern to the movement of the sidewalks. It drives me absolutely crazy when people (tourists) don’t respect the rules of the pavement- walk on the right, let others pass, don’t walk 19 people abreast, and God help you if you cut me off.
I’ve mentioned before that I walk nearly two miles to and from work each day. Seeing as I’m usually late, and we all know I am a Masshole…
I WALK FAST.
Oh, you think you walk fast? Nope. You’re wrong. I walk faster.
Not only do I speedwalk my way through downtown, knowing the exact pace I must keep to catch all the lights without having to stop (you know how I hate stopping!)… I will race you.
Yes, that’s right. If I see someone in front of me, walking at a competitive pace, I will speed up to pass them. And I will do a little dance of victory in my head while I do it.
Is the game fair? Uh, probably not, since they generally don’t know they’re playing (read: fighting to the DEATH! Too bad I’m not Sicilian…) with me. Or they just think “Look at that crazy speed-walking girl. Her skirt’s all twisted and up her ass from skipping across the street to make the lights. What a tard.”
To this I say, FINE, sir/madam. You may have a point… *picks wedgie*
But I still win. Every time.
That is, until yesterday…
Last evening on my walk (race) home, I was halfway there when I noticed a girl of similar size and stature (YES, I assess my competitors, what of it??) zipping along in front of me.
“Oh, that is SO not happening,” I thought. I cranked up some Bell Biv DeVoe (what? Poison’s got great walking rhythm!) and quickened the pace.
But this girl was GOOD. She was gliding along at my infamous ‘almost awkwardly fast’ pace, and she had it down. I ended up chugging along in her shadow, basically riding her shoulder like that asshat in the left lane who won’t let you get over, but won’t go fast enough to pass you, either.
The thing is, to pass her, I would’ve had to break out in a run. So I did what any sane person would do.
I pulled out the big guns.
With Rocky’s heroic anthem in my ear, I caught up to her at the next light and assessed her with my peripherals.
No way was this girl gonna beat me.
As soon as the light changed, I took off and soared across Mass Ave. By the time I reached the other side, she was still lollygagging (yes, lollygagging) halfway across the street.
I’ll take one of these buttons any time now, please and thank you.
Petty? Definitely. Ridiculous? You know it.
(And so do I.)
But hey, 20 miles a week is a lot of walkin’. A girl’s gotta keep herself entertained, somehow… it’s the little things.
And my legs sure aren’t complaining from the workout.
***Sidenote: Yes, I changed my google reader setting to “shortened posts”… I didn’t think it mattered much, since you ALL click through to comment, right?? RIGHT??? And I just wanted to get a better idea of my stats. Well, apparently I was wrong, as I have gotten comments/tweets/emails expressing worries and displeasure. Let me know why and I’ll probably be very easily coerced into changing it back.***
{ 132 comments }
ridiculous? a little. hilarious? most definitely
love the princess bride reference… that was just on TV yesterday! definitely didn’t make my bf watch it with me… again….
congrats on your win!!
when i book it through times square on a friday afternoon (or ANY afternoon), i mutter things like “WE DO NOT STOP IN NEW YORK CITY!” and “MOVE!”
loudly.
Yeah, walking in the city drives me nuts…But I gotta get used to it again. This morning wasn’t bad only because getting from my house to the metro in the morning, the streets are pretty deserted. (Shady? Yes.)
When the weather is nice, there’ll be nights I’ll opt for that 45 min walk home instead of taking the metro. Well…google says 45 mins…Maybe I’ll cut that shit down.
Haha you’re such a bamf!
I can’t stand people who walk slow. Don’t they have anyplace to be? And I also have an issue with people who stand on escalators on the METRO like they are on a fucking ride at Disneyland. It’s fucking escalator. WALK!
Anyway, I totally bit off of you on my blog today. Enjoy!
I do the same exact thing. Complete with sizing up my competitors and dashing across the street as the light goes from yellow to red. (And chuckling a little at anyone who got left on the other side…wow, this is bad.)
I approve of Eye of the Tiger for sure but not sure how I feel about only getting partial posts in Google Reader….I know I know wah waaaah.
I was scarred for my life reading that post!! The speed at which I was reading got faster and faster the more hyped up the story got!! Don’t do that to me you cats butt hole! I could’ve passed out it’s so hot!
P.s, which cats butt hole are you? x
Sometimes I catch myself walking so fast that I get a little freaked out. Like I imagine how much it would hurt if my legs got all tripped up with each other and I fell flat on my face. Because, well, I’m kind of clumsy, and I’ve been known to trip myself, fortunately not at high speeds though…yet…
Regardless, I used to walk Washington the exact same way, lady. I had one gear: Haul ASS. And you best watch out if you got in my way!! Ahhh, I miss Washington…
Remind me to meander when I come visit.
And you’ll be all “Fuck I hate this meandering bullshit but she’s VISITING so it would be mean to leave her on the other side of the street and GOD!” Oh yes…I will mess with your head.
Ok, not really because I, too, hate people that walk all slow. In my head I make little sound effects as I pass them. (Vroooooooom!)
I HATE when people walk on the wrong side of the sidewalk/aisle.
I was gonna post about this sometime, but its perfectly appropriate here…Olympic Powerwalking. They actually have power walking racing in the olympics. Look into it, maybe you should join!
i would be sure to leave at the same time/take the same route as you JUST to race you to work EVERY morning. and win.
20 miles a week? Damn.
So I hate comments where people are like “oh you think that’s bad, well this is worse” but this is one. At least in the US people know that you walk on the right, run on the left. In Hong Kong, everything’s all backwards-y (drive on the left side of the street) so nobody has any clue where to walk, so it’s one giant clusterfuck. Not to mention everyone on the road is a tiny old woman who walks negative miles per hour. I absolutely hate it.
I bow to you. I will not walk fast. Ever.
And then there are those fabulous moments where you leap off the curb to get ahead of the lollygaggers and turn the ankle, sprawling in the middle of intersection, latte flying.
Or maybe that’s just me.
Um, yeah, we can’t walk together then because these little legs of mine will not be able to keep up. Read: little, petite.
Unless you give me coffee. I should be good to go then.
i would LOVE to see you and my mom find each other on the streets. because she is ridiculous and seriously can’t handle having anyone pass her. so to see you two go at it-two ladies who don’t want to lose, oh i’d giggle frantically while sitting on the sidelines sipping my starbucks.
This story could only be better if you turned around and told her to suck it.
I follow the same rules at the mall and want to murder people who walk on the left side or stop right outside stores.
Follow the rules, people.
gosh I wish I could walk to work. 7 miles each way is pushing it though.
It really is all about the little victories in life, isnt it?
I think you need to have somebody capture some video of you demonstrating this sort of thing…
On an unrelated note, I used to train with a guy who was also a national speed walking competitor.
That’s awesome on so many levels! you’ve made my day! (note I’ve used 2 exclamation points)
BBD!!!! loves it. go head with your bad self. seriously.
I left a comment on your last post about this subject. As I have mentioned before, I have encountered other people with this weird habit and they never win against me. Because unlike you I am not ashamed to break out in a run or employ other tricks to win. Besides I always know when I’m being challeged to play. Therefore you will never have a headstart on me. Yep this prooves it. I’m a weirdo.
i too, am a fast walker. i get annoyed walking with others, because they poke it along. then I hear at work 10 times a day “whats the rush?” “where you hurrying off to?” “why are you running?” i just walk fast.
i think you did the right thing. And I could totally picture it with the eye of the tiger theme.
we played that in band you know.
marching band.
I remember when I used to walk… like, actually use my legs and go places. That was back during university though — I guess I was walking 20 miles a week too.
Now… well, I sit on my ass like a frickin’ PRO.
Interesting. There is a very similar science to biking. It only really happens at the intersections though. When you stop, inevitably, if there is another cyclist behind you, he/she will pull up to the intersection a few inches in front of you. This can be quite amusing when several cyclists do this. And dangerous, as the last cyclist to arrive to the intersection and, ergo, the one who must pull out in front of the others is usually mid-way into the street getting grazed by automobiles. And yes, I, too, partake in this habit…
A Poison fan AND a competitively fast walker? You very well could be my new hero.
i know the speed walk you speak of. i think if you were ever or are currently a masshole (right here), by nature you gotta have that down.
are you one of the women that wears sneakers with her skirt on the commute?
just wondering:)
competition is the spice of life.
i’m the complete opposite of you. i saunter like it’s no one business. taking my good ‘ol time, why rush? the world can wait for me.
plus the slower i walk the more opportunity to stare at my greatness i give passersby.
they are grateful.
I am a competitive street walker as well, but at this point I would’ve probably taken defeat over breaking out into a sweat. Congrats! Winner winner chicken dinner!
lol
I’ll go way out of my way and walk on the dirt around trees to get past people going too slow on the sidewalk. Stupid? Sure. It works for me.
It’s good to hear you always win through sheer force of physical will. But, maybe you should add distractions as part of your arsenal. Maybe a little call out, ‘oh I thought you were someone else’, etc. Then speed past the f’er.
I do this in my car. Slightly more dangers and less aerobically effective.
I literally laughed out loud the entire time I read this! Awesome.
AND THEN you picked your wedgie! LOL I almost peed in my pants!
I like how you made your move at Mass Ave. Kind of poetic justice for a Masshole. She was probably from the South or something.
I consider myself a Northerner, so I should walk fast, but someone I take my time leisurely. Maybe it’s because my parents are from Southern China.
I am SO right there with you! That’s rad.
Also rad? PRINCESS BRIDE REFERENCES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love that!
I swear we are related, I don’t like to lose at anything. You should have stuck out your tongue at her after you beat her. Childish, yeah but who cares!
I totally read that as “I assessed her peripherals”. I would think that would slow one down some.
I wish that I had reason to walk 20 miles a week…I’m like Sebastian, I just sit on my ass at work all day. Sigh.
hahaha funny! I hate slow walkers! Or people that are slow infront of you and all of the sudden the stop in the middle and start talking to their friends. I want to smack them in the back of their head!
LOL! I now know I am not the only one who does this! I have to be in front so people don’t get in my EFFFIN’ way!!!
Great story
They say that speed walking is the synchronized swimming of the next generation.
I’m not sure what that means, but kudos to you anyway for staying ‘cutting edge.’
We don’t walk here. I live in the Suburbs. We drive gas-guzzling SUVs.
Ridiculous? You’re GD right it is! Hilarious? Abso-fucking-lutely!
I have a thing about being ahead too. My husband and I quit jogging together, because he has the same issue. When you’re not first, you’re last!
Living in Boston, I sure can relate to that. I play the walking game too. A few weeks ago, I stormed down the street, across 6 lanes of traffic and into a bar without missing a beat. I went in and started talking to my boyfriend. That’s when this totally random dude just busts in and yells “THAT was AWESOME!”
I asked what was, and he told me he loved the way I just plowed through everyone, in high heels, and across the street, like I owned the town. I surprised this dude so much that he started hitting on me in front of my man!
This is a much more exciting game when you play it in your car on the highway.
Also, I totally played this game in every class I ever took in college (Silently, in my head, of course. Mostly). You think you can get a better A than me? You can’t.
Except in organic chemistry. I sucked at that.
It’s like our grandparents always tell us, “Winners win. Don’t ever let slow walkers, the handicapped or small children get in the way of your glory.”
What? That was only my grandparents? Whatever. Fast walkers rule the streets like The Lost Boys. Minus the whole blood-sucking and sleeping upside down during the day thing.
my dad has always been a speed walker and therefore he bore three daughters who do the same. I feel your strange triumph and say “congrats”. I wonder if she was aware of this “race”…
As someone who hails from the NYC area, I definitely know of what you speak. I cannot fathom walking slowly – such a waste of time!
Congratulations on your victory.
you can also tell who the other walk-racers are when the won’t wait behind people at a crosswalk, they fill in all the empty places along the curb or step off before the light changes. this is also me. stading on the curb is for wimps. and for when buses come by.
Haha I always feel like I am racing the car next to me, I wonder if they are doing the same. UH yeah I don’t walk. There are a lot of hit and runs on my street so my ass stays in the car!
I always race people who don’t know I’m racing them. One of these days, someone will notice, though. We will rev our engines — er, uh, feet — and I will waste them and they will suffer the shame.
What would you do in a small town where people stroll?
Beat people?
LMAO. The best part is that I know so many people who play the same game. Kudos for winning!
Eye of the Tiger is a fav song of my trainer who likes to play it when she’s going to introduce some new ‘I’m now going to kick-your-ass-put-you-in-pain-move’.
Let’s just say, I’ve learned to hate the song….
Omg, I laughed so much! What a great blog. I’m subscribing for sure to you.
oh god. i do this both walking AND driving. I WILL WALK FASTER THAN YOU, IMPORTANT-LOOKING PERSON ON THE SIDEWALK! and forget about it if i pull up at a red light next to another car. you KNOW i’ll beat you off the starting line. uh… i mean when the light turns. WHATEVER.
Hi! I don’t like thinking of myself as a turd monkey. Something about the whole fecal-matter thing just turns me off. So I’m de-lurking to say two things:
1) I race people around my campus, only up and down hillz n’ shit
2) I think I might love you. Too soon?
The best way to win, it not to let anyone know it’s a competition! I bet with all that walking, I wouldn’t complain about how your legs look either!(he leered..).
20 miles?! that is a lot. I am not very fast, mostly because I am clumsy and keep twisting my feet, in particular when wearing heels, so if I try to go any faster I’ll end up in the hospital. Oh well.
Wow, you must be in shape lady. When I lived in DC the sidewalks were my nemesis. I don’t know how many shoes I had to put down because of a sidewalk crack or grate. Sigh. I come from a family of fast walkers. My Mom hauls ass and we live in Florida.
Haha, I love your choice of theme music!
I had been wondering why some crazy gal had been zipping past me with a slightly awkward gait every morning on the way to work. I just assumed she was busting for a wee.
Hilarious. I want to see you spped walking down the street competing against everyone. It would be hilarious to watch I think.
Glad you won. I knew you had it in you.
Too Funny. I don’t think that could have gotten any better unless you turned around and stuck her tongue out at her.
OHMIGAWD!! Your posts are now truncated in my Google Reader. Oh noes!! Is this an accident? Say it ain’t intentional!
There was a time when I was in a hurry to get everywhere. I even deemed slow walking to be a character flaw. I don’t know what changed, what switch was flipped and/or what did it, but now I am forever in the walk at a reasonable pace camp. I am certain, however, that reasonable people can disagree on what constitutes reasonable.
I want to race you. But not in walking.
Wanna know what?
1) Orgasming
2) Shot taking
3) Being awesome (which is unfair for you because no one has ever beat me in this category for infinity years running)
yoooooooooooooou are amazing. i love racing though. me and the key bridge are besties. i kick some major ass on that no-light freeway.
ahahahahahahaha… this is some shit I would do.
Sarah, TNG: I watch it WHENEVER it is on. Truth.
cavy: You are a champion, my love!
PQ: I used to do 45 mins, now it’s a half hour. It’s the only exercise I really get (other than cough cough), so…
Alana: bamf? Where is my urban dictionary… OH! Why yes, yes I am.
Del-V: I LOVE it! She’ll come around, eventually…
Liebchen: YES! I love it! Victory is so sweet…
Bethie: I just wanted people to click through, but I can change it back. Thoughts, people?
jen-tsk: The Siamese, like Murray, duh!
hannahjustbreathe: Haul ASS is right, my little (clumsy) kindred spirit! I am the biggest klutz.
JAG: You will NOT, bc I will kill you. Or we’ll get segways or something and just be hilarious.
Megan: Amen.
Mr. Condescending: For serious! I would ROCK at that.
SLG: Oh, HELL no! When you come visit it is ON!
K@Blog Goggles: The US ALLEGEDLY recognizes walking on the right… but it doesn’t happen as often as it should and that drives me nutso. I don’t know how you stand it.
Kate: Then you will be trampled! Bahahahaha!
Fearless: *Raises hand* Me too. But it’s totally worth it.
Marie: One red eye, comin up.
amanda: I will fight your mom to the DEATH! I mean, uh…
Narm: Preach! Preach!
Maxie: Maybe you could roller blade.
Matt: A little sad, but very true.
Katie: Hahahaha YAY!!! Go for it, girlie! Hoorah for exclamation points!
Kristen: Dance with me!
Patty Duke: We so need a walk off.
Fizzgig: You are the coolest person I know.
Marissa: Eh, those grazings are just battle scars. Do it!
12minds: Thank you, thank you. *Dances*
brookem: NEVER, EVER EVER. Flats for walking. CUTE ones. Occasionally flips if I’m feeling frisky. But never, EVER sneakers!!!
Deutlich: I thought that was Old Bay. What?
alexa: I am grateful, too, your majesty.
Margarita: Now I’m hungry. Great.
lacochran: Oh, I totally do that. And then they feel like asshats, too. And by asshats I mean look at me funny and back away slowly.
Eric: GENIUS. I shall incorporate this into my playbook…
ifihadtopickfive: But also hilarious.
Court: That was sort of figurative. I do do it a lot, though, so that’s fair.
BMT: I didn’t even realize that! But it totally was Mass Ave. Full circle!
adriana: Love YOU for noticing that!
Blondie: A little “nya nya” would have done her good too. Ha!
tobwot: Kinky… what?
Fidgeting: I do, too, while I’m AT work. Sigh.
Pop Champagne: YES! I almost did to a group of tweens once…
kilax: Thank you, my kindred walker.
moooooog35: Maybe I should start wearing a bathing suit.
Kristina P: You can still race them…
Summer: YES Ricky Bobby!!!
Rebel Mel: That is the BEST STORY EVER. I would tell it every day for the rest of my life if I were you.
shine: Organic chemistry is for the birds. Molecular biology is where it’s at.
What?
Cheddar: Did the Lost Boys dance? Do I get to? Oh wait… I’m thinking of Newsies.
Whitney: She knew something was up. Mainly that I was weird…
Dagny Taggart: Thank you! Where’s my medal?
lustyreader: Oh, hell yes. I will face off with that bus too. Don’t EVEN try to make the turn once my light has changed!
Shelly: It totally relates to cars- I was that way when I had one.
f.B: And it will be GLORIOUS. I’ll make you a plaque.
peterdewolf: Chapel Hill, NC: I owned it.
LMB: Oh man, I would too. Nobody can ruin Survivor for me! I won’t let them!
Eggy Mayers: Welcome! In other news, I HEART YOU. Stick around
Alice: Same diff! And we WILL beat them!
ellabella: Never too soon. Thank you for delurking! Off to stalk you now…
buffalodick: They are my best asset, I’m not going to lie. Although B would undoubtedly vote for my boobs.
Titania: I’ve twisted an ankle approximately 4,529 times. And still I keep going…
Kristin: I’ve put down a shoe or two in my time, as well. It’s always a sad moment, but these sacrifices must be made.
Children 90s: I knew you would
mo.stoneskin: Wave next time, jerk!
Kellie: Come visit and you can set up a lawn chair. I’m always good for a show.
Dolce: Now I wish I had. And made angry eyebrows at her!
CageQueen: Why is it a problem? I’ll change it back if it is…
restaurant refugee: I swear, it’s the Masshole in me. I was just raised this way.
WickedCourtni: I will beat your FACE off at awesomeness!!!
Vittoria: Oooo, with the bridge you have the extra element of danger! Awesome sauce.
irenelikewhoa: Thanks for validating me
Question is:
Did the other tard have a wedgie?
I call that stealth racing. It’s not ridiculous. And I do it all the time – walking, running, biking.
One time I seriously got into it with a (less than in shape) cyclist as I was running on Mass Ave from Dupont to Wisconsin Ave. That stretch is almost entirely uphill. I ran past some middle aged guy on a bike. Apparently this set him off and he pedaled furiously to pass me. But then he eased off and I passed him again. Neither of us signaled to the other that we were, in fact, racing. We repeated the process and I emerged victorious leaving him to pedal home as a cyclist who lost to a runner. Loser.
I have to be honest here.. got a little blog crush on you… always keepin’ me entertained, so blog on!
One of my biggest pet peeves is those ass-hats who walk 4 or 5 abreast looking around like they have never been in a city before.
One of my biggest pet peeves is those ass-hats who walk 4 or 5 abreast looking around like they have never been in a city before.
it took me about 3 glances at that button to realize that it said ‘Win’ and wasn’t the Staples ‘That was Easy’Btn (which I ahve on my desk btw)
i walk wicked fast too lol
I absolutely hate it when people just stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Makes me want to rip their head off. Just sharing!
You’re hilarious!
I dunno, you might be fast, but my husband is the fastest walker I have ever met! Seriously-He zooms past joggers!
If you’re ever up North, I propose a competition! LOL.
wow, I do this too and it makes me crazy when the tourists, new students, snow birds, other out-of-towners come here and do that. What’s only slightly worse is that they do this in their cars since we are not set-up for much walking where I live. Oooo… Don’t get me started on this… I already feel the pangs of rage.
Happy Tuesday
I do this all the time. Although it’s much more dangerous when in a car so I try not to do it then.
Oh man, we probably raced back in the day… Now I walk to my living room and plop down on the couch and work… Tomorrow night, costume karaoke at Sollys?
haha! that was an awesome post. def. would prolly do that too..if i wanted to walk 7 miles to work. eeek.
bahahaha this kills me
i do the saaame thing! i’m all BITCH where do you have to be in such a hurry, huh? like things in your life are more exciting than what i’ve got waiting for me at home? girl, please!
Newsies meets Lost Boys? This is why we’re blog friends. You are a genius – we need to start writing this script now.
If you don’t buy the paper, they bite you and suck your blood. Although I think they can only sell the evening edition, what with the aversion to sunlight, but that will only make the dance numbers that much better.
BUH-RING IT.
hehe you said ‘lollygaggers.’
it’s funny, i have a fairly brisk walking pace as well, though probably not as fast as you (or is it?!) but i never worry about competition here.
what does bug me are people who clog the narrower sidewalks like a piece of human cholesterol, just like those idiots of drive 60 in the fast lane.
lollygaggers.
you won! awesome! she didn’t know who she was dealing with, silly girl, what an amateur.
20 miles? And I’m whining about a little exercise DVD warm up. I am shamed now.
Yet again you win.
LOL, this is hilarious. Love the soundtrack!
I usually read at work on my breaks, so I would rather read the whole post in my reader rather than click through.
WARRIOR. If I even walk half that much, I’ll stop from exhaustion then whine like a baby. Boo.
You are too funny! I wish I was able to walk to work everyday. But I live like 11 miles from work, so that wouldn’t be very fun, now would it?
I can totally imagine that. I think I live that when I walk to and from work.
Um, so when I was a cheerleader a million years ago in high school, we did a routine to Eye of the Tiger. And we thought it rocked.
Cringe.
Also, I still waddle very fast, despite the preg, and I still hate everyone in my way. And sometimes you just have to pick the wedgie.
I walked home every day when I lived/worked in NYC and OMG the tourist annoyance factor was IMMENSE. Fuckers would just stop dead in the middle of the sidewalk, drooling and looking skywards at some unseen fascination, blocking my path. They’d block cross sections, sidewalks, linger in lines like RETARDS and basically get in my way, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. So believe me when I say, I UNDERSTAND, SISTAH!
You did NOT just mention Bell Biv DeVoe.
We are the same person.
A few weeks ago I heard that drum/keyboard beat in a bar and started screaming, “THAT GIRL IS POYYYY SUUUUNNNNN!” before the song even started.
Because I’m cool like that.
Great post, and I totally get the competitive nature. I”m right there with you.
Hahaha – you are HILARIOUS. I used to do that when I was running – try not to let people pass me. Only, I was never the fastest, so I always wound up losing at my own game. ha.
Shortened posts? Don’t even go there. Let’s just say earlier today, when I saw the shortened post, I thought it was a mistake and skipped over it hoping it’d be corrected later. I see you made right of your wrong. Thank you! (BTW, for me, it’s less assuming if I read something on a white background with no color at work – people walking by have no idea what I’m up to – but, read a post on a colorful blog and my secret is a goner!)
To really complete a trifecta of awesome music, you should play “You’re the Best Around” from Karate Kid when you’ve sealed your victory. Next time!
lol
I had a total visual throughout that story
Absolutely nothing wrong with being a competitive walker! A lot of people around here could stand to do the same.
Your fucking weird.
BUT it’ll make it easier to spot you’re weird ass next time I’m in D.C. to say hi – if I can catch up to you.
Let’s have a race. We’ll start at one end of the street, put a beer on the other and see who gets to it first. I get a 10 foot head start because you’re taller than me.
I love your life’s soundtrack. Cutting an album anytime soon?
Wow! I am known to walk fast too but after reading your post, I wouldn’t want to go up against you in a race. I remember I used to walk about 2 miles from work when I lived in San Diego and sometimes I would even just run to get home faster. Music definitely helps too.
Your Rocky scenario was hilarious.
competition makes the world go round!
when i go walking with my mom i definitely assess the “competition” too, i can’t help it.
I would be doing the SAME thing. I’m a pretty fast walker and I HATE when I’m stuck behind some slow person.
Hey – we have one of those that sits at the bus stop. She takes her johns in the alley for business…. Oh wait. Not the same street walker. Sorry, I DID read the rest of your post….
kindred spirits we are…
Why when I was in nursing school and I would need to beat one of the girls on a med math equation I indeed had the Eye of the Tiger in my mind….
That and GI Jane…
I sincerely appreciated your use of lollygagging! And one of my best friends is a Masshole!
i envy you! you must be in great shape.. i miss being a pedestrian
Wait, could you be my daughter? I can make a competition out of ANYTHING! You go, girl! Shoe 'em how it's done!
Hmm, theyre not shortened in my reader! But I do hate when people do that, I have a few blogs I like to read but cant read in my reader…so they just pile up and eventually I might read them, but thats just sooo much effort. And Im lazy like that.
I also didnt know that if someone just read your post in a reader it didnt show up in the stats! You need to enlighten me on all things blog.
I hate fast walkers! Maybe that's why I live in the south…
I like to take my time, and I DEFINITELY dont do fast walking when its hot. If I lived in DC I would arrive at work every morning with a fro and pit stains.
left you an award on my blog
go collect
you deserve it!
(the post publishes tomorrow at noon)
I am scared of street walking. Really.
This is one of the major reasons I am afraid to apply for work in the D.C. area, even though there are an ass-load of postings for the work I do.
boooyah you're my kind of girl. i love to walk fast. i like to basically run people over. i have borderline shoved someone before.
we'll inherit the earth one day.
also – good to know on the reader, i almost shortened mine tonight!
While you are correct that people do click through to post comments, sometimes people don't feel like commenting but want to read your entire post- thus having it all on Google Reader helps keep things efficient.
Luckily you got hundreds of peeps that wanna click through anyways…
Sorry to be confrontational but my sister could take you, especially if it's crowded. She seems to do it with out even trying or with out any general flossing of the anal region. Getting off a crowded tube(Underground rail system in London) with her, she can be at the top of the escalator and out on the streets before I've climbed over my second pensioner. We Brits can be a bit brutal during rush hour + pensioners travel free so are fair game during busy hours. Harsh but fair….
P.S what is a South-i-fied Masshole?
Can you please hook me to the side of you like those little passenger cars on motorcycles … I want to witness this first hand. And I will even wear the goggles. Your welcome.
And OMG I just spelled you're wrong. Please don't judge me.
it annoys me when people who walk slowly block my path. i walk fast too. (are you kidding? have you seen how fast the consultants walk during ward round – less time walking more time with patients, i suppose) i love the exercise but can be pretty challenging. esp when the consultants are tall & fit.
and yay to winning! lol.
Mr. Apron: Other tard?
JFo: "Stealth walking"- I love it!! And congrats. I'm making us medals.
JM: Yesssss thanks love! Will do
SkylersDad: YES. I will Red Rover those people- I don't even CARE.
Julie Q: I almost didn't use it because of that. You are not alone.
Gabby: Share away. This is a safe place.
Hannah: Accepted! I'll be in Mass this August…
DocE: Revel in your pangs of rage! They will fuel you for your walks…
Miss Rosa: I totally used to. Whoops.
Desiree Aubigny: Oh man- send me an email next time! How was it??
Nickie.: 7 miles is too much, for sure.
Courtney: Kindred spirits, we are. Fo shiz.
Cheddar: Quick- we need to copyright this immediately!!! Jazz hands galore!
WickedCourtni: It's already been bur-OUGHTEN.
Dan-E: "Like a piece of human cholesterol"- I just fell in love with you.
Hannah-Lane: Right?? WIN!
Brandy: I'm making a "V" for victory!
Nelle: It goes with everything, doesn't it?
Sarah: Fair enough. Fixed!
Andhari: I want a T shirt that says that. WARRIOR.
Briana: But you'd only have to work for like 3 hours a day! Not your fault your commute is so long…
Kristin: Isn't it awesome?
Lisa: "Sometimes you just have to pick the wedgie." Truer words were never spoken.
Veggie Assassin: Preach!!! I know you feel me! (Up.) (What?)
kim: Can we please have a dance party sometime? PLEEEEZE?
SoMi's Nilsa: I totally get the black & white being less incriminating thing. Fixed!
Karen: Oooooo you are a musical genius! Heading to iTunes…
Hanako66: *Pats self on back*
Zandria: TRUTH. You have it.
Mike: Yesss we can fist-bump!
JoLee: 5 feet. You're feisty.
Sassy Britches: I have been known to make CDs for birthdays…
Michelle: The music TOTALLY makes it! So true.
Caroline: Rowr!
Katelin: Hell to the yeah! It's natural, methinks.
Stephanie: Let's give them all flat tires.
Jules: "Johns in the alley for business" I totally thought you were talking bathroom, there.
JTILII: GI Jane! Hells yeah!
meleah rebeccah: Massholes are good people, under our tough exteriors.
floreta: It's my favorite part of living here, I think.
SMB: Oh, I show. I show with STYLE!
Kristin: I'd already fixed it by then
Let laziness reign!
Krystyna: Half an hour! Can't wait!
justrun: But we'd love to have you…
alissa: WE WILL! And yeah- apparently the peops, they aren't so big on that.
Dmbosstone: Non-commenters are TURD MONKEYS!!!
BlackLOG: A Masshole who went to college in North Carolina and embraced all the Southern-ness it had to offer. I.e., I chilled the fuck out a little.
Shannon: *judge judge judge* KIDDING. Love you.
the girl: I've worked up a sweat, I'm not gonna lie. Better on the way HOME than the way THERE…
Umm..think further North, I'm in Canada.
The cold should make you walk faster though.
Way to go on being the winner! I wish I walked to work…that'd be so nice.
Do you make sure not to carry a really heavey bag then? You should get a fanny pack. Haha! JUST KIDDING. Unless you want to, then totally go for it! (I not so secretly want one).
you are so feraekin hilarious!
Lol…reading this I totally imagined the episode of HIMYM where Lily is chasing down marshalls date looking like a hunch back! : )
Silly Lilu!
I am always impressed when folks pay attention to their stats and stuff. Been blogging x 1 yr and have no clue, really don't care but glad you are not shafting your google reader.
Hi,
just walked (as always, fastttt) into office after lunch and i land on ur blog! vow!
Myself being a fast walker, I can really understand the meaning of competition, especially when very few can beat u! lol
Even me hate people cutting me or walking slowly right in front of me. Hate people climbin stairs so slowly as if the stairs are some kinda mount everest, here in our suburban rail stations.
Anyway, if come down to India and feel like u need a challenger, just ping me! Nothing better that an smile after 'walk the road' victory:)
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