In Which I Rub Sunshine and Kittens in the Government's Face

by LiLu on April 14, 2009

in $$$ in da bank, B, a reason to drink- like i need one, blogs, dc life, friends, going America all over everyone's ass, who flushed the economy?

You remember how I thought I owed the Feds $1,000?

I was wrong. Dead wrong.

I went to H&R Suck yesterday to see if they could help. I figured I HAD to be doing something wrong.

The lady plugged all the same numbers into her computer exactly as I had… and even managed to find an extra tax I’d forgotten to pay. Thanks, lady.

According to them, I owe Obama THIRTEEN hundred dollars. Not 1K.

THEN, she wanted $250 for all her fine work. Which was exactly what I had done, except, yanno, clicking another button that added $300 to my debt.

Needless to say, I grabbed my W2’s and RAN.

Straight to the pharmacy, where my anti-anxiety/panic attack pills were waiting. (Because life just makes too much fucking sense sometimes.)

And then stopped off at my neighborhood Mexi-mart for wine and 79 cent burritos. Since that’s all I can afford now. You gotta have priorities, after all.

As I write this, I am holding an enormous glass of vino, watching Turk airband to “That Girl Is Poison” on a rerun of Scrubs, and an exceptionally handsome man has promised to rub my feet later.

I mean, how does this NOT make you feel better?

I truly have the greatest friends, all across the country, one of whom I am going to lay on a beach with in Charleston all weekend. Another of whom I had a textual “I fucking love YOU man” with last night, and totally meant it when I said she’s going to have to be in my wedding someday. My family is amazing and loving and healthy, and I’m 25 years old with three grandparents still going strong.

Incredibly awesome, caring and talented people from all over the world send me gross and funny tidbits here in the comments and in emails every day. They think of me when they see Smittens and Poof toilet drops and Snuggie bar crawls and it makes me happy. They get me through the work week, and they have no idea how much they really mean to me. [Ed. note: THAT'S YOU.]

Finally, B came home last night, not even knowing yet about my taxes, and handed me an envelope with my name and our address on it… which makes this just that much cuter:

Text: Dear(est) LiLu: I was writing “thank you” notes for that briefing last week and thought of you. Thank YOU for being lovely, and sweet, and sticking with me. You’ll never regret it. I love you more than anyone else ever in the history of the world (or at least my own personal history). I was going to mail this… but ran out of stamps- I’m stamp poor but rich with love for you! Yours, B.

So, $1300, huh?

Fine. Take it. Cause my life? Is so definitely worth that.

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{ 1 trackback }

The Shiz My Boyfriend Says, Volume VII | Livit, Luvit
July 10, 2009 at 7:32 pm

{ 118 comments }

1 Lemmonex April 14, 2009 at 12:47 pm

Wow. look at you, all positive and shit.

I am going to have to do something about this.

2 PQ April 14, 2009 at 12:49 pm

I swear you have the most adorable boyfriend ever.

Fuck the economy. My dad went to get his taxes done last night. The one year that he doesn't owe thousands in taxes, he had to pay $465 to an annoying dude just because he had a lot of paperwork.

I swear, we need to open up a tax office next year. What do you say? And we won't even charge as much as those fuckers do…we'll do it for less, help people and STILL make a lil money.

I fucking heart you. I cannot wait till we have our first girl's night out…or in.

<3

3 insomniaclolita April 14, 2009 at 12:52 pm

WOOT. What a day. Does the wine and burrito combo helps making you feel better at all?

ps. Turk is my favorite in scrubs. And that’s one of my favorite episodes.

pss. I can do that dance. Shame on me .:P

4 PQ April 14, 2009 at 12:53 pm

PS: Can I have some of dem anxiety pills?

5 justjp April 14, 2009 at 12:54 pm

I so saw the Turk Poison dance the other day! It will make you smile. BTW: You are so worth at least $2,000.

6 Jen - The Secret Keeper April 14, 2009 at 12:57 pm

I think I love you! I Loved your ending line and the fact that B is “stamp poor but rich with love”!! Can I move in with you? I can’t pay $1300 a month though!! i def think my “LiLu for auction” idea is a winner! I wanna see a drunken ass LiLu doing the stanky leg in a snuggie! we’ll make it $25?? x

7 Mb April 14, 2009 at 1:00 pm

Wow. I never say “awwww” but I just did. So yea, blue ribbon to you for making Mb soggy eyed. High fives for finding the pretty lotus growing in the ugly swamp (i.e. the good in the bad).

8 Malnurtured Snay April 14, 2009 at 1:01 pm

Ouch.

Hey, if it makes you feel better, I’ll happily donate to you what I paid in Federal taxes to help ease your financial pain.

So, $4.66?

I know, I hate to rub it in.

I don’t know if you’ve done this, but why don’t you go ahead and have some extra cash held back from your paycheck? I know you said your tax problems were because of the bar tending, but an extra $10 a week paid NOW to the Feds won’t make a huge impact on your check, and you’ll hopefully get some money dollarbucks back next year.

9 Christy April 14, 2009 at 1:04 pm

Oh what a cute love note. Sorry to hear you owe the feds so much money. I think making a tweak to your deductions on your w-2 could fix that for next year – if I’m not mistaken, a deduction is just about $1300 so you’d break even next year. But I’m not a tax lawyer – maybe another one of your readers is.

10 Racquel Valencia April 14, 2009 at 1:04 pm

This was le cute.

In Canada, we don’t have to claim gratuities on our income taxes. This explains all.

My cure for the blues involves writing angry letters to God and shotgunning household products until I pass out. Yours actually sounds healthier.

11 Sassy Britches April 14, 2009 at 1:09 pm

Yaaaay! Love makes the world go ’round, and all that jazz.

Oh, and if it makes you feel any better…that $1300 I was getting, $200 is going to the tax preparer and the rest is paying my property taxes. Pthhttt. Being grown up is crap! :)

12 Megan April 14, 2009 at 1:12 pm

I’m loving the note from B.

Also? The govt. sucks.

13 Fearless in Toronto April 14, 2009 at 1:14 pm

First, $250 is freakin highway robbery for punching numbers into a computer. It’s not like you’re funneling money through numbered offshore corporations. Jeezus.

Second, I knew today would be shmoopy, and now I am sitting at my desk, all shmooped up and no place to go. Dammit, you and B!

14 SassyLittleGinger April 14, 2009 at 1:16 pm

i don’t really have anything productive to say, except i got a pretty kickass tax refund this year, so…

i love you!!!!! smooches!!

15 Matt April 14, 2009 at 1:16 pm

I fucking love mexi-marts. And $.79 burritos.

16 Del-V April 14, 2009 at 1:17 pm

Get Turbo Tax. It’s a lot easier to lie about your income to a computer program than it is to a live accountant.

Shit, I better post this Anonymously!

17 belle April 14, 2009 at 1:19 pm

I feel your pain. $1700. I would say we should get together and drink it out, but we’re broke. Curses!

18 Zandria April 14, 2009 at 1:22 pm

I owe over $3,000, but I was expecting it (I did a fair amount of freelance work last year, and they don’t take out any taxes on the money in advance). Still, it’s never fun to have to take that money out of your account and give it to the government. :(

19 Margarita April 14, 2009 at 1:25 pm

Dude, taxes suck but boyfriends rock.
Oh lord.
http://fab.typepad.com

20 hannahjustbreathe April 14, 2009 at 1:26 pm

I don’t think I’ve ever “heard” anyone so, well, PERKY to be paying the gov $1,300. Impressive! But, in the grand scheme of things, you’re right—it’s the people and experiences in your life that give you happiness and worth and love, not money.

Or so they say…

21 JoLee April 14, 2009 at 1:26 pm

sometimes all you need in life is wine, reruns of Scrubs and a love note to be right again.

22 Greta April 14, 2009 at 1:27 pm

What an awesome way to look at it Lilu. P.S. I watched that Scrubs last night too. Have I told you I’m so glad I found you?

23 Maxie April 14, 2009 at 1:27 pm

If you start selling your body let me know. I’d like to break me off a piece of that.

p.s. I had a NO WIPER last night!!! it was awesome.

24 Lexiloo April 14, 2009 at 1:27 pm

I love that note from B! So, so sweet. Please frame that and put it on your mantle for your great-great-great grandchildren to talk about someday

25 Kylie April 14, 2009 at 1:28 pm

Great attitude! Sometimes it can make all the difference! And, ya know, a great guy to snuggle up with!!

26 Just Playing Pretend April 14, 2009 at 1:31 pm

I’m practicing Turk’s dance now. I’m gonna get good and it’s going to be big. They’re going to say, “That girl has got it.” and if they don’t I’ll come to the internets and all my bloggys will. You inspired me with the positivity.

27 alwaysandnever April 14, 2009 at 1:37 pm

Thank you for bringing the Snuggie Bar Crawl into my life.
If you like that Turk clip, but sure you check out the “More than a Feeling” clip.
In response to your comment on my blog – Yes, I am in Charleston! If you want to meet up for a beer, that’d be cool! I have to work all weekend, but I’m sure we could figure something out.

28 lacochran April 14, 2009 at 1:37 pm

That’s the spirit! F the tax weasels. If it helps, look at it this way: you got the government to loan you $1300 for the last year for nothing! Suckas!

29 Karen April 14, 2009 at 1:39 pm

Nothing like Turk and Bell Biv Devoe to brighten up a Tuesday morning!

The IRS has a calculator online that tells you what you should owe / file for. It helps to avoid these terrible surprises.

PS: ’stamp poor’ should become part of everday conversation!

30 Jaxie Fantastic April 14, 2009 at 1:39 pm

First, B rocks my socks. Completely and totally.

Second, if I could I'd share my tax return with you… and I hate that H&R found even more sucktasticness in your taxes. That blows.

Third, I love your positivity (is that a word?) in the face of the previously mentioned sucktasticness. Kudos.

31 ria April 14, 2009 at 1:43 pm

1. do NOT EVER go to H&R Block…EVER.

2. Taxes are the devil

3. i LOVE scrubs

4. You are right your life totally worth that $ :)

32 A Super Girl April 14, 2009 at 1:43 pm

Way to be positive, LiLu!

Also, B’s last line about being stamp poor but rich in love for you?

Classic.

33 shine (the artist formerly known as meshealle) April 14, 2009 at 1:46 pm

And I was in the hospital all day yesterday with a bleeding ulcer problem. Wanna trade?

34 Margarita April 14, 2009 at 1:47 pm

Also, I’m tagging you to do this meme:

http://fab.typepad.com/fab/2009/04/my-style-in-one-picture.html

35 Stephanie April 14, 2009 at 1:48 pm

Oh my goodness. That letter is the sweetest thing EVER!

36 Briana April 14, 2009 at 1:51 pm

Aww. That is the sweetest thing ever!!!

37 f.B April 14, 2009 at 1:53 pm

You and Miss Bianca should talk. She should want to shank an IRS agent if she saw one, yet she’s kinda ok with all the dollars she owes.

38 lustyreader April 14, 2009 at 1:53 pm

Haha, this was my fave part of Poof Toilet Drops FAQ’s page:

“Outreach (scent) – Poof’s original scent, Japanese Mint, was researched and developed to emit a subtle, fresh and clean aroma that will take you to a far away, exotic land.”

Usually bathroom smells make me WISH I was in a far away land.

39 Little Ms Blogger April 14, 2009 at 1:58 pm

Yay for B having the best timing in the world! Boo to the IRS…

Keep in mind that B is worth much more than $1300 so you really do have a great deal.

40 ifihadtopickfive April 14, 2009 at 2:01 pm

wow lady…you could charge money for all that perspective. The only problem is, the government would then tax it as income. Bastards.

41 liferehab April 14, 2009 at 2:02 pm

B is absolutely adorable. You lucked out with that one. I would happily pay $1300 if my boy would be nice for once.

42 Beach Bum April 14, 2009 at 2:03 pm

So cute! And B’s handwriting is just as bad as the Boy’s…

43 The Clandestine Samurai April 14, 2009 at 2:07 pm

In lieu of finding out such a debt, I would've gone off and started drinking as well. But, you're a better person than I am, because I pick up rum instead of vino when I go to the store, and remembering that I have a family who loves me and roof over my head would not get rid of the fact that I'd have to pay that fee. I also would be thinking of ways to fight that H&R woman's charge.

See you on Twitter.

44 charlotteharris April 14, 2009 at 2:17 pm

yeah, at the end of a crappy day, when someone reminds you that you’re loved, suddenly everything seems OK.

45 flipflops April 14, 2009 at 2:18 pm

You two are so mushy, happy cute, I just want to squeeze you.

At our recession happy hour, I vote we only wear Snuggies. (And yes, I intend to talk about the RHH until we actually do it. I’ll provide the 3-Buck Chuck!)

46 Dagny Taggart April 14, 2009 at 2:21 pm

“Miss, we’re the government. We don’t have souls of which we are aware.”

I’m glad your life delivered a nice helping of awesome to balance out the tax issues – freelance/secondary income is such a double-edged sword!

47 Kristin April 14, 2009 at 2:22 pm

Yay! I’m glad that you could get out of there. Sorry they couldn’t alleviate the pain as they did for me….BUT, on the bright side you two will be down south soon chilling with MOI come Thursday evenin’!

See you soon lovah!

48 Kate Coveny Hood April 14, 2009 at 2:22 pm

The ability to keep things in perspective will serve you far better than $1,300. Sadly it will not buy you any 79 cent burritos – but still…

49 LBluca77 April 14, 2009 at 2:28 pm

Turbo tax. $29.99. $250 is highway robbery. It’s ok I owe too, damn the government, damn them to hell.
But at least you have a sweet boyfriend.

50 Liebchen April 14, 2009 at 2:29 pm

I might have “aww-ed” out loud at that note. Que adorable.

And the foot rubs? I’m totally jealous.

51 Kellie April 14, 2009 at 2:32 pm

That is one of the cutest little love letters ever. What a sweetheart you’ve got! :)

And F the government! Piss on them!

52 Fizzgig April 14, 2009 at 2:38 pm

that note is pretty adorable!!! You might want to get with me on ways to lock him in a closet forever more. I’m working on this myself with my guy.

Taxes. Screw that! I had to pay each year too. It never makes sense to me how you can owe money after having already given half your money away! Its disgusting!

53 Marie April 14, 2009 at 2:40 pm

Those effing SOB mofos!! I can’t believe them. I seriously cannot believe their audacity wanting that much $$ from you.

But B’s letter is super sweet.

Effing taxes.

54 Kristina P. April 14, 2009 at 2:41 pm

OK, I don’t feel so bad about my life now.

55 Vittoria April 14, 2009 at 2:42 pm

i love this.

56 Kate April 14, 2009 at 2:51 pm

Your life is definitely worth that times infinity. Plus one. :)

57 Shelly April 14, 2009 at 2:52 pm

Oh I was hoping when I wrote the H&R Block raping you comment at least they would have found an error! Sorry to hear that! taxes suck! but B does ROCK! What a sweetheart!

58 brookem April 14, 2009 at 2:56 pm

B had some seriously good time there with that little sweetness of a note. You gots yourself a keeper, missy. Glad that you have so much good to not but such an effing damper on the tax thing.

Can we text?

59 LiLu April 14, 2009 at 3:05 pm

Lemmonex: Is that a threat? Rawwwr.

PQ: Girls nights are the best. And sure ;-)

insomniaclolita: Turk is amazing… and I demand a video!

justjp: Aw, thanks… I think?

Jen – TSK: Don’t forget- WHILE HULA HOOPING!

Mb: I “awwwwed” you! I’m so proud!

Snay: Um, thanks. I know how to work a 1040EZ. My situation is different and my company does not withhold ANY money, I have to do it myself. But thanks for the advice… slash insult.

Racquel: Hmmm. Maybe we should combine cures… I’m pretty sure it would fix cancer.

Sassy Britches: Being grown up is seriously getting on my nerves. Pthhttt, agreed!

Megan: Yes… and YES.

Fearless: “All schmooped up” is a scientific term. I’m pretty sure. And YOU’RE WELCOME.

SLGinger: I forgive you. xoxo

Matt: ME TOO. They make life that much better, truly.

Del-V: That’s the plan. I mean, what? Who’s blog is this? KIDDING, IRS MAN.

belle: Hmmmm. Bathtub gin? I’m down if you are…

Zandria: That’ll be me next year, thank goodness!

Margarita: Damn you and your difficult memes! Aww, I still love you.

hannahjustbreathe: I’m trying to make it my mantra…

JoLee: It’s so simple, yet true.

Greta: Likewise, loveduck!

Maxie: NO YOU DIDN’T! I want proof!

Lexiloo: Duly noted :-)

Kylie: Snuggling’s the best, isn’t it?

JPP: I MISSED YOU. Also, demand to see video proof of said dance. Also, I MISSED YOU.

alwaysandnever: I’ll shoot you an email so we can try to work something out! :-)

lacochran: There is truth in what you speak, which is also helping to soothe my wounds.

Karen: Next year will be completely different and non-headachey, thank goodness, due to quarterly filings. And yes, it totally should!

Jaxie: He rocks my socks too. He rocks a lot of socks, in fact. ;-)

ria: Oh believe me, I won’t. And thanks, love.

A Super Girl: I know, right? That killed me.

shine: Oh, you poor thing! You need to make a “positivity list” of your own!

Stephanie: Gotta hand it to the guy.

Briana: Pretty damn close to it!

f.B: Tomorrow? HH? She is my kindred tax spirit.

lustyreader: I so want to get those things. They’re HILARIOUS! And who knows, maybe they work?

LMB: Oh, he is. A LOT more. It’ll be okay :-)

ifihadtopickfive: No one is more of a bastard than the freaking government. Grrrrr.

liferehab: There’s a few good ones out there…

Beach Bum: Ha! I was waiting for someone to comment on that…

Samurai: I left without paying and said I’d do them myself, thank goodness. See you on the Twit!

charlotteharris: It’s so true, isn’t it?

flipflops: YES! That is a fantabulous idea! I’ll bring the PBR AND MY SNUGGIE!

Dagny Taggart: It really is. Fortunately, I’ll have a different sitch next year. Sigh.

Kristin: I can’t wait! See you in TWO DAYS!!!

Kate CH: At least I have B to keep me in burritos…

LBluca77: That’s what I’m doing, thank goodness. $250 my ass!

Liebchen: And it felt goooooood.

Kellie: I know. I’m trying to think about the sweetheart, and NOT the government…

Fizzgig: Oh, I’m pretty sure he’s locked up ;-) And YES re: paying more! WTF??

Marie: Their audacity OFFENDS me! *Spits on Feds*

Kristina P: Glad to help ;-)

Vittoria: Me too.

Kate: See, this is why I keep you around. *Smooch*

Shelly: Such is life. (Sigh) At least it ain’t all bad ;-)

brookem: Sending you my digits now…

60 Kendall April 14, 2009 at 3:10 pm

The warm and fuzzies abound now. It does my cynical little heart good.

Or would if I were actually cynical aside from certain sitches.

Now I feel an intense need to hug my friends randomly.

61 Mb April 14, 2009 at 3:19 pm

was just reading your replies and was eager to see your response to mal.snay. good comeback girl. i sympathize. i was in a similar situ, and it blows giant infected rhino balls. fingers crossed for you on this one. good luck!

62 Kelly April 14, 2009 at 3:21 pm

Hi! I’m new here. Big Gulps.

Loved this post. I will be back. I figure anyone who calls me a Super Hipster should be my new friend. Even though I still don’t really understand the hipster thing, anything with super has to be a compliment… Right?

Anyway, Turk rocks.

63 calixta.jive. April 14, 2009 at 3:39 pm

sorry about your taxes, but sweetie… thanks for ALWAYS making me smile.

oh and watch a few episodes of HIMYM and just try not to laugh at barney… heehee. ;o)

64 tobwot April 14, 2009 at 3:39 pm

Ouch. $1300 is a bitter pill to have to choke down at the best of times.

You should ask for a bailout.

Or at the very least, a Bailout.

65 moooooog35 April 14, 2009 at 3:43 pm

…and that’s how B got to put it in your bum that night.

Nicely played, B.

Nicely played.

66 Marissa April 14, 2009 at 3:46 pm

If it makes you feel better, I had to get an extension this year because I lost my W-2 like a jackass. Oh, and I got a letter from the IRS the other day threatening to put me in jail because of a mistake my old payroll company made in 2007. (They sent in two W-2’s so it looked like I made twice as much as I did.) Now, I have to get a special letter and pay to send it to the IRS. Fuck taxes. This crazy bitch has the right idea.

67 Lil' Woman April 14, 2009 at 3:49 pm

Oh Turk, you make Scrubs worth watching…

How sweet of B, screw buying stamps, hand delivered is much more sweeter! : )

68 Malnurtured Snay April 14, 2009 at 3:50 pm

LiLu:

Sorry if I worded that poorly, I meant, “does your filing status not permit you to use the 1040EZ?” No insult intended.

69 Deutlich April 14, 2009 at 3:55 pm

You know how I’m all schmoopie and shit? Like, I get super sentimental and explode with things like the CareBears did because that’s just how I learned to do things (thanks to the CareBears, obvi) and. .uh..

I might be a lil’ misty eyed over on this end of the world. Both because of your shout out to me and how much you and B as a couple make me all warm and fuzzy and happy and stuff.

fuck the $$.

and YAAAAAY to your perspective on things. I think that makes you the richest of us all. money ain’t a thang..

i can’t wait to make y’all my world renowned breakfast. I am TELLING you, that shit is my claim to fame. Even Jack tried to tell y’all at the bar.

haaahahahaha

70 LiLu April 14, 2009 at 4:05 pm

Kendall: Go for it. Just don't bite for emphasis. People don't seem to like that.

Mb: "Giant infected rhino balls"… that just MADE ME DAY. And is SO damn appropriate.

Kelly: Aw, thanks for coming over! Take off your shoes and stay awhile ;-)

calixta.jive: Glad to make you smile, truly. It's why I'm here!

tobwot: That is AWESOME. I'm seriously printing the recipe out.

moooooog35: You two are talking now?? Oh crap…

Marissa: Why is the man trying to keep us down?? And that is AWESOME.

Lil' Woman: That's what I said!

Snay: Ahhhh, no worries. I simply went to H&R because I was hoping they could work some magic. Oh well.

Deutlich: *nom nom nom* That's me, nomming your face. Hope you don't mind.

71 Kendall April 14, 2009 at 4:11 pm

*pout* But biting makes everything better. Or is that just sex? I forget sometimes.

72 dmb5_libra April 14, 2009 at 4:17 pm

awwwwwwww. seriously. awesome bf’s are the best!

73 Violet April 14, 2009 at 4:26 pm

Just when you feel everything is going to shit…you look up, appreciate what you have and then B….steps right in on the perfect que and takes it to the next level! what a sweetheart!

74 WickedCourtni April 14, 2009 at 4:27 pm

That is the god damn cutest thing I have ever read. Did he air hump when he gave it to you?

I just need to know because I think that your B and my D are already friends in the boyfriend oblivion.

Or something.

75 phampants April 14, 2009 at 4:43 pm

and I though owing $500 was bad. sorry, that just uber sucks

76 The Demigoddess April 14, 2009 at 4:48 pm

Lilu, you have an award on my blog. Come collect!

77 Jaime @ Fast Times April 14, 2009 at 4:48 pm

Dude. That’s the cutest never mailed letter I ever read in my life!!!!

78 Lisa April 14, 2009 at 4:53 pm

Owie owie ow. That’s a lot of cash. I’m sorry about that.

79 repliderium.com April 14, 2009 at 4:55 pm

That note is worth a blowjob in a parking lot or a McDonalds bathroom (I’m classy like that)

80 T â„¢ April 14, 2009 at 5:28 pm

Your life is definitely worth it.

Don’t feel bad… uncle sam took my money too. :(

81 Alanna April 14, 2009 at 5:34 pm

Awww, all warm and fuzzy inside. Way to find the bright side of being ROBBED 1300 DOLLARS!

82 Narm April 14, 2009 at 5:59 pm

Wanna fire some of that positive energy in my direction? Otherwise I might never leave the couch and it’s promises of Scrubs reruns.

83 lucklys April 14, 2009 at 6:06 pm

i owe about $400, so not too bad, but still stupid. why should i have to pay to do nothing with my life?!

you guys are so sweet it makes me sick.

84 Kim April 14, 2009 at 6:07 pm

Oh! I loved this post. I love that it had a happy ending. How sweet of a letter.

Taxes blow lately. I’ve heard of so many people getting stuck with tax bills. I narrowly escaped one this year.

85 mylittlebecky April 14, 2009 at 7:42 pm

that’s the best (not the taxes, obv).
and i love thank you notes. so much!

86 Dmbosstone April 14, 2009 at 7:48 pm

Now that’s the way to end a rant! Keep your chin up, people love you!

87 PorkStar April 14, 2009 at 8:01 pm

That was so nice of B, dude… he da man! Nice to hear he’s such a love with you.

88 Mike April 14, 2009 at 8:17 pm

thank you for writing out that note.

I couldn’t find a chicken to translate it for me ;)

89 JFo April 14, 2009 at 8:26 pm

Ouch. Hope those 79 cent burritos came with extra gummint cheese.

90 cavy April 14, 2009 at 8:31 pm

the turk dance is one of those that i break out occasionally when intoxicated.

and by occasionally, i mean 90% of the time.

i think there might be a duet in our future – you do the stanky legg, i’ll rock the bell biv devoe set.

91 Margo April 14, 2009 at 8:50 pm

what was the name of your prescription? It’s a giant positivity convention over here today. I like it :)

92 Bow Chica Wah Wah April 14, 2009 at 8:57 pm

aww how freaking sweet!

93 LiLu April 14, 2009 at 9:19 pm

Kendall: It’s BOTH. Trust.

dmb5_libra: You know what? You are TOTALLY right!

Violet: The cake? He takes it.

WickedCourtni: Seriously, they are having a bromance in BizarroWorld as we speak.

phampants: Thanks, dear. I’ll get through it!

The Demigoddess: You are too sweet! *Skwudge*

Jaime: Isn’t it, though? He’s precious, my boy.

Lisa: It hurts, dude.

repliderium: I think that’s spelled “klassy,” Miss.

T: He’s an asshat. For reals.

Alanna: Dude, I try. I TRY.

Narm: Mmmm… that sounds better. Pass the popcorn.

lucklys: We are kind of vomit-inducing…

Kim: I hope to be in your boat next!

mylittlebecky: They really brighten up a day, even if they’re not from the love of your life ;-)

Dmbosstone: *Lifts chin* Will do!

PorkStar: Trust, he loves me good. ;-)

Mike: I hear ya. The real thing isn’t THAT much better…

JFo: There’s always aerosol cheese too…

cavy: Ooooo- then we’ll both do the Carlton together! AWESOME.

Margo: Ha- it is, isn’t it? Just doing my part around the interwebs :-)

Bow Chica Wah Wah: Truly.

94 Piper Jacquelyn April 14, 2009 at 9:36 pm

I have a friend that owes $1300 as well! WTF?! I feel like if you owe anything, they should just zero it out, I mean, it sucks enough that you don't get anything back, right?! At least you and your fam & friends are awesome and you totally realize that! Good for you!

95 Titania April 14, 2009 at 9:40 pm

Lilu, I love you too. You always make me laugh and smile and the world always look a lot better after I read your posts. Even the rants ones.

96 Muppet Soul April 14, 2009 at 9:42 pm

Umm, that video made me so happy. I feel like I could do that.

Fuck Uncle Sam. And he calls himself a relative.

Hugs and smooches. Things will look up.

97 Connie April 14, 2009 at 10:24 pm

Wow! H&R is getting expensive!! They were always hit or miss for us. If they screw up (happens) you can file a corrected return later.

Taxact.com” has worked well for us the last two years (we got a discount on the $16.95 “ultimate” pack this year because we used it last year.) You can do it on-line, or off (off!). They have all the forms, federal and state. We e-filed and got emails back from federal and state ok’ing it.

:p Happy tax day. Hope you have lots of sun-shiny kittens.

98 Kimberly April 14, 2009 at 11:22 pm

I hate taxes so much! I am starting my own business and I took a tax class so I would know which taxes I need to file. I found out that I have to report and pay personal use tax on my personal items, like my computer and cell phone, if I will use them in the course of business. What the Fuck? I own this shit and now that I start a business I have to pay taxes on shit I all ready own? Seriously, no wonder capitalism is dying.

Um, B is so adorable! How lucky are you to get such a wonderful pick me up! Boyfriends are awesome. Its when they turn into husbands that they start to suck ass sometimes. Once in awhile I will say to my hubs, “I really wish I that I was still with that great boyfriend. I heard he got married and now treats his wife like poo. Where did my fantastic boyfriend go? I want him back!” His response “pishaw, whatever!”
I love messing with him.

99 drollgirl April 15, 2009 at 12:10 am

ugh. $1300. well, pay it and put it out of yer mind. not much else you can do. and i love that you ran out. one time i used the mens room at burger king and when it filled up with MEN i made a run for it. they were yelling at me, but INDISPOSED so they could not run after me. yay.

100 Kate April 15, 2009 at 12:10 am

Did you notice Turk did the stanky leg?

101 Kez April 15, 2009 at 12:15 am

WOOHOO for positivity and sh*t! I’ve been surrounded by negative people the last couple of weeks and had no-one to be positive with…
thanks!
:)

102 justrun April 15, 2009 at 12:24 am

That’s really wonderful that you guys remember to treasure each other like that. It says so much about your relationship.

103 Your Ill-fitting Overcoat April 15, 2009 at 1:10 am

I fucking love this.

104 alissa April 15, 2009 at 1:22 am

thats awesome – the note, not the taxes. booo taxes.
but you have a great attitude, nice work :)

thanks for your comment – come visit again soon!

105 alissa April 15, 2009 at 1:33 am

ps i love your blog. its kind of amazing and i cant stop laughing about the shart issue. you have a new devoted follower :)

106 Amandaaa April 15, 2009 at 2:31 am

This post reached 106 comments.
Incredible. So I’m sure my comment
will get lost among the 100’s.
But I just wanted to say that B
is pretty awesome.

And .79 burritos sounds lovely!

107 Emily April 15, 2009 at 2:39 am

awww fucking hell. you got me all mushy inside now.

108 Smart Mouth Broad April 15, 2009 at 2:40 am

Doesn’t that man of yours work on the hill? Is nepotism dead?

109 Smart Mouth Broad April 15, 2009 at 2:41 am

Oh and the note: Adorable. I love him.

110 smiles4u April 15, 2009 at 3:27 am

I think you must have the best boyfriend ever! He’s a keeper! By the sounds of it, he thinks you are too!

111 Lana April 15, 2009 at 4:11 am

Hi! Thanks for leaving me comment luv on my post today! :)

$0.79 for a burrito? Wow. That almost makes up for H&R wanting $250 for hitting "send". Almost…

112 inkpuddle April 15, 2009 at 4:27 am

Awww. :)

I have a date with my tax forms in the morning. *Gulp.*

113 Being Brazen April 15, 2009 at 8:02 am

your Boyfriend is adorable. Definitely a keeper :)

114 blueviolet@A Nut in a Nutshell April 15, 2009 at 11:41 am

*sniff sniff* You’ve got yourself a keeper there!

115 LiLu April 15, 2009 at 2:40 pm

Piper Jacquelyn: Sounds like she and I should get a pity drink together!

Titania: Aw, thanks so much, hon! You make my heart warm.

Muppet Soul: Relative my ass. And I accept your hugs and smooches gratefully. If only I could pay my taxes in those…

Connie: I'll try them next year! Thanks dear.

Kimberly: That is some serious BS re: your taxes! And maybe we'll just never get married so he stays so wonderful…

drollgirl: Hahaha I love you for that! Awesome!

Kate: YES. YES I DID!

Kez: You are so welcome! The sun is shining over here.

justrun: Aw, thanks! I think you're right ;-)

Your IFO: Me too, darlin. Me too.

alissa: Will do ;-) And you do the same, new devoted follower! xoxo

Amandaaa: I read EVERY comment, ALWAYS, and treasure every single one. Trust. <3

Emily: Yes! Mission accomplished.

SMB: He does! WTF? At least he makes up for it in love notes.

smiles4u: We're a good match :-)

Lana: It was a pretty crappy burrito. And you're welcome!

inkpuddle: Lord. I hope you fare better than me, love.

Being Brazen: I know, right? How'd I get so lucky?

blueviolet: He's a good egg.

116 Hanako66 April 15, 2009 at 4:49 pm

I had to pay too…boo

B is a sweetheart!

117 The Cottage Cheese April 15, 2009 at 9:43 pm

That sucks about having to pay even more taxes, but it sounds like your life is rich in so many ways: good friends and family, and a sweet, thoughtful boy.

And also I wanted to thank you for your sweet comments on my blog!

118 Blaez April 23, 2009 at 12:05 am

wow. i’m in shock.

ps, thanks for hittin my blog today :)

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