Okay. I know I’ve made fun of the Jessie Spano “There’s no time! Zack! There’s never enough TIME!” clip from when she OD’s on caffeine pills. (And by “make fun” I clearly mean “admitted that I will love until the day I die.”)
But honestly? I am totally feeling her right now.
There are so many things I want to do, to read, to experiment with… and I just can NEVER get to it all. It’s never done, there’s always more I could/should be doing. I’m freaking exhausted.
I’ve just never been in this position before… I’ve never had to balance the love of my life, a large group of amazing friends, the Real Job, trying to be healthy and exercise in ANY capacity now that I’m (half of) a Grown Up, AND the bloggy world and interwebbing/webdesign. Oh, yeah, and at some point, I’d like a freaking vacation, please. Which is all well and good, except that it takes Time and Money and those are my two biggest enemies right now.
It’s kind of a lot.
I don’t sleep unless I take something, and I’m groggy the next day if I do. I know it’s from the stress, but I just don’t know how to take a step back. What’s going to give? I already feel like I’m not there nearly enough for my friends- like I’m always saying “Sorry, I can’t,” just because the only thing I have the energy to do is to snuggle up to B on the couch and rot my mind for a while with Gossip Girl. This isn’t me… I’m the girl who’s always down for anything, who’s always ready to go!
I just don’t know how to BALANCE all of this, and it is taking its mother effing toll on me. (SoMi wrote an awesome post about this recently, btw.) I’m trying to figure out how to prioritize an entirely new life, and I don’t know that I’m doing the best job of it. Thinking as a “we” is a whole different ballgame (one that I’ve never really played before), and I keep coming across something else that’s different now.
Jetting off for a weekend to see a friend in LA? Going to the 20SB’s Meetup in Chicago? A new wardrobe of Spring clothes? Those are all hundreds of dollars that I now choose to save so that We can go to back to Costa Rica someday, or visit my family in Spain, or get a puppy, or… well, you get the idea. This whole “different priorities” thing is new for me, and it’s like a new dress that fits, but I still need to get it tailored.
Anyone know a good Life Tailor? I can pay you in Stankey Legg dances or B’s impressions of celebrities.
As my Wii Fit told me so clearly last weekend… “You are UNBALANCED.”
I know, you smartass little machine. I know.
(And because it’s Friday, let me make up for dropping this on you… thank you for bring it into my life, Lemmonex!)
{ 95 comments }
Ohhh, lady, do I ever know how you are feeling!!! I’m the queen of unbalance (despite practicing yoga like it’s my freaking full-time job). And I definitely beat myself up for not being available enough to friends, not writing enough for me, not working hard enough to follow my true passions, not giving enough, etc. etc. But, we’re always our worst critic. The people in your life who truly love you know you’ve got a full plate and then some. They’ll understand if you have to take a step back. And if they don’t, well, screw ‘em.
I don’t think balance finds us one day. I think that one day we choose to simply assess what we can and cannot handle and act accordingly. Of course, always easier said than done!
And I’ll stop before I write an entire blog post in just the comment section…
Jesse Spano was on fire in showgirls.
shes a great actress.
Ahhh…my dear sweet, innocent, LiLu. You’re growing up! Embrace it for what it is…lots of tiredness and stress.
It gets better…hang in there!
I completely feel you on the balancing life in general problem. I feel like there’s never enough time to get things done, and it’s kind of funny because I think of Jessie’s breakdown on Saved by the Bell too, lol.
Also, I’ve BEEN to the zoo that that cute little monkey is at! Not while he was there, obvi, but still.
I’m shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, that you refer to Gossip girl as “rotting your mind”!!! How could you!?
Other than that I totally know how you’re feeling (see my recent blog post endings / tweets!!!). I’m so so tired, but don’t seem to do much other than work, blog, curl up on the couch and have brief catch-ups with friends. Life is a muddle!!
I’m excellent at giving other people advice on their lives and how to sort themselves out – just no good with myself!! You sort mine and I’ll sort yours?
xx
Girl, I feel ya. Last night I passed on some mischievous times with my girls for date night. Because sushi and Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo is too perfect of a night when you are tired.
Don’t you hate growing up?
You’ll find that balance…even if it’s slower than you would like to.
Just remember to take a step back and BREATHE once in a while and don’t forget to take care of you first
I think that this is a part of getting older, and figuring out what things you need and want to make your life more complete. I think the next part is realizing that it’s normal to get to a place where you’re more selective about the things you want to do, and also to feel unbalanced.
I have a feeling we’re just supposed to go with that feeling. Rollercoasters are fun too, right?
Mandatory “Me time”… whatever that might be.
… alternatively …
drop the [f] bomb or the one finger salute on the world of work and go to Costa Rica
I know – it’s so tough going from a care free swinging single lifestyle to becoming an adult with responsibility galore and another person to consider before decisions. I think most people struggle with this. And unfortunately, friendships deteriorate…but you’ll find new ones, or your friends priorities will shift along with yours and you’ll just do things together. At some point soon I’ll bet you’ll be sitting around the house with other people/couples who are saving up to buy a house/get a pet/visit families, and you’ll eating home cooked meals and drinking wine from a box (ha!) and loving it so much more than going out to a bar/getting so drunk you don’t remember making it home. As I said to you when you guest posted for Kate recently – it only gets better. Really, it does. Better and better – transitions are hard, but you’ll love whatever happens next!
Hear you loud and clear. This angst is best solved by the consumption of alcohol, which, I understand, I will be doing WITH YOU tomorrow night. What what!?!
The stress must be contagious- I'm going through the same problem. I've been running the week on 4 hours sleep, not getting back from Work & Rehearsal til 9:30, and falling behind on all my Jack Bauer and Donny Trump.
That's why I need a vacation to work.
At least you can look forward to trips. I find during stressful times you have to focus on a goal and relish it.
I SOOOOO can relate to your feelings. I also struggle with trying to balance work life, social life, personal life, etc. It seems that whenever one area of life is prospering the other areas seems to wither up and die, or are just neglected.
It’s hard being an adult these days….
I prioritize in order of guilt. For me, it’s family, myself, friends, work. I find the less I show up for stuff the more attention I get when I actually do. I call it “making a cameo”.
Sweet Jesus I’m full of myself.
I wish I had the love of my life. Instead I have 4 guys hanging around, but I still feel like all of my options are mediocre for some reason or another. (One is 37 and said “I like to party, you like to party,” and I said, “No I like to sleep.”)
And I feel you on the job thing. I attempt to do things on weeknights, but by about 9 I start thinking “You know, 6:30am is a lot closer than I’d like and I do want to stay employed…I think I’ll go to bed.” Oh well. We’re past the age where we have to see our friends constantly. That’s why we have twitter for pete’s sake.
You could spend the rest of your life looking for perfect “balance” and never achieve it…so just enjoy the moment.
I don’t know what model of Wii Fit you purchased, but mine tells me that I’m attractive, charming and a great dancer. You may have to bang it against a wall a few times before it will admit this to you.
ComPLETEly! It’s definitely the dress that fits but needs a bit of tailoring! And that’s what makes it so confusing. Because you want it, you know it’ll be great, but you’re just not sure you want to shed whatever it is from your past/present life that would allow you to have a perfect fit. This whole quarterlife crisis thing is for the birds.
I don’t believe in balance. I’ll balance shit when I get old (I mean like… 40?)
Sweetie, you’re simply growing up. Mama’s so proud of you.
You need to let go of the guilt and accept there are only 24 hours in a given day. Now take a moment to determine what the big things are and are most important to you. Once you have that sorted out all of the others things will simply fill in, if you will.
Don’t fret. It’s not going to happen overnight. There will be some moments that it seems to miraculously click and then the very next day it will feel as if it all went to hell. Again, don’t worry. Just keep sight of what’s most important.
Hugs!
dude- you just completely summed up my life. This whole being an adult thing kind of sucks. I just want to curl up in the fetal position and have my Mommy take care of me.
When you figure out the answer, PLEASE let me know. I’m counting on you to figure out my life. k thanks! xoxo
I can recommend several really boring history books that will put you to sleep in under three pages so that it’ll take you months to finish them. and the good thing is, you don’t actually have to remember what happens
LiLu,
I went through a very similar thing last year and I SUCKED at getting my life together enough to be able to balance everything I had put on my plate. My problem was that I was entirely unrealistic about what I could reasonably accomplish. It took me a long time, but I eventually found a way to work it out.
Anyway, I still don’t feel qualified to give this kind of advice, but I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone in this struggle.
If you don’t mind me asking, where in Spain is your family from? My dad lived there for many years before he was married (although he’s not from there) and it is one of my absolute favorite places.
As you get older, you’ll learn pleasing others before yourself will make you unhappy.
If you’re happy and make time for you, everything will fall into place.
Make a quick list of absolutely must-haves and put your name at the top of the list. If the list is too long, limit the amount of time that week you’re going to spend doing something.
God I always feel that way. I honestly don’t see how you do keep up with all your blogging and what not. It takes sooo much time and effort!
Friends? Yeah not happening right now. By the time I get home from running at like 7-8, cook dinner, clean up, I’m so wiped I can barely make it to bed.
Even weekends are busy! This whole training thing is getting old….one more month tho. Will I have more time then?? PROBABLY NOT.
PS I need a vacay like, yesterday.
I swear we could be sisters from a different mister!
I’ve been having the same DAMN issues over here! It’s pathetic how much I analyze my life at some point! I had my birthday last week and turned TWENTY NINE! I was all sorts of weird about it too… figuring out how to have friends, family, money, time to do what I want, lose weight… it sucks! And I feel ya on the saving $$$ thing… right now we’re going to chicago in a week, iowa city in 3 weeks, we WANT to go to the blogger meet up, Chicago in May, Lollapalooze in August, AND WE’RE STILL PLANNING THE WEDDING!
Ok… I feel better… least someone else is feelin the same crap miles away!
BTW, Totally did a “shizzzz my man says” thingy… thanks for the idea!
Well, you already know how I feel about this whole balance thing. I think we have to remind ourselves that it’s ok to change and just because things are different doesn’t mean it’s necessarily bad. The wonderful thing about this stage of life is that you have choice. Lots and lots of choice regarding how you want to live your life. Not everyone does. (BTW, thanks for the shout-out!)
Don’t I know about taking on too much and being too busy. I am still checking blogs, emails, work stuff WHILE STUCK AT THE AIRPORT.
Ps, Thanks for the Klonopin, woman. Seems like I am really going to need it.
great post, i have totally been there. do you have dreams about tackling your to do list in your sleep? i was making phone calls, copy and pasting excel cells, ordering coffee, and g-chatting while half-awak half-asleep every night and never got more than a few hours real rest.
That’s something that happens to some or many of us when trying to get used to this adulthood crap. I went through a lot of that in the last year and it messed up with my head pretty bad, on top of disrupting my marriage. Just make sure you know your priorities and follow up on them. I tried and I failed, but I keep trying and this time I won’t fail.
I think we all feel a little “Jessie Spano” every now and again.
Where’s my Zack Morris?
(PS, for the record. You’re doing great. It may seem overwhelming, but from here you look like you’re doing a great job handling everything.)
Balance is something most of us try to achieve without getting bored at the same time.
Always try to take a vacation or mini-break (something cheap and inexpensive) just to break away from the usual routine. It does help.
Walk around with a book on your head.
Duh.
You’re welcome.
hannahjustbreathe: It’s the choosing that I have a problem with… I don’t want to let anything go!
Matt: The best of our generation. Fo shiz.
nothingfancy: I’m trusting you!
Jaxie: I would give ANYTHING to see that monkey! It’s so funny that you think of Jessie, too.
Jen – TSK: True, true. GG is quality programming, I can’t deny it. And DEAL!
Mb: It really is, isn’t it? I LOVE that freaking show. Oh, and B too. Also him.
PQ: I’m trying… I’m trying.
Dagny Taggart: Roller coasters ARE fun… sigh. I’m just a little worn out. But this is normal? That definitely makes me feel better.
[F]oxymoron: I am SO tempted. Seriously.
Christy: I’m halfway there, and I DO like it, it’s just… different. I’ll take your word for it
Bethie: YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! I am so stoked! Can’t wait.
Dmbosstone: I don’t know how you do all that… when I was working two jobs, I was borderline crazy/suicidal!
vazenchick: It really is. (Sigh.) At least you know where I’m coming from.
Racquel Valencia: That’s actually kind of brilliant. I’m totally stealing it.
Just A Girl: What about pete? He’s kind of cute.
Fearless: The dancing jab is COLD.
Sassy Britches: And I wish they would just take it and fly away…
Maxie: Shhhh. I have readers of ALL very, very youthful ages…
Miss Scorpio: “Let go of the guilt” THIS is the key, I know it… I just can’t DO it. Yet. I’m trying! Smooches.
JoLee: Fine. But then you owe me, like, 10 YEARS of free backrubs. Deal?
Dr. H: I actually fall asleep okay. It’s STAYING asleep I can’t do. I’ll keep the books next to the bed, I spose…
Miss Musing: And clearly you didn’t choose to give up blogging, which makes me happy, because I REALLY don’t want to!
My aunt and her fam are actually doing missionary work in Madrid. I want to go visit so badly- I’ve never been!
LMB: I hear you completely. It’s the “limiting the time” I’m having trouble with, but I know I need to try.
Kristin: I don’t see how YOU do it with all the running! You are amazing, love. And I’ll make sure you FEEL like you’re on vacay when we visit!
Miles To Go: I know what you mean… it makes me feel so much better to know I’m not suffering alone! (I am a horrible person…) Can’t wait to read the Shiz!
SoMi’s Nilsa: I’m seriously going to follow your post as my life guide. That’s healthy, right?
Lemmonex: You know I’m always good for a hug and some black market meds.
lustyreader: YES. Yes I do… and then I wake up, and I can’t fall back asleep until I actually get up and DO those things. Agh!
PorkStar: That’s very inspirational… hopefully I can get it right the first time around!
Liebchen: Thank you, so much. That means a lot from someone who knows me IRL! I’m trying
Marie: We’ve got a long weekend in Charleston coming up, thank goodness. Things like that really do make all the difference, don’t they?
moooooog35: What would I do without your magical words of wisdom, for serious?
i hear ya woman. im right there with you. keep piling stuff on my plate and not really taking stuff off.
i need a vacation and a stiff cocktail or seven.
I just saw your turn monkey comment. I don’t want to be a turd monkey!
And I need to get some sleep too.
I’ve found that many won’t take dances as payment nowadays. A sack of potatoes, ala “To Kill a Mockingbird”, maybe, but no dancing.
Somehow you’ll find a way. Priorities are part of life.
tell me about it! i feel like the only time i actually have time for is school, which makes for real sucky priorities. i don’t really have the energy to work out, see family/friends, travel, cook, learn Italian, have babies.
although i haven’t, i can’t say i haven’t considered caffeine pills or Adderall or something…
Oh Lilu, I could walk you through the whole thing but you would still feel this way. Honey it is all perception. You learn as you grow to look at things differently and a peace comes over you. The stress starts to fade away and you begin to move in a different direction.
Ach, stop being a bluddy worry wart!
Yer buddies will still be yer buddies.
The Vacations will come along…eventually.
Money? As long as ye have enough fer wine and beer yer fine darlin!
Just kick back and ENJOY you and B.
I promise everything else will fall into place, just takes a while.
Hugs F xxxx
P.S.
How the FECK did you get yer hands on my Baby Video? Has my mum been doing her back market thing AGAIN?
LOL
All I can say is, I want that monkey.
That is my only advice. Sorry, I suck.
And happy Friday. A few drinks always takes the stress right out of me and I sleep like a baby.
Start with the sleep part of balancing your life. That’s the most important thing because, if you’re feeling crappy, nothing else will be fun and life will blow monkey chunks.
Once you’re getting enough sleep, figure out the important things and work on those. Everything else is window dressing.
Yup, being an adult is sticky stuff sometimes. I know this sounds ridiculous, but sometimes you have to start prioritizing your priorities. And learn how not to feel obligated. Lastly, the friends who are really your friends will understand that you can’t hang out with them all the time. They will be happy to see you whenever you can all get together. Focus on the people you care about most, and please, please start with yourself, even if it means not blogging every day. Oh, and talk to your doctor about the fact that you can’t sleep. For me? Please?
i have so very, very been there. i’m with foggydew, though – #1 priority is sleep. maybe see a doc and get something better, that won’t leave you as groggy? once i’m rested, i’m usually less stressed, calmer, and able to make better decisions for myself. i hope things calm down
I used to love my little made up “cocktails”.
I cannot wait to indulge in them again.
I get into those phases sometimes — think of it as a part of being grown up. It’s overwhelming, but usually temporary. Things and plans will die down, then you will wish you were booked again, and when you don’t have one minute for yourself, you will wish for quiet time yet again.
It’s hard. And I don’t do a great job of it, something always gives. But as long as you’re not always giving up the same thing, you’ll be ok.
Seriously. Did you plant a bug/wire in my bag on Tuesday? I took hours of Miss Bianca’s time this week telling a story just like this.
Anyway, I get it. And don’t trust that Wii. It also told normal 7 year-olds they were obese.
I’ll pay for your trip to LA. By pay I mean give you a high five when you show up.
brookem: I *so* wish I was going to be with you ladies this weekend! Sigh.
Kristina P: You are most definitely NOT a turd monkey, you excellent commenter you!
thebmt: True nuff. I guess I’d better get it sorted out, huh?
JudgeyGirl: Seriously. How great would it be to just, I don’t know, take a cooking lesson?
Gladys: I know you’re right and it is all perception… I’m just trying to find the right one.
fiona: You’re right. Thanks for the kick in the ass. I think that’s actually what I needed. And you were a DAMN cute baby!
Kellie: Me too. And drinks are already in order for the evening. It is sage advice- don’t knock it!
FoggyDew: I know, I know. I need to get some real sleeping pills and stop using booze/Nyquil/Tylenol PM/having B hit me over the head with blunt instruments.
Kate: I tried, but he didn’t want to give me sleeping pills because it’s caused by anxiety… and I don’t want to be on anti-anxiety pills. We are at an impasse.
Alice: If I can convince him to give me something better, I think that’s the best solution… we shall see!
Dolce: It’s true, they do help. I’ll have one for you tonight…
Beach Bum: I think you’re right- especially about it not always being the same thing. If it was, I’d know what to cut!
f.B: We are as one!
rs27: Now if only my GBF in West Hollywood would kick in some spirit fingers, I’m almost there!
Nice Saved By The Bell reference! I think that whenever we have alot of changes going on in our lives we all can feel unbalanced. Don’t worry in a short while you’ll have it figured out again and be ready rock the party until the next life change hits ya! Being a grown up can suck the big one sometimes.
Um, so jealous about your Wii Fit. One of my many things on my to do list is get one of these things and maybe actually use it.
As long as there’s time for MONKEEEEEEYS, you’re doing something right!
I always find myself teetering.
Work, school, husband, kids… wanting to have a life of simply exercise, party, write, edit and publish my book…
Blah.
Why cant we just get a check every month and then spend the time that we are wasting time at these bullshit jobs… doing the stuff that we want to do?!
Stupid balance.
Stupid responsibilities.
Stupid Wii Fit! I would have junk punched that little fucking thing if it would have told me that.
just saying.
I would have thrown that Wii through a window.
Costa Rica sounds divine.
Maybe a life coach is the answer? You can become her drinking buddy and watch her life spiral down the drain just like all of ours.
“I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so… so… scared!” Cue crying on Zach’s shoulder.
And scene!
Also, I seriously want that monkey.
that whole balance thing is definitely tricky. but you’re allowed to want to just vedge at the house and do nothing but watch mindless television. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that – not neva.
A Life Tailor. That is sooo my new career.
Do you mind if I tailor mine first? Then I’m totally free to tailor yours.
I feel ya.
That’s all
I’ve been having my own crisis which has been giving me my own little brand of panic attacks. Yeah, I didn’t miss them.
And I know have the incredible desire to go watch Saved by the Bell.
- Kendall
i feel you. i’m always trying to squeeze as much social time into my schedule as humanly possibly. i’m sucker for a good time. but it never seems to be enough. someone always gets their feelings hurt.
and then it hits me like a ton of bricks that i haven’t taken time for myself to do the things i need to do. i realize that i’m exhausted from making everyone else happy. from drinking excessively. i get distracted easily and then put off the things that are important (i.e. school, health, sleep, etc.)
i’m always looking for ways to better balance my life. let me know when you figure it out.
Advance apologies for going all Oprah here, but I’ve got a book recommendation that provided a few aha moments that stuck with me for more than a week. “What Happy Women Know” by Dan Baker. I know the title sucks and the main author is a man, but it has some good points. You a definitely not alone in these feelings.
I definitely feel your pain. Time and Money are the root of all evil. It’s almost impossible to do everything you want to do.
One. I need that monkey. Along with those clouded leopards that were totally last weeks news.
Two I totally get what your saying about the social aspect of life. if I had it my way I’d snuggle on the couch every Friday at Sat catching up on my DVR’ed shows. But I don’t. I complain about going out and I go out and I have a blast. it’s a double edged sword.
1. I’m sure you’ll get everythign together, its just a matter of time
2. That monkey melts my heart
3. Not only was Jessie Spano in Showgirls, but she was the home wrecker in the first wives club.
Or you could just drink the anxiety away.
Just kidding. You’ll figure it out, girlie. When you need alone time, when you need together time, when you need just girlfriend time and when you need to just give up for a little bit to get some sleep. And I hate the hangover I get from my sleeping pills, too. But I take them anyway, because sleep is the nectar of the Gods.
Kimberly: I LOVE the Wii Fit. I highly recommend it… B found ours at Best Buy for ~$70, I think!
lacochran: Your logic is sound, my friend.
WickedCourtni: “Teetering” is a great way to put it. Honestly, I work MUCH harder at blogging, why won’t someone just pay me for this? Sheesh.
Oxen Cox: At least then I’d feel better about myself. That’d be a damn good Life Coach.
Sarah: ME TOO.
Deutlich: You can balance me tonight, when I’m wasted on your shoulder.
shine (tafkam): Yes, please do! Then you can share the secret with the world. Or charge for it. Either way.
A Super Girl: Thanks, love. Preesh.
theoddduckling: Move over. The one with the oil spill’s on.
Venomiss008: You do seem as busy as me, if not busier. How the hell do we do it? Sigh.
Margo: The Ebony Queen is always welcome up in here! I’ll check it out pronto.
alwaysandnever: I know, right? Unless you HAVE them. Then they’re awesome. Gah.
Kristen: Please to share the leopards when you get your paws on them. And you’re right. I almost always have a blast when I go out… it’s just GETTING UP and OUT THE DOOR that’s a problem. My Snuggie calls to me.
Lil’ Woman: She is a little hooker face, isn’t she??
Kate: I know. I’ll keep taking them… I ‘ll take groggy over sleep-deprived and crazy any day.
sing it sister! i hear ya loud and clear. i think most folks have way too much on their plates and are always tired. and feeling like they are missing out on some important stuff. sadly i don’t know how to make it all better short of winning the lottery! all i want to do is sleep and when i wake up it will all start up again. :[
Add three kids to that and then get back to me.
Seriously though – I think it’s one of the growing pains people go through in their 20s – tyring to find time to fit it all in.
There is never enough time. The time gods do this on purpose just to fuck us over. I suggest drinking more which makes everything seem less important, or at least less urgent.
It’s hard to have a boyfriend and still be as socially active as you seem to be. As everyone above has said, you need to prioritize, be selective, and don’t feel guilty about being less available to everybody and anybody. That is probably what is causing you so much anxiety. Nobody will think less of you if you reorganize your life in a way that is less stressful and healthier for you.
I go through times where I’m so busy with this and that and I don’t sleep as much and I hardly ever see my husband, and it’s actually kind of exhilerating to be that busy. But sometimes you have to step back from all of the extraneous fun and only do the things that are REALLY important. As you get older it will become more and more obvious what those things are. Right now I’m trying to figure out how to work the exercise habit back into my life because that will help me sleep better. Everything is so damn time-consuming!!!
this post = my life! AND we were supposed to go to jamaica with my family (which would have been great with the whole money situ) now the fam can’t go and therefore we can’t go. anywhere!
OMG, OMG, OMG, the monkeeeeeey! You totally just made my day, possibly my weekend.
I’m not even touching on the crazy overload of life. Because if I stop and actually think about all I *should* be doing – ha, hair loss and spazz-outs inevitably follow. “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming”…
sometimes being growed up sucks. i wish i had good advice, i don’t i’m still trying to figure it out too!
thanks for the monkey though!
*hugs
Arguably the best Saved by the Bell scene ever (along with the scene in which zack uses his cell phone to call his dad. Wait for it. When his dad is in the same room, because that’s the only way zack can get his dad’s attention.).
Just remember what Frankie says and “Relax.” Now is the part when I sound like one of those people who just say “things have a way of working out.” They do and it might be painful and take adjustment, but you’ll figure it out.
More concrete advice – exercise (for realsies). It helps reduce stress, focuses your mind on something else, and helps you get a more restful sleep.
There’s only half of you now. The other part belongs to B and vise versa. When you give yourself to another, you only so much time to give to family, friends and other projects in you life. Planning and prioritizing becomes a must. Is it easy? No. Because the question then becomes, what and who do you prioritize out of your life for the time being. This may sound cruel. But when you think about it, by putting stress on yourself and not sleeping worrying about how to do everything, you won’t be around for anyone.
If all you feel like doing is snuggling with B at the end the day, then do it. Take it from an old married lady (four years) you will be glad you did after you are married with children. This is important time for you and B to get to know each other. To see how you fit and to iron out any kinks that you have. Sure you may not have time for others in you life, but if they love you, they will understand. And for other projects you will get to them when get to them. I haven’t had a decent kitchen to cook in for three years. I am finally getting around hiring a contractor to come in and renovate. Breath, relax it all falls into place.
And when you find yourself awake at night worrying about a thousand things, tell yourself there’s plenty of time tomorrow to worry and turn of your brain. It works. This how I got through planning my wedding and caring for my mother.
If you decide to go to the Chicago blog meetup you have to let me know so we can get together, you cannot come to Chicago and not give me a heads up!
God I would LOVE to get a paycheck blogging.
oh that wii fit. always being so honest and RUDE. i have no balance & get stressed out as well. i just constantly remind myself to breathe and that it is all going to be okay. simple yes. but it works.
Wow- 76 comments!! This obviously struck home for many! I feel you. I was a single gal for a loong time and I loved it..did everything on my own time, didn’t have to even think about it effecting someone else. Its hard..real hard. After 3 years at it..I still don’t have a handle on it.
i’m right there with you. i’ve recently become nocturnal because i can’t seem to sleep at night anymore
unbalance right here!
such is life! give and take…I remember back before marriage and can’t believe how much i have changed…I guess all for the good. Get what you want and do what you want before marriage and kids change everything.
Ah balance. Balance is key. When you find it, let me know. I’m 48 and still unbalanced. Yikes.
omg thats damn near the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Must. get. baby. monkey.
And I know what you mean about prioritzing. I just can’t seem to bring myself to go out and get shit-canned every single night, even though I really want to.
I have been avoiding my wii fit at all costs. It’s so passive aggressive and I just don’t have time in my life for that right now!
I know EXACTLY how you’re feeling. I missed a week’s worth of classes this week due to stress. I had no energy and no light at the end of the tunnel. I was in a big funk.
But I talked to my bosses and friends and now I can work from home and my friends are being supportive.
Such a relief.
Good luck ok?
I'M SO EXCITED… I'M SO… SOO… SCARED!!!!!
::blubbery tears::
I could've written this myself.
I have too many things going on & when that happens I have a tendency to just say "fuck it" to all of them.
Not smart.
YOU COME TO L.A.? OR LOUISIANA? IF IT'S L.A. YOU COME AND I WILL LICK YOUR FACE.
Oh LILU, you see how many people loveeeeeeeeee you. Situations will take care of themselves, really. I’m just as much worried and nocturnal but all I can say that, “it’s okay sometimes we cant get everything we want since we have to do other things.” That costa rica trip sure is necessary, a lot of people can see that
drollgirl: Are you offering me a winning lottery ticket? Yes please…
Kate CH: I have no idea how you do it, love. NONE AT ALL.
repliderium: I took your advice last night. My head hurts.
Cyndy: Exercise does help me sleep better, but as you say, I have NO idea where I would fit it in. I really need to reorganize.
mylittlebecky: Aww, I’m so sorry love! Maybe visit a friend somewhere? That’s what I’m doing… hooray for free places to stay on the beach
inkpuddle: I knew you would like that. And HAIR LOSS?! I need to chill out, pronto!
ria: We’re all in it together. You’re welcome!
JFo: Oh my lord, I remember that scene with his dad! Priceless! The big phone that was the size of his head. Hahahaha!
Patty Duke: You’re so right re: the half of me belonging to B now. I just need to start accepting it. And I like your idea about ‘turning off my brain’… if it worked for you in THAT situation, it can work for me!
rondamarie: I will… don’t think I’ll be able to make it, but I definitely will if I do!
WickedCourtni: I KNOW, right?
Jane: Wait. I’m supposed to be BREATHING?!
Lady Jane: Well, we’ll just have to keep struggling our way through it… let me know if you have any amazing revelations!
raych: Seriously, I’m becoming… A MORNING PERSON! Gasp. It’s disgusting!
Chelsea: *slaps five*
Caroline: Trying! I think we’re doing all right.
SMB: Oh please, lady. You’ve got it ALL together. Share your secrets!
los_artist: Ha. I still manage to get shit-canned… it’s just at home half the time.
Kez: Ohhh, thank goodness. Hopefully something like that breaks for me soon too! And thanks
Muppet Soul: It IS L.A., where one of my best friends lives… I’d LOVE to get back soon and let you lick my face!
insomniaclolita: You’re right, I just need to start letting situations take care of themselves… and I want to go back to CR SO badly!
Yep, I’m one of those people who will never find that balance. I am destined to be tired and overscheduled the rest of my days. *sigh*
Whew! I’m glad I’m going to comment because just realized I was almost going to be a turd monkey.
Is a lack of balance necessarily a bad thing?
Ummm, can I even tell you that yesterday at work Stankey Legg came on the XM (a mischievous coworker changed the station) and I honestly tried to justify running to my laptop, getting on your blog, and leaving you a comment just to tell you that the song came on and it made me think of you
You have a wonderful partner to lean on in the tough times – let him help you. And don’t forget to breathe.
Amen.
I’ve got unbalance written all over my ass.
It’s weird.
I feel the same way. There’s never enough time, and so when I take a minute to do nothing, I feel guilty. And, seriously, I miss the days when the money I earned went towards fun things and not paying rent and buying bread.
I have never been balanced. Who are these people that are?
I can totally relate…and LOL at blueviolet’s comment…I concur, I’ve never been balanced, I just go with the flow…
margelina: Sigh, right back atcha. We’ll figure it out eventually.
Jason: You are NOT a turd monkey! And decidedly poignant. Bonus!
Sweet Bea: YESSSSSSSSS!!! I did it last night OUT IN A BAR. Like, in PUBLIC. I am insane!
JPP: Tattoo?
Ashley: The problem is, I spend my money on fun and then go bread-less…
blueviolet: True nuff, love. True nuff.
Stacy (TRCC): It’s all we can do, I spose!
omg me too. hence me just now reading this. i may flood you with comments today.