When I first started this bloggy thing here, I was all, “memes are lame. I’m never doing one.”
Then I got drunk and was hungover one Friday and decided that maybe I could do one, especially if I threw in a little Rick Astley… no one would notice. So I did, and actually, it turned out to be one of my weirdest/favorite posts.
Then one Monday I got lazy and someone challenged me to be even more honest-er than I usually am on here… and I’ve never been one to turn down a CHALLENGE! (Love you, Bill Cosby, you tap-dancing fool.) So, I buckled and did another one.
THEN, a few days ago, my interweb future-BFF C.J. Koster (no, seriously, go read his shiz… now!) tagged me in yet another meme (additional thanks to the fun, amazing and talented Jane and Sevi, who also saw fit to tag my lazy ass).
I was all set to ignore (I keed, I keed), but then I noticed that he had also tagged my hero, Jenny the Bloggess. I got so excited that my name was within 1 internetty inch of hers that I decided to go for the glory.
So, here we have it, folks… my THIRD and probably-not-final meme. And I promise not to say “I won’t do memes anymore.” My word is my bond, a la Hook.
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Waking up to find a kitten curled on my chest. Even if they do fart down my throat sometimes…
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Making fun of people on the street in my head. Like the guy I saw this morning who bent over and his pants had a clear discoloration in the middle of his khakis from YEARS of farting.
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Stand-up comedy, namely, seeing Judah Friedlander live on June 19th at the DC Improv. You should come. (Click the link for a taste of his amazingocity.)
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When B is inebriated and physically can’t go more than 30 seconds without telling me he loves me. Seriously, it’s like the cutest little case of Tourettes.
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FINALLY getting a friend’s new blog template fixed and making them squealishiously happy (meaning, they want to buy me drinks).
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Playing “Would You Rather” chicken with Maxie for four hours on the way home from NYC, making Deutlich and Lemmonex vomit into their Cinnabons all the while.
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Making awesome dance videos with my mob partners in crime, Persivia Panchante, Caviandra Mersinago, and Lunimara Grivonelli. Rinochetta Parinsino here, waiting and very afraid to see what Alexa makes us dance to this weekend… stay tuned.
Okay, this is getting long, so let’s make it five from here on out. Cause I cheat like that.
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Pooped so much I decided to start a diet, just because I felt that skinny afterwards. How’s THAT for special?
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Got sent three lolcats from my Dad, like this one. Because he is that much of a schmoopy dork.
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Realized that my little sister is graduating from college in two weeks and HOLY FUCK I AM OLD.
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Inspired by BWP, admitted publicly that not only do I enjoy Dane Cook’s comedy, I’d probably do him. *Shields face from tomato throwers*
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Cried into my cheerios because I shrunk my used-to-fit-perfectly black pants.
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Sing like Mariah Carey. I know she’s a skeezy cradle-robbin hooker now, but “Always Be My Baby” still gets me every time. *Wakes up from 1995*
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Be as funny as everyone who’s funnier than me. You know who you are.
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Travel to every single country in the whole damn world. Except for Lesotho. Something about it just doesn’t grab me.
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Have a kajillion bajillion dollars. Or at least a banana stand lined with money.
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On that note, BRING BACK ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. At least there is the movie to look forward to… and Year One, which I couldn’t be more excited for.
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Your mom. Just kidding. Unless she’s a tourist in DC and in my way when I am trying to, yanno, get from one place to another like a civilized human being with things to do.
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Sauerkraut. The very smell makes me want to vomit in the hair of whoever is eating that ungodly stuff. Just a heads up, friends…
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Having to “work” in an “office” to “get paid.” It’s for the birds, man, for realsies. One day the world will wake up and just send me checks for being me. I’m kind of like the guy on Jackass, except I don’t get paid. Do I have to go to rehab first? Then do I get my cut?
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Dutch-ovening B. (Oh wait… that’s one of my FAVORITE things. Wrong list.)
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Looking like a (low-class) hooker at work because my T&A finally decided to show UP in a big way so none of my old clothes fit and I spend all my money on booze and cat litter instead of grown-uppy things like “work outfits” and “practical shoes” and “rental insurance.”
(On a related note, p
lease don’t burn my apartment down.)
Phew. There you have it, C.J./Jane/Sevi and anyone else who tagged me that I was dick enough to forget about.
To everyone else… Your turn!
{ 84 comments }
LMAO,Lesotho is so small,you’d miss it if you blinked.
And you’re damn funny,so who do you think is funnier than you?
I love you but I’m not doing this and thank you for not tagging me.
I’ll make sure to bring sauerkraut this Saturday.
I kid! I kid!
Alright, already! Jeez. I’m bringing back the AD DVDs I borrowed.
Oh wait, you probably weren’t talking to me.
Never mind.
BTW, when the US border Barneys ask me why I’m traveling to the US, I am totally telling them that I’m just returning some DVDs I borrowed.
I may or may not see you this weekend.
Me and Mariah, go back like babies with pacifiers. So the Always Be My Baby reference was gold.
I also now want to go listen to some ODB.
You and Maxie make me feel like an old, buttoned up lady. Well done.
Also, thank you for admitting I am funnier than you. You didn’t have to say my name…I know who you meant…
“Pooped so much I decided to start a diet, just because I felt that skinny afterwards. How’s THAT for special?”
LMAO!!!!
dutch-ovening B?
et. al
hahahaha you are too funny, i love it
i want the poop diet too. i need a detox.
My awesome boobs showed up when I was 32. It doesn’t stop, girlie.
Lolcats from your dad, haha. Love Judah Freidlander, so jealous you’re going to see him!
Totally agree w/ you about Dane Cook. Just because you’re loud doesn’t mean your funny. Cute. But not funny. Maybe bang him with ear plugs in.
When I poop a lot I feel like I should diet too! It’s like my body has decided to kick start a diet and lose 3 pounds in one bathroom visit. It’s great!
http://fab.typepad.com/brunette
I often wish I had a banana stand lined with money.
Yeah. I have the Dane Cook thing, too. As well as the aversion to sauerkraut and memes. I cave on occasion, too. Especially when they’re about booze, or wine. Or both.
hahahaha you have a leggings and heels tag.
I’ll make you a brat and sauerkraut sandwich someday.
You will eat it.
We prefer the covered wagon in our household.
Let the record show that I am currently making a list of Mariah Carey songs to download.
Also, I actually liked “Shake It Off”. And “It’s Like That”. And maybe even “Touch My Body”.
Plus she’s a fox.
Dammit I’m a fan.
Wow…we both love Dutch-ovening B.
Maybe this is the wrong time and place to tell you that.
I would still totally do Mariah Carey.
Just so you know.
Dane Cook is hysterical, don’t be ashamed. And I totally thought you meant the band Arrested Development. They should really come back too.
Mariah Carey used to be my idol when I was younger. I remember in third grade making my own Mariah poster because my mom wouldn’t buy me one. I used poster board and my markers, put a big pink heart in the middle. around the pink heart I wrote “Mariah Carey” over and over and over in cursive. I liked one sweet day much better =)
And I hear you on the looking like a low class hooker. I kind of have the opposite. All the clothes that used to fit me are now bags on me because of the weight I lost due to a traumatic situation (it’s sort of sensitive, so if you want the details, comment me with your email address, I’ll fill you in, and I wont publish the addy, obviously!
arrested development may be the greatest tv show ever created of all time. i laugh at least once a week thinking about bob loblaw.
god i love bill cosby.
and dane cook too. no shame.
Yeah, I drove home the other day with all my windows down singing Mariah Carey’s Always Be My Baby at the top of my lungs. From the looks I got, it seems this odd behavior. For 2009.
And there was this one time I went to see dane cook. I smoked on the beach right before hand. I went in and he started his little routine off with talking about wheel of fortune. I was glued immediately. He then had the entire audience yell out “WHEEL – OF – PENIS!”
I didn’t get it, either. But I laughed a lot.
I hate spending my money on work clothes too. They are so boring. I’d rather look like a hooker at work. Plus my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. What? That made perfect sense!
Ewww I hate Sauerkraut. That Year One movie looks hilarious! I love that kid… Boyfriend and I refer to him as George Michael because he will never be anyone else.
Rental insurance is for wussies. Booze and kitty litter is easily replaced anyways.
One time while driving through PA, my ex-girlfriend and I stopped at a restaurant called the Dutch Oven. We were laughing so much they asked us to leave before we were even sat.
And we were drunk as shit.
for the record, I’m STILL scarred from that WYR game of chicken. STILL.
also? that LOLcats made my heart implode when I saw it yesterday cause that kitty looks JUST LIKE TIGER!
Oh. and I love Dane Cook.
There. I said it.
Yes to Arrested Development!
No to kittens farting. EVER.
The wife said Dane Cook is sexy and him being funny makes him hotter too.. (from a very heterosexual point of view on my part). As for Mariah Carey, she looks like a thick hooker with nice teeth. That’s all.
Aside from that, nice list. Something on the things that you like seems to be missing, like.. pooping, farting or digging for gold… no?
One thing I LOVE: my sexy new blog look!
@ Pork Star: “a thick hooker with nice teeth.” I’m dying. And totally using that in the future.
banana stand! i tell people that episode all the time… they think it’s funny, or i’m funny. either way.
I hate sauerkraut.
WTF is a Dutch Oven?
I think that Arrested Development should never stop airing. Until I die.
“Pooped so much I decided to start a diet, just because I felt that skinny afterwards. How’s THAT for special?”
wahahahhahahaha. poop-tastic!
Haha. I love sauerkraut.
First off, why do you make fun of people in your head? It’s much more fun to scream it at them from a moving car.
Favorite thing to do: Drive by bucking. As in chicken. HEY! BUCK BUCK BAWCOCK!
Try it, it’s fun.
I eat sauerkraut straight. Like out of the jar. It’s my favorite. I already spend about 72% of my time farting anyway, so who cares?
does that mean there is still hope for my boobs to get just a lil bigger? I guess I should post pone the breast implants then….
@the girl in stilleto “poop-tastic” adding that to my list!!!
I am a meme virgin. But if I did list eight things I don’t like, I imagine that being sat on by a flatulent feline would be right at number 2. Being sat on by an elephant with chronic diarrhoea would of course be number 1.
Penny: Well, Miss Jenny for one. The others I’m just going to let wonder…
Marie: I WILL vom in your hair. Don’t test me.
Fearless: No, that wasn’t a hint at all… DEAR GOD JASON HOW I MISS YOU!
f.B: We rocked out to that on the road trip to NYC. ROCKED. OUT.
Lemmonex: Make sure you have your pinafore. (What’s a pinafore?)
Girl OAJ: You’re welcome.
floreta: It’s magical, I tell ya.
Kate: I am afraid… they seriously cannot get any bigger, or I won’t know what to do with them. I’ve been a small ta-ta girl all my life.
Children 90s: He’s touring- see if he’s coming near you!
Mb: Oh. I still think he’s funny…
Margarita: I think mine was 5 pounds. It was INCREDIBLE.
Liebchen: The chocolate wouldn’t hurt, either.
Colby: *High fives* There’s not much I won’t do for wine…
Maxie: No doy.
Dr Zibbs: Is that a CHALLENGE???
Kristinan P: I don’t even want to know…
Racquel: Am downloading “Touch My Body” now… and it’s all your fault.
moooooog35: Dutch oven sandwich!!!
Matt: That’s fair. I’d just about still do Sean Connery, if we’re being completely honest.
Dutchess: Oh, Dane… Your douchey ass is loved.
Rebel Mel: I hope you had lots of stickers for that poster. Heading over now, dear…
Lana: About the only redeeming thing Scott Baio has done since CIC.
brookem: I’m going to tap dance my way the next time I go to the bathroom…
shine: We’d get along. Just sayin.
Kellie: It did to me. Should it not have? This is why we’re getting married.
Stephanie: He is and will ALWAYS be George Michael to me.
Mr. Condescending: See, that’s what I told B! And he’s all “well maybe if you didn’t leave the OVEN on”… WTF?
Del-V: Oh, my lord. I don’t think I could have eaten there. Did the food taste like farts?
Deutlich: Get ready for Round 2 of WYR on Saturday…
Miss Rosa: AGREED.
PorkStar: Digging for gold- how could I miss that one!
singlegirl: Yay! I’m so glad.
mylittlebecky: It, AND you, are funny. Most def.
WickedCourtni: Wait. Seriously? You’re joking. You must be joking. But just in case…the girl: Poop-tastic is one of my favorite words.
adriana: Ewwwwwwwwww! *holds nose*
Mike: The only moving car I get in is a cab, which would make that even funnier…
JAG: You’re out of the Mormon wedding.
Violet: Sure… just gain 5 pounds like me
mo.stoneskin: I hereby tag you! Bwa hahaha!
I MET Dane Cook.
And touched him.
LiLu- I went back and re-read you Dane Cook statement. In my close minded mind, I read it as you “do not like him.” Hence my confusing comment. I don’t like his humor, but yea I’d bang him with ear plugs.
i was home sick yesterday. my cat was happy about it as her favorite thing to do is lay on me as i lay on the sofa. all was well with the world until she farted. in my face. it was awful. i immediately thought of you. isn’t that nice?
It’s amazing just how skinny you can feel after taking a big fat dump-a-dump-dump ! lol
Oh. My. God.
Haha! This is another one of your posts that had so much going on it made me kind of dizzy. I’m always impressed with your ability to go in 79 different directions at the same time.
Good work! Love the Arrested Development reference.
I have a stand, a banana, and some money. I guess I should get to linin’?
i have images of maxie spreading grape jelly on her toast in my head. clumpity clump clump!
and i LOVE that you tagged this with “leggings… and heels” because that song is OBVI amazing.
omgosh I can’t wait for AD the movie!! I refused to watch the season finale for the longest time, because I didn’t want it to be over!
I really think you would like my Mom.
I liked this blog. Totally cute
A banana stand with money? I would ask for a genie in a bottle and once I had him I would ask for infinite wishes…oh to dream lol
Starting a diet because you felt skinny after a big dump … That’s def a new one!
I learned so much. I feel so enlightened. Many thanks, ha.
This was…amazing. Ending it on the hooker note? Priceless! Xo
Ooooo, I love memes! They’re even more self-indulgent than blogging normally is—both the reading and writing of them. Fabulous little invention, these memes.
Me next! Me next!
Just so you know, I would totally do Dane Cook too.
I’m totally counting down the months until the AD movie, and can only pray there are pivotal scenes that involve: Franklin, Never Nude denim cut-offs, and the chicken dance. PLEASE.
OMG – Hilarious! I dig your honesty!
Silly cat farts!
Cried into my cheerios because I shrunk my used-to-fit-perfectly black pants. Been there. Done that.
The Kingdom of Lesotho doesn’t grab me either. It just doesn’t sound fun. You know… with the high child labor issues and what not.
Gotta say, I laughed out loud — not once, but twice — when I read about the kitten fart incident.
Once when I saw you Twitter it, and once for the blog post about it.
And now, a third time just now.
Amaaaazing. That’s love right there.
Oh LiLu, how I have missed you! I have been so busy with my own blog crap, starting my business and making sure that the kids stay alive I have been away, too long. I just caught up reading the last week. Loved B’s question and answer post, also so sorry to hear about kitty farts down the throat. Thats what you get for being a nice mommy – take it from one who knows! And thanks so much for the Indian camel ball dance video, like passing a horrible accident I just couldn’t look away. Thanks for stopping by my blog to remind me that you do in fact remember me, you are my very favorite blogger, for realz.
As for todays post I too am also totally embarrassed to admit that I like Dane Cook and would totally hit that shit. (My hubs is barfing as I type) You also forgot to mention Mariah’s total eff you song, Someday. That was the best song (in its day) and if I ever hear it on the radio again you best believe I am turning that shit up and rockin’ out.
My personal meme opinion is that voluntary ones are awesome, tagging sucks. Not because of anything to do with the meme, I am just super lazy and to me it is extra effort I just don’t want to put forth.
See what happens when I don’t visit as often as I should? Super long comments. You know you love it!
TTFN
PQ: JEALOOOUUUUS. So did my sister! Wenches, both of you.
Mb: Forgive me?
regardez moi: Actually, it really did warm my heart. Is that weird?
Aritza: TRUTH.
WickedCourtni: I can’t believe I took your dutch-oven V card. If only I could IRL…
Lisa: I think that’s your nice way of saying I’m a total spaz… I know. I can’t help it.
Eric: Oh, I’m full of them. And yes, yes you should… before it goes up in flames!
cavy: I just vommed a little in my mouth.
Bon Don: It hurt so bad… but there is more! Just a few hours more to come!
LOE: Thanks, darlin! I misses you. My blog likes you too.
Serena: Now I have dirty Christina Augilera in my head. And I kinda like it.
amindinmotown: Lessons here, every day. Usually on poop, farting, and kittens.
Elizabeth Marie: You’d be surprised how many of my posts end on a ‘hooker’ note…
hannahjustbreathe: Do it! I tag you, officially!
Briana: YUMS. *drools*
Karen: I want to go as a Never Nude for Halloween.
Bead Up: You’re new around here. Just wait til TMI Thursday…
Summer: I’m cool with child labor. I just have a lisp. (Kidding…)
Pumpernickel: Murray still laughs when he thinks about it, too.
Kimberly: My love! How I’ve missed you! And long comments are always okay from me, as long as there’s no Haterade in them. XOXO Come back soon!
I love when animals fart down my throat. Why would you say “even though,” as if that’s something that might make the good thing bad?
You is a genius.
i like dane cook, you aren’t alone there. and i did meet him and he is pretty good lookin.
I tagged you with an AWARD…hello!!! I love awards just not the rules that go with them. Rules suck. BTW I love a girl that talks about poop all the time.. its are hard to find them!!! I’m serious, for real!
I know what you mean about having to “work” in an “office” to “get paid”. And I can also relate to being a bit of a corporate whore who wears her bar shirts to work because why would I spend my hard earned cash on something like a BLAZER when I could spend that cash on BOOZE? I mean really. You’ve got to have your priorities straight.
You’d LOVE my mom, even IF she was a tourist IN your way. I promise!
too funny…
Mariah can sing! I don’t blame you for wanting to sing like her.
B saying I love you like tourettes is about the cutest thing I have ever heard…sweet!
Sauerkraut is the nastiest stuff ever!!
I admit it!
I’ve got a blog crush on you Lilu.
There. I said it!
arrested development was basically the best show ever. i was so mad when they cut it off – lets cross our fingers for a non-dissappointing moviie. pretty sure i have an extra s or p in there somewhere…
Day man, a-a-ahhhh.
Fighter of the night man, a-a-ahhh.
You don’t like sauerkraut, ME TOOO..
AND I LOVE IT when you make dance videos and tell innappropriate stories.
Seriously, Lilu, you’re like a big sister I never have
here is why i love you:
1. being old cause our sisters are graduating from college. wtf is up with THAT?!
2. the realization that it is not 1995 (see above) does not stop us from singing mariah’s fantasy album into hairbrushes
3. arrested development, arrested development, arrested development. is that three reasons in one? maybe. who knows, point is, you rock.
and THAT my friend is how you meme.
get your dancing shoes ready! im glad we are going to film it AFTER the picnic, we are all going to need some cups of courage.
I love your videos, makes me feel not so crazy. I don’t feel so old because I remember Bill Cosby, Mariah Carey, Arrested Development.
BeckEye: I swear, it’s like we’re soul mates.
G: Aw, thank you. I try.
Katelin: He is! Is he short? I feel like he’s short.
Lady Jane: My bad! That’s even better!
Alanna: And we DO. *High fives*
Jules: Oh, I can only imagine… I’m sure I would ADORE her.
Caroline: He did it again last night. Tourettes, I swear.
Dr Zibbs: YES!!! My life is complete!
alissa: Oh, it will be awesome. There is no way it won’t be.
Brian: That will be in my head for the rest of the day.
Thank you!
Andhari: If only you weren’t so far away!
Vittoria: Also because of scrunchies and Billy Joel. AWESOME.
alexa: I always have my dancing shoes on. They match my big girl panties.
Blondie: I am an old soul in some ways… I Love Lucy will always be my fave.
I love memes too! Their addicting and great when you’re going through a bloggers’ block.
I’m glad you do because I love reading your answers!
great list!
I would totally do dane too
Oh HELL yeah I’m throwing a tomato at you.
Dane Cook once hit on me at a Rite-Aid. He attempted to make fun of an old lady in line for pharmaceutical attention. Then he gave me a look like I should applaud him and ask for an autograph. He was not funny. Someone had to explain to me afterwards who he was. Vomit.
Now, is a dutch oven the same as a dutch rudder?
It’s cool, no judgement here. I have a thing for being lumped with neat blogggers, too.
FYI – yours is the only one I’ve actually read all the way through. More kitty farting stories, please.
Kitten farts may be “mildly” cute, but having your 10 year old half cat/half fur-covered sack of shit fart in your face when you actually allow him up by your head is a whole new game… then he has the nerve to look at ME all cock-eyed when I yell at him for tainting my breathing space…
And I dropped a turd recently that looked like it was wearing some kind of dragon-scale armor…I have no idea what I ate to cause this anomaly, or if my colon was playing mind-games with me, but I’ve got to say: pretty cool…
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