Since these two little hooker faces have kept B and I awake since 5am every morning since we got them, I’s as tired as a very tired thing. At least they didn’t diarrhea all over the wall last night.
Grace in small things and all that crapola, right?
Anyhoosits, this is therefore going to be a smörgåsbord (I just wanted to say that word, really) of the many things I am delighted with on this fine Friday morning.
Ready, class? Let’s begin.
I hate chain email. HATE. However, as many of them come from my dear mother and other corny-ass relatives, I cannot diplomatically request that they stop, so I grin, bear, and delete. But I will say that every now and then a gem like this one gets through, and it just makes my freaking morning.
“This is exactly why you should always, ALWAYS…twirl once in front of the mirror before leaving the house.”
Lady, you got KLASS comin’ out your ears. (And for everyone who is wondering, NO I do not own a pair of those.)
(Mine are a frowny face. TAKE THAT, WORLD!!!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have absolutely no good reason to post this, other than I thought of it the other day when someone asked me what I had wanted to be “when I grew up” as a child…
My honest answer? Punky Brewster.
Oh, Punky… you ARE the girl that turns my world around.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And finally, a heart-warming anecdote. Every morning I walk through International Square, which is just a quad of green between the busy streets of DC, pockmarked with benches for the homeless to sleep on. This particular quad, however, houses someone very special; The Homeless Trumpeter.
Listen, I don’t know much about trumpeting, but this guy sounds GOOD. And he is there every single day- his trumpet rings out through the square, and always makes my soul a bit lighter. Through the Christmas season, his renditions of “Silent Night” and “White Christmas” about took my breath away. You can’t ask for anything better five minutes before you have to go into work, can you?
Last week I approached the square and felt that something was amiss. I didn’t realize it was the lack of his music ringing out until I saw him in handcuffs, a cop next to him and an angry crowd of Homeless Trumpeter supporters demanding to know his crime. Disturbing the peace, apparently… but for many of us, he WAS a tiny slice of calm in the middle of the morning rush hour hubbub. Unfortunately, The Man was waiting for me and I had to run, but I’ve been devastated each morning since then as I enter the silent square…
Until today. Today, as I neared the quadrant of green that only he makes vibrant, I heard the clear notes of a trumpet resonating through the air. An entirely irrational tear may or may not have sprung to my eye when I saw him on his corner, Louie Armstrong cheeks and all, warming the hearts of us soulless morning commuters once more.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All right, lovers. That’s my feel-good Friday for ya. If you want a feel-good Saturday, you’re going to have to come see me and my DC harem (Lemmonex, Deutlich, and Maxie!) out at the Village Pourhouse in NEW YAWK CITAY!!! More deets are here.
Happy Friday, love turds!
{ 90 comments }
Look at you, being a softie!
And someone else I read posted that underwear picture, but sort of presented it like she took it. I doubted it, but now I know.
Have you seen that Punky is on twitter? Well, Soleil Moon-Freye is…but you know
I kind of hate you guys for meeting up without me.
I was on the Hill last week and “my” homeless guy was no where to be found. I was really worried.
Hooray–road trip. Prepare thyself.
hm. punky brewster. while i liked her, she was a little “too much” for me. I would probably rather be strawberry shortcake or something. Yes…I know she was a cartoon.
have fun in NYC. jerks.
Happy Friday, baby. No mugshots, please!
Glad the homeless trumpeter is back!!! So that’s what the Po Po is wasting there time on in DC, huh???
Ooooh, the Pourhouse. Maybe I’ll see ya there! I don’t usually REMEMBER being there but I happen to visit often.
Also? I’m obsessed with Punky Brewster. I think she should still be famous/popular.
Okay, so I used to follow Soleil Moon Frye on Twitter but she was so disappointingly BORING that I had to unfollow. Sadness.
Also, pretty sure that woman with the smiley underpants did that on purpose. She HAD TO KNOW!
Why did you have to go and post that picture of me in the yellow dress? I like showing my undies through my dresses. It’s super sexy!
Have a great time in NYC and remember, take pictures!
I used to pass that trumpet fella all the time. Sometimes listening to him play was stronger than my morning coffee(s). It woke me up!
What is it with diarrhea tweets? You and 16 Paws had a rough day!
Aw, Punky!
Have fun in NYC!
I always ALWAYS do a twirl – because of things like that. I left my dorm room once for a full day of class, not realizing that my dress was completely see-through. *cringe*
how are you getting to the big apple? i’m on a 430 bus this evening.
My family sends me “cute” forwards. Unfortunately for my wife, my mom sends her ones that she thinks my wife will find “cute”, too.
I mean, I get it. My family is a bunch of fucking retards, but still. Spread your retard germs somewhere else, alright? I don’t call for a reason, you know.
There are no words for the happy panties pictures. Seriously.
I loved Punky! I always wanted to be Rainbow Brite though!
And the Little House girls… *sigh*
I’m glad your little piece of sunshine is back and playing!
haha i heard about that chain mail!! funny.
i LOVE me some punky brewster! i thought she was sooo cool. especially her real name.. soleil moon frye!
I well remember the days of my kitten attacking my legs in the middle of the night, licking my face at 4:30 a.m., nibbling on my fingers when I was trying to fall asleep… They’re cute but exhausting little devils.
Have such fun in NYC!!!! And can people please come to Boston?!
My homeless dude was (maybe still is) at Archives Navy Memorial when I used to work across the street. He always wore a different Redskins jersey, which made me wonder if he was really homeless.
Then again, maybe he was just a hallucination, since it was next door to 701, where I spent many a night leaving not so sober.
That lady definitely should have taken a second look in the mirror. I do love, however, that someone took this photo and now her ass is all over the Internet, ha.
Did you see “The Soloist”? I did earlier this week and that’s somewhat what your anecdote reminds me of.
There’s a dude here in NYC by the entrance to one of the subways inside Penn Station, who is every morning playing one of those wooden flutes. He’s sitting there with a paper cup next to him and just like your trumpeteer, during winter he playes christmas songs and this season he’s been playing a lot “cartoon” music (whatever is called) and long forgotten tv themes from back in the day, makes me smile.
that bit about the trumpeter made my heart constrict
Punky Power!!!!!
OMG, how did I miss the post about the new kittens? They are so cute. I got two at once too (we’re both crazy, apparently), but I wouldn’t have done it any other way. They are so cute together now.
BTW, the diarrhea doesn’t stop. Fun!
I am such a silly soft touch for the trumpeter story. Did you hear in the news when as an experiment all these really famous musicians played in subways and parks like they were merely street musicians and all except one or two people even stopped to listen? They even walked past that hot violinist Joshua Bell! have fun with the kitties
Yay! Happy Friday love turd! (For some reason I love the word turd and I am so ecstatic that you used it today! Immature = yes, but I don’t care!)
aww, i always lusted after punky’s bed! and um, i follow soleil moonfry on twitter. don’t judge.
have so much fun this weekend! i wish i could be there with you kids!
Kristina P: I’ve been known to bring the schmoop from time to time, tis true.
Lexiloo: AM NOW FOLLOWING. Thanks!
Matt: We kind of hate you for not coming…
Lemmonex: I am scared. I am not joking.
Fizzgig: Ooo, Strawberry Shortcake’s a good one! Then you’d smell delicious, too. I bet Soleil smells like patchouli.
Fearless: Promise. (*fingers crossed*)
Lady Jane: I know, WTF? Clearly he’s not bothering anyone if a MOB gathered in his defense.
laurwilk: Oh, definitely come! I can’t promise you’ll remember it this time either, though…
nancypearlwannabe: Hmmm… maybe I won’t follow then. I don’t want my dream shattered!
Marie: Oh, we will… we will.
[F]oxymoron: But in a delicious and soothing way, right?
Sarah: I dunno… poop happens. Some of us just like to write about it.
shine: I know, right? And will do!
Liebchen: I should invest 10 seconds in this, probably…
Mb: We’re driving up tomorrow… early, and with 80s music blaring.
iNDefatigable mjenks: There’s really no out, is there? Short of changing one’s email… hmmm… P.S. “Retard germs” made my day.
Tiffany: Rainbow Brite was BAD ASS. Laura Ingalls, not so much. Sidenote: We should start calling our fathers “Pa.”
floreta: It sounds like a Little Debbie dessert, doesn’t it?
hannahjustbreathe: YES! I am coming for Memorial Day weekend!
thebmt: Who says hallucinations aren’t real?
amindinmotown: I haven’t, but I’ve been told I should… looking forward to it!
PorkStar: Some of them are so awesome, it’s true.
Deutlich: The thought of roadtripping with you makes my heart constrict, both with excitement and just a touch of fear.
LBluca77: FOREVER!!! *fist bump*
Always a Bridesmaid: Are they not the cutest EVER?? It’s crazy right now but I feel so much better being at work knowing they have each other.
Margo: That’s crazy! I never heard about that experiment, but I totally believe it.
Kellie: TURD is right up there with COOCH and SNARF. Love it.
brookem: SO DO I!!! I’ll see you soon, though!
“Disturbing the peace?” Unless he was playing at 2am, then I call bullshit.
Playing a trumpet is not a crime! (Unless you’re bad at it)
Three cheers for diarrhea-free walls!
I’ll drink to that (later).
There is now a smile on my face as I bounced around the room to the Punky Brewster. I know it was before my time but that is the beauty of reruns.
Punky has her own blog! It’s not bad either…
I love Punky! Not why I call my son Punky, but she’s definatly the reason my husband hates that I do!
awww, so sweet
those undies are hilarious
well, at least she’s probably making the world a happier place by smiling with her ass. thanks lady!
i hope i can make it out tomorrow night to meet all you guys!
Ahhh. We had homeless opera singer in my neighborhood. His voice was incredible. He sang in Italian and he always made me smile.
I am certain that the police would not have taken such action own their own. I am certain that some cranky pants with the same vacant soul as Dick Cheney called the police. People like that are the reason that I really hope there is a hell (even if I will be there to for a whole host of reasons) for them suffer.
I know that Trumpeter you speak of and I adore him!
Have fun in NY, I’m actually slightly scared FOR the city. I’ll be in Atlantic City Sat and Sun if you wanna gamble a little.
How dare you make fun of Mrs. Kool Aid?
That yellow dress rocks. I want me an outfit like that, complete with those undies. Hilarious!
I Love Your Swag Babygurl
How will I find you if I manage to work my way down to the Pourhouse tomorrow? I think you should wear that yellow dress.
And speaking of trumpet – I can make a great trumpet sound with my mouth.
I might need to put that on my snapvine.
Kittens are nocturnal, but this can be overcome. For example – have you taken them to bed with you? I don’t mean a foursome with you and B copulating with the kittens — when I first adopted Guy, like, literally, the first night, he was being so loud and noisy I picked him up, brought him to bed, put him under my arm, and went to bed (so, if he was lying on his side – I sleep facing down – my arm came around him and one of his front paws was under my arm, and the other over it).
I don’t know if I suggest that with kittens, but try brinigng them into the bed with you and B … sit them down, pet their cheeks to encourage them to lie down and maybe they’ll follow your example.
Alternatively … earplugs.
There is a homeless lady who sits in the square of this church in DC and draws these amazing pictures. If people would only stop and ask they would probably find out that many of these homeless people having amazing talents. Your story reminds me of that movie that is out right now with Jamie Foxx.
Punky grew up to have great big boobs, so I want to be her when I grow up too. Minus the back pain. Just the hottie part.
chain emails are the worst, and i need to know why friends always get that and it’s family members who don’t. my aunt is notorious for shit like that.
but thanks for the trumpeter story, it totally made me forget that i was annoyed about chain emails
ps. i’ll see you tomorrow, no biting!
I loved Punky Brewster! I always thought she was the cutest little thing…and she’s a friggin’ MILF now! *drool*…sorry…ahem…and yes, I also want to thank you for the trumpeter story. It made my heart constrict, too!
HannahBlue: I’m pretty sure one of the stuck up law offices nearby called on him.
saratogajean: God, what I would do for that drink now.
Kendall: We are kindred spirits, truly.
Kelly: Oh, PLEASE send me the url!!!
Hanako66: I kind of want them.
lucklys: You better!!!
repliderium: Exactly. They are adding BEAUTY to this shit-ass world, dammit!
absentee refugee: I know you’re right- there are fahn-cee law offices and such all over that corner.
JoLee: Oooo… maybe we could detour on the way home…
JFo: Touche, my friend.
SoMi’s Nilsa: If it gets famous enough, I could be her for Halloween.
Tha BossMack: Thanks, I think… let me check my “cool speak thesaurus.”
BeckEye: I will be the one Deutlich is whipping with her riding crop.
Dr Zibbs: Snapvine?
Malnurtured Snay: They did sleep with us last night, and it was adorable… until they started pouncing on our heads at 6am.
Belle: I know! I really want to see it, too. And I’ll be on the lookout for that lady…
Steam Me Up: She truly had everything- even Zack Morris.
Lana: I can’t wait- esp now that I’ve read your blog! We are THE SAME PERSON.
This city needs more trumpeters. And more dancers in Chinatown. Tell me you’ve seen the dude in Chinatown who twirls around with his headphones on. I’m going to dance with him some morning. We’ll be the odd hobo couple. I can’t wait.
punky rocks. i’d be lying if i said
i didn’t own all the box-sets…
I’m jealous, I wish I had a trumpet dude to listen to in the morning… all i get is the sounds of the steel mill and big rigs driving by!
I can’t say that I have much experience with hookers but -
I didn’t know they looked like cute little kittens.
Although reflecting it further, overactive pussy would be an appropriate analogy.
At least her undies matched her outfit!
Your underwear has a frowny face?
I would have thought it would have had one of these:
. .
|
O
..with the hole cut out for the mouth.
Don’t pretend you don’t.
i will always heart punky brewster for sharing the phrase “over the shoulder boulder holder.” have a good trip!
I think I love you………..and Punky Brewster……….and Louis Armstrong. *muaaahhhh*
I knew we were/are meant to be BFFs. I totally wanted to be Punky when I grew up, too. Hence my my Punky figurine sits on every desk I’ve ever had. In honor of you, I posted it on my Photo Friday.
And if not Punky, one day I will tell you where my name comes from. Let’s just say I thought I was supposed to have a friend named Tootie when I was younger. No really, my parents named me after an early 80′s sitcom character.
Oh man. I LOVE that story.
seriously someone needs to tell the lady to find the right size undies, her ass is not even covered. and then to top it off with a smiley face..oh god!
Wow. All I can say is, Wow!
I always LOVED Punky Brewster’s outfits. She was such a spunky Punky.
Thank you for the Punky! I LOVED that show! Punky is the one who taught me that holding up a glass to a closed door will let you hear what’s being said on the other side…provided you speak the same language as Charlie Brown’s teacher.
Hilarious that yellow dress…
Great post.
Thank you so much for visited my blog and left such nice note.
Sorry for haven’t been here sooner, but…
Keep in touch if you feel like it.
xoxo
I saw your tweet about AM the other day, and spit out my wine. HILARIOUS. I was going to reply, but my drunk attention span is .2 seconds and I guess I forgot.
HA HA HOOKERFACE! They are just like their MAMA!
*wink*
a) your kitties are totally fucking adorable, but i know what you mean. my 10 year old cats got me up TWICE last night and you do not even want to know the obsceneties that may or may not have been screamed at 1 and 3am.
b) that asspany lady is is an asspanty lady.
c) punky brewster? i should not make fun, as i wanted to be bj and the bear. hopefully you do not get that reference. old 70′s tv show better left forgotten.
d) so you are an intimidating chick but you can shed a tear? i am the same. so you are cool just like me.
hope you have a great weekend! i always love your blog but am having a tough time keeping up with work, life and blogging! i will always come around back to you.
i wanted to BE johnny carson, but i wanted to DRESS like punky brewster.
~beatrix
Come on – who DOESN’T need a happy butt looking at them?
And I love that you are calling your new kittens hookers!
And then to put Punky in the same post?? Wow. Just wow.
Have a fun Saturday!!
It reminds me of a very old song, one your mother knew too, “and I’ll play if you have the money, or if you’re a friend to me, but the one man band by the quick lunch stand was playing real good for free.” Joni Mitchell, she was the bomb back in the day.
You totally stole smorgasbord from me….tee heee.
A very heart felt story about the trumpeter… but you lost me at Punky Brewster. As soon as I saw that video I had to see how she ended up… and I have to say she’s now pretty hot.
That’s such a sweet story about the trumpter, I’m gald to hear he’s back. I loved Punky. The smiley undies pic is too funny!
Omg the pic LOL
The story about the trumpeter was beautiful
Marissa: Allow me to offer my videotaping/youtube services.
Amandaaa: When are we having a slumber party??
Woolly: He is a little piece of heaven, truly.
Mike: You, my dear, are a GENIUS.
Cyndy: True… which is more than I can say for myself most days!
moooooog35: How long have you been waiting to use that? (They’re pink.)
lustyreader: Except it made me sad because back then, I didn’t have boulders. I had mosquito bites.
SMB: We’re all very similar. We all, um… have sense of humor! And boobs, probably. Louie was a big man.
BEAT: Punky figurine!!! I must have one!
Greta: I always type your name as “Great” first. I don’t think it’s an accident.
Caroline: She is a trainwreck. A big, yellow one.
Thomas: You and me both.
Katie: “Spunky Punky” just sounds wrong…
theblacktulip: Wuh wuh wuh wuh wuh wuh wuh wuh!
The Seeker: Will do
And thanks for stopping over here!
The Northerner: It’s the curse of Gen Y! I have it too.
WickedCourtni: It’s true. B tells me all the time.
drollgirl: Am googling “BJ and the Bear”… and thanks, darling. Likewise!
beatrix: Fair enough. I kind of want to be Conan now.
Jules: Helluva feel good, no? And thanks!
Spellbound: I LOVE Joni Mitchell! I was introduced thanks to Love Actually
Dysfunction Junction: Did you say that recently? It’s a gem, isn’t it?
Dmbosston: Go Soleil!
Cottage Cheese: I’m glad he’s back too.
Miss_Nobody: Thanks, darlin. He is the one who makes it so.
1. That happy face ass= hilarious!
2. Tho she didnt have a family, Punky was surely spunky..gotta love her! : )
3. Some homeless people melt my heart, I just want to give them a home and a good meal…and a beer if they want
Too bad the woman wasn’t wearing underwear with WWJD? (What Would Jesus Do?)
Punky Brewster? Really? Okay…
Hey that could so be a watchmen underwear
Ms. Happy Panties is awesome! At least the smile didn’t have a brown tongue hanging out of its smile lol.
I had the biggest crush on Punky growing up, also a big crush on Jennifer Love Hewitt back when she was on Kids Incorporated.lol
I liked the story about the trumpeter, I guess people take things like that for granted. I wonder who the douche was that called on him for “disturbing the peace” or maybe the cops were on a power trip.
I got the happy pants email too and I laughed for hours and hours! No joke…
Your heart warming story really touched me today – thanks for sharing it. have a great weekend.
I seriously hate the chain email crap too. Gimme substance or keep it to yourself!
I adored Punky Brewster as a child! I loved the theme song and I always wished that I could have a Brandon of my own. I even dressed up once as her for Halloween, really as an excuse to wear mismatched clothes and pigtails.
Thanks for trip down memory lane.
How can you arrest a trumpeteer? That seems very very wrong.
There’s a homeless guy who sometimes wanders through my back alley singing reggae music. I kind of love him.
I was laughing at the picture…
Then felt like a little kid watching the video of Punky Brewster.
Then cried a bit after reading about the Homeless Trumpeter…
This post made me feel like a skitzo.
A happy face on a large ass. The woman has the shebangs goin’on there. Gawd bless her!
Oh my, what’s worse than granny undies? Well, that smiley face undie is pretty bad! lols…
LOL! Love it – Wish I was the one to find that mess, would have been perfect on my site
Also, I hate finals. I just now saw that you were in NYC this weekend. I am now extraordinarily sad *sniff*
wow I can’t believe that lady’s smiley face! Thanks for commenting on my blog. I’m glad I just made your life. shoedazzle is awesome I think. I hope you’ll like it. I’m excited for it anyway.
lol happy panties…
Love the panties…lol
I KNOW THAT GUY.
My other D.C. homeless faves:
*Lady who just rides on Metro all day (it seems, if you were homeless, money could be better spent than on a $5 all day pass) with two trashbags of glitter.
*The lady in Georgetown with many, many signs, yelling at people as they walk by, and EVERY time she saw me she would yell “Archangel!” and attempt to tackle me.
Seriously – once when I was 14, once when I was 17, twice when I was 21.