The thing about being in a relationship is that once you get used to the idea of “Being With Someone, You Know, Officially” (i.e., on Facebook) (kidding) (sort of), you kind of just assume it. It becomes part of you. And eventually, you forget that “TAKEN” isn’t stamped across your forehead with “and happy” in fine print beneath it. Because, as one of my new blog crushes La Dolce Vita found out, there are those guys who even “I’M MARRIED AND PREGGERS” won’t stop. Blech.
Anyway, after YOU get used to the fact that you have an S.O., you sort of forget that everyone else doesn’t magically know about it. And even though you cease to see your everyday interactions as possibilities, flirtations, etc… the rest of the world does not.
Which explains why I might have sort of accidentally hit on someone yesterday.
And didn’t realize it until about five minutes after the fact.
Let me ‘splain.
As I’ve said, B and I are kicking our own asses this month, diet- and exercise-wise. (Who knew you could fall asleep without booze? Crazy talk!) So, my mission yesterday was to actually see the gym at my office for the first time, and quite possibly even go so far as to SIGN UP. Which probably would have burned 5 calories alone! But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
I was heading down towards the basement to check it out, which was about all I knew as far as said gym’s “location”, and I held the door open for a guy coming into the stairwell behind me. As I continued downstairs I realized two things:
A) I do not have the slightest idea where the gym actually is, and there
are about 4 levels to the “basement”…B) The guy behind me was carrying a gym bag.
Using my phenomenal powers of deduction, I realized that said gentleman could probably point me in the right direction. I awkwardly stopped, turned around, and said,
“Hey, I’m sorry to bother you… but are you going to the gym?”
Which, apparently, when said by a 20-something girl to a 20-something guy, can mean two entirely different things based on your “Status”. See below:
In a Relationship: “I’m sorry to bother you… but are you going to the gym?”
Single: “I think you’re cute and I couldn’t think of a less lame way to talk to you.”
WHOOPS. At least I didn’t make muscley-arms at him, a la Ron Burgundy. (“I don’t know if you heard me counting, I did about a thousand…”) He looked surprised and then flattered, pointed me in the right direction, and offered to walk me there, at which point I decided to beg off and duck into the library. The gym and my, ahem, voluptuous ass could wait one more day.
As I left, he kind of winked at me, and said, “The gym, is good, yes?” and I realized I had inadvertently hit on a young Latino man. Talk about flipping roles. But apparently, the “Are you going to the gym?” guy code transcends all language barriers.
And now I’m off to get some ink on my forehead that says, “No, I’m not flirting with you… I’m just dumb.”
{ 41 comments }
One, that gym is phenomenal and I miss it dearly. Two, I do that ALL THE FRIGGIN time and totally unintentionally. Three, you can always say your “culture” is more “friendly”.
I am getting a tattoo that says “PLEASE CALL ME BACK” on my forehead.
You could have said “You’re ugly, stupid, smell funny and there’s absolutely no chance in this world or the next, or even the one after that, you’d ever have a chance with this,” and a guy would still hold out hope. Why? Because we know by experience many women change their minds like, ahem, some buy shoes. As often as humanly possible.
You know that guy’s gonna be at the gym every free second now, trying to run into you again. You know, since you hit on him and everything.
Maybe he had something in his eye?
Also — excedrin PM is my happy drug when beer and/or vodka won’t do.
I definitely hear you, Mister and I have been together for four years and sometimes I definitely forget that I’m not wearing a T-Shirt that says “I know I’m young, but I really am married. And happy. Thanks.”
I work in theatre and we always do these massive meet and greets when we have a new cast in (which is 12 times in 6 months) and because I’m one of the only girls under 50 I end up being eyeballed the whole time.
No one ever seems to notice that I’m wearing wedding rings. Actors!
Love the new loook – sorry it took me a day – I’m in your old stomping ground (NC) visiting my munchkins.
What’s a gym?
Why didn’t you give him my number? Come on! Think about these things!!!
Jo: I guess I really do have to get down there… and no one’s going to believe that when I say I’m a Masshole.
Lemm: I also may or may not have accidentally agreed to have lunch with the new Irish guy I want to set you up with. I didn’t even hear what he was saying until I’d said “uh huh, uh huh” while doing 400 other things. Oh well, I’ll mention my boyfriend in the first sentence and then start talking about how pretty you are.
Foggy: Ugh, you’re probably right. And I haven’t bought a new pair of shoes in months, thankyouverymuch!
Liebchen: ACCIDENTALLY. The damsel in distress card comes just a little too naturally, I spose.
flipflops: I did take some Nyquil last night. Eventually I’ll be able to do it cold turkey, I hope.
Kyla Bea: Theatre people wouldn’t care if you WERE wearing that T-shirt. They’d just think it was campy. And then hit on you.
PLT: Thanks, lady. And say hi to Roy for me!
Maxie: Please refer to the second half of the tattoo I’m planning.
If some girl asked me where the gym was it would be pants off dance off right there.
The more pressing question is why the hell is there a library next to the gym? Who goes to the library? nerds.
Wait are there hot chicks there, then nerd me up.
Can I just tell you how jealous I am that you have a gym in your office? I would be seriously jack diesel at this point. For realz.
Next time you see him just casually mention that you and your boyfriend are having a competition on who can lose the most weight and figured sex can’t be your only form of exercise. Oh wait that may turn him on!
haha. with the latino men, this certainly is a role reversal. for me it’s the sweet middle eastern (?) men at dunkin donuts every morning. i never knew “medium french vanilla, skim milk” could be such a turn on.
at least you didn’t ask where the cafeteria was. because then, clearly, you’d be proving you eat and wanted to go to lunch/dinner with him immediately.
LOL!!! Lilu – I’m sorry to tell you that when you are 20-something and cute…ANYTHING you say and do to ANY man will be received as “flirting.”
Work it to your advantage while you still have the power!
Totally agree with nothingfancy1. Your day will come when the reply is
“that way ma’am” *pointing finger in general direction*
Take it from a “ma’am” – sigh
rs27: “Pants off dance off”- isn’t that a Zack Attack song?
Kate: I know, I’m an idiot for not taking advantage sooner!
Shelly: If that turned him on, he’s got bigger problems. And I would run.
brookem: Just don’t order a sausage sandwich…
f.B: That’s very, very true. Of course I could have said something like, “Oh yeah, I’m anorexic, so I need to know how to avoid it…” I’m not very good at this.
Nothing Fancy: I’m all for working it to my advantage… as long as they don’t ACTUALLY think I want some sexytime.
fiona: Duly noted, miss.
You must be much nicer then me. Guys take one look at me and I give them the death glare. No one thinks I’m pretty anymore, just crazy. C’est la vie.
It’s kind of sad that some people can’t ask a simple question without it being misconstrued, though. Do you think he would have construed it as flirting if you were twenty years older and/or 100 pounds heavier…?
Well. At least he thinks you’re hot.
It’s not even just the gym question, it’s pretty much anything.
You: “I just read an interesting article about the Holocaust.”
Single Dude Hears: “Let’s do it. Now.”
“The gym is good, yes?” Haha! You know when he said “gym” he meant something totally different…
But don’t worry, it’s not your fault. Some guys, all you have to do is (have boobs and) look in their general direction.
Oxen Cox: I’ll work on perfecting my death glare this weekend. Although, the main problem is knowing WHEN to bust it out.
Zandria: Hmm, probably not. Crazy kids and their VD.
Kate: Silver lining, eh? As long as I don’t see him again…
surviving myself: I feel better if that’s the case. I’ll test out that Holocaust line next time, though.
Laura: I’m trying to remember if the girls were out at all yesterday. Oh well, I guess all that matters is whether they’re there…
Oh! You flirt! ;-D
I live in the Middle East. I am Western. Therefore, although most men I meet are actually (truly) very respectful and genuinely sweet, others automatically assume that I am a Baywatch extra sent over specifically to seduce local guys. (nevermind I am over 40, happily married, kids, etc). Getting ‘Not a whore’ tattooed on my forehead would just encourage that kind.
Same prescription as I use for the other variety of beggars. Dark glasses. No eye-contact.
So wait… Are you saying that you weren’t flirting with me on either of the times we met?
For Chrissakes…talk to some of the chicks at this office.
Gym is like a hairy sausage-fest.
The only other place I’ve seen less boobs is on Rachael Ray.
I’ve learned in man world, girls only go to the gym to find boys. As if, a girl could possibly go to the gym to become a lean fighting machine. I mean that’s just crazy talk.
Connie: You’ll always be a Baywatch extra to me. *E-hug*
Gilahi: Well, that was different. How can a girl resist that hair?
moooooog35: Rachael Ray may not have boobs, but at least her voice isn’t annoying. OH WAIT.
Miss Scorpio: I wish you were ‘out’ so we could go gymming together. I have a feeling you’d be a rockstar kickboxing partner.
Funnily enough, I hate that gym! But Jo really used to like it. Apparently their classes are very good. And they have a wonderful masseuse.
You’re hilarious!
If I got a guy to wink at me, I would SO wink back. Then the next time I’d see him, I’d flash him the wedding ring.
I like to dangle carrots. It’s all I’ve got left.
How could you do that to Mr. Gym Guy?
Hussy.
Wait, so you were NOT flirting with me when you mounted me?
Damn it, I can’t pick up on ANY signals.
Beach Bum: Did you say masseuse?? Okay, I’m signing up TODAY.
Dolce: Carrots and GIGUNGO TA TAS from where I’m sitting.
lacochran: He did seem sweet, despite the wink. Why are women so cruel?
Arjewtino: Just because I climbed you like a tree does not mean I’ll put out! Sheesh. It means I’mapproximately 5 years old inside. And drunk on tequila.
I have had this conversation with my guy friends. It is true when a girl talks to a guy the automatically assume she wants to “have sex” with them. Most of the time all we are trying to do is politly tell the guy they are in our way.
maybe you shouldn’t have bent down to tie your shoe so seductively.
oh, you didn’t do that?
stop being so damn hot then.
Oh, Lilu! I feel your pain. I’m a lot older than you are but there have been so many times that I have “hit” on men inadvertantly. I just don’t think about how things sound. I just want what I want. And sometimes that sounds like flirting. But I don’t realize it because I’m so pure of heart and all. *wink*
Gym? What is this place of which you speak?
LBluca77: I love that “have sex” is in quotes. So it’s not just me, then?
Alexa: I heart you.
SMB: “I just want what I want.” EXACTLY. And right then, my ass wanted to know where the gym was without searching every floor for it. I’m lazy if anything…
Nutty Cow: I know, I know. Allegedly there are good classes, though… that should ease the pain, I hope.
Makes me want to tell a black chick how “FINE” she is looking today (as if she did not already know).
Things get so very tricky between boys and girls. But if I got a tattoo for every time I’m an idiot, I’d be covered in ink, so I might reconsider that plan if I were you.
I found over 15000 tattoo designs http://tinyurl.com/b4qqf2
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