On our roadtrip to the Big Apple, my hoes and I played a little game called “What Super Power Would You Want?”
After much deliberation, I decided that I would like the power to be able to make anyone shit their pants, simply by willing it. Or maybe blinking all Samantha-from-Bewitched style at them, and poof! Guess whose pants are filled with doody?? (Wouldn’t that have been awesome during one of Sarah Palin’s interviews? Actually… it probably would have made them better. So sad.)
But seriously, how fab would that be? Boss is about to fire you… BOOM he shits his pants. Now what, bossman? You gonna fire the person who could tell the entire company what just happened, or shall we just shove this under the rug… literally? And even if it doesn’t work, well hell, at least you got the last shart.
Anyhoo, it was not until yesterday at the dentist’s when I realized that I am actually in possession of a magical super power.
Wait for it…
I am completely immune to novacaine.
Now, I have noticed this power before- many a dentist has tried to do battle with me over a cavity or three, but none of them have ever succeeded in getting me completely numb. As a child, my family dentist told me it took me four times the normal amount of novacaine to be able to fill one without me hanging from the ceiling.
But yesterday was the true test of my power…
The Root Canal.
I tried to warn my adversary, Dr. Olga, and she said she would heed my advice. She said she had pumped me so full of numbing agent, there was not a chance in hell I’d feel that drill. Seeing as she had stuck me with a large needle about five times, I almost believed her.
The second it touched my tooth, I screamed.
Impressed but not yet daunted, she stuck me a few more times, and we were able to begin.
About an hour into the remarkably uncomfortable procedure (ever had your mouth held spread eagle with a rubber dam spider-web thingy for two and a half hours? YEAH… funsies!), I screamed again.
Now in awe of what was clearly a supernatural power, she loaded up another needle and went to town. She stuck the roof of my mouth, my throat… when she was done, I couldn’t feel my right NOSTRIL.
We finally finished up, and I left Dupont Circle unable to feel the right side of my face.
By the time I got home to the Convention Center (about 15 minutes, for my non-DC peoples), I was already back to normal. Nothing a couple Negra Modelos couldn’t fix.
THIS is my super power? I’m like the girl [edit: My darling Ben informs me that this character is transgendered, and upon closer review, I have to wholeheartedly agree] who had “Heart” in Captain Planet. My ability is not cool, or even POWERFUL… it’s just awkward.
So who do I talk to about trading it in for the Shit Yo Pants thing? Jon Voight?
It just seems like he’d be in charge of something like that.
{ 142 comments }
If you used the super power that you wanted on me, the results would be MESSY.
See, I have a super power. I can turn 6 ounces of food into 12 ounces of poo.
Can you imagine what would happen if you and I got into a fight after the all you can eat buffet?
Awesome.
We know my super power. I make perfectly straight men GAAAAAAAAAY.
Anyway.
Your novocaine story reminded me of my brother's surgery last year.
And yes…Jon Voight is in charge of making people shit their pants.
Can't they give you some gas or something?
No, not THAT kind of gas. I'm sure you have plenty of that already. Or was that the kittens farting again, hmmm?
You know the Heart girl is a boy right? No? Well….he's transgendered at least.
My real life super power seems to be the ability to get paper cuts from any surface or material. I'm quite tortured.
Whew man. Snakes alive I can't imagine being immune to dentistry drugs!!! I'm such a wuss already. Go you- props!
I have no idea what I picked as my superhero…do you remember? Man, I need to take my ginko.
Last time I got a filling she has to shoot me up four times. It was not pleasant.
True story: My dentist once shot novacaine too far back in my jaw, and it actually numbed my entire throat…it literally felt like I was suffocating for about 2 hours… yeah…those were clearly two of the worst hours of my entire life…
As far as superpowers, I wish I had the power to make co-workers I hate walk into my CEO's office and start masturbating all over his plaques and pictures with famous people… if that shit does not get them fired, then I am all out of ideas..
I visualize Sarah Palin shitting her pants, throwing her hands up exclaiming woopsy daisy, ya know! and continuing a speech. What a beast
I can make men shit in their pants just by staring at them. It's their own fault for wearing pants.
If you could only make five people shit their pants in public who would it be?
I don't want a super power. I would be very happy with the batmobile. My car is a giant pile of crap. Hey, did you use your super powers on Chevy Moters?
Just the words root canal strikes fear into my heart. Thank goodness my teeth are healthy… yellow but healthy…
I don't know when to stop talking, could that possibly be a super power…. I'm not annoying, I'm a hero!?!?!
Why didn't they just put you all the way under?
The power is yours.
I saw a shirt that a new mom was wearing saying, "I make milk, what's your superpower?". But my tatas are all dried up now, so my 'superpower' is gone.
I'm in the market for a new one. Something flashy with it's own soundtrack when I move!
Ugh. I hate the dentist. I hate going and I hate the person that insists on sticking me all they while trying to make small talk.
Don't they KNOW that their hand is halway down your throat making it impossible to coverse.
Also, it always feels like my nose is runny when I can't feel the one half. I'm so self conscious and sure theres a boogy hanging out.
But the real question is how can you use your super power to save the world?
i think i might be the same way.
i also, however, have a high threshold for pain, so who knows.
i'd want to be able to teleport so i could hang with you bitches all i wanted!!! sounds cliche, but so, so true.
Do you remember that show from the 80's called "Out of this World" where the girl had the father on another planet? I vaguely remember it, but she could put her two fingers together and freeze everything around her, and she could unfreeze whoever she wanted by touching them. That would really come in handy, I think!
Hope your mouth is feeling better!
My staff thinks my superpower is walking in 4 inch heels 16 hours a day.
Unfortunately, I think they might be right.
I've often wondered what John Voight might be good for. I think you've found it.
Oh, and Negra Modelos are nectar of the gods. See how I go to the booze?
I hate the dentist and can't stand pain. I need to go but don't have enough nerve to go. I have a few people you could shit on for me.
I can see your boyfriend now totally throwing out his Novacaine enema he had set up for you.
I've had not one but TWO root canals in the last five years. They're truly horrific. I'd rather go to the freaking gyno than the dentist any day.
i find that vodka with a slice of novacane does the trick. i'm sure your dentist can provide you with some next time
Why do you go to a devil dentist that makes you stay awake for your root canal? Better living through chemistry…put me out and wake me when it is over.
Ouch! I'm sorry, babe. You need my guy, he's awesome! I normally feel pain with dental work, but he's pretty darn good. Don't even feel the needle going in.
That is the most awful power ever! I am scared to death of dental work, so that would not work for me. No way Jose!
No wonder you can drink an entire ocean in one night, you're totally immune to drugs of all kind
In my book, that's an awesome superpower !
If you're not drugged but everyone else around you is, maybe you have a chance to see someone shit their pants. This should of course be talked over with Jon Voight first.
oh my. that sounds downright torturous! mad props to you for sticking it out.
and way to do it up right with the modelos afterward. i like mine with lime flavored salt on the rim….so sooooo good!!! :]
aww, your poor mouth!! I have massive sympathy for you!!!!
Ha! I love you! I actually wrote an essay about why I want to be a superhero and my super power
last year!! A friend of mine writes (is that the right word?) a comic and so I was trying to get a spot in said comic – total fail!
I still have said essay…on my work PC!
I don't do novocaine. Just the gas, pleaseandthankyou. And keep it coming. And my super power is the ability to bleed like a stuck pig for three days straight.
well, there goes that. i'm never going to the dentist. never. if i lose all my teeth, i'll get a grill.
Wow..that much novocaine eh? I've never had it..so I have no clue what the hell would happen to me.
My super-power would be to be invisible so I could float around and watch the dumb pple I know. =D
At least your dentist believed you! My dentist kept sticking the stupid needle in my tongue. I couldn't talk for days, but I could feel every drill in my tooth.
Please tell me your super power isn't contagious…I hate the dentist enough as is.
1) I love Captain Planet. Thanks for the throwback.
2) I always thought the "heart" kid was just a really feminine guy…
3) *No one* would mess with you if you had the ability to make them shit their pants. Safe guard for life.
We are planeteers
You can be one too
'Cuz saving our planet is the thing to do
Looting and polluting is not the way
Hear what Captain Planet has to say
I think your real super power is drinking so soon after a dentist appointment. For an afternoon appointment, I don't drink until dinner time or so, usually 4 hours later. The guilt of ruining the work my dentist did will subside.
I can tolerate much pain. I've taken punches to the head, took a diver into a lead pipe, and kissed a gear shift in a T-bone car accident. Come to think of it, I think it's a family gene as my brother flew out of the car 40 feet in the same accident.
ugh you poor thing that made my stomach turn. i've had a couple times where they haven't given me enough Novocaine.
I wouldn't want the anti-novacaine power, poor girl
!
I hope you have ultra quick speed, too cause once you use the poopy power it's gonna get stinky.
"the last shart" and "Jon Voight".
Awesome.
Ack! Root canals are EVIL. I've had two and I made sure the dentist COMPLETELY numbed my entire face.
Yes. Yes I have had my mouth held spread eagle with a rubber dam spider-web thingy for two and a half hours. I had successfully repressed that memory for twenty years, damn you!!!
By the way, you have received an unsolicited award on my blog. Please drop by and pick it up at your leisure. And please don't misconstrue this as an effort to turn our relationship more physical.
"Shit yo pants" superpower? Um, AWESOME. I would definitely use it. In fact, I probably would have used it on about 50 people in the past month.
That blows. I have that same super power. Works on a lot of other pain meds as well. I tell a dr/dentist and they look at me like I'm some crack head looking for fix.
I did have one dentist who would give me about three or four shots (he thought more would be getting into problems) and then do the speed drill & fill like he was on a game show.
And don't ever let anyone in the ER tell you that any of those drugs made from Tylenol plus something extra work. Red M&Ms have a better chance of giving you cancer than those do of taking any edge off the pain.
Tell em your body rocks it old school – morphine, pharmacutical cocaine, Vicodin.
oh no. i thought my "delayed response to novicaine" story was rough. but immunity is def worse.
oh, and my real life super hero power is an uncanny sense of smell. i have the nose of bloodhound, able to detect far off odors and identify their sources.
You wouldn't happen to be a redhead, would ya? It's been scientifically proven redheads need more anesthesia than their blonde and brunett brothers and sisters.
I hope this is just a dental thing, it'd be a shame if you were immune to epidurals too.
I'm constantly praying to the Tooth Fairy when I go to the dentist that I won't have another cavity. And Novocaine works for me… I can't even imagine how much that must have sucked.
I hate everything to do with the dentist! I always freak the hell out on the "laughing" gas. There's no laughing involved.
My superpower wish list is pretty long. I would love to move things with my mind– including other peoples bowels. haha. My real life superpower is… smiling while being a complete bitch. My husband and kids find it frightening.
Ouch. It's not good to have a superpower like that! I'm glad you survived.
Sorry about the novacaine bit…it has the opposite affect on me. A little bit of numbing and I'm numb up to my eyeballs (literally).
Yeah, not quite as great the shitting pants power, but still impressive. What if you could make people feel like they're all doped up with novacaine and shit their pants just by blinking?
My super power is somehow walking into the most awkward moments. If I could have it my way, though, my cat would be my sidekick, and he would have speech bubbles with his thoughts, like on pop-up video.
Yes, you would hear the pops, too.
Jesus, that's horrifying. I'm with whomever suggested full-on general anaesthesia. Too bad you couldn't make Dr. Olga shit her pants when the needle hit your mouth.
My superpower is not knowing when to fcking stop.
Case in point:
Morning division meeting. Other departments are giving their updates, I'm in the back corner reading your blog and drinking coffee.
Read about pooping on command: coffee shoots out nose. HR guy next to me looks concerned.
Read about numb nostril (great band name, btw): trying to stifle laughter, vein in eye explodes.
Read comments: sh*t my pants a little, conference room ends early. Am local hero, everybody goes home early.
HAH! And ouch. I fucking hate the dentist. Reading this whilst eating my breakfast was not a good idea. Shit and needles and root canals… I'm starting to feel a little queasy. I guess I should have known better: LiLu and breakfast do not mix.
I find it hard to believe you've never had your mouth open for that long…I read your stories, I know B has stamina!
Yeah, you really should talk to Jon Voigt about this, because you got screwed. How do you save the world with immunity to novacaine? Unless the evil villain is a novacaine shooting dentist! I smell a summer blockbuster starring Natalie Portman.
My superpower is the ability to burn myself on command. Yeah, I burned my toe on a light bulb this Christmas. Jealous?
Novacane works on me, it just doesn't kick in until the dentist is almost done… By then, I'm numb to my groin and drooling…
Shit your pants? Don't try it at a rest home, They have a Depends defence…
I'd totally shit myself if I felt the drill for a root canal.
Does that count?
i think i'm the opposite – EXTRA sensitive to novocaine. every time i get it for dental work, i'm numb up to my nose or down my neck for, like, an entire half a day afterwards. it makes me drool a lot, which is way hot.
Oh man! I have the exact same problem..exactly. Same with general anethesia ( did I fucking spell that right? I am not looking it up) as in I like to wake up way too soon with no pain control yet in place.
At least someone else out there knows my struggles.
Oh man! I have the exact same problem..exactly. Same with general anethesia ( did I fucking spell that right? I am not looking it up) as in I like to wake up way too soon with no pain control yet in place.
At least someone else out there knows my struggles.
I effin hate the dentist. I used to want to get out to of there so bad, I would request no novacaine so the process would be sped up.
Your superpower of choice is WAY better than the one you were handed. I mean, unless you're fighting some evil villain who's superpower is Touch Of Novocaine that completely numbs your body – then you'd obviously be the person to call.
Wait, that would be a really good villain. Why hasn't anyone used that yet?!?!!!!
What a crappy super power to have…
OK, yeah, that was lame… Sorry
I want the pant shitting super power too! Mine is that I can make people cry in less than a minute (I'm kind of a bitch)but even that gets boring after a while.
You wouldn't want a super power that makes Christian Bale have sex with you?
I really like Dr. Olga 'cause she decided not to do a root canal on me but that sounds like a wretched experience. Oy. Sorry about that!
My husband has a lame super power like that…..he couldn't be put under for his wisdom tooth extraction. They gave him two sleeping pills to take an hour before surgery…nothing. They gassed him….nothing. He was loopy, but still pretty much aware of what was going on. It freaked me out being in the waiting room hearing him talking in between hearing the mallet pounding down to crush his teeth. Ugh.
Heart was totally a boy… right? I always wanted to be Wind, I thought she was soooo cool. And who didn't have a crush on Fire? Anybody? Anybody? No, that's weird? Huh.
jeez a root canal?!??! how horrid, you must have some good karma coming your way soon after dealing with that.
i had to get 4 baby teeth pulled and that was the last time i had novicane. i got a barbie. negro modelo sounds better.
jeez a root canal?!??! how horrid, you must have some good karma coming your way soon after dealing with that.
i had to get 4 baby teeth pulled and that was the last time i had novicane. i got a barbie. negro modelo sounds better.
…Jon Voight? It just seems like he'd be in charge of something like that.
This made me laugh out loud. It's funny 'cause it's true.
Actor Jon Voight, the master of ceremonies, opened the evening with a series of sharp attacks on Obama, something many Republican leaders have been hesitant to do in light of the president's high approval ratings. …
see more: Jon Voight-video
I totally forgot about the numb nostril effect. I always end up breathing on only one side for like a day. I might be your nemesis because novocaine works great on me. And it never wears off. If only I could absorb the numbness and then shoot it out my nose and numb up other people. That would be awesome. Or from my eyes or something. Possibly shooting things out my nose wouldn't be a great superpower.
Hate Dentists, haven't been since I was seventeen. Surely Christopher Walken would be in charge of the pants shitting powers. Christ, he was scary as fook in Things to do in Denver when your dead and he was in a wheelchair.
I snorted. at the last two lines. s.n.o.r.t.e.d.
How do we become really good friends, LiLu?
Ugh, root canals are the WORST. It's seriously like giving the longest blowjob ever…
Also, I was asked this superhero thing and said I'd be a shapeshifter with a lame name, like "The Shape-Shifter". Boss is about to fire me? Boom! I'm a puppy! Who can fire a puppy?
I can never decide- would I want to be able to read people's minds? That would rock, especially when i found out something i never would have known (i'm incurably nosy). but it seems so limited. if i were invisible, i could watch Nick Hexum shower.
That is a nastily AWESOME superpower.
Mine would have to be panty dropping at will.
I would have the ability to just drop the pants of those whom I wanted to see their parts by willing them to fall.
That and just being awesome with a bowstaff.
I was just telling my sister I want the power of tact & quick wit.
Ever get into a situation where you want to punch someone in the face and because you can't move beyond this thought, you say NOTHING or the wrong thing.
I want to be able just to touch my side and say the most witty, appropriate response to people you want to punch in the face.
no, you are the coolest superhero ever.
making someone shit their pants with your mind is awesome. remember mine – punching people in the face with my mind? yea we'd make one hell of a team. i think we need a cartoon and some spandex.
how did I just see your tweet about this post and you already have 84 comments?!?!? lol . um, yeah…I've been avoiding the dentist for about a year now. The last time I was there I had a root canal. OMG FOREVER with that rubber shit spread open.
My brother isn't affected by novacaine either.
I would want to time travel.
I can't believe we have the same super power! That is crazy. That means that when the evil guy tries to zap us with numbing powers (ZAP! ZOMMPH! BZZZZOWAH!) to make sure we end up poofy (you know, like novacaine makes your face look disfigured for a coupla hours?) and unable to move, or drink anything without dribbling for that matter, we will overcome! We will be able to fight him off! While everyone else goes limp and flops around, we will save them!
Awethome.
I can't believe we have the same super power! That is crazy. That means that when the evil guy tries to zap us with numbing powers (ZAP! ZOMMPH! BZZZZOWAH!) to make sure we end up poofy (you know, like novacaine makes your face look disfigured for a coupla hours?) and unable to move, or drink anything without dribbling for that matter, we will overcome! We will be able to fight him off! While everyone else goes limp and flops around, we will save them!
Awethome.
I sadly share this super power with you, which I found out during a deep scaling and getting fillings. It wore off while I was in the chair and they had to continuously continue to give me additional shots. It sucks… and makes me really nervous about this whole having a baby and epidural thing. I think it's a different class of drugs, but still, I am concerned.
I guess that power wouldn't be quite as good against babies, or elderly incontinet people.
I'm not going to lie, as soon as I read the words "root canal" I stopped reading. I hope it turned out okay.
lol
transgendered girl from captain planet…lolololol
Ow!!!!! I'm actually immune to Novocaine as well so if I have to have something done, I'm going to have to go under. They filled two cavities without the aid of it (well, they tried, it just didn't work).
what you need is a red tuba! a red tuba that makes you shit yourself….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeQBAKKJvBo
(do watch!)
Mike: Ruby Tuesday's. I'll drive.
PQ: There's just something weird about that guy, no?
Fearless: They have been farting up a STORM. Rotten eggs all up in this piece.
Ben: Duly noted (see above). I rewatched and you are totally right.
sarah: No props- I was a little baby and made her give me more every time.
Lemmonex: I can't even remember what Maxie's was… but I'm sure it was vile, aka awesome.
Meatbag: She was very close to doing the same thing to me. At least I only felt like I was half suffocating…
Susan: She would, too. BLECH.
Bananas: Color me impressed. Just not brown.
Mr. C: HMMMM. Whoever's in charge of not giving DC snowdays, the homeless lady in my neighborhood who spits on people , and your mom.
Del-V: I want my lawyer.
Dmbosstone: Whitestrips, my friend. They work miracles.
Desiree: YES!!! See what I can do for you?? I should be a motivational speaker.
66: I'm not sure, and I've never had one done before so I didn't know I should have been. Blah.
Debbi: I kind of want that shirt, appropriate or no (for me), it is HILARIOUS.
sleepyjane: I know! At least stick to "yes" and "no"s!
Dutchess: Of course. Bin Laden facing off with Obama? BOOM, they both shit their pants! And we are all human. Sigh.
cavy: It BETTER be true. I'm seriously going to start a "Bring Caviandra To Me" Fund.
Lexilooo: No, but I am off to youtube it now…
igbyh: That is a helluva super power. I think my limit is like half that long. Depending on who I'm trying to impress
Colby: I ALWAYS go to the booze. What?
Blondie: Don't we all…
mooooog35: And our anniversary is coming up and everything…
hannahjb: I will CRY if I ever need another. AKA make them put me under.
Julie Q: I so should have had a few shots before going in! How did I not think of that…
ifihadtopickfive: Believe me, I will not make this mistake again!
Miss Scorpio: Please to send along his details. I think I need it.
Shannon: Not even Jose can help me now.
Aritza: I'll have my people call his people.
Emily: Now I am going to try to fashion my own lime salt… we shall see how this goes…
jen-tsk: You should totally post that
Kate: I think that's an actual disease…
f.B: So long as it's shiny.
Nickie: The dumb people? What about the sexy people…
liferehab: Your TONGUE??? That, my dear, is what we call a QUACK. Wow.
shine: Don't we all. Sigh.
Liebchen: Right??? I really need to ask Jon about making this happen.
BMT: If it had been a cleaning, I'd be with you. But I needed the self-medication for the pain.
ria: It is a bitch, no?
Lisa Chelle: The "Poopy Power"… and it has a name.
Miss Yvonne: Thank you, my love.
Marie: I will if I ever have to do it again. Ugh.
DouglasDyer: Well look at you getting all schmoopy! Thank you much, my darling!
lovelila: You can't overuse it! They'll catch on to us…
Svaha: What I would give for some of those old school drugs right now… OWIE.
Mb: With our powers combined… we could do something really weird.
FoggyDew: I have auburn highlights? I don't know WHERE it comes from, but you just convinced me to never have babies. B has you to thank.
Stephanie: It was not my best 3 hours, let me tell ya.
Summer: Oh, I have that one mastered as well… it comes in handy!
Cyndy: Me too, my darling. Thanks!
Ronnica: I only wish that were the case for me!
Walter: You, sir, are a GENIUS.
I have always dreamed that being able to fly like Superman would be the coolest. Truth is I want all of his powers. I want to save the world and have Lois Lane beg me for sex. Super Sex!
YES! This is why I don't go to the dentist. They tried to numb me, and they swore I was numb, and I wasn't. It was the worst pain ever. They even had to numb inside of the root of my tooth. It's the worst pain EVER.
Yeah, you got the shaft when they were giving out superpowers. I myself have the power of flight, except my kryptonite is sobriety.
Also, thanks for the Captain Planet flashback.
Unfortunately, I have the novacaine immunity as well. Theres some super duper sulfa based stuff my dentist uses with a special needle that seriously looks like it has a hook on it.
I take a valium before I go in because otherwise my freakish dentist anxieties make me process through the anesthetics too fast.
*blink blink*
Did it work?
Haha
*blink blink*
Anything?
Bwahahahha
*blink blink*
*rumble*
*thrppprprth*
Oh crap, no no no noooooo
Rebel Mel: Now I am JONESING for some pop up video…
Wendy: Though, one could argue that may not have ended well for me…
The Demigod: I love you. WHY DON'T YOU LIVE HERE???
Alanna: "LiLu and Breakfast do not mix": words to live by.
Nikki: Haha! Touche… if only she'd been pulling my hair a little bit. What?
Cheddar: You're like the Michael Scott of the blogoverse! Only without the bacon.
buffalodick: Duly noted, friend. I should probably watch out for the looney bin, too…
Deutlich: Ha! Yes, I believe it does.
Alice: "POUR – SOME – ALICEDROOL – ON – MEEEEEEEEEEEE…" Yeah, baby.
Miss Tricky: Not problem! Super power! It sounds better that way… xoxo
always and never: You, sir, are a CHAMPION.
Jaime: Quick, copyright it!
SkylersDad: HA. You're so punny!
repliderium: We would make a great team. Bodily fluids everywhere!
Kristina P: Well, I sure as hell wouldn't turn it DOWN. But can we make it John Hamm?
Kristin: Thanks, love. It was perfectly dreadful.
Fidgeting: I blacked out when you said "mallet."
erinwalker: I wonder if Fire had a fire crotch… HA!
lustyreader: Was it Alcoholic Barbie? Cause she'd probably share with you.
Dagny Taggart: I know, right? There's just something about the man.
aser: Awesome- thanks for sharing.
Sarah: I dub thee, THE SNOTROCKETER!!!
rubbish: Oooo, I think you're right. Though he may be in charge of the REAL super powers, like invisibility and stuff. You know he's high up on the chain.
Jerrod: A couple bottles of pinot grigio oughta do the trick.
Racquel Valencia: IT REALLY IS. You said it, not me…
verybadcat: I think no on the reading of minds. Then I'd have to find a vampire to love because he's the only one whose mind I couldn't read. YES I am excited for True Blood, why do you ask?
WickedCourtni: Dibs on the nunchucks.
LMB: Quick Wit would be fabulous. I hate pulling the "fish mouth" move at a critical moment like that…
SLG: I am already designing our outfits…
Maegan: I tweet long after I post… when everyone's at work and will see it. I'm tricksy like that
Stephanie: I love your optimism! See, we are glass half full people.
thebestmichelle: I'm sure they're different… you will be better than fine, my love. You will be amazing.
Eric: And you KNOW I need the ability to squelch babies! Crap.
Hillary: That's okay. I totally understand.
Hanako66: Thank Ben for that one
Kim: Hopefully, next time I'll be able to too. Ugh.
JM: How could I not click?? AWESOME SAUCE. Do not abuse the Green Clarinet!
G: Who doesn't want a little Super Sex in their life?
Katie: YES. Welcome to my yesterday. It sucked hairy balls.
TishTash: "You got the shaft" TWSS! And you are WELCOME.
Vanessa: Valium? I am filing that away for next time… genius.
mo.stoneskin: Um, excuse me… and my rumblings… gotta go!
Holy shit.
Being immune to Novocaine isn't a super power, it's a horror movie Wes Craven just hasn't thought up yet.
That sucks ass. I always leave there drooling all over and not even noticing it b/c I'm obviously NOT immune to novocaine.
In other stories, do you ever watch Family Guy? There was an episode where they all got super powers and Meg (the daughter that no one likes) got the power of growing her fingernails really long really fast. You are like Meg. A stupid power to have, but good for a laugh or 2. Of course at your expense unfortunately. Sorry your root canal sucked!
Unfortunately, I share your super power and have had to have 3 root canals. Just like some people have weak enamel (also me), some people's PH balance make it harder for them to be numbed. Of course, that could just be a load of B.S. that my dentist sold me.
You think it's a super power? I think it's a curse. Going to the dentist is bad enough but then having to feel the pain they inflict on you…ahaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
Owie owie ow. As for the superpower you want, that's a pretty powerful one. Impressive.
Maybe you should be asked to be put completely under…the only downside is when you wake up with your pants around your ankles. That's all dentists, right..not just mine?
Ouch and Yikes, but you sure as hell made this ridiculously hilarious.
my super power: I can make anything (within reason) stick to my forehead.
I will prove this next time we hang out.
I too am immune to the numbing agent that is novicane. I used to feel bad about it but now that you tell me it's a super power I feel not so much bad as cheated by the bastard that hands out the superpowers. Really, inability to be numbed isn't going to help with anything.
can I borrow your shit-in-pants power for when I go to court today? I think the judge may need a bit of a….wake up call?
I have the superpower of always being able to come up with a hilarious and timely comment on any blog post.
Fucksticks. It seems to have deserted me on this occasion.
you are crazy! haha.
i highly enjoy your crazy antics.
sucks about the root canal. ughhh.
I heart you and your stories.
I have never known anyone to be immune to that stuff before… I'm the opposite–when they even come near me with that stuff my face is frozen for a week.
Ack, I had a root canal a few months ago and it was a pain in the ass.
I just realize that, if you were a very literal person, you would have to assume by that statement that my teeth are in my asshole. Now, THAT would be an awesome super power. Well, not a power so much as a mutation. I could be one of the X-Men.
I love the dentist. I always leave with really fun drugs..really fun drugs.
My dentist once told me, "There's a difference between pain & pressure!" while refusing to give me more novocaine. When I almost bit her fingers off in my pained frenzy, she thought better of denying me more drugs.
Sorry 'bout your root canal…
wait does that mean you can feel the root canal procedure?? ouchh.
Oh my god that is a really lame super power to have! Sorry to hear about your root canal, I can't even imagine how painful that must have been!!
Making people shit their pants would be fun in some circumstances, you'd have to make sure you're able to control it really well though so you wouldn't make it happen when someone was TOO close to you or anything! Haha
Oh my god that is a really lame super power to have! Sorry to hear about your root canal, I can't even imagine how painful that must have been!!
Making people shit their pants would be fun in some circumstances, you'd have to make sure you're able to control it really well though so you wouldn't make it happen when someone was TOO close to you or anything! Haha
omg that sounds awful! so painful -im sorry! did you read our blogswap today? kim didnt even need a superhero.
Ummm…I may have to have a root canal in my near future and I am FRIGHTENED. This post only made it worse! ha…
Owowowow!
Yay Cap Planet!
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Hells, no. That dentist would have had to knock my ass out cold.
Laughing hysterically because Jon Voight does look like the person who would be in charge of doling out the Pants Shitting powers.
Five days to go. And I KNOW you know what I'm talkin' 'bout.
HAHAHHAHA. that is a HILARIOUS and original super power. haahhahah.
i always wanted to be able to look at anyone and know what was playing on their iPod at that moment.
although the shitting the pants thing would be cool, too.
I had a hand operation today and am still typing — is that my superpower?
The agony! Gah. Ouch, root canal. I'm pretty sure your real super power is going to involve your cats somehow. You'll figure it out, and it's going to be dazzling.
And you're right, it is horrifying that crapping her pants would have made the interviews better. At least it would have counteracted some of the verbal diarrhea!
Dude. It's not considered an immunity if you've already built up an addiction.
I have a superpower…
I can't smell.
I could stand in a huge bowl of shit and the only thing that would bother me is the warmth.
Warm shit is gross.
Oh, LiLu…
If only you could have magically made Dr. Olga shit in her pants during the procedure.
Tiiiieeeght!
Ok,my two super powers are….
Immune to hickeys on the neck.. lol seriously a vampire could suck it and I wouldn't have a mark..
And
I channel some magnetic force that draws emotionally unavailable men to me… yes, that is definitely a force beyond my control.
I LOVED CAPTAIN PLANET!
And I always wondered what the "heart" girl had to do with anything.
for YEARS I've claimed to have the that power! I call it the Twinkie curse. Don't eff with me or with a snap of a finger and an evil eye headed in your direction I will give you diarriah! LOL
i shit my pants today. thanks. what did i ever do to you?
also – i have the same superpower. mega-novacaine AND gas (which i LOVE and want a tank of at home for fun) and i still scream and cry and kick and push. true story.
Dude, novocaine is awesome. And I actually do have quite a bit of dental surgery experience (recently fell and broke off a tooth).
My superpower is that I got my dentist to ask me on a date. Not sure if this will help me pay the ridiculously exorbitant bill, but it's something.
just me: Amen to that. Ugh.
Kellie: I LOVE THAT! And THIS is why you're my e-bffie.
Kristin: Oh lord, I hope I never need another. One was enough…
Brandy: A HORRIFIC curse. Damn you, life!
Lisa: Would you expect anything less from me?
Cameron: I think that's more expensive… but at least there's the happy ending!
rebeccah: I try, my dear. I try.
Maxie: I am holding you to this. The used condom is ready. What?
theblacktulip: Did it work? I sent you some of the power…
Mr. London St: That was pretty good, actually.
amanda: I'm glad someone does!
Shop Girl: If only we could put our powers TOGETHER…
BeckEye: Your teet aren't in your asshole…?
Elizabeth Marie: I got NO drugs. Bullshit!
Sub Sweetheart: What an asshat! I wish you had bitten a finger off.
floreta: YES. And also, YES.
Amber: True. No enclosed spaces, for sure…
alissa: I did! Hilarious!
ChasingParadise: Oooo… I'm sorry! Hopefully you don't have my power.
Sadako: YES!
Jessica: Thank you, love! I might just have to pimp myself out tomorrow (Friday)…
blissfully: Doesn't he?? There's just something about Jon… and congrats!
Constructive Attitude: Original is right.
judgeygirl: Oooo, that would be a cool one.
WendyB: It's about as awesome as mine… aka not.
Elizabeth: You're the only person to comment on the Palin joke. I thought that was gold!
hautepocket: Touche.
JPP: YOU'RE gross. But I love it.
Mr. Apron: See, that's why I like you. You're a THINKER.
LMOXO: Interesting… now I want to bite you to find out. Too much?
adriana: Apparently she's a tranny, for starters. I guess s/he was a pioneer of sorts.
Twinkie: Oh, and I just got some. THANKS.
Claire: Sorry. I blinked wrong.
K @ Blog Goggles: Ooooo… you best be bloggin bout that, girlie!
Ah, what a crappy dentist appointment. I think the novacaine shot is worse than the procedure half the time…
I think you go to Jon Voight when you want bisexual children, not soo much super powers.
eeeeeeep!!!
That is so scary.
So far I've been blessed without ever having a cavity or (eeeep!) root canal. I hope my dental genes of titanium hold up for the rest of my life! (Though I will have to get my wisdom teeth out this year… boo !)
That clip made my day. Captain Planet was my favorite cartoon when I was younger.
Though, I always thought Heart was a boy….
I'm going to assume that somebody has noticed this besides me? I thought Soviet Union was part of Asia? So Captain Planet doesn't include Europe or Antarctica does he? Hmmmm…
And I do believe that Jon Voight is the man who gets things done. Roooowrrrr.
I had my root canal Wednesday and it was actually the easiest dental procedure ever. I didn't feel anything after the numbing magic. (I'm not a super hero.) I have to go back next week though b/c my tooth was too "calcified" for him to finish it in one visit. Doesn't that sound sexy?
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