My weekend, in tidbits… because I am feeling decidedly uncreative today. (Read: still hungover from all the tomfooleries.)
Friday we headed to Adams Mill to celebrate a friend’s birthday. The gorgeous and feisty Deutlich accompanied B and I… WITH the heart-shaped riding crop she had purchased that evening. Needless to say, she was a hit. So was our bootylicious and decidedly spankable dancing that (naturally) ensued.
I fucking love that girl.
Saturday was spent rooting for my UNBELIEVABLY AMAZING AND AWESOME-LICIOUS TAR HEELS!!!!!! Kendall, I think you just might relive my junior year of college when we took the title… I will NEVER forget that night, and I hope it looks JUST like this when it happens for you:
We watched the game at the home of two of my very favorite people in the world, who had bought two BUSHELS of fresh oysters and we roasted them while they regaled us with stories of their hilarious dog, Clifford, who apparently has a penchant for eating, well, EVERYTHING. I watched him eat a couple of oyster shells, a paper towel, some wax paper, and some oysters in the space of an hour, so I was not at all surprised when his owner told us about a trip to the beach last summer…
Clifford decided it would be Great Fun! to drink as much of the ocean as possible. They literally could not get him to stop downing the salt water, no matter how hard they tried (he’s a BIG boy). Finally they just let him have at it, and whatever would be, would be.
Well, what be was that Clifford ended up running up and down the coast… with sea water endlessly spurting out of his ass. No joke, they said it was just continual *spurt* *spurt* *spurt* while he ran along the water, trying to get away from his own painful heiny. I was appalled to find out that there was no video footage of this, as it clearly would have been the number one video on youtube for at least a week. It’s almost better than this kid, the new Rick Astley. No one’s Rick Rolling you, young ginger. Keep those dance moves comin’.
After the game I met up with my stellar babes FlipFlops, Pithy, Katherine, Maxie and Bethie to celebrate Flippy’s 21st birthday. I don’t even know how many Stankey Legg renditions we did for her, but boobs were flying, I pulled out my best (read: most embarrassing) dance moves, Maxie and I got engaged (I can’t WAIT to see that picture)… all in all, I’d say it was a flaming success. I saw the 50 or so pictures Maxie had on her camera the next morning at brunch (where Maxie threatened to poop on me), and apparently Katertot has another 200 or so. I am terrified and overjoyed to see them.
Incidentally, since I missed part of Flippy’s party Saturday for the Heels game, I have insisted on throwing her another shindig this Friday to make up for it. It’s your birthday MONTH, after all, right? Right. If you love her, love me, love booze, or love tomfoolery, shoot me an email for the Whens, Wheres, and Whys of it all. livitluvit at livitluvit dot com
Happy Mother Effing Monday!
{ 63 comments }
that riding crop makes me endlessly happy. Now all I gotta do is use it on my chiropractor and all will be right with the world.
and I freaking love you to PIECES. good grief did I have a good weekend.
*spurt*spurt*spurt HAHA!
apparently oysters aren’t an aphrodisiac for dogs.
Oh yes I remember those days. Going to work Monday morning with the Tequila Flu. Sliding between the sheets just in time for the alarm to sound and off to work still reeking of my alcohol induced weekend.
Thank GAWD no one had digital cameras back in those days
Am jealous. SO JEALOUS. And just think of the pretty patterns that would make on McSteamy’s ass.
He clearly has no idea what he’s missing..
i love deutlich too!! i hope in may when i come visit you guys she whips me with the heart shaped riding crop too.
can we guarantee that to happen?
Sounds fun, though I’m so outside the loop when it comes to any American sports these days that I’m not sure exactly what you’re referring to.
And their poor crazy dog!
Congrats to your Heels.
If my UConn Huskies (the ladies) win the championship and complete an undefeated season, I think I’ll be the only one for hundreds of miles who cares.
@Alexa – IT’S A PROMISE!
Part of me was kinda hoping the Stanky Legg dancing was a bad dream. I’m wee bit askeerd to look at my camera. I distinctly remember trying to nom someone’s face. Yay for booze!
Can’t wait for Friday!
Brunch was SOOOOOOOOO fucking fun. i’d like to say saturday night was too, but I totally don’t remember it.
The engagement still counts though. We’re in this for life.
Okay, so I can I move and hang with you guys? All my friends are couples or marrieds and they are ready for bed at 11 pm…I am serious need of some fun!
Oh, no! Poor Clifford! And least it’s better than my dog eating spaghetti puked onto some passed out guy’s chest at a campout. But, the spurt-spurt makes for a more fun mental image!
And can I just say how the Rick Astley kid is the gift that keeps on giving? I’m laughing hysterically yet again today with that lovely comparison.
MY LANDS. i want – nay, NEED – to go out with you ladies sometime SOON.
also need: someone on whom to use a riding crop. that is hot.
i know it’s impossible, but somehow i keep replaying that dog story with clifford the big red dog as the main character. it is hilARious in my head.
I think it’s time you brought Maxie to Toronto and made an honest woman out of her.
YOu are too much to handle!
I really want a heart shaped crop.
That is all.
I am really, really sorry. But I haven’t, at the first read, noticed that Clifford is a dog, and I thought “LiLu’s friends are a bit odd”.
I need waaaaaaaay more friends with riding crops. Seriously.
Yay Tar Heels! Boyfriend = ridiculously excited… highlight of his life and whatnot.
God that dog story was hilarious.
“bootylicious and decidedly spankable dancing”
Is there any other kind of dancing?
Congrats on your Tar Heels!
Sounds like a fab weekend.
And your Tar Heels haven’t bested my Spartans just yet. We’ll see who’s partying in the streets tonight!
Trust: the engagement photos capture every single emotion of the event. I shed a tear reviewing them! Or maybe that was drool….
Deutlich: We always do, don’t we?
cavy: I dunno, it was kinda sexy… KIDDING
Gladys: But without the cameras, how would we remember that I got engaged and did the Stanky Legg? These things are improtant!
Kali: None at all.
alexa: 100% love. I can’t freaking wait.
K @ Blog Goggles: Don’t worry, just a little college bball. Suffice to say, WE WON!
f.B: I’ll toast them on Wednesday…
pitycomments: That would be MY face. And it was incredibly flattered.
Maxie: Brunch was ridiculous. That would have been the best episode of a reality show EVER if we were taping it. And fucking right- let’s go to Toronto and make this official!
shine: Yes and yes! Hurry on over to DC!
Sassy Britches: I will NEVER get tired of mini-Astley. NEVER.
Alice: See you Friday, love muffin! I can’t wait!
Foodaholic: Me too! That’s all I can think of when they say “Clifford”! I don’t think that book would be children-appropriate, though…
Fearless: Gay pride week is WHEN?
Kristina P: In a good way, right?…
Lemmonex: She told me of the glorious shop. We must go.
Oliveira: Fair enough. I’m actually not surprised at all…
repliderium: It’s a good thing.
Stephanie: Wasn’t it?? It’s so much better in person, too, when you can wave your hands to show the “spurting”…
Liebchen: No, there sure isn’t. And thanks, love! Go Heels!
A Super Girl: We shall see… dum dum dum!
Bethie: Oh, please email now! All of them! I can’t wait!
Hee. My fella and I were at the dog beach this weekend (note: we do not have a dog, but we still like going to the dog beach!) and he was reminiscing about how his childhood dog would bark at the waves until he got frustrated enough to bite them.
But your story is funnier.
Sounds like a fun weekend! Glad you enjoyed yourself, sweets!
DC bloggers are the best! I’m considering moving.
I like that you got engaged. That’s
hot. I hope the rock is huge.
It sounds like you had way too much fun! We closed the bars down Fri and Sat nights, but nothing got too out of control for some reason… unfortunately.
It was still fun though.
Oh to be young and fun again! You make me want to speak things that begin with, “Back in my day…”
If someone could guarantee me a dancin machine like that kid, I’d get pregnant today. Although I feel sorry for his sister, she’s like the Oates to his Hall.
“boobs were flying”. that, coupled with the clifford dog “running away” from his exploding ass has made my early afternoon. um. interesting.
It’s posts like these that make me extremely depressed about not living in DC.
EXTREMELY.
Ooh sounds like loads of fun. And I love the concept of Birthday Month. I’m totally stealing that.
You were a junior when they won it in 2005 … and I was a freshman when they won it in 1993 (oh, how I’ve aged!). Let’s just say there’s nothing quite like celebrating a national championship on Franklin Street!
that poor dog. I drank maybe a half cup of the atlantic on accident once, and I was sick for 24 hours!
ohhh if you know how to do the stanky leg i think you should post video.
How could anyone NOT love a woman who will take a heart-shaped riding crop out to a bar and spank people with it???
wafelenbak: Oh, silly puppies. I love them so!
Kate: Thanks love! You too!
Dolce: PLEASE! We’ll even babysit. Promise!
Amandaaa: It’s enormous. And strawberry flavored. I love it.
Kellie: You need to get your ass to DC and hang with us
Steam Me Up: Seriously, if I know I’d spit out a ginger with those moves, I’d flush my BC down the toilet. Hurry up, stem cell research!
Vittoria: You’re welcome.
BWP: The feeling is mutual. Seriously, what’s so great about Texas, anyhoosits? I HAVE MAXIE!!!
Christy: B is all too familiar with my birthday MONTH. In fact, I might institute a half-birthday month as well!
SoMi’s Nilsa: There really is nothing like it. Well, except Halloween, except that has more Lt. Dangles and less fire.
Fizzgig: http://www.youtube.com/user/LiLusVids You are WELCOME.
Lisa: She is an Ace, that one. An ace.
Props to the Heels for taking out ‘Nova.
Syracuse = nemesis
‘Nova = archenemy (and there’s definitely a decent story to explain it.)
If there is a god Michigan state will win tonight so I don’t have to hear about “Carolina Blue” for the next 6 months from the douche next to me.
I’m sorry, it needs to be done.
ps those videos were hilarious. everyone is gonna be so jealous when I do the stanky leg
Ok, I just had to catch up in reading the past couple of posts…and I just have to say, YOU ARE MY MOST FAVORITE BLOGGER! I love you!
haha you are funny! Glad you had a good weekend
CLIFFORD. boy, i heard about a dog like him. the owner was away, and somehow the dog got into a giant bag of dog food. when the owner came home, the dog had eaten a TON of food from the bag, and he was still going at it. he wouldn’t stop eating. he was eating and shitting at the same time. NARSTY.
Can I request a spanking?
I definitely put UNC in the finals in my bracket… I have them winning it all so lets hope they make it!!!!!!!!!
I see you’re a Tar Heel fan also! I’m hoping to be able to watch the game tonight but since I was late for work today, I may not want to push staying up too late tonight, or there may be a repeat tomorrow morning!
You got such a cool blog–I have referred you to many! Pretty soon you can start advertising, girlfriend.
4 years ago, I was in the Dean Smith center with thousands of other people as we watched the Heels take it home. I then partied on Franklin Street.
And dammit I intend to do it again tonight. And actually be able to drink this time.
OMG! That Clifford story is grossly hilarious.
Glad you had fun. I’m slightly jealous.
If I had a dime for every time I ran across the beach with saltwater spurting out of my 2 hole I would have 56 cents.
Can we expect a repeat of this performance if your Tarheels win this evening?
Deutlich’s curls are just like my daughters.
Spurting dog ass is always funny when it takes place outside. When it happens inside its only funny if you weren’t there and didn’t have to clean or smell it.
We used to just laugh our asses off when we watched our dog take a dump. He made the funniest faces every single time. We’re totally immature so naturally we just can’t help ourselves.
I’m glad I’m not gonna be around when Clifford passes the oyster shells.
AAAAGH I need to move out to the east coast where all the fun is!!!
Just realized you might not be as east as I’m thinking, but we’re bad at geography here in Los Angeles.
Stanky legg your ass to Los Angeles.
Oysters?!?! Are you a balooga whale?!?!
JFo: You don’t need no splaining to me to root for Carolina!
rs27: Whatevski. Also, IN YOUR FACE.
Fizzgig: They are! Now that you’ve had the proper tutorial
Violet: I love you too, babe! You’re the bestest!
AsiaValentina: Sure did! Welcome, and thanks
drollgirl: OH, that is way worse! At least this was just water! Vomitous.
Kate: Yes, of course, and also, definitely.
Sarah, TNG: YEAHHHH Go Heels!
m.j.: I’m not just a fan… I AM a Tar Heel! Go Blue!
Sweet Caroline: Awww, thanks love! You seriously just made my day
theoddduckling: I know you did it right, too.
Twinkie: Join us! The more the merrier…
Narm: Let’s see… that makes it 5 and a shart?
blueviolet: Then your daughter has BEAUTIFUL hair. And yes, probably
Kimberly: Pictures please.
Spellbound: ME TOO.
nicopolitan: DC baby! You know it! And YES, yes you do.
Muppet Soul: I LOVE baluga whales… like Twitter!
I need one of those riding crops. I would like mine to have a lightening bolt on it. Things could get interesting with that sucker.
If this Friday is half as awesome as the five minutes I remember of last weekend, then it’s going to be absolutely AMAZING. See you soon, lovah — and thank you for officially instituting Birthday Month. I’m all for it. Not sure about my liver.
My dog does that too. When she wants to mix it up, she spews on my husband’s feet.
Loves it.
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