Last night the lovely PQ asked, “How was your weekend?”
Simple question, right?
And seeing as it was a three day weekend for me, it should have been freaking marvelous. Instead, it was a goddamn (Easter’s over, right? I can say that now? HA- like I ever stopped! Got you!) roller coaster ride. A glass case of emotion, if you will.
Poor Baxter. This is why we don’t throw burritos out of moving vehicles, people.
B and I spent a deliciously lazy Friday on the couch = wonderful…
Until my brand new computer got the mother effing Conficker worm, because SOMEONE (me) was too lazy to download some FREE freaking antivirus software when she got it a week ago. SOMEONE ELSE (me) also decided to ignore Windows when it tried to “update” said computer, which would probably have prevented the worm as well since Microsoft has known about it for six months. But nooooo, SOMEONE (me) is a freaking idiot and decided not to do any of that and so spent hours downloading the “fix-it” program to her old, barely-working laptop, which she then put on a memory stick, which she THEN had to transfer to the new….
Okay, boring. But you get the point. Lots of owie and anguish for both my head… and my heart. My new computer is my baby and it took me one week to poison her.
I should definitely have kids. Or maybe a plant.
Despite that, we had an a-maz-ing Friday Happy Hour that night (best group ever- you guys seriously rock, and thanks for coming!!!) and my boobs looked great. Who said that? Well, they did.
So that was le awesome, until the next morning when I woke up at 5 am. For the third morning in a row. For reals, peops, this insomnia shiz is killing me. In three days I had a total of like ten hours of sleep. All Saturday I tried to nap, but I’ve never been much of a napper, even with booze, I mean relaxation to help me out.
That evening, B and I attended a fan-fucking-tastic Easter dinner (on Saturday, because we make the rules around here, baby Jesus) with Lemmonex, her Cindarella, and a gaggle of gay men that made my heart warm. I had a blast, but unfortunately I was a freaking zombie on account of NEVER SLEEPING (wait, maybe I’m a vampire? HAWT) and if I was entertaining at all it’s probably because I fell asleep facefirst into the dill butter.
That’s what she said.
That night, I chugged half a bottle of Nyquil and slept like a baby until 10am. So Sunday should have been blissful, right? I was all reborn and shit after that, just like Jeebus.
(*Honk honk*- that’s the bus to hell. I’m driving it.)
I was feeling so damn spiffy I decided to finally do my taxes. And I was feeling all proactive and good about myself (SHUT UP, LAST YEAR I DID THEM ON APRIL 15TH), that is, until I finished.
And owed Uncle Sam $1,000 pieces of my soul.
Or dollars. Either way, NOT GOOD.
So after I cried and attempted to sell my everlasting soul to the devil (for the nineteenth time- he’s not having it anymore), I made an appointment at H&R today and tried to wash away the pain with large doses of cheap champagne.
Also, I did this. Which is probably the thing I am the most proud of accomplishing in the past six months.
Maybe I should work harder at my real job.
Finally, this was my second Sunday with no Eastbound and Down, and even though BWP and I still shout our declarations of love at him on Twitter on the reg, it’s just not the same. I miss you, Kenny. *throws panties* And I would take a shitload of Valtrex for you.
What?
Sigh. At least a fantabulous trip to Charleston is on the horizon. Kbo, please to have a KEG of Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka waiting for me at the airport on Thursday. Kthxbai.
{ 73 comments }
I’m glad that you got THROUGH the weekend, even with its rough spots.
We all have those weekends…Hopefull this will be your last one for a while
I saw the pix from the Happy Hour…I’m jealous of your boobage…and I cannot wait to hang out with you guys on the regular…SEVEN WEEKS!!
You’re going to Charleston…I’m going to a chocolate festival…This will be a good weekend
xoxo
Jesus Christ in a mini skirt…$1k. Not ok. Who can we make pay for this?
Also, you were lovely company. Fear not.
oh fuck, $1,000? im sorry lady, that blows.
you did such a sweet job on the blog design over there! i still need help. we need to talk. and WOO, we get to play in may now and im so effing excited for it. watch out!
I also delayed doing my taxes, largely because a dead-beat former employer decided not to mail my W2 until last week. Fucker.
I, too, also owe the government a lot of money. Four hundred and sixty-six. Bucks, you ask? Pennies, actually.
I imagine your large owed amount is due to your bar-tending employment last year, but you might want to check with your current employer to see what you’ve claimed on your W4. For example, a coworker learned that while he can claim 3 exemptions on his W4, he can only claim one at tax time, and has to repay the rest.
As for me, I’d rather get money back then have to scrounge up the cash. I need to figure out what I did this year that resulted in owing money to the Feds, I think there’s an option to have additional money held back from my paycheck, and I might take that option.
Wow, this is a really long reply when all I wanted to do was write, “Hah! I owe less money than it takes to buy a sandwich!”
Great job on the new page for Fearless! I like it alot. Do you do web design for a living? If you don’t maybe you should, they say if you do what you love then it doesn’t seem like work. Or perhaps theres a side job in it for you to earn some extra cash…..
Sorry your weekend was full of ups and downs, heres hoping today you don’t come down with a case of the Mondays.
Paying taxes suck. I got dinged like that back when I was 18 because an employer didn’t take enough taxes off my paycheques. It hurt, a lot.
Howevah, our little baby does ease the pain, somewhat, yes?
You + me = need a John Daly. Fire fly sweet tea and Lemon Vodka with a dash of lemonade. Umm, thats livin!
Nice job on the site redesign!
I will have lots of Firefly and home made goodies waiting for you two, so no worries there. Just get here so we can start the madness!
(M is sick, may not make it, have you talked to her?)
Uncle Sam was not nice this year.
Not at all.
Cheap champagne! Wonderfully yummy, but just takes the pain and pushes it to the next day. Beautiful blog work over there. City scapes are my absolute favorite.
$1000…shit that sux..but some cheap champagne and hopefully some sweet tea vodka will numb the pain
Tax season again. This should be added to Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall. I’m so glad I never get to do my taxes. The companies I worked for do it for me every year. So, since I hate doing taxes, I should be employed again…which I’m not, at least for the next 23 days.
My sister sticks a yellow sticky note on the computer just so that I won’t forget to update McAfee…
Sorry your weekend ended up being mostly crappy and that virus sounds horrific!
Your blog work over yonder is fab!
(Friday was great)
Can Uncle Sam be bribed? I bet the head of the IRS doesn’t have a Snuggie. You could order another one and have it sent as a peace offering. No way that’s a crime.
Hey, I did my taxes and owed $200! Yay for Obama! Love that guy. Totally helping me out.
Ooooh. Rough weekend.
I spent Friday night forced to watch “Marley and Me” at which point I cried like I was 5 years old and new the belt was coming.
Oh. Look. My masculinity is completely gone.
Thank you, Owen Wilson.
Asshat.
Top that off with 5:00 being considered ‘sleeping in’ when you have children, and you can imagine how thrilled I was on Easter morning to hear my kids looking for eggs at 4:00 a.m.
Made me want to be a Jewish cat person.
Taxes ought to be illegal. Federal tax, state tax, etc. It’s wrong. :p
Hope the week improves. (((hugs))) for the bad weekend!
Nice job on the redesign, and too bad about your baby getting the worm. At least a dingo didn’t eat your baby!
How in God’s name can you owe that much? I live in a socialist country and I actually got money back.
Oh right, I live about $4000 below the poverty line. Right.
I used my “Lush” Urban glass all weekend. It makes all beverages look that much classier. I’m totally bringing it to our recession-style happy hour!
Hoping H&R Block will tell you something different when they rape you for an addition $200+!!!
I made out well this year. Since I was getting laid off from my job at the holding company which is where all the finance people work and felt bad for me I got them done for Free!!! Woohoo!
I was so sad that I had to bail on Friday – I’d have been no fun curled up in the fetal position.
And I’m so sorry about your computer. When I’ve had issues with mine…well, it’s not pretty.
“I was all reborn and shit after that, just like Jeebus.”
LOL. You kill me.
Happy Monday!!
I haven’t gotten a refund since GHW Bush was in office. Of course, I always set it so the IRS gets my money as late as possible.
I have long bouts of insomnia too. 4 hrs a night is good for me, but I occassionally get 6 to 8 in.
UGH that is one grand that is not grand. We get our bad news at 1:30 today – and then I have to take a mid-term. Sorry you had to deal with computer issues, especially during tax weekend. But Fearless in Toronto’s blog looks pretty spiffy!
i just wanted to tell you that every time i click through to your blog led zeppelin is in my head for at least an hour.
that’s all.
Is that the technical term for many gay men? A gaggle? I need to know these things.
Ew yikes! $1000!?!?! I would cry myself to sleep. That blows.
Save a seat for me on that bus to hell b/c I’ll be riding first class.
“*Honk honk*- that’s the bus to hell. I’m driving it.”
So THAT’S what that noise was!
(P.S. Lovely job on the website, and ARRRRRRGGGH about the 1K.)
I call shotty on the bus. And T3′s plus wine makes for an excellent insomnia cocktail…just sayin.
i hate taxes. booo the federal govt. well, booo it taking our money. in other news, since you didn’t compare your letting people get ahead of you on the communion line to jesus’ dying to save christianity…
…while IN the church parking lot
i think that you’re ok. well, maybe not OK, but at least you’ll have company on the way to hell. i think i upgraded to first class yesterday!
ps sorry about the virus (blech) and i hope the sweet tea vodka obliterates the badness.
i feel you on the insomnia thing. i averaged 3-4 hours a day since thursday morning. it blows.
and i’m sorry bout your beautiful new puter
and a vampire would indeed be hawt. haha.
Well, computers and taxes and sleep aside, at least you had some fun this weekend, right?
(Yeah, that was me being all positive and optimistic and shit. I’m really good at it, no?)
I kept screwing with my tax return until it came up with a number I was willing to accept. I really hope no one from the IRS reads your blog.
PQ: The only thing I can think of better than a chocolate festival would be a french fry festival. Mmmm… salty…
Lemmonex: Can it be a school girl's mini skirt?
brookem: Oh, YAY! That is the best Monday news ever! Now I can't wait to come home
Malnurtured Snay: It is from bartending- they took practically zero taxes out. Asshats.
rondamarie: Believe me, these things are on my mind. Someday…
Fearless: Yes, yes it does. It is so badassedly beautiful.
justjp: L-I-V-I-N!
Kristin: Oh no! I haven't- I'll give her a buzz later.
Matt: I would punch him right in the kidney right now. I really would.
Greta: Thank you! I love them too
Lil' Woman: Hopefully… and CHEAPLY.
The Demigoddess: That's a good sister. I have sticky notes EVERYWHERE, which sort of defeats the purpose…
blueviolet: Thanks, love. It is keeping me sane.
Kristina P: Sheesh. I'm sorry you feel my pain!
moooooog35: I heard that if a man watches "How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days," they actually become a woman.
Connie: Thanks, darling. I needed that. *hugs back*
SkylersDad: Silver lining, eh?
Racquel Valencia: I would kill for some socialism right now, if it meant a refund…
flipflops: I'm glad it made it home with you! I was a little worried, seeing as we almost had TOO much fun…
Shelly: Ah, crap. See, this is why I can't decide whether to go or not…
Liebchen: Next time, fo shizzle. You were missed.
Stefanie: I am very speshul. Happy Monday to you!
thebmt: It sucks, don't it? I seriously need to get some meds, but they make me so groggy.
Cyndy: It is spiffy, isn't it? At least there's that. Sigh. Good luck on your midterm!
alexa: I thought I was a stoner at one point, but that was still lost on me…
surviving myself: It seems appropriate, no? Let's ask Doogie. I'm pretty sure he's the authority in these matters.
Kellie: Consider it saved. You can bunk with BWP. I'm pretty sure she'll be on it with us.
Sassy Britches: Thanks re: the website, AND the 1K. Honk honk!
Meghan: Duly noted, and duly noted.
Vittoria: Sweet Tea Vodka can obliterate anything. You had it?
cavy: It seems a lot of us bloggers have insomnia in common… hmm…
Kate: Truth, I sure did. Wait! Your positivity is rubbing off on me! Getitoff getitoff!
ifihadtopickfive: Hopefully H&R can do the same for me… *waves at IRS*
I’m having flashbacks of tax seasons past… I’ve been in the hole before, so I know what a blow it is. So sorry.
Love FiT’s new look. I may have a question or two for you about how you do that and all.
And Friday night? It wasn’t just your boobs looking good, the rest was pretty smokin’ as well.
I am pretty sure I love you.
haha, id love to help your girlfriends! i honestly have no clue where i got all this strength from…if you knew me a year ago, i was a sap.
i guess getting my heart broken for real, really made me grow a pair. =)
glad you made it thru the weekend. and glad you’re taking a trip. damn being poor. lol.
And here I thought only idiots got crapped on by that worm. But, idiots don’t get degrees from the best school in the nation. So, clearly, the disease has spread. Sorry you faced the wrath that is computer STDs. Use protection next time and then you can sleep around as much as you want! =)
holy shit on the taxes. that hurt my heart.
I spent Easter eating Doriots and lamenting Jesus’ death.
So a normal Sunday.
I owe the state for the third year in a row! How is that even possible? effing Maryland bastards.
Just have a gaggle of children and you won’t have to worry about paying taxes again, you’ll be jumping for joy in your refund like me.
You did a great job on that redesign! You got mad skilz yo!
Don’t forget to have the bus to hell stop at my place. I’ll be waiting (with road snacks- I hear it’s a long drive)
Kate CH: It hurts, man. It hurts bad.
FoggyDew: For sure, darlin. And THANK YOU. I needed that today.
WickedCourtni: Well, I’m POSITIVE I love you! So there!
Nickie.: A broken heart will do that. And believe me, if it weren’t for an airline voucher and a place to crash, we wouldn’t be going anywhere.
Nilsa: I know, I know. I’m a total idiot. Do they make condoms for keyboards?
dmb5_libra: Mine too, babe. Mine too.
rs27: I use Cheetos. I think Jesus likes them more.
JoLee: Fuck the police. I mean the government. ALL OF THEM.
Kimberly: I’m headed off to pop one out right now! Surprise, B! And thanks
repliderium: FRESCA, please!
ugggg, I owe $ too:(
glad you had a great holiday…thanks for leading me to your blog:)
Jesus loves it when you drink one Bloody Mary (later texted to a friend as a Bloddy Mary), eight Mimosas, one Bellini, and five beers and then invite a man to come roll around on the floor with you and “get all sweaty,” right?
doesn’t paying taxes jst make u feel old?!?!and responsible and broke!!!
ok probably not the words of sympathy u were looking for but still words of comfort i say lol
you owe $1k to the feds?~?? fuck fuck FUCK!!! i hope there is a mistake and they owe YOU $1k! worst case scenario, i know they take payments. ugh.
and the insomnia thing. another ugh! i know booze makes it so i can’t sleep for shit. not sure if that helps you. and ice cream, soda or tea (or any caffeine) more than several hours before bed is a BAD idea.
sorry if i am sounding like a mom or something. :[
Damn your blog is funny, witty….wholly entertaining!
LOVE IT!
Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka is the SHIT! I f’ing LOVE that stuff!
i took nyquil last night too and it was the first night i’d slept through the night in three weeks. it was magic i tell you, magic.
And did the Easter Bunny skip your house, too? I hear he brings the good little bloggers valium, vodka, and flavored condoms…
Ouch, that sucks. We got money back, but it all went to our stupid house falling apart. Grrrrr.
(And I love the South-i-fied Masshole. That’s me too!)
Poo on taxes!! I have had some bad things happen re:taxes. They are on my shit list!!
LOL, well at least you had an alright happy hour! $1k, whoa, that must hurt. Move to Canada!
http://fab.typepad.com
The IRS raped us with the self-employment tax, so my fiance and I had to pay out the nose too. And I’m out $250 for a new windshield because of some teeny pebble on the highway that the subaru in front of me kicked up. And it looks like we’re going to have to pay a plumber to fix some stuff that we can’t (and we’re even “handy”). What a goddamn week, eh?
When does Eastbound and Down come on again? I finally have HBO! Come on!
I was telling my own bf that I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately… waking up in the middle of the night… when I’ve always been a dead-through-the-night kinda gal, and he said:
“That’s probably because you drink too much wine now that we live together.”
Hmph.
Sorry about Uncle Sam!!! You sure you got all the deductions you could?? What a bummer!!!
OH i hate those worm things. I cant be bugged to update antivirus or anything, I usually let my brother do that.
ps. wooo insomnia, you’re talking to the right person.
Oh gosh. You really do have sleeping problems too :/
Horray for Charleston! I hope you have a blast while you are visiting down this way!
sight redesigning!
You have talents I don’t know about coming out of your ass! Wow.
I would sell my soul right now for some Nyquil!!
Argh! I hate lack of sleep! Your brain not be able to wake up before 9am on weekends.
Hanako66: Thanks for coming by!
shine: YES. Yes he does. He’s a decent fella.
rambles@25: Haha, it’s okay. It DOES make me feel old and responsible… esp because for once, I actually have the money.
drollgirl: I WISH it was a mistake, but alas. I’ll do better next year.
bikramyogachick: Aw, thanks so much! Preesh, truly!
Carrie: I KNOW. That’s the second most exciting reason I’m going to SC this week… after seeing my girl, of course!
Katelin: It is magical! I love that stuff.
Jenni: Ohhhh, DAMN HIM! Maybe I was too naughty this year…
Scary Mommy: There’s quite a few of us out there
Thanks for coming by!
Lady Jane: Mine too. Let’s shit on them together!
Margarita: Don’t tempt me… I have people there.
Cottage Cheese: Exactly- they got me with that too. (Sigh) I wish we owned, but sometimes renting is nice too…
Maxie: Watch them on Demand, hooker! You gots to catch up!
Sarah, TNG: Don’t you hate when they’re right?
insomniaclolita: As long as your bro does it! Trust me, you don’t want that thing. It took me a couple hours to get rid of.
Alana: I sure do. Sigh.
alwaysandnever: You’re in Chas? We should grab a beer!
JPP: That’s exactly where I got it from, actually. (My ass.)
Bon Don: Nectar of the sleepy gods, I swear.
HannahBlue: It’s a bear, truly!
I just started East Bound and Down. I’m only 1 episode in and I love it. A lot.
Oh dear.
what the hell is east bound and down? Must investigate.
Pretty sure the Easter Bunny hates you because of your usage of the word “Jebus”. I’ll look into it.
PS – I’m comment 69.
“I should definitely have kids. Or maybe a plant.” I’m sorry, but this had me completely cracking up
I may have to quote you at some point in my blog. Cheers! ~Aimee
“(*Honk honk*- that’s the bus to hell. I’m driving it.)”
Ha ha ha. All I could think was, I call shotgun!
Hillary: You are in for a ride. A fucking GREAT one.
Muppet Soul: Investigate immediately! And *snort* ha!
Aimee: Please do
And thanks for coming by!
inkpuddle: You got it, lovebug!
good to know i will be surrounded by only the best in hell. i love you more today than yesterday. but darling not as much as tomorrow.
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